On the intranet at work all the different teams have little social media pages. They're exactly what you would expect. Anyway, Big Fat Bob (BFB) from my team made a post on the catering page (there's a subsidised restaurant at work) about how he likes his bacon crispy but there isn't an option to put them on a grill used for frying eggs anymore.
In our teams group chat there was some discussion of this, postulating why they can't have crispy bacon anymore.
Bored, I decided to lie to entertain myself. I said it was because they need to accurately report our carbon footprint (we just had a meeting about doing this with all external contracts). So they just removed the option for double-cooking bacon, which they couldn't accurately track and thus report, so they don't upset the Green Initiative Team.
I then went for lunch.
When I got back it turns out there'd been a massive fight that came out of this, with people saying they had had it 'up to here' with all the ESG stuff and that the entire initiative was unworkable anyway. I think it was the straw that broke the camel's back for a few people, and everyone was trading shots and people have now formally requested that the new green initiative be put on hold. So an entire team of four people on the GIT are now working furiously to make the case for why themselves and their plans should still exist.
On top of that, people started complaining about the caterers stripping meat from the menu to improve the carbon footprint rating and because everyone's profile has their picture on it they know it was BFB who started all this. Their contract (they're out-sourced) is up for renewal and they now think it's in jeopardy, and when BFB went to pick up his favourite desert (Sicilian lemon cheesecake) the pastry chef picked them up and put them away. Could be to get a fresh batch, but BFB thinks it's personal.
My manager just asked me where I found all this out from and I said "oh I made it all up" and he burst out laughing.
Anyway, anyone else having Friday shenanigans?

The story starts, as so many seem to, in an inn. But this is not just any inn, but the cleanest, friendliest inn in all of Emon - The Bright Vagabond - owned and operated by a halfling named Tarlan Hillspark. As he prepared to open for the day, a young baker's apprentice named Sliver entered nervously and was gestured to a seat at a large round table marked 'Reserved'. Soon, others gathered; a tall half-elf named Garrick with a symbol of the Raven Queen on his shield, a cheerful gnome named Ashrina dressed in bright colors, and a lanky humanoid called Kid, who wanted nothing more than a fresh cup of bean juice. All had received a mysterious summons from an organization known as The Clasp; though Sliver was concerned about this development, the others all seemed unsurprised to be there.
As they gathered, a woman entered who seemed far too frightened for the bright surroundings and was introduced as Dr. Dannell, who they had been instructed to meet. The group excused themselves upstairs to less spacious, but more private, surroundings - Ashrina's room at the Vagabond. There, the doctor admitted to being terrified of her benefactors, but with no other place to turn for help. A disgraced researcher in antiquities, she recently found a large stone on a dig - an egg, she claims, spawned by an eldrich horror. No one believed her, of course, and the egg was set to go on display at the Natural History Museum tomorrow. With one catch: tonight, it will hatch, and hundreds, if not thousands, would die. Conveniently, there was a gala opening for the exhibit that very evening, and the good doctor managed to procure tickets. She also offered to pay for new outfits so the group will fit in at the party. Not one to let a good deed go unrewarded, Ashrina also gave Dr. Dannell the opportunity to donate her bag of holding to the cause (of Ashrina having a sweet new interdimensional purse).
Spurred on mostly by curiosity and the Clasp's instructions, not to mention the promise of a swanky shopping spree, the group decided they will go ahead and save Emon after all, though they're not all convinced the egg is real. Sliver, for his part, isn't keen on the idea of killing a hatchling, even a freshly hatched eldrich horror. The professor's plan, as described, involved stealing the egg and then imprisoning it in a crystal that she just happens to have in her rooms. This will spare Sliver the moral quandary involved in killing something that has just hatched. He's also quite gratified that he's been summoned to steal something - he thought it was going to be something difficult.
After not deciding on a plan, the group headed for the Erudite Quarter to spend the good professor's hard earned money at Aura, a bespoke clothier. There they were greeted by the owner, the most fabulous kobold to walk the streets of Emon, and the group outfitted themselves with party attire after some haggling and paying a small fortune of someone else's gold for same-day service. All outfitted themselves well, but Sliver outdid himself in a purple jacket and green flared pants, intending to dress himself as a waiter for the gala and save the finery for another day.
On the way, the team decided that they were not going to steal the egg at the gala unless the perfect opportunity presented itself, and so Sliver's hopes of sneaking in as a waiter and walking out with the egg were dashed. After a quick walk around the block to find the museums' entrances and exits, they entered the museum and began admiring the exhibits on the ground floor. Garrick chatted up a bored museum employee in hopes of getting an in with the staff, learning of her side gig as a horror poet, while Kid found the staff entrances remarkably unsecure and Ashrina discovered a janitor exiting a secret room in one of the exhibit halls. Sliver purchased a museum badge from the gift shop, and promptly began bossing around the staff and escorting wealthy-looking patrons upstairs, not really listening to them except to glean information about the exhibit or any valuables on their persons. Tarlan, bemused, stayed behind to keep an eye on Sliver.
Finally, the group headed upstairs to where the exhibit would take place. Garrick headed directly for the privy-rooms to try and find a way to break the wall to get into the exhibit room with the egg. Tarlan examined the Allosaurus exhibit, found a panel, and asked Kid to take a look. Stealthily as can be, Kid opened the panel and found dials and levers, seemingly to control the dinosaur exhibit. Ashrina spotted a conveniently-placed and completely unsecured vent on the exhibit room wall. Not content with merely being extremely useful, she then snuck into the attic and unlocked the museum's skylight while Kid kept watch on...something else entirely.
The party began, with the curator opening the exhibit room and slipping the key into her clutch, which Kid noted she keeps to hand at all times. The group kept watch for signs of any party-goers under the influence of the egg's eldrich occupant, but saw nothing. Kid sidled up to the egg, finding the magical defenses on its pedestal. Garrick concerned himself with the doors, satisfied that the security mechanisms could be blocked with the furniture if need be. While Ashrina ate and drank merrily, Tarlan began speaking with a down-on-her luck noblewoman attending the party to find a suitable suitor. Noting Tarlan's suit from Aura, she seemed newly interested in his company, until Tarlan admitted that he doesn't regularly shop there and that parties makes him nervous. Sliver circulated, serving food and drinks to the patrons he'd scammed earlier and learning that the basement of the museum is full of valuable riches that no one does anything with. Ashrina, having seen the museum curator leave the room upon receiving a mysterious note, snuck after her, confirming both that the curator is a creepy doll enthusiast, and that she keeps the key to her office in her clutch.
At some point during all of this, Sliver left the party and wrote a vaguely threatening note to the curator on a bar napkin, reminding her that she's been warned of the consequences of putting the egg on display. He instructed a server to deliver the note, then removed his jacket and makeup and headed downstairs, away from the aftermath. As requested, the note was delivered, which the rest of the group saw the curator read and crumple up angrily. Tarlan then approached the curator, asking about the stone on display and insinuating that he'd seen something similar in a book. A book about eggs. Angrily refuting this assertion, the curator placed both hands on the stone, and a wave of energy rocked the room. Many party-goers became ill, including Ashrina, who broke out in a sheen and felt dizzy and weak momentarily. The chaos passed quickly, but it was enough for the curator to decide that in fact a gala opening for an eldrich horror was not a good idea and usher everyone out.
Back on the street, the group reassembled to ready themselves for the heist. But before anyone could say anything, Tarlan, staunch cleric of the Dawnfather and firm moral center of the group, held up the clutch he stole from the museum's curator during the commotion, and asked if anyone had forgotten their purse.

This describes what I do to make my bytecode interpreter faster. It stops short of using (tracing-)JIT methods, which I consider far too complex, and not pure. What I do below is always executing a bytecode at a time (although it may merge two into one), and never generates custom native code sequences for the input program.
Note that this is for a language with tagged dynamic types. I mention this because people usually omit this important detail! An interpreter for a static language can be trivially JITed, if for some reason you can't just use AOT compilation.
First here's a summary of the byte-code dispatchers I have used, in order of slower to faster:

Function-table -fn Use a table of function pointers, one per bytecode handler Switch-based -sw Use a giant switch operating on bytecode indices Label-table -lab Use a table of label pointers, ie. 'computed goto' ASM-based -asm Use inline assembly within a set of threaded-code functions, one per bytecode 

My 'bytecode' is actually a sequence of 64-bit values: a bytecode index, followed by 0-4 inline operands depending on instruction, so it is variable-length. However, for -fn -lab -asm dispatchers, the bytecode index is usually fixed-up to the address of the function or label. It is sometimes left as an index when debugging.
My -asm dispatcher was so effective that I eventually dispensed with the middle two, and now mainly use -fn and -asm. (However, when I sometimes transpile to C to take advantage of gcc-O3, that only supports -fn, as -asm is not portable. It turns out that -asm is usually faster than even using gcc-O3, and would be even if -sw -lab were available; it's not often that you can say that. See example timing below.)
(The -lab-style dispatcher is used in a separate interpreter project for static code, there it makes use of a special switch statement in my implementation language which creates a computed-goto without having to manually maintain jump-tables.)
The -fn dispatcher is ultra-simple, which is also why I prefer it for HLL-only code; here it is:

type fnptr = ref proc repeat fnptr(pcptr^)^() # ^ means pointer deref until stopped 

My ASM-based approach works well with low-level, integer-based algoriths; not so well on more typical scripting-type code using higher level data types. Fortunately my style of coding is the former: I like to use my scripting language for low-level tasks because it is nicer.
So, how much faster is -ASM? On suitable apps, it can be 2-3 times as fast as -FN. But on one task I checked today, it was 8 times as fast. This was to apply 8x8 blurring to a 2Mpixel colour image (not what you'd normally do in scripting code, but that's the kind of program I want to speed up):

 -fn 8 seconds -fn 5.6 seconds (transpiled to C then using `gcc-O3`) -asm 1 second 

The interpreter is in my 'M' language which does not have an effective optimiser (it exists, but only works when there are local variables involved; interpretation mainly involves globals). The middle timing is when the HLL-only version is transpiled to C.
Here, if the inner loops of the task are isolated, the difference is nearer 10:1 (6.2 seconds vs. 0.6 seconds).
Comparison with Python and Lua
HLL code (ie. using -fn) is on a par with those two languages when not JITed, and when testing the usually micro-benchmarks. But my language has quite a few features helpful in making low-level code efficient, such as compile-time named constants, and jumptable-based switch (those go together).
So when used for real programs, My Q language (I've forgotten to mention its name above) can be quite a bit faster, even before acceleration.
When the -asm dispatcher is used, then Q is even faster. Comparing -asm against PyPy, it is typically half the speed when testing typical benchmarks, but is still miles behind LuaJIT which can achieve C-like speeds.
With more substantial tests forever, then -asm is about the same as PyPy, and can just about match LuaJIT. Although this is based on 2 still smallish apps for Python, and 1 for Lua. Still, PyPy and LuaJIT use tracing-JIT methods; they will be executing customised native code. Mine is still a pure bytecode interpreter. PyPy in particular is big on loops, and can race head when loop counts are big enough.
How the ASM dispatcher works
The ASM dispatcher is an overlay applied on top of the normal, function-table-based HLL dispatcher. It started off like this:

• A bunch of threaded-code functons where created, one per bytecode, each mirroring the HLL handler
• During ASM dispatch, globals SP, PC and FP (frame pointer) needed for bytecode execution are kept in dedicated machine registers
• Initially, each ASM handler does nothing except call the HLL handler:
  • Save SP, PC, FP to globals
  • Call the HLL handler (which is responsible for stepping PC)
  • Reload SP, PC, FP to registers
  • Jump (not call) the next threaded-code function according to PC (its address is in PC⁾

At this point, the interpreter works as before, but it is not only just as slow as the FN dispatcher, but is even slower because of this extra overhead of the extra layer of functions, and saving/restoring those registers.
It is necessary to speed it up, which is done by gradually populating the ASM handlers, in one of three ways:

• (1) Do nothing. The op is too complex to do in inline ASM, so will always be a little slower (but such an op is slower anyway)
• (2) Do part of it in inline ASM, for example by checking for simple int or float operands, and dealing with this here. Otherwise it will abort and call the HLL version. Or an error is detected so it will again call the HLL which can handle that better.
• (3) The instruction is simple enough to do entirely here, such as unconditional jump.

