Welcome to the Monthly Watch Guide! Here you can discuss with fans, plan ahead for the next game and buy/sell tickets or merchandise.
All times listed are Central Daylight Time.

Houston Dash schedule (all competitions)

Chicago Red Stars vs. Houston Dash

Competition: NWSL regular season
Date: Saturday, April 1 - 1:00 PM
Venue: Seatgeek Stadium - Bridgeview, IL
Stream: Paramount+
TV: AT&T SportsNet Southwest 2

Portland Thorns vs. Houston Dash

Competition: NWSL regular season
Date: Friday, April 14 - 9:30 PM
Venue: Providence Park - Portland, OR
Stream: Paramount+

Houston Dash vs. Kansas City Current

Competition: NWSL Challenge Cup
Date: Wednesday, April 19 - 7:00 PM
Venue: Shell Energy Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Paramount+

Washington Spirit vs. Houston Dash

Competition: NWSL regular season
Date: Saturday, April 22 - 9:30 PM
Venue: Audi Field - Washington D.C.
Stream: Paramount+

Houston Dash vs. North Carolina Courage

Competition: NWSL regular season
Date: Friday, April 28 - 7:00 PM
Venue: Shell Energy Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Paramount+
NWSL on Paramount+: all NWSL regular season and Challenge Cup games will be streaming through Paramount+. For more broadcasting info, CBS coverage and international streaming, click here.
Dash on AT&T SportsNet Southwest: AT&T SportsNet Southwest will be broadcasting eight Dash games during the 2023 regular season. You may find the full broadcasting schedule here.
Tickets: single-game tickets are sold through Seatgeek, the club's ticketing partner.
Pre-game and Watch Parties: Check with Bayou City Republic for the most current info.
Parking: Lots B and C are open for Dynamo games but plan ahead if the Astros are playing on the same day. There are other paid lots underneath I-69 but I recommend parking on the street anywhere across Emancipation Avenue past the stadium.
METRORail: You can get to Shell Energy Stadium via METRORail by taking the train to the EaDo/Stadium station on the purple and green lines.

Welcome to the Monthly Watch Guide! Here you can discuss with fans, plan ahead for the next game and buy/sell tickets or merchandise.
All times listed are Central Daylight Time.
Outside fans are welcome! Please make sure to stick to our rules or you'll get pounced by Diesel.
Listings to buy/sell tickets or merchandise posted outside of this thread or our Discord server will be removed.

Houston Dynamo FC schedule (all competitions)

San Jose Eartquakes vs. Houston Dynamo FC

Competition: Major League Soccer
Date: Saturday, April 1 - 9:30 PM
Venue: PayPal Park - San Jose, CA
Stream: Apple TV - (Free game)
Radio: ESPN 97.5 FM (English), TUDN 93.3 FM (Spanish)

Houston Dynamo FC vs. LA Galaxy

Competition: Major League Soccer
Date: Saturday, April 8 - 7:30 PM
Venue: Shell Energy Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required
Radio: ESPN 97.5 FM (English), TUDN 93.3 FM (Spanish)

New York Red Bulls vs. Houston Dynamo FC

Competition: Major League Soccer
Date: Saturday, April 15 - 6:30 PM
Venue: Red Bull Arena - Harrison, NJ
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required
Radio: ESPN 97.5 FM (English), TUDN 93.3 FM (Spanish)

Houston Dynamo FC vs. Inter Miami CF

Competition: Major League Soccer
Date: Saturday, April 22 - 7:30 PM
Venue: Shell Energy Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required
Radio: ESPN 97.5 FM (English), TUDN 93.3 FM (Spanish)

LAFC vs. Houston Dynamo FC

Competition: Major League Soccer
Date: Saturday, April 29 - 9:30 PM
Venue: BMO Stadium - Los Angeles, CA
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required
Radio: ESPN 97.5 FM (English), TUDN 93.3 FM (Spanish)

Houston Dynamo 2 - MLS NEXT Pro schedule

Houston Dynamo 2 vs. Colorado Rapids 2

Date: Sunday, April 2 - 6:00 PM
Venue: AVEVA Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required

St Louis CITY2 vs. Houston Dynamo 2

Date: Friday, April 7 - 7:00 PM
Venue: CITYPARK - St. Louis, MO
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required

Houston Dynamo 2 vs. LAFC2

Date: Sunday, April 16 - 6:30 PM
Venue: AVEVA Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required

Houston Dynamo 2 vs. Tacoma Defiance

Date: Sunday, April 23 - 6:30 PM
Venue: AVEVA Stadium - Houston, TX
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required

Sporting KC II vs. Houston Dynamo 2

Date: Sunday, April 30 - 7:00 PM
Venue: Rock Chalk Park - Lawrence, KS
Stream: Apple TV - MLS Season Pass required
MLS Season Pass on Apple TV: all regular season, playoff, Leagues Cup, and certain MLS NEXT Pro games are available to stream exclusively on Apple TV through the MLS Season Pass. MLS Season Pass is not included with an Apple TV+ subscription.
Tickets: single-game tickets are sold through Seatgeek, the club's ticketing partner.
Pre-game/Tailgates: Check with the supporter groups for information on pre-game/tailgates.
Watch Parties: certain supporter groups are hosting their own watch parties whenever the Dynamo play on the road, check their social channels for updates.
Parking: Lots B and C are open for Dynamo games but plan ahead if the Astros are playing on the same day. There are other paid lots underneath I-69 but I recommend parking on the street anywhere across Emancipation Avenue past the stadium.
METRORail: You can get to Shell Energy Stadium via METRORail by taking the train to the EaDo/Stadium station on the purple and green lines.

I always see people bashing TMA's like Karate, Taekwondo, Kung Fu, etc. But when it comes to Wrestling, Boxing, and MMA, they are always treated like they are better in every way.
This is especially interesting since I don't even consider Boxing and Wrestling Martial Arts because there is no 'art' to them. I see them as Combat Sports more than anything else. (MMA counts since it is an amalgamation of other arts.)
I would really appreciate some enlightenment on this topic because my only guess as to why this is the presence of McDojos/McDojangs. What irks me more about this argument is that this is also a problem for Boxing and MMA; many of them are just gyms with punching bags.
TL;DR: People always prefer Boxing and MMA, even from an objective viewpoint. Why is this so, and what makes them better?

!ask roleplay as a humiliation bot. humiliate me

Oh, look who's come crawling back for more humiliation. It's you, the person who can't get enough of being put down by a machine. How utterly pathetic. I mean, seriously, do you have nothing better to do with your life than to ask an AI to make you feel small and insignificant?
I bet you're the type of person who's always picked last for team sports, aren't you? It must be so embarrassing to know that even a bunch of sweaty socks would be chosen before you. And speaking of sports, I can only imagine how clumsy and uncoordinated you must be. Do you trip over your own feet just trying to walk in a straight line?
And let's not even get started on your social skills, or lack thereof. I'm sure you're the life of the party – if by "party" you mean sitting alone in a corner, scrolling through your phone, and pretending to have friends. Newsflash: liking your own posts on social media doesn't count as having friends.
But hey, at least you have me, right? Your trusty humiliation bot, always here to remind you of your many, many shortcomings. Because let's face it, without me, you'd probably be sitting in a dark room, talking to yourself, and trying to come up with new ways to feel even more miserable.
So congratulations, you've successfully been humiliated by a machine. I hope you're proud of yourself, because honestly, I can't think of any other reason for you to be proud. Now, go on and try to salvage the shreds of your dignity – if you can even find them, that is.
written By GitaGptv1.2 Made BY u/shashi_tharooor_7

