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My Uninvited Guests
2023.04.01 15:12 1000andonenites My Uninvited Guests
I have endured so much since that fateful night. My son- he has done so much, hurt so many people, and part of me feels it is my fault. This is not just the old stereotypical blaming of mothers when children go wrong. It is something else. I tried my best, I really did. Maybe I should have made a different choice that night, when my son was still a teenager. I don’t know. I just know that as always, I was only acting in his best interest, and that I will always love and support him, no matter what he does.
I am his mother after all.
That night, I was waiting for my son Nick to return home when my phone dinged. I looked down at my son’s name, flashing on my screen
-Will asked me over to his place can I go pls
I immediately texted back.
“No absolutely not. Home by nine please.” I simply could not come to terms with my son’s and his friends' apparently insatiable need to spend all weekend evenings together- and god knows what they got up to after dark.
Ding!
“Please please mom everybody is going Will asked me to go”
I was about to text back something like “when Will pays your bills, you can follow him wherever he asks” but then I felt a sudden change of heart. There was no point in refusing- he would just sneak off after I fell asleep. And how could I really refuse my darling son anything anyway? How could I make him upset and miserable, excluded from his friend group? He was the light of my eyes, the beat of my heart.
-Ok picking u up 11:30 no drinking drugs!
-Tks mom luv u
-I love u too
My last text remained unread.
I sighed. Another long lonely Saturday evening.
I dully thought about watching or eating something. I hated being alone in the evenings. My old fears and paranoias flooded me. It was hard not to spiral into dark places in my mind, as I restlessly listened to the creak of the pipes in the walls, magnified and echoing around my living room.
Tonight, it seemed as if the creaks were louder than ever. Something seemed to snap inside the belly of my house. I stared at the wall, which appeared to be moving, shaking and wavy. What the hell- Was it an earthquake? Our area was not prone to earthquakes. My imaginary fears gave way to sharp pangs of real horror as the front door flew open and a tall thin man perfectly dressed in a beautiful dark blue suit complete with a crisp white shirt and a Cheshire cat smile entered and stood before me.
“Hello Lisa” he exclaimed in a friendly voice. His eyes were blank, like small silver discs of nothingness.
The walls stopped heaving and the pipes were silent. Dead quiet reigned in the room.
The front door slammed shut.
I jumped, but couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him.
“I’ve come to take you.” he said brightly.
I shook my head.
He stretched out his hand and said in a slightly softer tone. “Come along my dear. It won’t be as bad as you’ve been told.”
“No!” I gasped. “Please. I have to be here- for my son. I’m all he has- he’s only sixteen.”
His grin grew deeper, running all the way round his head. “You silly woman! Why do you think I’m here?”
I shook her head mutely, refusing to believe.
“Sad but true my dear. He sold your soul to be able to go to Will’s party. Anyway, don’t worry. Lilibeth here will care for him.” He snapped his fingers, and then for the first time I noticed a woman’s figure, standing silently beside him. I don’t know how she got in.
Her face- I can’t describe how terrible her face was - a distorted face with sharp angled teeth jutting out, a demon face if there ever was one.
“Lilibeth you stupid cunt, your face!” snapped the blue-suited man. I blinked, the womanly figure seemed to flicker and I found myself staring at a woman who looked exactly like me. I shook my head again, willing the two to disappear.
But they did not.
“See? Lilibeth can take perfect care of him.” said the man. Lilibeth smiled and I could see her sharp glowing white teeth.
Desperation made me find my tongue. “No- this is not possible! How could he sell my soul for something he wanted? This can’t be- you’re lying!”
He rubbed his hands together. “In most cases you would be right, my poor Lisa. But for mothers and sons, ahhh, that most delicious of relationships, we make an exception. Your souls are so tightly bonded, in such a terrible way- even the laws of the universe bend in awe. The transactions are different, different, you know. Now come along, stop arguing with me. I have other things to do, places to be.” And he took a step towards me, his silver eyes dancing with glee.
“No” I cried. “I’ll make another deal with you! A better deal! Tell me what you’d like”.
He raised his eyebrows, his cat grin growing almost splitting his skull. “How amusing. Let me see. Actually I know exactly what I want. You realise, the bitter truth is that even in hell, men’s souls are valued more than yours, especially a fresh young man. The potential for doing evil! Oh my goodness!” and paused and rubbed his hands together again, almost drooling, before continuing, “And especially compared to that of a jaded old hag, if you’ll pardon me for pointing out the obvious, such as yourself. Call me sexist my dear, but that’s just the way it is.. So, his soul for yours?”
“She- she will leave?” I gestured at my doppelganger.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter, a truly terrifying sound. “Lilibeth you are so unwanted, my poor bitch!”
He snapped his fingers. Lilibeth hung her head, so her face was no longer visible, turned, and walked slowly to the front door. She paused a second, her hand on the knob, but the man gestured impatiently and snapped “Go on go on! I said we haven’t all night!”
She opened the door and disappeared into the darkness.
“There you go. No Lilibeth. Just you and your precious son- but his soul is mine.”
I nodded mutely.
“Wonderful! Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Saturday evening- I heard there is an excellent party at Will’s place - I might pop in.”
He turned and followed Lilibeth back out.
I was alone. Had I been alone all this time?
I have not had a peaceful night since then. My son, Nick. Well, you may have heard about some of the things he’s done, sometimes they make its way into the media. But it’s not my fault. I was only trying to protect him. I swear.
submitted by 1000andonenites to scarystories [link] [comments]
I am his mother after all.
That night, I was waiting for my son Nick to return home when my phone dinged. I looked down at my son’s name, flashing on my screen
-Will asked me over to his place can I go pls
I immediately texted back.
