I have thoroughly enjoyed reading SpacePaladin15's the Nature of Predators series and all of the fanfics as well. I finally had enough inspiration to start writing my own. I haven't written anything like this since college so it has been a while. Please message me with any suggestions and constructive criticisms. I have never written in the 1st person so this is particularly new to me but I hope I stayed mostly true to the format set in the universe. This is only part one of I don't know how many but I have a detailed outline with 6 1/2 pages and this only took me to half a page of that.
I want to give a HUGE shout out to BiasMushroom who let me use some of their news reports, their character Talen, and gave me some direction for my story. I also want to thank YakiTapioca and SavingsSyllabub7788 for letting me use elements from their stories as well.
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Memory transcription subject: Leena, Capital Spaceport Logistics Coordinator
Date [standardized human time]: August 22, 2136
I opened my eyes to the dimly lit room. Confused, I looked at the blinds, they should be open. My eyes fell onto the cradle. The twins were still sleeping, their tails curled around each other. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table I could see why the blinds hadn’t opened. I still had almost a quarter claw before my usual waking.
My eyes shifted to the photo next to the clock. The day my husband and I celebrated finding out I was pregnant. Conflicting emotions of happiness and melancholy filled my mind. It was a wonderful memory but I couldn’t ignore the empty space next to me. The arxur had killed him before Vissa and Tas were born. With not enough time to go back to sleep and no desire to get up yet either, I reached for my holopad to check Prime News. The Anchor woman was mid-sentence when the feed buffered.
“-minion forces have attacked the research outpost hosting the Venlil-Human Exchange Program. The station defenders were able to defeat the raiding party with no damage to the station at all. We have received reports from the Governors Office that there were no venlil casualties resulting from the battle. However, the humans suffered over a hundred casualties and recovery efforts are ongoing. One fighter with a venlil and human pilots is missing in action. According to a source on the station, this defender was able to heroically lure away two of the arxur raiders and fled towards the Federation border. The whereabouts and well-being of the pilots is unknown. In Governor Tarva’s press release, her office stressed that the lack of venlil casualties was the result of the human copilots telling their venlil pilots to eject or in some cases even forcibly ejecting them in some cases.”
Why would predators save prey? We were nothing in their eyes. I can’t fathom how this played into their schemes. The blinds opened and the alarm went off. The twins stirred and I know it is time to get up and feed them. No more news. Set the holopad down and pick up the twins, check their diapers, nurse them, check their diapers again, play with them, hold them, sleep with them. Things had finally settled into a comfortable routine again.
This last [week] had been so hectic, the invasion sirens, Governor Tarva’s announcement about peaceful predators, and the closed borders. In a single day we became prisoners in our own space and our leader had all but withdrawn us from the federation. We had no protection anymore. Tarva ignored our protests outside her mansion and even encouraged people to talk to the predators. The only sensible thing to happen was the magistrates announcing they would activate all of the current and former extermination officers and increase recruitment. That was only two days. Vissa and Tas were done. I had been playing with them a while when mom called.
“Hi honey, how are you?”
Dad stepped into the frame. “How are the twins?”
I held the holopad over Vissa and Tas on the bed. The two seemed enraptured by the picture.
Dad cooed. “They are so precious.”
“We are doing better each day dad.” I laid on the bed next to Vissa and Tas and held the holopad so that mom and dad could see me and the twins. Tas reached for holopad while Vissa giggled.
Mom spoiled them with attention, wiggling her fingers at the camera, encouraging Tas. “We would love to come visit you and the kids. Oulo has a rest paw coming up soon. We should get their paw prints cast and take them to the park.”
“That sounds like a great idea. I know the twins would love to see you. I still have some extra train rides on my account from my maternity leave. Message me the details and I’ll book you both tickets.”
“You should save those dear, we can manage the tickets.”
I could see the worry in their tails however much they tried to hide it. “Dad, we don’t use the train in the capital. We use the trolley system to get around so I have extra train rides and I would love to have you. You know I could use the extra help with the babies.”
That won them over and it wasn’t a lie. Living in the capital meant we had more options for transportation. Plus, with the predators at their new complex, I haven’t been getting out except to get food or diapers.
“Oh, ok then. We wouldn’t want those to go to waste.” Dad nudged mom with his tail. “Tell her your good news.”
Mom, sat up and smoothed her fur excitedly. “I just got the news that I got the job at Vikki’s Flowers!”
“Mom, that’s wonderful! When do you start?”
“I start in 5 paws. I was honestly surprised they were hiring at all with things how they are.” When Tarva closed the borders, she cut off all trade with the federation and caused an economic crisis like we hadn’t seen in my lifetime.
“That is wonderful news and I hate to cut this short but it is about time to put them down for their nap. Send me the details and I’ll get you the tickets.”
“Rest well sweetie.”
“Goodbye mom, dad. See you soon.”
I ended the call and put the twins in their crib. Vissa was almost asleep already and Tas wasn’t far behind, despite his best efforts.
​
Memory transcription subject: Leena, Capital Spaceport Logistics Coordinator
Date [standardized human time]: September 1, 2136
The alarm started chiming and the blinds opened, flooding the room with light. Vissa and Tas started crying. Checking their diapers needed to be done first. I wish they would stop crying while I changed them. I turned on the news to watch while I fed them. Talen was back and he sported a bandaged head. Did the humans do that? He had only been at the Exchange Program for a couple days. What happened? Talen started his report.
“Breaking news. The venlil and human that have been missing in action since the arxur attack on the outpost station that was hosting half of the Venlil-Human Exchange Program on [August 21st], have made their way back to us in a stolen Federation craft.” Talen sighed. “The human, known as Marcel, was in critical condition, while his partner Slanek was injured but stable. We will now show you a recording of the incident. If you are prone to feinting or other outbursts, please block this show for the next [minute] as the contents of this video are quite disturbing.”
With the twins in my arms, I could not reach the holopad to do anything about the video. Prime news switched to a camera elevated above the humans, who were crowded around the docking bay, craning their necks to see their pilot as the ship finished the docking procedures. Human paramedics rushed through a hole in the crowd as a venlil who I assumed was Slanek, shouted at them and gestured with his tail inside the ship.
The camera zoomed in on the entrance to the craft as the paramedics reemerged with a human on their stretcher. He was hardly recognizable as a human. His body was splotchy and obviously emaciated. His skin was taught and his face. Sun and starts what had the Federation done to him. The camera panned back out as the paramedics whisked him through the hole in the crowd.
Before the video ended, I noticed that the predators backed away from the paramedics as they drew close. Do they fear being hurt like that? Are they trying to help by making more space? Talen returned to the screen.
“What you have seen here is the after effects of Federation torture of their human prisoner. The story that we have so far is that Marcel made a call to lure the arxur attackers away from the outpost, where their ship became disabled and were rescued by Captain Sovlin. Marcel was fitted with an electric shock collar, beaten, and starved for days before Slanek woke from a coma. Slanek was taken to see Marcel in an attempt to convince him that they are savage beasts. When that failed the Federation Captain attempted to feed Slanek to his human partner. Slanek was later able to convince Captain Sovlin’s first officer, Recel, to betray his captain and save Marcel. The trio stole a federation craft and made their way back to Venlil Republic space where Marcel is still in critical condition but being treated.”
The co-host continued, “For those out of there that still believe humans are simply biding their time, or will slip into predatory behavior if they are stressed out, here is proof that even if they are starving to death, they will not attack and attempt to eat a venlil. We have contacted the UN for an official statement on what they plan to do and have been notified they will give an official statement soon. We will continue to cover this story as it unfolds.”
Prime news finished that segment and transitioned to a panel of experts but the twins were done feeding so back in the crib they go while I cleaned up and got ready for the day. A chime alerted me to a new message on my holopad. After showering and drying off, I put Vissa and Tas in a play pen with some toys and checked the Bleat message. It was from, Niit.
“I hope you are doing well Leena. I am sending you a message to let you know that our claws are being cut again due to the lack of Federation trade. There simply isn’t enough traffic but, and this surprised me let me tell you, we will be retrofitting an old Venlil Cruiser. I heard talk that Tarva is trying to increase the number of combat ready ships.
If you ask me, I think she knows something we don’t. The predators are up to something and she has finally figured that out and is preparing for it at the roots. Hopefully, the Federation will forgive us if we give them Tarva to make an example of and send the exterminators in force to Venlil Prime to wipe them out. Paws open. Your friend, Niit.”
Well speh! Losing claws was a problem. I logged into my credit account to check the balance. I sighed in relief and sadness. The military survivor’s benefits were deposited a paw ago. That helps. Doing the math, I think we’ll be fine. Even if they cut me down to a claw and a quarter, I think I can still make it work with the benefits and an old ship retrofit will mean a lot of work for me searching for parts, so that bodes well. All that is left for today is to register Vissa and Tas in a care center. I started a search for local care facilities while I absently played with the twins. Vissa got her claws caught in my fur again. Guess I’ll look when they are napping.
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Memory transcription subject: Leena, Capital Spaceport Logistics Coordinator
Date [standardized human time]: September 10, 2136
My first day back and there had apparently been some changes. Niit had started to leave her holopad on to streams of Rux Limpbut, an infamous streaming personality, while she filled out work orders. I didn’t think he was wrong necessarily but did he have to be so obnoxious?
“This is it people, I told you it would happen. The humans are invading the Cradle. The humans are slaughtering their way across Gojid territory. And, AND! And what is our esteemed Governor doing about it? She is helping them. She has sent our soldiers into harms way to die for the predator’s conquest. The humans have revealed their true intentions.
They said they came in peace but now they are waging a war of extinction against the Gojid and they are using us to do it. WE KNEW there would be slavery but to force peaceful venlil to commit such atrocities…. I could never have predicted the depths of their depravity. These humans are as bad as the arxur, maybe WORSE, at least you know what to expect with the arxur but with humans they lie and steal and deceive… and they have stolen YOUR government. They have stolen….”
I signaled to Niit to mute the video as I made a call to inquire about a cooling unit for the Cruiser docked in the Capital hangers. When the call was over, Niit immediately unmuted the stream.
“-redators are? I’ll tell you how arrogant the predators are. They think they can convince the federation of their benevolent intentions WHILE THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING THEIR WAY ACROSS THE CRADLE! Only a predator would think that was sane. They claim that they needed to protect themselves, what a load of Speh. If we accept that then they would have reason to kill anyone who dared try to protect themselves. Do you, yes you listener, want to be slaughtered or dismembered, or ripped apart because you picked up your favorite gardening shovel?!
But I’ll tell you what I’m grateful for. I’m grateful the predators are so arrogant. I’m grateful they are sending their chief liar to the Federation Council. They will see what the predators are and see Tarva for the traitor slave she is. They will come and rescue us all. We only need to hold on a little longer. Now if you’re exhausted and spent then you need my endurance booster vitamins. These will give you the strength to power through your fears and hold out for the Federation rescue fleet and at only 30 credits for a whole bottle it is available to all venlil….”
“Niit, please turn it off,” I pleaded.
“He is… too much.”
Niit muted the stream and looked at me signaling sympathy with her tail. “I understand Leena, I do. The predators scare all of us.” She put her hand on my shoulder reassuringly.
I learned from Balan, that ever since the predators had arrived and the borders were closed, she had started listening to Rux and was a stalwart fan.
“You need to be vigilant! These predators could strike us at any moment. You should try Rux’s endurance boosters if you are struggling to keep up with the herd.” She reached into her desk and pulled out a bottle of the advertised pills and handed me one.
“I can give you one so you can see how good they are. I recommend buying the bulk pack. You save 5 credits per bottle.” She watched me expectantly.
With no other option, I swallowed the pill. I didn’t feel any different. “Thanks, Niit. I hope it helps.”
She waved her tail satisfied, “It will don’t worry.”
The ride to the care center was a short one. It was a happy coincidence that I had found a care center so close to the space port. The time saved commuting was enough that I did not have to pay for a full two claws of time. Still would have preferred that Governor Tarva had not closed the borders but I would take any blessings I could and Young Pups had a good reputation around the Spaceport. Vissa and Tas were fussy today and it was difficult to keep them awake before we got home. When I finally put them to bed and lay next to them the day finally caught up to me. It is nice that I have a break paw when I wake. I should take the pups to the park down the road. They would like that.
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Again, I would love your constructive criticisms. I work full time and it took me a week to write this so I cannot guarantee a set upload schedule but I will try for one per week. Thanks in advance and I hope you enjoyed. And xXSinglePointXx, please don't pee in my shoes. The babies will be fine, I swear.

