Poway unified elementary schools

i’ve heard that college algebra with hardesty is good, haven’t had any disputes yet
heard finite math was easy but then someone who took it got a D and i can’t ruin my gpa like that😭 pls pls help i haven’t been terrible at math since elementary school it’s just not my thing man

hi there! i’m a college freshman who has recently discovered that being an elementary school teacher encompasses literally all of my favorite things. i love planning to excess, i love making a space that is cozy, comfortable, and functional. i love helping people and teaching people things. i love kiddos! i work at a library at my college right now, and every time i get to decorate a whiteboard or put up a sign or explain our catalogue to a patron, i feel good about myself and like i’m doing something worthwhile. i’m currently a linguistics major (i had zero career plans for this major, i just love languages and needed to declare something) and i don’t intend on making any sudden decisions in joining my colleges elementary education program without proper consideration. i had this realization a month or so ago and have spent the time since then researching and reading about the profession online. obviously in doing that research i have come across so many teachers who are deeply unhappy and discouraging young people from going into the profession. i also know that teachers don’t get paid what they deserve in most parts of the us.
in my head, i would love being a teacher to second or third graders and i would love for it to work out, but i know that i can’t fully understand why teachers are so unhappy without having experienced teaching. i was wondering if maybe some actual elementary school teachers (you guys) would be willing to offer some advice or insight.

My family is low income and I’m the first person in my family to go to college. It took me 4 years of work on my undergraduate degree, and then 6.5 years of graduate school but I finally defended yesterday!
I’ve wanted a doctorate since I was in elementary school and it’s still so crazy to me that I’ve finally earned it! And that it gets to be in History makes me even happier.
As much as I’d like to say all I had to do was put my mind to it, but I had a lot of support from family, friends, and educational programs and I never would have made it this far without them!

Please post in the comments shots of your Buddhist Temple designs. Can't wait to see your creations!
(No user names please or the comment will be removed please use the pinned post https://www.reddit.com/tappedout/comments/128e5fe/official_add_me_thread_april_2023/)
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Residential Areas

Hey all! I’m trying to piece my life together as many of us probably are. My issue is that I do not remember most of my childhood. I remember weird little quirks here and there like the time at 5 I ran into a door, got a huge cut on my face and didn’t cry😂 or how they all teased me for consistently putting too much food in my mouth at once and chewing with my front teeth but like I don’t know when I started walking or talking. I didn’t go to school until I was 5 going into kindergarten. My “best friend” was my mom’s best friends daughter. I don’t know if I played pretend well but I do remember always wanting to be the baby or the dog (it was so much easier than being a big sister or a mom or a dad lol). I don’t know if I made eye contact or what other behaviors I may have shown. I also only have one report card from elementary school from 1st grade which offered very little (side note if anyone has any insight on getting elementary school records from 20 years ago please feel free to share bc I’d love mine if possible)
That said obviously I need to ask my mom about it bc she was always around. I don’t want to bombard her with individual questions. Does anyone know of a good but quick questionnaire I could send her? I also have 4 brothers and I was the “good kid” so I do not have high hopes of her accurately reporting every little thing I may have done but I can’t remember much before middle school so I need some insight to the things I can’t recall at all. Even my middle and high school memory is shot 😭

Here we go again, this time a principal from an elementary school in the north part of Waterloo has been charged. The principal is from Kitchener.
Paywall (most likely)
https://www.therecord.com/news/crime/2023/03/31/police-arrest-man-planning-to-meet-up-with-teenaged-girl.html
Here is a summary of the charges he faces:

• Five counts of luring a person under 16 years of age by means of telecommunications
• Two counts of invitation to sexual touching under 16 years of age
• Sexual assault
• Sexual interference with person under 16 years of age
• Luring a person under 16 years of age by means of telecommunication
• Three counts of transmit sexually explicit material to a person under 16 years of age
• Luring a person under 18 years of age by means of telecommunication
• Print/publish/possess to publish child pornography
• Import/sell/distribute, etc. child pornography
• Unlawfully possess child pornography

This info comes from The Record via WRPS

Basically in elementary school i have best performance bur when I start middle I have the worst lol

probably going to get doxxed but i don't really care lol
Demographics

• Gender: male
• Race/Ethnicity: asian-american
• Residence: deep south
• Income Bracket: ~200k
• Type of School: large public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): sibling legacy at yale & harvard (? not sure if this actually matters)

Intended Major(s): biomedical engineering / bioengineering everywhere
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0/4.5
• Rank (or percentile): 5/700
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 17 AP/IB classes total (IBDP Candidate)
• Senior Year Course Load: 6 IB (4 HL) / 1 AP

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: did not take
• ACT: 36 (3636M/35E/36S)
• AP/IB: 5 - Calc AB, Stat, Euro, Physics I, Calc BC, Chem, APUSH; 4 - CSP

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. C-suite level of a student organization with 200,000+ members - (keeping this vague) something I've invested an insane amount of time into during all of high school; work with well-known nonprofits and lead membership development
2. Research Internship in Bioinformatics - mentored by local school prof on independent research contributing to lab; presented at ISEF & a conference; working on publication
3. Science Olympiad Captain - 3x Nationals Qualifier and coach for several events, place extremely well every year
4. Research Internship Program in Animal Genetics - summer program at state school, first authored poster and presented at undergrad-level symposium
5. Biology Club President - 2 years of being president; tripled membership, managed competitions and STEM service projects
6. Engineering Club Leadership Committee - directed STEM outreach in elementary schools for 4 years
7. Varsity & Club Swimming - District and State competitor, did well in competitions over 8 years
8. Piano - 10 years of independent study, have won both state & local competitions
9. Boys State - selected by school; elected for several positions/wrote a few passed bills
10. Class Rep - elected by students & led yearly events

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. ISEF 4th Grand Award
2. Conference Presenter & Poster Competition Finalist
3. Science Olympiad State/National Awards
4. App Development Contest Top 3
5. Distinguished State Officer for EC #1

Letters of Recommendation

1. English Teacher (10/10): super close with him. we talk weekly about both academic and non-academic things; he was close to my sibling as well and knows my family. he's known for writing fantastic recs and explicitly stated that mine was the best this year. he read a part to me - very personal. so thankful for this one
   
2. Calc Teacher (6-7/10): taught me two years & kept in touch this year. was a strong student and participated, but didn't really stand out. probably generic
   
3. Engineering Teacher (9/10): she's known me for 7 years; was my mentor & coach for basically every science activity. very close to her and she wrote about pretty unique things, but she was only my teacher pre-high school so used as an additional rec when possible.
   
