This is somehow a life story of mine, but written as how other ballers would have it. None the less, them ballers couldn't read beyond this point. News Break. This is for music - Congratulations to anyone able to establish a sentence at family dinner at this point. I once wrote a story to some mail. The passage of lines is somehow imprinted on my body. However if I explain myself they will know what mail it was - and ya damn right im gonna reject each one.
In spite of that !! This is Reddit, and, so for me and all my Redditors mind im gonna write this in the english wording i know. I am not gonna be looking back at spelling mistakes for whatever. As im fair new to music. I know only a danish few musicians who have been able to elevate their level of music to the world scene. Where as I might be unaware of the smaller musicians from Denmark making it all the way, im fairly familiar Lukas Graham, Outlandish, Aqua, Martin Jensen and so on. As a Scandinavian Avicii will forever be in our hearts - this is how we fell about him - even danes. Alright, Avicii, brought my attention to a specific genre of music. Which I have ever since known as EDM. However, as tunes and music are evolving, so should the festivals. Having no knowledge about Swedish or Norwegian festivals, I did not keep my hopes keeping going upwards. I did fall in love with music, and EDM was more and more special to me, however I have some questions to the EDM(or) maybe not? As I have never been able to identify whats edm(?) and whats just popular remix's of good songs?
I would highlight my qustion: Whats edm(?) and whats just popular remix's of good songs?

For legal purposes I will take out some sensitive info.
My friend got caught vaping in the plane bathroom and triggered the silent alarm, which just basically alerts the crew and pilots, not the whole plane.
When my friend went in, within 5 seconds he unzipped started urinating and reached in his pocket to grab his vape so he can try to sleep for the rest of the ride.. The smoke detector, which looks like a vent lol, beeped quietly 3 times. He really thinks it could have been the prior person, as he smelled the odor before even entering the bathroom + the silent alarm went off literally within 3 seconds of him peeing. He said his urine barely hit the water before the guy came barging in (by the way is that even legal? No idea how he opened a locked door)
Literally, and I mean literally, within 3 seconds the door started violently shaking and a male flight attendant (seemed a more senior level, he was wearing a suit type outfit) is furious and yelling all this scary legal jargon. Meanwhile, friend is in panic and shock, first at the fact he's still peeing, and the fact that he has a vape in his pocket. The attendant says to show him what he has, a vape battery or something with actual fire/lighter...and my friend stupidly in panic showed him it that he just had a vape in his pocket, and it wasn't a lighter or anything with fire.
Friend comes out, and attendant basically just scares the shit out of him and demands seat number. He give it to him right away and he says to go get seated and he'll be right there.
He comes back 10 min later with a small yellow slip of paper that says "notice to cease objectionable and illegal behavior" After reading it thoroughly, he was relieved because this notice officially confirmed its just a warning. The last sentence states "failure to cease such behavior may result in removal from this aircraft ...blabla...and/or civil penalties, imprisonment, or ban from future travel". Reading this, he just had enough and didn't want to deal with it anymore, and wanted to take the warning seriously and move on and not be stupid again in the future, so he threw away his vape cartridges. (this is important for later)
Friend's anxiety and paranoia is at peak level at this point, so he throws away the vape cartridges into a beer can he ordered earlier in-flight. so he can breathe and get to his work trip with a clear mind.
The same attendant came to pick up trash and make sure to come to my friends seat. When he was collecting trash, the beer can made a rattle noise as it was going into the trash bag.
Fast-forward... Deboarding the plane...the worst is waiting. 1 officer, 1 rep from the airline, the captain, the attendant, and another person. Guess what, they pulled out a Ziploc baggy with the 2 cartridges in it... Then they stated that my friend "handed" the cartridges to the attendant.
This is not true, the only way the attendant had these cartridges was by digging thru the trash in the back.
A part of me thought, maybe they will say hey, these cartridges definitely belong to you because they were in that beer can, and only you ordered that beer that flight. But is this proof that it was actually being vaped? Throwing away vape cartridges isn't admittance of actually vaping is it?
After about 20 minutes, my friend stuck to his guns and did not admit it was him and states he did not hand the attendant the cartridges. In fact, he asked "did you find that in that trash?" (He did). And also asked "did you open a locked bathroom door?" (He did). To which the attendant replied "I don't need to respond to a some kid who sucks on vapes all the time" (friend is epileptic and has high anxiety disorder, requires CBD and anticonvulsant meds so prevent seizures. He was just dumb bc he used the vape and not like an edible or tincture/oil)
The officer was extremely nice, and said likely nothing will happen. The attendant said "they are going to press charges" but I don't know if he was serious, bc he also told me I am going to be fined $25,000...anyone could tell his main objective was solely to scare the living shit out of my friend for no reason...a blind person could see that.
The only information they took from was a picture of his driver's license and said we can go.
He went to bathroom to unleash panic attack, debrief, And throw up ...
Then, walking to ground transport, we saw the same officer walking around.
Friend had a change of heart He went over and said thank you for being kind and apologized for wasting time. He asked if he can rest easy, and officer said they won't be pursuing anything, but definitely could if they wanted.
It doesn't make sense to me that a massive company like this would go out of its way to ruin a young stupid kids life...I think you scared the living shit out of him enough already.
Anyone know if my friend will be ok? Anyone been in a similar situation? Anyone know if my friend will receive a subpoena or legal letter in the mail a few weeks from now (that's what he's most stressed about rn). He has 0 dui, felonies, misdemeanors, or even a traffic ticket lol. Works hard too.
Tldr; Friend caught vaping on plane bathroom. Denied it and said it could have been any previous persons, (there was indeed a decent line for either of the 2 lavatories). Threw away 2 vape cartridges when they were collecting trash, (later we found this was pointless, as possession of the cartridges was not the problem, it was the act of vaping them). they dug it out the cartridges out of trash and claimed we handed it to them. Police officer said we'd be fine, but airline rep only spit out threats.
Who can we believe and what can we expect?
Already feel like shit and friend def won't be vaping on planes anymore. Id appreciate sharings of any similar experience or some words of advice.
Tbh think friend will be fine and just still in panic mode but who knows.
P.s. we really don't mind about a no fly ban with the airline, or like a small fine....but that male attendant and also the airline rep were talking crazy. Mentioned like "pressing charges", "federal crime", "jail time", "prosecution" and "writing reports and subpoenas" "$25k fine"...when he know full well my friend already learned the lesson jeez. What were mainly concerned about is any sort of permanent/ criminal legal repercussions, and how likely is that?

Question: If April flowers bring May showers, what do May flowers bring?
Answer: Puritans and misery.
Part 1 - May Flower Moon
I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure this is a ghost story. It all started in early May under the, "Flower Moon".
In the still of the night, I awoke from a deep sleep to witness a moonlight so spectacular it hurt my eyes.
Fumbling for my glasses, I found them, dropped them, cursed, then almost stepped on them. I finally got them where they belonged thinking I needed to use the bathroom. I glanced at the digital clock on my desk.
3:33 am. Again.
Willow weep for me
Bend your branches down along the ground and cover me
-Ann Ronell as sung by Billie Holiday
The birds were chirping loudly. I shuffled to the window. I looked up wide-eyed at the sky. There was the moon; big, round and golden like it didn't mind a big electricity bill. As I used the bathroom, I remember thinking that I didn't ever remember a full moon so bright it could light up my apartment.
I washed my hands then splashed warm water on my face. I cracked my neck. I dried my hands and face with a towel. I remember thinking if I didn't get back to sleep the day was going to suck.
Shuffling back into my bedroom I thought to look for my ski hat. I figured I could pull it over my eyes and escape the light under the blanket. Flower Moon was beautiful but so too is sleep. If I could just hide under the blanket perhaps it wasn't too late for sleep to creep up on me.
I have been renting the same sunny shoebox in old Brooklyn for more than 20 years. It's a corner apartment on the second floor of a 19th century walkup. Across the street, diagonally resides a community garden fronted by a very tall and expansive weeping willow tree that won't let me move away. I didn't know it's age until recently. But it's younger than me. Most things are these days.
I shuffled to the corner window to squeeze the blinds tight and that's when I felt grateful, grateful I had decided to use the bathroom first.
There, at the base of the hundred-foot-tall willow, behind the wrought iron fence, illuminated beneath the moon's glow, I witnessed something that froze my blood and tested my aging bladder. Standing beneath the moonlight, I saw, clear as day, a little boy in footed pajamas with a trap door. The little boy was holding a blue stuffed Grover Muppet in one hand and crying.
Trying to get a good look at the boy was like trying to look at something from behind a campfire. There was a shimmering distortion. What I could clearly see was that he was pointing down at the ground in front of his feet with the non-Grover hand. Suddenly, the little boy spun his head up and around looking directly at me. Eye contact occurred and then too, something I can't explain.
First, a truck transporting fuel broke loudly for the red light at the corner. Through the open windows I smelled what seemed like diesel. I grew light-headed. The room spun around. I remember thinking this feeling smelled both nauseating as well as timeless.
I reached down to try and pick up the floor and that's when it hit me in the face. A sharp pain across my cheek like I had been slapped in a 3 Stooges short. I felt icy fingers grab the hair I had not had in over 30 years and jerk my head back. I smelled more diesel. I grabbed the edge of the desk to keep from losing my balance.
Holding on to the desk, I noticed my mind's eye was playing the little boy's face like a movie. The camera panned in. His little boy face filled my consciousness like I was watching from the front row. He was about four or five years old with long dirty blonde hair. His face looked familiar from a dream.
Then, another slapping pain turned my last good cheek. Losing my balance, I fell ass first to the floor.
Out the window, from on my ass, I watched the traffic light turn green. I heard the truck lurch into gear, rev it's engine then drive away. As it rumbled off into the distance my equilibrium returned.
Muttering my life sucked I gently shook my head and felt for damage. Just my non-existent pride. I got myself vertical, yet once again; feeling a distinct twinge of anxiety.
I looked out the window but the little boy was gone. An FDNY ambulance took his place, it's siren jarring me back to reality. I closed the blinds and got under the blanket. I never did really get back to sleep that night. Or ever since.
Part II - Unhappily Ever Since
Sad as I can be Hear me willow and weep for me... -Billie I keep seeing a little boy under the tree... - me ...
The first thing I want to say is that I keep waking up for decades at exactly 3:33 am.
It's the exact time my decrepit birth certificate claims I was introduced to this world. Can't say why, but ever since digital clocks became a thing, I'm up more often than not to witness 3:33 am transpire. Never remember it happening before digital.
One of my friends recently told me it was an angel number. I don't know anything about angels. Never met one. But I for sure have met some demons in my day. In fact. you might say I was born of demon mother, and I might not be offended. Back to my birth certificate. I was born and yes, still live in Brooklyn, New York. There were gaps but it's my home.
I moved to this particular apartment building a few months after 9/11. I had moved in with a woman at the tail end of doing a romantic nickel, but that fell apart like Madoff, Abramoff or Fuckoff, and she married another dude a year later. So, there in 2002, I and my faithful golden retriever, Spenser, found ourselves, for the very first time, on our own. And, we liked it.
Like I mentioned, Spenser and I lived diagonal to a community garden that fronts a big and beautiful weeping willow tree. I felt an immediate kinship as my favorite book as a child had been, "The Giving Tree" and that's what she reminded me of; only more beautiful.
There will be more about the tree. Anyway, the tree and I dwell in an old part of south Brooklyn called Park Slope, infamous for being the stomping grounds of a young Al Capone, and, believe it or not, young me.
That was a long time ago. Things have changed a lot since Al and I, were separately roaming the streets of Park Slope, looking for adventure and whatever came our way. I came up in the day when if you cried your mother would give you something to cry about. And, not going to lie, I cried a lot. I don't remember my dad that much.
I remember he was a hippie. I remember he had a big beard and moustache and long hair. I remember his denim jacket was always cold, smelling like weed and cigarettes. I remember he gave me, "The Giving Tree" and taught me how to read it. And then, I remember he was; gone. Just. Gone.
I also remember my mother. I remember her never talking much. I remember her just smelling like hair spray, cigarettes and instant coffee with sour milk. I never was able to drink milk, not even as a child, and to this very day just the sight of a milk carton turns my stomach to acid.
I lived alone with the old lady about half a mile from where I live now. Yeah, in over thirty years I made it a whole thirteen blocks. Like I said, my pride was non-existent these days unless I was sitting on it. Another, weird thing besides waking up at 3:33 am is I have a lot of memory lapses. It has been getting worse the last few years. Especially, since old Spenser had a seizure in my arms back on the 9/11 of '09. He was fifteen and my best friend. I'd always loved dogs. But after losing Spenser, I couldn't quite remember things right all the time.
Sometimes, it was little things. Like did I turn off the stove or lock the front door. Other times, it was deep things, like did the telephone repair man try to do something to me when I was five and left home alone. Like did I pull a kitchen knife on him before he scampered out like a thief in the night; scared he'd be caught by my screams for Batman? Did I remember my mother having strange guests over late at night? Did I remember being locked in my room? I just couldn't remember anymore.
I had taken to obsessively keeping lists. But you can't put ghost-busting on a list, can you? And that was my real problem. Ever since, the May Flower Moon the haunting just kept rinsing and repeating. Eat edibles, Nyquil, and Advil PM and still wake up at 3:33am. Smell diesel. Wave of nausea. Little boy in garden. Little boy crying. Little boy pointing at something. Little boy looking up at me. Little boy. Little boy. Little boy.
By last Friday, I was a mess.
My work is suffering. I am too embarrassed to tell my aunt or besties I see a little boy. They already think I am weird enough and last thing I need is a wellness check.
To remain scientific, I have continued my daytime visits to the garden whenever it is open. Everything seems so lovely in the day. I even brought the new woman I am seeing. She fell in love with the tree at first sight. The flowers are gorgeous. And the roses; so mesmerizing. Even the fish in the koi pond are happy.
But at night. Something isn't right.
...Weeping willow tree Weeping sympathy Bend your branches down along the ground and cover me Listen to me plead Hear me willow and weep for me...
My new friend at work I mentioned, who told me about angel numbers, asked me recently if something was bothering me. She told me when we met, she is in the midst of a spiritual awakening.
Part of it includes awakening every morning to read the Tarot cards and commune with who, or what, she calls, "spirit".
I cracked and told her about the little boy under the tree. She didn't bat an eye. She told me spirit wants something from me. I didn't know what to say to that so I just left it alone. I guess I'm afraid what if she's right. And what if I don't like what, "spirit" wants?
Last night was Saturday. I had a dream.
That night I dreamed about a collie I had when I was a very young boy right after my dad split. Her name was Pearl. I had found her on the street on my block and for some inexplicable reason had been allowed to keep her.
Not long after, one hot summer day in Prospect Park, when my mother was going to give me something to cry about, Pearl suddenly ran down the hill she was frolicking on, making a wide sweeping arc that screamed, "ride or die, full throttle, and damn the fucking torpedoes," it's trajectory directly between my mother's legs. Fur overcame flesh just in the nick before I was given something to cry about.
Instead, I laughed.
I laughed so fucking hysterically at the sight of her on the grass, on her ass; smug look gone with the wind; replaced by an expression seething red menace that would have been McCarthy's wet dream.
And, like the little boy at 3:33 am, Pearl's eyes met mine. She seemed to nod her collie head, as if she were acknowledging that, yes, she was the best dog and don't you forget it. I didn't cry much for a while after that till I came home from school and Pearl was gone. Just gone. To some farm I was told. Where she could be happier. So, I guess I did get something to cry about after all.
And then last night I had a dream.
Part III - It weeps for me?
I dreamed of Peter Pan and buried treasure. I dreamed of Stove Stop stuffing and commercials loud enough to drown out a breech birth. I dreamed of Spider-Man letting Uncle Ben's killer go free. I dreamed of being American. I dreamed of Watergate, the fall of the Berlin wall, 9/11 and watching people jump out windows to avoid burning to death out the window of my office.
I dreamed of Iraq and Afghanistan and George Floyd and Covid and never-ending cycles of boom and bust. I dreamed of a golden carrot on what started out as a stick but soon morphed into what I realized was a branch. A long flowing beautiful branch covered in red. A branch that hung low. It swayed along the ground, swayed above my head and there I was.
I was in the garden. Under the tree. I felt drops of warm dew caressing my face. I was about to reach up to caress the tree. My tree. I noticed I was wearing pajamas. Not the black satin jammies I had been wearing for decades but old footie pajamas. They were Star Trek pajamas. With three golden rings on the cuffs and a trap door.
A drop of dew fell in my eye. I wiped it away and looked at my hand. It was red. Red with blood. My Mickey Mouse watch involuntarily color-coordinated with the blood. It appeared to be just after 3:30 am.
Suddenly, a dog appeared. It was Pearl. Then another, it was Spenser. They jammed their snouts into my flannel covered crotch. I pet them both and noticed my tears mixing with the dewy blood drops turning them a soft pink under the moonlight.
"Good boy. Good girl." I said.
"Hi," a voice I recognized but couldn't place said.
I looked around. And there, was, the little boy. And, in his hand was Grover.
"Hi," I heard myself say.
"Who's the dog?" he said.
"That's Pearl. And this is Spenser." I answered.
"I know Pearl, silly. She's my dog," then, "Hi, Spenser."
Spenser left my crotch for the little boy's. They went together like peanut butter and sandwiches.
"Where are your parents?" I heard myself ask.
"Dad left. Mom told me to stay here until she comes back."
"When was that?" I asked.
The little boy shrugged then, "Been a while I guess," and he started to cry. Spenser got agitated and started to whine. I approached. I went to put my hand on the boy's shoulder and he jumped.
"Hey, it's okay." I took my hand back.
He looked up at me. Then he said, "You want to see something?
I said, "Yes."
The little boy fished around in his pajamas and pulled out something, it looked like a piece of rolled up construction paper secured with a red ribbon that matched the bloody dew drops.
He un-scrolled it then solemnly showed it to me.
It appeared to be a child's treasure map. That ended in the garden. Only it wasn't a garden. It said, "JUNK YARD" and there was a big X next to the corner of the rectangle the words were written in. I looked down at him.
"There's no junk yard here, son," I said.
The little boy looked away from Spenser and up at me. Pearl ran to his side. I felt six eyes on me.
"That's what you think," he said
A moment later there was the loud cracking of fireworks being detonated. I awoke in my bed. Fumbling for my glasses, I found them, dropped them, cursed, then almost stepped on them. I finally got them where they belonged thinking I needed to use the bathroom. I glanced at the digital clock on my desk.
3:33 am. Again.
I ran to the window to look out. But, unlike every other time for the past month, the boy was not in residence. He was gone. Just. Gone.
Part IV - The is The End
Gone my lovely dreams To weep my tears along the stream Sad as I can be Hear me willow and weep for me
...
This was fucking ridiculous. I am sane. I am not mad. I'd been reading, "The Giving Tree," too much. Spending too much time alone working from home. Maybe I just needed to get away. Take a trip somewhere.
I realized getting back to sleep was going to be impossible. So, I went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea. No milk.
Back at my desk, my "SHIT. FUCK. DAMN." glass mug of tea firmly in hand, I took a deep breath. There was no point in giving myself a heart attack. Maybe it was just anxiety. Maybe panic attacks. I had dated lots of neurotic women. That could be it. Maybe some Lexapro and I'd be good as new. I decided to check my email.
A woman I used to date from Queens and stayed friends with had sent me a link entitled, "Birth of a community garden." It was video to my garden. Before it was a garden. Over forty years ago. It was a decrepit vacant lot filled with dead cars and refuse and apparently had been a neighborhood drug bazaar. Like I said, things have changed a lot since Al and I were young as springtime.
By the time I moved back you would have never known what things had used to look like. Spray painted signs that read, "NO DRUGS SOLD HERE!" and the like. Just like the Batman, Dark Knight, the 80s were a time when Urban Renewal was striking back. And before you could say, "corruption at City Hall," there was fecund soil where once had stood God knows what.
It gave me hope that humanity wasn't so bad. Maybe I had just been going through a tough time. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead and get a good night's rest. So, I closed the blinds and went to bed.
Why I am never sleeping again
That night I dreamed I was part of the junk yard's saviors. Hauling out decades of festering trash and replacing it with good old Mother Earth. A whole community coming together to commune with nature. I felt myself smile.
All day we hoed the rows. The fecundity of the soil filling my nostrils. There was food and laughter and soon day turned to night. One by one all the gardeners left into the dusk. Soon I stood alone next to a young woman. She held a green army duffle bag. And two shovels.
"You look like a big, strong man. They're going to be planting a weeping willow tree here soon. But first, I wanted to leave the earth a special gift to grow up with the tree. This time I think we should give to the tree. Won't you help me?"
I felt a passing twinge of disgust. I rubbed my upper lip with the back of my hand and thought I smelled the faint smell of diesel. I heard myself say, "Hand me a shovel."
An hour later I had fulfilled the lady's request to deposit the duffel bag deep within the new garden's soil. She lit a cigarette I recognized. She blew some smoke in my face and it smelled like sour milk.
"Ever read a boy and his dog?" she asked.
I nodded.
"This is the opposite," she said. I smelled the diesel again and then remembered no more.
This morning I awoke feeling none too swell. I got my glasses on without dropping them for a change then sort of hobbled to the kitchen area to make some tea. I opened the blinds and there was my weeping willow tree. Swaying gently in the Sunday early June overcast chill.
Implacable. Inscrutable. True to it's nature. The day was gray as a widow's anniversary.
Well, there's always tea, I thought, ever the optimist. And then I dropped my, "SHIT. FUCK. DAMN." mug on my foot, simultaneously battering and scalding it. I let out a yelp.
Then, mouth agape, I smelled the diesel waft in the window by the fire escape. The window, where, leaning against the fire escape's stairs I witnessed something that froze my blood and tested my aging bladder.
I spied two shovels and an empty duffle bag.
I wonder what spirit will have to say about that?
Gone my lovely dreams To weep my tears along the stream Sad as I can be Hear me willow and weep for me
Willow Weep For Me?