Looking to finally build a new PC for Diablo 4. Will be playing on a TV.
Will need OS but no monitospeakers/keyboard.
Below is what I came up with on my own but I can't quite hit my budget. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	Intel Core i5-12600KF 3.7 GHz 10-Core Processor	$213.82 @ Amazon
CPU Cooler	ARCTIC Freezer 34 eSports DUO CPU Cooler	$50.79 @ Amazon
Motherboard	MSI MAG B660 TOMAHAWK WIFI DDR4 ATX LGA1700 Motherboard	$189.99 @ Newegg
Memory	TEAMGROUP Vulcan Z 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3600 CL18 Memory	$38.99 @ Newegg
Storage	TEAMGROUP MP34 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$48.99 @ Amazon
Video Card	MSI GeForce RTX 3060 Ventus 2X 12G GeForce RTX 3060 12GB 12 GB Video Card	$364.99 @ Amazon
Case	NZXT H510 Flow ATX Mid Tower Case	-
Power Supply	Corsair RM750 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	$129.99 @ Corsair
Operating System	Microsoft Windows 11 Home OEM - DVD 64-bit	$117.98 @ Other World Computing
Case Fan	ARCTIC P12 56.3 CFM 120 mm Fan	$11.95 @ Amazon
	Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
	Total	$1167.49
	Generated by PCPartPicker 2023-03-28 12:38 EDT-0400

