Five letter words starting with par

Dear Blake, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t do it. I’ve been with you here before, in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, holding mom’s bottle of Ambian, and shaking, hesitating…just…just waiting to commit. You’re sad. I know it. Downright despaired! Nobody cares about you enough to notice anything’s wrong. They’re too busy with their own lives to give yours any credence. Honestly, they probably wouldn’t notice you were gone until you started to stink up the place. That’s why you’re in the bathroom. They have to go in there. They have to notice it’s locked. Eventually, they’ll get fed up with knocking and just bust it down, and right when they’re ready to deliver the lecture, BAM! There you are. Then they’ll know. No, that’s not it…You’re angry, filled from toes to nose to crown with boiling rage. How dare they treat you the way they do! You aren’t trying to be the center of the world, you don’t even care for attention all that much, but you’d at least like the option. Why don’t they drop in and ask if you want to do something or go somewhere. Sure, you usually say no, but what teenager doesn’t? It would be nice if they at least bothered to try. That’s what they’re supposed to do – try! But, no. The only time they talk to you is when you get a bad grade or they need to “correct” some stupid faux pas you made so they don’t look like complete idiots. No…that doesn’t seem right, either. You don’t know how you’re feeling, do you, Blake? That’s the problem. If you did, you might be able to follow through and take the pills. It’s not weakness, it’s confusion. If you’re going to commit to something so momentous, you may as well know why. I know why, Blake. I know exactly why, and I want to help you. You’re depressed, you just don’t know it, and you wouldn’t want to admit it if you did. That’s okay. Tell me if this sounds familiar: you’re hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and scared, all at the same time. And with it all, you don’t have the energy, much less the desire, to go anywhere, to break out of your bubble and interact in any meaningful way. You don’t feel like you’re worthy of it. How could you be? I’m in your head, Blake. You see your peers living it up and just owning who they are. Look at Brianna. She’s not the valedictorian, but she’s smart enough to be. She just knows there’s no reason. She dances, does community service, has a job, and tons of friends. With a resume like that, and the test scores she humble brags about, what school wouldn’t want her? And now look at you, a sniveling baby, sitting on a toilet, trying not to cry too loud while you shake and hold onto Mommy’s sleeping pills. But all right, it’s okay. Intelligence isn’t everything. You don’t need to be as driven as Brianna. You’d take being Jad. He’s so effortlessly good at the drums, and he’s just so confident in himself. The girls swoon over him, right? It’s a little weird, because, honestly, you don’t think that he’s all that good-looking. At the very least, he can’t be that much more attractive than you, can he? Yet, somehow, he always seems to be flanked by a bunch of thirsty girls while you awkwardly try to talk through messaging apps. They probably laugh at that, the girls. They laugh at your meek attempts to get their attention. You’d feel bad if they talked about you like that, but the sad truth is, not only do they not talk about you, they probably don’t even know who you are. It’s like all the shows and movies about the geeky loner who has greatness thrust upon him and all his fortunes turn around, except you are just utterly unremarkable as you sit on the toilet, trying not to cry too loud while you shake and hold onto Mommy’s sleeping pills. I know how you feel, Blake. I’ve thought these thoughts. I’ve been in the same cloud you have many times. That confusion, that hopelessness is overwhelming. Listen to me: there’s nothing wrong with you. These feelings, they’re not what you should be feeling, not what you deserve to feel, but they are normal, and they will pass. Take a deep breath, count to five, put the lid back on, put the bottle in the cabinet, and get out of that bathroom. I know it’s hard to believe, but high school will end, and with it all the drama and angst that goes with being a teenager. College will come and go even faster, and before long you’ll be out of the competition and into your own. Believe me, I know every adult you’ve ever met has told you the same thing. I know it’s hard for you to think that far ahead. I mean, if you want to get mathematical about it, I’ve lived through five years about seven times and you’ve lived through five years only three times. It’s a weird comparison, but think about what that means. Compared to me and other adults, time has to feel so long for you. Ten minutes for you is like five minutes for me…maybe that’s not true, but I think the spirit of it is close enough. The point is, no matter how bad you feel now, those feelings will go away with time. They’ll come back, but they aren’t the norm, and they aren’t your Fate. Somebody told me something once, I can’t remember who. Maybe I just heard it somewhere. Doesn’t matter. I’d like to share it with you, because I believe it. We are the sum of our choices. This, taking these pills, is a big choice, Blake. It’s more consequential than any other decision you’ve ever made. More importantly, Blake, once you make it, that’s it – you can’t undo it. We may make mistakes, and some of those mistakes will be really, really bad, but until we draw our last breaths, we have the chance to shift the balance of our decisions toward something we can take pride in. We can’t erase the mistakes, but we can do our best to own up to them, to seek redemption, and to help ourselves avoid making them again. Not with this, though. Worse, no matter what other good we’ve done in our lives, regardless of how we’re remembered, there’ll always be that horrible asterisk that outshines everything else. When people think our names, they’ll automatically think of the word – suicide. I won’t patronize and ask you if that’s really what you want, I know it’s not. It has to be said, though. It has to be said, Blake. But I know how this story ends, and I’m proud of you for it. More than that, I’m grateful. Choose differently now, and not only do you remove yourself, but you erase me, this letter, and everything else I love. It’s because of you that I’m here now, Blake. And, without going too deep into it, let me just say that all these things I’ve told you here, you’ll come to appreciate. You’re going to be okay, buddy. You’re going to be okay. It starts with making the right choice now, the healthy choice. Do yourself a favor, Blake. Put the cap back on, put the pills in the cabinet, get out of that bathroom, and go talk to someone. Talk to Mom. Talk to Dad. Talk to Jim. You don’t have to tell them, just talk to them. Remind yourself that there are people who love you. Remind yourself that the mean, evil thoughts in your head are your own insecurities trying to rile you up. Remind yourself that the stupid things people say to you in class or in the hallway are just dumb teenage drama, kids trying to get attention by being as wild, rebellious, and ridiculous as they can be. It’ll pass. You’ll learn to recognize those thoughts for what they are, to use them as motivation to be better. You’ll see those same bullies become kind and compassionate because they have children, and they recognize that there are people out there who act like they acted and they don’t want to see their child be treated the way they treated you. All the while, the people you love will still be there, same as ever, because they need you like you need them. Most importantly, nothing is forever, Blake, the bad or the good. Make the most with what you have. Ride out the bad because you know it will end. Appreciate the good because you never know how long it will last. Most of all, love yourself Blake. Put the cap on, put the pills away, and get out of that bathroom. Don’t lose sight of your hope for the future for traumas in your past. It’s easier said than done, I know, but, trust me, it’s worth the effort. I love you, Blake, and I’m grateful for you and all you do. Take care, buddy. Love, Blake

