Friend emojis snapchat ideas

When I go to search for someone on Snapchat it gives me lots of random accounts under “friends and groups” even if I’m not friends with them.
The chat says that they’re not my friend but can still chat with them, but if I click on the top right for their profile, it gives me the option to manage friendship and unadd them.
There’s tons of them, anyone know where they came from or what they are?

Sorry for the long post in advance, but I need to vent. My fiance and I got engaged back in November, and we have been trying to figure out what we wanted to do for a wedding. Neither of us have ever dreamed of a big wedding, but we did explore a similar option because we were interested in having a private ceremony with a large party after (appetizers, drinks, yard games, etc.).
My parents offered up a little bit of money which was nice but it wasn't much (wouldn't even cover appetizers with the way inflation is right now). My mother and his mother demanded more and more people be invited, sending our guest count from 50 to over 100 - needless to say this got WAY too expensive for us with the demands of our mothers. We don't want to spend tons of money on putting a show on for others, we would rather save for a house and such. Needless to say, their demands were not in line with the amount of money they were contributing. We were also getting a lot of unwanted input on how we had to spend our day from the mothers (down to fighting weekly about the wedding colors, the people invited, where it was going to be, etc.) We scrapped that idea due to the amount of issues it was causing both families because in our eyes, it is not worth the stress.
We ended up proposing the idea of eloping to the families, and both gave us the ok. We originally planned on going to Yellowstone for a weekend (aiming for 5.5.24), but we recently admitted to ourselves that what we want would get expensive quickly and we weren't necessarily comfortable spending all of that just to get married (good photographer, place to stay, flights). We are best friends, we want the marriage, not the wedding.
Well, in the past couple of weeks, we got notice that my wedding band is almost done and I am being laid off. We saw these as signs that we should just go and do it! I have tons of time to get everything together with planning, a dress, a photographer, etc. Since my band is almost done, it feels right! We decided we didn't want to do Yellowstone anymore, so why wait any longer?! We got super excited and have 90% of planning done. We are going to take a quick trip to NH and get married by the Kancamangus for the scenery.
THEN, we decided to tell my parents. My mother threw the largest tantrum and started crying about how we must hate her since we didn't invite her. Her initial reaction was 'you're just marrying him for benefits because you're getting laid off'. Ummmmm ouch - we have been engaged for a while and didn't know how we wanted to get married. The timing seems right for us, and yes, it would be great to have his health insurance, but I might have a job by next month and not even need it. Keep in mind, we got the ok from both sets of parents before we planned this. We then explained that if we invited them, we would be obligated to invite my sister, brother in law, and my fiance's family as well. This turns into exactly what we didn't want due to all of the harsh opinions from others about the wedding. I asked my mother if she would be able to have a positive attitude the day of our wedding since it's not going to be 'traditional' and she said 'I can't promise I won't piss you off'.
We ended up breaking and saying that immediate family can come, but that's it. We will go to lunch with them after, but then we are going our separate ways. I am VERY worried due to my mother's behavior at my sister's wedding. For context, my sister had a quick ceremony by a lighthouse, then dinner after with about 50 people. My mother was an absolute monster the entire day because she was mad it wasn't a church wedding (neither my sister nor I are baptized), mad that she didn't get to sit down at the 10 minute ceremony (there were no chairs), mad that she didn't have her own table at the reception (the bride and groom had their own, then everyone else was at two very long tables). Ten minutes before my sister got married, my mother asked her 'Do you really want to marry this asshole' - my mother and brother in law work together. She said this because he pranked her about 6 months before the wedding by leaving a fake mouse by her desk. These are only a FEW of the things that happened there. It was a mess.
I love my mother, but she has grown into the most intolerable person to be around. If it isn't about her, then it's a problem. I am doing my best to compromise so everyone is happy, but she has shoved her way into our plans that were supposed to be intimate. I am hoping that I can just get ready alone with my future husband, then meet them at the location, then do a quick lunch. I am so disappointed, frustrated, and manipulated into doing what I don't want to do. I wish my mother could just be happy for us, but unfortunately she can't and I am not ready to end the relationship with her yet.
If you could offer any words of encouragement or support, that would be very helpful. I am so upset that this isn't just a happy time for us, as it should be. Feeling hurt.

I've kept a journal since I was a kid, but I've found the editing process on here is more conducive to what I'm trying to achieve versus the brain-dump I practice with journaling.
Thoughts in no particular order:
I came to the conclusion that I'm not generally angry or sad, or at least I haven't been for a few days. That's not to say I'm happy, but if I had to put a word on my emotions right now it would probably be humbled.
The infidelity subs are depressing. There's so much collective hurt that I've found them hard to look at, much less post in.
My PCP's office told me to come in next week for the STD test. I'd happily go the rest of my life without that conversation happening again.
My wife's friend group has been withdrawn from her. Aside from a few check-ins, her group chats have been quiet. Regardless of what happens between us I want those ladies in her life, so it's hard to watch. Her best friend called me to tell me she had no idea at all, which I believe. She's hurting too.
Re: what happens between us. I want this to work. I want us to collectively move forward in a better state. If I don't try, I'll regret it the rest of my life. I don't want this weekend to be the last time we ever take our kids on a trip together.
In hindsight, while I viewed our sexual intimacy as being problematic, she was struggling with emotional intimacy when I thought it was pretty damn good. I described our sexual relationship as feast or famine; to get myself through the famine phases I would greatly reduce trying to initiate sex (because I didn't want to feel bad after being rejected), but when I stopped trying to have sex with her, her self-confidence would plummet even though I was still telling her she was pretty / hot / sexy / whatever and we were still cuddling / kissing / holding hands. It was a viscous cycle.
I do believe they weren't physical. I'm not sure how much longer that would have been the case, and frankly don't care. That doesn't change my stance on the STD test though. She's also decided to do one, I'm assuming because our marriage counselor covered it.
She resigned from the organization she was volunteering with. I'm torn because she was passionate about it, but at the same time I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved in her choice. Hopefully she can find another outlet.
The dumb tiff we got into yesterday was about underwear. I put a CK bra / panty set in her stocking last year, and they've been in her drawer since then with the tags on them. Yesterday she wore them, and while she wore them incredibly well, I got annoyed because I felt she was trying too hard to get me to notice it. Was it in my head? Maybe. She said she just wanted something comfortable (she's definitely not pregnant) and thanked me for getting them for her. She didn't walk away from the conversation or not let me speak, she listened then told me her side then listened some more. Honestly I felt like a dick, especially after I noticed she changed afterwards.