4. Research Mentor (8/10): we were fairly close; she knew a lot about my non-research activities and expressed that I was a very strong intern. used this anywhere that accepted additional recs.
   

Interviews
Had one for MIT, Stanford, Duke, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, WashU, Rice
They were all 7-8/10; none really stood out to me other than my MIT interview, which was almost 3 hours long and also my first interview lol... everything else I think I connected solidly with each but nothing exceptional
Essays
- common app (7.5/10) was about my job as a bobarista and how making drinks changed my mindset towards breaking out of my comfort zone... lowkey kind of stupid but the writing was ok
- spent 2 months on MIT supps but they ended up over-edited and not genuine. they were my first supps written so not the best
- basically every non-ivy was a copy pasted essay that was slightly edited (6-7/10)
- yale, duke, harvard i spent a good amount of time on; very school-specific and personal (8/10)
- i think my stanford supps were the realest things i've ever written so was a bit disappointed about being waitlisted (10/10 lol)
​
overall i could've spent a much longer amount of time on my essays, but since i was shotgunning i didn't have as much time to use. i really recommend saving your top schools for the end, since you'll have much better ideas and experience with writing/drafting and your essays will be more genuine. if you'd like to see specific essays or want more advice feel free to dm.
i'm also not the best personal writer :(
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• UMich EA
• Georgia Tech EA (OOS)
• Northeastern EA (Honors)
• UNC EA (OOS; Honors & Accelerated Research)
• UIUC EA
• Safety 1
• Safety 2
• Boston University RD
• Rice RD
• Vanderbilt RD (MOSAIC, Chancellor's)
• Columbia RD (Likely, Davis Scholars)
• Yale RD

Waitlists:

• MIT EA (deferred)
• Stanford RD
• WashU RD
• UPenn RD
• Cornell RD
• Princeton RD
• Duke RD

Rejections:

• Harvard RD
• Johns Hopkins RD
• Northwestern RD
• Berkeley RD

Scholarships:

• National Merit Scholar
• Coca-Cola Regional Finalist
• UNC Robertson Alternate
• Morehead-Cain Finalist

Additional Information:
Overall very happy with my results and I'm planning on committing to Yale! But with all my waitlists and scholarship finalists, I feel like if I did just a bit more I could've broken into that highest bracket. Nonetheless, super excited - will be hoping to get off of Stanford's waitlist - and I'd love to answer any questions/provide any advice! (Speaking of advice, I've always wanted to mentor some people through the college process for free but am I even qualified to do that lol... lmk)

Hi! I am currently doing my states alternate route program to become a certified art teacher. I’m also an assistant teacher at an elementary school. There’s an opening for a middle school art teacher close by and I’d like to apply, but I’m super nervous and feel like there’s so much I don’t know about teaching in general. What kind of questions are often asked in art teacher interviews? Is there anything extra I should bring? I plan to bring a few lesson plans, possibly some of my portfolio work. I haven’t had the chance to teach art lessons to the grade I’m working in, so I don’t have student samples currently.

I am a first year teacher at a charter school. I was hired very last minute this year, they planned to have a long term sub in my classroom because they could not find anyone to hire. I had subbed at this school on and off for two years, and asked about the position. It was quickly given to me.
My connection to this school starts with my sister. I started subbing there because she was one of the APs. She has since become the elementary principle. In the beginning of the school year I felt bad about this, like I was only there because we were related (and honestly that is partly true. I was hired so quickly because they knew me personally). But since then I have grown so much as an educator. I get staff shoutouts constantly for my classroom management (I think I just have an awesome group of kids), interacting with tough students with patience and empathy, collaborating with specials teachers, and being reflective of my classroom practices.
As a first year teacher, I feel pretty good. And when I start to feel unsure of myself, it seems that the people around me are always able to reassure me that I’m doing great.
I say all of this to say, I don’t think the other teachers like me. Admin, the exceptional ed team, and my second grade team are always friendly. But most other teachers are cold towards me. A recent interaction (that has me bothered with this), is a third grade teacher refusing to speak to me. She walks up and down the hallway all morning, telling teachers hello. I stand out in the hallway too and told her good morning because she was just staring at me. She looked me up and down and kept walking.
My contract was renewed and I’m coming back next year, but I need to figure out a way to fix this issue. I would hate to go another year with teachers being cold towards me. I am not sure if any of you have experience with this, and maybe I just care too much. I just figure if I am there all day, I would like for the other adults around me to not feel poorly about me.