https://thewest.com.au/sport/fremantle-dockers/craig-odonoghue-walyalups-jye-amiss-is-worth-weight-in-gold-thanks-to-set-shot-goalkicking-accuracy-c-10795249
The footy world needs to start talking about the magnificence of Jye Amiss’ set shot goalkicking.
The Walyalup (Fremantle) forward is the beacon of hope amid an industry which is struggling to seize opportunities in front of the big sticks.
Time and time again we are watching players missing set shots. Yet Amiss has now kicked a goal from 10 of his last 11 set shots.
It’s an extraordinary figure which belies what we are seeing elsewhere. If you’re a Dockers midfielder streaming through the centre of the ground, it must be an amazing feeling to know that your key forward is so reliable once he has the ball in his hands.
Make no mistake, Walyalup’s seven-point win over Narrm on Saturday was achieved through accuracy from their set shots.
The Dockers had 11 set shots for the day and kicked nine goals. Melbourne had 14 and booted five. The Demons’ tally included shots that failed to even score.
The contrast was clear late in the match. Kossie Pickett missed with 7:20 remaining and 10 points the difference. Three minutes later, Jacob van Rooyen also missed to reduce the deficit to nine points. And with 65 seconds left, Angus Brayshaw also missed a set shot opportunity.
When the Dockers had chances in front of goal, they made the moment count.
Amiss was recruited with everyone knowing that he was an accurate kick. He booted 65.22 while playing colts footy for East Perth.
But it’s one thing to be accurate on a Saturday morning when playing with your mates, it’s another to stand up under the pressure of AFL with thousands of people at the ground.
HIs technique is unique. Amiss is slow and steady with his momentum only building late in his approach. It’s a repeatable action and one he is clearly confident in.
Amiss is a teenager in his second season. He’s played 13 games. Players with more experience would love to be kicking like him.
On Friday night, Carlton had 10 set shots and kicked only three goals from them.
West Coast had 11 set shots on Saturday night for four majors. The Western Bulldogs sprayed three of their set shots so badly against Gold Coast that they didn’t even score.
On Sunday, Ken Hinkley must have been going crazy watching his team dominating the final quarter against Richmond and being unable put them away. Darcy Byrne-Jones missed a set shot with 14 minutes left and then didn’t even want to take the next opportunity he got moments later.
Lachie Jones then missed with eight minutes remaining and instead of the Power having a match winning lead, they were in front by only 11 points after kicking 8.17.
I’ll repeat. Amiss has nailed 10 of his last 11 set shots.
Imagine being a defender playing on him. There’s enormous pressure knowing that if he takes a mark, the ball will almost certainly be sailing through for a goal.
Clubs spend days analysing games looking for any type of edge on the opposition. Recruiters endure cold, wintry days trying to find talent. Players put their bodies on the line trying to get the ball forward. It’s soul destroying when opportunities are missed.
Athletes around the world struggle when the game stops and everyone focuses on them.
Whether it’s serving in tennis, a free throw in basketball or pulling out the driver in golf, executing skills in a controlled environment somehow seems harder that doing it under pressure. The mind plays tricks, and when one player misses, suddenly the pressure builds on everyone else.
We’ve seen it happen on massive stages. West Coast kicked 8.13 in the 2015 grand final. But Dom Sheed became a hero with a set shot goal which will live on forever in 2018.
The Dockers booted 8.14 in their 2013 grand final loss. Hawthorn lost in 2012 after kicking 11.15 to Sydney’s 14.7.
St Kilda fans remember their 9.14 in the 2009 grand final, while Geelong fans will never forget Cam Mooney missing a set shot on the half-time siren on grand final day in 2008. That was a massive moment.
Which brings us back to Amiss. He’s a kid, but he’s the future. Key forwards who kick goals earn a hell of a lot of money throughout their careers. Key forwards who take marks and then miss their chances earn plenty too, and constantly leave their fans immensely frustrated.
We celebrate a lot of things in footy. The high mark is awesome. The courage to keep your eyes on the ball is amazing. Dribbling goals from the pocket makes your head spin.
But the reliability of lining up for goal with a set shot and sending the ball directly over the umpire’s head time and time again, is the thing that truly matters. Amiss doesn’t miss and that makes him an incredibly valuable commodity.

Dear Blake, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t do it. I’ve been with you here before, in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, holding mom’s bottle of Ambian, and shaking, hesitating…just…just waiting to commit. You’re sad. I know it. Downright despaired! Nobody cares about you enough to notice anything’s wrong. They’re too busy with their own lives to give yours any credence. Honestly, they probably wouldn’t notice you were gone until you started to stink up the place. That’s why you’re in the bathroom. They have to go in there. They have to notice it’s locked. Eventually, they’ll get fed up with knocking and just bust it down, and right when they’re ready to deliver the lecture, BAM! There you are. Then they’ll know. No, that’s not it…You’re angry, filled from toes to nose to crown with boiling rage. How dare they treat you the way they do! You aren’t trying to be the center of the world, you don’t even care for attention all that much, but you’d at least like the option. Why don’t they drop in and ask if you want to do something or go somewhere. Sure, you usually say no, but what teenager doesn’t? It would be nice if they at least bothered to try. That’s what they’re supposed to do – try! But, no. The only time they talk to you is when you get a bad grade or they need to “correct” some stupid faux pas you made so they don’t look like complete idiots. No…that doesn’t seem right, either. You don’t know how you’re feeling, do you, Blake? That’s the problem. If you did, you might be able to follow through and take the pills. It’s not weakness, it’s confusion. If you’re going to commit to something so momentous, you may as well know why. I know why, Blake. I know exactly why, and I want to help you. You’re depressed, you just don’t know it, and you wouldn’t want to admit it if you did. That’s okay. Tell me if this sounds familiar: you’re hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and scared, all at the same time. And with it all, you don’t have the energy, much less the desire, to go anywhere, to break out of your bubble and interact in any meaningful way. You don’t feel like you’re worthy of it. How could you be? I’m in your head, Blake. You see your peers living it up and just owning who they are. Look at Brianna. She’s not the valedictorian, but she’s smart enough to be. She just knows there’s no reason. She dances, does community service, has a job, and tons of friends. With a resume like that, and the test scores she humble brags about, what school wouldn’t want her? And now look at you, a sniveling baby, sitting on a toilet, trying not to cry too loud while you shake and hold onto Mommy’s sleeping pills. But all right, it’s okay. Intelligence isn’t everything. You don’t need to be as driven as Brianna. You’d take being Jad. He’s so effortlessly good at the drums, and he’s just so confident in himself. The girls swoon over him, right? It’s a little weird, because, honestly, you don’t think that he’s all that good-looking. At the very least, he can’t be that much more attractive than you, can he? Yet, somehow, he always seems to be flanked by a bunch of thirsty girls while you awkwardly try to talk through messaging apps. They probably laugh at that, the girls. They laugh at your meek attempts to get their attention. You’d feel bad if they talked about you like that, but the sad truth is, not only do they not talk about you, they probably don’t even know who you are. It’s like all the shows and movies about the geeky loner who has greatness thrust upon him and all his fortunes turn around, except you are just utterly unremarkable as you sit on the toilet, trying not to cry too loud while you shake and hold onto Mommy’s sleeping pills. I know how you feel, Blake. I’ve thought these thoughts. I’ve been in the same cloud you have many times. That confusion, that hopelessness is overwhelming. Listen to me: there’s nothing wrong with you. These feelings, they’re not what you should be feeling, not what you deserve to feel, but they are normal, and they will pass. Take a deep breath, count to five, put the lid back on, put the bottle in the cabinet, and get out of that bathroom. I know it’s hard to believe, but high school will end, and with it all the drama and angst that goes with being a teenager. College will come and go even faster, and before long you’ll be out of the competition and into your own. Believe me, I know every adult you’ve ever met has told you the same thing. I know it’s hard for you to think that far ahead. I mean, if you want to get mathematical about it, I’ve lived through five years about seven times and you’ve lived through five years only three times. It’s a weird comparison, but think about what that means. Compared to me and other adults, time has to feel so long for you. Ten minutes for you is like five minutes for me…maybe that’s not true, but I think the spirit of it is close enough. The point is, no matter how bad you feel now, those feelings will go away with time. They’ll come back, but they aren’t the norm, and they aren’t your Fate. Somebody told me something once, I can’t remember who. Maybe I just heard it somewhere. Doesn’t matter. I’d like to share it with you, because I believe it. We are the sum of our choices. This, taking these pills, is a big choice, Blake. It’s more consequential than any other decision you’ve ever made. More importantly, Blake, once you make it, that’s it – you can’t undo it. We may make mistakes, and some of those mistakes will be really, really bad, but until we draw our last breaths, we have the chance to shift the balance of our decisions toward something we can take pride in. We can’t erase the mistakes, but we can do our best to own up to them, to seek redemption, and to help ourselves avoid making them again. Not with this, though. Worse, no matter what other good we’ve done in our lives, regardless of how we’re remembered, there’ll always be that horrible asterisk that outshines everything else. When people think our names, they’ll automatically think of the word – suicide. I won’t patronize and ask you if that’s really what you want, I know it’s not. It has to be said, though. It has to be said, Blake. But I know how this story ends, and I’m proud of you for it. More than that, I’m grateful. Choose differently now, and not only do you remove yourself, but you erase me, this letter, and everything else I love. It’s because of you that I’m here now, Blake. And, without going too deep into it, let me just say that all these things I’ve told you here, you’ll come to appreciate. You’re going to be okay, buddy. You’re going to be okay. It starts with making the right choice now, the healthy choice. Do yourself a favor, Blake. Put the cap back on, put the pills in the cabinet, get out of that bathroom, and go talk to someone. Talk to Mom. Talk to Dad. Talk to Jim. You don’t have to tell them, just talk to them. Remind yourself that there are people who love you. Remind yourself that the mean, evil thoughts in your head are your own insecurities trying to rile you up. Remind yourself that the stupid things people say to you in class or in the hallway are just dumb teenage drama, kids trying to get attention by being as wild, rebellious, and ridiculous as they can be. It’ll pass. You’ll learn to recognize those thoughts for what they are, to use them as motivation to be better. You’ll see those same bullies become kind and compassionate because they have children, and they recognize that there are people out there who act like they acted and they don’t want to see their child be treated the way they treated you. All the while, the people you love will still be there, same as ever, because they need you like you need them. Most importantly, nothing is forever, Blake, the bad or the good. Make the most with what you have. Ride out the bad because you know it will end. Appreciate the good because you never know how long it will last. Most of all, love yourself Blake. Put the cap on, put the pills away, and get out of that bathroom. Don’t lose sight of your hope for the future for traumas in your past. It’s easier said than done, I know, but, trust me, it’s worth the effort. I love you, Blake, and I’m grateful for you and all you do. Take care, buddy. Love, Blake