So some ops will be faster then FN, some might be a bit slower; the hope is that there is a net benefit in performance, and that is generally the case.
Bytecode Combinations Another small improvement is to take two or sometimes three bytecode instructions that frequently occur in sequence, and combine them into a single bytecode, sometimes also avoiding using the stack. For example, push b; pop a becomes move a, b.
(Yes, my interpreter is not only stack-based, but it also manipulates 128-bit descriptors rather than the usual 64-bit one; it doesn't appear to suffer!)
But it can only do this for the few dozen I've hard-coded within the interpreter. This could be done in HLL-code too, but is not worth the trouble; if I want speed, I use -asm which is the default dispatch mode.
Further Improvements
The Q language has optional type annotations, left over from an abandoned version. If applied, there is scope to use even more specialised handlers, since I will know their types. However, using type annotations can also slow things down, since to use them safely, means lots more checking that the types of variables are what they should be, or needing to apply suitable conversions.
If I go this route, there is also the possibility of generating longer sequences of native code, synthesised at runtime and customised to the input program. But this is encroaching into JIT-terrority (not tracing-JIT since my approach would be done AOT before execution starts).
(My preference however, is to mark entire functions as ones to be translated to native code, which require annotations, and which are translated by some as-yet unknown means, possibly invoking my separate systems compiler. Or even just doing it manually via copy+paste, since the two languages have the same syntax.)
BTW here is the function at the centre of that image-blur task I mentioned above (it works by separating an RGB image into 3 8-bit images and doing one at a time then recomposing); it uses byte-pointers:

proc iblurhoz8(bm,n)= shift:=shifts{n,1} # convert 2,4,8 etc to 1,2,3 etc w:=bm.dimx h:=bm.dimy for y:=0 to h-1 do p:=bmgetrowptr(bm,y) to w-n-1 do sum:=0 q:=p to n do sum+:=q++^ od p++^:=sum>>shift od od end 

As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe that is NoP
Thank you to u/cruisingNW for proof reading and helping me out of some hang ups, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity! It's very good.
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Memory Transcription Subject: Christopher A. Dewey, Human Merchant Sailor, Venlil-Human Exchange Participant
Date [Standardized Human Time]: August 29th, 2136, Very Early Morning.
We got a message an hour ago from Videk, ordering us to report to Hangar-08 to start On-Stick training; and to bring our bags! I guess the guy had wanted to get as much out of the day as he could. That or he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
Videk met us at the doors to the hangar, a small travel bag sitting on the floor by his side, tail swaying slowly as he watched us approach. “Good Waking, Taisa. Good Waking… Christopher.” An improvement, I’ll have to ask Taisa about that talk they had.
“This,” He continued, motioning to the shuttle parked in the hangar behind him with his tail. “Is your training shuttle: registration C1-0V3R-HR-EX.Your first On-Stick training assignment will be to follow appropriate lift off and departure procedures, plot and follow a course to The Capitol on Venlil Prime, seek permission to land from the proper authorities, and land safely and legally following those permissions. All of this, while following proper procedure and regulations. All of this will be graded.”
As he speaks the door behind him slides open, revealing a broad hangar bay, heavy clamshell doors dominate the far wall. At the center of the bay sits a stout craft painted white and black, a pair of stubby wings jutting from its sides flowing into a pair of engines flanking a singular tail. Venlil script is painted at the root of the tail and on the top of the rear ramp.
“Upon arrival in the Capitol you will have some paperwork to do at the U.N. offices with regards to your habitation. I will need to pick up some equipment from the training facility at the landing fields. After our respective errands, let’s say half a claw, we will meet up back at the shuttle and from there you will be plotting an in-atmosphere route to Shadetree, Sunward of the Capitol, to drop me off and wait for me to install and calibrate the remote instructing equipment. Once that is completed, you will plot another in-atmosphere course to Heartwood River, concluding this paws evaluations. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head, and Taisa flicked her ears, in what I believed was a negative. “Very good, load your stuff and we’ll begin immediately.”
After a few minutes of finding places to tie off our belongings and get everything situated, I sat in the pilot’s seat and ran through the pre-flight check with Taisa. We caught a pair of faults in the starboard fuel delivery units. Videk seemed pleased we had caught them, and that he hadn’t had to tell us they were there. I could feel a slight smile tug at the corner of my mouth.
Devious little bastard makes for a damn good instructor.
Once the preflight was complete I closed the rear ramp and hailed the flight control tower. “Tower this is shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for departure, place us enroute to Venlil Prime with planned landing zone of Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo.” A Human voice came back over the line, a bit of mirth in their voice. “Shuttle, Tower, you are clear for departure, opening bay doors now. Good luck and Godspeed.”
The doors to the station hangar yawned open, filling the viewport with the void and all its stars beyond as I slowly brought the shuttle off the hangar floor, easing it out through the opening. I reached over to the nearest display and opened the Nav-computer interface, plotting our course to VP, and then on to the Capitol landing fields. Once I was confident I had the proper navigation commands and sequences set I called over Videk to have him review my work.
He gave me a quick flick of his tail before saying “Looks good, Christopher. Feel free to spool and jump when you’re ready.”
Videk’s approval given, I reached over and pushed forward on the throttles, engaging the drive and hurtling the shuttle into subspace.
It. Was. Beautiful. Everything seemed to stretch, stars in the distance turning from pinpricks of light into brilliant colorful streaks, lengthening as we bounded through the void. Lines of light far off in my periphery zip past like tracers as the ones before me feel as if they’re pulling me in with their kaleidoscope of color. The hum of the shuttle fell into the background while I became entranced by the light show in front me, picturing myself on the set of one of those old sci-fi shows I would watch with Pa on the weekends. The Future my ancestors had imagined was Here, right before my eyes and at the tips of my fingers! This view was… Hypnotic. The simulator couldn’t hope to do it justice.
Two hours. That was it.
Two hours to travel what, until very recently, would have been considered an insurmountable distance for Humanity. Dropping from Sub-space into the proximity of Venlil Prime was another astoundingly brilliant view. Scorched white deserts flowing into massive swathes of golden sands cut by the occasional streak of blue before blending into a beautiful verdant mix of turquoise and green fields, with vast lakes and rivers dotting the forests, flowing into wide marshy wetlands. Before finally, the curve of the planet fell away from its star, allowing the fading sunlight to showcase glittering city lights dotting the countryside.
The thrusters burn to life, crackling and thrumming with power as they drive us forward through the void to the beautiful marble before us. I flip two switches on the overhead, tapping the leftmost display to call up the local channel list and place a hail to the Capitol’s landing fields to request clearance and pad assignment. A quick ping, signifying my hail had been acknowledged, chimed over the console speaker.
“Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo this is Shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for landing at an available pad of convenience.” “C1-0V3R-HR-EX, you are cleared for landing, 13-Bravo, direct to pad Charlie-5.”
The Flight through the Void may have had some feeling of familiarity and nostalgia to the old Sci-fi shows at home; but in-atmo had the far better view! Rolling turquoise fields and towering thick trees, with their canopies tilted greedily towards that unmoving sun, falling away to a gargantuan metropolitan area, its architecture entirely alien yet still somehow familiar. Massive skyscrapers soar to touch the sky, reflecting light in brilliant angles and colors, the space below them populated by squat sturdy buildings and deep black roads. The Venlil going about their lives below look like ants as I ease off the throttle, taking the speed down to prepare for the final approach. The display on the viewport flags my landing area with a small pip guiding me in, slow and easy.
The cabin jostles slightly as the ship settles onto its landing gear. Videk seemed impressed; his ears up as he tapped away at his data pad! Taisa’s tail sways happily back and forth as she runs through the diagnostics of the landing, checking system status reports.
“Looks like we’re all clear. Videk do you have a time we should try and be back by?” Taisa beeps, showing the flight instructor the console in front of her.
“I just need to pick up the equipment and get it linked up, that should only take about a half a claw. Walking to and from the landing field and the U.N. Offices should put you at about the right time.” Videk turned away and made for the ramp; Taisa’s talk helped, and he was clearly trying, but he was still a bundle of nerves around me. His fur was so puffed out it looked like he was holding more static than a thunderhead.
As we stepped out of the artificial gravity of the shuttle I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My first step faltered making me stumble down the ramp and bounce off the… soft pavement? “Oh, forgot about that.” Videk winced sympathetically, “Our gravity is about twenty percent more than earth’s, so be careful. Falls are likely to hurt a little bit more here.”
“Would’ve been nice to know first, Videk.” I groaned, rolling myself over and sitting up, luckily the visor hadn’t fallen off; I would need to add one of those new back braces and some knee compressors to that order of stuff from home. “Do you know where the U.N. Offices are? Or should we just ask around to find our way there?”
“I do not, but you should be able to get directions on your pad. I trust the two of you can figure it out, so I’m going to go get the equipment I need. I will wait for the two of you with the shuttle once I am ready.” With a parting flap of his ears, Videk turned and walked away; flicking the tip of his tail back and forth as he did.
“Alright then,” I grumbled, forcing myself up off the pavement, swaying as I found my new equilibrium. “let’s get going. Can you pull up those directions?” She nodded slightly, flicking her ears forward. “Got them up already! You alright there?”
“I’m fine.” I grunted, rolling out my shoulder a little. “Feels like I weigh a quarter ton, but I’ll get over it with time. Lead the way.”
After a few minutes of walking we were off the landing fields and into the streets of the city. My boots sinking into the pavement a little with each step, just like on the landing field. “Taisa, what is this stuff? I figured it was just to make landings a little softer on shuttles but it’s everywhere! Looks like pavement but it gives like rubber; why are your roads like this?” “Anti-stampede concrete.” She stated, matter of factly, like that meant literally anything to me. My silence must have tipped her off that I wasn’t getting it as she focused one eye on my visor. “Oh… I guess Humans wouldn’t need that. It’s to help reduce stampede fatalities, it’s the same reason the roads and buildings have gentle curves, no sharp angles.” Looking around at the way the groups of Venlil flowed through the streets I realized she was right, what I had thought was a futuristic aesthetic design was just to keep people from killing each other against walls or trampling them into the ground when they got scared. How strange… and slightly worrying.
“Weird, that sounds like some crazy wonder material. Bet we’d have a bunch of uses for it back on earth.” My eyes watched the tips of skyscrapers towering above us, “How far out does it say we are?”
“Only a little further, about one and a half kilometers.” She responded, a slight pant in her voice. I wasn’t in the best shape, cardio wise, but I couldn’t imagine getting winded after 10 minutes of walking; guess all that talk about the Venlil having less stamina than us was right.
The U.N. Office complex was a series of giant flowing buildings built on a large park area. It wasn’t any design I had ever seen so I figured it had to have been an existing complex that just got turned over to the U.N. for their uses.
Passing through the heavy glass front doors we found a wide receptionist's desk, with several Humans sitting behind it, answering questions and directing people where they needed to go. One of the receptionists, a short dark haired woman with a visor obscuring her face, beckons us over. “Hello! How can I help you today?” “H-Hi!” Taisa beeps excitedly, her tail swaying behind her confidently as she takes a deep breath and straightens her back. “We’re part of the ‘integration’ experiments, we were told we need to fill out some forms for habitation. Where do we go to do that?” “Oh! Congratulations! That would be Suite 216-B” The receptionist answered, excitement in her voice as she pointed to a room on the map infront of her.
“Thank you!” Taisa responded, turning to head up the stairs behind the receptionist's desk. Halfway up the stairs she swiveled her ears over to me before saying. “Sorry, I figure if I’m probably going to have to work with Humans other than you for this I should try and at least work on being able to talk to them.” “It’s alright,” I chuckle, patting her shoulder. “That’s a great idea and you’re doing alright!” Walking down the hallways we saw prints of landscapes from Earth, Machu Picchu, the Uyuni Salt Flats, The Grand Canyon, YellowStone, Hạ Long Bay, The Zhangye Mountains and Plitvice Lakes. I pointed out the places I had been to as we walked past them, finally stopping at suite 216-B.
The door was open so we knocked, getting a quick ‘enter’, before stepping in. A man sits behind a desk, the top covered in organized files and folders, a placard on his desk declares his name as ‘Obediah Kamara’ with a small Liberian flag stamped beside it.
His visor obscures his face as he looks between the two of us before beginning. “I presume you are…” He sorts through a couple of the files and folders before stopping on one and opening it, pulling out a document packet. “Christopher Dewey and Taisa. Correct?”
We both respond in the affirmative as he gestures for us to take the seats across from him, sliding the documents across the table as Taisa’s pad pings on her belt. “These are agreements to ensure that you,” He starts, looking at me. “Understand the rules in regards to your habitation here on Venlil Prime. I understand that part of your integration will be taking you off world to and from Earth, these rules primarily apply to your time here. We ask that you remain considerate of the provided rules and guidelines on the ship if you are carrying Venlil passengers. Taisa, those are the terms, conditions, compensations and requirements for your family to house a human when the two of you are present. Virtual signature of that document is required within the next 3 of your ‘paws’.” Taisa stiffened a little bit, likely thinking about her Mother’s response to my arrival; that was something we were probably going to have to have a talk about later. I had an idea for the short term, at least. I ran through the paperwork real quick and it was all pretty simple: don’t be without the visor or some kind of face covering in settings where you couldn’t guarantee that an unprepared Venlil wouldn’t see you, avoid aggression, speak quietly, no eating meat, animal products or byproducts, no hunting local wildlife; bit odd considering I didn’t even have a bow or a gun but rules are rules, I suppose.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, signing the indicated portions of the document. “When are my items supposed to get here?”
“We don’t expect your requested items to arrive for another week or so, for now you’ll have to make do with what you brought with you.” Obediah responded, shuffling the packet of papers back into the folder they had come from. “With that complete you are free to go. I understand you have training to complete, so I wish you good luck with your endeavor. If you have any questions or needs with regards to your habitation you can contact Sam, their details will be forwarded to your communication devices.”
I caught Taisa’s tail twitching as her ears swiveled nervously out of the corner of my eye; even with her attempts to push through it I think the amount of Humans around was starting to get to her. Still, she was doing better than I think a lot of Venlil would be able to manage. I reached over, gently tapping my hand against her paw, trying to ground her a little before motioning to go, she nodded slightly as she flicked her ears.
“Thank you, Obediah, we’ll be sure to get into touch with them once we get their contact. Have a good day!”
Taisa and I stood, exiting the room and making our way out of the building, stopping to look at another picture or two along the way. Something needed to be done about possibly not having a place to stay to put my, and more so Taisa’s, mind at ease. I figured I could sleep in the shuttle, if I had to. It wouldn’t be particularly comfortable but I could certainly do it; I’d need a mat, maybe a sleeping bag or some blankets and a pillow.
I had no clue where I was going to get my hands on those, or at least a set of them big enough for me to actually use.
Then I saw the temporary units in the field near the offices. Men and Women in U.N. fatigues were milling about the area. Barracks? That could solve the problem, if they’re willing to help out a man in need, of course.
“Hey, Taisa, I need to make a stop real quick.” I state, walking briskly towards the largest of the buildings. “What’s up?” She asks, ears focused on me as she tilts her head a little.
“Well, I was thinking, I don’t think your parents, your Mom especially, won’t, uh… won’t want me around. At least not for a little while until she gets to know me better.”
“I think you can get past it, she’s not that bad… It’ll just be tough.”
“Oh I’m sure I can get past it, but I’d rather not just sleep in the grass in the meantime.” “I don’t think she’d make you sleep in the grass…” “I like being prepared, if she doesn’t want me in her house I’m not going to push the issue.”
“I just… I hope it doesn’t come to that, I’m not going to let her toss you outside like an animal.” She sighs quietly as we push through the front door of the barrack building.
A desk manned by a napping U.N. Marine with Private ranks stuck to his shoulders filled the space beyond the doors. He stirs as the doors clank shut behind us before scrambling to throw on his Visor as he notices Taisa.
“Hello, Uh… Can I help you? This area is for active U.N. personnel only.” He starts, his voice finding its authority only about halfway through the statement.
I stand straight, trying to muster the stern demeanor I’d found in my father and his friends so often when they tried to get something on base after their retirements. “Easy, Private. It has come to my attention that my accommodations lack proper bedding.” “O-Oh, uh, I apologize…” He stammers out, searching for something to say, likely looking to find a way out of trouble for sleeping on duty.
“Sir.” I state. “What’s your name, Private?”
“A-Alvarez, Sir.”
“Alvarez. I’ll remember that, Alvarez, how about we make this quick, you get me a wrap of blankets, 3 pillows and a bedroll and I don’t find your commander to report your… lack of enthusiasm.”
The private snaps to attention before firmly stating. “Yes Sir! I’ll be right back, Sir!”
As the private turns and walks away crisply I hear Taisa whistle with laughter a little beside me. “I’m surprised that worked.”
“You’d be surprised what a hard voice, straight back and the right slacking Private can get you if you just don’t go pushin' it too far in your story.” I whispered with a wink.
After a few minutes of waiting Private Alvarez returned with a duffle bag, stuffed full with blankets and pillows, as well as an inflatable bedroll under the other arm. “Here you go, Sir. Will this be ok?” He asked, passing the items over to me.
“Perfect, thank you Private.” I took the bundle of bedding and turned to the door, before turning my head back over my shoulder, “Oh, and Private? Do try and get proper rest before duty.”
A shaking “Y-Yes, Sir.” followed Taisa and I out of the door.
The first half of the walk back to the landing field was quiet, I was scanning the skyline again, I just couldn’t get over the fact that I was on another planet. Taisa however had her ears pinned back, her paws lightly holding her tail tuft as we walked.
“What’s got ya down?” I asked, watching the herd of Venlil glide around us as we came, trying their best not to get too close to me.
“I’m… concerned.” She sighed, the tip of her tail twitching between her paws.
“About?”
“My mother, what she’ll say… What she’ll do.”
“I can’t exactly say I know what her reaction’ll be… But, whatever it is we’ll just have to deal with it. It’ll probably take time, but we’ll get by.” I soothed. She let go of her tail, placing the tip of it on my back, but her ears didn’t let up at all.
The rest of the walk to the shuttle was quiet as she fidgeted with her paws, trying to take her mind off of the subject. Videk was there waiting for us, a few crates secured to the cargo area of the shuttle that weren’t present before.
“You two ready?” He asked, flicking his tail at us.
“I think so.” I responded, stowing the bedding in an empty compartment as Taisa flicked her ears.
We ran through our preflight checklist again, finding another pre-placed failure from Videk waiting for us, this time in the starboard control surfaces. Once the check was done we radioed the tower for clearance to take off and set an in-atmo course for Shadetree to drop off Videk. It was a short hop, about a half hour of flying or so before I had to call ahead for clearance to land again.
Most of the flight from the Capitol to Shadetree had been rolling turquoise and green hills or open fields of produce growing in the everpresent light. A sudden dense forest rose from the fields, thick dark brown trees with fluttering golden leaves stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. A sudden break in the forest revealed a clearing for the Landing field, much smaller than the one at the Capitol. The city was built under the canopy of the trees, giving it a constant filtered light casting down through the shifting leaves. It was certainly a beautiful town, I’d have to come back to visit some day. Maybe once Videk had warmed up to me a little bit more.
As the ramp fell ,a small cargo truck arrived alongside the shuttle to collect Videk and his equipment. I offered to help but the Venlil driver just about ran when I started talking so I figured it was probably best to just keep out of it. Once the cargo truck departed, Taisa came back up to the cockpit, plopping down in her seat, and looked through the viewscreen at the trees beyond. The soft hiss of the ramp closing marked the finality of Videk’s departure.
“So, how are you feeling about Venlil Prime so far?” She asked, one eye on my face as I finally slipped the visor off.
“I like it! Between the beautiful scenery, interesting architecture and hanging out with you and Shamrock, here I’m having a great time!” I responded, rubbing my hand on what amounted to the shuttle's dashboard.
“... Shamrock?” She asked, her tail swaying in what I figured for amusement.
“Yea! Remember how I told you Humans like looking for patterns? Well it works on words and numbers as well. The tail number for the shuttle could be taken to spell ‘Clover-HR-EX’, or just clover for short. Clovers are a type of plant on earth that a few cultures believed to be lucky, one way or another. One of the nicknames for them was a Shamrock!”
She laughed at me.
“You are such a dork.” She said, wiping a tear from her eye as her tail whipped back and forth. “It’s a good name, usually shuttles don’t get one. I think it fits.”
I chuckled, a thought crossing my mind. “Think we could get any shuttle-grade paint? Preferably green, yellow and black?” She raised an eyebrow at me as her ears cocked at different elevations. “Oh? Someone feeling a little artistic?”
“Well, I could always paint a Shamro-” I was interrupted as the ping signifying we were being hailed sounded off. “We’ll finish this later.” I said, pointing at her as I accepted the hail.
Videk’s voice bled through the speakers. “Ok, looks like the connection is secure. Let’s go ahead and run through getting you familiar with the software, it should be quick and easy.”
It was not.
It took two hours. After a lot of trial and error, stop and go flights to test the connection and a few near misses with an especially tall tree we had gotten the system setup such that Videk was confident it would work in an emergency if he needed to step in. With that all squared away Taisa and I settled in to get on our way to Heartwood River. Sleeping on the blow up mattress or on a real bed hardly mattered at this point, I just wanted to sleep.
The overall flight time was set to be about an hour and a half, not too bad and man was the view beautiful: rolling fields, roaring rivers, pristine skies and alien forests abounded across the countryside. We had just passed over Hidden Plains when Taisa and I were just settling back into talking about her parents and our best route to try and handle them, when the hail system chimed and immediately spat out a harsh tone without acknowledgement, the same one the simulator used for distress calls.
“Mayday Mayday Mayday. Report of shots fired at residence housing humans. Need immediate medical evac at The Berrypatch Farm in The Grove, 11 minutes Night-ward from Hidden Plains. Hailing all airborn craft, we need a medical evac immediately!”
I immediately returned the hail. “This is cargo shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX. Responding to Mayday from the Grove. We are en-route to render aid. Hold tight, we’ll be there.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taisa tighten her flight harness as I reached for the throttle.
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It's Friday and. Seiko is celebrating the 55th anniversary of the original Seiko 5.