Hello there! I'm u/Fried_Lion, today I won't terrorize you with my polls but instead talk about my story as a chindo and chindo stereotypes in general.
You know the basics, right? Rich, toko, businessmen, work ethics, stingy, private school (either religious or secular), either Buddhist or Christian (or muslim and other religions, they're small fractions), and the list goes on. Today, I will talk about my personal experience as a chindo male living in a major city. Most of this story will be about my maternal Chinese Hokkien family, as I hate my paternal family due to inheritance matters and personal animosity (and I think the feeling is mutual).
The first generation (my great-grandparents) came from Southern China in the early 1900s with almost nothing and settled in the rural areas at first then they moved to the city for more opportunities. The second generations (my grandparents) did not fared much better, they cannot get any education as they were forced to work and help their parents from an early age. The third generations (my mother and her siblings) were quite mixed, my grandparents had 9 childrens (actually 10 but 1 died in infancy) and the first 5 had to work as hard as their parents, my mother herself was the fifth child and she was lucky enough to be educated till the high school level, after her the four youngest who were all males were all able to be educated to high school and university levels.
After the fall of Big S, my younger uncles graduated from university and started working. My third uncle married his love, the daughter of his boss. That was the start of my family's glory. Soon after he got assigned to help his father in-law and after a few years founded his own companies. This started a chain of business and job creations, with my second uncle also marrying a rich woman. The second and third uncle helped the fourth and fifth get started in the business world and they all eventually became successful businessmen with companies in many sectors. (They were also partially helped by my eldest aunty immigrating to Taiwan and sending remittances to help her family)
I and my cousins (the fourth generation) were lucky to be born during a time of wealth and prosperity. We were all able to be educated to the bachelor's degree and beyond, some even got the chance to study abroad. The third generation put a lot of importance into the next generation's education, they were stingy in other parts but for education they didn't hesitate to spend money. I myself got educated all my life in a Christian private school (despite the fact in Buddhist), to get an idea of what the school look liked just see the MV of High School in Jekardah but more chindos and paler in color because the school is quite old.
One thing I remembered from my early education was that they got a Computer Lab in Kindergarten (I was like whyy?) and they are only used for playing educational childrens game (i think tablets would be cheaper and better for that purpose. Moving on, in the fourth or fifth grade I started selling ATK in the school and that brought me quite the money for an elementary schooler, so I guess the chindo working spirit and thirst for money 😉. I stopped temporarily in the sixth grade due to the unlucky experience of my father's death (this caused the problems with my paternal family). I continued this business in the following grades and gained reputation for being a sly businessmen and marketer amongst my peers. I also gained the title of "Richest student in the school" but I only think that's true if it only counted self-made wealth.
So, what do you think of my story and chindo stereotypes in general? (Bonus for fellow chindos: what is your own story with chindo stereotypes?)
Thank You
Fried Lion, out

I (36M) have been married with Jenny (34F) for a bit over 10 years, we have been dating since our second year of college. We are a good couple and, excluding when his brother is involved, we rarely argue.
Jenny has a brother, Mark (37M). Mark is/was, for lack of better words, an AH.
We were in the same classroom ( same year, he was born in January, I was born in November) from elementary school until the end of high school. He was a bully of the worst kind and, while I wasn't one of his victims, one of my dearest friends was so my hatred and disgust for Mark was quite deep.
I didn't know Jenny was his sister when we started dating ( the college was in another city and their surname is pretty common. What are the chances?) and I admit, when I actually found out she was his sister, I briefly thought about breaking up with her to not have to deal with him ( luckily, I didn't ).
Jenny loves her brother and, while she is the first who reprimands him when he does something wrong, she still cares about him and, apparently, he is at least a decent brother.
In the years we were together, I never hid my disdain toward Mark and Jenny has tried multiple times to make us get along. Her attempts were... useless, to say the least.
In spirit of reconciliation, I tried to give Mark a chance around the time me and Jenny got engaged and, as I suspected, he showed his true color pretty soon: he was still the same disrespectful AH I spent my childhood with.
I never intervened in Mark's and Jenny's relationship ( they are brother and sister, as long as he doesn't do something dangerous, I will keep my mouth shut) but I made myself clear on the fact I don't want to have any interaction with him. I will tolerate his presence during the festivities or when we go to her parents' house if he is there too but, except for those 2 occasions, I don't want him in my house.
For the most part, Jenny respected my decision... until 2 months ago.
Apparently, from what she and their parents told me, Mark has "turned over a new leaf" and is trying to make amends for having been an AH for 36 years. I don't know if it's the truth or if he is just putting up a facade but the point is that Jenny is trying to convince me to give him another chance.
While my heart tells me "Why bother? Don't do it.", in spirit of reconciliation I maybe should give him a chance. It's been over 10 years since the last time and maybe, MAYBE, he is indeed changed.
I need advices on what to do in case I decide to give him a chance and, if I don't, advices on how to deal with Jenny mostly.
Thank you in advance.
TLDR: Apparently my ex bully brother-in-law turned over a new leaf and my wife insists I give him a chance. What should I do?

I’m just wondering if anyone here has experienced a similar situation. I (27F) have overactive bladder and still wet the bed 4-5 times a week. Growing up my identical twin sister and I both struggled with bladder control. Elementary school accidents happened a handful of times for both of us, and we both wet the bed until we were 12. But then she started doing it less and less and grew out of all of it by the time she was 13… and I didn’t. I’m now 27 and I STILL wet the bed. I was also diagnosed with overactive bladder and get strong sudden urges to use the bathroom during the day, while my twin does not. We both exercise, we both eat healthy and we both have no other health problems. I’m just extremely frustrated and embarrassed thinking that someone with my same DNA figures out how to stop it and I can’t seem to. Not necessarily bedwetting, but has anyone else dealt with a twin who was able to accomplish you haven’t?