I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else had this problem and figured out how to overcome it: I like Vampire the Masquerade, but the major problem is that I'm shit at the social intrigue and politicking part of it. Coming up with good social GoT/Borgias style plots, figuring out what and how the characters say something,) and compared to D&D, so much of the game centers around that.
I decided to bite the bullet and started up our first game. I got through Session Zero fine and then ran 3 more sessions. I tried making it compelling using the established lore for the setting. I stumbled over my words a lot or paused to figure out how an NPC would react, and they wouldn't say it, but I could tell that was grating for the players.
Example: The coterie took up a request from one of the party touchstones - to go after a lawyer who is threatening an injunction on the touchstone's bank. This lawyer in question is actually a Lasombra ghoul who attained a senior partner position after killing his wife who was after the position herself. The problem was I never got around to playing it because I don't know how to roleplay or talk as a lawyer - I am not one myself. The point is I'm not too experienced with the lingo to wing it, and I'm kinda crap when it comes to small talk. Thoughts and/or advice?

Alright, I'll explain the situation with as much information as I am comfortable with, and then ask a few questions near the end. Questions are fine.
My Details:
Last 60 Credits GPA [3.55] Worth noting, I had surgery during some of the lowest grades & I ended the last 16 credits with 4.00.
PreReqs GPA [~3.5] Worth noting, Chemistry I & II are both C's destroying my GPA. Both taken during pandemic at a community college.
GRE [Have Not Taken]
PT Observation Hours: ~140 Hours, 1 location; May also get a job as a front desk guy at another PT place which I was told does help, & may do another internship at another location.
Me: 22 year old, White, Male
My Currently Known Options:
Option 1: In State School

• $60,000 Total instate cost
• Minimum GPA last 60 & PreReq: 3.2+
• Average GPA (last 60 & PreReq) accepted is 3.7
• 30 minimum PT hours
• Program Start: June
• Length: 3 Years
• 2 L.O.R.
• No GRE
• If not accepted, is waiting another year worth it?

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Option 2: DPT Hybrid 2 Year Programs

• ~$100,000-120,000 + Travel, Lodging, More Total Cost
• Graduating a year early = $70,000 or $140,000 of opportunity cost elsewhere (See Goals)
• Allegedly can't word during these programs (opportunity cost unknown)
• 3 L.O.R.
• GRE Usually Needed

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Option 3: A hypothetically affordable ($40,000 or less if outside of New England, $80,000 or less if within) school

• Probably 3 years
• Potentially does not exist

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GOALS:
I will be graduated in August, but cannot apply to any schools until the end of June as I have just started my internship. In most cases, this means I will have a year where I can up my gpa, or just work. I do not want to have much debt after PT school, which makes my local school sound nice, but with my circumstances it does not appear to be likely I am accepted. This would mean I either need to wait 2 years before entering the affordable local program, or consider other options. Hybrid programs have a year of opportunity cost, making them tempting OR 2 years of opportunity cost if I were to not find a reasonable program within the area after 1 year. This opportunity cost might be somewhat negated by me being able to work during a 3 year program. Other options I could consider would have to either be enough less than $60,000 that I could live there and it still be worth it, or around the same price and reasonably close to Connecticut because I have family there.
I will have my Biology BA degree in August, and could probably make $45,000+ a year. I want to be a PT soon and have schooling behind me, I enjoy it but it is all I have ever known. I want to make money, have a place to call my own, and feel like I am finally out of the period of my life where I am chasing being a PT. I knew I wanted to be a PT since sophomore year of H.S. but did not do the 3+3 thing because I did not know it existed so feel as though I have been at it for 6 years with minimum 3 more to go.
I do not want it to be thought that I am lazy for mentioning this here. I have looked into this stuff a lot, far too much. I think the path that feels right to me is the 2 year program, but that is also potentially an immature/impatient side of me that just wants my hands on the degree and to not have to wait.

I 26M am a student at NIFT Kolkata. I went to a boarding school in Ooty , followed by undergrad & post grad in Economics from a college in Kottayam district.
Coming to my childhood, I had parents who were present and 'emotionally' available. I've had my share of trauma but it's far and less in between.
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend 21F. Many things that she conversed struck a deep chord with me. She was saying, how her parents, even more so her dad was emotionally present for her. She knows how to be treated. She distances herself from men who're 'disrespectful' and doesn't get lured by 'appealing words'.
This made me question my life. Whenever it came to interpersonal relations, my interpersonal relations were sub par. This further holds more true with the fairer sex. I mostly gravitate towards speaking about abstract ideas and concepts.
Not like, I do not have feelings, I do have feelings and I do share about them with my 'close friends' .
When I started analysing patterns, about my interpersonal relations with women, what I realised was that; the women who I always had strained interpersonal relations with were the women who had, an emotionally disregulative family/ emotionally absent fathe extremely strict fathe toxic father.
Again, I further analysed the few extremely warm interpersonal relations I've with women and understood further that; the women, I've had warm relations with, beyond the talking stage are the ones who had emotionally present fathers. A strong male figure.
Similarly, another trait, I've analysed is the fact that, women I've had warm relations with; their family mandated that they dine together as a family. No TV while dining. Family has to sit together and converse.
Atm, I'm trying to reconcile this pattern and explanation. Women with a strong sense of self identity and self respect are easier for me to make mutually respectful and genuine interpersonal relations.
Could this hypothesis, be explained substantiated by academic literature? Or is it my confirmation bias?

TL;DR at the bottom
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Story time I thought ya'll might get a laugh out of. Also, any advice on what to keep an eye out for or suggestions on attempting to maintain my monstrosity are welcome.
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So, I bought a house back in last December. Has an inground pool on the property that is 20x50. Now I was always poor growing up never had a pool nor friends that did so mind you I have not a clue about a single thing about them at this point. Now it looked like the liner of this pool had seen better days but serviceable for a year or three until I could deal with that. Now I'm sure some of you are already cringing but don't worry it gets worse.
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Winter had come to an end started getting warmer, so I decided to start looking into this thing, with some heavy "encouragement" from my young kid. So, knowing absolutely nothing I decide to wait and enlist a local professional to evaluate the situation. The pool guy shows up to take a look and quote me, I go out with him and help remove its winter cover, and thus the horror story begins.
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The pool was virtually empty aside from two to three feet in the deep end. Now I bet you'd think it was a leak and I'm being dramatic, oh no no dear reader, for some ungodly reason the previous owner just...drained it (this has since been tested and irrefutable). Didn't say a word about it. It had water in it at one point while I was looking at the home. Should I have kept an eye on it and known sooner? Probably. Was I naive and was like welp just don't touch it until spring? Yeap. Well, you guessed it from and older already kind of rough liner, the bloody thing shrank. This caused a lot of areas being pulled out from the coping and a pretty rough tear at the far skimmer. I am about to find out how expensive pools are.
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So, the pool guy took a look and assessed the damage. Obviously, I am going to need a new liner and to add to the fun he determined the coping was pretty much shot and would also need to be replaced. He said without digging into it he would estimate it was going to cost me 10k to 13k. Spoiler alert not going to happen this year not even close I am far from wealthy, and this was simply not an option. So, I asked him if there is anything at all we could at least try so my daughter would not be absolutely devasted her summer swimming dream was gone. He gives me instructions and shows me how to pull the liner and use liner lock to hold it in place and then advises me to fill the pool until it's about 18inches away from the lowest spot that will need help and we will see if it'll be remotely possible.
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Some areas worked out. Others, others did not. I wouldn't be writing this right now if it had gone well. Now many other minor areas aside there were three major areas that would obviously need something done about. The liner had shrunk too much. No matter how much I tried every time I got a good amount of water in about a 10-to-12-foot length of liner would pull out of the coping even with the liner lock and would sag down to about 16-to-18 inches at its lowest point. The corner where the ladder would go in the shallow end had the same sort of issue but worse. The corners aren't 90 degrees it is a diagonal slant from wall to wall. This spot ended up being about 8-foot total starting on one wall going across the diagonal to the other wall, about 22 inches at its lowest point. Then to top it off, that tear at the skimmer got worse, but was by far the easiest problem to solve.
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As you would expect, and as I feared he came and looked and gave me the news, there is no saving it. Cover it back up until I could afford to have to have it redone. However, growing up how I did I am quite resourceful and find ways to make things work through some creative engineering. So, with the professional taping out, limited on resources I thought to myself, why not try? What's the worst the happens? The same outcome I already have. It's already FUBAR, it isn't like I can make it worse since my current option is just cover it. And who knows maybe it works and I am my kid's hero.
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After some time doing research (if you could call it then more like plotting like a man who has lost their damn mind), a buddy of mine in tow, and plenty of beer, the plan was put into action. We secured the sagging liner to the pool wall the best we could with some sort of waterproof epoxy type thing that could be removed so wouldn't cause any new permanent damage. I had gotten my hands on some new pool liner vinyl that was large enough to cover all the areas we need. Cut out pieces to size and shape, used vinyl cement initially to secure the piece to the original liner all the way up to the coping. Once secured ran another bit of the vinyl cement along the seam, honestly this idea occurred as a why not, shouldn't hurt? Then just for good measure went over the seam once again with a healthy dose of flex paste. After that we secured the new liner pieces into the coping with liner lock. Also, we decided to leave slack in these pieces with the thought of if there is more stretching instead of tearing or pulling it out maybe the slack would allow it to not end badly. This process was repeated over all 3 of the major danger zones. Now there are some jacked up small spots here and there as well but honestly, I could not care less about them until we discovered if Frankenpool had any hope.
​
We filled the pool to about 2 inches below the lowest giant red flag to simulate as much water weight as I could to see if the situation would worsen and if we had any hope. Three weeks on monitoring and taking measurements there was no change, a glimmer of hope. As of this weekend we filled the quilt, I mean pool to its intended water line. As we watched...and waited.....and monitored....no changes in the liner worsening......no water loss. I'm not going to lie I'm not sure about my partner in unspeakable crimes against pools, but I was absolutely shocked. I was expecting some sort of catastrophic failure at our unspeakable "repairs".
​
Now I am not stupid, I know this isn't going to last. In fact, it probably has no right to have made it this far. If it makes it the year even if it ends up requiring more minor Frankenstein treatment, I will be speechless. But hope remains....and is only growing stronger. Pump and filter are fully functioning. And beginning the cleaning process.
​
If you made it this far feel free to call me as dumb as an idea as I had in attempting this. But also, any advice on how to keep this thing going or what potential problems to watch for although it begs to be put out of its misery, please let me know! Or any questions in what exactly we had done or just questioning my sanity.
​
TL;DR
Don't know the first thing about pools. Previous owner set me up for worse failure. Went evil scientist to "fix" the unfixable because why not? Now I have Frakenpool that looks like it's from Fallout. But currently it is working so far.