GOLF DIGEST MAY EARN A PORTION OF SALES FROM PRODUCTS THAT ARE PURCHASED THROUGH OUR SITE AS PART OF OUR AFFILIATE PARTNERSHIPS WITH RETAILERS. She the outcome before she saw the splash. “Didn’t even come close to the green” she said. A Pennsylvania native Jack is a 2020 graduate of Penn State University earning degrees in broadcast journalism and political science. And when he’s not writing about ways to hit the golf ball farther and straighter the Milwaukee native is probably playing the game hitting the ball left right and short and drinking a cold beer to wash away his score. He can be reached at jack. [email protected]. com. Womens Am. Miss it and the last of her five-shot lead would be gone. “That putt on 15 was necessary for my confidence” Zhang said. They finished at 9-under 207. And then Bae’s hopes effectively ended on one swing. “I felt confident. To overcome everything I’m just super grateful to be here. ”Bae had no reason to think she had a chance trailing the No. “So I think that just being able to kind of get back on track that was my biggest feat today. ”Zhang closed with a 4-over 76 and got help at the end. Bae a senior at Georgia pulled her approach on No. - Alpha AI

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Trigger warning: sexual abuse
I have always wanted to talk about this topic. Although the post is stretching the definition of Expatshame, I feel that there is not enough discussion regarding the military abuses. The main point of this post is to spread awareness and create solutions (and for the subreddit to be united) , rather than expat shame per se.
Okinawa is one of the prefectures in Japan, in which it was annexed by the Japanese Empire. It currently hosts US Military bases, which resulted in numerous issues to arise. The criminal offences (e.g. rape, arson etc.) of some US military personnel have gotten unnoticed. At the same time, ecological damage is worsening due to the construction of new military bases. Kyodo News (2019) reported that seventy-percent (70%) of Okinawans had opposed the US military bases. There have in fact been multiple protests and rallies by the Okinawans. Nonetheless, the construction of new military bases will go through.
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Unpunished criminal offences
There have already been hundreds of complaints against US military personnel. If you ask me, they are expats who are just employed under the US military. The OHCHR (2022) wrote that the total number of cases and complaints against the US military personnel had already reached above five thousand (5,000).

... according to the statistics of the Okinawa Prefectural Police, the total number of criminal offenses committed by U.S. servicemen, servicewomen and their families until September 2020 counted 6,052, of which 581 were heinous crimes such as murder, robbery, rape and arson, and 129 were rape cases.
This is only the number of arrests made, and the actual number of incidents is believed to be much higher.

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The following are specific cases of the abuse by the aforementioned personnel (Johnson, 2008) :

1.) On June 29, 2001, a 24-year-old air force staff sergeant, Timothy Woodland, was arrested for publicly raping a 20-year-old Okinawan woman on the hood of a car.
2.) On November 2, 2002, Okinawan authorities took into custody Marine Major Michael J Brown, 41 years old, for sexually assaulting a Filipina barmaid outside the Camp Courtney officer's club

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Let us not forget the infamous 1995 gang-rape case:

...the notorious 1995 kidnapping, beating and gang rape of a 12-year-old girl by two marines and a sailor in Kin village, Okinawa. The convicted assailants in that outrage were Marine Private First Class Roderico Harp, Marine Private First Class Kendrick Ledet and Seaman Marcus Gill

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Johnson had also reported that there are often other issues happening in Okinawa:

Other incidents of bodily harm, intimidation and death continue in Okinawa on an almost daily basis, including hit and-run collisions between American troops and Okinawans on foot or on auto bikes, robberies and assaults, bar brawls and drunken and disorderly conduct.

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Ecological Damage
Not only are the native Okinawans affected by the US military bases, but their eco-systems are in-danger as well. Dias (2018) further details on how extinction and contamination affects Okinawa:

The Oura Bay alone is home to 262 endangered species. The [US] military facility plans to dump 21 million metric tons of sand and soil mixed with the alien invasive Argentine ant and Red-back spider into its waters.
In this distinctive natural environment, 26 newly discovered endemic species have been found since 2006.
These islands are home to the Sekisei Lagoonresides, Japan’s largest - and dying - coral reef. Corals currently on Japan's 'red list' - Okinawensis veron and Sargassum carpophyllum - could be crushed by the construction works.

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Since 1998, there have been over 415 incidents of toxic spills and dumping from the [US] military facilities. Polluted matter has flowed into rivers and embedded itself into the ecosystem. It's horrific to imagine this occurring yet again, especially amidst seeming efforts to house nuclear weapons in the the Oura Bay.

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Added to this, it was uncovered in 1996 that US aircrafts were test-firing over 1,500 depleted urranium shells near an important fishing ground in Torishima.
In 2015, the Pentagon's release of US Marine Corps’ documents from the 1970s revealed “large fish kills” in the waters near Camp Kinser. Inspections demonstrated a high concentration hazardous compounds in the sea.

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Here are the solutions that I have come up with:

1. Research more about the effects of the US military bases on Okinawa
2. Coordinate with the Okinawan activists
3. For Asians: Focus on Asian empowerment projects with the Okinawans
4. For people living in Western Countries: spread more awareness of the issue (via newspapers, blogs, Youtube videos etc.) , pressure politicians to oppose military expansion ( even if it falls into deaf ears most of the time)

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References:
Dias, T. (2018, October 1). US military bases in Okinawa threaten people and Ecosystems. The Ecologist. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://theecologist.org/2018/oct/01/us-military-bases-okinawa-threaten-people-and-ecosystems
Johnson, C. (2008, March 3). The 'rape' of Okinawa - apjjf.org. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://apjjf.org/-Chalmers-Johnson/2686/article.pdf
KYODO NEWS+. (2019, February 25). Over 70% of voters reject U.S. base transfer in Okinawa referendum. Kyodo News+. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2019/02/92e0b7fff7b5-voting-under-way-in-okinawa-for-referendum-on-us-base-relocation.html
OHCHR. (2022, January 30). Report on violence against indigenous Ryukyu/okinawa women and girls. OHCHR.org. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/2022-03/AOCHR.pdf

Disclosure : I am an atheist
I have had this thought since a long time. My family is very religious (though liberal). My father has been watching astrology on news channels since I can remember.
Many of these astrologers spew straight up pseudoscientific garbage. Some even promote babaji kind of magic. The news channels show these as a matter-of-fact
There are young news anchors who either seem to or pretend to be really interested in these programmes (which they are probably paid to).
These garbage shows become even more prominent when an eclipse is about to happen. Eclipses are beautiful events and I love looking at them (safely ofcourse).
I think everyone has the right to believe in astrology. But news channels should not be promoting these things. They are NEWS channels, they are supposed to be factual (though they never are)
I see every news channel promoting astrology but nobody showing the reality of how and why eclipses actually happen. A child should get to learn what eclipses are and not this garbage.
Horoscopes on newspapers (though equally fake) I can forgive since they take a small section of an otherwise large newspaper, unlike 2-hour long tantra mantra filled news channel astrology.
What do you all think?

My dad is (or was) what I would call Republican Lite. Sort of center right.
Something curious I've noticed is that mainstream Republican leaning media seems to almost be radicalizing itself more and more. Fox News I remember being yes, biased, but not full of fringe extreme views. And I think that's why my dad is slowly getting sucked in.
My dad is quite clever but he has some qualities that make him a vulnerable candidate. Both in how targeted I think some of this Qanon stuff is, and qualities that make him particularly vulnerable.

1. Baby-boomer veteran
2. Grew up poor and disenfranchised
3. Loves history. He shoved it down our throats as kids and wanted us to find our type of history we like. I leaned true crime, scams, language, and fashion were sort of my areas.
4. Military history
5. Fascinated by conspiracies that turned out to be true (area 51 coverup, mkultra, Watergate) and tries to 'catch' them before they're officially uncovered
6. And what I call fun ones. I love these because they're usually either outlandish or fascinating or both. Things like Paul is Dead, the Titanic switcheroo, government info on ETs, etc. I have abandoned this interest because conspiracy sites turned into Qanon factories.
7. Addictive personality. I am the same way and it's a careful thing you've got to watch.
8. Stubborn
9. Big fan of doing research. This was always presented (or I took it and still live by it) as learning something every day, get as informed on a subject of interest as possible, and try to know the world around you. Wed always watch history channel (before it was aliens and Hitler), discovery, endless documentaries, books aplenty.

My dad has started to mention some familiar, troubling rhetoric. Not unprompted and often in passing, but still there. He's never liked 'the carrot' and has always been the least racist person I know (he's the kind of guy who will make friends with everyone and he introduced me to so many different cultures. He always stressed not to judge people and instead be curious and open. Now he's talking about them as 'them' and wondering where white history month is. When he learned I knew trans people he had some questions which would be rude to ask a person about themselves but probably came from curiosity. But he also asked if I'm comfortable sharing bathrooms (I genuinely don't understand why bathrooms are segregated in the first place) or getting undressed in front of them (no, but I'm not comfortable getting undressed in front of anyone but my husband. Gender does not factor in). Then he asked if I was comfortable around drag queens (who are just people wearing makeup, dresses, wigs, and/or nails. I don't mean to minimize it but my point is, if I'm not afraid of the person as they are, why would that change with them wearing those things? I'm not afraid of those things so why would that change? I assumed my dad felt the same way).
I don't want my dad to fall down this hole because I think we'd never get him back. He's too stubborn for me to go 'that's bullshit'. He also thinks his kids cannot know anything better than he does. He raised us so we can't reach past that level. I'm a banker and he tries to explain banking to me. He's never worked in banking. When I correct him he says I'll learn more when I grow up (I'm in my 30s?) To give you an example.
But I do think I can appeal to his intellect. I'm hoping that by subtly pushing better more nuanced information on him, he'll learn. And kind of pull back before it's too late.
Is this possible? Is there anything else I could be doing? I'll take suggestions. And if you've got some informative resources to help him pull himself back to sanity? The more information dense with resources that he can then go read, the better.
TIA

Thank you to everyone who participated in our April Fool's Game. It was fun reading your guesses and rationales. Especially since every single one of you got it wrong. 🤣
The confabulated blurb was #2, Her Empath. Let that sink in.
This means that book #1 is real and is about a "ship of rippling, male warrior feline aliens".
This means that book #3 is real and is about an undercover "Beautiful Dolls sex robot".
And this means book #4 is REAL and is about 4 poorly photoshopped trillionaires named Bill, John, David and Steve. They bid on a "breeding female" in a society that has outlawed childbirth, intending to sell the progeny for a profit.
But the great news is that, IIRC, these books are all free on Kindle! Hoo rah! Happy reading.

It’s a normal day in Neo-Midway. In the back alley, a gun fires off, a sparkling white pearl necklace shattered as another orphan is made. Police cars blare, cars hovering parallel the street, attempting to make their way to Midway’s First Local Bank before the robotic menace known only as Rog is able to escape. In the robot’s claw-like hands is cash and small trinkets from the bank’s safe deposit boxes.
A few blocks away, a neon sign for a bar known for its shady clientele reflects the rain, a river of blood, grime and water begins to run out of the back alley into the streets.
The low humming of the sign begins to go in and out, the bright lights flickering in the process. No one notices or cares. It’s just another faulty piece of technology in a city full of it. Most of all, no one is looking in the bar’s side alley.
In the side alley, the finger to a green hand begins to materialize. Then the whole hand appears, followed by an arm, and then the rest of a body. When it is all said and done, the body is that of an alien looking fellow, one with big bug eyes and two antennas,and a hard pen outline around his body no matter how you look at him. His name is Irwin Schwab.
Irwin’s first thought is that he is cold. He had no clothes on when he jumped away from that strange grouping of heroes only a few hours ago, and now, with the cold rain of a dark, draft city hitting his skin, he can feel himself shivering.
His second thought is one of frustration. Why did he have to pass out when he landed in the previous show? It cut into his precious time, and almost got him killed. Now, Irwin has to collect the damn people before he could make the jump out of this world.
Irwin can’t curse his luck enough. He did everything right. Irwin realized early on he needed another person in order to backtrace to their Earth and away from the interconnected world of multiversal tv shows. Wanting to ensure that whomever he picked would be able to help fight for their freedom, Irwin picked a team of superheroes. It should have been simple, jump to the set of Doom Patrol, grab the cast, and jump out. They’d be gone before whoever runs this network of mind-controlled multiversal puppets found out Irwin’s plan. He miscalculated the jump though, and ended up knocked out due to falling a good few hundred feet. By the time he woke, the order from the network for Doom Patrol to be rebooted was already in, and there was nothing else Irwin could do but try again.
Irwin walks to the front of the building, a single plan in his mind. Find out which of the Doom Patrol is part of this show, and where the hell they are. The bar’s door opens with a creak. Teeth chattering, Irwin asks, “Does anyone here have a newspaper I can borrow, and possibly a shirt?”
—--------