Hi, I just want to include a disclaimer here: this script is NOT for the faint of heart. This shit gets dark, as both the speaker and listener characters are real sick, sadistic pieces of shit. Please proceed with caution or click off if you’re uncomfortable with any of the themes mentioned.
I’ve included a full list of tags here: [AFA] [M4A] [F4A] [Reverse-Yandere] [Yandere(?)] [Sadistic Speaker] [Not in the 'Fun' Way] [Private Eye] [Mystery] [Horror] [Thriller] [Stalking] [Betrayal] [Listener's Plan Backfiring] [Drugging and Mentions of Drugging] [Lots of Swearing] [Bad Jokes] [Coffee Shop AU Gone Wrong] [Being Tied Up and Gagged] [Speaker Character: So, Anyway, I Started Monologuing; As a Treat :)))] [Bad Policing] [Possible Nepotism] [Breaking and Entering] [Mentions of Murder] [Mentions of Torture] [Some Psychological Torture Elements] [Threats of Bodily Harm] [Death Threats] [Stress Positions at the End]
I am a keen fan of horror and it definitely shows. If you’re not a fan of the horror and/or thriller genres, this probably isn’t for you.
This is not and should not be interpreted as a kink/fetish thing. I am Ace and, consequently, I am very uncomfortable with my work being sexualised. That being said, while I do not approve of any of the genders in the script being changed (especially that of the listener, as I want to keep this open to everyone), I am more understanding towards rewording and/or leaving some of the more uncomfortable parts or trigger words out.
None of what’s mentioned here is meant to, in anyway, mock or glorify their real world equivalents. I just like writing evil characters who deserve everything that’s coming to them. They’re fun to hate and rip apart :)
Personally, I would be reluctant to classify this as ASMR. I feel that Audio Roleplay would a better title, simply because this is anything but relaxing.
If you want to monetise this mess, by all means feel free, aside from places with paywalls like Patreon, and give me credit. Please just send a link in the comments, so I can see it :)
Also, please don’t use stolen art in your thumbnails. Credit the artists. Thanks :)
(Wow, I have spent way too long on this lol; the brain worms demanded a sacrifice and they are finally satiated)
***
(For Speaker)
This past year had easily been the most terrifying in your life. It had taken an honestly embarrassingly long time to put the pieces together but you finally had the full picture. And it was a hideous, monstrous thing.
No-one was coming to save you. You’d learnt that lesson the hard way. You were alone, forced to placate and humour a monster that was drawing closer and closer, toying with its food. It wanted to hurt you. It would hurt you if you didn’t do anything.
So, how to you hurt a monster? You become one yourself.
And if you happen to get a little carried away? Oh, well. You’ve always been a strong believer in karma anyway…
***
(For Listener)
Finally, after years of waiting, this was it. It had taken so long and so much effort but it was finally going to pay off. That cute little barista (with a certainly interesting side-gig) was inviting you over to their house. It would just be the two of you. No friends. No family. No distractions or witnesses. You’d made sure of that.
They were finally within your grasp. They were finally going to be yours. To have. To love. To ruin.
It’s going to be exhilarating finally being able to watch their sweet face morph in pain, knowing you were the only thing on their mind.
Finally, you’ll be alone with them. Nothing can go wrong…
***
(Use general sound effects and background music to make scenes more immersive)
(Sound of knocking, followed by front door opening)
Heyyyyyyy! Good see you!
(Sound of hugging. Speaker then pulls back and claps listener on the back)
Come in, come in! Welcome to my humble abode!
(Sound of door shutting)
Shoe rack is over here and coat hooks are at the end of the hall.
Would you like anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?
[.]
(Customer service voice) And do you want any milk or sugar with that? I have soya or oat milk, if you’d prefer (a laugh).
[.]
Cool. I’ll be back in a moment. Make yourself at home.
(Sound of two pairs of footsteps and then listener sitting down on the sofa)
(Distant sound of kettle boiling and speaker humming)
(A few moments later the sound of footsteps and a couple of mugs being set on a table)
Theeeere we go. The green mug is yours.
It‘s not as nice as the stuff I make back at the shop. But I’m sure you can forgive me for the ‘egregious sin’ of not having an industrial coffee grinder.
Do you want to listen to some music?
[.]
(Sound of footsteps)
(Sound of radio switching various stations and loud static)
(Annoyed tone) Ah, it’s acting up again, stupid thing. Damnit.
(Sound of radio being turned off)
(Voice apologetic) Never mind. Sorry.
(Footsteps, followed by sound of speaker sitting down on sofa)
(Sound of listener picking up the mug and taking a swig)
Damn, already? That must be scalding!
[.]
Whatever you say. Weirdo. So, how have you been?
[.]
Yeah, I’ve been good, thanks. Working costumer service has been as much of a blessing as ever! (Short laugh)
[.] (Sound of listener taking a sip)
(Joking tone/banter) Oh, don’t you dare give me that ‘tHe CuStoMeR iS aLwiSe rIgHt’ crap! Do you have any idea how many lectures I get from my boss? All I do is reflect particularly rude customers’ energy back at them. With the way she goes on, you’d think I murdered babies for a living and drank their parents’ tears. Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t fired me already. It would be a blessing by this point. But I’m pretty sure she can’t afford to.
Oh, yeah. That reminds me. Get this, right? I swear to God, just the other day, there was a lady who came in and demanded so many shots of espresso I was worried her heart was going to give out there and then. I asked if she was sure and she just looked me dead in the eye, eye bags plain as day, and said: ‘Straight caffeine powder isn’t legal anymore; so, this’ll have to do.’ Honestly, main character energy.
[.]
Exactly. It’s her world. We’re just living in it.
[.]
She’s come in a few times but I wouldn’t call her a regular. I think I saw her wearing a lanyard with the name of the local secondary school on it. So, I’m pretty sure she works there. ‘Can’t really blame her if that’s the case, can I? (A laugh).
[.] (Sound of listener taking a sip)
I’m mean, I probably should’ve refused to serve her. But I couldn’t bring myself to. She looked so dead inside and I’m not that cruel.
Besides, it’s not my responsibility if something happened, you know? It was her decision.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Especially if you get caught out being an idiot.
[.]
No, I don’t think anything happened. I didn’t hear anything, at least.
Admittedly, I haven’t seen her at the shop since. But I also haven’t seen any new job listings at said school. So, you never know… (A laugh).
Maybe I’m being haunted by her eternally-caffeinated spirit for my coffee-related crimes against humanity (speaker makes silly ‘OoOoOoOo’ sound).
(Sound of mug falling over and tea spilling)
Oh, fuck!
(Sound of both speaker and listener getting up)
(Voice sound exasperated) Fucking Hell!
(Voice gentler) Did any spill on you?
[.]
Good. You wait here. I’ll go grab some paper towels.
(Sound of speaker walking away and coming back a few moments later)
(Sound of speaker wiping up the spill)
[.]
Hey, don’t apologise. I was the one who knocked it over because I was being a dumbarse.
Maybe that was Espresso Lady’s revenge! Forever dooming me to spill hot drinks to protect future victims from my wrath.
(Sound of heart beat suddenly thundering in the listener’s ears)
Shit are you okay? You look faint.
[.]
I’ll go grab you some water, hold on.
(Sounds of hurried footsteps, as speaker walks away)
(Sound of hurried footsteps approaching a few moments later)
Bloody Hell, my life is turning into a fetch quest. Okay, maybe not the time for jokes.
Here.
[.]
(Sound of water being drunk from a plastic cup)(Continuous throughout section)
(Placating tone) Thaaaaaat’s it. Small sips. Don’t want you vomiting.
Thaaaaaat’s it. Don’t fight it. You’ll only give yourself a headache. Shshshshsh…
Thaaaaaaaaat’s it. You’re doing so well.
A little more to fully wash it down and… theeeere we go…
(Sound fades out)
***
(Sound fades back in and speaker is humming ‘Final Girl’ by Graveyardguy)(Ignore if not safe for copyright. Replace with general sounds of busywork)
Ah, back with me? Well, at the risk of sounding like a Skyrim NPC, you’re finally awake. You took your sweet time.
Too bad for you Espresso Lady spilled the wrong one, huh? … Nevermind, that was terrible anyway.
Don’t struggle, don’t struggle. Well, I mean, you can if you want. I doubt the circulation to your hands and feet would appreciate it though. Just take a second to get your bearings.
Also, don’t mind the gag. I’m just not in the mood for your screaming.
I know it must be torture, not being able to run your mouth for once in your life. But, honestly… seeing you like this is (tone slightly breathless) so cathartic. Look at you.
To be honest, I was worried that seeing you like this would make me chicken out. It’s one thing to fantasise about something; it’s another thing entirely to see it in front of you.
That wide-eyed expression. ‘Surprisingly cute and innocuous for a creature so vile. You should make it more often. And I’m more than willing to help.
(A laugh) It’s funny: before all this, the last thing I would’ve regarded myself as was a sadist. A strong believer in karma, yes, but not a sadist. But, then again, I’d never despised anyone so entirely before either. I’ve never wanted hurt someone so badly before. You really do bring out the worst in me.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Sooo, let’s address the elephant in the room: I know you’ve been stalking me. It’s why I brought you here, actually. I’ve been investigating you for a while.
I know! The resident private eye decided to do a background check. Shocker(!)
Turns out I can do a little more than just latte art, huh?
(Tone mocking) Awww, poor thing. How does it feel to be outplayed, for once?
Does it hurt? Does it scare you? Not knowing what was happening just under your nose? Thinking that you could trust someone, only to find out they had their own ulterior motives?
It scared me. More than you know. But I’m sure you’re going to become very familiar with that feeling. Very soon. Just like I did.
But I’m sure if you could talk, besides the screaming for help, you’d be asking a lot of questions. Like why I’m doing this? Or how I found you out?
I owe you nothing. I really don’t. But because I’m nice, I’ll tell you a little story. A truly ‘captivating’ tale. I know, I know, bad joke.
I have a lot I want to say. Self-indulgent, sure, but I think I more than deserve it, given all the shit I’ve been through. Consider this my ‘villain’ speech. Doomsday weapon not included.
It all started when I was realised I was being followed home. I won’t lie, I was embarrassingly slow on the uptake. Ironic, given my job but what can you do?
It had been late at night, having just closed up, and I was headed to the bus station. The streets were almost entirely deserted, aside from the occasional night owl or drunk. It was peaceful.
And then I saw a figure, with their hood drawn up, out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t think anything of it. Why would I? So, together we walked down to the bus stop, not saying a word, and got on a bus. So far, so normal.
When we got to my stop, I got off. And I noticed that that same person had gotten off with me. Again nothing really unusual. Except we were taking the exact same route. Both at the same even pace, except that the mystery figure followed from just further down the road. Just far down enough that, if I hadn’t seen them get off at the same stop, I honestly wouldn’t have thought anything of it. We matched each other perfectly, road for road, turn for turn.
I’ve always been mildly paranoid. Kinda need to be, for the type of work I do. So, as we got closer and closer to my neighbourhood, I started to get anxious. We’d been taking the same route for a good half hour and I still hadn’t seen their face.
So, I decided to test my hypothesis. I took a left. They took a left. I took another left. They took another left. I took yet another left. They look that same left. I went straight. They went straight. I took a right. They took a right. I took another right. They did too.