I just want to add trigger warnings: abuse, sleeping pill use, possible reactive abuse?, self harm/suicide ideation
Hello everyone! I am just really struggling with determining if I was the narcissist in a previous relationship that’s weighing heavy on me. I would like to state that before this relationship, I was in an all over abusive relationship (That was actually my 1st serious relationship, happened in high school) that was very traumatic. Within and after that relationship, that ex was telling me that no one would love me or love me like he does, would physically hurt me as he would tell me that ‘he is not hurting me, I am hurting myself’, blame me for everything in the relationship, his mom would make excuses for him even as she heard him hurting me.. It was a LOT. And I guess that was also why I was so susceptible to my next relationship which is the one I am inquiring about.
So, that relationship lasted 3 years.. I went to therapy.. A year and maybe a half later, I met another guy (which is the one I am more confused on and questioning myself the most..) My 1st bf was known as not a good guy so it was easier for me to come to terms with that it was not me? But this one… Everyone LOVES him… We met through a friend of mine at a theme park.. I guess for a good month he was trying to get my number from her (she was a good friend of mine at the time, she was dating one of his good friends, they knew each other. She took us to where he was). I got a text from him saying “Hey beautiful, can you guess who this is?” and it all started from there..
He had previously gotten out of a 4 year relationship, 2 months before we met (Stupid me; HOWEVER, i did not know how short of a time span it truly was until I went through his phone and laptop), but he made it seem like she was just cheating on him and not doing right by him majorly, he was over it, and it was done. I didn’t know his part until the 4th year when I went through his laptop and saw that he would call her names, he would be trying to be sexual with her friend which is the same girl who told him that he couldn’t cheat on me with anyone besides her and he agreed (Same girl that would be mentioned in a bit), and so on.
We ended up going to the same college, and hanging out a lot; However, even from month one he was trying to get with me and saying that he “had” to be with me because I was sweet, beautiful, xyz but he didn’t have time for that at the moment due to him just getting out of the relationship (which I was ok with tbh. But when mentioning that I don’t think I wanted to date he would be like why?… (As well as I think this is what got me too because he was not prioritizing a relationship so it did not seem like he would be using me). He would call me while he was at work a lot, and he even showed up to my house once randomly because I was trying to avoid hanging out with him and me and my friend had to lie and say I wasn’t there. He would explain a lot of how we would make sense together in a sense and why I should not be opposed to dating him..
Within the 4th month, he confessed that he loved me and hoped that I felt the same… In my gut I felt that it did not feel right… But everyone was saying that he liked me, everyone loved him, and he seemed like a good guy and totally opposite of my 1st ex… So I thought, maybe this is love and maybe I do love him… One night I stupidly explained what I been through before meeting him (my previous relationship and friendships) and how I just did not want to go through that again… He said he would never put me through anything like that, will treat me how I deserve like the princess I am, and how laid back he was (but I did not think laid back would mean flirting with other women in front of me or in general, etc which he would mention at a later time when bringing things up to him “Well I told you I was laid back”).. By this time I was lowkey babe, his princess, etc… His friends telling me that he really liked me, and I made him happy… That he talked about me a lot.. I thought maybe this was it…
Around month 8, he asked me out… Immediately a shift began… Right after he asked me out he stated “You’re lucky because there was someone else I was supposed to date”… I instantly knew that something was wrong… But at the same time… A thought that ran through my head was my 1st ex telling me how no one would ever love me like him and other things… and tbh I think I just went with it and accepted fate Ig. I got in his car and we drove off… But now that I even look back, he would question me sexually compared to other women.. call himself the “booty king”.. and talk about how he was sad that he lost his old phone containing photos of all the girls’ pics he had while we were talking… so.. Yeah… Ig that wasn’t even the 1st shift.. I guess I was just used to that type of treatment now that I think about it..
To add more information before getting to the main portion, before so much occurred, I did not mind him hanging out even alone with girls.. He made me feel safe and I trusted him and even told him that. To the point where he told me that he was going to Disney with the girl mentioned above and that she liked him, but I need to not worry because he wasn’t going to do anything and liked me and other stuff. This was after he told me he thinks we shouldn’t be talking to other people (so this occurred a little before he asked me out). However, during this time, if he saw me with a guy he seemed to get jealous. For example, I was saving the table, and the janitor who looked like a guy my age came over, we nodded, and he just kept working. He came back as the janitor moved and asked me if he was flirting with me and thought that I was lying about him not flirting with me. Another time, I went to the movie theatre with my friend and he brought it up a few times and was asking about it and claiming it was a date. However, he would keep stating that he was not the jealous type and his friends would too..
But anyways after we started dating, he immediately started ignoring me as I was talking and would always be on his phone. One such event was when we were headed somewhere with his friends… Once they got out of the car, and I began talking to him, he immediately got on his phone and was kind of ignoring me but giving ‘mhms’, ‘ohs’, and other sounds like that.. Eventually I went quiet.. When his girl friend 1st got back into the car, he immediately put his phone down and started conversating with her… I was hurt.. which led to him doing some actions and admitting that he did them because I was sad and wouldn’t tell him why and shrugged. He would be on his phone looking at girls.. Even when my parents were going through a divorce, and I was venting to him over skype.. He was just ignoring me.. and I could see through his glasses that he was just browsing on tumblr which already made me more sad and alone, then I saw him staring at and sharing a picture of a girl showing her butt, and I got upset and he got upset with me for being upset.. On our one year anniversary even, I was talking to him, and he was ignoring me.. But I caught him looking at a picture with girls showing their butts and just became quiet and upset.. He’d already called me insecure and such by that point..
Another incident which I’m sure sounds stupid and may just be really stupid.. Was 2 months after we dated.. I told him all that I wanted for my birthday was to take him to HHN for his first time.. He said he didn’t have any plans to go with anyone else and pinky promised me.. I would say maybe a couple of weeks later he told me he was going with one of his girl friends that worked there on that night, and I immediately called him.. He invited me to go, but I couldn’t because I was busy, and I asked if he could wait, and he brought up that he couldn’t just say no because he already told her yes. I brought up the pinky promises, and stupidly begged him if he could just wait.. He said he couldn’t and he had to go.. Later he posted on snapchat about how much fun he was having and how cool and crazy it was.. Later told me he just went with her because she could get him in for free.. which I would have paid if needed, but I didn’t know.. He would manipulate me into letting him do whatever because his ex did (For example, going to stay on the beach with his girl best friend, her mom, and her sister, but by this point he already kind of made it clear that he did not care about me, so I was uncomfortable with it, but he kept pushing until I said yes and would guilt trip me for being unsure).
During this 1st year, he already called me a whore for having guy friends, crazy, insecure because of above things etc. One incident we went to the club with one of his guy friends, I didn’t know the plan was to find girls for him (his guy friend) to get.. So while I was trying to dance and interact with them, I noticed he was just looking around and pointing out girls and kind of didn’t acknowledge me a lot of the night.. Which did make me sad.. I became standoffish, and that led to an argument and him hitting the steering wheel yelling at me and asking what the fuck is my problem with girls.. Which I remained silent after trying to explain.. Another incident is when at some point in the first couple of months I told him I would have sex with him.. We ended up at a resort because I have timeshares.. However, I got extremely sick to the point I couldn’t breathe and was worried. I did say I would have to pass on sex at the moment because I really could not breathe and didn’t feel well. He was more upset that I didn’t give him sex and said how I lied.. Which I really didn’t mean to.. and I did feel really bad about.
He would say how he didn’t care about how I felt about something, would go do that said thing, and then would come back and apologize after talking to one of his girl friends about it, and how she made him realize it wasn’t cool. He would be really mean and say mean things.. he would start denying his actions and words so I started keeping screenshots to make sure that what I had remembered was accurate.. Adults would tell me that I better take good care of him while this was happening and he would look at me and smile and do like a jerking movement with his head like "yeah you better" if that makes sense..
I noticed after a while, I couldn’t control my emotions… I started becoming more and more emotionally reactive. I became increasingly jealous and trying everything to get him to care.. I also begin to try to find ways to get him to understand how he was hurting me and kept thinking of ways to get him to stop.. When I would react he told me that he showed his friends or told them what I did and their reactions and comments.. He told them I was crazy.. After a while I asked him to stop talking about our relationship to his friends because I noticed he wouldn’t tell them why I was reacting the way I was which also leads me to question if it was me.. I began trying to try to control situations so I wouldn’t get any more hurt. I started becoming passive aggressive and started saying mean things.. I threw my toothbrush at the bathroom door once.. I started taking sleeping pills because I got anxiety when he would text me that he was going out. I started taking the pills as well because I couldn’t heal and move on from the things that had happened as fast as he would’ve liked.. I would try to leave but he would say what I wanted to hear of course.. But if I tried to talk to him about the things, he would hardly say anything or just be like “you’re right, I’m trash”, change the subject, or tell me he would break up with me if I brought it up again.. Eventually he would tell me how I needed help and kiss me on the forehead.. At one point, I asked him if we break up, would he consider trying to work on things in the future after we both do growing, and he responded by shaking his head and telling me only if I had changed… I always made him not want to do things or not want to go to things.. He was more cool than me and had more friends than me he would say or imply at times and even brought it up because I got more likes on my insta posts.. One day I would be wifey and he would be so in love with me and not want any other girls.. and the next day I should understand if he wanted to breakup so he can go be with other girls.. His family said in front of me that he could just go get another girlfriend.. and he would shrug his shoulders and repeat that to me..
Major heartbreak events would happen after I helped him in someway, and he would feel a type of way that I wouldn’t want to help him or do things.. Like I helped get him jobs, get back in school, be on time for work, took care of him when he almost died (which led to a major event I will talk about in a few) he would tell me or show me that he didn’t care about me and I couldn’t count on him to be there for me either.. Like when I tried to tell him that I am becoming more severely depressed due to stuff, he was just like “I care less and less” because I brought up depression due to different things.. Which I know.. Stupid for staying.. However.. He would be “hurt” that I didn’t believe that he loved and cared for me.. That the trust I had was diminishing.. He would ask me why I thought he was lying to me and tell me that there were and are no other girls.. Everything led up to the 4th year..
After being with him in the hospital after he could’ve died.. I was with him and making sure he was ok afterwards.. Something was going to happen with a girl I didn’t feel comfortable with him being alone with and he told me.. surprise.. that he didn’t care and had to go.. Told me she said I was pretty.. I asked him if I could go through his phone a couple of days later, I guess I just needed that final push.. I found so much, from him talking to other women about our relationship but being more concerned about how we were having less and less sex, him cheating and flirting, him texting his friend about how he thought him and his ex were getting back together, etc. And I just lost it.. I woke him up shaking him asking why me.. just why… and before I knew it I slapped him.. It was like slow motion, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.. I immediately felt guilt.. and that was the first time I ever hit someone.. I know it’s not ok.. but that started an altercation and he dug his nails into me and so on.. I went to the bathroom bleeding.. and the next day.. He asked what happened to me and the marks.. I told him I just had a depressive episode.. and he told me that I shouldn’t hurt myself like that.. Like he didn’t remember anything.. It was like me and him switched places.. He began being afraid to communicate with me.. and to this day.. It’s been almost 3 years.. I feel extremely guilty and re-enact that night but begging myself to stop.. to just leave.. I still feel angry at myself.. His close friends were like “he really tried.. he really loved you.. ah I don’t think he’s like that”.. and sometimes it makes me doubt my experience..
At the end of the relationship is something I can’t forget.. He smirked and told me that he knew he’d be ok.. and that he already moved on and accepted everything.. and that has been something hard on me too.. I removed him from a lot but stupidly texted him a month or so later apologizing..
After the relationship when I would hear or see him or his name, I would have little panic attacks.. everything would go blurry and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.. Therapy isn’t helping.. I feel like I can’t move on and sometimes I idealize or day dream about suicide heavily..
I keep trying to stop myself from looking at his postings about loyalty.. being faithful.. giving everything to the girl who is always down for him.. not lying.. how his friends post how amazing he is and his quotes about cheating and such.. but it’s like a bad addiction I just can’t seem to break.. I keep asking myself was it me.. and if I’m just the narcissist.. He did take the blame and apologize near the end of the relationship and then once I reached out and apologized for my actions after the relationship.. But I still am so confused..
I feel consumed by rage.. envy.. Jealousy.. I see him being blessed with everything and thanking God and Jesus which diminished my faith.. If it wasn’t me, then how come he is getting so many blessings and get to be so happy.. I keep saying how it’s not fair.. I feel guilt.. I feel shame.. I don’t trust myself.. I can’t tell who I truly am after lashing out.. I feel like I want to give up.. Like it’s never going to end.. I keep seeing things about narcissistic abuse, and then I get scared because what if it was me….. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to watch any more things on narcissism or abuse for a while.. I keep praying, begging for it all to go away.. I have resorted to tarot and spells.. Faking it til I make it.. Nothing.. and then I get frustrated.. I keep reliving and trying to play things out differently if that makes sense.. I feel so alone, and I self-isolate so much.. It’s almost 3 years.. I am just confused.. and I am sorry for this being so long and possibly confusing and all over the place..