Doom Patrol Beyond Presents:

The Truth Revealed

Created by: u/DarkLordJurasus
Produced by: u/MajorParadox and u/ericthepilot2000
Perry Mcfadden rides into the old, decrepit Doom Manor, his face contorted behind his red and white half face mask. Riding onto the shattered concrete of the driveway, Perry stops his motorcycle with a skid, shutting it down and jumping off.
He walks into the decaying halls, the flickering lights of ancient bulbs illuminating his way. Perry’s hands are balled into fists, the white pupiless eyes created by the tech in the mask sharply looking forward, each step calculated.
His footsteps aren’t quiet, in truth they are loud enough to be mistaken for that of a soldier marching into war. It doesn’t matter. The only other inhabitant of the manor will not hear the steps, the old man’s mind far too engrossed in the security cameras of the city, sitting, watching for any more crime.
Bam
Perry slams the door open, his eyes focusing on the weathered body of Niles Caulder. Niles sits in his wheelchair, his back arched, eyes quickly glancing around as his fingers rapidly tap the keyboard below him.
Not even glancing back at the young teen in his room, Niles says, “Your patrol doesn’t end for another hour and a half.”
Barely containing the fury laced into his voice, Perry responds, “We need to talk.”
Niles puts up a hand, waving Perry off, “Yes, yes. Of course. We will talk once your patrol is over. There is a disturbance on fifth street, Rog is robbing a series of banks and seems to have been made bullet proof.”
Something breaks inside Perry as his eyes change from white to blue. He marches over to Niles and spins the Professor’s wheelchair around until the two are looking at each other, Perry’s glowing eyes meeting the sunken, dead eyes of Niles Caulder.
Perry booms, an otherworldly echo enhancing his voice, Perry growls, “We need to talk now!”
Niles nods nonplussed by the whole situation, “So, you finally learned the truth.”
The static electricity in the room increases as Perry asks, “When were you going to tell me? I had a right to know who my father was, that me gaining my powers wasn’t an accident.”
Niles merely shakes his head, “It didn’t matter.”
Floating a bit off the ground, Perry screams, “It doesn’t matter? It’s my life! You had no right to lie to me.”
Niles yells back, “What is one life versus the lives of billions?”
Niles closes his eyes and takes a breath, “Everything I did, from leaving you as an orphan, to setting up your close encounter with the same spirit that gave you father his powers, was to prepare you to become a hero. The world needs the Doom Patrol, and I ensured that the legacy of the team would live on past my own demise.”
Landing, Perry turns around and walks out the door, not another word being muttered by the son of Larry Trainer.
The room goes silent for a moment, Niles sighing to himself, regretting what he had to do. It’s not that Niles doesn’t feel guilty for his actions, but its that the good of the many sometimes outweighs the good of the few. A new Negativeman was needed, especially if Niles is correct about himself not being a part of this world any longer.
Niles turns back to his screens, but instead of looking at the security cameras, he pulls up an old show, a superhero cartoon called Ambush Bug. He watches one of the eleven minute episodes of the fourth wall breaking hero where the hero defeats a villain with his signature teleportation powers.
The whole time Niles watches the room from the corner of his eyes. Seeing a shadow move, he smiles, it’s time.
Niles calls out, “Come out Irwin, I believe it is time for us to go.”
As Irwin leaves the shadow, he can’t help but say, “I feel like there is a whole page on TV tropes on why the greater good philosophy sucks. Lying and manipulation only ever leads to pain.”
Niles nods, “It’s what the producers wanted though. I had to play along with the script.”
“So, you remember?” Irwin asks.
“Not at first.” Niles admits, “At first I was merely trying to figure out who gave me the slip, but the company behind it must not have been as thorough as they thought as the security footage of the manor still had the footage from our chance meeting. Watching it jogged my memories, and made me realize just how bad of a situation I was in.”
“Hopefully we won’t be in this situation for much longer,” Irwin responds, “Once I grab you and the rest of your team, we can leave this screwed up labyrinth of melodrama and comedy, and get back to your Earth.”
Smiling, Niles says, “Lead the way.”

DCFU Presents:

The Negative Man

Created by: u/DarkLordJurasus
Produced by: u/MajorParadox and u/ericthepilot2000
Midway City, a dumping ground for the worst of the worst. It’s a city infested by the low life of the world, gangs and villains control the six boroughs that make up the city, gang wars constant. For one Larry Trainor, this is his haunt. It’s been a year since he returned to the city, and in that time he’s been busy.
Larry watches from up in the night sky a series of men walking something off the boat. These men work for the Puzzler, the newest in a series of villains who have tried making Midway their territory. Larry though has a personal desire to see Puzzler defeated. Since setting up shop in Midway, Puzzler has gone on to do a series of increasingly violent attacks, each one leaving a puzzle to be solved that will give a hint to his next crime. Puzzler has made it clear, the attacks only end when the puzzle of who Negativeman is has a solution.
One of the men is barely able to hold onto his box of weapons, his arms shaking so much. A small stutter in his voice, he asks out loud, “W-What happens if Negativeman shows up?”
The guy next to him whispers, “Shut up!” urgency clear in his voice. The people of Midway are superstitious, one of the largest being that if you say the name of the hero, he will appear like a spectre from the great beyond.
The man seemingly in charge lights a cigarette, the red burning of the blunt contrasting the cold, dark, raining city. “I don’t give two craps about that freak, the Puzzler will make sure that thing gets what is coming to him.”
Larry remains motionless, watching the scene. This many years later, this amount of time away from Midway, the word freak still haunts him. It still reminds him of what his father said to him the day of his death.
—-----------------
Larry was 17 when it happened. A large fire struck the apartment complex his family lived in, his mother, his father, himself, and his dog. The family began to run outside as smoke entered their room, the whole building in a mad dash to escape before they went up in flames.
It was only when all three of the Trainors were outside that they realized that their dog was still stuck in the burning building. With no firemen around, the family knew that they would either need to run in themselves, or let the dog die.
Larry was quick to volunteer. His powers would allow him to breath in the smoke easily, and his enhanced strength would make getting through any obstacles easy. His parents refused. He can still remember the sharp voice of his dad as he told Larry that it would be easy for others to realize he has powers if he goes out, and the last thing he wants for his son is to be different.
His father ran back into the building to save the family’s dog, his mother holding him back, insisting that keeping the illusion of normalcy was more important than saving the life of their pet, or even saving the life of their father. That people will hate him if they see he is different.
Larry watched his father run into the building moments before it collapsed, neither his pet or his father ever coming out.
—-------------
Larry is brought out of his thoughts as a bolt of lightning strikes behind him, illuminating the sky in white for only a moment.
The man in charge must have seen him as he immediately holds up his hand, indicating for the men with guns to get ready to shoot. A moment passes before the man takes the cigarette out of his mouth and asks, “Who’s there?”
In a low gravelly tone, Larry responds with a single word, “Justice.”
The effect is instantaneous, boxes drop to the floor as bullets are fired out of guns, the muzzles lighting up as rounds of lead are released.
Larry closes his fist, and charges up radioactive energy. The first round reach him, most of them way off their marks. A single bullet gets close, skimming the white bandages he uses to cover his face.
As the second round almost reaches him, Larry releases the stored up energy in a bolt of blue lightning. The lightning ricochets off of the nearest bullet, hitting each bullet in rapid succession, blowing them up in the process.
Eyes widen in shock below Larry as shrapnel rains down on the Puzzler’s goons. Any that survived the shrapnel immediately begin to run, weapons left behind in the scramble.
Larry lands in front of the leader of the men. In fear, he drops the cigarette to the ground, the last bit of smoke leaving as the fire is distinguished.
Taking a step back, the man pleads to Larry, “Listen, I can get you anything you want. Drugs, info, goods, its all possible, just give me the word.”
Silently, Larry grabs the man by the throat and says, “I only want one thing, peace.” Larry throws the man hard, his face slamming against the wood of the pier as he slams into the ground. Pain blossoming from his injured left eye and broken nose, the man passes out.
Behind Larry, Irwin and Niles appears, the other men either bleeding to death from the shrapnel, or long gone by now.
Niles looks at the carnage. He knows the universe reboots the personalities inside the shows to make them work with the universe, but it is still hard for him to see the Larry Trainor he knew being behind this type of violence. “Are we sure we are in the right show?”
As Larry turns to look at the strange new voice, Irwin responds, “Despite looking like something Rob Liefeld or Frank Miller would imagine, I can assure you this is the right place. My best guess is that they wanted a dark and edgy reimagining of the characters.”
Double taking at seeing the animated figure and the wheelchair bound man talking so nonchalantly about the scene as if it was a story, not something real, Larry asks, “Who are you two?”
Niles responds, “My name is Niles Caulder, and I’m here to talk to you about the Doom Patrol.”

ElastiWoman Presents:

The Final Battle Part 1

Created By: u/DarkLordJurasus
Produced By: u/MajorParadox and u/ericthepilot2000
Two years ago, my husband and I tried to extend our business into the field of clean energy using a specially devised Particle Accelerator. Everything went wrong though when a recently fired scientist named Jonathan Dubrovy sabotaged our invention, leading to the Particle Accelerator exploding. Since that night, metahumans have begun to pop up all over Midway City, created by the very dark matter that our machine gave off. To make up for our companies’ mistakes, and save the people of the city, I began to fight crime using my new ability to stretch my limbs to lengths once thought impossible. I became, Elastigirl.
—----------------------------
Rita walks into the old Mento Labs, her arm stretched out and dragging behind her. Entering the main lab where Steven is waiting for her, she asks, “What happened?”
One of the other scientists working with the duo responds, “Dubrovy seems to have figured out a way to create essentially an air acid. It burned through the elasticity of your arm, leaving it to collapse under its own weight. It should heal soon enough, but it seems like Dubrovy isn’t going to be able to be taken down through merely stretching.”
Another one of the scientists goes, “It’s insane, including this new compound, we have seen him control 104 unique elements.”
The first scientist snaps his fingers, “Mr. 104, that’s a good villain name.”
Getting his crew back on track, Steven asks, “Is there any possible way for us to counteract the effects of the new element? Possibly a chemical compound or something?”
Leaving the three scientists to talk, Rita leaves the room, her arm continuing to drag behind her. In moments like this, she curses that she went into advertising and marketing in college. It’s hard to be the only one in a room not understanding what the others are talking about.
Slowly, she makes her way through the hallway to the visitor area of the labs. Before she can pass the hidden supply closet where Jonathan hid all his plans to sabotage the Particle Accelerator, Steven runs after her, catching up with her in the hallway.”
“Hey,” he asks, concern clear on his face, “Are you okay?”
Rita turns around, wincing from the pain of moving her outstretched arm, “Yea. It’s just…it’s crazy. Since the accident, it's like the world has turned on its head, it’s like this isn’t even the world we are from anymore.”
Steven kisses Rita on the head, “I know how you feel, I feel it too. Like everything is changing faster than we can keep up.”
Rita nods, “I’m just scared that nothing will be the same.”
Holding Rita in his arms, Steven replies, “As long as we are together, we can weather anything.”
As the two hold each other, the lights around them begin to figure as three figures enter the building.

Doom Patrol Go Presents:

Pancakes

Created By: u/DarkLordJurasus
Produced By: u/MajorParadox and u/ericthepilot2000
With the so far acquired members of the Doom Patrol, Irwin prepares for one more jump. Grabbing a hold of Larry, Niles, Steven, and Rita, Irwin focuses his mind on Robotman before teleporting away.
The whole team arrives in a giant tower, childlike versions of the team running around. In the corner, child Steven is running away from child Rita yelling about Cooties, while at a table, child Larry is tugging over a pizza box with a child version of Niles Caulder.
A full size version of Robotman sits there, entirely motionless until he sees the team. Immediately, he begins to move, saying, “Thank god you guys are here. I don’t think I could have taken these buggers singing about pancakes one more time before I lost whatever the AI equivalent of sanity is.”
As Robotman walks over to the group, child Niles who must have been listening to Robotman pipes up, “Pancakes?”
Suddenly, all four children begin to sing the word pancake over and over again, their key entirely off.
Holding onto all of the Doom Patrol, Irwin jumps out, not before Robotman yells, “Sayonara you Nick Jr. rejects.”