Basically I'm running a one shot (might take more than one session idk) that I'm intended to take the players from level 2 to 4 and I'm trying to figure out exactly how much I should plan ahead for.
I've got a combat encounter planned to quickly get the part involved with that will give a lead to advance to a particular location nearby. Once the party finds the location, there will be a group of guards outside that the players will probably have to fight but could plausibly peacefully avoid.
Once inside, I've got 2 different combat encounters planned (one with animated armor and flying swords, another with a displacer beast and a gnoll) plus a couple rooms without enemies that might have an uncommon magic item or two.
After the players explored a couple rooms and triggered at least one of the combat encounters, the "correct" door with their objective can be found to be one of the rooms in the building (if the players ignore the rooms and try to beeline for the objective I would change the displacer beast encounter to be a wandering patrol that interrupts them).
The idea for the structure is basically:
Players start at level 2 in a party of 3
Combat encounter with an NPC that needs help and will give info on a fort to go to
Level up to level 3
Players locate the fort and go through ~2 combat encounters plus potential to discover a couple items
Level up to level 4
Showdown with the boss of the people occupying the fort. No item reward for succeeding immediately, players escort the kidnapped person back to the town and receive reward then.
​
I have a couple questions:

1. Is it a bad idea to give the party a friendly NPC to join their party for this? It would be a person being attacked by monsters in the first encounter who accompany you to the fort. Should they not be combat-capable so that I or the players don't need to worry about him?
2. The final fight I want to be versus a single knight that will attempt to teleport away if he has to fight and gets to very low health. Is it okay to run a 3v1 against him or is he going to just get action economy'd out of existence? I'm finding it a little hard to balance low level combat encounters because of how extra enemies make the CR balloon up.
3. Is my leveling plan a bad idea? I wanted to give the players the satisfaction of leveling up but if the whole idea would work better if everyone just started at like level 3 and the level up would only happen after the final fight and if we decide to continue the adventure?
4. Should I be planning for the party ignoring the hook about the fort? I'm running this with the intention of being a self contained story with the possibility of turning into a longer campaign if the players enjoy it. The players would essentially be working for a local duke so there would be consequences for ignoring the hook (probably turning them into an enemy of the duke and becoming an unaffiliated party).

​
I appreciate any help

So I just discovered this subreddit, and I’m totally overwhelmed.
Do you guys think you love too deep? I honestly don’t think dating or the idea of marriage is healthy for me, so I’ve stopped. Everytime I got to know a girl I’d hyper analyze everything and just totally obsess so I figured maybe dating is not for me because it stresses me out so much.
I’m still a super sexual person however so I started seeing escorts when I was 21. I think the clear boundary that although we can be friendly with each other and laugh together, etc. but that our interaction is strictly a financial transaction is most healthy for me.

I play on ios and my phone decided it would be a great idea to automatically update to 1.20. However, because it updated, I now can’t play on the lifesteal crossplay server I was playing on with my friends, as we can’t update the server until the mods we have come out with 1.20 versions. Is there any way I can revert to 1.19 or other previous versions without having to jailbreak my phone or pirate the game?

Fire the writers, burn the place down, it's over Johnny. This was the lamest, laziest, dumbest idea to come out of this show in the last five years. This human Canadian wildfire has choked every last bit of originality and fun out of this show. He's a succubus, he has adopted Howard's personality, fears, likes, dislikes, and his best friend. This guy is a gay doppelganger. He probably is going to start leaving Knick games early. JD should run not walk to the nearest psychologist so he doesn't end up working for this gay dust cloud.

I have an idea for a home improvement reality show called “Show Me Your Caulk” in which attractive single homeowners and contractors are secretly paired together by their friends to see who would hit it off. Because I have the maturity level of a 10 year-old, I think I would continue to find this witty for years 😄