Lifelong Democrat here, more than 40 years, which I reckon is longer than most of you have been alive--by a margin.
My rant follows.
------
- I no longer consider myself a Democrat. This shameful "compromise" (read: cave by Democrats) only cements that more for me. I remain registered as one, because as one I can vote in primaries (Oregon), but that's the only fucking reason at this point.
- Biden will lose half of those who comprised his margin of victory in 2020 if he pushes this abomination through. At least half. Mark my words, folks.
- When regular Americans need more relief than ever, Biden tightens the screws instead. This is going to harm people. He's pushing this through as AI takes more and more jobs--up to a quarter of all jobs between now and five years from now. The job you're expected to have to feed your family on food stamps simply won't exist. Starvation in the streets is going to become commonplace. Here--in the richest country the world has ever seen. Absolutely fucking shameful.
- Biden could have and should have used the 14th Amendment, flipped the Republinazis off in their sniveling pasty-white faces, and said, "Take it to court, bitches. Let's see who that harms more, eh?" An illegitimate and corrupt Supreme Court would not have simply killed his gambit full stop, because the only fuckers who'd've looked bad in the end would be them for ignoring the Constitution, as well as Republinazis for trying to kill the world economy. This isn't just my opinion; it's pretty much gospel for most actual progressives, including Beau of the Fifth Column.
- Did I mention how much harm this is going to cause regular Americans?
- I used to respect Hakeem Jeffries--until his interview this morning on (I believe) Face the Nation, where he spoke political word salad and fellated this "compromise" (read: Democrats caving) like it was going to splooge pure gold into his gaping maw. It was disgusting and shameful.
- Did I mention that AI is coming for your job--as in right fucking now?
- "Democrats cave" is redundant. I apologize. Democrats always fucking cave. Always.
- Since this ploy always works for Republinazis (and quite brilliantly), it will be utilized again and again and again. In other words, the pain for regular Americans is going to get worse and worse and worse. If you think my "people are going to starve in the streets" statement is too much, I suggest you pull your head out of your ass, dude. Your family is probably in line for that very outcome, as you are right now, and you don't even know it, or refuse to acknowledge it.
- Interesting, don't you think, that nary a Democrat has, or is, or likely will address the AI crisis anytime soon. More interesting still is that not a single one of them will even consider universal basic income. Not one.
- But yeah, they are the party of the working class, of regular Americans. Right.
- I would like to state publicly, and for the first time, that my support of Hillary Clinton in 2016 was a massive mistake. Bernie Sanders should've gotten my support. I apologize to all.
- We're farther--much farther--down the toilet than we think we are. We've got the Cave Party, and the Nazi Party. Shit's far more real than you or I can deal with. Best gird the mental and spiritual loins, because fuck me, we're in for a world of hurt, no matter how many times Biden and his White House tweet that the "economy's doing great!" No, it fucking is not. If you're in the 1% maybe, yes. But the rest of us are fucking fucked.
- I don't understand why there isn't an Independent who isn't taking advantage of this full-on right now for the 2024 nomination. We're at a unique point in history, one where a charismatic young firebrand could pull liberals and progressive together and kick Papa Joe Gray Cave out of the White House and make serious change, including reforming SCOTUS, getting rid of the Electoral College (you know, so every vote is equal--so radical!), UBI, the Green New Deal, and other actually good notions/legislation, not the legislation dipshits like Jeffries insists we should like because "hey, we only caved 50% on the IRA! We didn't cave totally there! Love us! Love ussssssssssssssssssssss!"
- Did I mention Biden is going to lose 4 million votes with this? How many votes do you think he has already lost due to his continual caving to the fossil fuel death industry? Another 4 mil? He beat the Orange Ass Boil by 7 million. By my reckoning, his bullshit, his caving, is going to cost him the election, and this nation will literally cease to exist after that. Fun times!
- But hey, I need to vote for him because he's a Democrat, right? Or ... he's our only option. Right? I need to vote for him to stave off out-and-out fascism, right? Fuck you, Chester.
- Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
- And while I'm at it, fuck you, Biden. I want my money back, and the countless hours I spent canvassing for you.
Rant finis.