I am here for advice but here to vent hoping others can also find a comfort that they're not alone going through something like this
I am not from the US and my culture is different. They are from the US and probably view this differently
When I was younger I was surrogate for a couple that I knew. Ifit matters, the egg was mine and mum to be was not involved. beyond that, she didn't do much to accommodate or interact, she missed some appointments and things despite being available, being seen at bars etc, sometimes both would be unseen and would come and go as they pleased. They cycled between sending me long lists of things to do during pregnancy or telling me to do what I thought best and then sometimes getting mad about it.
Since gender mattered to them, I set a time to tell them about their son in person, but they weren't very pleased. Not exactly angry but as if their hopes had been given up, they had wanted a girl. Not only was I judgmental upon that but I had they didn't know how pregnancy worked, as they began leaning towards the idea that it was my fault. They reminded me of talks they had with family about how We are going to try for a daughter, they cannot wait to see their daughter for the first time. In the beginning I should have seen the red flag, however it did not look like one at the time, I overheard bits and I assumed they were talking hypothetically son/daughtebaby. It was now my fault for not taking all those hints and doing whatever I did to either guarantee or increase the risk of a boy.
We got imaging, they requested 4d, and they got a pretty decent hit of the baby's face, and while I was ecstatic, and expecting them to be, they weren't very pleased. The more we went over it I became confident that they were judging the child and not the technology.
It was at this time as well as another time when a doctor said she was a little concerned for the child that the parents decided there was something wrong with the child, I overheard them, how they think the child is going to be "r-ed", what they're going to do, wondering how bad it's going to be. Now I work in medicine, I understand these concerns, so often people are not able to care for so-and-so or they're concerned about quality of life, but such topics did not come up and it was out of no concern for the child.
There were many personal situations where they had made me very angry. One day I said that they don't have to worry about the child anymore and if they want to leave they can. Their response was to cut me off, I had legal counsel and things were handled. I loved the child, still do with all my heart, I was in a good place in life, still am, and I was agreed by their whole family to be godmother and nanny anytime they were in my area, and so I had the (very healthy) child as my son.
It's been a wonderful 7 years. I never knew how they were doing because they never reached out. They didn't know much because I only use social media privately for family, birthdays etc. Part of it could be my fault for never reaching out. Until recently.
Recently they started messaging me on Facebook, I was casual and gave small details, son's fine, he had a good birthday. These details slowly got bigger, cool things he's doing at school, a community award he received, how proud. They seem to be genuinely proud and happy and eventually I trusted them to talk to him online and the mother of the Father (MIL) also got involved. We were getting along well and had similar hobbies and opinions and they wanted to make amends with me. I was fine with chatting but I never planned for it to go beyond, and I never clearly said anything that would lead them on. But I'm not actively discouraging them from trying to be involved. I understand, people can change 180 and almost 10 years is a long time. People can also be influenced by would-be grandparents, etc. These people have made changes over the years, they have a good business, a nice home and many daughters, they don't behave the best but I know parents aren't the only factor. The couple has been trying to pay to help with my son and have been actively trying to make visits and I said I appreciate the efforts.
I decided not to tell my son about his sisters, but the parents went behind me last month and told him about the kids they had at home. They told me it was MIL who did it and I won't know for sure. Yes, my son does have the right to know his sisters, I agree, but my reasoning was that he does not know these people, I felt it would be too much for him, and once I understood for myself what I was going to do THEN I could tell him and let him decide.
MIL scolded me for this and since then she nag me for increasingly smaller things. Before the previous event, I found out she got pictures from my son from Facebook when I was in the bathroom as well as pictures she found in the news/school site, and she posts them online talking about her grandson. I wouldn't mind this if she wasn't crossing so many boundaries or acting as if she raised him herself and just being a little bit too proud.
Back when we started talking, I denied her my address but I gave PO because she insisted on sending birthday gifts. At first I appreciated it but now the gifts are getting out of hand, for example he likes a certain book series which he has the entire collection to and she proceeded to send him a special edition set and will send books he wants the minute they come out instead of us going to buy it and read it together. if I get him something with the allowance he earned she will go ahead and send something even better, i feel she'll try to one up everything that I buy for him even if it's T-shirts. I asked her to stop and she said that she's just being a good grandma. The father is doing nothing about this and also sending gifts, helping her (imo) dig into me about how proud I should be of the things my son is doing as if I'm not, also shaming me for not recognising how smart my son is even though I've explained that I don't focus on how smart he is but rather how hard he works. It's not as often as I make it seem, it's a trivial thing that's built up over time. Father was adopted as adult because his mom passed away and family had problems so he sucks up to her.
Of course son is more curious about them, he didn't explicitly say he wants to visit, never said that he didn't want to, he's asked questions. I Have nothing good to say about them personally beneath the surface, as what I know personally are the bad things from 10 years ago that I have no way of determining don't still apply, and the only things I know now are material or their social reputations. He doesn't know that we discussed visits.
As for visits I said I wasn't sure. I don't know them enough to trust them even if a visit was completely public with me present. Mum to be is trying to push visitations, the reason being "let's see the little champ"and "He's a great kid he needs his father more than ever" and MIL this MIL that.
A big part of me wants to say no, or is afraid that if I ask my son that he would say yes or it would create more drama. I don't know if my feelings are founded or if it's paranoia because I do have trouble with my own family. I do peaceful parenting and I hate family drama. I wish not to deprive son of a father, I wish he could get all the bonding and attention and learning and gifts and other things that dad and grandmother offer. Even though my son knows he was once going to go to a different mum and have a dad, he's never questioned until now, he told me he only likes me and he doesn't want another mum. I feel He's too young to understand the entire situation and make a decision. I don't want to deprive his siblings of him or them of their brother, but the parents said if they can't see my son then their children can't, mother-in-law said they're willing to tolerate me and I should do the same. They said they will get to know me if they can see my son - but otherwise they have their own lives to worry about and they don't have time for making buddies, and I can understand that, parenting and careers and personal matters has to be even more difficult with multiple kids. I don't know what to do if I say yes and I don't know what to do if I say no.
TLDR: people I was a surrogate for turned out to be bumholes and I raised the child as my own. Now they want to see him and while their lives have improved, they're having suspicious behaviour and I'm also feeling bad. I'm hoping for advice from people in a similar situation

Hey y’all. I am a lurker on my personal account, but I’m using a throwaway for privacy reasons. I (in my 20’s F) and my husband (in his 20’sM) have been married for 2 years. I found out a year into my marriage that he has been a porn addict since being exposed in 1st grade. He also is a survivor of SA as a child from his female cousin.
We are currently separated (not by choice, he is in the military) but I was able to visit him last week. We had a great time, and he has been clean for about 3 months. Yesterday I found out that he relapsed after checking our accountability app (Covenant Eyes). I’m just so broken right now and wanted to vent out loud. We are in the process of getting matched for couples therapy, and I am beginning individual therapy on Tuesday this week.
Here’s what I wrote him: “I'm serious when I say that you telling me "I'm sorry and I love you." Is not going to fix this. I told you before we left for our separation what my boundaries are and you need to decide if you want me or porn.
I don't believe you are sorry or that you love me because if you did you would have called me or one of your accountability partners before you did that. You would have confessed to me after you did it. You would have been HONEST when I confronted you. Sheepishly saying, "oh I just googled something" doesn't cut it. It was nice having about 2 weeks where I wasn't worrying about this all the time and now I'm back having nightmares about it again. It's so selfish. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep because your spouse would rather lust and commit adultery in their heart over prostitutes and porn stars? It sucks. Or had nightmares over and over that your spouse keeps cheating on you but won't admit it?
When you are really to be HONEST and actually LOYAL to me we can talk about it, but until then I need time to myself. I'm also disgusted that you asked me for inappropriate pictures mere hours after you did this.”
We had a good conversation after and I feel stronger. But it still sucks so bad that he relapsed. We get to see each other again in a week and a half and I’m excited but worried he will relapse again right after.
After confronting him yesterday I just laid in bed and cried listening to “You’re Losing Me,” from Taylor Swift. I don’t want to divorce him, but I didn’t sign up for this. I always feel broken after he relapses (this is number 4 maybe?) but over stronger that we were vulnerable together. If I knew about his addiction before getting married I would have waited for him to be strong in his sobriety. The lyrics hit so close to home:
“You say, "I don't understand" and I say, "I know you don't.” We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't. Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light. Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired even for a phoenix. Always risin' from the ashes. Mendin' all her gashes. You might just have dealt the final blow.
Stop, you're losing me. Stop, you're losing me. Stop, you're losing me. I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore for you. 'Cause you're losing me
Every mornin' I glared at you with storms in my eyes. How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.
And the air is thick with loss and indecision. I know my pain is such an imposition. Now, you're running down the hallway. And you know what they all say. "You don't know what you got until it's gone"
Stop, you're losing me. Stop, you're losing me Stop, you're losing me. I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore for you. 'Cause you're losing me. ‘Cause you're losing me. Stop (Stop) 'cause you're losing me
My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me). My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me)
How long could we be a sad song. 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?. I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy. And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier. Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me. I'm the best thing at this party (You're losing me). And I wouldn't marry me either. A pathological people pleaser. Who only wanted you to see her. And I'm fading, thinkin'. "Do something, babe, say something" (Say something). "Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me). "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing). "To believe, unless you're choosing me"
You're losing me. Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me. Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me. I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore.”
Just thinking out loud, and I’m open to any resources you recommend.

Which is a huge part of how I even emotionally connect with a person. But on top of that, he is a widower who basically friend-zones me. I have always been understanding and supportive and highly empathetic of his struggles, we have been together for a year and a half and I really thought by this point, we would at least be more emotionally connected in one way or another but it’s just not happening. I feel like I am giving way too much of myself for him to only curse me, drink himself silly, and piss it all away. He has said that “I add so much color to his life” but all I feel is him removing so much out of mine with the built up bitterness, sadness and anger he has. It consumes him. She passed in early 2020 and in the beginning he lead me to believe he went through therapy and was healed and ready for this. This has never even once been proven to be the case. I love him so much, and I’d do anything to take his pain away. But when should I stop giving my heart and soul to someone who only pushes me away, and only thinks HIS pain is all that matters? I have built my life around caring for a person that will never truly love me back.I fucked up.

I got divorced a year ago, after an 11 year marriage. I was devastated at first, but realized it was for the best. I took about a year to get to discover myself after that and then decided that it wasn’t what I wanted to be alone, so I downloaded a few dating apps, without many expectations figuring what the heck.
I matched with a lady on Stir, one that’s made for parents. After chatting for a day on there we traded numbers, and talked on the phone that night. This was the beginning of January. We constantly everyday texted, and several times a week would talk on the phone. This girl checked all the boxes that I was looking for and more. She had a difficult past, but who the heck doesn’t? We didn’t even meet in person, despite my asking, for about 3 months. It wasn’t until she started having a bad custody dispute with the father of her kids, and the kids went to their dads for a while. She called me up crying and said she needed my support, so I got a sitter for mine and got there to be there for her. Other complications I can’t quite go into, but I was there for her that night. Nothing inappropriate, we walked around Home Depot, and then got dinnedrinks. She did kiss me, but that’s as far as it went as I knew she was emotionally distraught.
We continued talking, after that. Her kids were then with their dad in a different state. One Friday she said she wanted to do something, so I took her on a date to a restaurant she had mentioned she wanted to go to Downtown. After, I went to take her home, and she asked to go back to my place, so we stopped and got a bottle of wine, and headed back. We talked for hours, sipping on wine. She looked at me and said she decided she wanted to stay, and kissed me, and we got intimate. After, we stayed up and listened to the music we were both into for hours. She stayed the night. The next morning after sleeping in I took her home. After a few hours she texted me and asked me to pick her back up and wanted to spend more time with me. So we spent the iight at my place again. The next day I took her home again. She texted me till the next day, Monday, and then went silent.
I heard from her that late night (3am) where she told me that her mom (who she was living with) kicked her out and she went to a hotel. I couldn’t get out of my head why she hadn’t just come back to my place… but it’s her prerogative so whatever. Then she proceeded to not talk to me until Friday when I asked her how her week went. She texted me back saying how she wasn’t ready for a relationship, which must seem confusing because of last weekend, and all she wanted to be was friends. I was super disappointed, but loved her as a person, so I said sure. This was the middle of April.
We got together and went on walks, went to restaurants that week as friends. I’m happy for the companionship. That Friday she had agreed to go to a work even with me as my +1, and she still went, as a friend. After, we ended up at a bar and may have gotten drunk and she gave me a gummy, so we were high as well. She said that even though she told me that we could only be friends, she didn’t want to say never would it be a relationship, and she still had feelings for me. It lit a fire in my heart. That evening we got an Uber back to my place (she was too far gone to go back to her moms) and she ended up sleeping in me bed and snuggling me all night. Nothing sexual. That next morning she thanked me and said how nice it was to feel cared for by someone else. I took her home that morning.
Over the next few weeks we met each others kids, going to the zoo, out to eat, and to a trampoline park. It was amazing. I even met her mom, and gave her mom a gift to give her on Mother’s Day. I got a text on Mother’s Day saying thank you and how amazing I was and how I didn’t have to do it. I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to show her that someone appreciated her for being a mom.
The next day she all of a sudden was on a trip with a “friend” in a city a few hours away. No big deal, I was just surprised since she hadn’t mentioned it to be two days before where we were together. The next day, still with the “friend” in a couple other cities. Third day another one. Some things clicked and I asked her if she was vacationing with her ex-fiancé. She said she was, and they had been talking about what it would be like to be back together for the last month… she’s even going to Hawaii with him in a few weeks…
She then proceeded to tell me that I was too sweet for her. How she only ever viewed me as a friend. How she never even considered us as being together…FUCK. It messed me up. I had that glimmer that was shattered. I can’t get over this girl. I had fallen for her. I loved her. I met her kids and loved them. My kids loved her. Now she’s moving back to another state with her old fiancée. I never even felt suicidal when I went through a divorce, but I have several times. It sucks. It’s been 3 weeks and I’m barley feeling better. I sent her a text 2 weeks in and am pretty sure she blocked me.
I’m devastated. I can’t help but think I’ll never find someone like her again. I feel like I have so much love to give, and no one is ever going to want it. I just want someone to love me like I love them. I feel useless. I know I’m not, but it’s how it feels. I’m in therapy, I do everything recommended by people. I still feel like shit. Why do people have to suck so much? 😞
This wasn’t all the details of the story obviously, but felt the need to vent. And even this was long. What the hell do I do…?

I am here for advice but here to vent hoping others can also find a comfort that they're not alone going through something like this.
I am not from the US and my culture is different. They are from the US and probably view this differently
When I was younger I was surrogate for a couple that I knew. Ifit matters, the egg was mine and mum to be was not involved. beyond that, she didn't do much to accommodate or interact, she missed some appointments and things despite being available, being seen at bars etc, sometimes both would be unseen and would come and go as they pleased. They cycled between sending me long lists of things to do during pregnancy or telling me to do what I thought best and then sometimes getting mad about it.
Since gender mattered to them, I set a time to tell them about their son in person, but they weren't very pleased. Not exactly angry but as if their hopes had been given up, they had wanted a girl. Not only was I judgmental upon that but I had they didn't know how pregnancy worked, as they began leaning towards the idea that it was my fault. They reminded me of talks they had with family about how We are going to try for a daughter, they cannot wait to see their daughter for the first time. In the beginning I should have seen the red flag, however it did not look like one at the time, I overheard bits and I assumed they were talking hypothetically son/daughtebaby. It was now my fault for not taking all those hints and doing whatever I did to either guarantee or increase the risk of a boy.
We got imaging, they requested 4d, and they got a pretty decent hit of the baby's face, and while I was ecstatic, and expecting them to be, they weren't very pleased. The more we went over it I became confident that they were judging the child and not the technology.
It was at this time as well as another time when a doctor said she was a little concerned for the child that the parents decided there was something wrong with the child, I overheard them, how they think the child is going to be "r-ed", what they're going to do, wondering how bad it's going to be. Now I work in medicine, I understand these concerns, so often people are not able to care for so-and-so or they're concerned about quality of life, but such topics did not come up and it was out of no concern for the child.
There were many personal situations where they had made me very angry. One day I said that they don't have to worry about the child anymore and if they want to leave they can. Their response was to cut me off, I had legal counsel and things were handled. I loved the child, still do with all my heart, I was in a good place in life, still am, and I was agreed by their whole family to be godmother and nanny anytime they were in my area, and so I had the (very healthy) child as my son.
It's been a wonderful 7 years. I never knew how they were doing because they never reached out. They didn't know much because I only use social media privately for family, birthdays etc. Part of it could be my fault for never reaching out. Until recently.
Recently they started messaging me on Facebook, I was casual and gave small details, son's fine, he had a good birthday. These details slowly got bigger, cool things he's doing at school, a community award he received, how proud. They seem to be genuinely proud and happy and eventually I trusted them to talk to him online and the mother of the Father (MIL) also got involved. We were getting along well and had similar hobbies and opinions and they wanted to make amends with me. I was fine with chatting but I never planned for it to go beyond, and I never clearly said anything that would lead them on. But I'm not actively discouraging them from trying to be involved. I understand, people can change 180 and almost 10 years is a long time. People can also be influenced by would-be grandparents, etc. These people have made changes over the years, they have a good business, a nice home and many daughters, they don't behave the best but I know parents aren't the only factor. The couple has been trying to pay to help with my son and have been actively trying to make visits and I said I appreciate the efforts.
I decided not to tell my son about his sisters, but the parents went behind me last month and told him about the kids they had at home. They told me it was MIL who did it and I won't know for sure. Yes, my son does have the right to know his sisters, I agree, but my reasoning was that he does not know these people, I felt it would be too much for him, and once I understood for myself what I was going to do THEN I could tell him and let him decide.
MIL scolded me for this and since then she nag me for increasingly smaller things. Before the previous event, I found out she got pictures from my son from Facebook when I was in the bathroom as well as pictures she found in the news/school site, and she posts them online talking about her grandson. I wouldn't mind this if she wasn't crossing so many boundaries or acting as if she raised him herself and just being a little bit too proud.
Back when we started talking, I denied her my address but I gave PO because she insisted on sending birthday gifts. At first I appreciated it but now the gifts are getting out of hand, for example he likes a certain book series which he has the entire collection to and she proceeded to send him a special edition set and will send books he wants the minute they come out instead of us going to buy it and read it together. if I get him something with the allowance he earned she will go ahead and send something even better, i feel she'll try to one up everything that I buy for him even if it's T-shirts. I asked her to stop and she said that she's just being a good grandma. The father is doing nothing about this and also sending gifts, helping her (imo) dig into me about how proud I should be of the things my son is doing as if I'm not, also shaming me for not recognising how smart my son is even though I've explained that I don't focus on how smart he is but rather how hard he works. It's not as often as I make it seem, it's a trivial thing that's built up over time. Father was adopted as adult because his mom passed away and family had problems so he sucks up to her.
Of course son is more curious about them, he didn't explicitly say he wants to visit, never said that he didn't want to, he's asked questions. I Have nothing good to say about them personally beneath the surface, as what I know personally are the bad things from 10 years ago that I have no way of determining don't still apply, and the only things I know now are material or their social reputations. He doesn't know that we discussed visits.
As for visits I said I wasn't sure. I don't know them enough to trust them even if a visit was completely public with me present. Mum to be is trying to push visitations, the reason being "let's see the little champ"and "He's a great kid he needs his father more than ever" and MIL this MIL that.
A big part of me wants to say no, or is afraid that if I ask my son that he would say yes or it would create more drama. I don't know if my feelings are founded or if it's paranoia because I do have trouble with my own family. I do peaceful parenting and I hate family drama. I wish not to deprive son of a father, I wish he could get all the bonding and attention and learning and gifts and other things that dad and grandmother offer. Even though my son knows he was once going to go to a different mum and have a dad, he's never questioned until now, he told me he only likes me and he doesn't want another mum. I feel He's too young to understand the entire situation and make a decision. I don't want to deprive his siblings of him or them of their brother, but the parents said if they can't see my son then their children can't, mother-in-law said they're willing to tolerate me and I should do the same. They said they will get to know me if they can see my son - but otherwise they have their own lives to worry about and they don't have time for making buddies, and I can understand that, parenting and careers and personal matters has to be even more difficult with multiple kids. I don't know what to do if I say yes and I don't know what to do if I say no.
TLDR: people I was a surrogate for turned out to be bumholes and I raised the child as my own. Now they want to see him and while their lives have improved, they're having suspicious behaviour and I'm also feeling bad. I'm hoping for advice from people in a similar situation