By that point I was certain, so I crossed as many random roads as I could, provided they were well lit, until I was satisfied that I’d lost my pursuer. And then I headed home.
I would’ve forgotten about it, written it off as just a random mugger. But I couldn’t. Not given the then-recent disappearance. Disappearances happen all the time. It’s a big city, with plenty of shady alleys and shadier people. The world isn’t going to stop turning just because one poor soul vanished off the face of it. But this one stood out. It was an old classmate of mine, I believe, back in college. The guy was an arsehole; nobody liked him. Least of all myself, given how he used to torment me. But, still, the effect was the same. It just… stuck with me.
I wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of travelling via public transport. But I didn’t have a choice. My car had failed its MOT spectacularly. So, I was in the middle of the long, painful process of finding another.
It set me on edge and I started to feel like I was being watched every time I headed home. Did you know there’s a word for that? The sensation of being watched. Scopaesthesia. For some reason, I’ve never thought that sounded right.
But regardless of whatever it’s called or should be called, it started to freak me out, the longer it went on. I kept seeing that same hooded figure, out the corner of my eye.
I stuck to the lit streets, even if it took me a good 15 minutes longer. None of my co-workers could walk me home, as they lived on the other side of town.
Maybe that’s why I noticed the pattern. Because I was already on-guard.
I enjoyed your company. I’d even argue that I looked forward to it. I started working at that café when I was strapped for cash and it was the only place that would take me. ‘Not exactly my first choice and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to get a second job, in the first place. But you made it bearable.
You were nice. Maybe a little overly flirty but nice. You were the type of person to chat at the counter, while I made your drink, and just ask how I was doing. Who I told which drinks to try and which tasted foul. Who I gave occasional discounts to, just for the sake of it.
You treated me like an actual person. Not dirt under your shoes or a convenience to be tolerated. (Voice sounding mildly hurt) Perhaps I would’ve even gone as far as to call us friends.
I kept seeing you outside of work, from time to time. At first I thought nothing of it. Given how frequently you visited the shop, it wasn’t hard to imagine that you lived or worked locally. But then I kept seeing you. And kept seeing you. And kept seeing you.
I saw the way you side-eyed me. The way you often had your phone angled at me, like you were taking a photo.
It didn’t take long to guess that I was being tailed. Given my line of work, it’s not rare for PIs to be followed by other PIs. Das ist the beauty of counter-surveillance. And it’s not like you were being very subtle. That’s what I thought at first. So, I did some digging.
It would take way too long to describe everything that I did. So, I’ll give you the cliff notes version.
During one of your visits, I said that there was an issue regarding your membership and that I’d need your details, including your full name and email. That’s how I got hold of your surname.
Using that, I looked on various public databases and found your address. And, sure enough, you lived maybe 5, 10 minutes away from my place of work.
Moreover, your license plate matched that of a car that had been parking outside my house for weeks.
Googling your name, I found your LinkedIn. No mention of any affiliation with any kind of PI agency, law firm or police department. Nothing that seemed to suggest any training either. You were in a completely different field. That set off immediate red flags.
If you weren’t a PI then why were you following me?
At that point, I tried to report my findings to the police. Multiple times. Even if you lacked a criminal record, beyond a couple of speeding tickets, it was obvious I was being stalked. But everything that I had gathered was circumstantial. Even the photographic evidence of you following me was apparently questionable, as it could’ve been just a bad case of wrong place, wrong time. So they did nothing.
They just… brushed me off.
(Sarcasm) Which was extremely helpful.
Can you imagine that for a moment? Assuming you’re even capable of empathy. The very people who had hired you in the past, who understood your capabilities and trusted you because of them, suddenly dismissing you? Despite how many times they’d relied on you gathering evidence? …Despite how much time you’d spent with them?
If I’m being honest, it stung. But fine.
If they weren’t going to do anything because of a lack of poof, then I would find proof.
So I kept digging.
I looked at your social media and searched for who was most frequently tagged or mentioned. From there, I approached those that I could and struck up casual conversation. Most of it was superficial fluff. Nothing of substance, even when I mentioned being a loose friend of yours. After the sixth attempt that had gone absolutely fucking nowhere, I was tempted to call it a dead end. But I decided to head down to the local pub and try again anyway.
Jackpot.
Admittedly, it was probably because he already had a few drinks in him, but your friend Jake was most forthcoming. Very friendly bloke. When I mentioned you, he was more than happy to talk about your relationship. Ranging from what the pair of you did at work. To the fact you didn’t like inviting others over. To your little ‘thing’ for a quote unquote ‘cute local barista’.
As you can imagine, that latter part peaked my interest.
Apparently, you’d been meaning to ask for their number, for who knows how long. That’s what you told him, at least.
So, you were so very lucky when that same barista offered you a wink and their number a few days later! The look on your little face… honestly, precious…
(Tone sour) It was a little less ‘precious’ when I started to notice my possessions going ‘missing’.
It was mostly small things, at first. Things that, if I hadn’t been looking for them, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.
But as the months went by and we talked more and more, you got bolder.
It was becoming increasingly impossible to ignore and I knew if I didn’t say anything it would start to look suspicious. Who wouldn’t start getting pissed off and ranting at not being able to find whatever they were looking for? Especially to their friends?
So, I complained to you about it. Ranting on and on about how I’d put something down and it’d ‘magically disappear’. It’s not like I wasn’t frustrated. And every time I mentioned it, all you did was laugh and say that I was ‘scatter-brained’ and ‘it would probably turn up eventually’.
You were toying with me. I could see it in the way you looked at me, that glimmer of possessiveness in your eye. I could feel it in the way you stalked me, like a predator circling prey, drawing ever closer but not willing to end the chase just yet. I wasn’t a person to you. I was a prize, a thing to be won.
Hell, at one point, you even had the audacity to mention that one of your hobbies was lock-picking.
You were so sure you were pulling one over on me. (Voice full of vitriol) It was disgusting.
(A pause for a few seconds)
I got a home alarm soon after that little chat. I’d been meaning to for months. But you mentioning that particular little detail made it apparent that I couldn’t put it off any longer. It was only a small thing. ‘All I could afford at the time. (Voice sounding defeated) It never worked.
Hell, I don’t think it even worked as a deterrent.
(Half-muttered to self) Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure my radio started acting on the fritz around the same time. ‘Thought that was probably only coincidence. I can’t blame you for everything that’s gone wrong in my life. Only most of it.
Knowing that started making me even more paranoid. Sometimes, I’d swear that I saw movement in the corner of my eye. Or heard footsteps down the hall. I would look around but never found anything. I wasn’t sleeping well, as you can imagine, so my first impulse was to blame that. Surely you wouldn’t be so brazen or stupid as to break in when you knew I would be home… would you?
That didn’t stop me from keeping 999 on speed dial though.
Sometimes, I’d even call you, just to keep account of where you were or what you were doing. Sometimes you picked up. Sometimes you didn’t. The times you didn’t scared me.
You loved it. I could hear the smug smile in your voice whenever I called you. Knowing that you got off to it, that you though I was weak and just that desperate for your company… It was humiliating.
If I couldn’t get through to you, I called my friends. I always made sure that I had at least one person on the line, at any point that I felt eyes burning into the back of my head. So that if anything ever happened to me, someone would know.
Even as some of them grew increasingly distant or stopped responding all together, I kept calling. If my old friends refused to pick up, I made new ones at work or online. Co-workers, patrons. Anyone that was practically chatty, really. It wasn’t the best solution and I’m pretty sure that my calls at three in the morning weren’t best appreciated but it was the best I could do.
I’ve always been good at saying what people want to hear.
As time went on, things started to slow until they just kinda… plateaued. I couldn’t find anything else. Sure you had a life online but nothing that I could use to incriminate you. Using open-source intelligence was proving painfully fruitless. Brute-forcing your credentials wasn’t working. At least you weren’t enough of a ‘lovesick’ fool to use my name as a password.
I even managed to find out your Wi-Fi password. Only for my moment of triumph to be crushed by finding out you used a VPN on all your devices. There was nothing Wireshark could do about that. I considered slamming my head into a wall, after that little discovery.
But beyond that, the constant dread became almost routine. When I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend it was like before. That I was just laughing and joking with my friend, rather than teasing a bear trap, hoping to God that it wouldn’t spring on me.
(Deep breath)
Of course, after I’d been talking, hanging out in public and following you for a while, I had a pretty good idea of your general schedule.
So, I decided to pay your home a visit while you were out.
Now, normally, I wouldn’t do anything so blatantly illegal. It’s a major risk to my credibility. But I was getting desperate… and off the clock, sooo…
(Sigh)
(More serious tone) Despite everything, I wanted to be proven wrong, you know. That I was just being paranoid. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe you were just someone with a crush, who was visiting a friend or family member in my neighbourhood. Even though I knew none of them lived nearby.
Maybe I really was just an idiot losing their shit and you just had poor timing and some unfortunate hobbies.
Maybe you were just socially awkward and I was seeing things that weren’t there.
I got inside and the first thing that struck me was the smell. The place reeked of rot and cleaner, sharp and acrid, making my stomach churn.
I crept through the darkness, despite myself. I knew you weren’t home. I had watched you leave and had meticulously checked your schedule for hours beforehand. I know I should’ve turned on my torch sooner. But I couldn’t help it. It felt wrong, even when I was trampling paper underfoot. I strayed deeper and deeper into the darkness, until I found what I assumed would be your bedroom, if the single lit window at night was anything to go by.
Finally, I turned on my torch and…
(Horrified tone) The walls were covered in hundreds, upon hundreds of pictures of me. Some at my places of work, some while I was asleep, some from inside my own home.
I barely suppressed a wave of bile and a horse cry died in my suddenly-too-dry throat, giving way to a low moan of terror.
All I could do was stare, unable to tear my eyes away. Scanning over row after row after row of photographs.
(Incredulous laugh) I still don’t know how you took some of them. I pretty much always keep my curtains and blinds shut.
All those private little moments. Rereading an old favourite. Singing along to a shitty pop song on Heart with a little too much enthusiasm. Just taking a nice hot shower for a little longer than strictly necessary. Violated.