So I think I'm trans. But I'm still pre-everything and I'm seeking red flags, to see if I am really, or if I got something that makes me think I'm trans. I was recently diagnosed with autism but idk how it changes things, and I don't currently care, I'm not even completely convinced. I'm not able to remember the time accurately, so I might be wrong.
My earliest memory of wanting to be a girl go back to elementary. I'm not sure if that memory is real, but I remember searching how to become a girl on Google, trying a hypnosis audio, and ended up being found by my sister. I have another memory of that time, I think it was before that first memory, but it could have been after, where I watched H2O, a TV show about mermaid, that made me want to be one.
Then, later in elementary, I ended up searching "gender bending" anime. It was also, unfortunately, due to that search that I was introduced to hentai. When I didn't find any anime, I tried to search more, and found a "gender bending" hentai that I still remember.
I didn't always consumed "gender bending" fiction, I mostly played video games. During middle school, I think I began to feel depression. I remember once attempting, not seriously, suicide by water intoxication. I thought that I would either end up stop existing, reincarnate (was into isekai novel), or something else and looking at possible outcomes, it would be worth it. Botched it, apart from not being hungry the whole day, it didn't do anything. I also
The trend gradually inversed. Instead of playing video games and sometimes watch "gender bending" fiction, I mostly read "gender bending" fiction, then read non "gender bending" fiction, and played video games. I remember two times when I instead spend time on twitter. Once during the beginning of covid, and another before, for no real reason.
After a while, the trend changed again, mostly reading non "gender bending" fiction, and sometimes "gender bending". Almost never playing video games. I rationalised wanting to be a girl so much with "girl are better" and "girl/women are better aesthetically than boy/men". For wanting woman's genitals, I rationalised it as "the penis is completely useless, superfluid, apart from peeing while standing up, that I don't really care about it. As such, a vagina would be better. Period would be bad but there are options to stop it". If I managed to live until independence, I already wanted to get laser hair removal and be castrated (wanted orchiectomy but I thought it was illegal or something for some reason).
Then, at 15, I learned the existence of hrt. When I discovered it, I felt like it was exactly what I wanted, and that there were no way that I wouldn't do it in my life. Seeking more information, I didn't know how my parents would react and I knew my mom would want certainty, I sought more information and found the trans subreddit. I don't remember what content I saw exactly, but I think they weren't relatable. I don't know if I found the detrans sub, but I don't think I did.
It was the only time I remember feeling motivation to do something, to focus on the real world. I didn't manage to come out (I was also "afraid" of change in our almost non existent relationship), so I forgot about hrt. Still wanted to be a girl, just forgot it was possible. A year later, I hear from my mom about a clerk that is transitioning. It makes me remember hrt, and makes me go back to trans sub. This time, I find the detrans sub, the transmed sub, end up on politics sub and politics on twitter, and manage to come out. Honestly, I don't know how I would feel being seen as a girl and a lot of other things, but hrt I sure want it. I also regularly think about killing myself, not seriously. I won't though. I slso feel like life is too restrained, limited. Honestly, even if I saw red flags, I think I would still want hrt.

part 1: net worth
positive net worth

category	#shesworthsomething
💹 15,700	Roth IRA, not much but it’s honest work. I wasn’t able to contribute last year but sent $1400 this month. Don’t think I will max this year but will do what I can.
📱 1,400	457, not even sure why I contribute to this ($50/paycheck)
📈 25,100	Pension – cash value not super relevant here. 11% mandated contribution
💰 7,100	checking
🤑 3,000	HYSA @ 4.25%
➕ 52,300	we keep it positive around here

debt

category	oops, she’s in debt again
💷 -45,203	Private student loan @ 4.79%, paid biweekly but sending extra $
💸 -72,957	Undergrad Stafford + grad @ 5.2%. halfway done with PSLF!
➖ 118,160	😬 (but it looks worse on paper!)

casita

category	ah, but what about the house?
🏡 362,000	Purchase price, spring 2022, ginormous (income-restricted) condo
💸 -317,026.81	Mortgage #1 balance @ 2.75%
♊ -23,431.95	Mortgage #2 balance @ 0%, down-payment assistance paid in full at end of mortgage or resale
➕ 21,541.24	Equity including both mortgages, since not including #2 feels disingenuous

NET WORTH: -45,672.46
part 2: income
Nothing exciting here as a public school teacher. My salary is fixed and the entire internet can figure out exactly how much I make. Next year I will apply to be a new teacher mentor to move over a lane (6% raise while I do the job). We won a great raise in our last contract so we can finally be paid almost as much as everyone around us!
This is my 5th year teaching but am on step 6 of 11 due to a full year internship.
read my paycheck and weep
pay schedule: 24 paychecks a year (NOT 26), biweekly Fridays with the exception of holidays and the final day of school, where you receive paychecks 22, 23, 24 and are expected to make that last late June through early September
each paycheck is different, so let’s do paycheck #1

💹 2,935.83	gross
💊 -37.14	medicare (but not SS)
👩🏼‍⚕️ -325.65	PPO, I get sick often and in unexpected places
🦷 -42.97	dental
👓 -5.91	vision
📱 -50	457 contribution
🚕 -184.19	federal withholding
🚖 -114.32	state withholding
📈 -322.94	pension withholding
➕ 1,852.71	behold, how little of my take home I get to actually enjoy

Now paycheck #2

💹 2,935.83	gross
💊 -48.01	medicare (but not SS)
📱 -50	457 contribution
🚕 -323.86	federal withholding
🚖 -151.79	state withholding
📈 -322.94	pension withholding
💪🏼 -87	union power, baby
➕ 1,952.23	Also known at work as “the good paycheck”

For those keeping track at home, my monthly gross is typically 5,871.66 and my net is typically 3,804.94
Why typically?