So to preface this she and I had been friends since circa 2017/18. For this story I will call her Lisa. Lisa and I met in school. I just had started the school year as a new kid in that class, because I had to redo 8th grade. When I first met her I noticed how kind she was, but that she was also struggling with some serious stuff and on top of that it seemed like nobody in class took her seriously.
I am also kind of an outsider and I wanted her to have someone to talk to. So slowly our friendship began and we often talked about our problems, espically the mental health ones.
It helped having someone understand your struggles. She was there for me and I was there for her. Lisa always struggled with attachment issues, because her parents were so shitty. So she attached herself to boys, not with intention of course, but she always seemed to kind of obsese over some boy and I had to sit trough it and listen. Of course I understand why she did it and she was my best friend after all I wanted to listen to her.
The thing is though that the struggles with boys never stopped not since I knew her. If she got over one boy she almost immediately switched to a new one. And then she met a boy in clinic and they started to date. It was Lisas first boyfriend. He also struggled with mental health and while I do think he cared for her in some way, he was kind of toxic. In the end he always minimized her feelings and both their insecurities just clashed so they broke up.
Of course Lisa was heartbroken. Understandable it was her first boyfriend and it wasn't a good breakup. So I was there for her, but this time it was different. It seemed like she was consumed with grief and could not think about anything else. I do understand that heartbreak is terrible and I do not fault her for her feelings, but it also really affected our friendship. Lisa talked about her problems and I listened and I wanted to be there for her, but after some time it got exhausting.
There was no friendship anymore, there were just her problems. Don't get me wrong once again I understand that heartbreak is not easy to get over and that in the past I also shared struggles that where oart of conversation for weeks. But Lisa and her ex were trapped in a cicle. One moment they were texting and everything was okay the next they would fought and would say that they should not speak with each other.
That cicle repeated many times. I would be there for her and tell her that he wasn't a good boyfriend in the first place, but she always dismissed me - no words came through to her. Now I understand that, when I'm stressed I also tend to block everything out. One day I noticed that I could not listen to her problems all the time anymore.
I felt bad, because I knew she was grieving and the she herself did not want to be consumed by her problems. So I set a boundary that she could maybe ask before dhe talked about her ex, because my energy levels were low and I wanted to be really there for her and not just not really listening anymore, because it was the same stuff and not being really there for her. I wanted that boundary so that we would still have a friendship.
Her first reaction was telling me that I obviously did not care if she was going to kill herself in the next moment. I was shocked I didn't think that. We talked about it, after I told her that it was a shitty thing to write and she apoligized. I understood that she was in a bad place but it still made me feel bad. That was last October.
After that I often reminded her to please ask me if I had energy. She often forgot. I still had my own problems which I no longer wanted to share with her. So I distanced myself mentally and physically. I was exhaustend to no end. Always when I thought it would get better she would have texted her ex again or he her. She said that it was because she has Borderline, that it was so hard for her. I do understand that. I do get that it was and is harder on her. That she didn't want to struggle either.
Like I said nothing really else mattered to her anymore. In the last few months it got better and I knew she was trying harder to be aware of my feelings and she was interested in what I had done that week.
But then two weeks ago she texted her ex again. I noticed that I had distanced myself from Lisa and she had asked me if I did. I was honest to her. It wouldn't help lying. It would only help being honest. So I told her on Sunday that I knew that she improved and that I did understand her, but that I had noticed that our friendship wasn't as strong. Just mentally I was gone from it.
We talked and it seemed like we both understand that it was understandable that I lost energy, but that I also could still could have been more there for her. So I decided that we should talk in Person about our stuff. We met on Monday and she feels bad again. I didn't expect her to be cheery so it was ok. Then she told me that she thought that we maybe shouldn't meet anymore, because her problems wouldn't fade away like that. I said that as long as we respected our boundaries it could be ok. She was unsure, saying that it probably was just her attachment issues.
Then she texted me yesterday that about some stuff about me that had bothered her. One thing was smth were in retropsect I would not have done it, but at that time, when I asjed her she had said yes. The other thing was her saying that she was annoyed that we werent meeting as often, even when she offered to meet. I was confused.
Of course she can talk about her problems with me, but I thought we had established why I didn't do it in the past and since only 4 days had gone by since we talked about it on Sunday. And the on Monday we met. Her problem was that I spend much more time with another friend of mine instead of her and yes I do, but like I said I thought I had explained why and that we also saw each other not that long ago. So I was confused to say the least and also kind of done.
Then Lisa said that she felt exhausted from our friendship, that she felt as if she wasn't as important to me, but that she also did not want to lose me. I know with me distancing myself I have hurt her, but for so long I had been there for and tried to ignore my feeling of our friendship not being anything else, but like a therapist costumer situation.
Originally we had planed to fly to Spain together in Summer - a vacation that was booked weeks before this argument - and after our conversation yesterday we thought maybe it could show us if we should stay friend or not. All in all not a bad idea, but I kind of knew we weren't going to be best friends anymore and her coment about being exhausted from our friendship kind of triggered me.
So I told her that I didn't think we should be best friends anymore and explained again how I felt and that I knew that I also wasn't always a good friend and that I hoped we maybe still could talk from time to time. That message was in retrospect still a little harsh and I wish I would not have send it. But whats done is done.
Lisas response was that she could not do anything about me. That I still needed to send her the money for the flight, that I should log out of her spotify, that she thought that it was bullshit to write from time to time and that it was my problem if I could not forgive her for the messages she sent me in October. I answered that I understood that I had hurt her, why she was angry and that I didnt expect her act like everything was okay. I only said that I didn't want her complety out of my life. But if she doesnt not want that, that I'm going to accept that. The message I regret, but that our friendship was over was a decision that I did not decide on a whim.
So the question is was I too harsh? I know that she did not choose to have these problems and that's why I'm feeling guilty. She did have her problems, but I knew that she also did care about me. She liked to bring me little things if she had the money for it for example...
TLDR: I ended a friendship, because she always talked about her problems and I feel guilty because she did not choose to have these problems.