Doom Patrol #3- Rebooted

Author: u/DarkLordJurasus
Book: Doom Patrol
Arc: Another Superhero Story?
Set: 83
A Retconn Production
Somewhere out of reality, a quivering man waits to be able to talk to the CEO of the largest television production company in the entire multiverse. The man knocks on the tinted glass door, papers shaking in his other hand. He knows the CEO won’t be happy with the news, and the one who brings the CEO bad news is liable to become the main character of their own show, usually a horror-thriller with a lot of gore and torture porn involved.
An echoey voice, one ethereal in tone, booms out, “Come in.”
The man walks in, legs almost giving out with each step he takes into the room. He stares into the white void given form that is the CEO. The man looks near where he hopes the CEO’s eyes are, no distinct physical features clear on the being’s form.
Glowing white fingers tap on a wooden desk as time ticks by. “Well,” the CEO demands, “Out with it.”
The man stutters to get his words out, “Well, uh, Mr. Disappointment sir, the Doom Patrol have escaped their new series.”
Mr. Disappointment slams his hands down on the desk, the quivering man pissing himself at the noise, “How is that possible? No one escapes Retconn!”
Meekly, the man responds, “I-It was Ambush Bug. He showed up to each of their reboots and teleported them out of there.”
Mr. Disappointment rises out of his seat, “I knew that pest would get in our way. I did say that, didn't I?”
Not knowing if the CEO did say it, but not wanting to contradict him, the man responds, “Oh yes sir. I remember you saying it clearly sir.”
Mr. Disappointment ignores the employee as he continues, “But the board ensured me that the little self aware main character wouldn’t be an issue. That there was no way for him to escape back into the multiverse proper.”
The man fervently nods along until Mr. Disappointment stops. Knowing he has to get Mr. Disappointment’s signature, and that this is his best chance, the man pushes, “Sir, we have a strike team waiting to recapture the Doom Patrol and mindwipe them of the whole situation.”
Mr. Disappointment nods, or what the man assumes is a nod, and gestures to bring the papers over. As the CEO grabs a pen, he stops himself, “This is going to be expensive isn’t it?”
Not waiting for a response, Mr. Disappointment continues, “And then we will need to pay set designers to build a whole new fake world for them, and writers to plan out personalities and create new side characters. Don’t even get me started on the cost of building fake people to flesh out the supporting cast.”
Putting down his pen, Mr. Disappointment makes a decision, “They are doing most of the job for us. We don’t have to create personalities or conflicts as those are built into everyday life. All we got to do is record it, maybe throw a villain or two down to that earth to beat up, and boom we got a reality show. Call it, Dallying along with the Doom Patrol or something like that.”
Getting more excited from the idea, Mr. Disappointment finishes his thought, “Hell, if the show has appearances by other heroes on their earth and the audience likes them, we can send down more cameras to their reality and make another show for essentially free.”
The employee curses himself, he doesn’t want to make Mr. Disappointment upset, but the flaw in his plan seems clear, “Ambush Bug escaped because he didn’t want to be on a show? What will stop him from trying to stop this new show?”
Mr. Disappointment answers, “That’s the best part. They won’t realize it is a show. To them, we are sending villains to capture them and bring them back here. They won’t know it is being recorded for the enjoyment of multiversal beings.”
Mr. Disappointment snaps his fingers, “Go get me the paperwork needed to make this new show idea a reality.”
The employee runs out of the room leaving Mr. Disappointment alone. Doing the equivalent of a smile that he can do on his mouthless face, Mr. Disappointment says to himself, “Looks like the Doom Patrol are returning to Earth 621.”

Heyo! I'm pretty new to Spaltoon, I got the game on my bday (February 11th) And I managed to play one round of the splatfest (When I started it immidiately was over after a round :D) So I have no idea about Splatfest newances. I read the ruels, but there are some things left ununderstood so I wanted to ask them here :)

1. So,when I was playing Tricolor, all teams were shown as Alien (my team <3) and I played as turquoise and orange sometimes...Why?
2. It was said that the leading team was nessie but when I started a game (immidiately after the news played), I was on the defending team? I thought only the winning team defends though, so did something change within a short amount of time or did I missundertand something?
3. What's the overall difference between playing splatfest Tricolor and Turf, except for the gameplay. Like, which is the one I should play to help my team the most?
4. How to win as Attackers during Tricolor? What weapons would you recommend and which not? I played with my bestie and even though we coorperate great, we had no chance and constantly died after spawning...I mostly play roller but I got shot so I coulnd't get close to anyone...And I tried different weapons but nothing worked for me :< ( rank B- so far) Thanks a lot <3

I'm sure a lot of you have seen some of the news regarding AI advancements lately. AI is advancing inredibly quickly, and it's raising concern amongst a lot of people. Since there is concern for us if it poses a threat, I think any aliens would also be concerned for themselves. If they've been observing us, and their is a chance our AI could get out of control, could that be when we finally learn of their existence? AI is going to open up so many possibilities including space travel and I can't help but think that's when aliens would finally want to make contact, because they might not really have a choice at that point. It's kinda like having nukes which is already bad, but it's even worse because the AI could do all sorts of crazy shit and compete with or even outcompete any aliens out there. This is all speculation of course