What's new

1/
A Huge Seiko Day: Here’s A New 1968 Seiko 5 Inspired Limited Edition And Three Funky SKX Sports Style Watches
Seiko is celebrating the 55th anniversary of the Seiko 5 Sports watch. It’s a legendary affordable and robust watch, the start of many collections and an instant trigger for memories of childhood. To celebrate the anniversary, Seiko is looking back into its childhood, back to the original Seiko 5 Sports, and uses the five key characteristic of the collection - an automatic movement; a day-date display in a single aperture at 3 o’clock; water-resistance; a recessed crown at 4 o’clock; and a robust steel case and bracelet or strap - to reissue this versatile timepiece.
The limited-edition watch Seiko is launching now is pretty much the exact same watch. A 39.5mm brushed tonneau-shaped steel case, 12.5mm thick, signature half-moon scalloped areas at noon and 6 o’clock and a crown tucked into the case. The respect of the original dial is carried over to the dial as well. The black dial has a silver peripheral track and the same applied bar indices treated with Lumibrite, just like the hands. Almost identical to the 1968 model, the original Seiko 5 logo is transferred in silver at noon, the day and date window uses a very similar frame to the original, the baton-style hour and minute hands are treated with Lumibrite and the lollipop central seconds hand is red.
Inside the watch is Seiko’s automatic 4R36 calibre, an in-house movement that has long proved its reliability and sturdiness and has a 41 hour power reserve. The Seiko 5 Sports 55th Anniversary Limited Edition SRPK17 is numbered on the caseback out of 15,555 that will be produced and will be available in July 2023 at Seiko Boutiques and select partners worldwide. It’s priced at EUR 410.
But there are more tributes to be seen today. The ‘68 Seiko 5 Sports inspired a number of models over the years, but perhaps the most iconic line was the SKX, Seiko’s line-up of affordable bulletproof dive watches that now appear in the brand’s newly restructured collection in the SKX Sports Style segment. Although the three models pick up on the vibrant colour schemes of 1969 Seiko 5 Sports models, they are housed in the legendary SKX case with crown and guards at 4 o’clock and the unidirectional rotating bezel. The 100m water-resistant case measures 42.5mm, has a thickness of 13.4mm, features a see-through caseback to view Seiko’s automatic 4R36 calibre and is fitted with a three-link stainless steel bracelet.
Apart from the obvious colour variations on the dial, all three models have different bezels and flanges. The SRPK09 has a silver dial combined with a black and silver unidirectional rotating bezel the SRPK13 has a black dial and bezel with red and silver markings and a sloping flange in blue and green, while the loudest model is the orange SRPK11 with its black bezel, two-tone orange and black flange and a thick black band traversing the dial from 3 to 9 o’clock.
The three new and colourful references are not limited in production and will be available at Seiko Boutiques and retail partners worldwide in September 2023. The retail price is EUR 350.
2/
Ulysse Nardin Celebrates World Ocean Day With Two New Divers - Net Azure And Diver X Skeleton Azure
June 8th is World Ocean Day and to mark this occasion, Ulysse Nardin is introducing a new azure colorway to the Diver Net and Diver X Skeleton models. UN has for years maintained a very strong stance towards preserving the environment with the use of recycled and upcycled materials, and these two timepieces follow this concept in a non-limited addition to the brand’s catalog.
The Diver Net Azure is a 44mm wide and 14.81mm thick watch that’s made of 95% recycled stainless steel. The side case and case back ring are made of 60% Nylo and 40% Carbonium, just like the bezel. Since it’s a diver, the 300 meter water resistance is expected. The watch has a domed sapphire crystal and underneath it a black sand-blasted dial. On the dial is a huge Azure X that frames the power reserve at 12 and running seconds at 6. Inside the watch is the UN-118 Manufacture caliber, an automatic with 50 jewels, a Silicon balance spring, and a DiamonSil escapement wheel and anchor.
Then there’s the Diver X Skeleton Azure. Just as big, but chunkier at 15.7mm, the watch has a DLC coated titanium case and an x-shaped skeleton dial with polished and satin finishes. At 12 o’clock you can see the Carbonium barrel cover of the UN-372 Manufacture caliber and an oversized silicon balance wheel is situated at 6. Both watches come with azure-blue rubber straps.
The Diver Net Azure will retail at €12,700, and the Diver X Skeleton Azure for €26,800.
3/
Indian Microbrand Bangalore Watch Company Releases Apogee Manzinus & Earthshine To Celebrate India’s Unmanned Moon Missions
Bangalore Watch Company has carved out a very interesting niche. The Bangalore-based indie brand is focusing on celebrating notable achievements from India. Recent examples include the MACH 1 which focused on the Indian Air Force MiG 21 and Cover Drive which highlighted India’s most popular sport, Cricket. Now, they are focusing on space with the Apogee collection that celebrates India’s space program and the focus is on two unmanned moon missions – Chandrayaan-1 and Chandrayaan-2.
The original Apogee watches launched in 2019 with titanium cases, but the new Manzinus and Earthshine models use stainless steel with a ceramic outer layer of Cerakote. Both cases are 40mm in diameter and 12mm thick, with the main difference between the two being color - Manzinus is white and Earthshine is grey. There are two knurled crowns at 2 and 4 o’clock – the former screws down and rotates an internal bezel, while the latter (push/pull) adjusts the time and date.
The two watches also have dials that differ in color - brown on Earthsine and black on Manzinus. While Earthshine is very true to the original Apogee watch, with a round date window at 6 o’clock, Manzinus has a 9mm disc in lieu of the date of the Muonionalusta meteorite. Inside the watch is a standard grade Sellita SW200-1 automatic. Both versions of the watch come with color matching leather straps.
The Earthshine retails for USD 1,100, while the Manzinus is USD 1,470. Not cheap for a microbrand you might not have heard of before, but also consider that you get a Cerasteel case and interesting design.
4/
American Indie Brand Vero Teams Up With Worn & Wound To Offer Up Their Entry For A Great Summer Watch
ADPT, a subsidiary of Worn&Wound that makes straps, watches and accessories, is known for making colorful and playful all-purpose watches. Vero, a US-based microbrand, is known for making rugged tool watches. Mash them together and you get the crazy Vero Workhorse Chronograph - huge, bold and ready for the summer. This will be a polarizing watch, for sure.
The steel case measures 44.5mm wide and 13.5mm thick, but this size is only appropriate for a watch so boldly colored. It gets a bright aqua blue Cerakote treatment finished with flecks of white and bright yellow bezel guards that the brand calls bullhorns. The same blue can be found on the dial and the running-seconds sub-register at 9 o’clock, while the hour and minute hands are painted in brighter blue to contrast with and match the dial. Lastly, the internal rotating bezel shows an alternation of red and blue accents, and the seconds hand as well as the bumpers holding the Cerakoted shroud in place are painted in bright yellow
The standard controls are on the left case side while the crown at two o'clock rotates the internal timing bezel. Inside is the Miyota 62S1 quartz chronograph movement, which offers 1/4 second resolution and a 60-minute maximum measure for the chronograph. This is is basically a chronograph diver, something also possible thanks to the 120m depth rating. To complete the package, the crystal is sapphire, and the Workhorse comes on a white nylon strap with a Velcro closure.
The Vero x ADPT Workhorse is limited to just 100 units and at the time of writing there are still pieces available on the Worn&Wound store and you can get one if you like it for $499.
5/
Rudis Sylva Radically Simplifies The Harmonious Oscillator With The RS 23, It’s Still Very, Very Expensive
A small independent watchmaker located in the Swiss village of Les Bois, Rudis Sylva recently unveiled its latest creation. What sets Rudis Sylva apart is its Harmonious Oscillator. The brand now introduces the RS23, featuring a simpler version of this unique oscillator, now without a rotating carriage. This simplification also brings down the price significantly. But it’s still an outrageously priced watch.
Truly unique in its kind, the Rudis Sylva Harmonious Oscillator comprises of two balance wheels. As a rule, watchmakers avoid any potential stress on a balance wheel for it to breathe freely. In this case, the two balances are toothed and thus mechanically interlinked. The first balance is driven by the escapement, and in turn, it drives the second balance, rotating it in the opposite direction, but with the same amplitude while each hairspring breathes in an opposite way. The underlying idea is that these constantly opposed balances ensure immediate mutual correction of the potential negative effects of gravity.
Unlike previous versions of the Rudis Sylva Harmonious Oscillator, the regulator is not placed in a rotating carriage. This has allowed building the movement architecture in a symmetrical way with twin barrels creating a counterpoint to the balance wheels. And instead of an off-centred hour and minute display, we have a central indication of the hours, minutes and seconds. A stop-second mechanism allows for precise settings. It beats at a frequency of 3Hz and it boasts a 70h power reserve.
The beauty of a movement is housed in a 44mm titanium or pink gold case that has no bezel and a domed sapphire crystal to show of the movement as much as possible. The watch comes on an alligator strap with a pin buckle.
The Rudis Sylva Harmonious Oscillator RS 23 is released in two limited editions of 8 pieces in titanium and 8 pieces in pink gold. The price is set at CHF 80,000 in titanium and CHF 90,000 in 18k pink gold. A crazy price, yes, but consider the fact that the more complicated Harmonious Oscillator RS16 is priced at CHF 250,000.
6/
Record Breaking Omega Turns Out To Be Frankenwatch Planted By Former Head of Omega Museum In Shocking Insider Scam
For a couple of days now the internet has been talking about an explosive report from the Neue Zürcher Zeitung which claims that the tropical Omega Speedmaster CK2915 that fetched 3.3 million US dollars at auction, obliterating records for the most expensive Omega ever sold, is, in fact a Frankenwatch. A watch put together out of mostly original parts to create the perfect CK2915 so that it would fetch the highest price.
However, those who follow the brilliant Joze Pereztroika over at Perezcope, have already known there is something seriously wrong with this watch since April. Now that the scheme to sell a fake watch has unraveled, the truth of what happened, or at least what we know so far, is so deeply shocking that it will likely bring huge changes to not only how watches are auctioned and authenticated, but also to manufacturer’s museums and their hunt for important vintage watches.
According to an Omega statement, “as it stands at present, there are three former employees (among them the former Head of OMEGA Museum and Brand Heritage), who have admitted to the run of events when confronted during an OMEGA internal investigation, which is active and ongoing”. Let that sink in. Three Omega insiders conspired to create a watch that the head of Omega Museum would end up bidding on at the record price.
Fratello writes that “although the three former Omega employees were not the sellers of the watch, they did play a role in modifying the Speedmaster to become a “perfect” reference CK2915. The Speedmaster CK2915 was assembled from various partially authentic parts. The three former Omega employees participated in this process, intending to create the most exciting CK2915, a watch that the Omega Museum would definitely need.”
This is an absolutely bonkers story. Please head on over to the Fratello article to learn more about it and how it will affect not just the prices of Speedmasters, but also the entire industry. And definitely head on over to the Perezcop to read how the fake Omega can be identified.
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On hand - a selection of reviews