I started on the .25 and it did really nothing for me. Then got on the 0.5 and it started working a bit. 1.0 started working better. Never had any side effects other than occasional nausea. Now, I’m on the 1.7, and I’ve been suffering from what I think is fatigue. I just have a weird feeling in my head. I don’t feel week or sick, but when I’m laying down, I constantly feel like I could just pass out. Almost like a dizzy/tired feeling.
Has anybody else experienced this? And is “fatigue” the right word? I’m trying to figure out if it’s a side effect, or if there’s something else wrong with me lol.

Story Brief: I play a chaotic evil character, rest of the party tries to abandon and murder me on sight, then blames me for being everything wrong with chaotic evil when I defend myself.
Yeah.
This was a very long time ago on a play-by-post site that you've never heard of; I think the site was called mydndgame.com? I checked, but that domain is up for sale as of the time of this writing so if that's what it was it sure didn't last very long. With the story I'm about to relay to you, I can't help but imagine why that might be!
I am uncertain how this party came to be but we were a group of five, all apparently some flavor of autist. The campaign was in the Dalelands of Toril (I think that's right?) and we were all starting at level two. The party composition was a human ranger, a half-orc bard/barbarian (bardbarian!), a dwarf paladin, and my character was a human wilder. For those unfamiliar: wilders are the charisma version of the psion in the same way sorcerers are to wizards, except that wilders are actually really good as you'll learn later.
Our first quest was to clear out a den of orcs who have been doing Generic Evil Bad Guy Things to our starting town. Knowing the reputation that chaotic evil characters tend to have I laid my intentions on the table very early in an attempt to allay concerns. Ashley was chaotic because I want to take the Pyrokineticist prestige class and Evil because she just really likes burning shit. Seeing as I rolled very well on my mental stats (int 16, wis 15, cha 19; the GM was using 2d8+6, IDK why) I felt that Ashley would be very friendly, amicable, and also neurotically aware of her situation. In her own words: "I can burn human villages and be hunted as a villain, or burn orc villages and be paid as a hero. The choice is obvious; we're having barbeque porkchops tonight!" The players acknowledged this and seemed to be mildly enthusiastic.
Thus we get to the actual roleplay.
We keep it simple, start in a tavern and introduce our PCs. The bardbarian and dwarf are having a drunken arm wrestling contest and regaling each other with tales of their machismo ("I once suplexed a polar bear off a cliff!" "Reminds me of that time I gave my coat to an orphan girl and had to walk through a blizzard for eight hours warmed only by the celestial hearth of my god!"). The ranger and I enter town from opposite angles and meet up at the bowyer's shop; he's buying a bow while I am having my crossbow repaired after I got a little overenthusiastic with my last Fire Ray. The ranger is immediately distrustful of my wilder; I don't know why, but "grizzled ranger wilderness man" is such a classic trope I don't think much of it and we end up entering the tavern together.
Shortly after we are all in the same ingame space together, a big ol' royal guardsman or soldier or somesuch enters the tavern and calls for mercenaries. The others answer the call, while my wilder listens from the corner given that she's not best friends with the law. We are told of the orcs and the troubles they are causing on the road, and that parties who like gold and killing orcs ought to prepare to embark with him in the morning. Yeah, I thought; Ashley likes both of those things -- one is a good target for fire, and the other buys resources she can use to make more fire. I feel Ashley is not likely to volunteer without her weapons on her -- she wouldn't be taken seriously! -- so I narrate how I'll wait an hour for repairs to be completed and approach the group then, since we have until morning.
Ashley goes to get her crossbow, returns -- and the party is gone. So much for waiting until the morning.
I make some quick Gather Information checks (I had the intelligence so I sprinkled cross-class ranks into K:nobility and various social skills) to figure out what happened, then set off at a brisk hustle to follow.
Upon catching up with the party, the ranger immediately fires an arrow at my wilder.
Ranger: [to the party] "Heh, can never be too careful." Wilder: [hiding behind a tree] "Whoa mate, check your eyes; I am not an orc!" Ranger: "Just because you're not an orc doesn't mean you're friendly!" Bardbarian: "She could be a highwayman, be careful." Wilder: "We met in town, remember? I was the one who suggested yew for your bow!" Ranger: "If you're friendly, why are you hiding? Show yourself!" Wilder: [Comes out with hands up; pointless gesture since I can kill people with my brain, but they don't know that yet] Dwarf: "I use detect evil." Wilder: [Is evil! And also has her imp patron following her without being aware of it!] Dwarf: "She's evil. Get her and her demon friend!" Wilder: "Wait, why is Char here? According to my backstory he- WHOA!"
Ashley is wearing a chain shirt, has 17 dexterity, and won initiative so she has her buckler out and is using Total Defense so her AC is... high. She danmaku-grazes through two sling bullets, an arrow, and two darts.
Wilder: "Please calm down! I just want to kill orcs with you and get paid!" Dwarf: "We don't work with evil people!"
Another round of Touhou dodging ensues.
GM: "Round three. Ashley's turn." Wilder: "I said CALM THE FUCK DOWN!"
I activate my Wild Surge and expend my psionic focus on my Psionic Shot feat and launch my Fire Ray at the ranger's bow. 5d6+5 damage.
Ranger: "You bitch! I knew you were bad news the moment I met you!"
They keep fighting...
I down them all in a single shot each. Including the level six NPC guardsman who attempted to intervene once it became clear that the party couldn't roll above a fifteen to save their lives. I suggest to the GM that the fire cauterized their wounds so none of them are actually dying, but he's a very RAW person and declines while pointing out that I was throwing entire virtual fistfuls of d6s. The entire party ends up bleeding out because -- surprise -- the chaotic evil character didn't think to put any ranks in Treat Injury. Ashley gave the fallen PCs the most respectful sendoff she knew -- burning their bodies in a massive forest fire -- while speculatively wondering how that scene could have proceeded differently and not at all subtly hinting to the GM to rewind so we could take the scene again from the top.
The response to this was to start making the usual noises and ALL-CAPS POSTS about how I'm an edgelord and chaotic evil PCs should never be allowed and I'm terrible and awful for destroying their equipment and getting mad when they attempted to blah blah blah. I don't need to tell you what they said. I was just astonished, refreshing the page throughout the day as they rant and rave, all the while thinking to myself "I have Asperger's syndrome and even I can read the social cues better than these nutters."
They weren't even good roleplayers. I was throwing out paragraphs and they were writing two-liners. The ranger didn't even end his posts with periods. So when I refreshed the page and found I was banned from the game, I couldn't help but sigh in relief. What could I have even said to these people to justify myslef? "It's what my character would have done?" Because it actually wasn't; I was trying my damnedest to hold her back in spite of all possible reason to go full bore on the strangers trying to murder her!
I'd still love to play Ashley again sometime. I think she has a lot of potential as a character to explore what it means to be evil, how evil is often perceived by others, and how even good people can work with evil in pursuit of a greater goal.