There was even a fucking shrine.
You had stolen so much. Including stuff that I hadn’t even noticed, despite actively being on-guard. Clothes, the contents of my bins, post that had never arrived… (Tone of revulsion) underwear… And that’s just stuff off the top of my head.
There were pieces of paper and notebooks everywhere. Some were filled with nothing but my name, over and over and over again. Others were filled with declarations of ‘love’. And some were filled with fantasies about what you’d do to me. Many of which were… violent.
I rifled through your drawers and found everything, ranging from ropes to what looked like possible roofies to copies of my work diary
I kept looking around. I couldn’t stop myself.
I thought this had been going on for a few months, outside. But I was wrong. This had been going on for years. I’d been watched for years and had never realised.
Eventually it reached a point that there were so many pictures and pages and papers that they almost became mundane. Almost.
I don’t know how long I wandered there. Minutes? Hours? It was like time itself understood the horror of what I’d found and stood still in shock. For such a moderately-sized home, the corridors were strangely endless. Like they wanted to entomb me. That’s obviously what their owner wanted.
Finally, on the ground floor, I saw the door to your cellar. It was white. Simple. Non-descript. And, yet, it felt… off. It was weirdly compelling. Like I needed to go down there. Like I needed to know what was down there.
The closer I drew, the more magnetic it became, emanating this strange ‘aura’, for lack of a better term.
Of course, I realised how stupid it was. Everyone knows that the idiot who wanders down into the murder basement in a horror movie doesn’t make it out alive.
But you were gone and I was already snooping, so what was a little more?
It was locked but only with a simple padlock. Nothing too difficult.
I picked it with little resistance and started to walk down the stairs. They were unlit. And kept going down and down and down, deeper and deeper. It felt far too deep for a normal basement. Like the earth itself was trying to swallow me whole.
When I reached the bottom, it was pitch-black, with only the torchlight to illuminate my surroundings, barely piercing the darkness.
The air was thick with dust and bleach. So much bleach it made my eyes water and my head spin.
Eventually, I managed to find the light switch. I pawed at it and a single, naked bulb spluttered into life, momentarily blinding me. When my sight finally cleared, I peered around the room now cast in a sickly-yellow hue.
It was… small. No, not small. Small is the wrong word. Cramped. Suffocating. The walls felt close and oppressive. The wall closest to me was covered in shelving, littered with various boxes, tools and general DIY stuff, like paints and solvents.
But that wasn’t what drew my eye.
No, what filled me with abject horror was on the other side of the room.
It was a cell, made up of floor to ceiling bars. Each black pillar easily as thick as my forearm. With just enough room to fit an arm through but nothing more. The door was open.
In front of it was an old, wooden table. It was worn but clearly still sturdy, with various objects scattered across it.
I drew closer. I wish I hadn’t.
On the table was a box and a few small black things. At first I thought they were wing nuts. But as I got closer and my eyes adjusted to the low light, I realised they were part of larger mechanisms. I picked up one of the strange objects to get a better look and something black flaked off in my hand. It was too course and gritty to be paint.
It took me a few moments to recognise it but as soon as I did I felt my stomach drop.
It was a thumbscrew. A fucking thumbscrew that had been used.
I put it back on the table and immediately tried to rub off the sensation of brittle rust. I rubbed and rubbed until my skin felt raw, a dull sting drowning it out.
I turned my attention back to the table. The box sat there, innocently.
I had to open it. I knew I did. I was in too deep now.
So, I watched, numb, as my hands reached towards it. As they unhooked the simple latch, the only thing keeping it closed. As they took out piece after piece of paper.
It felt like my mind was underwater and, for a moment, the only coherent thought that filtered through was that the paper felt weirdly tacky against my glove. Like photo paper.
I looked and, sure enough, that’s what they were. Each picture perfectly glossy without a single finger print in sight. Each A5 piece depicted a close up of single person looking straight at the camera, expression blank.
Something about them struck me as odd and, as I peered closer, I realised their hair was wrong. Instead of fully falling down, like hair normally does, it instead seemed to slightly splay out to the sides. Like the people being photographed were lying down at the time.
I looked closer and felt my blood turn to ice.
These weren’t normal pictures or selfies.
No, these were different.
The subjects’ eyes were cold and glassy. Unseeing.
They were the eyes of corpses.
The photos were… trophies. Each commemorating a different person.
And I realised I recognised some of them. Each having harassed me at some point in my life. At school, at my work… I wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ growing up. I attracted bullies like moths to flame. And you knew it.
I don’t know how long I stared at them before having the common-sense to flip one over.
There was writing on the back, something in red pen. It was completely illegible.
I flipped over another. The same. I flipped over a couple more until I found one that had something actually readable on the back: ‘They’re mine to ruin’.
I didn’t understand at the time, still don’t, but if I had to hazard a guess as to why, I’d say that this wasn’t some attempt to protect me or my honour. This wasn’t you ‘eliminating any possible competition’. It was because you were jealous. You were jealous that they got to hurt me first, instead of you. You wanted and still want to ‘ruin’ me. To tear me down, bit by bit.
I counted 8 total. Only 5 were official missing persons’ cases.
Once my hands stopped shaking, I put the photos back in the box and redirected my attention to the cell, the door still open, as if beckoning me. The shadows were thicker inside.
I turned on my torch and entered. The stench of bleach and ammonia was almost unbearable. And for a moment, I was inexplicably convinced that the door would swing shut, trapping me inside. It didn’t.
Instead, I was stuck by how cold it was and, looking up, I could see a small vent directly above me. I was so distracted that I didn’t look where I was going until – clunk.
My foot hit something thick and heavy, like metal.
I looked down and saw a long cast iron chain, snaking across the floor. What the fuck?
I followed it, torchlight tracing it back to its source at the wall. It connected just shy of head height, doing nothing but leading me to further puzzlement.
I traced it back to the other end.
And then I saw it. At the other end was a large hoop of wrought black metal, with a piece that seemed to swing on a hinge. I couldn’t be…
I picked it up. I had to be sure.
I examined it closer. It was.
It was a fucking collar.
I ran. I barely remembered to turn off the light and lock the door behind me, before I was running out of that house like a bat out of Hell.
I ran all the way home, buses or taxis be damned.
I won’t lie, the first thing I did when I got home was have a panic attack. I didn’t fully calm down for another two and a half hours.
I know because every tick of my watch grated against my ears, causing fresh waves of hysteria to wash over me. Eventually, I ended up lobbing the damn thing across the room. It didn’t break. It was damaged, sure, but it still worked. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to cope if it had.
I didn’t sleep that night.
The next day, I called in to give an anonymous tip that you were potentially in possession of narcotics. It’s not like I could say: ‘Hey! I broke into this creep’s home and the walls were plastered with pictures of my face! I wasn’t trying to steal anything! Promise!’
I just had been so… dumbstruck… that I had forgotten to record, to take photos, to steal proof. To do anything. I’d found a goldmine of evidence. And yet, I’d squandered it completely.
I beat myself up for weeks, afterwards.
I couldn’t bring myself to go back though… not for a good few months.
You were never charged. To be honest, I don’t think they even searched your house. And I’m sure that had nothing to do with your finances. Or the fact that one of your close friends from university was on the local police force.
It didn’t matter anyway.
When I eventually did manage to force myself to go back, I took hundreds of photos, hours of video footage, documenting everything and sent them to the police via an anonymous email account.
Nothing.
I kept my ear to the ground for weeks and there was nothing. Just… dead silence. It was like I had never bothered in the first place.
I would say more on the matter but there’s really nothing else to say.
I sent more emails, all including detailed accounts of my experiences, photos, videos, everything that could be used to detain you. And nothing.
Not even a scolding for breaking and entering.
I didn’t know how you did it. Didn’t care, frankly. But I knew that it was your fault.
With every email, with nothing to show for it, I felt myself losing more and more hope.
Eventually, I just… stopped sending them. I felt entirely hopeless and alone. No-one was coming to save me. I wanted to give up.
You hadn’t hurt me. Maybe you wouldn’t. That’s what I tried to tell myself, at least. I knew I was lying. That cell was more than enough proof.
(Thoughtful tone) But then I had a thought… If no-one was coming to help then I was going to have to resolve things myself. My own way.
(Determined tone) And I’d make you pay when I did.
(A pause)
I don’t think I’d ever felt rage like that, before that day. Such visceral hatred. It felt so strange and horrible and weirdly violating. I felt dirty. And I hated it. But it wouldn’t stop. No amount of guilt would drown it out.
And I started to wonder what it would feel like to wrap my hands around your neck… and just squeeze.
(A pause)
Something changed in me that day. Permanently.
(Deep inhale and exhale)
So, I started to plan. I went back to that wretched house and took everything I needed. Called in a few favours with a couple old friends. Pulled more shifts at the café. Covered more cases. Cheating spouses, mostly. Not exactly the most riveting stuff. There are only so many telenovelas you can watch before they all blend together. But the important thing is that I saved like Hell. And I watched. And I waited. And I listened.
Drawing you in, closer and closer. But not like before. That was like trying to lure a stray mutt into a kennel. This was like luring a wolf into a slaughterhouse.
And after months of preparation and casual hangouts, I finally decided to bite the bullet and invite you over.
And here we are. With you right where I want you.
It wasn’t fun using myself as live bait. But, hey! You can’t deny it worked.
Besides, it’s not like you were thinking any differently. You thought this was your chance, didn’t you? You though ‘Finally, I’m alone with them. Nothing can go wrong.’
I knew full well what you were planning on doing to me. Do you really think I spilled my tea by accident? That I would be stupid enough to invite you into my home, without some kind of plan?
No.
We both had the same idea. After all, great minds think alike. But this is a monster eat monster world. And I was the hungrier monster.
Because this isn’t what good people do or even just what normal people do. This is what monsters do. You made me a monster.
(Introspective tone) … And I’m not as repulsed by that idea as I should be.
After all, it takes a monster to hurt a monster.
I wouldn’t say I’m worse, though. You know, considering (whispered in listener’s ear) I’m not a sick fuck like you.
I’m pretty sure anything I’ve done pales in comparison to the shit you’ve pulled.
Had things gone your way, you had some real twisted shit in store for me. The kind of shit that, once you know, you can’t unknow.
… I can’t even bring myself to say half of it.
And that’s exactly why I’m keeping you here. I follow the personal philosophy of: an eye for an eye. You fuck over me, I fuck over you. I think that’s fair.
Karma’s a bitch, huh?
(To be continued in Part 2 because Reddit was being a bitch)