1/
A review of the Longitude from the Belgian brand Gavox
2/
Hands-On with the new Nezumi Aviera - a GMT that turns up the tool volume
3/
Monochrome gets their hands on the BOLDR Pokemon collection sold only in Singapore, Thailand or Hong Kong
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Watch Worthy - A look at an offbeat, less known watch you might actually like

The Cincinnati Concourse continues the brand’s commitment to local history
The Cincinnati Watch Co. Concourse is perhaps the most faithful recreation of a clock in a wristwatch (an admittedly niche market). The 38mm stainless steel case is likely to be divisive: blocky without mitigation, it is the result of taking the concourse clock and getting as close to it as possible. The clock featured a cushion bezel with a bowed square around it. This was translated to the wrist perfectly, with alternating brushed and polished surfaces distinguishing the different facets of the design.
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People loved the Seiko Alpinist giveaway! That's why I'm doing a new one. This time, we're giving away four Hamilton Khaki Field Automatics in a color of your choice. Head on over to the newsletter if you would like to enter.
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The next time you cook bacon: make sure to strain the grease through a sieve and save it. Get some type of country style loaf that can be cut in thick slices and heat a pan to melt the bacon fat - like a tablespoonish. Sandwich bread might work but it's really thin and a big part of this meal is the thickness of the country loaf that you slice yourself. Toast the bread in the pan and once it's nicely caramelized on both sides - about 3-5 minutes - wrap it in aluminum foil. This will cause it to slightly soften so you don't eviscerate your mouth when you bite on crusty bread. Cook some well seasoned eggs on low heat in that pan and keep stirring so large curds don't form. If you want to add cheese here, go for it. Don't make it overpowering though. Put the eggs on the toast and devour. It's one of those dishes where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. If you want some crunch, top with finely chopped white/green onion or chives. I've been making this off and on for like a month and mamma mia it has no business being this good for what it is.
tl;dr pan fried bread in bacon grease and topped with creamy eggs is dummy delicious.

Hey all, wanted to post for 2 reasons: to provide a record of my weekly updates on this WOE for my own accountability, and to give information to the community about what is working for me and what isn't. I am willing to discuss anything mentioned below in greater detail.
Background: American, 34F, 5'4, SW 212 (bra size 36DD (it's a little small tbh), men's Levi's size 38x30). I have tried this diet in the past but was never really strict enough...I still included things like salsa, avocadoes, condiments, hard alcohol, and way too much cheese. This time around, I'm a lot more committed to the pure basics and not so interested in finding ways to softly cheat. Part of the reason for this is also to address what I feel is a growing problem with alcohol (regularly consuming 6+ drinks per day). I have a high stress job and have been moderately depressed/anxious but unmedicated since my teen years. I recently went through the ending of an 8-year relationship as well and a move. I smoke cigarettes rarely and cannabis even more rarely, but they are both on the table for me still. Beyond weight, mental health, and alcohol abuse (my primary concerns), I hope to address stubborn acne, reactivity to poison oak and sunburn, knee and shoulder pain from old injuries, and menstrual symptoms. I currently supplement with a women's multivitamin, lysine, and krill oil...whether I continue these after I run out remains to be seen. I am not on hormonal birth control or any rx meds.
Week 1 (June 1-7): Meals consisted mostly of 80/20 ground beef, with pork sausage, bear sausage, linguica, ribeye steaks, bacon, butter, smoked salmon, cream cheese, turkey breast, and a few eggs mixed in. The first day I tried dousing everything in my normal serving of hot sauce, which was a big mistake as I found out that night and the next morning. Since then I have just used salt, pepper, and garlic powder if I feel like it. I have been decreasing the salt over my normal amount. I eat once or twice a day, so far it has been somewhere between 1-2# of meat total (not much of a measurer).
I have noticed my sleep is better in some aspects and a lot worse in others. When I was drinking, I would fall asleep easier, but wake up with heartburn, anxiety, a headache, or some combination of hangover symptoms. I do not have any heartburn anymore after the first couple days, but I wake up every hour or so and have a much harder time falling asleep. I think this could be attributed to more than just dietary changes.
I have also noticed my mood is much more stable, notably, I am not as sad. I still feel stress and anger at times, but I don't wake up with a pit of dread and I feel less "hopeless." In fact, I had the motivation to attend a yoga class for the first time in years. The caveat with this is, I live in a rainy/foggy coastal climate, and my mood generally improves around the start of summer.
I have not had any alcohol since starting. I have been drinking a LOT of LaCroix and just plain water, as well as drip coffee, espresso, and green tea (all straight, no milk of any kind). This has certainly been challenging, but I feel that combining my carb and alcohol cravings and addressing them together has so far proven more effective than trying to separate them. I have tried to stop or cut back on drinking many, many times and have not had what I would consider success for many years. The interesting thing is, I'm not experiencing crazy sugar cravings like I have in the past with quitting drinking. I may also cut back on coffee as I don't feel as sluggish in the morning once I actually get out of bed.
I have lost 7# and some pants I couldn't even get on last week now button up easily. The fat roll on my back is almost gone, and my face looks better (acne is still there, I attribute that to stress and the detox from drinking). My overall body comp has always tended to be a bit musculadense.
This next week (June 8-14), I plan to introduce 48-72 hour fasts in the mix, mostly over weekends when my stress and activity levels are a bit lower. I attempted a 24-hr fast around day 4, and found that I was just so stressed out from work that I couldn't possibly bear the additional stress of not eating. I am trying to get back in tune with my body, I have neglected it for a long time and even put on the weight as a subconscious protection measure...a different topic. I also plan to reintroduce a light weightlifting regimen, I've lifted on and off since my teen athlete days. I might attempt a run or long bike ride as well. I plan to eat more ground beef, as well as bacon, elk steaks, ground bear, pork steaks, and smoked salmon or canned sardines. I think I might try the "gallon of water a day" thing and see how that goes.
The main takeways this week: greatly increased mood and outlook, more optimism rather than pessimism, no heartburn, better digestion, and better mornings.

Mostly worked with Traeger, Weber, Big Green Egg, Blackstone, Ooni, and Charbroil. Did most all the ordering, repairs, demos, talks with reps, etc.

Selling stuff for money. Bundle deals are absolutely welcome and appreciated. Prices were pulled from pricecharting & verified with recent, like-condition sold eBay listings.
Game Boys

• Game Boy Color: Full mod treatment: New aftermarket atomic purple shell, purple membranes, transparent green buttons, slider and IR sensor. Q5 IPS v2 with brightness/screen controls via touch pad at the top of the console. Pics $175
  
• Game Boy Color: Full mod treatment: New aftermarket white shell, black buttons, Q5 IPS screen. Pics $170
  
• Game Boy Advance SP: Aftermarket screen (I honestly don't remember which one I put in here), shell, buttons, and battery. Pics $175
  
• Game Boy Advance: Indigo, dropped in an AGS-101 screen and used the original housing, but replaced the lens. Pics $175
  

PlayStation Games & Consoles Take all the PS2 games for $180$130, take all the PS3 games for $58$40

Title	Console & Notes	Price
Console PlayStation 2 Slim SCPH-90001	Loose	Comes with OEM A/V, OEM black controller & a power cord. Tested & works great. Feel free to include any 5 of the $4 & less games for this purchase price. $90
Console PlayStation 3 CECHE01	Mostly complete in box in quite nice condition 80GB backwards-compatible console, never been opened (original thermal paste, so take that as you will), reset to factory default at software 4.81. Comes with original box (matching serial number to console in decent condition, some wear, tear on the bottom corner), instructional inserts, cardboard inserts, Sixaxis OEM wireless controller (no mini USB cable unfortunately), power cord (no HDMI). Pics	$400
American Chopper	PS2	$5
Arctic Thunder	PS2	$5
Cabelas Big Game Hunter 2005 Adventures	PS2	$3
Call of Duty: Finest Hour	PS2	$4
Call of Duty: Finest Hour (Greatest Hits)	PS2	$4
Conflict Desert Storm 2	PS2	$7
Crash n' Burn	PS2	$5
Eragone	PS2	$4
Flatout	PS2 (loose)	$4
Flatout	PS2	$7
The Getaway	PS2	$5
The Getaway (loose)	PS2	$3
Guitar Hero 2	PS2	$10
Hitman 2 (Greatest Hits)	PS2	$8
IHRA Drag Racing 2	PS2	$3
Jet Li Rise to Honor	PS2	$4
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Greatest Hits)	PS2	$4
Madden 07	PS2	$4
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater	PS2 (loose)	$8
MX Unleashed	PS2	$5
MX vs ATV Unleashed	PS2 (loose)	$5
NBA 2K9	PS2	$3
Pop Cap Hits Vol 1 Bejeweled & Astro Pop	PS2	$4
Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (Greatest Hits)	PS2	$8
Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal	PS2	$10
Smackdown! vs. Raw	PS2	$10
Smuggler's Run	PS2	$5
SRS Street Racing Syndicate	PS2	$5
Starsky & Hutch	PS2	$5
Strike Force Bowling	PS2	$4
Tetris Worlds	PS2	$5
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 02	PS2	$3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 05	PS2 (loose)	$3
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06	PS2	$3
TOCA Race Driver 2	PS2	$5
Tom Clancy Ghost Recon	PS2	$4
Tom Clancy Splinter Cell	PS2	$4
Trigger Man	PS2	$3
World Championship Poker	PS2	$5
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3	PS3	$5
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Base game with map)	PS3	$10
Grand Theft Auto IV	PS3	$8
Killzone 3	PS3 CIB	$5
Little Big Planet Greatest Hits	PS3	$5
Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe Greatest Hits	PS3	$8
Rocksmith	PS3	$5
Rock Band 2	PS3	$8
Sports Champions	PS3	$4
Rock Band 4: Rivals	PS4 - Includes unredeemed Rivals code	$65

Nintendo Games & Consoles

Title	Console & Notes	Price
Skylanders Trap Team/Swap Force/Lego Dimensions	Wii U Bundle - CIB	$10
Hip Hop Dance Experience	Wii (loose)	$25 Yeah, I know
LEGO Star Wars The Complete Saga	Wii	$5
Price is Right	Wii (loose)	$3
Spongebob Squarepants: Creature from the Krusty Krab	Wii - CIB	$10
Super Smash Bros Brawl	Wii Pics	$10
Wii Play	Wii	$5
Wii Sports	Wii	$15
Horsez	NDS CIB	$4
Imagine Fashion Designer	NDS CIB	$4
MahJong Quest	NDS CIB	$4
My Farm: Around the World	NDS CIB	$4
Mario Kart 7	3DS (loose)	$10
Quad Desert Fury	GBA CIB	$5
Lion King	SNES	$8
Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster Busts Loose	SNES	$10
Accessory Wavebird DOL-004	NGC - No receiver, no battery back cover, tested & works well	$20
Accessory Lot of GBA(SP) Parts	As is - no motherboards. Tons of buttons, OEM shells, etc. See photos for details.	$100

Xbox Games Take all for $18$10

Title	Console & Notes	Price
Grand Theft Auto IV	X360 - Platinum Hits	$10
MLB 2K9	X360 - CIB	$3
NBA 2K12	X360 - CIB	$5

Cases *No games, just cases & inserts on games that originally had them.

Title	Console	Notes/Price
Kirby Star Allies	NS	$4
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe	NS	$4
Splatoon 2	NS	$4
Super Mario Party	NS	$4
Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions	3DS	(Red case, some liquid marking on the artwork) $10

Shipping costs are not included in prices and will be calculated based upon location. Thanks for looking!