Here’s hoping I can change your life but if not, at least you’ll get something out of it.
I’m Carter. A 32 year old guy from Australia has just moved back here after living in NYC for a few years.
When I’m not singing along (obnoxiously loudly) to songs like I Want it that Way by the Backstreet Boys, you’ll find me on a run, working out, working or watching The Office reruns. My optometrist says I should wear my glasses all the time but I do it maybe 20% of the time - if you like bad boys, I’m your guy 😉 In a constant mental struggle between putting my head down trying to climb the corporate ladder and running away to live in a log cabin in the middle of Canada.
If you’re looking for someone who can change a tyre while only getting slightly annoyed, parallel park on the first try most of the time, spells words like ‘colour’ with an a U in the correct place, is like the complete opposite of a handyman, someone who says they will grow their hair long but then get sick of it and chop it all off… then I may be your dream guy.
I am looking for someone to chat with (open to voice and video but let’s just start with good old text chats). I want to know what makes you tick. A conversation packed with sarcasm and a sprinkle of existential dread. I’m not sure exactly where this goes long term but I’d hope you stick around for more than 24 hours. I also don’t mind where you’re from - anywhere goes - I love learning what a day looks like where you are and maybe we’ll really hit it off! I just want someone I’m excited to chat to and vice versa! Bonus points if you’re also happy to talk some sense into me when I go to buy things I don’t need online.
Short term let’s distract each other from the monotony of day to day life. Bring some excitement to each other.
I find it easiest to get to know someone through people who already know them. Here’s some testimonials:
“Wouldn’t know a hard days work if it hit him in the face but boy can he fix a computer.” - Pop
“Tell your internet friends you’re a sweet and handsome young man.” - Grandma
“He’s the best. He plays games with me.” - Nephew (5)
If you’ve read this far and don’t think I’m too crazy, send a message or chat and let’s talk! Take care and stay safe.

Here’s hoping I can change your life but if not, at least you’ll get something out of it.
I’m Carter. A 32 year old guy from Australia has just moved back here after living in NYC for a few years.
When I’m not singing along (obnoxiously loudly) to songs like I Want it that Way by the Backstreet Boys, you’ll find me on a run, working out, working or watching The Office reruns. My optometrist says I should wear my glasses all the time but I do it maybe 20% of the time - if you like bad boys, I’m your guy 😉 In a constant mental struggle between putting my head down trying to climb the corporate ladder and running away to live in a log cabin in the middle of Canada.
If you’re looking for someone who can change a tyre while only getting slightly annoyed, parallel park on the first try most of the time, spells words like ‘colour’ with an a U in the correct place, is like the complete opposite of a handyman, someone who says they will grow their hair long but then get sick of it and chop it all off… then I may be your dream guy.
I am looking for someone to chat with (open to voice and video but let’s just start with good old text chats). I want to know what makes you tick. A conversation packed with sarcasm and a sprinkle of existential dread. I’m not sure exactly where this goes long term but I’d hope you stick around for more than 24 hours. I also don’t mind where you’re from - anywhere goes - I love learning what a day looks like where you are and maybe we’ll really hit it off! I just want someone I’m excited to chat to and vice versa! Bonus points if you’re also happy to talk some sense into me when I go to buy things I don’t need online.
Short term let’s distract each other from the monotony of day to day life. Bring some excitement to each other.
I find it easiest to get to know someone through people who already know them. Here’s some testimonials:
“Wouldn’t know a hard days work if it hit him in the face but boy can he fix a computer.” - Pop
“Tell your internet friends you’re a sweet and handsome young man.” - Grandma
“He’s the best. He plays games with me.” - Nephew (5)
If you’ve read this far and don’t think I’m too crazy, send a message or chat and let’s talk! Take care and stay safe.

This an personal observation I made while dealing with my nmom who is in her 40s. I feel so stupid that it's only now I'm starting to see her antics and understand who she is, when I'm barely 23.
Today, She glorified her eating disorder by making a small oatmeal breakfast and expects me to not wana eat a big lunch like a a medium bowl of tomatoe soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.
Apparently wanting to eat something with protein is a cardinal sin to her, because I will look too "bulky and people will think bad of her". I make my own oatmeal or whatever breakfast i want, which she hates because she can't 100% control how I make it.
She calls me a fatass for wanting a snack (a fucking gogurt) 4 hours before dinner time cuz apparently, I need to "earn it" by either not eating lunch or not eating breakfast.
Why? because food is expensive and is only there for guests. Her words, not mine.
Not that our dinner is even that filling anyway. It's just as bad as breakfast.
She talks about how she can eat just 1000 calories a day, and how I can be the same.
Anytime she can't 100% control wa I eat, mainly cuz I have ways around that, she loses her shit.
This is also a women who literally got told by my younger sisters pediatrician that she needs to gain more weight as she is really underweight, thanks to my mom. Anytime a doctor would point anything out, she would switch doctors and not take her for check ups. My mom bragged to me that the fact my sister is considered "underweight" and " need to take serious action" means she is "healthy and healing" from the chemicals.
I hate that I can't save my sister from her antics, my younger sister fully thinks my mom is right and thinks I am the one with an eating disorder because I actually want to have more than 1,500 calories a day. Going to school, going to work and exercising is gona need a lot more than that, that's just how it is for me.
The only real way I can get away from her obsessions is by dorming, but despite applying for it asap in the semester, I'm on a waitlist and most likely won't be approved for it. I pray I will be able to escape in a year if I am lucky. 🙏

My son,5 ASD, has issues. It's being worked on. He is in therapy from multiple sources and he seems to have good days and bad days. Well, things have been crazy at home due to my mother in law being in the hospital and returning.
My son craves my attention and hates it when I leave. My mother in law pointed out today that it is probably because I give my son so much love and positive attention. I also spend the bulk of my non work time with him. My husband works from home and can't really interact with him when our son is home. My son knows this.
He's been throwing temper tantrums. They last very briefly but he might throw something. It's never at people. His hitting has significantly decreased and we are helping him find the words to help him. To give you an idea about his throwing, he threw something at daycare but looked around to make sure nobody was where he was going to throw it before he did.
Anyway, after a while my husband starts to yell. I must admit, I started doing that too but only because things have been so stressful. However our son complies immediately to whatever we ask.
My husband things the Behavior therapist at the intermediary unit has no ideas how to help and he thinks we have tried everything and now we need to be forceful. My son is also willful and stubborn.
My husband is worried about the potential trajectory of his behaviors. I actually think he is getting better but he has off days and with some many changes, is adjusting.
Once I am home for the summer I will see.

Im gonna start this off by saying that Ranboo done such a good job with the first generation of genloss, the 3rd day was a complete 180 and caught me off guard comparing it to the other 2 days. If you're somehow reading this Ranboo, you should be proud :D now on to the theories.
It wasn't ranboo that was being tested, in the end it was us, the chat, the people canonicaly watching the 'show'.
Day 1 used a lot of camera angles a children's TV show would and censored blood with slime, possibly as a way of (canonicaly) allowing younger audiences to watch the show without realising how dangerous the tasks/challenges actually are or showing how much danger the characters are in, and instead replacing it with comedy. This shows that from the beginning of day 1 there was clear hints that it was all a TV show of some kind within the genloss universe.
There is no trailer for day 3, this could be because the trailers were made for the audience within the generation loss universe that isn't chat, and since Ranboo figured out the truth at the end of day 2, day 3 would be traumatising for any audience outside of chat to watch and know that real people died for the show, meaning that the day 3 episode probably doesn't exist, or at least not to the general public like the other 2 days were, (maybe there was an elite few who were able to see and vote for to kill or keep Ranboo alive).
It was said that the characters within the show were programmed, meaning that anyone within the company (or anyone kidnapped for the show) could become one of the on screen characters and have their memories rewritten to suit whatever style of show they want for different seasons/days.
At the very end the VHS tape is the only one that is labelled and placed in the fiveth spot. This could show that we got ending five or that this happened in the past and is chronologically the fiveth season.
Lastly my favourite thing I noticed/theory is that As the name suggests genloss could have just been a social experement to see how the genloss public would react if given different options with seemingly no negative consequences to the real people. Also to add to this point, Ranboo's mask directly links to how we saw the show, when it was flashing red it was on and we saw the show as if it was childish challenges with slime however when it was off, we saw the reality of what was happening, Ranboo's mask turned off after they realised that it was a show however it was lit was flashing red during the final choice showing that they might not have been in control of what they were saying and/or we weren't seeing what actually happened. This means there is a possibility that the end could have been way more gruesome or it could be a complete lie and Ranboo is still alive, allowing for a sequel.