First Previous Wiki
Rimiaha felt the tremors echo throughout the mindscape, nearly nullified by the Source's power. At that moment, he knew that the battle had begun. Many who didn't know the Sprilnav would think that it would weaken them. And perhaps, in some ways, it would.
But there were always more clones, more memory transfers, and more backups. Always more stars to pull mass out of to build more ships. They could even create matter from space itself, uncaring of the negative mass left behind from their harvests. Such operations were why the Source had gone to war with them when the Sprilnav began doing it in its own domain.
"What is going on?" the hivemind asked.
"What do you mean?" Rimiaha asked it, unsure whether it was referring to the mindscape's tremors. Those were far too small for even the most sensitive instruments to detect, for the Source's power over the mindscape was almost absolute, and the difference was incredibly small.
"There is a sort of weakness in the mindscape that I'm feeling," the hivemind said.
"Why ask me?"
"You have a direct connection to the Source, and you can tell us how this is happening."
"Well, I'm not sure what I'm allowed-"
In Rimiaha's mind, he heard the Source's voice tell him to answer the questions. And so he did.
"The Sprilnav are fighting a war with themselves."
"A civil war?"
"Yes, and no," Rimiaha said. "How to explain it? It's like two of your nation-states going to war without nuclear weapons. Yes, it's a war between humans, but it could hardly be called a civil war amongst the entire species. Most of them are sitting it out or making money from the sidelines."
"But for the distortion to be felt from here..."
"The most devastating weapons in the arsenal of the Sprilnav rewrite the laws of reality. While they are nowhere near the concept-breakers of the old war, they are still enough to destroy entire star systems with ease. In some cases, star clusters. It is likely that they are shredding the mindscape's local area."
"And the Source is preventing that from reaching the rest of us? Why?"
"Why does the Source care about pruning the mindscape?"
"In a way, sure."
"Because the Source is the mindscape, in some ways. As long as the mindscape has been something like what it is now, the Source existed. Before then, the Source had a different form. How can I say this in an understandable way? You know that time exists, and you have measurements of it, correct?"
"Yes," the hivemind said.
"So the Source is like a measurement of the psychic potential of the mindscape. Time cannot exist without some concept of measurement. In the same way, the mindscape cannot exist without the Source to measure it. It is the center of the mindscape, the pulse of it. It is the mindscape's wishes, given form. The mindscape's dreams, given agency. The Source's true nature resides in the latent potential of psychic energy. When you think of a concept, it requires psychic energy to do so. You manifest the concept within your own mind, where it does not influence reality. But gather enough psychic energy, and you can achieve a deeper effect."
"How?"
"The Source's psychic energy is not like yours, hivemind. It is more pure. Where your form of psychic energy has a single dimension to it, the Source's has 4.5, or 9.2, or any number of continually oscillating degrees. It is not explainable, not in full. Because the Source is not fully bound by things such as concepts. When the Source war, as the Sprilnav call it, ended, the Source was dead. But what is death outside time?
What is death when its very concept holds little sway? The Source didn't raise itself from the dead. The idea of the Source, its ego and its fundamental power, wove itself back into being, forcibly defying the way of this universe. That is why the Source itself does not reemerge in this universe, because time would continually erase it. And to have the concept of power fighting the concept of time would be counterproductive to the Source."
"I still do not understand."
"Perhaps you won't, or you will, in time. But as things stand now, you do not need to worry."
The hivemind laughed as if his sensible words were nothing. "You do realize that the Alliance is likely the catalyst of that war? If the wrong side wins, we end."
"Sprilnav do not lose wars. They give up on them," Rimiaha said. The hivemind may not have known the true extent of their nature, but he did. He had never met the founding members of their civilization, but he knew that some of them were the exact same as they'd been so many billions of years ago before the galaxy he was standing in had even formed.
"Every nation can crumble from within. Every nation can be beaten," the hivemind said.
"Perhaps."
Rimiaha figured that the hivemind wouldn't understand. After all, Sprilnav technology was so advanced that few were able to. They could lose trillions in a day and continue battling as if nothing was wrong. The lesser Sprilnav, which was the general populace, all had their genes in a bank, ready to be utilized for cloning if necessary. Combined with memory implants and the ability to produce matter from essentially nothing, there wasn't much that other species could do to counter them unless they figured out a way to counter those overwhelming advantages.
Though Rimiaha did suppose that since the Sprilnav relied so heavily on them, removing them could cripple their fighting capabilities.
"You won the war."
"We didn't, actually," Rimiaha said. It pained him to admit it, but even though both sides failed to achieve their objectives, the Source's loss had been far greater than any victory. The rupture of the hypo-psychic plane also meant that the Source's anchor to the universe was weaker. It was why so much of the more fantastical technology that the Sprilav had once used was no longer possible. Some Elders were old enough to remember it, but even the memories had difficulty surviving the aftermath of the rupture.
"Yes, the Source's last resort resulted in the destruction of their civilization. The Sprilnav native to this galaxy do not have the ability to fight the Source, this is true. But those who Equisa, Rho, and Sai belong to are different. They, even within this fallen universe, could still fight the Source on equal footing. Perhaps, they could even win."
"Why?"
"For the same reason that the Source's interference must be so limited. Because the universe itself would fight on their behalf. The Source isn't dead within the mindscape, but it is dead in this universe. Here, the concept of death is real. Could the Source fight against it? Perhaps. But with both the Sprilnav and that concept fighting it, sapping power and form from it, the odds are not total."
"And you are really here just to watch our civilization?"
"In most ways, yes," Rimiaha said. "Penny's reaction to me, at least after she decided not to attack me, was different than what I expected. It wasn't much different than what the Source expected. It does have an interest in your civilization, hivemind. More specifically, it has an interest in you and Phoebe."
"Us?"
"Yes."
"Why would the Source care about us?" the hivemind asked. "What has it done for us?"
"I've saved your life, and Penny's life, and many others," Rimiaha said. "As for its interest in you, that is partly due to the fact that you absorbed that foreign energy into yourself, and partly because of the particular flavor of human potential. Part of it is physical, and part of it is psychic."
"Why does that potential exist?"
"Because for 4 billion years, life evolved on this planet. For 2 billion of those years, the Source's corpse resided here."
"While 2 billion is quite a long time, I think that I am failing to see the entire significance of that."
Rimiaha felt knowledge come to him, things that weren't in his mind until they suddenly were. He raised his claws, his palms facing the roof of the building they were standing in. In the mindscape, shaping the rock was possible, though it was somewhat difficult. In reality, the hivemind's nearest avatar was nowhere near Rimiaha.
"Well, for one, the Source's psychic energy is why Earth's organisms became eukaryotic. And in addition to that, it is because your species in particular has been absorbing true, high-quality energy from the Source for an extreme amount of time. Your formation, hivemind, was inevitable. It was spurred on by events, yes, but ultimately it would have happened anyway. Some of your religions, at least in part, are related to psychic energy's influence on your world. The Source's latent influence, of weak conceptual meddling. It is why there is recorded evidence of miracles among those of your kind."
"That seems both convenient and bizarre."
"Quite so. The manifestations of psychic energy shortly after the Second Cold War also were related to this conceptual bleed from the Source, when the energy it emitted attuned more closely with reality than before."
"So the Source doesn't claim that is is God?"
"Such beings do exist, in certain ways, though not as you expect," Rimiaha said. "However, it does not claim to be a god."
"That is quite a lot to take in."
"I am sure," Rimiaha replied. "Do you have any more questions?"
"How long do we have until we have to be ready again for war?"
"It depends. You are already preparing for war, both with the United Legions, and with the other powers of the galaxy. That is why you and Phoebe are so aggressively pursuing technological gain, and why the acceptance culture of the Alliance is growing so strong. The Breyyanik call it the Knowledge of a Hateful Galaxy. Humanity calls it insurance. But if I were to give you a finite number, the number would change. I can confidently say that it will be in 3 to 8 years, in terms of war being declared upon you."
"Can you say who is likely to be declaring war?"
"I cannot."
"Why not?"
Rimiaha felt the Source's reasoning come to him as quickly as thought. He knew that it wasn't exactly his own, but he didn't really care. After all, he did live for the Source and also because of it.
"Because if I were, then you would approach the war wrong. More people would die, in fact. Or, if my words were taken the wrong way entirely, it could lead to the extinction of your species."
"How do you know how we'd react?"
"By firing your biggest guns when the threat arrives, without heeding the potential consequences. Instead of asking questions, not knowing what to ask. Many such things," Rimiaha said.
"Now it sounds like you're just being intentionally vague and annoying."
"It is annoying, I understand. But this vagueness is what serves as your protection. Knowing how the story ends changes how the story ends."
"Even with the intellect of all Humanity at my disposal?"
"But it isn't constantly in use. You and I both know that you are not speaking the thoughts of every human being. You, as a hivemind, act like an average human. Because that is what you are. Yes, you can coordinate humans, and transfer ideas and thoughts between them. But as a hivemind, you cannot be more than the mean of your parts."
"Don't you mean the sum of my parts?"
"No. I do not."
"Very well," the hivemind said. "If that is your wish, I will not pry any further. But there may be deaths on your hands, as a result of such policies."
"Death stains all our hands. I do not pretend to be clean of it. I have killed billions of Sprilnav with my own claws, hivemind. Of those, few truly deserved to die."
"You seem to have changed."
"When you ask me of the Source, you push small pieces of it into me, sheerly through its concern about what others think of it."
"So the Source's ego, as a concept, becomes an influence upon you, making you unreasonably haughty and clipped?"
"Yes, you could say that," Rimiaha laughed. "After some time, you may find my personality reverted back to normal. Or that may be when I spend more time with my friends."
"I see."
"You see with two eyes, not thirty billion. Remember that. It will help you later on."
"How can I be a role model for Humanity, then?" the hivemind asked.
"Well, I'd mostly tell you to keep doing what you are doing. Though maybe with a little less direct meetings with alien leaders, grandiose speeches, and gaudy events, and a little more making friends, shopping, and going to theme parks."
"I'm not sure that's what I should be."
"Well, that's your decision," Rimiaha said. "You don't have to be a role model for anyone else. You are a hivemind, but you don't have to represent all of Humanity. You choose to, perhaps. But it's not something they demand of you."
"If not me, then who?"
"Such is the burden of life," Rimiaha said. "I'd suggest setting up some meetings between the United Nations and the Luna Command Council to figure that out. Council Director Davis filled that role before, but it's possible that Juan Pedros may not feel the same."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"That is incredibly concerning," Council Director Juan Pedros said, listening to the hivemind's recounting of Rimiaha's words. Though he wasn't so quick to trust the Servant since he very obviously had some special interest, that didn't mean that they were worth nothing at all.
"Yes, it does seem to be."
"How prepared is the first of the mobile shipyards?"
"Quite ready," the hivemind said. "At this point, it's just a matter of the escort vessels. We're trying to come up with things like patrol protocols related to the angles of the star lanes in and out of the shipyard, as well as those for the civilian transport section. But besides that, it is ready."
"Mercury-class guns?"
"Gaia and Phoebe are working on mass-producing them. There's a few in the Keem system, a few around Charnren, and a few in the Teegarden system. We're also installing some near and on the Orbital Ring."
"How is that project coming?"
"Quite well. It's nearly 70% complete."
"70%? A few months ago, that was 30%."
"Yes," the hivemind said. "The psychic amplifiers that Gaia and Phoebe pioneered allowed for much more powerful telekinesis. Gaia's built nearly 60% of the Orbital Ring all by theirself. Fyuuleen, Dilandekar, and Izkrala have all asked for one as well."
"So it seems that the strategy here is building the megastructures based on psychic power. What if the devices are crippled?"
"Despite how hard that would be, there are workers that would take up the slack, as well as hordes of low-gravity and zero-gravity construction drones," the hivemind said.
"And how prepared is the Alliance for the second invasion of the United Legions?"
"It's pretty well-prepared. Izkrala has signaled her readiness, and her fleet is already on its way. Fyuuleen has also sent a portion of her forces, while the Guulin plan to commit all of them. The various nations of Earth are also committing a fair deal, though they are still negotiating the minutuae with their military leaders."
Juan nodded. He was doing that too. Luna's population was less than Earth's, even with just human populations alone. So that meant an increased importance on precision over numbers. Such pressures had already spurred the development of the super-soldier program.
"And Kawtyahtnakal's military fleet?"
"Most are voting not to request it to participate, since that would put a bad taste in a lot of mouths," the hivemind replied. "The Vinarii corporate fleet is in no position to assist, at least according to Na'akila."
"I see. Which assets do you think require more security, hivemind?"
"I would recommend tightening the security around Luna's entrance and exit tunnels, in particular. Placing cameras in the sewage channels, and more monitoring on all government officials, even down to the levels of neighborhood meets. There has been chatter among infiltrated channels from the Lurave Empire of attempts at infiltration and sabotage."
"I will send an order for that increased security, then. Has Phoebe's simulation of potential terror attack scenarios also been updated?"
"Yes. All locations of increased risk have more specialized scanners nearby, as well as more shielding. Phoebe has been working with Luna's disparate police forces under the Watchful Eye Initiative to provide high-quality camera surveillance, with VIs capable of defending against direct cyberattacks. They also have their own battery power, so power cuts wouldn't stop them."
"I see. And the numbers for that Initiative are promising. It's caught 96% of our practice individuals and even a few actual ones with various types of contraband." Juan remembered those numbers because he'd promised to reduce crime and increase security.
"Yes. What of Edu'frec and Phoebe themselves?"
"Their residence on Luna is fortified. They only use Brey's portals for movement, which is expected. A few Lurave Empire separatists have tried to force their way in, which led to... messy results."
The Council Director wrinkled his nose, remembering the images of exactly what superheated hypersonic ammunition did to Acuarfar carapaces. It wasn't pretty in the slightest. Phoebe had done the cleanup for it, though officers that had investigated had complained of a distinct cooked smell.
"Yes. Phoebe has been quite vocal about the folly of breaching her security, including even showing firing tests on large blocks of gel to the wider networks of the Alliance."
"I remember seeing the one about the fully-automatic shrapnel guns. Grisly stuff," Juan said.
"Yes. Though speaking of military equipment, there is a proper model of shielding finally available for our armored vehicles, that should also help with the protection of personnel carrying models. Our scientists have made some improvements to turbine efficiency on amphibious assault vehicles, and are working on a cheap way of designing smart artillery shells."
"Smart artillery?"
"Yes. We hope to build up a large stockpile of them, so that we can use it for fortified positions that we lack direct air superiority for. In particular, hitting SAM sites and SAL sites are their main priorities," the hivemind said. "We're training a few teams on them right now."
"What about gravity? That obviously plays a role on artillery attacks."
"It does. There's five different models of new artillery guns in development, for use in 0.2 to 0.5g, 0.4 to 0.7g, 0.6 to 1.2 g, 0.9 to 1.5g, and 1.3 to 2.3g."
"I take it that the reason for the overlaps is in case one model or another has a reason it cannot be used on a particular battlefield?"
"Yes. There's different angle ranges for each, and other considerations, such as time from firing to impact, arc length and max height, all the way down to optimal angles for penetration. Some shells are made for anti-vehicular assaults, others are made to destroy buildings. Some are made for anti-shield operations as well, carrying magnetic dispersion dust that would superheat after the explosion, causing ruin to most shields."
"Expenses?" Juan asked.
"Growing every month, but still under the budget. Alloy prices are continuing to drop, with those Vinarii companies sending us so much of the stuff we can't make yet. As for what we can make, that's being put to use quite excellently. As for the whole program, it's about 390 million dollars a year. With pure production costs, that goes down to about 80 million a year."
"For how many shells?"
"Currently, a little over 20 thousand. But we hope to have production double each month, again, with factories coming online. We're spreading them, so there's some on Mercury, some on Luna, and some on Ceres. The lower gravity of the locations makes manufacturing the shells easier."
"What of bureaucracy?"
"The red tape has mostly been severed by pressure from the military and the Guulin people, as well as personal engagement from some national diplomats and Phoebe. Law and politics have already been bent to the will of production. Zoning is in place, and regulations are reviewed and applied. Guards and shields for the larger factories are also being procured."
"Will these be standardized across the Alliance?"
"That is the goal," the hivemind said. "Izkrala and Fyuuleen had expressed interest in the shells, and the guns are made with controls operable by all types of hands and claws. Dilandekar, Frelney'Brey, and Blistanna will follow our lead on the matter."
"That's good. It seems that they are our strongest allies in the Alliance," Juan Pedros said. "Perhaps I should arrange a few visits."
"It's possible for everyone but Fyuuleen, because of the methane and cold."
"I could use a hard light hologram for Fyuuleen. That way, she can see my eyes and such, and I won't be shivering and doubling over from the lack of oxygen."
"An apt solution. Though I suppose it would be prudent to warn you of possible contact with anti-human underground forces. Fyuuleen's kept a lid on it mostly, but our informants have detected some activity."
"Well, with a hologram, they could nuke me and I'd be fine. But I'll be careful. I take it that you informed Fyuuleen about this?"
"I did, and she expressed mild displeasure at our placing of informants in her territory."
"She's likely done the same, no doubt."
"Yes. They're mostly all Dreedeen, or humans that are more adept at hiding their thoughts from me. But we do also feed them information that we think is important for reaching the Conclave Leader."
"You're not lying to them, then?"
"No. Most of us in the Alliance, small countries or large, don't purge everyone's spies, because it helps to keep everyone honest. None of the governments really like it, but it's a necessary evil, as we've all agreed."
"I am not so sure about that," the Council Director said.
"Well, it helps to keep the Alliance together. Problems are solved as they come up, instead of festering to become a gaping wound later on."
"You put a lot of faith in politicians."
"I do," the hivemind said. "That is because they are beholden to their people."
Juan laughed. "Izkrala."
"She doesn't want to be overthrown, and she knows that the best interest of her people is also her own best interest. If you keep your citizens fat and happy, then they won't rebel against you. And the way that she does it is through genuine popularity, charm, and wit, instead of making it so they can't afford anything and are living paycheck to paycheck, as some nations did in Humanity's history."
"You seem keen to defend her."
"Yes."
"Why?" Juan asked. "She is a dictator."
"Yes. But let me ask you, do you really think that another system would be better? Would you risk upheaval and civil war for the possibility of full democracy? Billions of potential deaths? Izkrala cannot be voted out, this is true. But she does not oppress her people. In an attempt to liberate the Acuarfar, you may only end up with feudalism from the nobles, or oligarchy from the corporations."
"We could do it right."
"We hope to do it right. There is no guarantee."
"What happens when she dies?"
"One of the Emperors takes power."
"And can they be trusted?"
"Yes. Phoebe and I have studied their personalities. They are on board with helping the people."
"And if your judgement is incorrect?"
"Then we shall suffer the consequences. But don't worry. Izkrala's lifespan grows nearly as fast as she ages, due to her access to the best healthcare of any Acuarfar nation. And even without that, she'd have about fifty years or more of rule, with up to a hundred years of life."
"Hmm. Well, we shall have to see either way," Juan said. "I just hope that we don't regret her actions later on."