I’m a twenty one year old female and a few years back when I was eighteen I was completely in love with my friends brother. Like truly, madly deeply in love with him. The call your friend at two am gushing about how you and him had just hung out, how his touch was electrifying and the addition to that feeling.
My friend was supportive, he was twenty at the time and found it cute. Often teasing me and giving me unbiased advice.
For the longest time I thought the he felt the same. He could come through the drive thru at work, I knew his order and would always be at window to tease him with a drink in hand. All my coworkers knew, equally as teasing. It was embarrassing in the best way possible. I never thought a guy like him could ever think about me the same way, nobody had ever looked at me like that. I was alway the less attractive one, the second choice but for once I thought maybe I really could be someone’s first choice.
At the time I was unmedicated, I was aware of the severe depression I had but was too afraid to actually take the step to have a doctor vocalize it. When I got at text from him it was like the static in my brain cleared ever so slightly. My drug was the messages we sent, snapchats of mundane things or early morning bed head picks. I checked my phone religiously and pretend to send the wrong snap just to a response.
A few months of this makeshift honeymoon phase and things seemed to shift so sudden and felt much more one sided. Eventually he told me he didn’t want to be more than a friend and that leading me on is not his intention. Our interactions only seemed to deepen. Cuddled up on park benches and using data to watch Netflix in a park. Dancing in a tunnel while it rained. I would have gone all the way if he asked me.
He got a girlfriend and everything snapped. I didn’t know for months, pinning and practically begging for and ounce of acknowledgment. Unable to go cold turkey with little to no warning. When I did find out it was an accident. He was dating a coworker, one I had giddily gushed to about my feelings. I tried my best to give them space but that’s when things started to spiral in my mind. Those three am calls were filled with crying pathetically to you best friend.
Months of sending a random text every couple of weeks. Maybe you could still be friends because even if I can’t have you seeing you happy is enough. His responses never really came. The friendship with his brother falls out, as does the one with the best friend. There’s a rumour that his girlfriend is pregnant and I try to pretend I’m over him.
I see him randomly at work we talk a bit, catch up. It’s nice to see him. She wasn’t pregnant and they broke up. We chat a few days later.
Almost a two years have passed since that first flicker of feelings. We don’t talk at all and I’m moving in with my life from some intense events. Moved on from relationships I never got to mourn. I’m medicated, doing better.
One night I’m home alone and something inside me breaks. I haven’t been so secluded from people. I could always open a room and someone would respond. I was completely alone in the house for the first time in a year. I delete everyone off my social media, block and profiles I was holding onto with the last shred of my life. It wasn’t just him. It was everything from the last two years.
I’m twenty one now and have pretty much moved on. Occasionally I’ll wonder if he hears a song or a certain colour he thinks of me. Sometimes I wounded if I was the problem, had I scared him worse than he had done. Was I biased to my own delusion?
I wonder if it would be worth it to unblock him and apologize. If I really was the monster then doesn’t he deserve an apology, at the same time I worry it might open a can of worms we both would have rather kept sealed.
Honest responses only please, there is no need to sugar coat anything.

How do I get into production/jazz for schools like Berklee and other music colleges? I have no clue on how to get in, and all my friends have no idea as well

So my boyfriend and I split up briefly and have recently gotten back together. We lived together for 2 of those years but I am now living back at home. Since I moved out during the breakup he needed a housemate and he did ask me about it and I was more than fine with him having a female housemate because I trust him and he assured me that nothing happened between them and he has no intention at all. His friends keep making sex jokes about them and she quite obviously flirted with him tonight in front of me. Ever since she moved in I have had two conversations with her and I come over basically everyday. My bf told me she’s shy and I understand that but I’m such a friendly person and am neurodivergent so I’m not hard to talk to. I’m a little bit annoyed that she hasn’t bothered to get to know me at all and I would try but again I don’t live here anymore and I’m trying not to make her feel like I own the place because I don’t even live here anymore. I’ve talked to my bf about it and he just says that she’s shy and doesn’t come out of her room but she will Snapchat him the entire time, I just feel like she doesn’t want to even try to get to know me. Im not sure if I’m just reading too much into the situation but I am just uneasy. Just want some other peoples insight cause it’s a complicated situation.

Allow me to share an extraordinary encounter that unfolded during my stay in a guest house located in the scenic F6 sector of Islamabad. As a 40-year-old visitor, I found myself embarking on an unexpected journey that defied all rational explanation.
Due to persistent insomnia, I had endured 50 sleepless hours, yearning for a moment of respite. Determined to find a remedy, I ventured out to a nearby liquor store to acquire a bottle of vodka, hoping it would lull me into a peaceful slumber. Returning to the guest house, I stored the vodka in the refrigerator and sought solace in the comfort of my room, engaging in familiar pastimes such as watching my favorite television series.
To my bewilderment, the episode I encountered took an utterly bizarre turn, shattering the boundaries of the show's typical plotlines. As I followed the narrative of The Good Doctor, a popular series I had grown fond of, I was confronted with an extraordinary scene. Lea, one of the characters, found herself in a most unconventional situation with a friend when Shaun, the main character, unexpectedly appeared, unveiling an entirely unexpected aspect of his character. This unprecedented scenario left me in a state of confusion and discomfort, as it strayed far from the show's usual content. The peculiar encounter lingered vividly in my memory, triggering a mix of astonishment and disquietude.
To further complicate matters, I engaged in several lengthy conversations with individuals through messaging platforms such as Messenger and Instagram. These discussions seemed remarkably detailed and profound, intertwining with my perplexing experiences within the guest house. In a peculiar twist, I discovered myself added to unfamiliar Snapchat groups, populated by individuals I had never encountered before. The nature of these interactions seemed surreal, evoking a sense of unease and uncertainty.
The culmination of these inexplicable events led me to seek solace in the vodka I had acquired. Succumbing to the numbing effects of alcohol, I finally succumbed to sleep, hoping for a fresh start in the morning.
However, upon awakening, a sense of bewilderment enveloped me as I grappled with fragmented recollections of the previous day's events. Determined to find clarity, I turned to my trusty PC, hoping to retrace the peculiar episode of The Good Doctor. To my surprise, I found no trace of the specific episode that had left such a lasting impression. The plot I had witnessed had seemingly vanished into thin air, replaced by an entirely divergent storyline. Similarly, my conversations, once brimming with depth and significance, could not be found on my messaging platforms. The unfamiliar Snapchat groups, along with their enigmatic inhabitants, remained a mere figment of my imagination. It was as if those two hours of my life had been wiped clean, leaving behind only unanswered questions and a lingering sense of wonder.
Even now, as a visitor in the F6 sector of Islamabad, I remain haunted by the perplexing nature of my experience. Contemplating the possibility of parallel dimensions, fleeting encounters with alternate realities, or mere illusions born out of a restless mind, I find myself lost in a labyrinth of uncertainty.