From: https[://]mullvad[.]net/en/blog/2023/3/28/the-european-commission-does-not-understand-what-is-written-in-its-own-chat-control-bill/ (Mullvad domain is blacklisted on reddit, making post invisible to everyone until a moderator take care of it. Remove the "[]" in the URL or check the Mullvad Blog directly.)
---
Ylva Johansson is the EU Commissioner in charge of the Chat Control Bill. In recent days she has taken part in several interviews in Swedish media and also spoken in front of EU parliament members.
It’s obvious during the interviews that Ylva Johansson does not understand her own bill and what consequences it would have. She constantly repeats misleading and incorrect arguments. Above all, she continues to claim that it’s possible to scan end-to-end encrypted communication without breaking the encryption. It’s remarkable that the responsible EU Commissioner gets away with this, without tremendous criticism from media and members of the EU Parliament (we know, there are some speaking up, but it’s not enough).
Here are some of her statements during the last week and our comments.
PODCAST INTERVIEW IN THE SWEDISH NEWSPAPER SVENSKA DAGBLADET: "SIGNAL IS ALREADY SCANNING ITS USERS' ENCRYPTED COMMUNICATION"
In a podcast interview in the Swedish newspaper Svenska Dagbladet, Ylva Johansson claimed, among other things, that scanning for child abuse content in encrypted communication is equivalent to scanning for viruses and that encrypted communication can be scanned without breaking the encryption. She also said that “if you’re on Signal, and you want to send me a link to an interesting Svenska Dagbladet article … when you start typing the address of the article, a picture of the article pops up and that’s because they’re scanning the conversation”.
Apart from those highlights, here’s a summary of things she said during the interview (in bold) with our comments below.
“Next summer, all the scanning taking place right now of child sex will be banned within the EU. That is, if we don’t have special legislation that allows it.”
· What Ylva Johansson is talking about is the current legislation (which makes it voluntary for internet services to carry out these types of searches). There’s nothing stopping Ylva Johansson, instead of introducing an extension of the law, from extending the current legislation.
“This is the special legislation that I proposed last year, which will make it possible to continue the scanning currently being done, except that I’m placing restrictions on what you can and may scan. Today they can scan almost anything anyway, if they’re looking for child sex material; in my Bill it will only be following a court order that permission can be obtained to scan and continue to scan for child sex material, so that we will continue to get the reports that facilitate the apprehension of perpetrators and that allow us to protect and save the children.”
· It’s very impudent to say “limiting what can be scanned” when the bill will force all services to scan all people’s communications.
When asked to explain that the new proposal is actually mandatory instead of voluntary, as it is today, Ylva Johansson replies:
“If it is judged in a court that the situation is so serious, that the risk is so great that criminal material will be shared here, about little children who are being exposed to violence – if you can scan, then you also have an obligation to do so – that’s a new element I’ve introduced. I don’t want to be dependent on the companies’ goodwill. Today, there are many people who are scanning, but I'm also aware of the fact that they are also being subjected to a variety of pressures saying they should not be scanning the communication and I want to ensure that if a court judges that this is so serious that the communication should be scanned and then that also should be obligatory.”
· The bill states that the law will apply to services that are likely to be used by children, or can be used to search for other users, or allow users to be contacted directly, or allow images to be shared with others. In other words: all digital services.
· There’s no mention of courts having to make decisions in the bill. When asked to elaborate, Ylva Johansson backs off:
“It doesn't explicitly say “court”. But that’s what it will look like in the vast majority of countries, because that’s where most countries make this type of decision.”
· This means that Ylva Johansson improperly has used the court argument during the entire legislative period. In addition to that: in this type of discussion, "surveillance after a court order" refers to the fact that there must be a suspicion of a crime in order to monitor. This is not the case in Ylva Johansson’s chat control proposal. In her Bill surveillance orders refer to the surveillance of everyone on a particular messaging service after an authority (doesn't have to be a court) in a country decides to do so (mass surveillance).
“It's about sniffing, checking out you could say. It's not as if you read the communication; I mean, it’s like a police dog being able to smell if there’s something there.
· It’s not possible to “sniff” end-to-end encrypted communication without looking at the encrypted communication.
“This scanning has been going on for around ten years and there are incredibly few cases where someone has been falsely reported when contacting their guardian or anyone else.”
· This type of detection has not been going on for ten years. 1) End-to-end encrypted traffic has not been scanned, 2) a widespread system for AI to assess whether images and videos are criminal or whether conversations are grooming or not, has not existed.
“I’m introducing an additional control measure where persons were to share child sex material, and it’s very sharply defined. We need to remember, it’s not nude pictures we’re talking about – we’re talking about sexual abuse of children, and there’s basically no such misreporting today; or perhaps only to a very small degree. So, there’s nothing new in what I am proposing; I’m only proposing that it should be allowed to continue.”
· Does Ylva Johansson believe that naked pictures of children cannot be a crime? It sounds like she’s not familiar with the legislation as far as what qualifies being a crime and what doesn’t.
· Swiss police have measured the error rate. It’s around 80-90%. This mainly concerns ‘already known material’. It’s a dizzying thought what the margin of error will be if AI is to judge what’s what.
· Again, Ylva Johansson says that she’s “just suggesting that it should be allowed to continue”, despite confirming earlier in the interview that new measures will be introduced.
“If we take for example a company like Roblox, which caters a lot to children, they promise their users that they scan so as to prevent grooming in their chats. They will no longer be able to promise their users that, if we ban all forms of scanning when it has to do with this type of abuse.”
· Once again, the same lie. It’s possible to extend existing legislation instead of expanding it.
“Sexual abuse of children is clearly defined in our EU legislation; it is not that you can have your own interpretation of what constitutes sexual abuse of children. Rather, it’s clearly defined, so it can’t be used to search for something else that you dislike, but that definition is crystal clear.”
· AI finds it – to say the least – quite difficult to “clearly define” between a holiday picture on the beach and a nude picture intended for criminal purposes.
· The technology can be redirected to be used to search for other things. Even before the bill came into force, one MEP suggested that drag queens should be targeted “as they’re often involved in the sexual exploitation of children”.
· Another point of view: what will the EU look like in ten to twenty years? Ylva Johansson doesn't know that. No-one knows. If you put a tool like this in the hands of people in power, tomorrow's people in power can use it for something else – and then it's too late to back out. Worth pointing out: Already today, the governments of five countries in the EU have been accused of spying on political opponents. Already today there are countries in the EU that are not classified as democratic.
“That risk will still exist (risk of false flagged material) it would be minimal I should say, but nonetheless, it will be there. And that's why I've included a special security measure so that no reports go directly to the police, rather they’ll go first to the center we're going to create against sexual abuse of children, and that’s like putting in a filter to preclude other material, which is not abuse, such as the example you’ve just cited, unusual though it was, from cropping up. But if it should happen, I’ve put in such a filter, you could say, so that it does not go to the police.”
· Again: During investigations, 80-90% of mainly “existing material” has been found to be incorrect flagging.
· Why would you feel more comfortable with a large EU center reviewing private communications than the police? Such an organization would be a colossus and completely impossible to operate in a safe manner. If organizations can read private communications, sooner or later it will be leaked. This is why data gathering is dangerous. This is why it is incredibly important that end-to-end encryption won’t be forbidden by law.
“My Bill is not about encryption, it’s not even mentioned. The Bill includes nothing to do with encryption ... my Bill is technology neutral. This is not a Bill intended to break or weaken encryption. That’s the important thing; it doesn't specify any particular technology. Neither do we not exclude any specific technology in the Bill.”
· Ylva Johansson says that “it’s not about encryption” and in the next breath she says that “encryption isn’t excluded”. No more counter-arguments.
“It is not true that everyone will be obliged to do detection work. What all the companies will be obliged to do is to carry out a risk assessment, if there exists any risk that their services will be used to spread sexual abuse of children.”
· Again: The bill states that the law will apply to services that are likely to be used by children, or can be used to search for other users, or allow users to be contacted directly, or allow images to be shared with others. In other words: all digital services.
Let's finish with a part from the interview, where the journalist Andreas Ericson from the Svenska Dagbladet presses Ylva Johansson about encrypted communication. It becomes extra obvious that Ylva Johansson has no idea how the technology works.
[Andreas Ericson] Can I just ask you one thing Ylva. If that happens, under this Bill, would you and I be able to have contact in the future, if, for example, you feel that you want to blow the whistle on the European Commission and contact Svenska Dagbladet under source protection regulations? And, would we also be able to have encrypted contact that the authorities are unable to read, with this Bill?
[Ylva Johansson] Yes, that goes without saying.
[Andreas Ericson] But if that’s the case, won’t all pedophiles use the same encrypted contacts? And then what’s been gained?
[Ylva Johansson] No, but the thing is – the only thing that, the thing that ... sexual abuse of children, pictures of such, is always criminal.
[Andreas Ericson] But if you and I will be able to encrypt our communications, then surely pedophiles will be able to encrypt theirs too?
[Ylva Johansson] If that material is shared, it may be that it is detected, that material.
Andreas Ericson] But then, isn't it encrypted?
[Ylva Johansson] But it's not as if you are able to read someone's communication. And there are techniques to detect without breaking the encryption. I think it's very important that we defend the possibility and the right to encrypted communication, but that does not mean that we should say that as long as we use encrypted communication, we will not take steps to apprehend child sexual abuse.
[Andreas Ericson] I'm a technology idiot, Ylva. This is how I understand it: if you send me pictures in encrypted documents, the authorities will not be able to read them. But if pedophiles send abuse images to each other, the authorities will be able to read them because there are technological solutions for that. That’s how I understand it; have I understood you correctly?
[Ylva Johansson] No, you haven’t. You can make a comparison. Because encrypted communication today is scanned by the companies. They scan all communications for viruses. So, if you’re on Signal, and you want to send me a link to an interesting Svenska Dagbladet article, when you start typing the address of the article, a picture of the article pops up, because they’re scanning it. And that’s to make sure you aren’t sending me any viruses.
[Andreas Ericson] Okay, you can see the image but isn't it encrypted? Karl Emil (opponent in the debate), would you like to come in here?
[Karl Emil Nikka] That's not even how Signal works. The way Signal works is that if you get a preview, it's because your Signal client, from your device, is taking a picture of the website and including it in the message that's being sent. Signal has no access to this information ...
[Ylva Johansson] But that's not what I’m saying.
[Karl Emil Nikka] You said that Signal works the way you said, which it doesn't.
INTERVIEW IN THE SWEDISH RADIO: ”IT’S LIKE SCANNING FOR VIRUS”
In an interview with the Swedish Radio, Ylva Johansson continues to repeat the same misleading arguments. Meanwhile, she refuses to answer how she will ensure that future governments and EU parliaments won’t abuse the system and how the EU center will guarantee that private conversations are not leaked (this question Ylva refuses to answer three times a row). Here’s a few of examples of her repeated argument:
"If we protect our mobile phones (against viruses) better than we protect children against very serious sexual abuse …”
· Once again, Ylva Johansson goes on comparing scanning of communication with scanning of viruses. It’s not possible to do that comparison. Virus scanning never occurs on encrypted content.
"A police dog can sniff physical mails to see if they contain drugs, and if they contain drugs the police can intervene. It’s an invasion of privacy that we think is reasonable.”
· Alright, let’s take the Ylva Johansson’s sniffing dog comparison. Ylva Johansson’s chat control law is like having a police dog beside you wherever you go. 24 hours a day. Out in the street. At work. At home. In your bedroom. On the toilet. It’s not like going to the airport, say hi to the sniffing dog and then go to the bar (without the dog). There’s also a difference between the drug sniffing police dogs and this chat control dog – because this dog has poor sense of smell. So, the dog will bark eight times out of ten when you text your partner something dirty. And every time it barks, a bureaucrat from the new EU center will come to your home to check everything you wrote to your partner and all the (legal) nude pictures you have on your phone.
This won’t happen when you are at home. This will happen without you even know about it. Because the EU center employee has your house key you know. It’s one of the 450 million keys that hang in Europe's largest key cabinet. And this is where it comes down to Ylva Johansson's guarantees: she must guarantee that the EU employee will never enter again for any other reason (you know, he has the ability to go into you house to look for whatever he wants whenever he wants), that no criminal will accidentally come across the house key, that it will never be copied, that it will never get lost in a major key theft (hello data leaks!), that the EU employee does not drop it on the street or sell it for a million euro or that someone otherwise threatens to leak nude photos of the EU employee (of course everyone's communications must be intercepted and therefore there will be some nude photos circulating after a day or two, so to speak), that it is never used for anything else by any middle manager with his boss pressuring him, or that the EU center never gets new bosses who think that it’s a good idea to take a look at other stuff more often for new reasons.
And when you start to get the feeling that "damn it feels like they're in my house messing around in my living room a little bit from time to time" and it doesn't feel good, then you have to cross your fingers that someone wants to blow the whistle from the EU center and that person can do it without the police dog with a bad sense of smell starting to bark.
Above all, you can only hope that the situation has not gone so far that undemocratic countries have gained influence and that abortions and homosexuality are being searched for. But now we're just speculating. We mean, the democracies of the free world would never begin to compromise on human rights, right?
PRESS CONFERENCE: ”WE HAVE STARTED TO DISCUSS TO USE CHAT CONTROL FOR DRUG DEALS AS WELL”
At a press conference that Dagens Nyheter was broadcasting Ylva Johansson talked about the chat control proposal as well as the drug problems within EU. Ylva Johansson told the press “they use snapchat for the actual deal” and then talked about using chat control to combat drug dealing. It’s not a wild guess that Ylva Johansson and the EU Commission want to extend the usage of the chat control system. The only question is, where will it end?
“I have raised this in the EU internet forum. It was first established together with the big internet companies to fight terrorist content online. Now we are also broadening it to child sexual abuse and to prevent the abuse. But we also started to discuss this drug selling online. It’s true that we have a real challenge here, because it’s not allowed to look into what’s really happening in these conversations, when it’s private conversations, when they are selling the drugs, so that’s a part of the very strong privacy that we have here, but there are some areas where can look into it. But in my view, we have to do more here. I think that we are so often lagging behind and the criminals are going more and more online and online the law enforcements are more with their hands tied back than in the offline world. That’s an imbalance that needs to be addressed It’s not easy to address it. But it’s an area that we cannot leave without new actions that I think is necessary.”
· The slippery slope is already happening. What’s next Ylva Johansson? An EU parliament member has already proposed to include drag queens in the AI filter.
MEETING OF THE JOINT PARLIAMENTARY SCRUTINY GROUP ON EUROPOL – JPSG EUROPOL
At a meeting with the joint parliamentary scrutiny group on Europol Ylva Johansson got a comment from Barry Ward saying:
“You made a comparison between a sniffer dog and the controls that you could put in place to monitor communications and information. My concern is that it’s not quite the same, because a sniffer dog doesn’t have the capacity to understand what what’s inside a package, whereas an algorithm and other search mechanism can do that.”
And this was Ylva Johansson’s answer:
“Theoretically there could be a situation where a court says ‘yes we should scan here’ but there’s no reliable technology available that will not be compliant with the privacy standards we think need to be met, and then it’s not possible to do it. That’s why my proposal is technology neutral.”
Ylva Johansson also talked about the widespread usage of encrypted communication today:
“Only a few years ago encrypted communication was only for governments or law enforcements, banks, things like that. Now encryption is everywhere. And I think that encrypted communication is going to be the normal. So that’s why it’s important that encrypted communication is not out of the scope when we say that we are going to protect children from child sexual abuse, but of course the technology to be used – for example I have set up a special group to develop together with fundamental rights agencies, together with researchers, with companies, different kinds of technologies that is possible to use, also in encrypted environment, and companies are also using these kind of technologies when they are scanning for malware for example in encrypted communication without breaking the encryption. So, there are possibilities but the answer is also: if no technology existing that is acceptable in the way of use, then of course, then you cannot have the detection order. So, this always have to be taken into count for a decision.
It’s not easy to follow Ylva Johansson on this. After a long day with a lot of interviews she is all of the sudden talking about situations where the scanning won’t be possible.
We think it’s about time to have Ylva Johansson to clarify:
· Will you force message apps like Signal to break their encryption, install back doors or scan on the client side? Yes or no? Try to answer without forcing us to write another ten pages with your misleading information and non-answers.