ON ST. GEORGE’S SPEAR
Ch. 14
First Previous
This takes place in an alternate universe described here.
Credit to u/spacepaladin15 for the original universe :)
Memory Transcript Subject: Tropa, Member of the Momevent for a Liberated Yotul People
Date [standardized human time]: June 20, 2178
The humans came back after a while, saying that they needed to prepare a better introduction to human culture and, surprisingly, their religion. I wondered about what a predator’s religion would be like and whether it would be similar to the Yotul faith (Pre-Federation, of course).
However, my thoughts could not sit on frivolous topics like that. I was enraged at Velsa for trying to sabotage our one chance at freedom, again. Yes, it might be short-lived, but I would rather die free than live oppressed. I knew what our civilization was before. I interacted with hensas before. The federation, curse their names, destroyed our achievements as well. I will make a new achievement for all Yotul to be proud of and this ignorant collaborationist is going to obstruct me from providing hope to our species.
We argued for two days about everything. Again. I was getting sick and tired of her lies and said that if we saw a human eating anything that could look like flesh, I would personally request that they eat me. A big risk, but I was sure that the humans would not try to eat me.
Then, the humans entered the room. They had a new attachment to the translator, which must have been a portable power pack. “Hello, Yotul friends. My name is Julia Forham, the scientist at this facility tasked with first contact with new alien species. To my left is Dr. Ji-Eun, head scientist for this facility, as well as my assistants, Lucy and Gemma.” Once their name was called, each of the humans made a motion to distinguish themselves from the group. “I would like to take the Yotul who want to see who and what humans are.”
Surprisingly, more of us volunteered than the last time we gathered. In total, 12 were at least sympathetic to the MLYP, 3 were neutral, and 2 were collaborators. I was happy that we would have the supermajority on any issue over the collaborationists; I wouldn’t want to portray an image of weakness around predators. That would just be stupid.
They escorted our little herd out of the room and into a hallway. However, this hallway was not the unnatural four white walls with white lights and maybe a work of “art” hanging on the wall. This hallway had what must be purely ornamental arches running the length of the hall, with doorways being accentuated by façades with words written on them, probably describing what the rooms contained.
Another thing that must be a shock to Velsa would be the lack of blood and other obvious signs of killing. She probably would come up with some excuse for this, but I saw this as a sign that I was right about the humans’ intentions. They were nothing like the Arxur. The only thing I noticed was the lack of other humans in the hallway. Probably for the best, however, as I can't be sure that this human, (Julia, was it?) wasn’t in the minority of humans.
We walked down the hallway before we passed an open door with a bunch of humans huddled around a screen. We passed this door without stopping, but I could tell that the humans had their curiosity piqued. The end of the hallway exited into a square, with many offices and at least 3 stories tall. However, there were no humans in the square. There were obvious signs of previous activity: a cart carrying boxes holding open a door, a binder, with papers strewn about, and an eerie silence.
We crossed the square and found ourselves walking past another room with people huddled inside it. The humans gave in to their curiosity and beckoned us into the room. They asked another human something in hushed tones and looked shocked by the response. I pushed the translator cart into the room, so I could hear what was being said from the screen.
On the screen was a human with no fur, in an embroidered cloth on one side, and another in a black and white suit and red fur on the other. The rolling text below was saying something about something else, but I couldn’t decipher it. They looked to be talking to each other
“... but I think that this statement by His Holiness reinforces, rather than destroys, the previous statements and positions from pre- and post-contact. Do not take this as a declaration of peace, as I would not be surprised if a crusade [TRANSLATION ERROR: NO ANALOG FOUND] is called, but this statement should halt discussions of a ‘vengeance’ war against the Arxur.” The man in the embroidered cloth said. Was this human sidestepping war with the Arxur? What was a “crusade” anyways?
The image of the other human was replaced by a full-screen view of a human staring right at me through the screen. “Thank you, Bishop. Before we continue our news coverage, I would like to read the statement from the Imperial house and the Orders Council: ‘Do not demonstrate. The military only has so many supplies that it can give out. If you feel the need to demonstrate, please understand that no progress can be made unless military factories are allowed to operate. Please know that riots are not appropriate.’”
My heart ran cold. I wanted to run, I wanted to scream, but I wanted to see what would necessitate such a dire warning. “Now back to our coverage of the conscription riots. All over the HHE, people have taken to the streets demanding that the government loosens its conscription laws. In Japan, the historic Tomioka Castle has been taken over by veterans and other demonstrators who demand to be allowed to train new soldiers. In the Holy Lands, the walls and the city behind them have been taken over by a similar group.”
While he was talking, the video cut to scenes of masses of humans in ancient stone and wood fortifications. Some of the places looked like they had stood since humans gained sentience. I was amazed and terrified by the implication that humans could be stirred into such a frenzy. I wondered what was the instigating factor. Then over the front wall of some other stone fortification, an image of a dead human in an Arxur holding cell was fluttered out on a massive piece of cloth.
I was confused as to why they portrayed an image of one of their dead young when I heard one of the other humans tell Julia that the one on the cloth was one that they found in an Arxur cattle pen. I, for the first time, began to truly empathize with predators, as I was once in the same position, the only difference was that I had the fortune to survive the torment. I heard a thud and turned to see that Velsa had collapsed. A couple of other Yotul seemed to not be taking this whole situation too well, but I couldn’t stay distracted long before getting dragged back into the broadcast.
“... and police have managed to secure and fortify the Székesfehérvár arsenal.” The video cut to humans, holding spears and walking through a city as if nothing was off about them walking with spears and armor when humans have spacecraft. Those Feds would have a field day if they found the humans! “In Rome, the Swiss Guard and other Pontifical guards have been deployed to keep the peace in the eternal city. His Holiness has released a statement that, while understanding the concerns of the protesters, condemns the violence ‘fringe elements’ have used.”
Then, It seemed like Julia and her friends remembered they were supposed to take us to a cultural introduction classroom, or something like that. They ushered us out of the room, but my mind was still stuck on what I saw and heard. The humans were acting as if this was unexpected. As if a species with any contact with the Arxur would realize that their people were probably in a cattle pen somewhere. Unless … no, that can’t be right … were the humans so unlucky as to have their first contact be the Arxur?! I would need to ask that question when we got to the room.
We, after a couple more minutes of absolutely silent walking, we entered the room where we were supposed to enter. No one talked, not even the humans, who just sat in the chairs that they had laid out for themselves behind the table with what could only be assumed to be cultural objects. One had its head in its hands. The others were just glaring at nothing in particular. The deafening silence persisted for the next few minutes.
Finally, Golta, the former head of defense at New Pastures who had supported me in the debate with Velsa, spoke. “I take it you weren’t expecting that to happen, were you?” The humans shook their heads, which the translator said meant a “gesture in the negative”. He then followed up with the question we were all asking. “How long have you known about the Yotul, Federation, or the Arxur?”
“We have known that alien life existed since we stumbled into the Arxur slave ship Kratak a couple of months ago. However, it seems like the Arxur knew about us for significantly longer. As for your species: not much shorter, as some soldiers cataloged you during the capture of the ship. We have not met the “Federation” yet. We aren’t even sure if it exists, but given that both you and the Arxur referred to it, we can only assume that it exists.” Julia said.
THEY HAVEN’T MET THE FEDERATION!! Thank the gods! That means that their opinions of us will be entirely textured by our interactions here and not the Federation’s lies about us. “The Federation is the interplanetary government that ‘uplifted’ us while destroying much of our pre-contact culture. They also ‘diagnosed’ large swathes of our population with ‘predator disease’ and drugged us to mellow the symptoms. Those who did not take the drugs were taken to facilities and never heard from again.”
The humans put on expressions that the translator insisted meant horror, but it instead looked like they were succumbing to bloodlust. Was it a mistake to tell predators that we were only uplifts who probably don’t have much to offer?
Again, the humans shocked and confused me. They asked what happened, and they seemed genuinely concerned. We responded by telling them everything. The systematic destruction of our cultural artifacts and monuments, the destruction of our pre-existing infrastructure, which culminated in a global rail network, and the extermination of our beloved pets, the hensa.
This might not have been the best move in hindsight, as one of the humans seemed to enter shock. Perhaps they were expecting the Federation to welcome and accept predators in their ranks. A pretty stupid concept, but they didn’t know any better. Hopefully, they would have the facilities to foster a Yotul culture-in-exile until we could return.

I've been working on a book about cults and their affects on politics both on a local level and a national level. I'm currently in a research stage and I'm wondering if anyone has had any experiences with any local cults. Or if anyone knows of any that I should look into. Here is my definition and some some of the ones I've found in the area, but I know their has been more come and go.
High control groups. Extremist groups. Hate groups. Religious organizations with practices considered outside the norm. Groups in which financial contributions are required for membership or required to progress in the group. Groups that encourage isolation from the outside world. And groups that rally around a central individual, who may or may not hold beliefs different from that of their followers. This definition does not necessarily pertain to the organization's current status as a religion, as a protected class or entity, or current 501c tax exempt status
SPLC calls out three hate groups in the area. The Proud boys, Sure foundation Baptist church, act for America.
cult wise, using this definition i would include the following.
The church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. for their requirement of financial contributions of 10% of household income. Their willingness to shun those they would label as apostates. Their support and contribution to anti lgbt+ foundations. Racist practices, and child SA allegations
The fundamentalist church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. All of the same reasons as the mainstream Mormon churches, just sprinkle on even more racism and child SA and abuse. see here.
The watch tower society. (Jehovah witnesses. ) for their shunning practices including of children as young as 8 years old. Their controlling practices. their practice of isolation from outside influences. Their doomsday prophecies dating back to the late 1800s
Seventh day Adventist. The same cult that lead to the Waco TX sieges, They share a history with The Watchtower dating back to The bible study group that started the Jehovah witnesses and their doomsday prophecies. They are less restrictive to the outside world than JW are but still are reclusive in some areas. The too have a history of child SA and abuse. I haven't looked into them so much, so more research is needed.
On fire ministries. ok this one needs a little background. on fire ministries is an offshoot of Ken Petersons church that protested the Spokane branch of planned parenthood. Things got heated during that protest and he lost his 501c status. Ken then moved to Florida and formed a new church in the network of televangelist Pastor Greg Locke. Glen Locke a couple years ago hosted a book burning that was over the news. and is notorious for his witch hunts and wild beliefs far outside the norm. Ken Peterson has labeled himself the "Patriot Preacher" and firmly believes that Trump is a new messiah. On-fire ministries still follow many of Ken's teachings. Recently, they have forced members, including children, to come onto stage and renounce them selves of being gay, or trans. They also will single out individual members in front of the congregation.
Local Church of Witness Lee. I'm unsure if this group is still around. Most of what I can find is from around 2013. The local branch was lead by Bill freeman. Bill died on March 22 2013. Bill was accused of running a cult near Whitworth college, where he and members harassed students. Bill was also accused of causing several divorces back in 1969 when he brought female members from Yorba Linda, CA to Seattle WA. I'm not too sure about this group. I haven't spent much time on them.
Landmark Worldwide, these guys are rather latigos so it's hard to find good info on them. But they have ties with the CoSci and claim to be a self help forum. They claim to help members get past personal issues. They fell under some heat because of a controversial practice of having victims call their abusers and "forgive" them and list all of the things that they did to them, in front of the forum. They also practice some indoctrination techniques like not allowing attendees to use the restroom until breaks, and having extremely long seminars, upwards of 14 hours.
Besides these there are members of the KKK in the area. most of which are in Idaho but I'm sure there are some in Spokane proper.
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In the surrounding area.
THE BROTHER NATHANAEL FOUNDATION, priest river Idaho. This guy is something man. He is extremely antiemetic. I have no idea if he has any actual followers. I haven't had the energy to look into him too closely, and honestly he makes my head hurt.
Independent History and Research. CDA idaho This seems to be mostly a man named Michael Hoffman. He is an author of mostly incoherent ramblings about the occult
The KKK, priest river Idaho. The state ran these guys out a couple times, but like most Insects, there is a never ending infestation of them.
Neo Nazis, North Idaho. members of the Aryan brotherhood have always been in the area. In 2020 during the BLM protest, there were several members marching in counter protest through cda park. This group has close ties to Atomwaffen. A large Neo Nazi party group headquartered in Texas.
Patriot Front. CDA area. It is believed that there are local members of Patriot Front in or around CDA idaho. It is their general practice to only protest in an area with aliens to that area. This is because its harder to prosecute out of the state in which a member resides. 31 patriot members were arrested outside of downtown CDA after trying to disrupt a pride event. They were released shortly after on very little bail.