Truly, I feel like I'm going mad somehow.
Growing up I never even thought of my gender: I felt it was a given, something I could never change about myself. I've had fantasies about crossdressing, makeup, and was generally jealous of women's bodies since my early teens...but they were just that: fantasies, that I'd indulge every so often. I kept that part of myself contained to my browsing history and mind mostly, and I didn't want people to know I had them because I feared I'd be judged or something.
I was jealous of women's bodies though, and I did remember being really upset about the fact I'd never get to have a body like that on occasion as a teen, but I could hardly tell you where those thoughts even came from or if they were triggered or not. Thoughts about crossdressing and/or stealing clothes from my sistemom, when they did come up, were typically disregarded with a mental "haha no, I'm not doing that, it's wrong" and I'd go about my day. In any case, my mental health was shit and I had other things to worry about.
So up until fairly recently I just assumed this was all some kind of fetish or something.
But in the last few months things have started to really ramp up and I don't know why. I moved out for college started experimenting with feminine presentation in my own private space and it kinda feels like my mind has gone berserk.
Those passing, easily-dismissed thoughts about being a girl started becoming daily, and now hourly things. I'm having a hard time focusing as a result. I feel jealous of girls a lot more. Sometimes I'll see girls on campus and feel a deep tug in my chest and an urge to look away it gets so bad. I've started to feel very anxious about my body and facial hair and I've grown to hate it to the point of regularly shaving it whereas I previously had no issue with body hair. I get really sad about not being a girl sometimes and I don't know why. My chest looks wrong, my body feels misshapen somehow. I can't stop thinking about being a girl and dating as one and having a sundress and I even cried about it once or twice.
I mentioned some of this to a close friend of mine when it started ramping up a bit and she asked me if I thought I might be trans and it was never something I had even considered. I always thought of myself as a a man up until then (figured I'd know if I was trans), even though I definitely wasn't the most masculine out there (I mostly stick to myself). Thinking about my gender explicitly like that has no only made things worse in some regards and I don't know what to do I'm just scared.
I've thought about it and the idea of being a girl and being called she/her seems really nice and brings up a warm feeling in me but like I'm also fine being a guy socially and I don't know if I'm ready or willing for people to treat me differently. I feel if gender roles weren't a thing and I could just *poof* myself into being a woman but every other single interaction I had was the same I'd take the deal, but that's not the world we live in and most of my friends are guys. Sometimes I get really anxious just thinking about it and I just want to go back to living as a "normal guy" but eventually the longing just comes back.
I don't know what's happening to me. These thoughts are messing with my head. I feel anxious and depressed all the time now and it's ruining my life and I kinda want these thoughts to go away.

I remember reading a historical isekai romance a while ago and was hoping this sounded familiar to anyone:
The FL gets saved from her abusive father by the ML and he takes her to his town. The ML has darker features and hair, and the people he takes care of in his territories are the disabled/discriminated against.
The FL had a stable handle friend back at home who comes to her new territory and comes out as gay to the FL.
I remember it being set in a sort of medieval Europe kind of setting and I don't know if there were any magical elements.
If anyone has a name or any ideas I'd be super grateful if you could let me know!
Thank you!

Galatians   Chapter Five (https://esv.literalword.com/?q=Galatians+5)
 
-1. The Anointed frees [שחרר, SheeHRayR] us unto freedom [חרות, HayROoTh], therefore stand, and do not submit [תכנעו, TheeKhahN`Oo] again [שוב, ShOoB] to yoke [לעל, Le'oL] the slavery.  

“The expression for freedom [επ ελευθερια - ep eleutheria] (in slightly different Greek form) appears in the certificates of sacral manumission which were given to slaves who purchased their freedom. The slave would deposit the money in the temple of his god for the priest to transfer to his master “for freedom.” He then became the slave of his god, free from his human master.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 545-546)  
“Among the Jews, the Messiah’s reign was to be a reign of liberty, and hence the Targum [ancient Jewish commentary] on Lamen. [Lamentations] ii. 22. says, “Liberty shall be publicly proclaimed to the people of the house of Israel, על יד משיחא âl yad Mashicha, by the hand of the Messiah, such as was granted to them by Moses and Aaron, at the time of the Passover.” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 393)  

...
-5. And we, in spirit upon foundation [of] belief, waiting [מיחלים, MeYahHahLeeYM] to hope [for] fruit, the our righteousness [δικαιοσυνης - dikaiosunes, justification, righteousness].  