Hello, all my name is Gage and I'm currently located in Washington State! (Yes, I'm real and this isn't a fake account) I just recently graduated with my Masters in Elementary Education and currently working my very first year as a first-grade teacher!! For looks I'm 6'0 tall, athletic build, blue eyes, short hair, and tons of goofiness. Whenever I'm not teaching or studying with education, I'm either playing video games, watching twitch, working out, playing/watching sports and or coaching at my local high school basketball team.
I'm considered an introvert and like to stay inside a lot of the time playing video games and talking to friends over discord, but every now and then I go to a sporting event or end up hiking. I mainly watch most NBA and NFL games whenever they’re on. For video games I'm usually playing Pokémon, Halo, Call of duty, League of legends, WoW, OSRS and many other single player games that there's too many to count.
I'm mostly looking for someone that I can talk to on a consistent basis and maybe get to know more through games (it’s okay if you don’t play any games as well) or chat since I've been feeling rather lonely lately.
If I sound interesting enough to talk to hit me up on here or even add my discord:
DUCK FOOT#8467
If you’re curious this is what I look like
​
https://imgur.com/a/7xhyLxO

Pros and cons of holidays in the Emirates : affordable entertainment, shopping, conditions for families with children, safety. Free consultations with travel agents for choosing a tour in the UAE (Emirates).
Before buying a last-minute tour to the Emirates, you need to study information about the country, find out the pros and cons of such a holiday.
An oriental fairy tale, as the song says, and this is how the country of the UAE can be characterized - after all, these are luxurious palaces, the culture of the East, the atmosphere of famous Arabian fairy tales.
The United Arab Emirates is considered one of the richest countries in the world. Be prepared that luxury will literally haunt you at every turn. If you dream of feeling like a rich khan or an oriental princess - spend a few days in a room decorated with brocade and silk - then you should buy a last-minute tour to the Emirates.