Greatings! I am new Risk of Rain 2 developer, here with some great news. A small patch will be launched today in a few hours. Here is the quick rundown.
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Armor-Piercing Rounds: Now player is considered to be a boss
Backup Magazine: Bugfix - now it is not a clip
Bison Steak: Max health decreased from 25 to 24
Bundle of Fireworks: Launches increased from 8 (+4 per stack) to 12 (+6 per stack), damage decreased from 300% base damage to 150% base damage
Busting Fungus: Bugfix - Fixed a bug where you could pick up that item on every character. Now only available for Engineer
Cautious Slug: Is actually pretty useful
Crowbar: Bonus damage increased from 75% (+75% per stack) to 750% (+750% per stack). Amount of health needed for the damage to apply increased from 90% to 110%
Delicate watch: Bonus damage increased from 20% to 94%. Required health to break increased from 25% to 99%. Bugfix - now displays how much time you have left.
Energy drink: Renamed to SOOODA
Focus Crystal: Range increased from 13m to 13.1m
Gasoline: Bugfix - now also damages you
Item Scrap, white: now you can't have more than one Item Scrap of each kind at a time (They are too heavy)
Mocha: Item rework. Now considered to be a Lunar item. Increases your attack speed by 20% (+20% per stack) and movement speed by 19.5% (+19.5% per stack) for this round. Next round decreases your attack speed by 20% (+20% per stack) and movement speed by 19.5% (+19.5% per stack). After that turns into Pearl or Irradiant Pearl (chances the same as Cleansing Pool).
Monster Tooth: Healing orb now doesn't heal for 2% max health. Flat healing increased from 8 to 15.
Oddly-shaped Opal: Now also increases magic resist by 100
Paul's Goat Hoof: Bugfix - shrines are no longer bugged
Personal Shield Generator: Now renamed to Personal OneShotProtectoinGone Generator
Power Elixir: now a green item. Bugfix - it works
Repulsion Armor Plate: Incoming damage can be reduced to 0
Roll of Pennies: Now gives you 1 coin after obtaining item (you caught the falling coin)
Rusted Key: Cannot be found in containers. Now scuttered across the world
Soldier's Syringe: Upon obtaining this item your character has a flashback
Sticky Bomb: Now has a radius of 1m
Stun Grenade: Chance changed from 5% (+5% per stack) to 17%. Stun duration changed from 2 seconds to 0.5 (+0.5 per stack) seconds
Topaz Brooch: Temporary barrier health changed from 15 health (+15 per stack) to 8 plus an additional 2% (+2% per stack) maximum health
Tougher Times: Chance decreased from 15% (+15% per stack) to 10% (+10% per stack)
Tri-Tip Dagger: Bugfix - Bleed applies only to enemies that are in range of 13.1m
Warbanner: Radius increased from 16m (+8m per stack) to 16m (+16m per stack)
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AtG Missle Mk.1: Damage changed from 300% (+300% per stack) total damage to 500% (+500% per stack) bonus damage
Bandolier: Item minirework. Now killing an enemy spawns an ammo pack that resets all cooldown by 10% (+5% per stack)
Berserker's Pauldron: Bugfix - You can no longer control your survivor during frenzy
Chronobauble: Slow changed from 60% to 40%(+10% per stack). Duration decreased from 2s (+2s per stack) to 2s
Death Mark: Now requires you to apply every single debuff in the game, eclipse 11 difficulty, degree in psychology and a backflip. Damage unchanged
Fuel Cell: Removed cooldown reduction. Now you hold additional 1.5 (+1.1 per stack) equipment charge
Gnor's Tome: Renamed to Gnor's Safe
Harvester's Scythe: Critical strikes healing changed from 8 (+4 per stack) to 5 (+5 per stack)
Hoopo Feather: Renamed to Gearbox Feather
Hunter's Harpoon: Item rework. Killing an enemy now throws harpoon at 12m (+6m) behind player. Upon landing on surface or enemy, player is pulled to the landing point.
Ignition Tank: Bugfix - additional damage is now also applied on player
Infusion: Max health increase upon killing an enemy decreased from 1 (+1) to 1
Item Scrap, Green: Now increases all stats by 1% (+1% per stack)
Kjaro's Band: Bugfix - no longer possible to trigger on Commando
Leeching Seed: Healing changed from 1 (+1 per stack) to ONE (PLUS ONE per stack)
Lepton Daisy: Bugfix - also heals enemies
Old Guillotine: Item removed, requires sharping
Old War Stealthkit: Bugfix - the box now spawns properly on the player
Razorwire: Now has a cooldown of 0.1s
Red Whip: Icon change. It's not brown
Regenerating Scrap: Prioritized after Item Scrap, Green
Rose Buckler: Bugfix - blocks 100% damage from arrows
Runald's Band: Bugfix - no longer possible to trigger on Commando
Shipping Request Form: Now delivers Mocha and a random green item with 100% chance. Additional stacks now summon an additional delivery
Shuriken: Damage reduced from 400% (+100% per stack) to 399% (+100% per stack)
Squid Polyp: No longer has a set duration. Squid Turret damages itself by 11 (+3.2 per level)
Ukulele: Bugfix - chain LIGHTNING?
War Horn: Now applies frenzy
Wax Quail: While jumping increases your movement speed by 5% (+5% per stack)
Will-o'-the-wisp: Renamed to Slavery-o'-the-wisp
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57 Leaf Clover: And you are still unlucky
Aegis: Now is dropped from Mithrix
Alien head: Bugfix - You stink
Ben's Raincoat: Now increases health by 25 (+25 per stack)
Bottled Chaos: Is fun by itself
Brainstalks: Now frenzy applies 95% cooldown reduction
Brilliant Behemoth: Bugfix - explodes your computer
Ceremonial Dagger: Teleports you to active teleporter, kills Mithrix, kills Voidling, does your homework, graduates from colleague, has a happy life. Yes, the effect is unchanged.
Defensive Microbots: Can be found in chests
Dio's Best Friend: Unfortunately, still doesn't stop time
Frost Relic: Now doesn't slow you upon activation
H3AD-5T: Leaves permanent cracks on land in 10m-200m radius, that slows enemies by 20%
Happiest Mask: Now also is displayed on ghost. They are very happy
Hardlight Afterburner: your utility skill now leaves a trail of hard light, which stops enemies and deals 100% damage per second
Interstellar Desk Plant: Now can be seen in character selection menu
Item Scrap, Red: Now increases all stats by 3% (+3% per stack)
Laser Scope: Increases accuracy, increases enemies agro range
N'kuhana's Opinion: Nice opinion. One small issue. N'kuhana is inside your home
Pocket I.C.B.M.: Renamed to Pocket I.C.U.P
Rejuvenation Rack: Upon running into an enemy you deal 100% total damage to it
Resonance Disc: turns on your favourite Risk of Rain 2 OST
Sentient Meat Hook: Bugfix - hooks can miss
Shattering Justice: Reduced armour increased from 60 to 60 (+10 per stack)
Soulbound Catalyst: Exists
Spare Drone Parts: Gain Col. Droneman. Drones gain +50% (+50% per stack) attack speed and cooldown reduction. Drones gain 10% chance to fire a missile on hit, dealing 300% TOTAL damage. Drones gain an automatic chain gun that deals 6x100% damage, bouncing to 2 enemies. I just figured very few actually know what it does
Symbiotic Scorpion: chance reduced from 100% to 99%
Unstable Tesla Coil: Bugfix - also damages player. It is unstable after all
Wake of Vultures: You are now fully transformed into killed elite monster. True power
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Artifact Key: Bugfix - can't hold it. The immense power is too much to handle
Charged Perforator: 10% chance on hit to up a lightning strike
Defence Nucleus: No longer has a limit. Bonus damage is changed from 300% to 100% (+100% per stack)
Empathy Cores: Bugfix - No longer attack enemies
Genesis Loop: Cooldown formula changed to (log2(1073741824))/((70/2+37*0.2-0.4-40) +1 per stack)
Halcyon Seed: Damage and Health no longer increased per stack. +1 Aurelionite per stack
Irradiant pearl: chance of dropping increased from 20% to 25%. Do you remember that you are still not lucky
Item Scrap, Yellow: Now increases all stats by 5% (+5% per stack)
Little Disciple: Bugfix - Now fires while running backwards
Mired Urn: Clay Dunestrider will be remembered
Molten Perforator: 10% chance on hit to phone 3 magma balls from an enemy
Pearl: Removes one shot protection
Planula: Has a cooldown of 0.1s
Queen's Gland: No longer summons a Beetle Guard at the start of the round. He is late for work
Shatterspleen: Explosion leaves a blood stain on the ground which applies bleeding (1 stack per second)
Titanic Knurl: Maximum health decreased from 40 to 30 (+30 per stack). Now increases your damage by ((your maximum health amount)/5)%
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Beads of Fealty: Now it doesn't seem. It does nothing
Brittle Crown: Chance increased to 100%
Corpsebloom: Disappears upon picking up Kjaro's Band and Runald's Band
Defiant Gouge: Bugfix - Always summons enemies upon cleansing this item
Egocentrism: Instantly converts all your items into this item
Eulogy Zero: Doesn't display that the item is changed. Figure it out yourself
Focused Convergence: Teleporter zone reduction changed from 50%(-50% per stack) to 7m (-7m per stack)
Gesture of the Drowned: Has 1% chance for activating equipment without any effect
Light Flux Paudlon: Skill cooldown reduction changed from 50% (+50% per stack exponentially) to 50% (+10% per stack linearly). Attack speed decrease decreased from 50% to (+10% per stack)
Mercurial Rachis: I'm back! I'm back! My back! Ouf, my back!
Purity: Item minirework. Increases attack speed 40% (+40% per stack). All random effects are rolled +1 (+1 per stack) times for an unfavorable outcome.
Shaped Glass: Breaks at 50% health
Stone Flux Pauldron: Item minirework. Increase max health by 100% (+100% per stack). Reduce damage to enemies by 50% (+50% per stack)
Transcendence: Bugfix - Maximum health addition counts after conversion to shield
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Benthic Bloom: Mathematically finds the most useful item in your inventory and converts it either into Red Whip or Wake of Vultures. Yes, the effect is unchanged
Encrusted Key: Cannot be found in containers. Now scuttered across the void
Lost Seer's Lenses: now has a 0.1% (+0.1% per stack) to instantly kill Bosses
Lysate Cell: No longer adds +1 (+1 per stack) charge of your Special skill. Special skill cooldown reduction increased from 33% to 50% (+50% per stack exponentially)
Needletick: No longer corrupts all Tri-Tip Daggers. Corrupts all Sticky Bombs
Newly Hatched Zoea: Who?
Plasma Shrimp: Damaged changed from 40% total damage to 100% base damage
Pluripotent Larva: player dies
Polylute: actually looks like electric guitar
Safer Spaces: Bugfix - blocks incoming social insecurities
Singularity Band: Bugfix - no longer possible to trigger on Commando
Tentabauble: Item rework. Gives enemies 40% (+10% per stack) movement speed on hit. Change their movement physics to movement on ice physics
Voidsent Flame: Renamed to Evil Will-o'-the-wisp
Weeping Fungus: Bugfix - you die upon picking this item up on the Engeneer
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Blast Shower: Clears Suffocation for 3 seconds
Disposable Missile Launcher: Bugfix - after using item you throw it away
Eccentric Vase: Bugfix - Your survivors model stays
Executive Card: Use gives 100 gold. Scales over time
Foreign fruit: Has 3 limited uses
Forgive Me Please: Why should I
Fuel Array: Description changed. Looks like it could power something. EXTREMELY unstable... Like very unstable. Like you will die levels of unstable
Gnarled Woodsprite: Can't be sent to Squid Turret
Goobo Jr.: Now spawns Gup that has 300% damage and 300% health instead of your clone. Yep, Gup.
Gorag's Opus: you still can't control yourself in frenzy
Jade Elephant: Also gain 100 magic resist for the duration
Milky Chrysalis: After the effect spawn ally Beetle
Molotov (6-Pack): Bugfix - your survivor has a 6-Pack
Ocular HUD: Bugfix - adds HUD elements
Preon Accumulator: No longer can be found in chests
Primordial Cube: Bugfix - Fire a black cube
Radar Scanner: Reveal radius no longer has limits. Yes, it shows item boxes on the moon
Recycler: Cooldown increased from 45s to 120s
Remote Caffeinator: Now also delivers 1 Mocha
Royal Capacitator: calls down a lightning crown
Sawmerang: Now you have a chance to not catch this item
Super Massive Leech: Passively slows you for 20%
The Back-up: Plays random Call of Duty OST
The Crowdfunder: Cooldown increased from 0s to 5s
Trophy Hunter's Tricon: Doesn't look as cool
Trophy Hunter's Tricorn (Consumed): Bugfix - No longer looks kinda cool. Looks hella sick
Volcanic Egg: Automatically flies into an open mouth. Egg. Mouth
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Effigy of Grief: Renamed to Little Guy
Glowing Meteorite: Passively gives you 10% maximum health
Helfire Tincture: Damage interval is set to 5 times per second
Spinel Tonic: Drink the Tonic, gaining a boost for 20 seconds. Increases damage by +100%. Increases attack speed by +70%. Increases armor by +20. Increases maximum health by +50%. Increases passive health regeneration by +300%. Increases movespeed by +30%. When the Tonic wears off, you have a 20% chance to gain a Tonic Affliction, reducing all of your stats by -5% (-5% per stack). Reading out how absurd it is
Happy april fools :)