“The language is so compact that Paul’s meaning has to be inferred from 3:14; 5:22-23; and Rom. [Romans] 8:23-26.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 548-549)  
“The full measure of human righteousness is still a thing of the eschatological future (cf. [compare with] Rom 5:19).” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 789)
“That they could not have the Holy Spirit, without faith, was a doctrine also of the Jews; hence it is said, Mechilta, fol. [folio] 52. ‘That faith was of great consequence, with which the Israelites believed in Him, who, with one word, created the universe; and because the Israelites believed in God, the Holy Spirit dwelt in them; so that being filled with God, they sung praises to him.’” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II pp. 393-394)  

-6. That yes, in Anointed YayShOo'ah ["Savior", Jesus] there is no thought [חשיבות, HahSheeYBOoTh], not to circumcision [למילה, LahMeeYLaH] and not to foreskin [לערלה, Lah`ahRLaH], rather to belief, the laborer in way [of] love.  

“No passage in Paul’s letters is of greater importance for integral understanding of his religion and the relation of his faith to his ethics. The mutuality of faith, hope, and love – a theme repeated with many variations – runs through everything he has written and forms the substance of his theology. … Paul’s religion is distorted whenever his ethics and his ‘good works’ are made to appear as an incidental by-product of his faith rather than as one of its essential ingredients.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 550-551)  
“This humble, holy, operative, obedient LOVE, is the grand touchstone of all human creeds, and confessions of faith. Faith, without this, has neither soul nor operation: in the language of the apostle James, it is dead, and can perform no function of the spiritual life, no more than a dead man can perform the duties of animal or civil life.” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 394)  

...
-12. Would that [מי יתן, MeeY YeeThayN] and be cut [ויכרתו, VeYeeKahRThOo] the misleaders [המתעים, HahMahTh`eeYM] [of] you!  

“‘I wish that those who are upsetting you would even emasculate themselves!’ This is what Paul said and meant. … for a similar outburst see Phil. [Philippians] 3:2-3, where the advocates of circumcision are ‘dogs,’ and by a play on words – περιτομη [peritome’], κατατομην [katatmen] - ‘circumcision’ becomes ‘mutilation.’ Paul may have been thinking of the mad spectacle of the Cybele-Attis cult, whose priests in frenzied devotion used to emasculate themselves as a sacrifice to their deity. … The shock of Paul’s statement to the Judaizers can be measured in the light of the prohibition in Deut. [Deuteronomy] 23:1. To a devout Jew his blunt language would be as sacrilegious as a Christian would find the wish of a disbeliever in sacraments that all advocates of baptism would drown themselves. Never happy after making such denunciations (II Cor. [Corinthians]1:23-2:11; Phil. 3:18-19), Paul quickly changes his tone…” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 554-555)  

-13. My brethren, to freedom you have been called,
only that not be, the freedom, means [אמצעי, ’ehMTsah`eeY] in hands of the flesh,
rather that minister, [each] man [את, ’ehTh (indicator of direct object; no English equivalent)] his neighbor in love.  

“To be freed from the ceremonial law, is the Gospel liberty; to pretend freedom from the moral law, is antinomianism.” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 395)  

-14. See, all the Instruction included [כלולה, KLOoLaH] in saying [במאמר, BeMah’ahMahR] one – “and love to your neighbor like you.”  

“The quotation is from Lev. [Leviticus] 19:18; cf. Rom. 13:8-10 [and Matt. [Matthew] 7:11 (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 789)]. The tense of the verb ‘fulfilled’ is perfect; thus Paul says that the whole law is fulfilled, in the sense of ‘has been fulfilled’ whenever one man loves another as himself…. Paul the Christian loved his neighbor not because a commandment disobeyed would bring punishment, or fulfilled would merit reward, but because it was his new nature to do to.  
But who was Paul’s neighbor? He was, first of all, ‘the one who was near,’ the fellow member of the society of Christ who needed help to bear life’s burdens (6:2). Then, with continuously lengthening radius, Paul drew a series of concentric circles to embrace all men (6:10; I Thess. [Thessalonians] 5:15; I Cor. 9:22). Even his enemies were included, for Christ received sinners, and personal vengeance was no fruit of the Spirit (6:1; Rom. 12:20; 15:1-3). … He bore the burden of his neighbor’s sins, and although he sometimes had to threaten them, he was never without hope for their repentance (I Cor. 4; II Cor. 12:19-13:10; II Thess. 3:14-15). He could hurl anathemas, and his friends did not always find him easy to get on with … but the love of Christ would never permit him to contract the circle of his neighbors (Rom. 9:1-3; 10:1; II Cor. 7:5-16; 1:23-2:11). (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 557)  

...  

…………………………………………  
Fruit of the Spirit and usurpations of [ומעללי, OoMah`ahLahLaY] the flesh
[verses 16 to end of chapter]  

-16. Say I to you, walk in way the spirit and do not fill [את, ’ehTh] desires [תאוות, Thah`ahVOTh] [of] the flesh,
-17. for the flesh desires [מתאוה, MeeTh’ahVeH] to what that is in opposition [שבנגוד, ShehBeNeeGOoD] to spirit, and the spirit is opposed [מתנגדת, MeeThNeGehDehTh] to the flesh. [The] two [of] them oppose to this to this, and to that [ולכן, OoLeKhayN] you are not able to do [את, ’ehTh] what that is in your want.  