I am here for advice but here to vent hoping others can also find a comfort that they're not alone going through something like this
I am not from the US and my culture is different. They are from the US and probably view this differently
When I was younger I was surrogate for a couple that I knew. Ifit matters, the egg was mine and mum to be was not involved. beyond that, she didn't do much to accommodate or interact, she missed some appointments and things despite being available, being seen at bars etc, sometimes both would be unseen and would come and go as they pleased. They cycled between sending me long lists of things to do during pregnancy or telling me to do what I thought best and then sometimes getting mad about it.
Since gender mattered to them, I set a time to tell them about their son in person, but they weren't very pleased. Not exactly angry but as if their hopes had been given up, they had wanted a girl. Not only was I judgmental upon that but I had they didn't know how pregnancy worked, as they began leaning towards the idea that it was my fault. They reminded me of talks they had with family about how We are going to try for a daughter, they cannot wait to see their daughter for the first time. In the beginning I should have seen the red flag, however it did not look like one at the time, I overheard bits and I assumed they were talking hypothetically son/daughtebaby. It was now my fault for not taking all those hints and doing whatever I did to either guarantee or increase the risk of a boy.
We got imaging, they requested 4d, and they got a pretty decent hit of the baby's face, and while I was ecstatic, and expecting them to be, they weren't very pleased. The more we went over it I became confident that they were judging the child and not the technology.
It was at this time as well as another time when a doctor said she was a little concerned for the child that the parents decided there was something wrong with the child, I overheard them, how they think the child is going to be "r-ed", what they're going to do, wondering how bad it's going to be. Now I work in medicine, I understand these concerns, so often people are not able to care for so-and-so or they're concerned about quality of life, but such topics did not come up and it was out of no concern for the child.
There were many personal situations where they had made me very angry. One day I said that they don't have to worry about the child anymore and if they want to leave they can. Their response was to cut me off, I had legal counsel and things were handled. I loved the child, still do with all my heart, I was in a good place in life, still am, and I was agreed by their whole family to be godmother and nanny anytime they were in my area, and so I had the (very healthy) child as my son.
It's been a wonderful 7 years. I never knew how they were doing because they never reached out. They didn't know much because I only use social media privately for family, birthdays etc. Part of it could be my fault for never reaching out. Until recently.
Recently they started messaging me on Facebook, I was casual and gave small details, son's fine, he had a good birthday. These details slowly got bigger, cool things he's doing at school, a community award he received, how proud. They seem to be genuinely proud and happy and eventually I trusted them to talk to him online and the mother of the Father (MIL) also got involved. We were getting along well and had similar hobbies and opinions and they wanted to make amends with me. I was fine with chatting but I never planned for it to go beyond, and I never clearly said anything that would lead them on. But I'm not actively discouraging them from trying to be involved. I understand, people can change 180 and almost 10 years is a long time. People can also be influenced by would-be grandparents, etc. These people have made changes over the years, they have a good business, a nice home and many daughters, they don't behave the best but I know parents aren't the only factor. The couple has been trying to pay to help with my son and have been actively trying to make visits and I said I appreciate the efforts.
I decided not to tell my son about his sisters, but the parents went behind me last month and told him about the kids they had at home. They told me it was MIL who did it and I won't know for sure. Yes, my son does have the right to know his sisters, I agree, but my reasoning was that he does not know these people, I felt it would be too much for him, and once I understood for myself what I was going to do THEN I could tell him and let him decide.
MIL scolded me for this and since then she nag me for increasingly smaller things. Before the previous event, I found out she got pictures from my son from Facebook when I was in the bathroom as well as pictures she found in the news/school site, and she posts them online talking about her grandson. I wouldn't mind this if she wasn't crossing so many boundaries or acting as if she raised him herself and just being a little bit too proud.
Back when we started talking, I denied her my address but I gave PO because she insisted on sending birthday gifts. At first I appreciated it but now the gifts are getting out of hand, for example he likes a certain book series which he has the entire collection to and she proceeded to send him a special edition set and will send books he wants the minute they come out instead of us going to buy it and read it together. if I get him something with the allowance he earned she will go ahead and send something even better, i feel she'll try to one up everything that I buy for him even if it's T-shirts. I asked her to stop and she said that she's just being a good grandma. The father is doing nothing about this and also sending gifts, helping her (imo) dig into me about how proud I should be of the things my son is doing as if I'm not, also shaming me for not recognising how smart my son is even though I've explained that I don't focus on how smart he is but rather how hard he works. It's not as often as I make it seem, it's a trivial thing that's built up over time. Father was adopted as adult because his mom passed away and family had problems so he sucks up to her.
Of course son is more curious about them, he didn't explicitly say he wants to visit, never said that he didn't want to, he's asked questions. I Have nothing good to say about them personally beneath the surface, as what I know personally are the bad things from 10 years ago that I have no way of determining don't still apply, and the only things I know now are material or their social reputations. He doesn't know that we discussed visits.
As for visits I said I wasn't sure. I don't know them enough to trust them even if a visit was completely public with me present. Mum to be is trying to push visitations, the reason being "let's see the little champ"and "He's a great kid he needs his father more than ever" and MIL this MIL that.
A big part of me wants to say no, or is afraid that if I ask my son that he would say yes or it would create more drama. I don't know if my feelings are founded or if it's paranoia because I do have trouble with my own family. I do peaceful parenting and I hate family drama. I wish not to deprive son of a father, I wish he could get all the bonding and attention and learning and gifts and other things that dad and grandmother offer. Even though my son knows he was once going to go to a different mum and have a dad, he's never questioned until now, he told me he only likes me and he doesn't want another mum. I feel He's too young to understand the entire situation and make a decision. I don't want to deprive his siblings of him or them of their brother, but the parents said if they can't see my son then their children can't, mother-in-law said they're willing to tolerate me and I should do the same. They said they will get to know me if they can see my son - but otherwise they have their own lives to worry about and they don't have time for making buddies, and I can understand that, parenting and careers and personal matters has to be even more difficult with multiple kids. I don't know what to do if I say yes and I don't know what to do if I say no.
TLDR: people I was a surrogate for turned out to be bumholes and I raised the child as my own. Now they want to see him and while their lives have improved, they're having suspicious behaviour and I'm also feeling bad. I'm hoping for advice from people in a similar situation

MINE ARE
kintaro > goro
Cassie > sonya
Kabal > Kano
The nrs games are 10 times better then anything from both the arcade and 3D eras
Guest characters are dope and should be in every fighting game (that can afford them)
Fatal blows are one of the best parts of mk11
I dont understand the kronika and centrion hate

Yo glue. You don't use this place so you'll never hear this but I got to tell someone and I'm not going to send it to you and sound even crazier I don't want you thinking I'm some kind of psychopathic stalker and I want you to feel comfortable and respected with your boundaries. So let's get down to brass tacks.
Girl when I think about you and all this s*** that went on and I think about me. It reminds me of when in pulp fiction Bruce Willis is popping Marcellus Wallace (Ving rhames) in the face saying "you feel that?" That's your pride f****** with you or some s*** like that.
Man glue how the hell are my feelings going to be hurt and how can I be so selfish as to even think that I deserve to be respected or put any expectations on you I'm not going to go into huge detail. Reason being is because the rest of the world will hear it but you probably won't but at least out there in the void I'm going to make it to where the respect you deserve this voiced from me and that you're honored for the things that you've done selflessly. Being thet our sister birthday was yesterday and she's no longer with us I think she would smile from above knowing that I finally said something like this.
Hey let me say thank you for real. Thank you for shutting my ass down and thank you for this list I'm about to go through which I will go into detail at a later time.
I'm going to write a story about our lives. I'm telling you it's going to happen. I started three separate writings and I'm ready to scrap them all to tell our story. I'm going to focus on that in my writings anyways on to the summary of what glue means to me or what I acknowledge about glue.
What you were up against.
When we met. You a teenage girl. Abandoned by one parent in a very vile way. The other parent was raising you. We were running around, you got sick, and you were in the hospital for weeks with some very serious troubles. Towards the end of the hospital stay cuz I was in there with you the whole time. The other parent came said that they won't going to deal with you and for you to figure it out a young girl in the hospital. The crazy part is you had done nothing wrong. That was my first real dose of surrealism in people next to some childhood stuff from one of my mother's boyfriends. And shortly after you were told you didn't have a home to come back to as a teenage girl in the hospital the doctors came in and said you would never be able to get pregnant or bare children. You moved in with us me my mom and my sister. And after all that you have been through you would think that you'll be nervous or anxious or things will be awkward. No. You stepped into the home and you immediately brought light into it that it was missing. You immediately were a part of the family and you were a part that was missing the whole time that no one ever knew about. You became a daughter to my mother a sister to my sister and more important things than my words can express right now to me. You kept a strong mentality and glue you were always the caretaker. You dealt with me a young pig-headed man very much in love with you with the drug addiction you catered to me. But not like a slave you catered to my soul there is never someone that I can ever dream of to treat me the way you did. You were loyal man you were my everything. I was yours. None of this is going to be an order but I've traveled with you across the country. We moved to Louisiana. I got a job on the tugboats. You were in the middle of a new scary town. And here I was gone 30 days at a time. But you held on. That was a really stressful time when I look back and that was a time when even though it was an experience I regret that decision because being gone that long from you at that young seemed okay then but even though my buddy's family was around I should have been there. But we did it the best we could. Eventually that didn't work out I'll never forget two cats in a 1984 Ford escort and all our s*** driving all the way to the East Coast. That escort could do some runs now. Anyways we moved to the beach. Being close to home my drug addiction was still an active Factor at all times you held on every time you could. When we move to the beach we decided we were going to do other things we came back to the city. That's what my sister move to the beach with her friend and we were in the city and got to call she had been in a car wreck.
We fly down to the beach before that even cut my sister out of the car we made a 2-hour drive in about 45 minutes. They will my sister in you were right by her side by my side you were there fam you were going through it with me, with her, with the parents. The wheel her in she said she couldn't feel her legs. Boom paralyzed never going to walk again. Thank God she lived and thank God she has such an amazing sister beside her during it all.
After rehabilitation the situation that it happened put my mom into a absolute mental tailspin. So we stuck around as my mother could barely function to tend to my sister.. to your sister. So you a young young woman who had been s*** on by her family. Took over my mother's role and began caretaking for my sister, all the while taking care of my mom with her mental episodes and and down time, and taking care of a loving man with an addiction that had selfish tendencies and you filled the role of all three caretakers and still manage to love me and show me affection with a smile on your face. You took care of the whole house. You took care of the animals. I'm not talking about any of the good really that I did or anybody else did I just want you to be recognized here.
We decided to move to Florida after a long time of you taking care of my paralyzed sister and helping her acclimate until she started lighting it up. What she took off and became president the Honor society went back to school started doing fundraisers was in the Miss wheelchair state runnings eyeballing Ms wheelchair America..once she got in her groove... We went on to Florida.
In Florida you dealt with a man that had just found the purest cocaine he had done in a long time for dirt cheap prices. Through pretty much the whole stay we were there the years we were there. But I wasn't completely a lost cause so in Florida you became a business partner, an entrepreneur, an inventor, a teammate, a valuable asset, Chief cornerstone that all things business relied on between us and my buddy that we went into business with. Your pragmatic approach and abilities dominated with mine. The things I fell short in you could put into place... I don't want to say my inventiveness and idealism was the exact complimentary opposite to that where you lacked. But I'm going to be straight up with you you were just as inventive, sellable, full of ideas, practical enough to make it happen, and able to execute. So you were still at a young age early twenties the most amazing business partner I could ever ask for. Not to mention the fun in the sun the palm trees the tacky gold the new cars living on the beach man I was built for that s*** and I know you were. Eventually when the big collapse of the towers came, and us with our lack of savings which was a big part my fault. After September 11th the market just crashed and we didn't do business and s*** started going backwards and we sold our debt for what a couple thousand bucks? To watch my friend hold on to that business and buy us out of all that debt until it finally bankrupted was insane he really held on to that dream.
Anyways by the time we get back to our hometown not only is my sister been in a wheelchair now my sister develops a tumor on her pituitary gland Cushing's disease. My drug addiction is full force when we pull back into town. You jump right into action taking care of her everyone and by this time your family had got back in your life your parents. And you forgave them and let them in boy I'll never forget to work it took for you to get over that I remember the days that I sit with you and helped you work through that stuff. But you forgave you opened your heart and you opened your arms and embrace family. And you took care of everyone.
We get married. I get you pregnant the first child. I'm so far in addiction now that we're back home ground zero for those old habits. You're neglected, I'm high, selfish,I'm ashamed so basically I either don't come home because I've been up all night High s*** spending all of our money. And I mean all of it taking right out of my pregnant wife's and the baby's mouth to serve my f****** addiction. and you just held on. Remainder Rock still taking care of my sister. Still being there for my mom. And absolutely the polar opposite of what the doctor said when we first met about not being able to have kids. So after neglecting you constantly pawning off tons of responsibilities on you and spending every penny we had and expecting you to take care of the kids and never being home and being unavailable because I had a disgusting ratchet ass bottom of the barrel love affair that started with cocaine but once I tried to sling and learn how to cook cocaine became Crack to be exact. I traded you, businesses, vehicles, Mom Dad the kids, stability love, God, futures, anything everything I traded for that nasty b**** crack. Mind body Spirit trade it at all.
And what did you do you kept managing with what you we had you kept trying to hold it together and you held on for dear life.
Now you had already become a daughter to my mother and you were a sister to my sister so my part to play in that has nothing to do with y'all's relationship at this point. There's a very painful thing that I'm even scared to talk about maybe one day. Anyways finally you said you couldn't do it anymore I had driven us in the dirt I had literally turned us into basically homeless people with kids and I just could not stop when I would get to the bottom I'd bring a jackhammer and I'd find a new bottom. And you finally took your eyes off of me and you looked at what was the most important our child and you said it's time to separate you had to do it. Our separation you still tried to work with me as I got off the drug short-term and you came back and that's when I got you pregnant. That's what I want to talk to you about one day when we have time. But that has nothing to do with the honor you deserve because you are always were and not a doubt my mind always will be a loyal honorable commendable Royal woman a true virtuous woman.
Anyways when we started talking again during the separation I got you pregnant again. We got back together to try to make it work for both our kids now. But I wasn't going to give up crack for you all the families all the religion all the money and all the happiness in the world. I was that f****** stupid. God is good because I didn't 12 step my s*** out of there with that God come down and put a disgust and a chill in my bones about that s*** and made it disappear overnight. Maybe another time because it was way too late when it happened. Anyways I got you to raise two kids stole all of our money stole all of our food stole everything we didn't even have gas half the time. You hold on. You held one. I still have the claw marks in my soul from where you didn't want to let me go because you were that committed and that good of a woman. That in tune with family.
You went on to raise the kids by yourself you hooked up with another dude he got you pregnant then you dealt with him abusing you physically. Torturing that household. I know he's changed but I know some of this s*** that he did to my kids because I could see it in their eyes every time I would drop a fork. Thank God they healed from that. Whether they healed fully especially one of them I don't know. But then the question would have to be raised does the pain in the issues they go through revolve around him or revolve around the traumas from me. Cuz a dad supposed to be there. You basically dealt with him terrorizing y'all raising hell you've told me some of the things that he used to do to you I don't see how you can still talk to me like he needs you and you've got to be there for him but that's on you and I respect it but the way that you explain some of the things that he did to you to me it makes me sick to my stomach because I could just never see myself like harming you physically over and over and over again and doing things to you in other forms of physical abuse and getting pleasure or control out of it. But I can see taking you everything you ever owned and never given our kids a chance or anybody else and giving it all to crack can I so I don't know there. I just know it blows my mind. But I think it comes a lot from the fact I left us so bottom of the barrel out back from my addiction that as long as somebody was providing you felt some form of security over top of what I left you with which was complete insecurity. Maybe that's why you stuck around for the abuse and still justifiy it over top of the things I've done to this day.
You raised his kid, you raised my kids, you were the one true parent you were two dads you were one mom. You were a counselor, a provider a mediator a caretaker a teacher a protector a shelter a guide a mentor a motivator a problem solver you were a parent and you played the role of three parents. Plus you worked plus you were there for my family whenever they needed you. You were there for my sister all through her Cushing's disease. And there's so much more because you were building towards the future on your own establishing financial security vision for yourself holding the fort down getting damn near no financial help from me none 00.
I incurred 135,000 child support debt with you. How's that for deadbeat dead? See this isn't about the arrogant narcissistic guy you think I am this is about who you are. Let's just fast forward so we getting locked up for child support even though you had already told me you weren't working on getting all of that got rid of. And yes you may not believe this but my whole f****** inheritance is going to you not one red cent goes to me because you earned that. Yo you earned like 50,000 times that times a hundred times 50. All of the money in the world in my opinion is still not enough compensation if it was given all to you for the things you've done.
Now fast forward to my sister dying she's on her deathbed she's checking out. you stay and active part of her life and you check on her and you stay by her side and you are there with her as a friend you coming you become her caretaker in the end you help my mother you stand by my family side we see my sister into the Afterlife and we live the lives we live.
I come to the city out of the blue I'll come to find out there was a warrant out I get arrested. With some help from another family member if y'all bond me out with $13,000 cash. A week later I'm called by the courts they said we didn't have to show the decision could be made without us there and when we pop up they walk out and they say here here's your piece of paper sir. You owe $14.75. I'll look at the piece of paper it says Mr so and so your debt with child support enforcement has been cleared in full please pay us these $14 processing fees and your case is closed. You smiled me a smile at you.
And you said the most horrific thing I've ever heard in my life from someone. I'm being cynical here because it was really the most amazing thing but I hate the term because I'm a basket case. You looked at me and said be better do better.
Fast forward after that I started trying to get my s*** together started trying to help you with vehicles and stuff around the house and somehow... Some f****** way... I had the audacity to get offended by the way you were treating me. And I had a nervous breakdown. And I begin saying things to you the absolutely weren't true that I absolutely didn't mean and I f****** flaked.
You with no contact to protect yourself.
Look at what you have done how could I have done that?
Anyways I've seen my mom turn on you with her words. I've seen your parents turn on you, I've turned on you, seen your friends turn on you, I've seen a world I've seen your ex's turn on you, but you know what I've never seen you turn on the people that you give your ability and your honor to and your bonds to I've never seen you turn on them ever.
You didn't turn on me you were protecting yourself.
Glue you were the strongest f****** woman I've ever met and you are worthy of an award that his world renowned and recognized because there are so many things that I haven't said here.
You are The Rock, you are the glue, you are the ties that bind... You are the virtuous woman. Proverbs 31 versus 10 to 31 is the description of who You are. Even to the point of where our kids were raised by you to place the dwelling now that you're at. You have taken in so many other people's kids you're like a parent to everyone. You excel at every job that you do. Vital asset to every team that you join. Highly efficient highly intelligent. Insanely gorgeous. Smart funny. God your sense of humor is so f****** awesome.
I'll see things in pictures my brain sees things in pictures and I just see pictures of you sometimes where always if we were around somebody that was down you would do the goofiest s*** you had to do to get them to smile because that's what you do. Just like sis did and this is her birthday gift from me because she told me several times to think about how hard you have worked. And she begged me to draw that picture before she died I got it toward the day before she died it was so important to her that picture is me holding her hand and her grabbing a star and her feet rooted to the ground and the roots coming into my feet and it says my brother taught me to reach for the stars my sister taught me to remain grounded.
And it's weird because I look at that and I think about how much of a icon and how much of a aura and presence glue was see y'all were glue one and two. And I'll go get that picture that she had me draw and it brings these overwhelming senses of things because I miss her so much but it brings you into the picture too because you always kept me grounded and I could envision anything anything on vision and you could take it for what it was and you could be like okay it's not that practical but it can be done and you would make the systems that made it happen no matter what it was I could create anything with you. You are after all Earth. I'm air. Reach for the Stars grounded etc.
Do you have so many amazing qualities and you have done so many honorable things. And for my sister's birthday I honor you her sister because the things that she said really ring true now. If you never talk to me again I respect it, if you want us to try to have some kind of working amicable relation I respect it but I have to have communication, you are so much of everything good and honestly I still love you so much thatI fall apart in your presence. But forget me man for real f*** me. Glue I want you to be happy you deserve happiness and if I take away from that then I need to shut my f****** mouth and I need to take that s*** so I went down and I need to smile because I know that you're happier. I truly know what it's like to want something so bad because I have for years but I never got healthy I'm just now getting around to taking care of myself. But I have for years wanted you and when I couldn't have you that's when you became Bruce Willis and you was popping my ass in the face saying you feel that boy that's your pride f****** with you.
Will glue I'm swallowing my pride. I want you to be happy no matter what I want you to be honored. If you ever do decide you want me in your life in any form please give me the communication I need to approach it healthily if not I'll f*** it up. I'm not even going to ask you what you want I'm not going to bug you but if by some chance in hell you ever find this letter just know at any point anytime you can reach out to me and ask for anything. I have taken and taken and taken and you have given and given and given it's time for me to sit the f*** down shut the f****** and love you the way you're supposed to be loved. And that means unconditionally loving you for who you are not loving you for me loving you because I absolutely adore who You are and I want to see the best life you can have happen.
You probably can't see your value and priceless coming out of my mouth or anyone else still does not do it justice.
Going to write a story about us glue.
And I promise to never promise again and just show you by allowing you the power dynamic you deserve to make your own choices and get the happiest healthiest life you can without me interjecting you've done it well this far better than me. Have made myself look like a total helpless loser in this but we both know what I'm capable of and what I'm about. If you need a roll for me just communicate it. I'll give it my all even if giving it my all means standing outside the box looking in but never burdening you with the fact that I am anymore.
And I'm not going to bring it up. Man I hope one day you get all the things you deserve.
You're admired appreciated loved and honored. By many. You are the Chief cornerstone woman. You are woman all woman.
I love you always will. Have my power dynamics take what you need and should you ever need me to flex my power because we both know all you got to do is make the call and I'll flex on whatever the hell you need me to as hard as you need me to and I'll scoop my ass right on out the way if that's what you need after it's done
Thank you glue
Buy some odd chance should you ever want me to be the one to try to love you communicate with me and point me in the direction I'm so f***** up out here I need direction and I know that they could be poisonous to you so you being The logical thinker that you are take that for what you will.
I've never been able to fully give myself to anyone else because I truly feel that to this day I will take my love for you to the grave.
You're that special.
Should I ever get a chance to love you and stand by your side of your man again you're going to have to let me die and and come out of the death of at least once because I'll die of happiness and wake up I just I wouldn't know how to handle it.
To me it's like imagine somebody said hey here's this egg but it doesn't have a shell that's just made of the rubber stuff that holds the shell together and you've got to run this egg 3 MI of mountain terrain in 20 minutes or the whole world ends.
Well I would just take the f****** egg and throw it on the ground. That's how I've been treating things. That's what I'm relearning everything.
It could be a detriment to you you know the sign of this always protect yourself and do what's best for your happiness but if I could love you again and be your man the things I would do I can't tell you because that would be the same old same old and honestly I just don't know.
I just know I love you you've always been everything to me and there will never be anyone that compares and there never has been.
Thank you for who you are