Hi all. I’m about to do an interstate with movers and I wanted to see what you all think about my strategy for protecting my Classic I.
I took out all the guts and carefully wrapped and padded them and boxed them.
For the main piece, I was going to wrap it in moving blankets, wrap it in plastic wrap to secure the padding, and then try to ratchet strap it down onto a shipping pallet. Then movers can put pallet on truck. So nothing will be touching it.
Problem is there’s nothing good on the Joe to secure the straps to. If I just throw the straps over the top, they’ll slide off. I could strap to the handle and the rear hinge, but I’m afraid of damaging those through the strength of ratchets.
Another idea is to put a box on top of the joe and strap that down, because the boxy shape will be easier to grab on to. The biggest box I can find though (packaging from a big green egg, haha) won’t fit over the top unless I remove the Joe’s handle and the little brackets that the side-racks attach to. Is it safe to remove those things?
Any ideas would be appreciated.
Thanks!

This article is not my original creation. It was from "Mysterious Universe" website. Unfortunately the site has since been taken down. I was able to find the wayback machine (internet archive backup) for this article. However it is not a reliable permanent solution, hence I decided to post the duplicate here as well.
https://web.archive.org/web/20210507065339/https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2019/08/bright-colors-strange-entities-and-baffling-vanishings/
Content of the original article:

Bright Colors, Strange Entities, and Baffling Vanishings

Brent Swancer

August 7, 2019

There are numerous cases throughout history of people just seeming to step off the face of the earth to vanish into thin air. We are usually left with only scattered clues, grasping at theories as to what has happened to these unfortunate souls, but in some cases it appears that there is a correlation of sorts. Throughout a great number of these accounts of people who have seemingly blinked out of existence there is the simple but nagging clue that they were wearing brightly colored clothing. It seems to be at first a meaningless quirk, but the number of reports of the mysteriously vanished and bright articles of clothing has increasingly become something that can’t be easily ignored, although the answers as to why might be forever elusive.
A very strange case popped up on Whitley Streiber’s site, Unknown Country, concerning a witness calling himself Alan Lamers and his very unusual, otherworldy story. Lamers claims that he was working on the island of Sulawesi in Indonesia, which is where it first came to his attention that a great many people were said to have gone into the jungles of the area to vanish without a trace. He was first told about this as he visited a small speck of a village in the district of Sandu Batu, in South Sulawesi, where he was warned to only wear clothing that was white or black in color, with no bright colors whatsoever. In particular he was warned not to wear anything that was yellow, and that black was the best one to go with. Odd indeed, but it would get odder still.
When Lamers pressed as to why he should not wear bright colors or anything with yellow on it, the villagers told him that people who did so had a bad habit of disappearing off the face of the earth. Weirder still, sometimes the people would reappear dazed and confused, not remembering anything of their strange incident and missing the articles of clothing with the offending colors. As to why, the villagers had no explanation. After hearing of this, Lamers and his companions warily wore all black when they trekked out into the jungle to investigate some alleged illegal logging in the area, but one of the men apparently broke the rules, and he explains:

One of my friends, who is a Bugis-Makassar, didn’t listen or understand the warning and wore yellow socks. We did our tour and returned. He was strangely quiet. That night he became extremely ill. I had never seen a person projectile vomit that hard. He had an extreme fever also. We nursed him and about a day later he returned to his healthy self. Then he told us what happened. He said something had bitten him on his right legs calf and then his thigh. He showed us the marks. They were huge scratches. He said he could not see what was attacking him. He said he did not want to tell us what happened because he was embarrassed. The villagers stood around us with these knowing looks while we looked at the marks. they said he was very lucky. Usually people disappear. I was stunned.

What was going on here, and what in the world does the color yellow have to do with it? It is unclear, but Lamers claims that he would get at least some theories during his stay. He tells the account of a woman friend of his whose brother had gone hiking in the mountains along with four others, after which they all vanished. After an intensive search finally the brother was found, alive but in a dazed state and looking undernourished and skeletal. When asked about what had happened to them the brother said he could not remember, but whatever it was had obviously and visibly traumatized him. No trace of the others was ever found. Lamers asked his friend what she thought had happened to them, and he says of her response and his reactions to it:

She said it was the Jin. Jin is Arabic for demon. She said many many people have disappeared in the mountains because of the Jin. I asked my engineer friend who I worked with about this early today. He said it happens often and reminded me of Wala Wala the village we had gone to. Entire cultures have developed around this problem. They wear only black because they believe this allows them to travel through the jungle undetectable by whatever it is that takes these people. There is something taking these people Whitley. Something terrible and evil in Sulawesi. The people of Sulawesi have come to terms with it and have tried to adapt themselves to deal with whatever it is. It has gone on long enough to bend culture. I will continue to investigate what this is.

Is that what this was? A Jin? This makes sense considering that the population of the region is around 85% Muslim, but could there be any other explanation? He apparently did follow up on all of this, managing to get more information out of the locals, as well as from the lone survivor from that doomed trek as his memory came trickling back to him about that fateful hike. However, his story seems to make no real sense, and is so bizarre it leaves more questions than answers. Lamers tells Strieber of this additional information:

I found out he kept seeing what the Bugis call Jin Kurcaci. It means little demon people. These things do what is called “penculikan” or abduction. No one knows why they do this. But sometimes the people come back after a bit. The people or creatures who do this have a small nose and their eyes are small and black, but their mouths are very broad and when they smile it is very large compared to the rest of their face. He could not remember the color of their skin. I asked for a picture to be drawn. He managed a crude happy face with a nose consisting of a single line and a huge grimace.
The boy was the only one who could see them out of the five. He kept seeing a lot of them but when he would try to show the others one of the four who disappeared could see them. He also saw a strange animal he could not recognize. These animals are the size of a horse with huge antlers. He said he saw herds of them. He could not understand where they came from or why there were so many. They not an animal indigenous to the area. There is no such known animal that big in Sulawesi. Apparently this is a widespread problem.

Is this Jin, some sort of evil forest people, or just folklore? What is the significance of the colors and why must people wear black? Does this somehow draw these forces in, and maybe they are attracted by these colors? It is very interesting to note that some of the most bizarre vanishings on record are theorized to have had some link to bright colors, according to missing persons investigator David Paulides, author of The Missing 411 series of books.
Paulides has researched strange vanishings all over the world and has compiled a sort of list of criteria that seem to be common to many of the cases. Examples include people disappearing practically right under the noses of nearby friends or family, bodies turning up without shoes or proper outdoor clothing, children who have gone missing only for their bodies to turn up in inaccessible areas where they could not possibly have climbed to on their own, belongings or clothing left behind often neatly folded or arranged, bodies that have turned up in areas that have already been thoroughly searched or are out of reach, and people who have disappeared without leaving a single scrap of evidence behind. There are also the fact that many of these disappearances seem to happen near bodies of water or where berries happen to be growing, that with bodies which are found the cause of death is often unclear or difficult to determine, that there is a lack of tracks, and that search dogs often cannot pick up the scent or are led to places such as sheer walls where no one could reasonably scale. Often people who were with the missing explain that they just happened to get separated somehow without being able to pinpoint when or how. Then there is the curious detail that many of the vanished just so happened to have been wearing bright colors.
This has been seen in many vanishings covered by Paulides, with perhaps the most well-known being the disappearance of 6-year old Dennis Martin. On June 14, 1969, Dennis was on a camping and hiking trip to the Great Smoky Mountains when he and his family stopped off at a grassy mountain highland meadow and popular stop-off point along the Appalachian Trail know as Spence Field. As the adults sat out on the grass chatting, Dennis, his brother, and two other boys on the trip thought it would be amusing to play a prank on their parents. They decided that they would split up, go out into the woods, and then simultaneously jump out from different directions to startle the adults in what was meant to be just harmless fun.
Three of the boys went one way and Dennis, who was the youngest, went the other. The reason he had been chosen to be on his own was that he was wearing a highly visible bright red shirt. This is something to remember in relation to this article, the bright colors. Just as planned, the three older boys jumped out and scared the adults, but then the men asked where Dennis was. Since the other boys had seen him just a few minutes earlier, they assumed that he had merely missed his cue and so they waited for him to jump out of the trees as well, but he never appeared.
Dennis’ father, Bill Martin, went out to get his son, expecting that he would be there hiding in the bushes as he had been instructed, but an immediate search of the area showed no signs of the boy, and calls into the woods went unanswered. Increasingly worried, Bill and Dennis’ grandfather, Clyde Martin, hiked out in different directions farther and farther from the place where the boy had last been seen and still they found nothing. Park Rangers were notified and a search was launched that would last until nightfall, when heavy rain began to come down along with thunder, which hampered efforts to find the boy and the search was called off until the following day with still no trace of where Dennis had gone off to.
In a rather ominous twist, a mere hours after Dennis had gone missing a family named the Keys reported that they had been hiking around 6 miles from Spence Field when they had heard a boy’s scream. The son also claimed to have seen movement in a bush which he at first had thought to be a bear, but turned out to be a man walking in the woods with something apparently slung over his shoulder. As spooky as this may seem, authorities determined that the location was too far away from Spence Field to have possibly have anything to do with Dennis within the time frame of events.
In the following days the search efforts would quickly grow in size to hundreds of people scouring the area, including park rangers, locals, volunteers, the FBI, National Guard, and even Green Berets and psychics, along with bloodhounds and helicopters, and meanwhile the news of the disappearance had started making major national headlines. Since Dennis was described as a robust, healthy boy with plenty of hiking experience it was thought that he was alive and would be found in short order, but continuing heavy rains flooding roads, as well as thick fogs, made efforts difficult. For their part, Dennis’s parents posted a hefty reward for any information leading to finding their son. Dennis Martin has never been found, and not a trace of what happened to him has ever been uncovered. Interestingly, this all fits several of Paulides’ criteria, including the brightly colored clothing.
Similarly there is the case of 4-year-old Alfred Beilhartz, who in the summer of 1938 was on a fishing and camping trip with his family at Colorado’s Rocky Mountain National Park. As the boy and his parents were taking a hike along a river, little Alfred, who was wearing a brightly colored shirt, suddenly simply disappeared without explanation. One moment he had been there walking in a line behind them, and the next the parents had turned around to find he was gone without a trace. There had been no shout or sign of distress, and all calls to him went unanswered. He had seemingly just ceased to exist.
Although the parents claimed that the boy had gone nowhere near the water, authorities were nevertheless convinced that he had fallen into the river, and immediately went about blocking off the river so that it could be thoroughly searched and so that his body would not float too far away. A 6-mile stretch of the river where Alfred had vanished was searched and dredged for 5 full days without turning up any sign of the boy, and when bloodhounds were brought in they oddly tracked his scent to around 500 feet uphill from where his parents had been when he had disappeared, which was odd considering he had supposedly gone missing as he was walking behind them. Also strange was that allegedly the bloodhounds followed the trail for some time before reaching a fork and suddenly stopping and simply lying down, an odd behavior for trained scent dogs to display, and also strange because it seemed that the trail had just abruptly stopped to vanish just as surely as the boy had.
Even more bizarre than this was an odd report that came in from some hikers in the area in the early stages of the search, the very day after Alfred had vanished. The hikers, who were a couple, had been on Old Fall River Road about 6 miles away over rugged terrain and around 3,000 feet higher from where Alfred had disappeared, and at the time had had no idea that there was a missing boy in the area, yet they reported seeing a rather worrying sight. They claimed that they had seen a young boy perched up upon a high ridge in an area ominously called “The Devil’s Nest,” near the top of Mt. Chaplin. The hikers reported that the boy had been forlornly sitting alone up there and had then suddenly moved out of sight, which the hikers mysteriously allegedly said looked as if he were being “jerked back.” At the time they could not figure out how such a young boy would be out there in the remote wilderness by himself or how he could have possibly climbed up onto that formidably high ridge. According to the hikers, as soon as they had gotten home and seen the news, they had realized that the boy they had seen was the missing Alfred Beilhartz.
Authorities acted on the tip and made the journey out to the Devil’s Nest, a perilous hike through thick, unforgiving forested terrain littered with rough brush and dense trees, and there at the top of the looming ridge they could find no trace of the boy. Considering the difficulty of the terrain, the elevation, and the steep, treacherous climb up to the ridge on which the hikers had claimed to have seen the boy, park rangers came to the conclusion that it would have been impossible for the boy to have made the hike out there in the timeframe involved on his own, and that he could not have possibly climbed the ridge alone without specialized climbing equipment and experience. There are several weird details about this case. How did Alfred manage to just vanish right under his parents’ noses without making a sound? What happened to his scent trail and why did the bloodhounds following him act so oddly? How could Alfred hike all the way up Mt. Chaplin, trudging 6 miles and 3,000 feet through unforgiving perilous terrain in such a short time, and then climb up onto that high ridge by himself? What did the hikers mean that he was “jerked back”? We may never know, and Alfred Beilhartz has never been found. Oddly enough, it is reported that young little Beilhartz had been wearing brightly colored clothing at the time of his vanishing.
Such cases are numerous, and we also have the case of 3-year-old Jaryd Atadero, who in October of 1999 was staying with his father at a Christian retreat lodge at Poudre Canyon, Colorado. On October 2, Jaryd was out with 12 of the Christian group members on a hike along the Big South Trail when he somehow got ahead of the group and talked to some fishermen along the Cache la Poudre River, asking them if they’d seen any bears, to which they replied that the boy should get back with the others. Those fishermen would be the last ones to see Jaryd Atedero alive. In the wake of his disappearances a massive search using bloodhounds and aircraft was unable to find any trace of the boy, and it was largely assumed that he had fallen into the frigid waters of the river and drowned.
It would not be until 4 years later that he would finally be found, when on June 4, 2003 his remains were discovered up in a remote, inaccessible area up a steep incline about 500 feet above the trail he had vanished on. This is where the case gets weird. On the dead boy’s cranium were found a series of odd scratches that were assumed to be from a mountain lion, yet big cat experts pointed out that a cougar would have torn at the sweater and body near the neck and stomach, damage that was absent. Indeed, there were no other apparent injuries on the body. Paulides also claims that he spoke to forensics experts on the case who told him that, although the source of the scratches could not be determined, they were not from any known animal. Other odd details about the body were that the boy’s clothes had been turned inside out, and a single tooth from his mouth had been found placed upon a nearby log, strangely not overgrown with moss or vegetation considering that it had presumably been sitting there for 4 years. The clothes and shoes themselves were also surprisingly brightly colored and new looking for supposedly having been out in the elements for so long. And there is a key word here, they were brightly colored.
Adding to this strangeness surrounding the case of Jaryd Atadero are allegations made by the boy’s father, Allyn Atadero, that authorities were very secretive and dishonest about the whole incident, and seemed to be almost intentionally botching the investigation. One example is when the Atadero family was allegedly threatened with arrest if they tried to go off snooping around on the Big South Trail, and although it was claimed by authorities that the trail was the only way in or out of the canyon, this turned out to be a falsehood, as Allyn found records of various other entry and exit points. Another oddity was that Allyn claimed that he had discovered that the police were using his own shorts as a scent sample for the dogs rather than those of his son, and that when confronted about this glaring error in procedure they got confrontational and irritated, allegedly going so far as to threaten to call the search off. Allyn would also claim that although some strange hair samples had been collected from his son’s sweater, no test results were ever released and he was merely told that they were neither human nor mountain lion, but that he “shouldn’t worry about it.” To top it all off, Paulides also claims that authorities were highly uncooperative with his own investigation into the case, and that the FBI had refused to get involved. What in the world happened to Jaryd Atadero? Was this an animal attack, a kidnapping, or something more? It seems we may never know.
Mysterious cases like this go on and on, with that common thread going through them that they were all wearing brightly colored clothing at the time of their bizarre vanishings. Is this, as David Paulides and Lamers say, a determining factor in such vanishings? If so, then why should this be? Are the colors somehow attractive or maddening to whatever forces are taking these people? And now that we are on it what forces would those be? Is this extraterrestrials, evil spirits of some kind, Bigfoot, some sort of other mysterious animal, or what? One very interesting theory that has made the rounds is that perhaps some sort of large, unidentified winged beast is behind it all, perhaps its attention drawn by the bright colors. One commenter on our very own Mysterious Universe has said of this and how it relates to such vanishings:

I’m pretty sure I know what it is & I’m sure it’s also responsible for some of the National Forest missing adults. If these disappearances have anything to do with what I saw in 2006 in Colorado (less than one mile outside of Pike National Forest), then it’s likely that the same thing is responsible for the cattle mutilations as well:
It’s a bird & it was massive; I startled it off my roof by stepping outside onto my front porch in the middle of the night. I had no idea there was anything there but when the door slammed behind me I heard a “scrabbling” sound; as if there were a small rockslide directly above me.I covered my head with my arms & tried to duck under the eaves when I heard a rippling sound. Almost exactly like the sound one of those huge flags make when a sudden strong gust of wind unfurls it.
Then, there was a boom. A percussive boom that my eardrums felt, to the point where I started to lose my balance & fall backwards. That’s when a huge shadow passed overhead. From 1.5 stories above me, clearing 50ft tall tree in the front yard. The shape of the shadow most resembled a vulture & I can’t conceive of the wingspan being less than 20ft.As it glided up it … screamed. A pulsating croak? Not sure quite how to describe it. It was not a sound I have ever heard before. Oddly; it didn’t seem to have flapped its wings again.I refused to think about it for about a year because it was so ridiculously improbable. When an inspection of the roof occurred, the comment was “It looks like Freddy Krueger attacked your roof!” Along with the gashes, there were a few puncture holes as well. So I started researching & haven’t stopped.

It is of course possible that the presence of bright colors could just be a coincidence. Perhaps it does not matter, and has simply been assigned value by Paulides and others, but then how would that explain the clear link supposedly conveyed to Lamers by the people of that remote area of Indonesia and their aversion to entering the jungle wearing anything other than white or preferably black? Is there any connection to be had here, and if so what is it? It is certainly interesting to note the similarities between Lamers’ stories on the bright colors and people reappearing with no memory of what had happened and the very similar Paulides cases in which the same thing happens. Are there mysterious forces drawn to these colors that somehow make these people disappear? There is no way to know, and it seems to lie beyond our comprehension, but until we do understand maybe don’t wear brightly colored clothing next time you are on that hike through the woods.

Welcome to the 100-91 Reveal for the NFL Top 100 Players of the 2022 Season!

Players whose average rank landed them in places 100-91 are on this portion of the list revealed today. Players are associated with the team they finished playing for at the end of the 2022 season
Below you will see some write-ups from the rankers summarizing the players’ 2022 season and why they were among the best in 2022. Stats for each player are included below. Additionally, their ranks from previous years are available for y’all to see

METHODOLOGY

Link to more detailed writeup on our methodology

• Step 1: A Call to Rankers right after the Conference Championship games
  
• Step 2: Rankers from each team nominated players to rank, with a 11 game minimum threshold. Players are associated with the team they played for in 2022
  
• Step 3: The Grind. We instructed users to tier positions groups into T25, T50, etc based on 2022 regular season play only. This took several weeks as the rankers tiered each position group and discussed them. There were no individual player threads and no arbitrary position caps. Just questions and rankings.
  
• Step 4: Users submitted their own personal Top 125 lists.
  
• Step 5: User lists were reviewed by myself, u/mattkud , and u/MikeTysonChicken . The rankers were expected to answer questions about their lists. They were allowed to make any changes to their list, and were not forced to make any changes
  
• Step 6: The Reveal… where we are now!
  

And without further ado, here are the players ranked 100-91 in the NFL Top 100 Players of the 2022 Season!

#100 - Garrett Wilson - New York Jets - Wide Receiver

Previous Ranks
N/A
Key Stat:
2nd Most missed forced tackles among WRs with 22
Written by: u/MattyT7
Garrett Wilson walked into the NFL as an immediate stud. He showed the world who he was in week 2, playing a major part in the destruction of the Cleveland Browns. Wilson caught two touchdowns, including what was the game-winner, to go along with 102 yards through the air. Despite having the worst quarterback play across the league last season, Wilson earned Offensive Rookie of the Year honors, and it is not hard to see why. He is a demon after the catch with the ball in his hands, consistently finding ways to squeeze as much extra juice as he can out of a play. His jab step/cutback is lethal; simply put, he is not easy to stop. He may have only caught 4 touchdowns all year, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that the Jets offense was… well, not great. Even so, Wilson finished his rookie campaign with 83 catches for 1104 yards. You may not have heard, but the Jets quietly brought in a new quarterback this offseason, and the sky is truly the limit for Wilson going forward. Although he may not be the most physically gifted wide receiver in the world, he’s an incredibly crafty dude and is already one of the best at what he does.

#99 - Aaron Rodgers - Green Bay Packers - Quarterback

Previous Ranks

2021	2020	2019	2018	2017	2016	2015	2014	2013	2012
4	1	73	95	N/A	11	29	2	26	3​​

Key Stat:
2nd in the league in PFF's Big Time Throw Rate, trailing only Josh Allen
Written by: u/IMissHarambe878
A “down” year for ARod sees him slip to the bottom of the Top 100 here. His stats may have declined since his back-to-back MVPs, but Rodgers was consistently carrying this Green Bay team on his back this season. Despite carrying a broken thumb throughout the campaign (in which he didn’t miss a game), he helped try to steady the ship despite inconsistency across all other parts of the team (defense, run game, inexperienced wide receivers). He nearly dragged Green Bay kicking and screaming into the playoffs but was only stopped by a gutsy Lions team in Week 18 ready to play spoiler. Fun fact, Rodgers actually put up his career high in game winning drives this year with 4.
​
Here is a highlights package of Rodgers’ last season in Green Bay. Some specific highlights within the video:
- 1:01 – Rodgers shows he can still throw a pretty deep ball out to Watkins v Bears
- 3:29 – Deep throw v the Jets to Lazard, probably explains why he wanted him to follow him there
- 4:37 – Rolling out of the pocket to find Aaron Jones for a beautiful TD v Commanders
- 5:06 – Absolute dime to Doubs for a TD v Bills
- 7:30 – Beautiful play action out to Watson for a TD v Cowboys
- 13:05 – Sideline pass out to Mercedes Lewis v Dolphins
- 14:11 – Absolute monster of a ball out to Watson v Lions in his final game for Green Bay
​
All good things have to come to an end at some point, and this year showed Rodgers wasn’t the immortal some thought he was. Considering his supporting cast and the offense around him, I think he did the best he could. Don’t let that fool you though, he’s still very much an above average quarterback and I’m confident he will be higher up this list, this time next year. Take care of him, Jets, and thank you for all the memories, Aaron.

#98 - Jaelan Phillips - Miami Dolphins - EDGE Rusher

Previous Ranks

2021
N/A​

Key Stat:
Phillips’s 70 pressures is the most by a Dolphin since Olivier Vernon in 2015
Written by: u/Yedic
Jaelan Phillips followed up a somewhat spotty rookie season with a much more polished sophomore campaign in 2022. He nearly doubled his pressure numbers, with an increase from 39 in 2021 to 70 in 2022 per PFF. He more than doubled his stops, jumping up from 16 to 36.
Check out this play, where Phillips, lined up at the top of the screen, uses his speed to beat the tackle upfield, and then works back down into the pocket for the strip sack in the 4th quarter of an important division game. Here's one where Jaelan Phillips lines up at 3t, against the LG, and then shows a nice motor to adjust for a 3rd down sack while fighting through a hold.
Phillips also showed off some impressive versatility. Per PFF's tracking, he dropped into coverage about six time a game, which resulted in the most coverage snaps out of all Edge Defenders nominated for this list, and 4th most of all Edge Defenders in the entire league. He even blocked a punt for good measure!

#97 - Talanoa Hufanga - San Francisco 49ers - Safety

Previous Ranks

2021	2020
N/A	N/A​

Key Stat:
Only safety with multiple sacks, multiple forced fumbles, and four interceptions including a pick-6 in a single season in the last 10 years
Written by: u/TheRed_Knight
Once upon a time there was a slightly undersized Polynesian Safety from USC who played with wild abandon and a glorious main of hair, who ended up drafted in the 1st round by the Pittsburgh Steelers. His name was Troy Polamalu and as it turns out, he was one of the best to ever play the game at his position. Fast forward to 2021, and USC has another slightly undersized Polynesian Safety, named Talanoa Hufanga, who played with wild abandon and a slightly less glorious main of hair, who fell in the draft due to a poor combine showing and injury.
Snagged in the 5th round of the 2021 draft by the 49ers (praise be to Adam Peters), Hufanga played spot snaps on defense his rookie year as a rotational safety, while logging most of his playing time as a special teams gunner, with his most memorable play coming against the Packers in the NFC Divisional round, returning the blocked punt by Jordan Willis for a game tying touchdown. When Jimmie Ward suffered a moderate hamstring strain in the 2022 preseason, Hufanga capitalized on his opportunity, playing well enough to earn the starting S job when Ward came back, which in part led to Ward and the 49ers parting ways in FA.
During his 2022-23 sophomore campaign Hufanga ended up 3rd on the team/13th amongst all Safety's in tackles (97), 3rd on the team/6th amongst all Safety's in PD's (9), 2nd on the team/tied for 6th amongst all Safety's in INT's (4), including a pick-6 against Matt Stafford, and tied for 1st on the team/3rd amongst all Safety's in FF (2) EX. Despite being listed at only 6 foot 200lbs he plays significantly bigger and isn't afraid to lay wood or attack blockers in run defense. By far and away Hufanga's greatest asset is his raw instinctual play, his ability to diagnose and blow up plays based on pre snap alignment and pure gut instinct in a way offenses can't plan against. He's SF's wildcard, and on a defense laden with monsters and freaks he's perfectly positioned to reap as much damage as possible against opposing offenses.
While Hufanga's certainly has a long way to go to catch Polamalu, the similarities early in his career are apparent. History doesnt repeats itself but it sure does rhymes a whole lot.

#96 - Alex Highsmith - Pittsburgh Steelers - EDGE Rusher

Previous Ranks

2021	2020
N/A	N/A​

Key Stat:
1st in sacks lined up on the right side of the defensive line with 14
Written by: u/ezDuke
Flashback to 2021. Melvin Ingram had signed with the Steelers in hopes of revitalizing his career opposite a premier Edge rusher in TJ Watt. All that stood in his way was a former 3rd round pick from the football powerhouse school of Charlotte entering his second season, Alex Highsmith. By midseason, however, it was clear that the Steelers saw something in Highsmith and Ingram demanded a trade in search of a starting opportunity.
Throughout the 2022 season, Highsmith rewarded the Steelers' faith in him. He showcased an array of pass rush moves to finish 6th in the league with 14.5 sacks, highlighted by his devastating spin move. He also led the league in forced fumbles, along with Haason Reddick. He actually graded even more highly as a run defender, according to PFF, and even showed good coverage skills for a LB.
Highsmith has blossomed into the do-it-all Linebacker they envisioned when they shipped Ingram off for a 6th round pick. While he still has some room to grow, there's no question that he and TJ Watt have as good a chance as any to finish 2023 as the league's best pass rush tandem.

#95 - Tua Tagovailoa - Miami Dolphins - Quarterback

Previous Ranks

2021	2020
N/A	N/A​

Key Stat:
When throwing 5+ Yards downfield, Tua ranked 1st in EPA/ATT, 1st in Success Rate, 1st in First Down Rate, 1st in YPA and 1st in Passer Rating
Written by: u/cheesepythons
Tua Tagovailoa, perhaps the most polarizing player in the NFL presently. Some of the criticism justified and some vacuous, somewhere in the middle of all this there is the realization that what we got in the 2022 season was a much-improved player who when given the confidence, right system and weapons showed the ability of elite talent. Finishing first in league passer rating, 25 touchdowns, around 9 yards Y/A behind one of the worst OL’s in the league (24th in pass block win rate, thank god for when TA was playing) was a bright spot for his growth and maturity as a QB and team leader. On intermediate throws, Tua ranked first in EPA per drop back and completion percentage. Tua had the lowest average time to throw on these pass attempts at 2.63, the league average for throws of 11 or more air yards is 3.02 seconds. There will be arguments of course that having two of the best receivers in the league has helped, there can’t be any argument, but it is interesting to note that Tua was ranked 33rd in the league in passing yards after the catch which suggests his arm is doing a lot of the lifting as well. 2 serious concussions and subsequently missing time robbed Dolphins fans of seeing him produce at a consistent level but at 8-1 as a starter leading into December (before the wheels fell off) there was enough to have him nominated and subsequently voted into the Top 100 players for the season.