“This is Paul’s way of stating the Jewish doctrine of the ‘two impulses’ which are at war within the heart of man. The rabbis declared that God created Adam with two inclinations, one good, the other evil, and required him to choose which to obey. He was free to follow his good impulse, but he chose the evil, and so did all his descendants. Consequently every man became the Adam of his own soul. Some maintained that the evil impulse awakened at the age of nine, others at twelve. Study with practice of the Torah was the sovereign remedy to wear it away …” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 561)  

…
-19. Deeds of the flesh are revealed [גלויים, GLOoYeeYM], and these are they:
adultery [נאוף, Nee’OoPh] and fornication, impurity [טמאה, TooM’aH], licentiousness [זמה, ZeeMaH], 20. slavery of idols, magic [כשוף KeeShOoPh in my Hebrew New Testamentⁱ ; the Greek here is “φαρμακεια pharmakeia - the use of drugs of any kind, whether wholesome or poisonous...” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 562] hatred, contention [מדון, MahDON], stinginess [צרות עין, TsahROoTh 'ahYeeN, “squint eyed”, Ζηλος Zelos jealousy], anger [כעס, Kah'ahÇ], strife [מריבה, MeReeYBaH], divisions [מחלקות, MahHLahQOTh], factions [כתות, KeeThOTh], 21. envy, drunkenness, profligacy [הוללות,HOLeLOoTh], and as similar.  
Say I to what that I already said: doers of deeds like these will not inherit [את, ’ehTh] kingdom of the Gods.  

“Πορνεια [Porneia] ... fornication ... means ‘prostitution’, but includes sexual vice and unfaithfulness to the marriage vow. The task of the church in creating a conscience on this matter was made doubly difficult by the practice of prostitution in the name of religion. Long before Paul, the prophets had denounced the fertility cults and made prostitution a synonym for idolatry.  
Φαρμακεια [pharmakeia] ... Since witches and sorcerers used drugs, the word came to designate witchcraft, enchantment, sorcery, and magic. The law of Moses prescribed the death penalty for it, and the prophets denounced the Egyptians, Babylonians and Canaanites for practicing it; but this did not prevent the Jews from producing some famous practitioners (Acts 13:6-12; 19:1-20). Next to state-worship, magic was the most dangerous competitor of true religion... claiming to specialize in the impossible, it prostituted faith to superstition, and divorced religion from ethics. ... In Paul’s spiritual arithmetic, faith plus miracles minus love amounted exactly to zero....  
Ερις [Eris] is ... strife ... The spirit of Eris is perfectly described in the words of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland – ‘ambition, distraction, uglification, and derision.’  
The fact that he expected the near return of Christ to end this present age must not be permitted to obscure the equally important fact that he regarded his own life and witness for Christ as an essential element in hastening that event.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 561-565)  

-22. In opposition to [לעמת, Le`ooMahTh] this, fruit of spirit:
he is love, happiness, peace, patience, [ארך רוח, ’oRehKh Roo-ahH, “length [of] spirit”] generosity, good heart, faithfulness, 23. modesty [עננה, `ahNahNaH], restraint [רסון, ReeÇOoN] [of] self– upon such [מדות, MeeDOTh] as these there is no instruction further [חלה, HahLaH, sic ["so in cite"] for חלאה, HahL’aH!].  