So I was listening to The Heart of Life and at first I thought the lyrics were "pain throws your heart to the ground", but I heard "pain throws your hope to the ground". I did some more listening and it seems like it only sounds like it on the first chorus, while on the others he says "heart". All of the lyric websites I checked say "heart" on all of them. I searched through the subreddit to see if this question has been asked before and I didn't find anything. Do you guys hear him say "hope" on the first chorus too?

Yeah. My gut feeling is usually really on the money with this stuff. Since it’s happened plenty of times before.
If anyone wants context, last week was awful. I took a few days off work for a little “vacation” by just relaxing at home. My boyfriend was over during then. The whole time he barely acknowledged me. I could feel the tension in the air it was making me sick. After days like this I confronted him. I’m not good at confrontation so I was sobbing telling him how I felt about how he’s here with me but so distant. It was heart wrenching to hear him give empty “I’m sorry” responses. After awhile I just removed myself from it and went to bed. But that confrontation feels like the nail in the coffin. He did not want to make an effort to communicate or compromise.
This guy is so amazing though! His personality and humor mesh so well with mine, why did he have to be emotionally closed off?? In the moment right now I’m already mourning the relationship. He’s not going to come to me and suddenly want to work on things, I can feel it.
I’m so upset that for the first time in a relationship I stood up for myself and now I’m going to get dumped. I’ve been through many long term relationships and I’m in my early/mid 20s. I’ve always dated with an endgame intention. I’m so depressed that no one has ever wanted to truly be with me. I’ve just been used for fun. Or to be a placeholder for someone that they like more.
But I know that I’m great. I am a person with good intentions. I will not go sour over this. Any relationship in my future will be great because my outlook will be healthy and positive. For now I’m just going to keep crying until I can’t anymore.

We are Azure Infinitum
Visit us at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/)
You may have seen us in the Aether data center's party finder during our weekly events, or may have seen our recruitment shouts around the realm in-game in Midgardsormr, but there just isn't enough space in those places to really explain everything wonderful about what our Free Company and community is.
Azure Infinitum is an LGBTQ+ friendly community, and welcomes players of all experience level, play style, and availability. We're a warm home with a balance of online players, weekly optional activities, and flexible ranks from our membership, to our support & leadership categories. We have a 24/7 Support Team, a Councilship that governs each tier, seasonal events of our own, and many resources between the games we support and online services.
Who We Are
We are an established 9-year old community who's home is in Midgardsormr Server of Final Fantasy XIV. We are a structured, well-rounded, welcoming, friendly, and organized community that hosts daily events (check out our calendar: https://azureinfinitum.com/events/ ) that provide opportunity for members to excel. We work to provide an arena and opportunities to establish strong bonds and camaraderie between our members. As a community we are driven, we carry each other forward, and we are proud.
Our Name & Philosophy
Learn more about our global community here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/aboutus/)
Learn more about our FFXIV Free Company here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ourffxivfc/)
Azure Infinitum means "Azure/Blue Infinity or Infinite Blue/Azure" and there is some mythos behind the name that stems from our guild-wide philosophy of kindness, freedom, vigilance, diversity and activity. We promote positive fellowship among members in an organized guild, with our sights open to our unending endless skies, full of possibility and success together.
Our motto is "As Free As The Azure Sky!" which stuck well when our FC was restructured from an old guild in 2014 as Azure was founded, and it was first shouted as we looked out at a clear blue sky above. has continued to be our electric victory as we continue to snowball in success and activity, our members soaring high through the Azure Sky, flying together!
Ranks
Click here to learn more about our community ranks: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/ranks/)
Our community has an organized ranking structure beginning with Members who comprise the majority of the roster. Scouts are our support team of Members who've stepped up to more officially support the FC, some work on obtaining a future leadership rank. Lieutenants and Officers comprise the proud Azure Council, a diverse group of players of different specialties and services to the FC, making up lower and higher tier leadership, seeing over the Scouts and the FC weekly events, aside from being admins. The FC Infinitum Master oversees all and leads the Azure Council and the company forward while always keeping the heart and vision of the community alive and in sight. Currently we are re-assessing ranks in the free company, giving more support permissions and duties to our Scouts, while the current council operates as a small team of Lieutenants lead by the FC Master.
Everyone Welcome and Who Fits Best
We have an open door policy. Whether you're casual, a returning player, a veteran, or a newbie, we have a vast array of players in our member roster. Our weekly schedule is organized and provides an array of activity for players of most levels, however we like to ask players who're pretty new or under the level cap, to be extra vocal about their needs while they're still unable to attend some daily events or higher level content that most of our weekly lineup focuses on. We want everyone to have as much fun as possible and have the most success. We find that most players enjoy Azure Infinitum, many have stated that they subscribed to FFXIV much longer than they ever would have imagined after they have been around in our community, as they've gotten involved and experienced all that we offer.
Our FC keeps a daily schedule (see here: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/events/) of events that are hosted by permitted Scouts and Council ranks, these range from 8-man and 24-man raids and map parties, to WT journal groups and trial clear parties or farms, and more- and attending anything isn't mandatory at all here. We're happy to have you, and its up to our members how much they'd like to get involved. Attendance is optional! There's never any stress to attend FC functions.
Savage Raiding Statement
We find that some hardcore raiders looking for free companies just to join their statics who don't already have one, might not fit well if savage raiding is their only or greatest focus, because traditionally Azure does not have a Savage Static, but focuses more on allowing members to organize their own groups and also provides resources to do so. Despite not supporting an official static for the FC, we hope that hardcore raiders enjoy the wealth of our community's wealth of harmony and overall fun, and that everyone may take initiative to seek out or build a raiding static within our community if they are interested, as opposed to missing out on experiencing Azure. Depending on the content season, we may have an Unofficial static lead by a leader, and routinely offer limited time Savage-learning events that may run for a number of months.
Rules and No Drama Policy
Please take a moment to look over our Rules Page at (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/), we find that rude individuals and people who create drama are the outsiders here that don't fit well. We know its a big page, so at least visit the General Rules section before joining.
Recruitment Care & Activity
People of Azure Infinitum are often if not always good natured players who found their way to our community looking for a place with structure, friendliness, organization, and great activity, or they've been scouted during recruitment drives and have been well screened. Its a place where one can be social and attend everything, or relax in the background and enjoy the services and facilities of being in an active, organized, and friendly FC. We actively recruit periodically to assist with upkeep of community activity levels, and to meet new comrades. A community that closes recruitment can be doomed to stagnation. Its normal for a community to have an inner core of die hards who log in daily regardless of content releases, and also have an outer core of individuals that range from those with less availability to those who check in during Patches. This is why we take extra care in keeping the fresh blood flowing into Azure, cautious recruitment, and support our active model by always staying welcoming and sometimes running recruitment campaigns and other services. Like this ad!
Handling Online Drama
Because we keep a no-drama policy and have a strong communication network, it is leadership's ultimate priority to handle any issues that may come up as soon as possible, and most people appreciate our problem solving which has inspired many other communities. Between our Support & Leadership ranks, we use a number of report and resource channels to handle situations, and perform problem solving protocols & tactics to fairly address issues as possible. Drama is inevitable at some point for any online community, so its important to have a large and strong list of moderators (currently around 60!) and a council of leaders (15+) to quickly handle any problems. Luckily, we don't have a lot of drama, but we're always very well equipped and very prepared. Our community has been commended by game staff in the past for our methods, and we have worked with the FFXIV Special Task Force to ensure as much safety to our community as achievable. It should be stressed that it is up to our membership to report to GM's in-game, and to Azure Leadership should any issues or concerns come up. Its also highly recommended that our members appropriately document evidence that can be used to help us assess situations and make proper decisions. Documenation such as screenshots of harassment is a great example! Our members online safety is greatly important to us and is a number one concern of our leadership team. Our Rules Page at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/rules/) describes a bit more in Chapter 3, including other entries on avoiding/ignoring trolls, playing while intoxicated, depression, and more.
Our Philosophy
We believe in our community and its people, how far we can go, how much we can do for each other, being an experienced community who's core values are positive fellowship, formation of bonds, and indomitable unity.
Azure Infinitum tightly grasps success and masters a casual and lucrative weekly play schedule while inspiring motivation and providing avenues for further success, friendships, and camaraderie among all who freely fly together among our Azure skies.
Founding on the principles of intricately forging a generally drama-free experience with keen leadership and a zealous and mighty membership, Azure has striven to guide and support many hundreds of players through every era of Final Fantasy XIV.
With an illustrious history, company lore, impressive statistics, and a model that is adaptable and blessed with innovative ability, Azure Infinitum claims a dominant presence of excellence and player growth that is possible in our community and extended services.
Estate Organization
We have the entire set-up at our estate, from gardens for members and Krakka Root production (free for members' chocobos), to our stables, nicely uniform clean lawn with hangout spots that are popular, with crafting stations, all available NPCs for simple mats and repairs, cut-scene viewer, toybox, triple-triad board, a fully operational and geared fleet of airships and subs, and our Azure Infinitum Assembly Chamber on the top floor for our meetings where announcements are made at our Grand Assemblies. Check it out if you like at Mist Ward 7 Plot 1.
We also have an organized form of gathering for weekly events in the yard, places to relax, food that is always available on tables at our Cellar, and hold a lot of special events and social games at our Hall. We're also conveniently located next to a Market Board and a Retainer Bell outside of our estate.
Communication and Extended Azure Services
We have multiple services of which none are mandatory, but we provide being (azureinfinitum.com) where our Forums, Event Calendar, News, Company Meeting Summaries, Seasonal Merch Giveaways, Contests, Rules Page, and more take place and can be found. We also have a popular and active Discord Server.
We also have a Facebook Group, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Steam Group, (Look us up! Or visit: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/socialmedia/) and Linkshells like our Infinitum Alliance LS for contact and aid from our allies if needed, our Azure Hunters LS for Hunters, and our Azure Industry LS which connects our members to our inner crafting/gathering community for newbies to pros.
Also worthy of mention is our big Company Meetings in-game, known as Azure Infinitum Grand Assemblies. Even though we have several avenues that keep people connected, our live assemblies gather the FC in unity where announcements are made first, and all proposals, ideas, and more, can be decided together live with the Azure Council present.
This network ensures a lot of information and communication gets around and has been exceedingly useful to us.
More On Events
One part of our reputation that often precedes us is our event crafting and hosting.
First, let me make sure its clear that attendance is never mandatory, but those who can make use, when possible, of what we provide each day, benefit from our events each week.
Since our beginning, traditions like our Thursday Treasure Thursdays events have run each week. Our weekly line-up presently begins on Tuesdays post-weekly reset, and consists of Raid Tuesdays, Wondrous Wednesdays (WT Journal Parties, often doubles as Trial Clears and Pony Drops), Treasure Thursdays (Endwalker's timeworn maps with groups of 8 doing up to 3 rounds of maps allowing for up to 24 maps ran), 24-Man Tuesdays (full pre-formed Azure 24-member alliances are made and raids are cleared, will be returning upon the release of EW's 24-man), Super Azure Slayer Sunday (our weekly meetup to do all sorts of PVP content be it Rival Wings or Frontline), and Monstrous Mondays (helps clear the current and previous patch extreme trials).
Special, Seasonal, and Quarterly Events
More info here: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/azureday/)See the latest event news & more at: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/news/)
We also have what we call Special and Quarterly Events. These types of events are Weekend-Long-Events that usually consist of a theme or celebratory social events we craft. During these events we hold big Riddle Races, Costume/Glamour shows and contests, 3-Story Mansion Maze Races, Speedrun Dungeon Races, Hide and Seek games, Custom Quest Events, Discord events like Cards Against Humanity nights, Comedy events, PVP Tournament Circuits, and more.
Our Special and Quarterly events are Azure Day Weekend (Takes place 3 times a year across a weekend, celebrates the FC), Azure Summer Festival (3-days at the end of August in partnership with Child's Play, raises money for children in long-term care, anniversary of historic FC event called the Lunar Rebellion), Anniversary Azure Day (a big weekend event in November that celebrates our Founding), Azure Day Saint's Wake (celebrates Halloween/All Saint's Wake), Azure Starlight Day (celebrating Starlight Day/Christmas/December Holiday Season), Azure Grand Melee and Duel Tournaments (PVP Circuit series crowning our PVP Champions) and more.
Azure Day Weekends
If you've been around our server you may have heard of our Azure Day Weekends. Our Azure Days take place quarterly as mentioned just above, with four evolved editions called Azure Summer Festival, Azure Day Saint's Wake, Azure Starlight Day, and Anniversary Azure Day. With Azure Day Weekends and related events traditionally occuring quarterly our members are always excited to see the next big weekend of crazy and fun social games, and our showering of the free company in gil and prizes galore. We go all out when we celebrate the free company, and Azure Days are another way we find for leadership to give back to the community. 2023 and beyond is now host to additional seasonal Azure Day events!
We're always giving our members a chance to have fun, win big, and make some great memories in the in-game family we've become. Something fun is always on the horizon in Azure.
Community
I almost can't stress enough how friendly our community is. We have a vast variety of members from hardcore gatherers and crafters, social butterflies, chill veterans, experienced raiders, level grinders, support teams, PVP aficionados, mechanic specialists, and mentors. We're also very friendly to all casual players as well and we keep an open door so long as recruits are always aware that we have a no-drama tolerance here.
​Evolution into a Gaming Clan & Network
Plans are in the works and foundations are being laid that is slowly turning our community into a larger gaming network, with our first established Azure Wing with regular occurring activity being founded in Monster Hunter World, this has led to a successful Destiny 2 clan and more. Becoming a member of our Discord and/or Free Company now means access to things like our huge discord, Azure Wing membership in other games, and being able to join in on any of our other activities in the general community. Azure Network as its being called at the moment, is growing with an all-new website and community features for playing together across Final Fantasy XIV and to Azure Skies beyond!
Activity
We rank high as one of the top FC's in Worldwide Activity on lodestone, and have for a long time. Most of our players are divided between the US East and West Coasts, members in East and West Canada, and a few outside the US or in EU or Aus zones. Because we do have an activity policy (mentioned below) we keep a standard flow of people, and have crowds in the early morning, late morning, early afternoon, afternoon, evening, and late night crowds.
Elitism isn't our style. Our community boasts a broad range of characters, great personalities, the proud, and also some silly goofs. But elitism isn't welcome, no matter how successful we are or how large we grow. We're always welcoming towards fresh faces interested in joining our guild, and the in-game activity ranges between 30-60+ online at once during prime time hours, sometimes around 70+ on patch days, and usually always with half the roster logging in throughout a 24 hour period, and around 15-30+ during the night.
Activity Policy
We ask that our members do not go missing without logging in for more than 60 days straight. If we hear word from someone or have some kind of decent excuse, we place our members on our On Vacation rank, which lasts presently until 90 days have passed. Exceptions are made for military deployments, hospital stays, financial issues, disability/health related issues, moving, or other reasons that might fall on a case-by-case basis.
All members not heard from in 60 days (roughly 2 months) or currently 90 days (roughly 3 months) are discharged. We allow 3 joins to Azure Infinitum in total, but exceptions can be made due to reasons listed above. If removed for inactivity, or you've left our FC for another reason and haven't already joined 3 times, you're always welcome back, but please remember, we are not a revolving door.
Keeping our roster full of members who have been online and presently play the game actively ensures an active environment for our players who play often. It also keeps our credits and clerical processes balanced across our network, and allows space for new faces to join our big happy in-game family of comrades.
How to Join
Quick Instructions here for joinin us in FFXIV & more: (https://www.azureinfinitum.com/howtojoinazure/)
If you are interested in joining our Azure Infinitum free company, please register an application at our site and/or FC in-game. You can also seek any of our Scouts, Lieutenants, Officers, or the Master of Azure Infinitum in-game and ask for an invite. You can find their names on the roster page at our website.
If you read everything on this page, you are awesome, and you should let anyone you talk to who recruits you know that you read everything on this page which will greatly expedite your invitation to join.
If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to send a /tell in-game to me or any of our Scouts or Lieutenants listed on our official roster here: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9232519973597911137/membe
You can also message us at our FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/AzureInfinitum
Discord here: https://discord.gg/azureinfinitum
Twitter: https://twitter.com/azureinfinitum
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/azure_infinitum/
Main Site: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/