#94 - CJ Gardner-Johnson - Philadelphia Eagles - Safety

Previous Ranks

2021	2020	2019
N/A	N/A	N/A​

Key Stat:
T-1st in the league with 6 INTs
Written by: u/CokeZ3ro
Joining the Eagles mere days before Week 1 via trade, Gardner-Johnson would serve as the cherry on top for the formidable 2022 Eagles defense. More than just a change in scenery, Gardner-Johnson also experienced a change in position, switching from nickel corner to a more traditional safety. Safe to say, he adapted well to the change. Gardner-Johnson co-lead the league with 6 interceptions.
Gardner-Johnson often employs a ballhawk style coverage. He has a great sense for the ball in the air, and a blazingly fast approach which will often punish poor placement and deflections. Pairing with the disruption caused by the Eagle’s D-line and the coverage by their excellent corners gave Gardner-Johnson plenty of opportunities to flash those skills.
Mclaurin got Slay beat? It’s alright CJGJ will fly over to make the pick.
Underthrown? You’re done for.
Sometimes it feels like he spawns out of nowhere to make the pick.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention trash talk antics. If there was an award for instigation, C.J. Gardner-Johnson would win in a landslide. Few are better at getting under the opponent’s skin. Gardner-Johnson brings a level of grit, energy, and bravado that can instantly make the secondary better.

#93 - Ryan Ramczyk - New Orleans Saints - Offensive Tackle

Previous Ranks

2021	2020	2019	2018	2017
100	63	14	74	100​

Key Stat:
6th straight year allowing less than 20 pressures in true pass sets
Written by: u/LazyFBaby
Ryan Ramczyk turned in a solid year again in 2022. However, he happened to be on the 2022 New Orleans Saints football in 2022 as well. The offense was woefully inconsistent and particularly struggled to get anything going in the 2nd half of most games ranking in the top 5 in terms of three and out percentage during the latter half of the game. Consequently, Ram was mostly ignored throughout the season where he only allowed 3 sacks, 5 QB hits and 20 pressures (per PFF). If I was to pick any performance of his to highlight it would be his work against Nick Bosa in week 12 he stonewalled Bosa all game and his only real mistake was a false start penalty. Ryan continues to be one of the strongest tackles in the NFL in terms of his anchor and his ability to deal with any pass rush moves that an opposing Edge might throw at him. Hopefully, 2023 will see his return to the upper echelons of this hallowed list

#92 - Tee Higgins - Cincinnati Bengals - Wide Receiver

Previous Ranks

2021	2020
N/A	N/A​

Key Stat:
4th in Contested Catch % (16 catches on 26 targets) +3rd highest target passer rating (121.0)
Written by: u/Letsgomountaineers5
Tee Higgins was one of the biggest draft crushes I’ve had in some time, so it was a no brainer to pick up his write up, even though he plays for one of my favorite team’s biggest rivals. He’s just a really fun player to watch from a WR coach’s perspective. Let’s dive into a few things that makes Tee Higgins a Top 100 player and an elite WR in the NFL.
The first thing you have to love about Tee’s game is his deep ball ability. That has always been his calling card, even without elite speed. So, what makes him such a threat? Well, I would be remiss to leave off his size and frame. He’s long and broad and those two things allow him to high point footballs and shield off defenders naturally. However, what separates Tee from the other thousand long and broad people playing WR at any level up and down the country is an otherworldly ability to track a football down the field, very late hands and reactions to assist with preventing a defender from getting between the ball, and most importantly the body control of a world class ballet performer. I mean this when I say that Tee Higgins has the best body control down the field of any player in football and WR gurus like Urban Meyer, Brian Hartline, and Butch will say that body control is the hardest thing to teach a receiver to do and arguably the most sought after trait of a downfield threat, moreso than speed.
Here’s a great example of this. Sauce is playing Cover 3 to his side of the field, so he’s able to open to the QB and track the ball flight. He’s in decent trail position as like I said earlier, Tee isn’t a burner. However, Sauce is late to find the ball because Tee doesn’t give anything to the ball being flight until the last possible moment where his eyes widen and his hands go up. Sauce is even able to flip his head around and get in the line of sight of Tee, but Tee still effortlessly adjusts his body to maintain eye contact with the football and track it into his bread basket. Not often did Sauce get beat deep this year, but he sure did by Tee. Another example of Tee just sonning DBs downfield. In this matchup, the Browns are playing 2-Read. As soon as the slot WR to Tee’s side goes vertical, it becomes matchup quarters and Greedy Williams is attached to Tee. This is a ball that SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THROWN. Greedy is in excellent position on the fade. The safety is coming underneath on the deep out so even a back shoulder is typically a bad idea here. The Browns play this really well! But, still, here’s Tee high pointing the ball centimeters above Greedy’s hands and ripping it away from him, having the body control to remain on his feet even as gravity and Greedy are pulling him to the ground, and walking into the end zone.
An underrated part of Tee’s game is his route running. He’s very good on his release. The first clip of this cut up shows why. In the slot here, he stems his defender outside while pushing vertical. His delayed release and “out-in-out” stepping pattern freezes the curl/flat player in the cover 3. He’s in a bad spot to play the “curl” zone (he’s not running a curl) of the coverage because the backer to his side blitzes but Tee has him so frozen, he passes Tee off to no one and Tee is able to settle into wide open space. He also uses his body control to break off vertical routes very quickly, even without having the quickest of feet. Cover 3 to Tee again as most teams were scared of him getting over top of the defense. Tee options this go route off into a perfect flag comeback, using both his intelligence and body control to find open space. The defender is flipped open and running from the snap so he recognizes getting behind him is hard. But the defender is also in really good leverage to snap back down on fast break back to the football, so he has to really sell vertical. He closes space and cuts first like he’s going to run a fade/corner route. Then, he plants extremely hard vertically in one of the most unbelievable leg angles I’ve seen from someone that is still able to keep their feet and comes back to the football. The corner is completely helpless to stop this play.
There’s been this long standing whisper that Tee is a product of Jamarr. I attempted to illustrate as briefly as possible just how incredible of a player Tee is in his own right, but I would be remiss when discussing Tee in context of this list on 2022 play to mention how much he elevated his game with Jamarr out. Tee ended the year with 74 catches for 1029 yards. Nothing to scoff at. But with Jamarr out, he elevated his play to a pace of 110 catches for 1577 yards. Tee may be one of the only players in football that is held back by a top 5 WR talent playing across from him. He proved this year that both players serve a crucial role in this offense and if anything, he could stand to see more targets next season even with Jamarr in the fold. He can be the WR1 and when all the attention is paid to him, he seems to take his game to even higher levels. Look out for him next season climbing up this list even higher.

#91 - Quenton Nelson - Indianapolis Colts - Offensive Guard

Previous Ranks

2021	2020	2019	2018
82	21	18	70​

Key Stat:
4rd OL in history to make the Pro Bowl in each of their first 5 seasons, with 3 AP All-Pro 1st teams
Written by: u/Matt_Forte_
Quenton Nelson continues to be the best lineman on the Colts once again. Having a down year compared to his previous pedigree, he was not quite as dominant as his usual standards in pass protection, he allowed more sacks than he had previously, but some of that can be attributed to inexperienced QB play and poor pocket presence forcing him to have to hold up for longer. Nelson allowed 5 sacks out of the Colts’ 60 total allowed sacks, while starting all 17 games and coming close to the lead league among guards with snaps taken, showing he was nowhere near the biggest culprit on the team in allowing sacks. There were two plays that I felt summarized his pass protection. First, he does a great job picking up a stunt to give Ehlinger time in his first NFL start. Second, is simply a picture. The ball was snapped at 9:37, and approximately 2.5 seconds into the play, Q is the only lineman whose man is not pressuring Sam Ehlinger.
However, Quenton Nelson was still a force to be reckoned with in the run. Between his ability pull, or lead block for Jonathan Taylor, Quenton Nelson still retains his ability to be a dominant force in run blocking. Any Jonathan Taylor highlight will heavily feature a solid block from Q giving him the running lane he takes, or Q out in front leading the charge! He will do this on any DL in the league too, there were several big gains in the Eagles game where Q was able to move the very talented Eagles DTs. He routinely performed this well against some of the best Defensive Lines in the league, such as Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, where he does a great job preventing Heyward from wrecking this TD run,
Expect Quenton Nelson to be a massive cornerstone of Anthony Richardson’s development in Indianapolis, providing a solid foundation to every facet of the run game, and a source of protection up the middle against pass rushers