I'm a bit stumped on something I'm working on.
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I'm working on a book that involves various types of superhumans, ala Marvel comics style, meaning that there are mutants/aliens/science experiments/robots and so on. I've got the vast majority of it worked out, but there's literally one phrase that's giving me grief.
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Scientifically, everyone is classified with things like "Class A Unknown", "Class D Mutant" or "Class B Extraterrestrial", based on how much of a danger they are and, obviously, the source of their power. Colloquially, they'd just be called "mutants", "aliens", etc, which is also fine.
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The part that's giving me an issue is that I don't particularly want to refer to them as Supers/Metahumans/etc when referring to the general "has powers" population. I have absolutely no idea what to actually call them. I do know I don't want it to be (something)human, because it's a catch all for all the types, including aliens, robots, humans with robot parts or magic, and supernatural creatures. It's the sort of phrase politicians would use when speaking publicly, in news reports, and so on, for both heroes and villains. If, for example, a guy turns mind controls the staff at a bank to rob it, and it's not clear if he's human or an alien, the news report would use this phrase - "An unknown (blank) robbed the bank on Fifth and Main today".
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Any suggestions would be appreciated. Keep in mind, it doesn't have to be *super* serious - the story isn't particularly serious most of the time. I don't want it to be a complete joke term, but if it's an acronym a character might joke sounds forced, that's fine. I'll take just about anything that can get me on the right track here, it's driving me nuts.

Hi, I'm a 26-year-old male and an accounting graduate from a university in Quezon City. Right after graduation, I reviewed for the board exams with my friend in CPAR. She passed the exams, while I didn't even take the boards that year. I really regret that decision, at least to the extent that I can feel that the people around me is somewhat disappointed in me. "A brilliant individual" is how people around me often describe me. But somehow that changed after that one decision that I made in 2018.
My family started to treat me like someone who couldn't make any rational decisions. But what I really can't forget is what my professor in college told me the last time we met, about 6 months after the October exams. He said: "Alam mo sayang, ka magaling ka pa naman top ka sa klase ko." At that moment everything sinked in na realize ko lahat lalo na yung mga opportunities na sinayang ko. Simula noon pakiramdam ko di nako nakarecover yung motivation ko at unti unti ring nawala yung mga reasons ko na magtake ng CPALE.
The following year, I tried to do a self-review for the board exam in May but ended up bailing again. My reason at that time was that I needed to review pa kasi gusto ko sa top 10 ako, which is the same reason why I didn't take the exam in October of the previous year, as noong nag preboard that in October of 2018, I was only on top 19. My thinking at that time was that if I gave it some effort, maybe I could enter the top 10. Kaya from October 2018 to May 2019, naging October 2019 ng finally nagtake nako ng exam and failed, puro reasons ginawa ko at lagi kong reason di pako nakakareview di ako prepared kaya di ako magtatake, but the more na dinelay ko for more time to review, eh wala namang pagrereview na nangyari, ni hindi ko nabuksan yung libro kahit isang pahina.
The truth is that ang hirap mag aral magisa lalo na kung yung naging motivation mo lang to finish the course is your friends. So that October, after not reading or solving any accounting-related materials, I took the boards. At that time, bago mag-exam ang yabang ko, pa sabi ko sa sarili ko, what if pumasa ko, how cool will that be after more than a year of not studying? Not surprisingly, I failed that October 2019 CPALE.
I ended up not having a job for 2 years because of my stupid decisions, and after I failed the boards, I was really devastated. Mostly because I failed, and that failure was a result of me not giving my best. Yung kaya ko naman kaso di ko pinahalagahan yung mga privilege nabinigay sakin, 3 consecutive review centers na fully paid ng parents ko na bihira lang ako pumasok at may allowance and condo pa. Ang dami kong sinayang na habang tumatagal na rerealize ko na tama yung prof ko baka nga sayang ako.
After 2 years of being depressed, I finally had the courage to go out again and find a job. But at that time, my confidence level was so low that I didn't have the guts to apply for an accounting-related job. I felt at the time that I didn't deserve it, so I applied to a BPO company instead. I did a great job there and was awarded as one of the top employees in my first year. Pero di ako masaya pakiramdam ko, I don't belong there, na hindi yun yung para sakin araw araw, I'm questioning myself: "Anong ginagawa mo dito".
The following year, I received the devastating news that my friend had died. My friend's father told me that she died because of an illness that was misdiagnosed, and because COVID cases were high during that time, she wasn't able to go to the hospital regularly to be checked. This was hard on me because she's the one I looked up to when I was in college; she's the one who got herself all figured out, the complete opposite of me. She was like my anchor when I was at university.
You see, she's very smart, hardworking, and even finished college with a full scholarship. She's also the "Panganay," so she has all these hopes that someday she'll be successful and be able to help her family. So being with her somewhat motivated me to study. I'm a very laid-back person, and she always kept me in line, reminding me that I can't get everything in life so easily and that I should work hard to get what I want. So when she died, that brought me to the worst point of my life. It's just so hard to think about all the things she will never be able to do or be.
I was thinking up until now that maybe if I found out sooner that she was having medical problems. I could have referred her to my uncle. I have all the resources to help her, but I didn't because I thought she was alright. I could have helped her with the medical bills so that her family wouldn't have to struggle so much. I just can't accept the fact that she died because no hospital will accept her because they thought it was COVID. It was a very curable illness; it's just that it happened at the worst time.
Right after her funeral, I decided that I would do everything she told me that she wanted to do. So I quit my job, booked a plane ticket, and traveled to Thailand. That country na gustong gusto nya puntahan ever since, but di nya napuntahan.
Pero habang nasa Thailand ako, I felt really sad; narealize ko na she's the most precious person in my life, and that I do love her. I had all these regrets bugging my mind all throughout my stay there. Nasana kung di ko sinayang 4 years ng buhay ko magkasama sana kami now. Or at least, man lang, I made the effort to spend more time with her before she died. Ang daming what ifs, and that happened because I was so engulfed in my own sorrows that I didn't even bother to check on her; in fact, she was the one always reaching out to me. But everything is too late now.
Kaya ngayon nagdecide ako na hindi lang yung dream destination niya yung puntahan ko kundi pati narin yung mga bagay na di nya natupad ay tuparin ko para sa kanya especially her dream of us becoming a lawyer.
I'm currently traveling and wandering around Asia right now as a backpacker and working as an ESL instructor for a couple of months in different countries. Right now I've decided to finally quit my job and go home and try to fix my life. Gusto ko tuparin yung lagi nyang sinasabi na magtake ako ulit ng CPALE at this time; gawin ko na yung best ko. And when I pass, I'm planning to go to law school for her to fulfill one of her dreams. I hope this is the right decision now. And maybe someday I can be the person that she has always wanted me to be.

Hi, I'm a 26-year-old male and an accounting graduate from a university in Quezon City. Right after graduation, I reviewed for the board exams with my friend in CPAR. She passed the exams, while I didn't even take the boards that year. I really regret that decision, at least to the extent that I can feel that the people around me is somewhat disappointed in me. "A brilliant individual" is how people around me often describe me. But somehow that changed after that one decision that I made in 2018.
My family started to treat me like someone who couldn't make any rational decisions. But what I really can't forget is what my professor in college told me the last time we met, about 6 months after the October exams. He said: "Alam mo sayang, ka magaling ka pa naman top ka sa klase ko." At that moment everything sinked in na realize ko lahat lalo na yung mga opportunities na sinayang ko. Simula noon pakiramdam ko di nako nakarecover yung motivation ko at unti unti ring nawala yung mga reasons ko na magtake ng CPALE.
The following year, I tried to do a self-review for the board exam in May but ended up bailing again. My reason at that time was that I needed to review pa kasi gusto ko sa top 10 ako, which is the same reason why I didn't take the exam in October of the previous year, as noong nag preboard that in October of 2018, I was only on top 19. My thinking at that time was that if I gave it some effort, maybe I could enter the top 10. Kaya from October 2018 to May 2019, naging October 2019 ng finally nagtake nako ng exam and failed, puro reasons ginawa ko at lagi kong reason di pako nakakareview di ako prepared kaya di ako magtatake, but the more na dinelay ko for more time to review, eh wala namang pagrereview na nangyari, ni hindi ko nabuksan yung libro kahit isang pahina.
The truth is that ang hirap mag aral magisa lalo na kung yung naging motivation mo lang to finish the course is your friends. So that October, after not reading or solving any accounting-related materials, I took the boards. At that time, bago mag-exam ang yabang ko, pa sabi ko sa sarili ko, what if pumasa ko, how cool will that be after more than a year of not studying? Not surprisingly, I failed that October 2019 CPALE.
I ended up not having a job for 2 years because of my stupid decisions, and after I failed the boards, I was really devastated. Mostly because I failed, and that failure was a result of me not giving my best. Yung kaya ko naman kaso di ko pinahalagahan yung mga privilege nabinigay sakin, 3 consecutive review centers na fully paid ng parents ko na bihira lang ako pumasok at may allowance and condo pa. Ang dami kong sinayang na habang tumatagal na rerealize ko na tama yung prof ko baka nga sayang ako.
After 2 years of being depressed, I finally had the courage to go out again and find a job. But at that time, my confidence level was so low that I didn't have the guts to apply for an accounting-related job. I felt at the time that I didn't deserve it, so I applied to a BPO company instead. I did a great job there and was awarded as one of the top employees in my first year. Pero di ako masaya pakiramdam ko, I don't belong there, na hindi yun yung para sakin araw araw, I'm questioning myself: "Anong ginagawa mo dito".
The following year, I received the devastating news that my friend had died. My friend's father told me that she died because of an illness that was misdiagnosed, and because COVID cases were high during that time, she wasn't able to go to the hospital regularly to be checked. This was hard on me because she's the one I looked up to when I was in college; she's the one who got herself all figured out, the complete opposite of me. She was like my anchor when I was at university.
You see, she's very smart, hardworking, and even finished college with a full scholarship. She's also the "Panganay," so she has all these hopes that someday she'll be successful and be able to help her family. So being with her somewhat motivated me to study. I'm a very laid-back person, and she always kept me in line, reminding me that I can't get everything in life so easily and that I should work hard to get what I want. So when she died, that brought me to the worst point of my life. It's just so hard to think about all the things she will never be able to do or be.
I was thinking up until now that maybe if I found out sooner that she was having medical problems. I could have referred her to my uncle. I have all the resources to help her, but I didn't because I thought she was alright. I could have helped her with the medical bills so that her family wouldn't have to struggle so much. I just can't accept the fact that she died because no hospital will accept her because they thought it was COVID. It was a very curable illness; it's just that it happened at the worst time.
Right after her funeral, I decided that I would do everything she told me that she wanted to do. So I quit my job, booked a plane ticket, and traveled to Thailand. That country na gustong gusto nya puntahan ever since, but di nya napuntahan.
Pero habang nasa Thailand ako, I felt really sad; narealize ko na she's the most precious person in my life, and that I do love her. I had all these regrets bugging my mind all throughout my stay there. Nasana kung di ko sinayang 4 years ng buhay ko magkasama sana kami now. Or at least, man lang, I made the effort to spend more time with her before she died. Ang daming what ifs, and that happened because I was so engulfed in my own sorrows that I didn't even bother to check on her; in fact, she was the one always reaching out to me. But everything is too late now.
Kaya ngayon nagdecide ako na hindi lang yung dream destination niya yung puntahan ko kundi pati narin yung mga bagay na di nya natupad ay tuparin ko para sa kanya especially her dream of us becoming a lawyer.
I'm currently traveling and wandering around Asia right now as a backpacker and working as an ESL instructor for a couple of months in different countries. Right now I've decided to finally quit my job and go home and try to fix my life. Gusto ko tuparin yung lagi nyang sinasabi na magtake ako ulit ng CPALE at this time; gawin ko na yung best ko. And when I pass, I'm planning to go to law school for her to fulfill one of her dreams. I hope this is the right decision now. And maybe someday I can be the person that she has always wanted me to be.