Hello there fellow NYC music enthusiasts!
I'm on a mission to have the best time of my life at the Strokes concert happening right here in Queens on the 19th of August. However, there's a small hiccup I'm facing that led me here to you, my potential concert partner-in-crime. It seems that most of the good tickets for this much-awaited gig are sold in pairs. So, here I am, reaching out to this amazing community, hoping to find someone (or even a group) to share this electrifying experience with.
Why should you join me, you ask? Well, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm a massive fan of the Strokes, knowing all their songs by heart (so you'll have a live lyric sheet beside you, if you need one!).
The Strokes are known for their exhilarating performances, and I am sure this concert is going to be no exception. Their music has a way of bringing people together, and I think this could be a fantastic opportunity to make some new friends and build some lasting memories.
So, if you're a Strokes fan (or even if you're just someone who enjoys a good concert), and you're looking to make the most of this summer's music scene in NYC, hit me up! Let's grab these tickets, soak in the music, and rock this concert together!
Feel free to PM me if you're interested or have any questions. Let's make this concert a night to remember, shall we?
Rock on! 🤘

Sorry in advance for the long post. I'm rambling a bit but trying to give you a bit of insight to what is going on in my head and why I am avoiding sticking to the plan most people here and on other fire or bogglehead forums use.

Background

I have done some entrepreneurial stuff and have gotten very lucky but for the most part I have little to no real transferable job experiences. I cashed out some of my riskier investments to move to a more stable portfolio but regretting it a bit. I feel there's no real place I want to put my money for long term growth and due to my age I don't have faith in the 4% rule to support me until I die. Really even if I lowered it to 3% the problem is I worry about going through an era of stock price stagnation like many other countries have seen. I gravitate heavily towards cash flowing capital assets.
I don't really have any real job prospects or any type of skills that could get me a 9-5 career with potential for growth. If I did, I would just get a regular job throw everything in VTI and call it a day. I wont get social security at the moment because I never paid into it. Everything ive paid in taxes is considered passive income.
I would look to reeducate myself or do further education but honestly I think the influx of money at this age hurt my work ethic and desire to work. I also simply just don't know what I would enjoy doing for a living or what I enjoy doing in general. I have a bachelors in economics but a low GPA because my mind was on other things during school, which hurts the chance of me getting some sort of further degree.
I was thinking about buying some commercial real estate for the cashflow but im in a HCOL area (suburb of NYC) and not a whole lot you can buy even if I had access to the whole amount so if I bought in another area id be relying on a property manager. Also id be heavily tied to one area and who knows what the real estate market there would be like in 30 or 40 years. Side note I don't like REITs for the most part because of their leverage and would most likely just own mine debt free and treat it like a bond that pays a coupon but has an underlying value that keeps pace with inflation.

Net worth

I have about 1.5mm in cash sitting in a money market account, another 800k in bitcoin Id probably not touch for tax and philosophical reasons. I also have about 1.2mm split between some QOZ funds which I cant really touch for 10 years but unless the fund goes belly up during a construction phase, I should start to receive distributions in a couple years (one of the funds I'm in for 400k is already distributing at about 4% a year). However roughly 400k is owed in taxes on this money in 2027.
If I'm lucky the 1.2mm in OZ funds will appreciate (original estimations are 2x-2.5x in 10 years tax free due to OZ law) but with the current commercial RE market ill be happy if there's no loss of capital across the funds I invested in. I also have about 100k in another real estate bridge loan fund which pays 8% and about 200k equity in a tiny primary residence worth about 500k that id probably just rent out if I upgraded at some point. Sitting on a 3% 30 year fixed mortgage so no reason to pay it off.

Cost of living

With the money market and some other of my investments im probably making around 80k-100k post tax but losing principal in real terms due to inflation. So trying not to use that much money earned.
In general I actually use very little money and have a low cost lifestyle. I mostly spend my money on games and collectibles. I probably only spend $50,000 a year and that includes my mortgage payment but I'm a bit of a hermit and would like to have the ability to spend 100k-120k a year without worrying about eating into principal if at some point I start to travel and see the world more. Anything I didn't spend id just reinvest.
Its also not 100% necessary but at some point id like to upgrade my house because I really only bought it as a starter home while I figured things out. I would probably wait until I saw how my OZ funds panned out until I did that though.
I'm wondering if maybe I just bite the bullet and DCA into VTI over a year or so and try to get a crap job paying very little in the mean time to max out a ROTH while I figure things out. I worry about asset prices if we see a recession or market pullback so if interest rates go up again, maybe DCA at a slower pace?
What would you do if you were in my situation? Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. Just looking for some sort of guidance or path forward.

Hello, kpopthoughts! Originally this was posted in twice but one of my friends said I should crosspost it here — so here this album review is.
​

Intro

To preface the review, I just need to say that this is going to be a very long read. Going through it myself for the fun of it takes around 30 minutes — it's almost 7k words, including lyrical references. So for the best experience, listen to the album beforehand to understand what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this, play the album while reading, and set a good amount of time aside.
And yes, this is 9 months late 😭 I'm not sorry — when I find an album review online it's always around a paragraph per song or even shorter. It makes sense from a journalistic perspective, but I want to do this album justice, hence taking 7 months to write out all my thoughts.
This shit is comprehensive and definitely overanalyzed, especially in Talk that Talk and Trouble. Each song review will compose of my commentary, noting the details I noticed through months of listening, then a conclusion. Also, mild swearing warning, I like implementing a touch of "French" when I'm very emotional about something. Anyway, onto the review!
​
​
​

Between 1&2 💞

Album Review
​
​
​
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED
​
​
​

Talk that Talk 🎙

Producers by collapsedone and MRCH
​
One of the most perfect TWICE songs.
I think this is one of TWICE’s best-sounding title tracks. Warm modulated synths, a thrumming bass line, distant bells, shimmering synths — the purpose of this song is to be fun and my god is it excellent at it, like, Sana and Chaeyoung are saying knock-knock-knock and beep-beep-beep as if they’re some kind of car. So much fun.
Further along in the verse, Dahyun’s voice sounds so full and smooth with that layered harmony. Tzuyu coming with the Yes or Yes, Push & Pull, and 1 to 10 references — these are 5 years of song references. And Jeongyeon closes the pre-chorus accompanied by a rising synth to drop into chorus one. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
The drums accelerate, the synths start blasting, and Jihyo opens to that party of a chorus with her godly vocals,
​

Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
A to Z da malhaebwa
But shijageun ireoke have
Talk that Talk ttak han madi
Talk that Talk L-O-V-E
deullyeojweo ooh
Now now now now now yeah~

​
During Sana's Talk that Talk~ lines there’s this gentle ascending synth bell that rings with the descending melody and it sounds absolutely gorgeous. And the choreography during that part of the chorus is so so so so fun: the talking hands bit, spelling L-O-V-E, concluding with the deullyeojweo ooh! Oh my Jihyo the deullyeojweo ooh…
Have I mentioned this song is fun?
Speeding through verse 2; Chaeyoung’s part with the cat ears popping in the music video is adorable; Momo her stretching her arms out looks so damn cool; and Dahyun with her replay part sounds so lovely — although I think it sonically sounds a touch random, it makes sense thematically.
And now for this pre-chorus. Mina and Jihyo leading into it sound great BUT JEONGYEON… Now, she is my ult bias, and this pre-chorus sounds almost identical to the first one, but the way she holds that final note, inflecting and holding that now~ for one more beat before the chorus drops sounds so perfect — the song teeters on a cliff edge. Jeongyeon slays pre-choruses.
Dropping into the second chorus and man the way Nayeon delivers it just hits different. She has this indescribable “pop” voice (I promise this wasn't on purpose) that shouts out loud that this is THE chorus. This is especially apparent in how both lead their choruses where Jihyo starts at 120% power while Nayeon waits until [Tell me] WHAT YOU WANT to full-send it. The production also helps with this effect, cutting out during what you to emphasize Nayeon's voice before crashing back down, double the pause at Jihyo's intro.
Another deullyeojweo ooh! Nayeon travels to Narnia, and Mina the engineer strikes again in this heavenly, underwater-esque bridge,
​

The simple words “I love you”
That’s all I wanna hear
Without hesitation, I’ll go up to you
I’ll make it simple
And just tell you I love you

​
The word “love” is said for the first time in the song. There’s a funky keyboard instrument behind Chaeyoung’s part. Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon take the initiative in their lyrics, professing their love before closing the bridge.
And now for the pièce-de-résistance: this final double chorus is exceptional — 40 seconds of crack-laced euphoria; Jihyo switches up the chorus and the choreo, Dahyun chimes in with her fluttery Talk that Talk, Momo comes out of nowhere with oh yeah it sounds so good! — you’re damn right it does, and this is where the song SOARS.
​

han beon deo~ haejweo
geurae banggeum geu mal~

​
Nayeon outright shouts Tell me what you need and then Jeongyeon sings the above lines in such an ethereal, warm way where the first line ascends while the second descends, causing a lull in the song before the finale with Tzuyu and Nayeon, finishing off the song with the final deullyeojweo ooh!
What a party. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• The synths of all time
• The chimes during Talk-that-talk~
• Jeongyeon’s pre-chorus going into Nayeon’s chorus
• Rich harmonies and fun ad-libs
• The entirety of that magical final chorus and outro

Needs Work

• The opening hook (Tell me what you want) and accompanying choreography could be “catchier”

Core Memory

• Singing (and dancing) my heart out when this song played at a K-pop club

​
Lyrics and theme-wise, if this were to have been TWICE’s last comeback, they’ve once again built upon the theme they've been doing since debut: a Bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story.
This song’s chorus is honest yet simple; it asks the listener, in this case, the other half of the relationship, to be more upfront and open with their love (never be scared of love), that before the relationship can continue and flourish, there has to be a foundation and commitment of love between each other.
TWICE debuted with a song about making your crush go ooh ahh. Years later, they started pondering What is Love? and imagining their crush responding with Yes when asking them out — and now concluding with the phrase Talk that Talk, [Talk that] L-O-V-E, being upfront with the relationship, wishing their partner to also be happy, to commit to them, to feel the love that they want to impart on them. From gawking like ooh-ahh to talking out your shared love like adults — to having a true relationship between (one and) two.
And can I just say before finishing off Talk that Talk's review that this is such a fun and repeatable song with many little intricacies hidden in the nonet’s vocals and the song's production. This is the third draft I’m writing about Talk that Talk and its original word count pretty much quadrupled.
Harkening back to TWICE’s roots by combining mature thinking with youthful character, an incredible ending to look forward to, and just simply being a club-banger that’s easy to listen to, TTT is an easy 10/10.
​
​
​
WATCH ME GO WATCH ME GO
RULE THE WORLD
​
​
​

Queen of Hearts 👑

Produced by LDN Noise
​
If there was one B-side to promote in a live clip, this was a solid choice.
Helmed by LDN Noise going headlong into the Western boy-group rock-band aesthetic, Queen of Hearts is a boom-boom-clap song through and through. The drums are very prominent throughout the song, only giving room to riffs of electric guitar in the chorus to drive and continue the momentum of the music.
And speaking of the chorus, vocal line each got a chorus to flex and they did not fuck around,
​

You ain’t ready for it
Watch me go~ watch me go~
Rule the world
Know you never doubted baby
I’mma go run the whole universe~

​
Cymbals crashing, drums booming, and 3MIX belting all just so sound so good.
​

Baby I was born to rule~~
Yeah I’m the Queen, I’m the Queen
And it’s all because of you~~
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

​
These long, held-out notes performed by Jihyo and Nayeon are simply exquisite. Along with the shredding guitar, the drum set coming in full, and the interludes by Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung, this is the part of the song that always, always, gives me goosebumps — it sounds so visceral, so energetic, so fun, so triumphant. Boom-boom-clap songs can be hit or miss with people, but there's no denying the payoff from the first part of the chorus to the second part is worth the wait.
The theme of the song so far has been kind of spread around the song. The chorus alludes to it with the line And it’s all because of you. But Mina shows more sides of it in the second verse, especially with the phrase,
​

And now that I’m surrounded by all my girls
We be shining bright like diamonds and pearls

​
It sounds really lovely — in a very cheesy and affectionate kind of way, as it rightfully should — the song is about the girls and their fans. But the bridge is where the song indeed shows its colours
​

Screaming out my name
See it in the stage lights
Feel so lucky just to have ya
Cause I know deep down I was meant for something bigger! Greater!
I know you’re seeing what I see
Yeah I’ll be everything you need
I know I’m gonna walk the walk
And talk the talk to be~ [the Queen of Hearts]

​
This is a song CONCEIVED TO BE PERFORMED FOR THE FANS. It’s meant to be loud. It’s meant to be unapologetic. It’s meant to be sappy. And it’s all the more wonderful for it.
This is the TWICEiest shit ever.
Like Talk that Talk, Queen of Hearts also has a killer closer. The production already started to grow from the bridge, but now the guitarist finally went Super Saiyan and instead of supporting the drums, they both take the centre stage in tandem.
Then finally, the closing moments of the song even manage to squeeze in some more sappiness.
​

So thank you for the memories
You’re all the ones who made me~
So thank you for the memories
That I’m the Queen of Hearts

​
I still can’t believe that this banger is a FAN SONG out of all things. Truly, the TWICEiest shit ever.
​
THE GOOD

• Adorable fucking lyrics
• Unrelenting, roaring chorus
• English and vocal flex
• Intoxicating guitar riffs

Needs Work

• Chaeyoung rapping in English in their Korean songs somehow slaps harder than her English rapping in their English songs, nonetheless, in QoH, it fits with the sound of the song

Core Memory

• Walking home from a K-pop festival with this song playing, felt like a Queen of Hearts

​
I love these types of rock songs with how grunge and head-bang-able they are, there is just a certain nostalgic and cheesy quality to them that feels so cozy. I don’t love putting them on repeat, because in this case, I do believe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Perhaps more shredding, maybe a guitar solo to rock out to, or an accompaniment(!) of ad-libs from 3MIX to support Jihyo’s final chorus? A ONCE can dream of a truly bombastic rock song from TWICE. But then again that distracts from the core of what this song is: a fan song disguised as a rock song.
Queen of Hearts has so much sweetness in its lyrics and message that it's overflowing. The drums, guitar, and vocals can be as loud and intricate as they can, but the theme of this song is what makes it special from TWICE’s other rock songs — it’s a 9/10 for me.
​
​
​
I WANNA WANNA WANNA
TAKE YOU TO THE BASICS
​
​
​

Basics 🌈

Lyrics by Chaeyoung
​
Quite possibly the jammiest (pun intended) song of the album.
A song written by the Strawberry Princess herself — an event similar in frequency to other artists' releases with her last song being 2020’s silky Handle It — Basics first starts with an understated and dreamy delivery. After the first stanza, however, a bouncy Miami bass line emerges, revealing the true nature of the song: this is a classic summer bop! Especially in the first rap,
​

dareun aedeulgwaneun dalla
Ain’t beggin’ for love
nappeun geon anijana ige naraseo
eodiro twilji molla
Like rainbow bubble gum
geureoni nal kkwak butjabadweo

​
Syllables are pronounced in a relaxed nature, bars often starting with an "ah" sound, flirty lines in English — this rap features a production full of pop with R&B flourishes and, in my opinion, this is Chaeyoung’s bag. Also, the line rainbow bubblegum is so adorable and so Chaeyoung.
​

I wanna wanna wanna take it to the Basics
da weonhae weonhae weonhae? seodureuji ma Baby
ppeonhae ppeonhae malhae mweohae da al tende
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah

​
That chorus is pure pop with a Miami bass backing; you better be bopping your head to the melody, if not booty poppin' to the bassline. Chaeyoung loves rhyming in the first half of the chorus to enhance its catchiness and it's damn incredible: wanna, weonhae, and ppeonhae all create these imperfect rhymes that continue momentum without feeling repetitive.
After the very Boy With Luv-sounding ah yeah ah yeah, ah yeah ah yeah comes an 8-bar split half and half between Chaeyoung and Momo. Coming from the chorus, the production completely cuts out for the first 2 bars. This adds tension; the song yearns to have that bass beat thumping again and all we have in the audio space in those 2 bars is Chaeyoung spittin' and she delivered.
​

taneun deut tteugeoun samak wie
yeppeuge pieonan jangmi gata
joshimseure naege dagaol ttae
nado moreuge jjilleobeoril tende

​
Translating to:
​

Above the hot, burning desert
It’s like a rose that bloomed beautifully
When you come to me slowly
I will prick you unconsciously

​
The rap feels slick, effortless, and confident. Her diction remains sharp when enunciating each syllable but she doesn’t let the flow of her rap waver or build as her 4 bars go by, it’s just smooth consistency throughout. Even the lyrics possess an aura of laid-back collectedness that is just so her. The things Chaeyoung can do when given her pen.
​
THE GOOD

• That sweet summer vibe of a chorus
• The spaceship post-chorus is killer
• Chaeyoung devoured this song
• Sure-footed, confident lyrics

Needs Work

• Perhaps an alteration of that ah yeah ah yeah line
• The way Jihyo did her pre-chorus line is good, but Mina’s is great

Core Memory

• After donating my hair, walking down the rainbow-coloured areas of downtown Toronto with this song playing was very… fitting

​
This song is summer bliss distilled into 2:56. It’s dreamy, the raps are satisfying, and the ending is charming. I will say that although the second half of the song adds the stunning spaceship post-choruses and a floaty bridge with an incredible drumbeat drop into the final chorus, the raps of the song make it feel a bit front-loaded. And in an album stacked with awesome finishers, it feels more apparent.
With that said, it’s an 8/10 bop for me. This song is so easy to put on and it feels exactly what Chaeyoung would make if given the reins to produce a pop song all on her own. The lyrics are nonchalant but full of conviction, the wordplay is intricate, and the production playful but not too bombastic — it's just a nice vibe. Songs like Basics are the standard for good, simple, repeatable pop music and I’m happy that Chaeyoung got to test her pen in this genre.
​
​
​
BABY WE’RE IN
TROUBLE TROUBLE
​
​
​