• If we have 3 paychecks in a month: enjoy the big fat no medical or union deduction!
• …unless it’s April onwards, when they deduct health insurance from EVERY paycheck to cover your summer months (we call it double deduction season)
• in December we get a premium holiday (1/2 medical deduction)
• I also run an outdoors club at work, which I am paid $35/hr when I run the club and additional pay for certain trips (last month I was paid $375 alone for our annual weekend overnight before vacation). This can be wildly inconsistent but let’s just say I have an extra $100-150 to play with each month.

part 3: please enjoy my emoji'd YNAB categories

category 💲	PAY DEM BILLZ
🏡 1343.38	Putting the PIT in mortgage…or something like that. The other I is paid separately
⛲ 167	HOA
🔐 68.16	Was not required to have insurance at closing. Don’t be stupid like me.
🎓 0	fed loans, thanks Grandpa Joe. I think this will be about $250/m when it starts up again. PSLF date late 2028
⛽ 31	YNAB tells me this is my average since moving to my house. Grateful to have big windows and a “put a sweater on” childhood upbringing – touched the heat twice this year
🔌 50	Averaged to include spicy hot summer months (it was 34 this month)
💻 39.95	interwebs
🏫 412.92	Private loan, paid biweekly (so if it’s a rare 3 payment month it’s more). The minimum monthly payment is something like $316, but I’m sending an extra $50 to get some benefit from the power of compound interest. 4.79% is not a make or break rate. Payoff 2034 but hope this can happen sooner.
📰 12.50	NYT Academic rate
🚊 90	Monthly pass
🍿 15.99	Somebody needs to pay the HBO Max
➖ 2234.43	Assigned this month

⭐

category 💲	important semi-regular expenses
🎁 20	Averaged gifts and donations, we have a special scholarship at work
👗 0	I haven’t bought new clothes in a while and it’s starting to show.
🤸🏼‍♀️ 85	trampoline class
👩🏼‍⚕️ 60	YNAB tells me my average is 60/mo, but this is overinflated due to an MRI in November that I will only have to do (hopefully) one more time. I’m usually at the urgent care or a specialist doctor 1x/month (this month: a UTI), so it’s more like 30
🪑 40	Hard to quantify. Since I moved in, I had a free couch moved ($200), bought a very nice TV ($750), a vacuum ($250), filters for vacuum ($30), and the world’s nicest washer ($1900). So YNAB is telling me a horrifying $400/mo, but let’s call it 40 going forward
🌷 0	I was a good urban balcony gardener, but no balcony. Waiting for a community garden spot, hopefully next year
🍉 250	Includes booze and small household things (TP, paper towels, dish soap)
🥾 30	Am avid hiker and rollerblader. Averaged cost of trip incidentals like carpool or snacks, admission to roller rink
💊 55	3 lifesaving medicines (25/mo + 10/mo + 30 as needed) + 10 for whatever medicine needed for illness of the month (10 for antibiotics this month). Every year I get a new epi-pen for 10 or 30. This month was more like 85 because my pharmacy accidentally sent me a med I have plenty of.
➖ 500	rough guesstimate

⭐

monthly 💲	annual 💲	annual expenses (save early, save often)
🤑 3.95	🕛47.33	Splitting YNAB with a friend on the new family plan
💇🏼‍♀️ 22.50	🕛 270	2x curly haircuts a year (cut + tip)
🩰 127.78	🕛 1150	Pair of opening weekend orchestra tickets + donor perks + volunteer dues
🌴 55	🕛 650	My part of family vacation with parents
🕶 33.33	🕛 400	Annual eye visit (exam + contact fitting + 12 months contacts)
📦 11.59	🕛 139	prime shipping, no car in a store desert + my mom likes videos
🎄 50	🕛 600	I love Christmas
💸 ?	🕛 6500	Roth IRA, we’re getting aspirational. I sent $1400 this month because it was a 3 paycheck month. Going to try to max and see how far I get.
🦷 86.35	🕛 2250	Saving ½ of estimated costs for Invisalign – never had braces as a kid and now my teeth are pretty bad. Hoping to start May 2024. There is unfortunately no savings for paying everything upfront so I’m saving ½ now and expecting a monthly payment around 150/mo during the treatment.
➖390.50	🕛 4,686	Ignoring the Roth IRA

⭐

category 💲	very big savings
🌆 428.57	3k goal by August 2023 (current balance: 850), “No August pay” – we don’t get paid in August and the first week of September so setting aside money specifically for this without feeling guilty for draining my emergency fund
🕐 300	(181.82 since I’m ahead) Homeowner’s 1% Warchest, it’s exactly what it sounds like. For any and all home expenses (things breaking or projects). Current balance: 2k
🛑 140.91	Building back EF, goal is 3k by December 2023 (current balance: 1.7k). I know this is low but my job is hilariously stable. I will try to add another month in 2024.

⭐

category 💲	fun money!
💻 50	Laptop replacement, just chucking money in there. I’d like to buy a Lenovo IdeaPad Duet 5i since I love the 2 in 1 form factor. Currently have 100/600
🚝 70 (paused)	Travel fund contribution, but full at 350. BFF getting married in VT in August so hoping to turn it into a girl’s weekend with another BFF
🎮 65 (paused)	General video game fund – keep it topped up at 65 in case a new game drops OR if multiple games go on sale. I try to only buy games on deep sale
🎮 12.99	Final Fantasy XIV sub, I’ll retire someday
👯‍♀️ 50	Anything with friends, including eating out with them. usually 100 in the summer
🍦 30	“eating out” aka solo treats for myself (breakfast at dunks, small treats)
🎊 10	events happening that we want to go to not already covered, averaged.
➖ 202.99	Not including travel and video games since that’s topped up

If you add up the categories, I’m in the red and I’m well aware of it – not for much longer though, as I’m saving really aggressively. 😊
part 4: el diario
Day 1 – Saturday