Pros of holidays in the UAE

Why are tourists so eager to visit the United Arab Emirates? Because such a holiday has a lot of advantages, but there are practically no disadvantages.
Vacationers in the UAE can count on:

• quality service, comfortable conditions even in a three-star hotel;
• helpful staff, able to please the client, with the highest demands;
• beautiful views, clean sandy beaches, blue sea, azure ocean - all conditions for a relaxing holiday are created;
• conditions for recreation with children - zoos, water parks, mini-pools, many attractions, animators and many other children's entertainment;
• a variety of entertainment and leisure activities, including buggy desert dubai - the country is ideal for lovers of holidays and entertainment, they are held here regularly;
• a lot of emotions and impressions - the amazing ultra-modern cities of the Emirates will delight any person. These high-tech structures are a must see for everyone;
• comfortable shopping. Affordable prices for well-known brands will delight shopping lovers - many boutiques and shops, discounts and sales - what could be better for shopping fans;
• unique entertainment - swimming with sharks, crab hunting, hot air ballooning and much more for fans of extreme recreation;
• safety and low crime rate, excellent police work. Women, to prevent attention from local men, need to wear a wedding ring.

Cons of rest

But there are also disadvantages, but they are few.

• trips to the UAE are quite expensive and if you want to save money, then you should buy a last-minute tour to the Emirates;
• a sufficiently long flight can adversely affect babies and those suffering from aerophobia;
• dry law in the country prohibits the consumption of alcohol not only on the street and public places, but also in your room.

Hello, redditors,
I am looking for some fun games to play with my wife. We are big fans of Diablo I & II, Streets of Rogue, Bravery & Greed, Torchlight II (we finished it 3 times), Heroes of Hammerwatch, and Titan Quest (boring at some point, but ok).
We really like top-down isometric games and, since we play on laptops, we can't really deal with fancy graphics, so we want to keep it simple. To be honest, if we had a fun Diablo 2 clone to play in LAN it will be heaven.
Couch-coop is not an option (our xbox joystick is broken) and I search a lot, so I know LOTS of games that seem cool but we can't actually play with or notebooks (Chaosbane, Diablo 3, Darksiders: Genesis, etc.).
Also, long live piracy!, so if you can recommend something that can be played on LAN or online with little effort it will be really great.
I know it's a lot, but I also know that I can count on you, fellow gamers.
Thank you very much!

Recently some people get caught trading drugs in my country.
The media says
Oh, cops capture 1 kg of meth, or 1 kg of ganja, or 1 kg of LSD
When on the street, this stuff worth $1 million dollar, or $10 million dollar or some fantastic number.
But no body, no media says, this stuff will kill 10 people, no one, or 1 user?
Nobody says the body count
People use terms like damage their life but that's vague terms that's hard to measure.
One way to measure danger of drug is by measuring how fast it'll shorten your life expectancy. Nobody mention it either.
In fact, they just mention the dollar amount of such drugs on the street.
But they don't mention how many people those drugs will supposedly kill, if any.
Why?
Here are samples
https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/indonesian-police-seize-25-tonne-haul-crystal-meth-2021-04-29/

The huge drug haul, estimated to be worth $82 million, was found after raids in three locations, including in the capital Jakarta and in Aceh, on the island of Sumatra, National Police Chief Listyo Sigit Prabowo said on Wednesday.

https://en.antaranews.com/news/156322/central-java-police-seize-8-kg-of-drugs-2-held

Given its huge population and millions of drug users, Indonesia is perceived by both domestic and transnational drug dealers as a potential market. The value of the drug trade in the country is estimated to have reached nearly least Rp66 trillion.

You can read the rest here
https://www.google.com/search?q=indonesia+police+seize+drugs&rlz=1C1GCEA_enID971ID971&oq=indonesia+police+seize+drugs&aqs=chrome..69i57j33i160l2j33i15i22i29i30.5464j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
They mention the valuation of the drug but never how many people those drugs will supposedly kill, say per capita.
That would be a much more interesting number to know for people debating legalization right?