Trouble 💃

Lyrics, vocal direction, and background vocals by Jihyo
Produced by Jihyo and earattack
​
One of the most enjoyable songs I’ve heard in a while.
There is an underlying tension within the first 4 bars of the song, Jihyo and Nayeon confidently open it to a nondescript array of synths and then the stanza ends, Momo announces Let’s go, the beat drops and it hits you: this is a club song.
Dahyun's relaxed delivery contrasting with Jeongyeon's staccato flow, the wobbly synth beat mixed with a sprinkle of house piano, Sana dramatically slowing down the song only for Tzuyu to build it back up until the chorus drops,
​

• Nayeon opens it using a breathy tone, with vocal chops serving as harmonies
• The blooming of the house piano takes centre stage and the song ascends into euphoria
• A random drum roll capped off by a cymbal crash
• Jeongyeon’s growling pronunciation of the word Trouble
• Chaeyoung slyly admitting I like this Trouble
• The entirety of Tzuyu’s tro~oh~oh~ouble yeah~
• Sana using her deep voice for the na~na~na~na
• Jihyo leading the vocals during the synchronized T W I C E chant

​
This chorus is perfect. Toronto’s residential market needs this song injected into its veins because god damn this song has SO much house in it. And then, ANOTHER KILLING PART: this rap fucking slaps.
​

gamchweo bwatja geugeon Fake
ppajin hamjeongeun Sweet cake

​
During the first 2 bars, Chaeyoung is keeping it calm because that trip of a chorus just ended and the song needs a breather, but I don't think anyone expected her to SNAP this hard afterwards:
​

You cannot resist this
Cannot miss this, such a bliss
Ima put it down down
Oh yeah, better kiss kiss

​
Below is the structure of her this portion of the rap, I’m not that well versed in this technical aspect of music theory but I digress, this is all in the span of around 5 seconds where it’s:
​

Triplet-triplet
Quadruplet-triplet
Quadruplet-doublet
Doublet-quadruplet

​
Now, 25/5 = 5 syllables per second isn’t groundbreaking, but goddamn it these 2 bars sound so nice — if there is one part in this album that I always repeat, it’s this. The addition of that first quadruplet for cannot miss this in the midst of the triplets sticks out and accelerates the flow of the rap while the following doublets and quadruplets destabilize and slow the rap down as the verse closes. And can I just point out:
THE MAIN VOCALIST WROTE, DIRECTED, AND COMPOSED THIS SONG ‼
Chaeyoung of course delivered the fuck out of her verse but THIS is what you get when you have a member not only write the words they’re saying but also the melody and flow with which they sing it, when that member knows the others so well that when they write a song they know how to make the group exceed. This is what you get when the artists you stan love doing artist shit.
And. AND. That's not all — with how much I mentioned I love a good outro to close a song, this outro slaps as well:
​

Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble be-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble bay-be
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trouble bay-beh
Woo wee woo wee woo
I like this Trou-ble

​
Like, come on, Nayeon’s imitating a police siren for crying out loud. And this is all after her ad-libs in the final post-chorus; after the pianist going full tilt and playing that piano as if it was their last chance to ever play; after that final T W I C E chant by all the members come these blissful 20 seconds at the very end. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• The theme of relishing in an uncontrolled love
• Sana and Mina’s melody in the pre-chorus
• Whole neighbourhoods full of house
• You cannot resist this, cannot miss this, such a bliss
• Wees and woos

Needs Work

• Mina’s line of falling down, falling down, falling down low in verse 2 feels a bit too abrupt of a change

Core Memory

• While writing Trouble's review I had this song on repeat for my whole subway commute and I must've been so distracting, just head-bopping and being so invested in my enjoyment

​
Need I say more, easy 9/10. The only reason I place Talk that Talk above Trouble is because of what that song represents but besides that, this is one of the best “international” sounds they’ve put out. Actually, I haven’t listened to Eyes wide open in a while but this song is up there with one of the most sonically pleasing pieces of work they’ve done.
Clubbing TWICE has always been a thing since TT was birthed in 2016, and has been a staple of their discography since 2019’s Fancy You and Feel Special mini albums, but Trouble unapologetically dives into and fits the house genre so well you’d think that this is TWICE’s bread and butter sound.
Trouble is Jihyo’s magnum opus. What a song.
​
​
​
BRAVE BRAVE BRAVE
FOR YOU
​
​
​

Brave 💖

Produced by Slow Rabbit
​
I first thought this was just a good song, then I read the lyrics.
Gentle guitar plucks, shimmering synths, a distant keyboard in the right ear, in the left a glockenspiel, the melodic oohs from the members — this song is PRETTY.
​

The night that was unusually dark
Above this terrifying world, felt so lonely
The world has grown in the time of wandering
So hard to breathe

​
Mina and Chaeyoung open the song with how they feel lonely, that it's hard to breathe and now suddenly the song feels bittersweet — I was not expecting the song to become this emotional. Brave describes a situation where the singer is in a darker place in life and it isn't until another person gives them hope by calling them Brave that they find the drive to keep going.
Once the chorus hits, the melodies pick up, more guitars get added — there’s even an electric guitar hidden in the mix somewhere, and the song drops the emotional front to reveal a mid-tempo pop song to dance to while crying in the club. The song as a whole still carries this melancholy feeling, but now with the added support of the chorus, acting as a light amongst the gloom.
Continuing on in the second verse there's this gorgeous, well-placed break in the song that just lets it settle after that chorus. Only a seasoned producer would risk this much empty space in a song and Slow Rabbit went to fill those shoes.
Back to the chorus, I'll take this moment to once again commend Slow Rabbit with the mixing of the song, because 4MIX undoubtedly sounds good in the chorus, and the interludes from Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Mina also sound really good, but the clear highlight of the choruses are these lines:
​

Oh na na na neon nal naige hae
On and on and on
Brave Brave Brave for ya
Oh na na na neon nal sum shwige hae
On and on and on oh trust me babe

​
Momo, Sana, and Tzuyu form this beautiful, surprisingly catchy, second half of the chorus accompanied by a guitar drop. It should not turn out this well with how conflicting the "na"s are with the guitar melody but it creates this gentle bopping ebb and flow that feels so lush and mellow.
Diving into the bridge reveals that the listener of the song is revealed not only capable of supporting the singer through direct words but also through their thoughts and dreams. As can be discerned, this can be a song interpreted to be about ONCEs, about how they push TWICE to be their best selves despite the breathless hardships they face. It's a very sweet and touching song.
​
THE GOOD

• Special lyrics
• Pleasant sound to vibe out to
• That gentle break after the first chorus
• 3MIX poppin' off at the end
• Just very pretty vocals throughout

Needs Work

• Potentially hard to comprehend without translating the Korean lyrics

Core Memory

• Form of Therapy’s life motto revolves around the word “brave” — I don’t know where I got that from, but I remembered it right before watching his album reaction (yes, this is very random)

​
I’m actually spoiled with the TWICE members’ easy-to-understand songwriting that when a song like this pops up where it's not written by a member and the thematic bits are mostly in Korean, I tend to put it aside in favour of the other songs on the album. And, especially for a song focusing on a theme like this where the English phrases don’t do the Korean lyrics enough justice, it does place a bit of a barrier on the listening experience, dropping it down to a 7/10 from an 8/10.
With that anecdote out of the way, this song is just such a vibe, man. I know that sounds super hippy to say but Brave is so mellow and smooth that I can’t help but sway a little when that chorus hits. And then I remember what the lyrics say and I tear up a bit on the inside. This song is so pure, raw, and full of heart — we need more songs like these where they just reminisce about life while putting up an upbeat front. Don't mind me just crying while dancing the night away.
With that said, this isn't the first time this theme has been sung by TWICE either, they've long trodden this path of supportive, confiding, up-lifting songs with Young & Wild, Rainbow, Queen, Go Hard, Depend on You, even this album's Queen of Hearts, and, of course, Feel Special. Brave just adds another on top of an already stacked lineup, unique with its mellow somberness.
Also now feels like a good time to get into my rating system:

• 7/10s are songs are ones that are simply good throughout or great songs with apparent flaws
• 8/10s are great songs with distinct killing parts
• 9/10s are borderline perfect songs where I sometimes can't comprehend how great they are
• And 10/10s are the best of an artist's discography, songs that encapsulate their ethos perfectly or expand upon them in a meaningful way

​
​
​
I SEE THE LIES
ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE
​
​
​

Gone 💨

Lyrics by Dahyun
​
Who the fuck pissed off Dubu this time??
It’s getting quite rare to see TWICE pull off brand new sounds because, with now 190 original songs under their belt as of this review, they’ve done so many genres and sub-genres varying from hyper pop, to bossa nova, to whatever 2020’s Go Hard is. So it’s surprising to see they’ve still got tricks up their sleeves and Gone is one of them.
The song starts with strings swinging back and forth and vocal chops dancing from ear to ear, teasing what’s yet to come. Jihyo enters the song with a whisper and the song sets its pace. A stagnant drum pad moves the song along and typical song progression would have Mina continue the build, but — it doesn’t. The song simmers, adding a hint of high hat to the pot. And then Sana and Tzuyu come on and surely the buildup must boil over right?
Silence, until…
​

I see the LIES on the top of your tongue

​
The strings emerge again on full blast, the simmer rolls to a boil, and the anger of the song is revealed,
​

All the fate I had towards you
Fades like a fog, Gone, Gone
Your flipping mind of doing this and that
I’m tired of it, it’s meaningless
In the beginning, it was hard to believe
With that, hatred increases

​
The singer is so scorned and burned from this relationship that they reminisce about all the effort they’ve put in since the beginning, but their “partner” is so unconcerned that they’ve just about had enough of the relationship altogether.
This has been Dahyun’s thing since 2020’s Bring It Back, 2021’s Cruel, 2022’s That’s all I’m saying, and even 2023's Don't Blame It On Me — emotionally charged breakup songs that make you feel as if she’s survived through a dozen bad relationships. Dispatch, do try to do your job better.
Another highlight of the song is the post-chorus going into the bridge. This segment reiterates the structure from the first post-chorus — a barrage of drums supported by the rhythmic strumming of a bass guitar along with a consistent synth filling out the soundscape. But this time, it’s Dahyun and Chaeyoung on the rap:
​

I can’t stand it anymore
My patience, invisible
I can’t find it, it’s all Gone
Even if I try to turn back, it’s too late
There’s no use anymore
It has left, it’s long Gone
You, with flipping mind, you are out
I know that you know what I’m talking about
Nothing you could say that could turn this around
I’m Gone

​
Building upon the disrespected theme of the song, Dahyun notes that she’s finally had enough with Chaeyoung adding that there’s no point salvaging what love was once there. Momo and Dahyun round it off by telling the listener that there’s no point trying to reason with them or playing naive, they fucked up and there’s no coming back.
Can I just say, it's a bit of a shame that Chaeyoung’s rapping popped off in this album while Dahyun only has this one verse that she shares with Chaeyoung, but it just sounds so good how Dahyun eases in after the chorus with her light rapping tone transitioning into her singing. She even holds the Gone in a little crescendo for some added pizzazz.
And, there’s no way I’m not going to talk about Momo’s vocals in this bridge. Damned if she only got 1 line to use it in, her lower register is incredible. She sounds so smooth singing in this tone. All of TWICE do in particular and there is nary a weak vocal performance in this album.
To close the song off, a wash of synths gets to have their shine in the spotlight, showered with Nayeon’s belting, signifying the dramatic and drawn-out conclusion of this partnership.
​
THE GOOD

• They’ve still got their surprises
• Thundering chorus
• 2nd rap and bridge combo
• A bitter, crumbling relationship theme

Needs Work

• I’m not a huge fan of the mixing during the first post-chorus, where Momo's vocals were fighting with the production, which is disappointing because Momo is capable of an insane flow
• The post-chorus in general, specifically the first one, can be a bit tiring on repeat listens

Core Memory

• Actually, I think this song sounds like a mix between GOT7's Not By The Moon, BLACKPINK’s Love To Hate Me, and Dahyun’s Bring It Back. I don’t know where I got this thought came from, but it stuck

​
Going back to that point about the first post-chorus as a whole; songs that have the production continue unchanged into the post-chorus/2nd verse are very hit or miss for me — see TWICE's Don't Call Me Again for an overbearing example. The post-chorus going into the bridge contrasts Dahyun’s light tone nicely with the hard-hitting production, continuing the energy until it slowly fades into silence at the end of the bridge.
Back to the song as a whole, as much as TWICE has been experimenting with their sound for the past 4 years now, I’m happy they’re still finding new ways to explore what they’re capable of. And for that alone, even though I’m not a big fan of songs like these where they rely on sounding “big”, Dahyun’s lyricism and the thrill I receive every time I indulge myself in this song elevates it to an 8/10. Keep on breaking hearts, Dubu.
​
​
​
INVINCIBLE
SUPERHEROES
​
​
​

When We Were Kids 🧸

Lyrics by Dahyun
​
Press play to reminisce, pull up lyrics to cry.
This song is so beautiful. I’m totally not writing this song review, crying on the bus reminiscing about my childhood, while just having turned 21. I don’t know if these are happy or sad tears but this song is so beautiful either way.
Warm synths, muted piano, a gentle high hat, the younger members starting off the song — this has to be up there for one of the softest TWICE songs ever. And as it should, it’s one of the TWICEiest songs ever. And then Nayeon comes in:
​

Invincible superheroes, we wanted to be adults
To the higher, clearer world

​
The chords start swelling, the high hat keeps pace, and the harmonies pour in.
​

Remember When We Were Kids
When We Were Kids, we didn’t know
If we could go back
I will love it even more
Remember When We Were Kids

​
Jihyo takes up the second half of the chorus as it drops, trading the strings for an almost R&B synth production — if choir R&B takes off, this song started it. The song relishes in this cacophony of warm sounds until returning to its sparse and peaceful verses.
This time, the hints of piano are louder, little twinkling synths begin to shimmer, the drum buildup comes and Jeongyeon drives the song straight into the chorus. No time for the strings to build like in Nayeon’s — this song loves its chorus so much.
And I'll just take this time to appreciate the amount and range of Jeongyeon vocals in this album. Her voice is so textured, stable, and projected — but also more tender and soft compared to the more pronounced tones of Nayeon and Jihyo.
The bridge comes in, repeating the phrase:
​

I wish that I could meet
Could meet the younger me

​
Giving the song time to rest, before building back up to the last chorus — this time led by Jihyo, completing the 3MIX trifecta. And interestingly enough, Chaeyoung follows up in the second half of the chorus, rather than another member of the vocal line. She really did pop off in this album.
As the last chorus begins to close, the percussion at its strongest, the harmonies on blast, the background vocals cranked up to their Sunday best, is the song going to end? Of course not! This is an album full of banger endings as if the songs don’t want to end, and When We Were Kids being the album closer very much indulges in that feeling.
After a brief refrain, accented by Nayeon’s high note with a touch of vibrato, the song almost dives back into a fourth chorus. Nayeon and Jeongyeon harmonize — a rare and heavenly moment. And the song repeats the bridge, reiterating that they want to meet their younger selves, this time with the lush chorus production before closing with silence, a few piano notes, and Tzuyu singing the last line of the song:
​

Oh, we were kids

​
Reflection, acceptance, hope. What a song.
​
THE GOOD

• Heavenly vocals throughout
• Relatable, heartfelt lyrics
• Euphoric chorus
• Great closer to the album

Needs Work

• Refrain after the last chorus, Back When We Were Kids, could’ve been executed better

Core Memory

• For an album titled Between 1&2, I don’t think anything hits harder than finishing the song reviews, with this song in particular, during your 21st birthday

​
I wrote the first part of this review in November 2022. Then university, life, and other things got in the way of my headspace for me to feel confident about wrapping all of this up. In a way, I felt like I just didn’t want this review to end because of the joy that writing gives me — I didn’t want the happiness to end. And then it hit me, after watching a YouTuber rank animated movies and them placing Spirited Away at the top and explaining 'why' reminded me of just how important growing up is, and by extension this song.
This theme is important for both the rookie TWICE members in 2015 and the teenagers who would follow their journey and grow up with them, facing life’s obstacles along the way. Hardships that used to only involve family, crushes, and social media, evolve into work, commitments and all the struggles that adult life brings. Being a kid and enjoying the simple things in life is one of the most sought-after moments we want to relive because we took growing up for granted. The only thing we can do now is look back on ourselves with fondness and rose-tinted lenses.
TWICE’s original meaning was to resonate with people through their senses and their hearts. That was during their debut, and I think it still holds up today. In my opinion, touching people through their emotions is what TWICE does best and makes them one of K-pop’s all-time greats. It was never about having the best numbers — it was about being the best idols. And to think that this journey of maturation and growth would occur from 2015 all the way to this song, being a fitting nod to TWICE’s 7th anniversary, I don’t think anyone at the company nor the group would ever imagine that they would get this far. It’s these nine women or none — 9/10.
This song honestly deserves a 10/10 with how much I noticed other people reminiscing their childhoods after I heard this song, it is such a widely-relatable message, but I am determined to limit myself to one 10/10 song per album and if I were to pick between TTT and WWWK, I'd give it to the one's that's more repeatable — Talk that Talk just has this electric energy about it.
​
​
​

Epilogue

And finally here is the end. If you made it in one sitting then I commend you, because I could not write this mess in one sitting. As alluded to, I started writing this album review sometime in October, after a series of edits the first draft was finished in March, and now here's the final draft in June.
I love this album. It got me through some important parts of my life, both good and bad, and it's just a wonderful listen throughout. Reliving this album again before finally completing the review has been an exciting journey. Brave hit me harder this time, after being overshadowed by the other gems of this album, and WWWK finally got me to tear up and not just be emotionally satisfied.
I feel like there's something for everyone on this album. From the exhilarating thrills of TTT to the anthemic euphoria of QoH, the clubbing dichotomy of Trouble and Brave to the blissful glee of Basics, and the sweet reminiscence of WWWK to the thundering anger that is Gone. Like Eyes wide open, I liken Between 1&2 to a pop music taste platter — there's such an eclectic mix of pop music in this album that there's bound to be a song that someone will love, like, and dislike.
Is this album perfect? I don't think so, but it's close — it was certainly my 2022 AOTY. Was this review biased? Absolutely. I've been a fan since 2019 and with the themes in this album, I also feel like it was biased towards me as a ONCE. And how would I rank the album in TWICE's catalogue? It's honestly at the top, at least with EPs — I also felt that way towards Feel Special but then this album was birthed so I'm excited for TWICE's future.
Ready To Be was also a stunning album and Eyes wide open frankly also deserved the spotlight that Formula of Love received so I might hit those next but no promises; this album took long enough to bake.
As for the performances, I've only seen Twitter clips (no fancams to not spoil myself) and I am SO EXCITED to finally see them in July. QoH was as glorious as expected, Brave was a delightful surprise, and WWWK, while not being the concert closer everyone expected it to be, paired up nicely with Crazy Stupid Love. And of course the bombastic addition of the dance break to TTT. But, this is not a concert review, and here is where this album review ends.
Feel free to comment with any thoughts regarding the album, other TWICE albums, and any suggestions for my writing in general. Congrats again on making it this far!
God, I love this album.