🌅 gotta get dad to the ballet! 4.80
👯‍♀️ brunch with daddy-o before the ballet, I provide the tickets but he pays for brunch. his wallet is hurting because he only just got paid at his new job, so I kick in 20
👀 because brunch is attached to a swanky hotel and it’s PAX east wknd. 0 for free entertainment
🥤 my father requests a water bottle before the show. 6
🩰 don q, my 3rd time and dad’s 1st. Very good, but very long. 0 because these are volunteer comps
🚊 & 👋🏼
🧼 the casita before the week starts

total: 30.80
Day 2 – Sunday

💤 lazy Sunday morning (dw, I’m still up at 6). Read the NYT cover to cover then play 🎮
🚊 meeting a friend of a friend to help her do taxes but I’m early
📖 it’s gorgeous out so I photosynthesize in the BPL courtyard with my book club book
⛔ the wifi is too slow for us to do taxes so we pack up and 🚶🏼‍♀️ down newbury st until we settle at trident
👯‍♀️ I supervise her taxes, and eat a late lunch (grilled cheese w/ avo and tomato). 22.15
🍉 make the mistake of dragging this poor girl with me to the postage stamp sized TJ’s. and it’s 5:15. one does not shop here so much as get in line at the beginning & pick what you want as you go. a tall person fetches me frozen arepas. I come in right on budget so I’m pleased. 57.52
👋🏼 & 🚊 home to plan my week and decompress with 🎮 and 📖

Total: 79.67
Day 3 – Monday

🌅 it’s just before 6 and birds are happy, but now I am taking the 🚍 to work
🌉 stuck on the bus with my BOSS because a 🚢 is passing through the drawbridge. at least we can now fill out 90 second walk from the bus to dunks with acceptable new england small talk subjects (weather, transit, and sports) before she dips to get coffee
😡 the youth, because tomorrow & wednesday are standardized testing. sorry kids, I don’t make the schedule!
🙏🏼 “my plan is to read the questions carefully and ask God to help me know” – A+ testing strategy
✌🏼 2:30 and on my way home
🤸🏼‍♀️ take the 🚊 to go to bounce (0, see monthly expenses) and catch up with bounce buddy M.
🚶🏼‍♀️ walk with M. to the 🚊, go home for 🍜, 🚿, 📖, 🎮

Total: 0
Day 4 – Tuesday

🌅 hello, happy birds as I walk to the 🚍
🔥 the computers are not charged for testing. teenagers have been divested of all electronics and are not allowed to talk to each other. mayhem approaching in 3 … 2 … 1 …
🤬 nonstatus (male) colleague uses a work group text thread to refer to an unknown female colleague as the b-word. mayhem continues
❓ 2 hour (!) meeting after work due to snow day cancellations. male colleague doubles down on his comment before storming out. brain is mush
🚍 I remember nothing
🔐 as I am politely informed by my e-mail 68.16
👩🏼‍🍳 white bean & tomato stew & watch abbott elementary because it’s cathartic
🗣📕 ballet book club on zoom! we just finished a book about martha graham so we talk about it (I’m hosting next time about james whiteside)

total: 68.16
Day 5 – Wednesday

🌅 please go away, very loud mourning dove
🍎 computers are charged, the youth are not. Mr. Insult has decided not to come to work today (probably for the best?)
🤬 is there something in the water?! another nonstatus teacher informs me that two of my students are talking to each other in the hallway and are not following her instructions which tbh is a day that ends in Y. important context: her instruction is in English and they only understand Spanish. I send them back to their testing rooms and she says, “when students ignore me and continue to speak in a language they know I don’t understand, they are being assholes” UM! GOODBYE!!!
😡 before I say something I regret I turn heel and inform my boss of this interaction. she takes a breath and thanks me for letting her know
😤 this is me taking a calming inhale / exhale before returning to staring at children
🏹 when I am proctoring (read: not allowed to read, grade, do work, browse the interweb), I like to imagine how the hunger games would go down if these kids were in it. the odds are in this room’s favor overall.
👩🏼‍🏫 these miserable youth are forced into a half day of classes, so we conference about grades and I let them have some free time
🏕 run weekly outdoors club for the youth. one student informs me a teacher refuses to sign a permission slip & doesn’t know why. make mental note to find this person and politely inquire. students make a great poster of images from our last trip and practice map skills
✌🏼 at 3:30 to get the 🚂 to then get on the 🚊 to go to 🤸🏼‍♀️ … it sounds awful but it all goes pleasantly smoothly, especially given how the T has been. class is great, lots of one-legged kicking on the trampoline. this is my 2nd week in a row of going from 2x class a week to 3x and it’s a tough adjustment. 0
🚶🏼‍♀️ to the 🚊 with M., who can’t make it to class on Friday – sad!
💊 the medicine I didn’t ask for but keeps coming has arrived. Note to self to call pharmacy and ask them to stop, but says 0 refills. Not a total waste because I KNOW I will get bronchitis again & need this. 10
🍿 paid for to keep my mother happy 15.99
🍴 eat leftover stew and 📞 my mother and best friend T. to debrief this very strange day
🎮 and 📖 before bed

Total: 25.99
Day 6 – Thursday

🌅 ahoy! Run into coworker D. on the 🚍 who gets coffee at dunks. I am feeling weak and acquire some 🥑🍞 3.69
🤝🏼 find this teacher who refuses to sign permission slip (who is also new). his reasons are very valid and we agree on conditions the student needs to fulfill to attend trip. hooray, adults being civil!
🤬 that’s it, something is in the water. two best friends in 3rd hour begin a heated verbal altercation about … a girl? in the middle of my class?? One kid takes off so I call security to let them know he would benefit from a check-in. the other student begins texting threats to his buddy and goes off on me when I tell him to stop. what is happening?!
👼🏼 boy returns with security at end of class, so I walk him to dean to process. 35 minutes later dean says everything is gucci and no more problems. hormones, man.
✌🏼 please get me out of here
💻 bill is paid 39.95
👵🏼 our weekly call (she is my only grandparent and is not doing well)
👨🏼 weekly call with father, who still likes his new job
🍜 leftover stew and Mandalorian with my 👩🏼 (we live text each other). finally, a good space battle!
🎮 and 📖 to decompress along with a long hot 🚿