“Since love is a personal relation it is not a matter of law, and cannot be commanded; and since it is God’s own love growing as his ‘fruit’ in the hearts of men, no one can claim it as a merit for self-salvation. ...  
... in every age ... men have found it hard to see how God could have anything in common with humanity, and Christians have been tempted to make a distinction in kind between God’s love and man’s love. Paul’s authority has been claimed for this dualistic view. Αγαπη [agape’] is set against ερος [eros]. God’s love is said to be αγαπη reaching down to save man by his grace, and ερος man’s self-love aspiring upward to save himself. Paul’s αγαπη is associated with justification by faith, the Greek ερος with salvation by works.... Jerusalem and the Christian faith are made to oppose Athens and human reason, and the conclusion is drawn from the history of Christianity that ερος, man’s self love, has always been a source of corruption of αγαπη, love inspired by God’s grace.  
This interpretation of Christian love is intended as a defense of the doctrine of justification by faith and as a means of securing scriptural support for a dualistic philosophy which aims to protect the transcendence of God against humanism. But to draw such sweeping conclusions from a word study of two Greek nouns, without adequate consideration of other related Greek words and ideas, is to oversimplify. The LXX [The Septuagint, the ancient Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible] is full of evidence that this distinction between αγαπη and ερος cannot be maintained on the basis of lexicography. The Greek O.T. [Old Testament] uses both the noun αγαπη and the verb αγαπαω [agapao] to express not only God’s love for men, but man’s love for God and for his fellow man. Although there is no certain evidence that the noun αγαπη was used by nonbiblical writers prior to Christianity, the argument from silence may be invalidated by future discoveries, and it would be precarious to conclude that αγαπη was a specifically Christian word.  
One-sided emphasis on God’s love as ‘unmotivated’ by anything in his creatures tempts men to regard him in the light of an egotistical philanthropist who expects gratitude and praise but neither needs nor desires the mutuality that is inherent in the very nature of love... Without a faith that dares humbly to believe that God needs man’s love ... the Christian’s conception of his high calling to be a kingdom builder is liable to reduce itself to blind obedience to commands given arbitrarily for man’s good while awaiting God’s eschatological fiat. Such a misconception is bound to give aid and comfort to the inclination of human nature – ‘the flesh’ – to divorce religion from ethics.  
Grave moral consequences result from such a view of Christian love. It is associated with a doctrine of predestination that makes God’s choice of the objects of his salvation utterly arbitrary.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 565-566)  
“The peace which was the fruit of the Spirit ... could be trusted to keep men's hearts and minds (Phil. 4:7), so that they need have not anxiety about anything. This explains the sublime recklessness of the Christian peacemakers. Being colaborers with God (Rom. 8:28), they were aggressors for peace. They aimed to live at peace with all men (Rom. 12:18), but fear of making enemies did not turn them from their task of producing soundness, wholeness, and harmony in a world of chaos. Their reasonable service was to ... substitute the righteousness and peace and joy of his [God's] kingdom (Rom. 14:17) for the low aims of 'the flesh,' thereby creating the conditions for peace. Their ideal was to live so that quarrels could never get started.  
Christian peace was therefore neither the calm of inactivity nor the mere passive enjoyment of freedom from strife. It was not the imperturbability of the Epicurean, or the apathy of the Stoic, or the contemplation of the mystic. The man who possessed it was not exempt from storm and shipwreck, but by faith he knew that he would arrive in port (Acts 27:21-25), and that all was well for him and his fellow men of faith ... And so, where all else was panic, he played the man.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 567)  
“... just as God’s patience was not to be presumed upon, so the Christian’s patience was not a spiritless good nature that would put up with things which it could not escape, or would not prevent. It was patience with a purpose, as in Paul’s pleas to Philemon, which contrasts so sharply with the Stoic motive for self control... Those who bore this fruit ‘turned the world upside down’ (Acts 17:6), and the enemy did not know how to deal with such unheard of patience and persistence.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 568)  
“Negatively defined, gentleness is everything that the ‘insolent, haughty, boastful’ men of Rom. 1:30 are not. It is the opposite of υβρις [hubris], the worst of sins in the eyes of the Greeks – deliberate, arrogant defiance of the gods by overstepping the limits set for human beings. In the O.T. such men are called ‘sons of Belial,’ the turbulent, highhanded wicked, who rage against God, kill, rob and enslave the righteous ‘meek’ and take possession of the earth for themselves. The psalms are full of moans and complaints against this rich and powerful majority, who used religion as a means of gain and kept their consciences in flexible subservience to the exigencies of power.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 569)  
“’Εγκρατεια [Egkrateia] is temperance (KJV [King James Version]), self-control (RSV [Revised Standard Version]) ....  
The Stoics had helped to prepare the soil out of which this fruit of the Spirit was to grow. They insisted that the sovereign reason could and should control the passions. They believed in a law of nature to which they must conform, and they endeavored to maintain their inner freedom under all circumstances. But their motive was very different from Paul’s, the one being devoted to the glory of the God of grace, the other to the preservation of the sovereign self-will. When the Stoic collided with things beyond his control, his inner independence turned into apathy, practicing the motto ‘When we can’t do what we want, we want to do what we can.’ He took orders from his commander in chief, an impersonal God who had the power of life or death; but he did it in such a way as to make it clear to God and men that he, the Stoic, was after all the captain of his soul. He controlled his anger because he found it a nuisance to be under the power of any passion and in his sight meekness was contemptible weakness...  
Paul exalted humility: ‘It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me’ (2:20). ... His self-discipline was the result of his spiritual experiences, rather than an undertaking to induce them; and his self-control was sane compared with the ascetic excesses of later Christian groups such as the ‘Encratites,’ who forbade marriage and followed fantastic dietary rules.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 569-570)  
“Unrepentant sinners have no appetite for the fruit of the Spirit, and when its production and distribution require changes in the political and economic status quo, men ... pass laws against it ... Especially in time of war these traits of Christian character have been forbidden fruit, though given for the healing of the nations. Occasionally the world, exhausted with fighting, and sick of its cynical Epicureanism, has professed a desire for the fruits of the Spirit, but on its own terms without the cross required to produce them.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB X p. 570)  

... 26. Do not, please [נא, Nah’] be panters of [שואפי, ShO’ahPhaY] honor vain [שוא, ShahVe’], the provokers [המתגרים, HahMeeThGahReeYM] and enviers [ומקנאים, OoMQahN’eeYM] a man in his neighbor.  

“The right stood in terror of the iconoclasm of the left, and the radicals labeled all other men reactionaries ... Both sides professed to love liberty and defend it, but neither was willing to grant it to the other.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 572)   END NOTE  
ⁱ ספר הבריתות, תורה נביאים כתובים והברית החדשה [ÇehPheR HahBReeYThOTh, ThORaH, NeBeeY’eeYM, KeThOoBeeYM, VeHahBReeYTh HehHahDahShaH, The Book of the Covenants: Instruction, Prophets, Writings; and The New Covenant] The Bible Society in Israel, Jerusalem, Israel, 1991.  

  An Amateur's Journey Through the Bible

Like what was their job description, their average day-to-day duties?
I don’t know what a modern President or prime minister does each and every moment. But I generally understand how these offices fit into their governments and what they are meant to be doing there.
My knowledge of feudal Europe is of course weaker, but I have a basic idea of how the feudal system was supposed to work, and how they handled domestic and international problems.
But the ancient world is a complete black box to me. I’ve talked about it with some (non-historian) friends, and people think they participated in religious rituals and waged wars. However, people based these views mostly on pop-culture depictions, and I don’t really trust that to be accurate. Those two tasks alone don’t seem to be enough to fill up a day’s schedule, though, and it seems like it would take more to keep a country functioning.
Moreover, on war specifically, were ancient states really engaged in a perpetual state of war, so that all their attention was spent on that? If not, what were kings doing during peace time?
Maybe it really is as simple as war and religion, but I don’t know.