___________________________________________________
Taken from http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/12/14/when_jesus_met_buddha/ for the intellectual discussion purposely. Not for commercial gain
When Jesus met Buddha Something remarkable happened when evangelists for two great religions crossed paths more than 1,000 years ago: they got along By Philip Jenkins December 14, 2008
While few mainline Christians would put the matter in such confrontational terms, any religion claiming exclusive access to truth has real difficulties reconciling other great faiths into its cosmic scheme. Most Christian churches hold that Jesus alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and many also feel an obligation to carry that message to the world's unbelievers. But this creates a fundamental conflict with the followers of famous spiritual figures like Mohammed or Buddha, who preached radically different messages. Drawing on a strict interpretation of the Bible, some Christians see these rival faiths as not merely false, but as deliberate traps set by the forces of evil.
Being intolerant of other religions - consigning them to hell, in fact - may be bad enough in its own right, but it increasingly has real- world consequences. As trade and technology shrink the globe, so different religions come into ever-closer contact with one another, and the results can be bloody: witness the apocalyptic assaults in Mumbai. In such a world, teaching different faiths to acknowledge one another's claims, to live peaceably together side by side, stops being a matter of good manners and becomes a prerequisite for human survival.
Over the past 30 years, the Roman Catholic Church has faced repeated battles over this question of Christ's uniqueness, and has cracked down on thinkers who have made daring efforts to accommodate other world religions. While the Christian dialogue with Islam has attracted most of the headlines, it is the encounters with Hinduism and especially Buddhism that have stirred the most controversy within the church. Sri Lankan theologians Aloysius Pieris and Tissa Balasuriya have had many run-ins with Vatican critics, and, more recently, the battle has come to American shores. Last year, the Vatican ordered an investigation of Georgetown University's Peter Phan, a Jesuit theologian whose main sin, in official eyes, has been to treat the Buddhism of his Vietnamese homeland as a parallel path to salvation.
Following the ideas of Pope Benedict XVI, though, the church refuses to give up its fundamental belief in the unique role of Christ. In a widely publicized open letter to Italian politician Marcello Pera, Pope Benedict declared that "an inter-religious dialogue in the strict sense of the term is not possible." By all means, he said, we should hold conversations with other cultures, but not in a way that acknowledges other religions as equally valid. While the Vatican does not of course see the Buddha as a demon, it does fear the prospect of syncretism, the dilution of Christian truth in an unholy mixture with other faiths.
Beyond doubt, this view places Benedict in a strong tradition of Christianity as it has developed in Europe since Roman times. But there is another, ancient tradition, which suggests a very different course. Europe's is not the only version of the Christian faith, nor is it necessarily the oldest heir of the ancient church. For more than 1,000 years, other quite separate branches of the church established thriving communities across Asia, and in their sheer numbers, these churches were comparable to anything Europe could muster at the time. These Christian bodies traced their ancestry back not through Rome, but directly to the original Jesus movement of ancient Palestine. They moved across India, Central Asia, and China, showing no hesitation to share - and learn from - the other great religions of the East.
Just how far these Christians were prepared to go is suggested by a startling symbol that appeared on memorials and stone carvings in both southern India and coastal China during the early Middle Ages. We can easily see that the image depicts a cross, but it takes a moment to realize that the base of the picture - the root from which the cross is growing - is a lotus flower, the symbol of Buddhist enlightenment.
In modern times, most mainstream churches would condemn such an amalgam as a betrayal of the Christian faith, an example of multiculturalism run wild. Yet concerns about syncretism did not bother these early Asian Christians, who called themselves Nasraye, Nazarenes, like Jesus's earliest followers. They were comfortable associating themselves with the other great monastic and mystical religion of the time, and moreover, they believed that both lotus and cross carried similar messages about the quest for light and salvation. If these Nazarenes could find meaning in the lotus-cross, then why can't modern Catholics, or other inheritors of the faith Jesus inspired?
Many Christians are coming to terms with just how thoroughly so many of their fundamental assumptions will have to be rethought as their faith today becomes a global religion. Even modern church leaders who know how rapidly the church is expanding in the global South tend to see European values and traditions as the indispensable norm, in matters of liturgy and theology as much as music and architecture.
Yet the reality is that Christianity has from its earliest days been an intercontinental faith, as firmly established in Asia and Africa as in Europe itself. When we broaden our scope to look at the faith that by 800 or so stretched from Ireland to Korea, we see the many different ways in which Christians interacted with other believers, in encounters that reshaped both sides. At their best, these meetings allowed the traditions not just to exchange ideas but to intertwine in productive and enriching ways, in an awe-inspiring chapter of Christian history that the Western churches have all but forgotten.
To understand this story, we need to reconfigure our mental maps. When we think of the growth of Christianity, we think above all of Europe. We visualize a movement growing west from Palestine and Syria and spreading into Greece and Italy, and gradually into northern regions. Europe is still the center of the Catholic Church, of course, but it was also the birthplace of the Protestant denominations that split from it. For most of us, even speaking of the "Eastern Church" refers to another group of Europeans, namely to the Orthodox believers who stem from the eastern parts of the continent. English Catholic thinker Hilaire Belloc once proclaimed that "Europe is the Faith; and the Faith is Europe."
But in the early centuries other Christians expanded east into Asia and south into Africa, and those other churches survived for the first 1,200 years or so of Christian history. Far from being fringe sects, these forgotten churches were firmly rooted in the oldest traditions of the apostolic church. Throughout their history, these Nazarenes used Syriac, which is close to Jesus' own language of Aramaic, and they followed Yeshua, not Jesus. No other church - not Roman Catholics, not Eastern Orthodox - has a stronger claim to a direct inheritance from the earliest Jesus movement.
The most stunningly successful of these eastern Christian bodies was the Church of the East, often called the Nestorian church. While the Western churches were expanding their influence within the framework of the Roman Empire, the Syriac-speaking churches colonized the vast Persian kingdom that ruled from Syria to Pakistan and the borders of China. From their bases in Mesopotamia - modern Iraq - Nestorian Christians carried out their vast missionary efforts along the Silk Route that crossed Central Asia. By the eighth century, the Church of the East had an extensive structure across most of central Asia and China, and in southern India. The church had senior clergy - metropolitans - in Samarkand and Bokhara, in Herat in Afghanistan. A bishop had his seat in Chang'an, the imperial capital of China, which was then the world's greatest superpower.
When Nestorian Christians were pressing across Central Asia during the sixth and seventh centuries, they met the missionaries and saints of an equally confident and expansionist religion: Mahayana Buddhism. Buddhists too wanted to take their saving message to the world, and launched great missions from India's monasteries and temples. In this diverse world, Buddhist and Christian monasteries were likely to stand side by side, as neighbors and even, sometimes, as collaborators. Some historians believe that Nestorian missionaries influenced the religious practices of the Buddhist religion then developing in Tibet. Monks spoke to monks.
In presenting their faith, Christians naturally used the cultural forms that would be familiar to Asians. They told their stories in the forms of sutras, verse patterns already made famous by Buddhist missionaries and teachers. A stunning collection of Jesus Sutras was found in caves at Dunhuang, in northwest China. Some Nestorian writings draw heavily on Buddhist ideas, as they translate prayers and Christian services in ways that would make sense to Asian readers. In some texts, the Christian phrase "angels and archangels and hosts of heaven" is translated into the language of buddhas and devas.
One story in particular suggests an almost shocking degree of collaboration between the faiths. In 782, the Indian Buddhist missionary Prajna arrived in Chang'an, bearing rich treasures of sutras and other scriptures. Unfortunately, these were written in Indian languages. He consulted the local Nestorian bishop, Adam, who had already translated parts of the Bible into Chinese. Together, Buddhist and Christian scholars worked amiably together for some years to translate seven copious volumes of Buddhist wisdom. Probably, Adam did this as much from intellectual curiosity as from ecumenical good will, and we can only guess about the conversations that would have ensued: Do you really care more about relieving suffering than atoning for sin? And your monks meditate like ours do?
These efforts bore fruit far beyond China. Other residents of Chang'an at this very time included Japanese monks, who took these very translations back with them to their homeland. In Japan, these works became the founding texts of the great Buddhist schools of the Middle Ages. All the famous movements of later Japanese history, including Zen, can be traced to one of those ancient schools and, ultimately - incredibly - to the work of a Christian bishop.
By the 12th century, flourishing churches in China and southern India were using the lotus-cross. The lotus is a superbly beautiful flower that grows out of muck and slime. No symbol could better represent the rise of the soul from the material, the victory of enlightenment over ignorance, desire, and attachment. For 2,000 years, Buddhist artists have used the lotus to convey these messages in countless paintings and sculptures. The Christian cross, meanwhile, teaches a comparable lesson, of divine victory over sin and injustice, of the defeat of the world. Somewhere in Asia, Yeshua's forgotten followers made the daring decision to integrate the two emblems, which still today forces us to think about the parallels between the kinds of liberation and redemption offered by each faith.
Christianity, for much of its history, was just as much an Asian religion as Buddhism. Asia's Christian churches survived for more than a millennium, and not until the 10th century, halfway through Christian history, did the number of Christians in Europe exceed that in Asia.
What ultimately obliterated the Asian Christians were the Mongol invasions, which spread across Central Asia and the Middle East from the 1220s onward. From the late 13th century, too, the world entered a terrifying era of climate change, of global cooling, which severely cut food supplies and contributed to mass famine. The collapse of trade and commerce crippled cities, leaving the world much poorer and more vulnerable. Intolerant nationalism wiped out Christian communities in China, while a surging militant Islam destroyed the churches of Central Asia.
But awareness of this deep Christian history contributes powerfully to understanding the future of the religion, as much as its past. For long centuries, Asian Christians kept up neighborly relations with other faiths, which they saw not as deadly rivals but as fellow travelers on the road to enlightenment. Their worldview differed enormously from the norms that developed in Europe.
To take one example, we are used to the idea of Christianity operating as the official religion of powerful states, which were only too willing to impose a particular orthodoxy upon their subjects. Yet when we look at the African and Asian experience, we find millions of Christians whose normal experience was as minorities or even majorities within nations dominated by some other religion. Struggling to win hearts and minds, leading churches had no option but to frame the Christian message in the context of non-European intellectual traditions. Christian thinkers did present their message in the categories of Buddhism - and Taoism, and Confucianism - and there is no reason why they could not do so again. When modern scholars like Peter Phan try to place Christianity in an Asian and Buddhist context, they are resuming a task begun at least 1,500 years ago.
Perhaps, in fact, we are looking at our history upside down. Some day, future historians might look at the last few hundred years of Euro- American dominance within Christianity and regard it as an unnatural interlude in a much longer story of fruitful interchange between the great religions.
Consider the story told by Timothy, a patriarch of the Nestorian church. Around 800, he engaged in a famous debate with the Muslim caliph in Baghdad, a discussion marked by reason and civility on both sides. Imagine, Timothy said, that we are all in a dark house, and someone throws a precious pearl in the midst of a pile of ordinary stones. Everyone scrabbles for the pearl, and some think they've found it, but nobody can be sure until day breaks.
In the same way, he said, the pearl of true faith and wisdom had fallen into the darkness of this transitory world; each faith believed that it alone had found the pearl. Yet all he could claim - and all the caliph could say in response - was that some faiths thought they had enough evidence to prove that they were indeed holding the real pearl, but the final truth would not be known in this world.
Knowing other faiths firsthand grants believers an enviable sophistication, founded on humility. We could do a lot worse than to learn from what we sometimes call the Dark Ages.
Philip Jenkins is Edwin Erle Sparks professor of the humanities at Penn State University. He is author of "The Lost History of Christianity: The Thousand-Year Golden Age of the Church in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia -- and How It Died," published last month.
© Copyright 2008 Globe Newspaper Company.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/12/14/when_jesus_met_buddha/

So mine for example.
E. Honda Style
Hundred Hand Slaps
Sumo Drop
Spinning Pile Driver
Shoryuken
Yoga Flame
Cammys Aerial Dive Kick.
E.Hondas Level 1, Lukes Level 2, E.Hondas Level 3.
Accessories that boost Punch/Throw/Unique are fine. Take all the health on the skill tree.
Sumo drop is always plus, so it's scary with SPD. Fullscreen you can fully charge yoga flame light to have a 2 hit slow projectile to follow behind. You can also just send out the non-charged version and dive kick in with timing. Shoryuken as a get the hell off me tool should you need it (most of the time you don't and Hondas Heavy Punch is a perfectly fine anti-air too)
You could easily swap out Shoryuken for the Honda buff.
This leads to a character that has many ways to get in, he won't win a zoning war but can cover himself at least, good at throwing hands and when people lock up, they get giefed.

Part 4
Day 14

**Chloe and Fred stood guard by the doorway to the stairs, their guns trained on it. Multiple screeches could be heard upstairs and slowly carefully they both started going up. SCREECH! One of the hounds appeared** **Fred looked like he was going to argue but he lowered his head and nodded.** **“Wait, where's mom?” I asked the worry heavy in my voice.** **Fred looked down somberly and Gretchen started sobbing.** **“N… no sh… she’s… she can’t be dead.” I stammered out.** **“I’m sorry Joey, if I could’ve done something I would’ve.” He apologized.** **I looked down in despair beginning to fill my very soul. My mom, the person who’d raised me, was gone. She was gone forever. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes and Chloe gave me another tight hug.** **SLAM! The pile of junk against the door rattled and one of the boys screamed. Chloe let out a small yelp and then we all stood there in silence. SLAM! This time it was followed by a cracking sound.** **“They’re going to get in,” Fred growled, “We all need to be quiet.”** **We all sat there for a moment as the things tried, again and again, to break through, but finally, they stopped. Fred turned back to us and his eyes went wide.** **“Y’all need to get patched up real quick.” He said.** **The next few minutes were a stress-filled roller coaster. Chloe sat me down on the couch and ran to the bathroom to get the medical supplies, and she also got the sewing kit. I thought getting my back and leg stitched up while still conscious was painful, but what I felt that day I never want to feel again. I felt the needle go in and out of my face. I felt my face slowly begin to pull back together, and it was all excruciating. While Fred did his work Chloe had to sit there and cover my mouth to hold back my screams. Even through the pain and the tears in my eyes, I could see she was also crying. Finally, after what seemed like an eon he finished the last stitch and was done.** **Then he started with Chloe. I was too weak to sit up, but I held her hand as he quickly stitched up her shoulder. With each stroke of the needle, I saw the pain in her face. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he finished his work. We were all patched up, but oh I wish that could’ve fixed the sorrow we felt.** **Chloe helped me walk to our bedroom to finally get some shut-eye. My whole body hurt and ached and it all felt broken. She sat me down on the bed and gave me a grim look. She looked tired and worn. Her normally straight hair was a curly mess and little specks of dried blood were about her face.** **“I suppose you need to get changed.” She said, looking at me.** **I looked down at my still blood-soaked clothes and then back at her.** **“I suppose I do,” I said, a little embarrassed that she would have to help me.** **Once we were both settled I finally laid down with Chloe crawling into bed next to me.** **“I’m so happy you’re ok,” I said, leaning forward and kissing her.** **She smiled but it quickly faded, “Joey I’m scared.”** **“I know, I’m too, we just have…” I started but she interrupted me.** **“It just… I don’t know what’s going on. It shouldn’t be snowing still. It's almost May.” She said, her eyes tearing up, “I’ve been trying to stay strong, but I just can’t anymore. I'm scared.”** **“Chloe, it’s ok to be scared. I’m terrified.” I told her.** 

“I… I have to be the brave one,” She said.
“No, you don’t, you can just be the wonderful person I love. I don’t care if you’re scared or afraid I love you.” I said, pulling her into a tight hug.
She started crying, totally sobbing is probably a better word.
“I don’t want to lose you,” She sobbed.
“I’ll be ok, I promise.” I tried to say but she wasn’t hearing me so I just held her tightly while she sobbed.
Finally, after a long while of crying, she pulled away and looked at me.
“Can I tell you what happened?” She asked shyly.
“Yes of course,” I said, knowing that venting always helped.
And so she finally told me what had happened that day in the Garrison’s house. Every little detail. When she finally finished I felt a shiver go down my spine.
“I’m sorry,” Was all I could manage to say.
She didn’t say anything else, she just cuddled up next to me and cried softly into my shoulder. I gently ran my hand through her hair and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Day 15

**We spent the early morning preparing supplies and everything we needed then finally around noon we loaded the jeep.** **“Chloe, I’m going to get the snowplow you stay here and keep everyone safe.” He said quietly.** **“Ok, be careful,” She said, all too happy that the man wasn’t expecting her to come with him.** **Fred slowly made his way upstairs quietly and carefully creeping one step at a time. Each step he took felt like a marathon. His heart was beating so fast he thought it might burst. One step, then another, then another still, and despite his fear he finally made it upstairs.** **It looked just the way he’d seen it the evening before. Thrown around with the creeper’s large body lying near him. The massive amounts of blood around it had frozen making a large icy sheet on the carpet.** **He couldn’t help but look at the body. Its black exoskeleton reminded him of beetles. It was smooth with no color variation. There were small gaps around the joints and the legs had more exposed flesh than the exoskeleton. He looked at the small gap where the back met the thighs. He drove his fingers into the gap and started peeling the section of the exoskeleton off. It peeled nicely until he got to a certain point where it wouldn’t budge. Annoyed, he walked away and towards the front door. A frozen trail of Gretchen’s blood was still visible and partially buried in snow was my mom’s body. Fred grimaced at the sight and hurriedly continued onward. The quickest route to the snowplow lot was through a few backyards.** 