total: 43.64
Day 7 – Friday

🌅 I don’t think I can do this today.
🧘🏼‍♀️ It has been such a frustrating week (there was another incident that happened that I can’t even reference due to state law/FERPA) that was incredibly traumatic and draining.
📱 to best friend T. and work friend R. to ask what they would do. Both endorse me taking a day off after this wild week.
🎮 and 📖 along with some stretching. 📞 with best friend E. to catch up on her wedding prep and life
🤑 payday! Good paycheck since it’s the 3rd of the month, but it might be missing hours from club. I won’t know until I see my paystub on Monday. +2,183.48 (+50 to 457, +322.94 to pension)
💸 ah, but it’s also the 31st. easy come, easy go 🏡 (1343.38) and ⛲ (167)
🚊 to 🤸🏼‍♀️ to a really 🔥 class. Learn the name of the girl next to me on Fridays who also brings her inhaler and it turns out we’re both teachers!
🍦 take a nice mozzarella sandwich home from tatte 13.97
🚊, 🍴, 🚿, 📖, 🎮

Total: 1,524.35
Grand totals:

• food & drank: 65.81
• entertainment: 15.99
• home & health: 10
• clothes & beauty: 0
• transport: 4.80
• other: 1,618.49 (how I would class my house expenses)

reflection: typical week money-wise in terms of reflecting my non-house spending – I’m saving really aggressively right now and don’t have a lot of money for discretionary spending. Even if I did, I’m very much a homebody during the work week. My job is probably more stressful than most as a baseline but this week was truly unbelievably bad. Still, looking through the week and taking time to step back I realize just how quality my support network is and for that I'm very grateful.

Does anyone else get bothered by the animosity directed at “not like other girls”.
In some of the women only subs on reddit I read so much hate directed at the women that feel ostracized from womanhood.
From elementary school onwards it was other girls rejecting me and telling me I’m not like them. I didn’t easily understand the more complex social interactions required after 3rd grade.
I can’t help but feel like Autistic women are often the ones that end up labeled “not like other women” and then harangued for not being like other women and supporting the ya ya sisterhood.
Am I the only one that struggles with this?
I wish so hard I could be like other girls or women. I wish so hard I knew how to.

I've always only had one friend at a time; one at elementary school, one at gymnasium. And even those were very surface ones, we were very dependent on each other and we both had a lot of mental issues - not healthy ones. We also never hungout after school (because I wasn't allowed to) so I was isolated for the majority of my day at home. I never truly learned how to be close to people, love and care for them or even myself.
Now, I (22) finally found some great people that I love but I'm scared I'll lose them, because I don't know how to be a good friend. I don't know how often to reach out, if I'm being supportive enough, what to expect from them either, etc. I'd love to hear your tips or ideas on how to improve this.

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Background

To understand some concepts I'm going to use, I would invite everyone to listen to this video. It's a reading of "Feeling Is The Secret" by Neville Goddard. You can obviously just get the book as well. It's only 44 pages. I think it happens to be something that works well as listening material for a 30 minute walk or drive. This is introductory material for self-initiation into the mysteries of the ancients. It outlines how one develops intent, after which the subconscious turns this intent into reality (internal reality), after which the self more or less acts automatically (still with conscious choice but an inherent limited capacity) to turn the internal reality into external reality. You may recognize its argument as being similar to popular book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, but Goddard's treatment is far more profound and detailed, and it's only getting started!
I also suggest studying archetypes, which is really just symbolic/abstract psychology. A few avenues: Carl Jung, Jordan Peterson, Tarot cards, ancient pantheons from Scandinavia to Rome to Sumer, "tree of life" myths from Scandinavia to the Jewish Kabbalah, and other similar systems. Also useful are the dualistic concepts of the Chinese Yijing (philosophy of change).
I'm going to try to put all of these together and arrive back at the original question of masculinity and the damage currently done.

The Mind

At a very early stage in one's life, the mind is whole. There are no separate archetypes — just one thing. Over time, the mind divides. At a physical level, the more obvious and significant division is the left/right hemisphere divide. At an archetypal level, it is the father / mother (or simply masculine/feminine) figures and the hero / adversary figures. I believe you can keep going with no real end. Every "figure" or archetype in the mind can be divided into two more, allowing for an infinite variety of models that the self is developed from. Within the father, you can develop the good father, the bad father, the strict but fair father, the hippie but wise father, etc. Same with the variations on the mother. I won't list out all of these variations but instead focus on the first level to really illustrate how this works.
What's actually happening here? I believe the fathemother divide isn't truly based on gender, but the genders do have a typical expertise in one or the other. Based on Goddard's description of the process from visualization to physical reality, there are two major steps: the creation of want (deciding what you want and visualizing it before bed) and the realization of want (the dream-state where the subconscious is trained on the feelings produced before bed). The creation step is the "masculine" part, which "impregnates" the subconscious with feelings to be realized. The realization step is the "feminine" part, which "births" a "new mind" (or "new life", if we are using reincarnation terminology) when you wake up. Roughly speaking, this implies the conscious part of the mind is "masculine" and the subconscious part of the mind is "feminine". I'll just say this one last time: the genderization of these parts of the mind are firstly symbolic of their role in the creation of the self, and secondly may or may not contain some truth as to how the two genders' minds work slightly differently.
The other dualistic concept is the hero / adversary. As in the Egyptian Osirian tradition, Horus (the hero) is merely a reincarnation of his father (Osiris, the father figure). Thus, the hero is merely the "newborn" conscious mind upon waking up. Given that the conscious self (the ego) can adhere to its predetermined code (from prior training in the subconscious), or it can go against that code, you naturally have a hero vs adversary contrast within the conscious mind. The adversary is simply the self which denies all assumptions, all ideals, all past truths. This is not strictly "bad", although it could be bad in some situations. More commonly, this is merely depicted as mischievousness in myth, and it is very useful, important for things like creativity.
Now, it's time to discuss where we are at as a society and what the real meaning of the memetic trends are.