I took my middle two kids camping this weekend. A gal asked how many kids I have. I told her four. It's true. My ex and I share them all. Except our youngest (long story) we chose adoption for because of complex medical needs, we lived in poverty, we were going through divorce, etc. Anyways, she started questioning where all of my kids were and it was just... Weird. "Well where is your 15 year old? And five year old? Are they home alone?" Why would it matter? I don't know. I just said at home with dad even though my youngest is with his adoptive family. I just don't feel like explaining it out. My kids love sharing and it's how it came up, because they love to say how many siblings they have and it's not so awkward for them. Sometimes I don't always include my youngest in how many I have because for some reason people then need to know where they live. Like why does it matter so much to understand that? Idk. Is it bad to not always divulge adoption?

Pretty self-explanatory; I’m making a list out of Alex g songs!!! Starting with the first letter A obviously (not including unreleased + winner songs unless it’s required)
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During my school years I would read a lot of horror anthologies aimed at kids or young adult readers. Most of them I'd get from the school library, and while there are some with stories that I strongly remember, I don't remember the names of any of the books. This is one such book where I don't remember the contents very well except for the last story. Here's what I remember of it:
The story was presented as a letter written by the narrator, an adult man who was sharing a horrible experience that happened to him when he was in school. His teacher at the time was a mean woman that some people said was a witch. He started to say bad things about her, and this caught her attention. To punish him, she cast a curse on him, so that when he said or wrote anything bad about her, he would turn into an exact duplicate of her. She was an ugly old woman, so this was a horrible experience for him. I don't remember the method he had to undertake to turn back to normal, but it was something he was able to do. She then would force him to do things for her, and he wasn't able to tell anyone or else he would turn into her.
The story ended with the narrator revealing that she had recently died, and the whole reason he was writing this all out was because now he could finally share the horrors he endured without suffering from the curse. But when he finished his letter and sent it out (I think onto the internet), he was horrified to discover that he had still transformed into her- only now, since she was dead, he transformed into her rotting skeletal remains. He wept in horror, knowing that since she was gone there was no way he could ever return to normal.
Trying to find this story or the collection it was located in has been difficult. I believe I read this collection sometime in the 2003-2006 range, and the use of the Internet in that story makes me think it was published either in the 90s or the early 2000s. I don't recall any of the other stories in the collection, except for one, which I believe was based on the true story of the Green Man of Pennsylvania. Of course, that could've been in a different collection, since I read a lot of these when I was younger. If anyone knows what collection this story is from, I'd be happy to hear it.

Human Dave: "Captain, it's going to rain soon, so can we see if these guys are willing to hurry up with the unloading of their cargo?"
Alien Captain: "Human Dave, there is not a cloud in the sky. And, besides, it is their cargo, and if they wish to take such a sedate pace with unloading, I cannot do very much about it."
HD: "Captain, the ship can't fly through a storm. I should know; I'm the one that has to fix the old girl when she breaks down."
AC: "Human Dave, did you just refer to my ship as 'the old girl'?"
HD: "Yes, Captain."
AC: "Human Dave, my ship already has a designation."
HD: "Captain. Naming a ship 'Ship' is no better than not naming it at all."
AC: "It is a perfectly adequate designation."
HD: "Captain, no offence, but you Cradelians really need to learn to give names that are more imaginative."
AC: "It is a holdover from our previous world state, Human Dave. With little resources, we did not have the need to think of fanciful designations for ourselves or the things we built."
HD: "Still, can we try to hurry them up? We'll be stuck here until the storm stops, and that'll make us late for the Stalqa shipment. And you full well know that Mill'tk'ana never forgave us for beating him in that eating competition. Even if he did have more heads than any of the other competitors."
AC: "Once again, Human Dave, there is not a single cloud in the sky. How can you even know that it will storm anytime soon?"
HD: "I can smell the moisture in the air, Captain. And I can feel the static on my skin. There's a storm coming, and it'll be a bad one."
AC: "Come now, Human Dave. How bad could it be?"
...
HD: "..."
AC: "..."
HD: "... didn't I tell you?"
AC: "..."
HD: "I told you it would be bad, Captain."
AC: "Yes! You told me, Human Dave. And I am well aware that I did not listen!"
Thunder booms out as a deluge of rain floods the landscape.
The cargo bay doors of the shipyard are firmly shut to keep out the large amounts of water that threaten to flood the interior of the building.
HD: "Just wanted you to know that I did warn you, Captain."
AC: "... smugness is unbecoming of you, Human Dave."
The other people in the shipyard have sequestered themselves within their own ships, or behind bulkhead doors, as the group of Aflarrians all meander around Human Dave and Captain.
HD: "At least we had the good sense to warn everyone else that we had Aflarrians on board. They've all been cooped up on the ship for far too long."
AC: "I agree."
Minnie lifts her head, and starts waddling towards a set of stairs, nimbly hopping up them towards the access door that leads to the roof of the building.
HD: "Minnie? What's wrong, girl?"
Minnie responds with a squeaky trill, and scratches at the door with her claws.
HD: "You want to go outside?"
Minnie makes a happy squeak.
HD: "Uhh... okay, but it's raining outside. You'll get all wet."
Minnie responds by making more trilling sounds.
HD: "Okay, fine. But, just know that if you end up sneezing because you caught a cold, it will be entirely your fault."
Human Dave climbs up the stairs, with five Aflarrians following him.
Human Dave opens the door to the roof, and all six Aflarrians race outside.
Captain follows Human Dave up the stairs, and is met by a most baffling sight.
Human Dave and Captain watch as the Aflarrians start playing in the water that has pooled on the roof; chasing each other, rolling around in the water, and swiping a paw into the pooled water to splash one another.
HD: "..."
AC: "..."
HD: "...I didn't even know they liked playing in the water so much. They hate it when I'm bathing them."
AC: "I have seen you bathing them, Human Dave, and even I am baffled by the sight before me."
HD: "Maybe it's the temperature of the water? It's not too warm, but it's not cold either."
AC: "The temperature of the water is close enough to the temperature that you bathe them in. Perhaps it is the amount?"
HD: "Well, that seems a fair assumption, Captain. Can't really make it rain inside the ship, since we have limited amounts of it stored on the ship. I'll see about finding some planets or something that have frequent rainstorms, and see if any are on our flight plans. It'll be good to have them stretch their legs every so often."
AC: "I concor, Human Dave."
The cameras pointed to the roof show the scenes to all the shipyard staff, who watch with morbid fascination from behind the bulkhead doors.
Shipyard Head: "... that Cradelian Captain must truly be brave to allow himself to be so close to those apex predators."
Shipyard Crew 1: "That human appears to be of a similar disposition. I do not understand how they can be so close to those predators, and not fear for their lives."
They shipyard staff watch as Human Dave runs out into the rain, starts splashing the Aflarrians with water, and begins to run laughing as they begin to chase after him.
SH: "Is that human insane? He will be killed!"
The shipyard staff watch as Max catches up to Human Dave's and latches onto his ankle, which gives the rest of them the opportunity to climb onto Human Dave's body, and bring him to the ground.
Human Dave hits the ground, grabs one that climbed onto his head, and begins to stroke its belly, which causes it to squirm in delight, and climb down from Human Dave.
Another clambers onto his head, and is given the same treatment as the first.
Once they have all received their share of scritches, they lay down in the rain, squirming happily as the rain falls down on their bodies.
Human Dave lays with them, not minding that he is getting drenched as well.
AC: "Human Dave, are you alright?"
HD: "Fine, Captain. Come out here; the water's great!"
AC: "I believe that I will let you and the Aflarrians enjoy yourselves while I try to convince the shipyard staff to finish unloading their cargo. Since you all are up here, maybe they will be more inclined to hurry through their work."
HD: "I'll give you a heads up when the Aflarrians have finished with their fun."
AC: "That would be most appreciated, Human Dave."