The fences were mostly buried and at this point only stood 6 inches or so out of the snow. Stepping over them was easy, and they hardly hindered his path. What did begin to hinder his path was the storm. It howled and screamed at him throwing all the snow and wind it could at him. It reminded him of an angry toddler throwing their food at you. It was odd but that was the best way to put the storm. It was angry, very angry, and he didn’t know why.
Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Fred stopped and slowly scanned his surroundings to see where the sound had come from but he saw nothing. He wasn’t sure why he looked; he could barely see his hand if he held it out. He guessed it was out of instinct but he wasn’t sure. He stood there listening but whatever had made the sound seemed to have also stopped. He was somewhat confused because that wasn’t really what the creatures sounded like on snow. Nor did it sound like other animals he knew. Suddenly a thought crept into his head, and in a either very dumb or very intelligent move, he spoke.
“Who’s there?” He asked in as loud and as stern of a voice as he could muster.
There was a small pause of silence and right as Fred began to worry he’d made a mistake he heard something on four legs sprint off in the other direction. Must’ve been a deer he thought a little annoyed that he’d thought even for a moment that it was a person. He continued onward with even more caution. He kept the shotgun up constantly now worrying something would sneak up on him. He couldn’t control his now-shaking body despite how much he tried to calm himself.
He stopped walking and started taking deep breaths. In and out. In and out. He said to himself as he did the breathing exercises. After a minute he pulled himself together enough to continue. He walked on and on for what seemed like an eon before finally he arrived. He saw the large building ahead of him. It was a large warehouse-type building with multiple massive garage doors on the sides.
He saw a normal-sized door the size of the building and pulled at the handle. Locked! Of course, it was locked. Slam! The first kick shook the door. Slam! The second it started to cave slightly. Slam! Crash! The door toppled onto the ground and Fred walked into the building, gun raised and ready for a fight.
Chloe sat on the couch eyeing the stairs to the first floor. The responsibility to keep everyone safe was now on her, and she was determined to do that. All she could think about was the monsters outside and likely right upstairs. For all, she knew they were right upstairs conspiring to kill them. She didn’t know how right she was.
CRASH! The window in the window well next to her burst open sending shards of glass all around.
“What’s going on?” Gretchen asked from the other room.
“Babe?” I asked in a worried frenzy.
She pulled herself from the ground in a daze. She felt odd then she felt a wetness begin trickling down her face. She’d been cut up pretty well in a few places on her face. Before she could think of anything else SCREECH!
She looked over and saw a hound crawling in through the now-shattered window. Shoot where’s the gun? She thought scanning the room. Her eyes scanned until they met the semi-automatic. She’d set it on the couch right where the hound was crawling through. She dove for the gun but its large clawed foot slammed onto the gun pinning it under the beast. Darn, it! Slowly she eyed the creature as it pulled itself in. It was just standing there watching her, it seemed very odd and not normal behavior. Then a faint ticking sound came from outside. SCREECH! It charged for her and she pulled her knife. BANG! The blast threw the hound off balance slamming it into the ground. She found herself looking over to see Gretchen wielding the smoking shotgun.
Chloe was about to thank her when the thing got back up changing its course for Gretchen. BANG! The second shot hit the thing square in the face and it screeched in anger and pain. Chloe took the opportunity and jumped atop the thing plunging the knife deep into one of the eye sockets. It screeched again and jumped up, throwing Chloe off with the knife still wedged in its eye. In the meantime, Gretchen reloaded the shotgun BANG! She shot it in the face again, but it only seemed to anger the thing.
“LEGS!” Chloe screamed, pulling herself off the floor.
At the same moment, Gretchen pulled the trigger and two more hounds started their way through the window.
The shot hit the first hound square in one of the back legs, shattering it, and the two hounds were already halfway through the window.
Fred walked into the building relieved to see it was nothing more than dark and empty. He scanned the room he’d entered. It was a small office area. His eyes fell on the small cupboard near the door. Each drawer was small and numbered 1 to 4. He pulled one open and saw keys on a hook. His heart leaped with excitement and he took his eyes and turned around. There was a small door that looked like it would be to the garage so he popped it open. Inside the garage were four large snow plows with big numbers painted on the side of them. He checked to see he had 4 so he ran to the other side of the garage to snowplow 4. Fred climbed up the door and tried to pull it open. Locked. He put the keys in and unlocked the door then hopped in and started the vehicle. It roared to life sounding like he’d woken a large sleeping lion. On the dashboard were a few bobbleheads and a small remote. He grabbed the remote and pressed button 4. Slowly with the sound of breaking ice accompanying it the garage door in front of the plow began to lurch open.
He scanned around the mess of levers and buttons until he found the truck's lights. He switched them on and then slowly put pressure on the gas. The massive plow immediately began to roll forward. He’d have to be slow as even with its powerful lights it was still extremely hard to see. So with much caution, the plow pulled out of the garage pushing the snow out of its way and making its way for the road.
The two hounds hissed and growled as they both pulled themselves fully through the window. Then in a quick move one made for Gretchen while the other charged for Chloe. Gretchen finished putting in the new bullets. BANG! The shot was aimed at its leg but hit it on the side. Chloe looked around and realized they’d kicked the semi-auto onto the floor. She reached for the gun, grabbed it just in time, and turned around. RAT-A-TATATATA!! Its two front legs were instantly shattered, toppling it over, causing the rest of the shots to hit it square in the face. BANG! Gretchen's second shot broke one of its front legs, but the creature unfolded its mantis arms and continued on those. Chloe didn’t even think she saw the hound going for Gretchen and pulled the trigger. RAT-A-TATATATA!! She nailed perfect shots. She hit all six limbs right at the joints causing them to collapse to the ground.
They both looked around at the three broken hounds. All three still growled in pain and tried to get up, but each attempt just seemed to break them more. Chloe walked over to the first one and pulled the knife out of its eye. SCREECH! It continued letting out progressively weaker screeches until as blood poured from its eye finally, it was silent. Silently and efficiently, Chloe opened the mouths of both the others and stabbed upward piercing the brain instantly killing them.
The plow soured through the snow pushing all of it aside leaving mountains of snow on both sides of the road. Suddenly there was a loud metal scraping sound and something big was thrown over and to the side. Fred stopped the plow and looked out the rearview mirror to see a now-destroyed car lying in one of the snow piles. He couldn’t help but be impressed; he didn't think the plow would be so powerful that it could hurl a car like that.
He continued on and then he slowly turned onto the street the house was on. He now drove down the road and noticed as he got close to the house a large creeper standing outside. It stood there menacingly, looking down into the window wells. Worry shot through him and in an instant, he turned the plow toward the creature and rammed straight into it. He pulled forward pinning the creeper between the plow and the brick wall of the house. It lay there pinned screeching its lungs out in pain. Slowly and nervously Fred stepped out of the plow shotgun gripped tightly. SCROAr! Its call becomes much weaker. Its body was a twisted broken mess and its head only barely poked out above the plow. He walked over to the creature looking into its eyes.
Jess. He thought staring into the brown eyes he’d once loved. BANG!!! The bullet tore through its already broken exoskeleton and its head exploded onto the brick wall next to it. Tears rolled down his face and he fell to his knees.
“I love you, honey,” He said to the dead creature. “I’m sorry.”
He hoped in his mind that she was free now, or better yet that she was already dead. Although, those eyes, those eyes, it seemed that until the moment he’d shot her she was still inside there somewhere. He started sobbing, dropping the shotgun and collapsing onto the snow.
The flow of snow finally stopped and Chloe pulled herself off the ground. She looked around to see the entire basement had been partially flooded with snow. She helped me up and Gretchen hurried her kids and the dogs out of the basement. Slowly and patiently she helped me up the stairs and onto the first floor. My eyes landed on the corpse of the creeper; it was covered in icy crystals made of its own blood. I looked out the window and saw the snowplow right next to the house except it was missing a driver. Chloe sat me on the couch and hurried outside.
After Fred collected himself we all packed the jeep and snow plow. Me and Fred got in the plow while the others got in the jeep. Slowly the plow lurched forward and the jeep pulled out of the driveway and followed.

Part 4
Day 14
Chloe and Fred stood guard by the doorway to the stairs, their guns trained on it. Multiple screeches could be heard upstairs and slowly carefully they both started going up. SCREECH! One of the hounds appeared
Fred looked like he was going to argue but he lowered his head and nodded.
“Wait, where's mom?” I asked the worry heavy in my voice.
Fred looked down somberly and Gretchen started sobbing.
“N… no sh… she’s… she can’t be dead.” I stammered out.
“I’m sorry Joey, if I could’ve done something I would’ve.” He apologized.
I looked down in despair beginning to fill my very soul. My mom, the person who’d raised me, was gone. She was gone forever. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes and Chloe gave me another tight hug.
SLAM! The pile of junk against the door rattled and one of the boys screamed. Chloe let out a small yelp and then we all stood there in silence. SLAM! This time it was followed by a cracking sound.
“They’re going to get in,” Fred growled, “We all need to be quiet.”
We all sat there for a moment as the things tried, again and again, to break through, but finally, they stopped. Fred turned back to us and his eyes went wide.
“Y’all need to get patched up real quick.” He said.
The next few minutes were a stress-filled roller coaster. Chloe sat me down on the couch and ran to the bathroom to get the medical supplies, and she also got the sewing kit. I thought getting my back and leg stitched up while still conscious was painful, but what I felt that day I never want to feel again. I felt the needle go in and out of my face. I felt my face slowly begin to pull back together, and it was all excruciating. While Fred did his work Chloe had to sit there and cover my mouth to hold back my screams. Even through the pain and the tears in my eyes, I could see she was also crying. Finally, after what seemed like an eon he finished the last stitch and was done.
Then he started with Chloe. I was too weak to sit up, but I held her hand as he quickly stitched up her shoulder. With each stroke of the needle, I saw the pain in her face. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he finished his work. We were all patched up, but oh I wish that could’ve fixed the sorrow we felt.
Chloe helped me walk to our bedroom to finally get some shut-eye. My whole body hurt and ached and it all felt broken. She sat me down on the bed and gave me a grim look. She looked tired and worn. Her normally straight hair was a curly mess and little specks of dried blood were about her face.
“I suppose you need to get changed.” She said, looking at me.
I looked down at my still blood-soaked clothes and then back at her.
“I suppose I do,” I said, a little embarrassed that she would have to help me.
Once we were both settled I finally laid down with Chloe crawling into bed next to me.
“I’m so happy you’re ok,” I said, leaning forward and kissing her.
She smiled but it quickly faded, “Joey I’m scared.”
“I know, I’m too, we just have…” I started but she interrupted me.
“It just… I don’t know what’s going on. It shouldn’t be snowing still. It's almost May.” She said, her eyes tearing up, “I’ve been trying to stay strong, but I just can’t anymore. I'm scared.”
“Chloe, it’s ok to be scared. I’m terrified.” I told her.
“I… I have to be the brave one,” She said.
“No, you don’t, you can just be the wonderful person I love. I don’t care if you’re scared or afraid I love you.” I said, pulling her into a tight hug.
She started crying, totally sobbing is probably a better word.
“I don’t want to lose you,” She sobbed.
“I’ll be ok, I promise.” I tried to say but she wasn’t hearing me so I just held her tightly while she sobbed.
Finally, after a long while of crying, she pulled away and looked at me.
“Can I tell you what happened?” She asked shyly.
“Yes of course,” I said, knowing that venting always helped.
And so she finally told me what had happened that day in the Garrison’s house. Every little detail. When she finally finished I felt a shiver go down my spine.
“I’m sorry,” Was all I could manage to say.
She didn’t say anything else, she just cuddled up next to me and cried softly into my shoulder. I gently ran my hand through her hair and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Day 15
We spent the early morning preparing supplies and everything we needed then finally around noon we loaded the jeep.
“Chloe, I’m going to get the snowplow you stay here and keep everyone safe.” He said quietly.
“Ok, be careful,” She said, all too happy that the man wasn’t expecting her to come with him.
Fred slowly made his way upstairs quietly and carefully creeping one step at a time. Each step he took felt like a marathon. His heart was beating so fast he thought it might burst. One step, then another, then another still, and despite his fear he finally made it upstairs.
It looked just the way he’d seen it the evening before. Thrown around with the creeper’s large body lying near him. The massive amounts of blood around it had frozen making a large icy sheet on the carpet.
He couldn’t help but look at the body. Its black exoskeleton reminded him of beetles. It was smooth with no color variation. There were small gaps around the joints and the legs had more exposed flesh than the exoskeleton. He looked at the small gap where the back met the thighs. He drove his fingers into the gap and started peeling the section of the exoskeleton off. It peeled nicely until he got to a certain point where it wouldn’t budge. Annoyed, he walked away and towards the front door. A frozen trail of Gretchen’s blood was still visible and partially buried in snow was my mom’s body. Fred grimaced at the sight and hurriedly continued onward. The quickest route to the snowplow lot was through a few backyards.
The fences were mostly buried and at this point only stood 6 inches or so out of the snow. Stepping over them was easy, and they hardly hindered his path. What did begin to hinder his path was the storm. It howled and screamed at him throwing all the snow and wind it could at him. It reminded him of an angry toddler throwing their food at you. It was odd but that was the best way to put the storm. It was angry, very angry, and he didn’t know why.
Crunch! Crunch! Crunch! Fred stopped and slowly scanned his surroundings to see where the sound had come from but he saw nothing. He wasn’t sure why he looked; he could barely see his hand if he held it out. He guessed it was out of instinct but he wasn’t sure. He stood there listening but whatever had made the sound seemed to have also stopped. He was somewhat confused because that wasn’t really what the creatures sounded like on snow. Nor did it sound like other animals he knew. Suddenly a thought crept into his head, and in a either very dumb or very intelligent move, he spoke.
“Who’s there?” He asked in as loud and as stern of a voice as he could muster.
There was a small pause of silence and right as Fred began to worry he’d made a mistake he heard something on four legs sprint off in the other direction. Must’ve been a deer he thought a little annoyed that he’d thought even for a moment that it was a person. He continued onward with even more caution. He kept the shotgun up constantly now worrying something would sneak up on him. He couldn’t control his now-shaking body despite how much he tried to calm himself.
He stopped walking and started taking deep breaths. In and out. In and out. He said to himself as he did the breathing exercises. After a minute he pulled himself together enough to continue. He walked on and on for what seemed like an eon before finally he arrived. He saw the large building ahead of him. It was a large warehouse-type building with multiple massive garage doors on the sides.
He saw a normal-sized door the size of the building and pulled at the handle. Locked! Of course, it was locked. Slam! The first kick shook the door. Slam! The second it started to cave slightly. Slam! Crash! The door toppled onto the ground and Fred walked into the building, gun raised and ready for a fight.
Chloe sat on the couch eyeing the stairs to the first floor. The responsibility to keep everyone safe was now on her, and she was determined to do that. All she could think about was the monsters outside and likely right upstairs. For all, she knew they were right upstairs conspiring to kill them. She didn’t know how right she was.
CRASH! The window in the window well next to her burst open sending shards of glass all around.
“What’s going on?” Gretchen asked from the other room.
“Babe?” I asked in a worried frenzy.
She pulled herself from the ground in a daze. She felt odd then she felt a wetness begin trickling down her face. She’d been cut up pretty well in a few places on her face. Before she could think of anything else SCREECH!
She looked over and saw a hound crawling in through the now-shattered window. Shoot where’s the gun? She thought scanning the room. Her eyes scanned until they met the semi-automatic. She’d set it on the couch right where the hound was crawling through. She dove for the gun but its large clawed foot slammed onto the gun pinning it under the beast. Darn, it! Slowly she eyed the creature as it pulled itself in. It was just standing there watching her, it seemed very odd and not normal behavior. Then a faint ticking sound came from outside. SCREECH! It charged for her and she pulled her knife. BANG! The blast threw the hound off balance slamming it into the ground. She found herself looking over to see Gretchen wielding the smoking shotgun.
Chloe was about to thank her when the thing got back up changing its course for Gretchen. BANG! The second shot hit the thing square in the face and it screeched in anger and pain. Chloe took the opportunity and jumped atop the thing plunging the knife deep into one of the eye sockets. It screeched again and jumped up, throwing Chloe off with the knife still wedged in its eye. In the meantime, Gretchen reloaded the shotgun BANG! She shot it in the face again, but it only seemed to anger the thing.
“LEGS!” Chloe screamed, pulling herself off the floor.
At the same moment, Gretchen pulled the trigger and two more hounds started their way through the window.
The shot hit the first hound square in one of the back legs, shattering it, and the two hounds were already halfway through the window.
Fred walked into the building relieved to see it was nothing more than dark and empty. He scanned the room he’d entered. It was a small office area. His eyes fell on the small cupboard near the door. Each drawer was small and numbered 1 to 4. He pulled one open and saw keys on a hook. His heart leaped with excitement and he took his eyes and turned around. There was a small door that looked like it would be to the garage so he popped it open. Inside the garage were four large snow plows with big numbers painted on the side of them. He checked to see he had 4 so he ran to the other side of the garage to snowplow 4. Fred climbed up the door and tried to pull it open. Locked. He put the keys in and unlocked the door then hopped in and started the vehicle. It roared to life sounding like he’d woken a large sleeping lion. On the dashboard were a few bobbleheads and a small remote. He grabbed the remote and pressed button 4. Slowly with the sound of breaking ice accompanying it the garage door in front of the plow began to lurch open.
He scanned around the mess of levers and buttons until he found the truck's lights. He switched them on and then slowly put pressure on the gas. The massive plow immediately began to roll forward. He’d have to be slow as even with its powerful lights it was still extremely hard to see. So with much caution, the plow pulled out of the garage pushing the snow out of its way and making its way for the road.
The two hounds hissed and growled as they both pulled themselves fully through the window. Then in a quick move one made for Gretchen while the other charged for Chloe. Gretchen finished putting in the new bullets. BANG! The shot was aimed at its leg but hit it on the side. Chloe looked around and realized they’d kicked the semi-auto onto the floor. She reached for the gun, grabbed it just in time, and turned around. RAT-A-TATATATA!! Its two front legs were instantly shattered, toppling it over, causing the rest of the shots to hit it square in the face. BANG! Gretchen's second shot broke one of its front legs, but the creature unfolded its mantis arms and continued on those. Chloe didn’t even think she saw the hound going for Gretchen and pulled the trigger. RAT-A-TATATATA!! She nailed perfect shots. She hit all six limbs right at the joints causing them to collapse to the ground.
They both looked around at the three broken hounds. All three still growled in pain and tried to get up, but each attempt just seemed to break them more. Chloe walked over to the first one and pulled the knife out of its eye. SCREECH! It continued letting out progressively weaker screeches until as blood poured from its eye finally, it was silent. Silently and efficiently, Chloe opened the mouths of both the others and stabbed upward piercing the brain instantly killing them.
The plow soured through the snow pushing all of it aside leaving mountains of snow on both sides of the road. Suddenly there was a loud metal scraping sound and something big was thrown over and to the side. Fred stopped the plow and looked out the rearview mirror to see a now-destroyed car lying in one of the snow piles. He couldn’t help but be impressed; he didn't think the plow would be so powerful that it could hurl a car like that.
He continued on and then he slowly turned onto the street the house was on. He now drove down the road and noticed as he got close to the house a large creeper standing outside. It stood there menacingly, looking down into the window wells. Worry shot through him and in an instant, he turned the plow toward the creature and rammed straight into it. He pulled forward pinning the creeper between the plow and the brick wall of the house. It lay there pinned screeching its lungs out in pain. Slowly and nervously Fred stepped out of the plow shotgun gripped tightly. SCROAr! Its call becomes much weaker. Its body was a twisted broken mess and its head only barely poked out above the plow. He walked over to the creature looking into its eyes.
Jess. He thought staring into the brown eyes he’d once loved. BANG!!! The bullet tore through its already broken exoskeleton and its head exploded onto the brick wall next to it. Tears rolled down his face and he fell to his knees.
“I love you, honey,” He said to the dead creature. “I’m sorry.”
He hoped in his mind that she was free now, or better yet that she was already dead. Although, those eyes, those eyes, it seemed that until the moment he’d shot her she was still inside there somewhere. He started sobbing, dropping the shotgun and collapsing onto the snow.
The flow of snow finally stopped and Chloe pulled herself off the ground. She looked around to see the entire basement had been partially flooded with snow. She helped me up and Gretchen hurried her kids and the dogs out of the basement. Slowly and patiently she helped me up the stairs and onto the first floor. My eyes landed on the corpse of the creeper; it was covered in icy crystals made of its own blood. I looked out the window and saw the snowplow right next to the house except it was missing a driver. Chloe sat me on the couch and hurried outside.
After Fred collected himself we all packed the jeep and snow plow. Me and Fred got in the plow while the others got in the jeep. Slowly the plow lurched forward and the jeep pulled out of the driveway and followed.

LPI (LP Information)' newest research report, the “T Type Safety Helmets Industry Forecast” looks at past sales and reviews total world T Type Safety Helmets sales in 2022, providing a comprehensive analysis by region and market sector of projected T Type Safety Helmets sales for 2023 through 2029. With T Type Safety Helmets sales broken down by region, market sector and sub-sector, this report provides a detailed analysis in US$ millions of the world T Type Safety Helmets industry.
This Insight Report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global T Type Safety Helmets landscape and highlights key trends related to product segmentation, company formation, revenue, and market share, latest development, and M&A activity. This report also analyzes the strategies of leading global companies with a focus on T Type Safety Helmets portfolios and capabilities, market entry strategies, market positions, and geographic footprints, to better understand these firms' unique position in an accelerating global T Type Safety Helmets market.
This Insight Report evaluates the key market trends, drivers, and affecting factors shaping the global outlook for T Type Safety Helmets and breaks down the forecast by type, by application, geography, and market size to highlight emerging pockets of opportunity. With a transparent methodology based on hundreds of bottom-up qualitative and quantitative market inputs, this study forecast offers a highly nuanced view of the current state and future trajectory in the global T Type Safety Helmets .
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of T Type Safety Helmets market by product type, application, key manufacturers and key regions and countries.
https://www.lpinformationdata.com/reports/729974/t-safety-helmets-2029
The main participants
Delta Plus
JSP Safety
Honeywell
3M
MSA Safety
Bullard
Woshine
Xinggong Technology
KARAM Safety
Radians, Inc
Segmentation by type
Fabric T Type Safety Helmets
T1 Safety Helmet
T2 Safety Helmet
T3 Safety Helmet
T4 Safety Helmet
T5 Safety Helmet
Segmentation by application
Mining
Construction Industry
Electricity
Oil and Gas
Others
Key Questions Addressed in this Report
What is the 10-year outlook for the global T Type Safety Helmets market?
What factors are driving T Type Safety Helmets market growth, globally and by region?
Which technologies are poised for the fastest growth by market and region?
How do T Type Safety Helmets market opportunities vary by end market size?
How does T Type Safety Helmets break out type, application?
What are the influences of COVID-19 and Russia-Ukraine war?
LP INFORMATION (LPI) is a professional market report publisher based in America, providing high quality market research reports with competitive prices to help decision makers make informed decisions and take strategic actions to achieve excellent outcomes.We have an extensive library of reports on hundreds of technologies.Search for a specific term, or click on an industry to browse our reports by subject. Narrow down your results using our filters or sort by what’s important to you, such as publication date, price, or name.
LP INFORMATION
E-mail: [email protected]
Add: 17890 Castleton St. Suite 369 City of Industry, CA 91748 US
Website: https://www.lpinformationdata.com