Link to Positional Tracker Sheet

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We are Azure Infinitum
Visit us at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/)
You may have seen us in the Aether data center's party finder during our weekly events, or may have seen our recruitment shouts around the realm in-game in Midgardsormr, but there just isn't enough space in those places to really explain everything wonderful about what our Free Company and community is.
Azure Infinitum is an LGBTQ+ friendly community, and welcomes players of all experience level, play style, and availability. We're a warm home with a balance of online players, weekly optional activities, and flexible ranks from our membership, to our support & leadership categories. We have a 24/7 Support Team, a Councilship that governs each tier, seasonal events of our own, and many resources between the games we support and online services.
Who We Are
We are an established 9-year old community who's home is in Midgardsormr Server of Final Fantasy XIV. We are a structured, well-rounded, welcoming, friendly, and organized community that hosts daily events (check out our calendar: https://azureinfinitum.com/events/ ) that provide opportunity for members to excel. We work to provide an arena and opportunities to establish strong bonds and camaraderie between our members. As a community we are driven, we carry each other forward, and we are proud.
Our Name & Philosophy
Learn more about our global community here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/aboutus/)
Learn more about our FFXIV Free Company here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ourffxivfc/)
Azure Infinitum means "Azure/Blue Infinity or Infinite Blue/Azure" and there is some mythos behind the name that stems from our guild-wide philosophy of kindness, freedom, vigilance, diversity and activity. We promote positive fellowship among members in an organized guild, with our sights open to our unending endless skies, full of possibility and success together.
Our motto is "As Free As The Azure Sky!" which stuck well when our FC was restructured from an old guild in 2014 as Azure was founded, and it was first shouted as we looked out at a clear blue sky above. has continued to be our electric victory as we continue to snowball in success and activity, our members soaring high through the Azure Sky, flying together!
Ranks
Click here to learn more about our community ranks: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ranks/)
Our community has an organized ranking structure beginning with Members who comprise the majority of the roster. Scouts are our support team of Members who've stepped up to more officially support the FC, some work on obtaining a future leadership rank. Lieutenants and Officers comprise the proud Azure Council, a diverse group of players of different specialties and services to the FC, making up lower and higher tier leadership, seeing over the Scouts and the FC weekly events, aside from being admins. The FC Infinitum Master oversees all and leads the Azure Council and the company forward while always keeping the heart and vision of the community alive and in sight. Currently we are re-assessing ranks in the free company, giving more support permissions and duties to our Scouts, while the current council operates as a small team of Lieutenants lead by the FC Master.
Everyone Welcome and Who Fits Best
We have an open door policy. Whether you're casual, a returning player, a veteran, or a newbie, we have a vast array of players in our member roster. Our weekly schedule is organized and provides an array of activity for players of most levels, however we like to ask players who're pretty new or under the level cap, to be extra vocal about their needs while they're still unable to attend some daily events or higher level content that most of our weekly lineup focuses on. We want everyone to have as much fun as possible and have the most success. We find that most players enjoy Azure Infinitum, many have stated that they subscribed to FFXIV much longer than they ever would have imagined after they have been around in our community, as they've gotten involved and experienced all that we offer.
Our FC keeps a daily schedule (see here: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/events/) of events that are hosted by permitted Scouts and Council ranks, these range from 8-man and 24-man raids and map parties, to WT journal groups and trial clear parties or farms, and more- and attending anything isn't mandatory at all here. We're happy to have you, and its up to our members how much they'd like to get involved. Attendance is optional! There's never any stress to attend FC functions.
Savage Raiding Statement
We find that some hardcore raiders looking for free companies just to join their statics who don't already have one, might not fit well if savage raiding is their only or greatest focus, because traditionally Azure does not have a Savage Static, but focuses more on allowing members to organize their own groups and also provides resources to do so. Despite not supporting an official static for the FC, we hope that hardcore raiders enjoy the wealth of our community's wealth of harmony and overall fun, and that everyone may take initiative to seek out or build a raiding static within our community if they are interested, as opposed to missing out on experiencing Azure. Depending on the content season, we may have an Unofficial static lead by a leader, and routinely offer limited time Savage-learning events that may run for a number of months.
Rules and No Drama Policy
Please take a moment to look over our Rules Page at (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/), we find that rude individuals and people who create drama are the outsiders here that don't fit well. We know its a big page, so at least visit the General Rules section before joining.
Recruitment Care & Activity
People of Azure Infinitum are often if not always good natured players who found their way to our community looking for a place with structure, friendliness, organization, and great activity, or they've been scouted during recruitment drives and have been well screened. Its a place where one can be social and attend everything, or relax in the background and enjoy the services and facilities of being in an active, organized, and friendly FC. We actively recruit periodically to assist with upkeep of community activity levels, and to meet new comrades. A community that closes recruitment can be doomed to stagnation. Its normal for a community to have an inner core of die hards who log in daily regardless of content releases, and also have an outer core of individuals that range from those with less availability to those who check in during Patches. This is why we take extra care in keeping the fresh blood flowing into Azure, cautious recruitment, and support our active model by always staying welcoming and sometimes running recruitment campaigns and other services. Like this ad!
Handling Online Drama
Because we keep a no-drama policy and have a strong communication network, it is leadership's ultimate priority to handle any issues that may come up as soon as possible, and most people appreciate our problem solving which has inspired many other communities. Between our Support & Leadership ranks, we use a number of report and resource channels to handle situations, and perform problem solving protocols & tactics to fairly address issues as possible. Drama is inevitable at some point for any online community, so its important to have a large and strong list of moderators (currently around 60!) and a council of leaders (15+) to quickly handle any problems. Luckily, we don't have a lot of drama, but we're always very well equipped and very prepared. Our community has been commended by game staff in the past for our methods, and we have worked with the FFXIV Special Task Force to ensure as much safety to our community as achievable. It should be stressed that it is up to our membership to report to GM's in-game, and to Azure Leadership should any issues or concerns come up. Its also highly recommended that our members appropriately document evidence that can be used to help us assess situations and make proper decisions. Documenation such as screenshots of harassment is a great example! Our members online safety is greatly important to us and is a number one concern of our leadership team. Our Rules Page at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/) describes a bit more in Chapter 3, including other entries on avoiding/ignoring trolls, playing while intoxicated, depression, and more.
Our Philosophy
We believe in our community and its people, how far we can go, how much we can do for each other, being an experienced community who's core values are positive fellowship, formation of bonds, and indomitable unity.
Azure Infinitum tightly grasps success and masters a casual and lucrative weekly play schedule while inspiring motivation and providing avenues for further success, friendships, and camaraderie among all who freely fly together among our Azure skies.
Founding on the principles of intricately forging a generally drama-free experience with keen leadership and a zealous and mighty membership, Azure has striven to guide and support many hundreds of players through every era of Final Fantasy XIV.
With an illustrious history, company lore, impressive statistics, and a model that is adaptable and blessed with innovative ability, Azure Infinitum claims a dominant presence of excellence and player growth that is possible in our community and extended services.
Estate Organization
We have the entire set-up at our estate, from gardens for members and Krakka Root production (free for members' chocobos), to our stables, nicely uniform clean lawn with hangout spots that are popular, with crafting stations, all available NPCs for simple mats and repairs, cut-scene viewer, toybox, triple-triad board, a fully operational and geared fleet of airships and subs, and our Azure Infinitum Assembly Chamber on the top floor for our meetings where announcements are made at our Grand Assemblies. Check it out if you like at Mist Ward 7 Plot 1.
We also have an organized form of gathering for weekly events in the yard, places to relax, food that is always available on tables at our Cellar, and hold a lot of special events and social games at our Hall. We're also conveniently located next to a Market Board and a Retainer Bell outside of our estate.
Communication and Extended Azure Services
We have multiple services of which none are mandatory, but we provide being (azureinfinitum.com) where our Forums, Event Calendar, News, Company Meeting Summaries, Seasonal Merch Giveaways, Contests, Rules Page, and more take place and can be found. We also have a popular and active Discord Server.
We also have a Facebook Group, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Steam Group, (Look us up! Or visit: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/socialmedia/) and Linkshells like our Infinitum Alliance LS for contact and aid from our allies if needed, our Azure Hunters LS for Hunters, and our Azure Industry LS which connects our members to our inner crafting/gathering community for newbies to pros.
Also worthy of mention is our big Company Meetings in-game, known as Azure Infinitum Grand Assemblies. Even though we have several avenues that keep people connected, our live assemblies gather the FC in unity where announcements are made first, and all proposals, ideas, and more, can be decided together live with the Azure Council present.
This network ensures a lot of information and communication gets around and has been exceedingly useful to us.
More On Events
One part of our reputation that often precedes us is our event crafting and hosting.
First, let me make sure its clear that attendance is never mandatory, but those who can make use, when possible, of what we provide each day, benefit from our events each week.
Since our beginning, traditions like our Thursday Treasure Thursdays events have run each week. Our weekly line-up presently begins on Tuesdays post-weekly reset, and consists of Raid Tuesdays, Wondrous Wednesdays (WT Journal Parties, often doubles as Trial Clears and Pony Drops), Treasure Thursdays (Endwalker's timeworn maps with groups of 8 doing up to 3 rounds of maps allowing for up to 24 maps ran), 24-Man Tuesdays (full pre-formed Azure 24-member alliances are made and raids are cleared, will be returning upon the release of EW's 24-man), Super Azure Slayer Sunday (our weekly meetup to do all sorts of PVP content be it Rival Wings or Frontline), and Monstrous Mondays (helps clear the current and previous patch extreme trials).
Special, Seasonal, and Quarterly Events
More info here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/azureday/)See the latest event news & more at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/news/)
We also have what we call Special and Quarterly Events. These types of events are Weekend-Long-Events that usually consist of a theme or celebratory social events we craft. During these events we hold big Riddle Races, Costume/Glamour shows and contests, 3-Story Mansion Maze Races, Speedrun Dungeon Races, Hide and Seek games, Custom Quest Events, Discord events like Cards Against Humanity nights, Comedy events, PVP Tournament Circuits, and more.
Our Special and Quarterly events are Azure Day Weekend (Takes place 3 times a year across a weekend, celebrates the FC), Azure Summer Festival (3-days at the end of August in partnership with Child's Play, raises money for children in long-term care, anniversary of historic FC event called the Lunar Rebellion), Anniversary Azure Day (a big weekend event in November that celebrates our Founding), Azure Day Saint's Wake (celebrates Halloween/All Saint's Wake), Azure Starlight Day (celebrating Starlight Day/Christmas/December Holiday Season), Azure Grand Melee and Duel Tournaments (PVP Circuit series crowning our PVP Champions) and more.
Azure Day Weekends
If you've been around our server you may have heard of our Azure Day Weekends. Our Azure Days take place quarterly as mentioned just above, with four evolved editions called Azure Summer Festival, Azure Day Saint's Wake, Azure Starlight Day, and Anniversary Azure Day. With Azure Day Weekends and related events traditionally occuring quarterly our members are always excited to see the next big weekend of crazy and fun social games, and our showering of the free company in gil and prizes galore. We go all out when we celebrate the free company, and Azure Days are another way we find for leadership to give back to the community. 2023 and beyond is now host to additional seasonal Azure Day events!
We're always giving our members a chance to have fun, win big, and make some great memories in the in-game family we've become. Something fun is always on the horizon in Azure.
Community
I almost can't stress enough how friendly our community is. We have a vast variety of members from hardcore gatherers and crafters, social butterflies, chill veterans, experienced raiders, level grinders, support teams, PVP aficionados, mechanic specialists, and mentors. We're also very friendly to all casual players as well and we keep an open door so long as recruits are always aware that we have a no-drama tolerance here.
​Evolution into a Gaming Clan & Network
Plans are in the works and foundations are being laid that is slowly turning our community into a larger gaming network, with our first established Azure Wing with regular occurring activity being founded in Monster Hunter World, this has led to a successful Destiny 2 clan and more. Becoming a member of our Discord and/or Free Company now means access to things like our huge discord, Azure Wing membership in other games, and being able to join in on any of our other activities in the general community. Azure Network as its being called at the moment, is growing with an all-new website and community features for playing together across Final Fantasy XIV and to Azure Skies beyond!
Activity
We rank high as one of the top FC's in Worldwide Activity on lodestone, and have for a long time. Most of our players are divided between the US East and West Coasts, members in East and West Canada, and a few outside the US or in EU or Aus zones. Because we do have an activity policy (mentioned below) we keep a standard flow of people, and have crowds in the early morning, late morning, early afternoon, afternoon, evening, and late night crowds.
Elitism isn't our style. Our community boasts a broad range of characters, great personalities, the proud, and also some silly goofs. But elitism isn't welcome, no matter how successful we are or how large we grow. We're always welcoming towards fresh faces interested in joining our guild, and the in-game activity ranges between 30-60+ online at once during prime time hours, sometimes around 70+ on patch days, and usually always with half the roster logging in throughout a 24 hour period, and around 15-30+ during the night.
Activity Policy
We ask that our members do not go missing without logging in for more than 60 days straight. If we hear word from someone or have some kind of decent excuse, we place our members on our On Vacation rank, which lasts presently until 90 days have passed. Exceptions are made for military deployments, hospital stays, financial issues, disability/health related issues, moving, or other reasons that might fall on a case-by-case basis.
All members not heard from in 60 days (roughly 2 months) or currently 90 days (roughly 3 months) are discharged. We allow 3 joins to Azure Infinitum in total, but exceptions can be made due to reasons listed above. If removed for inactivity, or you've left our FC for another reason and haven't already joined 3 times, you're always welcome back, but please remember, we are not a revolving door.
Keeping our roster full of members who have been online and presently play the game actively ensures an active environment for our players who play often. It also keeps our credits and clerical processes balanced across our network, and allows space for new faces to join our big happy in-game family of comrades.
How to Join
Quick Instructions here for joinin us in FFXIV & more: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/howtojoinazure/)
If you are interested in joining our Azure Infinitum free company, please register an application at our site and/or FC in-game. You can also seek any of our Scouts, Lieutenants, Officers, or the Master of Azure Infinitum in-game and ask for an invite. You can find their names on the roster page at our website.
If you read everything on this page, you are awesome, and you should let anyone you talk to who recruits you know that you read everything on this page which will greatly expedite your invitation to join.
If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to send a /tell in-game to me or any of our Scouts or Lieutenants listed on our official roster here: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9232519973597911137/membe
You can also message us at our FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/AzureInfinitum
Discord here: https://discord.gg/azureinfinitum
Twitter: https://twitter.com/azureinfinitum
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/azure_infinitum/
Main Site: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/

For starters, original parts for this bike (Kettler Traveller e speed 9) are pretty much unavailable and / or cost as much as an electric bike itself, so "buy original X" is out of the window, sadly.
Hello! Recently my acquaintance gave me an ebike battery to rebuild since it's cells are worn out and it doesn't hold much charge anymore. On top of that the charger (smart fancypants one with two additional wires for magic data communication) crapped out because it's connector got mauled. At first I thought that's not a big deal, I'll just replace it and move the original BMS to a new custom-built pack using wiredancing (better safe than sorry!). For the record it's the technique where you connect each cell group in parallel from both old and new batterypacks with reduntant wires (while they are both at the same voltage level to avoid high currents between them) to prevent the BMS from commiting suicide because it got disconnected from it's cells. It has become certain to me that it has been tampered with before me, since there were just random damaged wires pinched between the screw parts and the elephant in the room - the whole batterypack was encased in just off-the-shelf silicone "potting" that was put in a shopping bag from a popular supermarket in my country. There is no way this came from the factory like that. Fortunately even after clearing all that mess, disconnecting the old pack and putting the new one in the original housing it seems to have worked well, the BMS still gave an output of 39V at the main discharge port (in this case the positive side is switched) reacted to the button that lights up the charge-gauge, showing around half charge. At this point I didn't have the ebike at my place, since it's just the battery / charger job. So I went over to the charger's connector, fixed up the connector aaaand... it's still dead. No power draw from mains. When I opened it up (and removed a crap ton of potting) I found the reason why - fuse and the rectifier is busted. As I specialise in SMPS repair it wasn't that big of a deal, replaced both and the charger (probably) started working again, with a tiny tiny constant mains draw (around a miliamp) and a 5V pulse appearing every second or so between one of the data cables and the ground output. I assume the smarts came back alive so I plugged it into the battery for the first time in working condition. As expected the charger "woke up", power draw went up to a few watts, it started blinking a green LED a few times and then it stopped. Further disconnect / reconnect attempts resulted in the charger blinking red lights for a change. Not a good sign. Turns out the battery is also flashing red instead of showing its state of charge. No power output too which is also a bad sign. So with both the charger and the original BMS inoperatove I turned to good old simple and stupid Daly Chinesium with an extra fuse for good measure. (The original BMS is still in the same state as it was connected into a third, different scrapped batterypack just to prevent it from actually dying-dying. Still red blinking lights though.) After the battery arrived at my friend's house it turns out that the other two data cables between the battery and bike are vital for the bike to actually turn on the assist. Instead it spits out an error code that corresponds to "faulty or counterfeit battery". I had hopes the controller wasnt smart-enough-to-be-stupid, but here we are right now. The bike is at my place, so I can tamper with the ins and outs of this electronic safety nightmare all I want.
Here are a few plans or courses of action I have in mind depending on how the bike cooperates (or doesn't). The obvious problem is that both me and the bike's owner doesn't want to overspend and we preferably want to keep the bike street-legal with a functional LCD coming with fancy stuff like the speedomer, battery level etc:
-The first plan of keeping the original BMS and charger is out the window, since you need both for it to work. Original BMS would absolutely not let the pack be charged with a dumb charger. But for now it's dead anyways, so no point in thinking about this option anyway... but there might be an option of trying to trick and convince the bike's controller that chinesium is the original. Hard to tell how well it's protected since most of the big brainy IC's on the original BMS are unmarked and their datasheets are probably proprietary, stored in some big rich businessman's pants as he laughs at all the peasants buying new batteries. I did however save what was outputted by each pin of the original battery and it might be possible to emulate it with some janky resistors and more chinesium. As long as it is not a complex digital signal it should (theoritically ne possible). I will make an update if it works.
-The second plan is to ditch the original electronics im favour of a more available universal BLDC driver with some LCD stuff, but the problem is that they usually use their hall sensor assembly to asses the RPMs and therefore the speed. Since this is a middrive the bike relies on a stupid-simple rpm sensor magnet attached to the rear wheel, so the controller would print out the speed of the motor, not the bike's, regardless of wheel RPM - and that is a function that seems to be mandatory for legal ebikes in Poland as they should not provide assist above 25km/h. Some people ditch that and unlock their bikes and I honestly don't think that's that big of an issue as long as everyone is sensible. As far as I know I don't have any way of modifying universal controllers to use that to spit out accurate speed measurements. The second problem is that the motor's controller is covered in copious amounts of potting and is probably virtually impossible to free it without damaging it, so I refrain from doing so until I absolutely need to do so. Funny thing is that the label says the motor is a 36V 250W DC motor, but I'm almost certain it is not just a brushed dc motor in a funny case. That would be a pretty weird design choice, and paradoxically even worse for me, since there are pretty much no true DC ESCs with speed limiting AND LCDs on the market.
At this point I'm not sure what else to do, if anyone has any recommendations for either tricking / reviving the original electronics or a new controller setup that would actually provide a proper speed sensing option that would be swell. Sadly we are kind of struggling against forced problems since the manufacturer does not provide accessible spare parts. I thank you for reading my input and possibly providing information, maybe someone will find themselves in a similar situation one day.
[Off-topic, it's so stupid that we call everything a DC motor these days. BLDCs are just permament magnet three phase motors with an inverter.]