The Change

The primary symbolic change in western culture is the "bad father" (or toxic masculinity). This has created a dialectic:

• Some people reject the father entirely. The participation trophies, the overprotective parenting, etc — that is acceptance of only the mother.
• Some people embrace the bad father. The "greed is good" ideology, the promoters of the Dark Triad, the growth of criminal and corrupt mindsets — that is acceptance of the bad father.
• Some people don't necessarily embrace the bad father concept, but they take a reactionary stance and reject the mother entirely. If you only embrace the father, you're creating want, but you don't know how to realize it. If you can't dream, the only thing you can do is see physical/existing reality. Thus, you have a sort of physical materialism. This is where materialism comes from: acceptance of only the father (and only the senses which are consciously registered).

This leads to a diminishing amount of people who:

• Still love the father (see masculinity in a good light). This is the idea of positive masculinity, is an expression of the ideal evolutionary game theory solution, which is protective altruism colloquially called "Tit for Tat". This is an expression of a system of thought which has the capacity for forgiveness and punishment, in order to limit the tragedy of the commons in repeated games scenarios (an accurate description of human interaction).
• Embrace the mother as the father (not love the mother as the mother, but who use fatherly love to love the mother). This is the masculine idea of guidance, is a preference for outcome-based morality rather than intent-based morality. This is founded on a belief of reason — actually living according to rational thought rather than the emotional creations of the subconscious. It is the idea that you "walk the dog" rather than letting the dog walk you. You're not really adding anything to the situation if you just love the mother as the mother; randomness + randomness = more randomness.

What all of this really means is our thought processes are fundamentally limited. The "masculine" is the conscious self, the "feminine" is the subconscious. In preferring the subconscious and in turning the conscious into an anti-social beast, we are a ship lost at sea. The conscious self isn't directing the ship towards its rightful destination (truth, virtue, human goodness), and the subconscious isn't able to steer the ship alone. A full human needs both of these parts. Without both, were are in some way inhumane. Barbaric, partial humans.

Historical Origins

It's beyond the scope of this to fully describe the origins of such a cultural shift. However, I will outline a few places to look and draw a loose connection through time. This isn't meant to be a proof, but a roadmap to guide the reader for further research (with personal verification).
There were two distinct types of attacks on authority in the past 500 years.

• One was republican (I will only say this once: "republican" does not mean the Republican political party) in nature, spawning humanist and republican ideals from the Italian renaissance to the American revolution and constitution.
• The other was collectivist in nature, spawning the Reformation, Marxism, and later "cultural Marxism" (or nearly everything you identify with modernist and post-modernist thought, including its latest spawn, wokeism).

These two groups claim to have a common enemy, an authoritarian elite, but their actual philosophies differ greatly.

• Individualism is a core (but not the core) philosophy within republicanism, which is in stark contrast to collectivism. The republicans (from Plato to George Washington) believed in a natural order that must be encouraged through freedoms but tempered by the state, which must be stronger than the strongest cartels in private that would otherwise "rule" the people in a de facto sense (like we have now with state corporatism).
• Collectivism denies any inherent goodness of a natural order (insofar as it is described as a hierarchy), striving for a sort of created equality. It argues the true natural order is equality, and this is only tainted by essentially the inherent "evilness" of humanity, or at bare minimum the negligence of humanity.

As you can see, these two views are diametrically opposed. One views the creative power of humanity as essentially good, albeit flawed. The other views the creative power of humanity as essentially bad. You can see this thoroughly in modern and post-modern art, which acts as a parody to the human condition. It is consumed as the contrived, vain laugh by the very bourgeois that it claims to oppose. This self-hating (or completely out of touch, if they don't realize their own hypocrisy) class of people rules our current society as "the establishment", "the cathedral", "the regime". They are more directly left wing, but they are thoroughly within the right wing and thus represent both choices in our false dialectic of not only our political process, but the morals of our society as a whole.
To return to our cultural shift, the "bad father" arises from an attack by the collectivist schools of thought on all of society for the sins of a small minority. One way of elucidating this is: a few men at the top did some bad things, so all men are bad. It wasn't immediately like this, however. It started with the idea of: "if some Catholic leaders are bad, then all Catholic leaders are" (Reformation). Then, "if some men are unfairly attaining higher status after birth than other men, then all men are essentially cheating themselves from this theoretical 'blank slate' of existence" (Lockean philosophy). Then, "if some corporations (or owners of capital) are out of control, then all of them are" (Marxism). On and on, into the 20th century where we saw arguments by people such as Marcuse to return to a state of primitive sexuality and by feminists to return to a state without even a concept of gender to the latest thoughts, which outright make the claim that men are the enemy of all people, particularly any men which cling to any of the older modalities.
This is a war on human reason, which is a war on human nature itself. Nietzsche saw this as a fusion of the Apollonian and the Dionysian. There are two equivalent ways of breaking down that terminology, but the intent is the same. Perhaps the Dionysian is the good and pure masculine figure, whereas the Apollonian is the adversary figure, thus making the preference for the Apollonian a sort of highly masculine, bad father-esque philosophy. Perhaps the Apollonian is masculinity as a whole, and Dionysian is the femininity as a whole (albeit depicted as a male Dionysus because, ya know, Greeks). Either way, the point is that you need a balance of these figures. And so, to return to the original quote I used as theme "God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him.", the gist is that an imbalance was created, either by killing a holistic concept of a unified "god" in the self (creating the male vs female dialectic), or by assigning this "god" concept to either the conscious or subconscious part of the mind. As stated above, the clear meaning of Nietzsche's arguments is the creation of the dialectic, the splitting of the whole, and the imbalancing of the the bicameral mind in everyone.