“No absolutely not. Home by nine please.” I simply could not come to terms with my son’s and his friends' apparently insatiable need to spend all weekend evenings together- and god knows what they got up to after dark.
Ding!
“Please please mom everybody is going Will asked me to go”
I was about to text back something like “when Will pays your bills, you can follow him wherever he asks” but then I felt a sudden change of heart. There was no point in refusing- he would just sneak off after I fell asleep. And how could I really refuse my darling son anything anyway? How could I make him upset and miserable, excluded from his friend group? He was the light of my eyes, the beat of my heart.
-Ok picking u up 11:30 no drinking drugs!
-Tks mom luv u
-I love u too
My last text remained unread.
I sighed. Another long lonely Saturday evening.
I dully thought about watching or eating something. I hated being alone in the evenings. My old fears and paranoias flooded me. It was hard not to spiral into dark places in my mind, as I restlessly listened to the creak of the pipes in the walls, magnified and echoing around my living room.
Tonight, it seemed as if the creaks were louder than ever. Something seemed to snap inside the belly of my house. I stared at the wall, which appeared to be moving, shaking and wavy. What the hell- Was it an earthquake? Our area was not prone to earthquakes. My imaginary fears gave way to sharp pangs of real horror as the front door flew open and a tall thin man perfectly dressed in a beautiful dark blue suit complete with a crisp white shirt and a Cheshire cat smile entered and stood before me.
“Hello Lisa” he exclaimed in a friendly voice. His eyes were blank, like small silver discs of nothingness.
The walls stopped heaving and the pipes were silent. Dead quiet reigned in the room.
The front door slammed shut.
I jumped, but couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him.
“I’ve come to take you.” he said brightly.
I shook my head.
He stretched out his hand and said in a slightly softer tone. “Come along my dear. It won’t be as bad as you’ve been told.”
“No!” I gasped. “Please. I have to be here- for my son. I’m all he has- he’s only sixteen.”
His grin grew deeper, running all the way round his head. “You silly woman! Why do you think I’m here?”
I shook her head mutely, refusing to believe.
“Sad but true my dear. He sold your soul to be able to go to Will’s party. Anyway, don’t worry. Lilibeth here will care for him.” He snapped his fingers, and then for the first time I noticed a woman’s figure, standing silently beside him. I don’t know how she got in.
Her face- I can’t describe how terrible her face was - a distorted face with sharp angled teeth jutting out, a demon face if there ever was one.
“Lilibeth you stupid cunt, your face!” snapped the blue-suited man. I blinked, the womanly figure seemed to flicker and I found myself staring at a woman who looked exactly like me. I shook my head again, willing the two to disappear.
But they did not.
“See? Lilibeth can take perfect care of him.” said the man. Lilibeth smiled and I could see her sharp glowing white teeth.
Desperation made me find my tongue. “No- this is not possible! How could he sell my soul for something he wanted? This can’t be- you’re lying!”
He rubbed his hands together. “In most cases you would be right, my poor Lisa. But for mothers and sons, ahhh, that most delicious of relationships, we make an exception. Your souls are so tightly bonded, in such a terrible way- even the laws of the universe bend in awe. The transactions are different, different, you know. Now come along, stop arguing with me. I have other things to do, places to be.” And he took a step towards me, his silver eyes dancing with glee.
“No” I cried. “I’ll make another deal with you! A better deal! Tell me what you’d like”.
He raised his eyebrows, his cat grin growing almost splitting his skull. “How amusing. Let me see. Actually I know exactly what I want. You realise, the bitter truth is that even in hell, men’s souls are valued more than yours, especially a fresh young man. The potential for doing evil! Oh my goodness!” and paused and rubbed his hands together again, almost drooling, before continuing, “And especially compared to that of a jaded old hag, if you’ll pardon me for pointing out the obvious, such as yourself. Call me sexist my dear, but that’s just the way it is.. So, his soul for yours?”
“She- she will leave?” I gestured at my doppelganger.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter, a truly terrifying sound. “Lilibeth you are so unwanted, my poor bitch!”
He snapped his fingers. Lilibeth hung her head, so her face was no longer visible, turned, and walked slowly to the front door. She paused a second, her hand on the knob, but the man gestured impatiently and snapped “Go on go on! I said we haven’t all night!”
She opened the door and disappeared into the darkness.
“There you go. No Lilibeth. Just you and your precious son- but his soul is mine.”
I nodded mutely.
“Wonderful! Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Saturday evening- I heard there is an excellent party at Will’s place - I might pop in.”
He turned and followed Lilibeth back out.
I was alone. Had I been alone all this time?
I have not had a peaceful night since then. My son, Nick. Well, you may have heard about some of the things he’s done, sometimes they make its way into the media. But it’s not my fault. I was only trying to protect him. I swear.
2023.04.01 15:11 1000andonenites My Uninvited Guests
I have endured so much since that fateful night. My son- he has done so much, hurt so many people, and part of me feels it is my fault. This is not just the old stereotypical blaming of mothers when children go wrong. It is something else. I tried my best, I really did. Maybe I should have made a different choice that night, when my son was still a teenager. I don’t know. I just know that as always, I was only acting in his best interest, and that I will always love and support him, no matter what he does.
I am his mother after all.
That night, I was waiting for my son Nick to return home when my phone dinged. I looked down at my son’s name, flashing on my screen
-Will asked me over to his place can I go pls
I immediately texted back.
“No absolutely not. Home by nine please.” I simply could not come to terms with my son’s and his friends' apparently insatiable need to spend all weekend evenings together- and god knows what they got up to after dark.
Ding!
“Please please mom everybody is going Will asked me to go”
I was about to text back something like “when Will pays your bills, you can follow him wherever he asks” but then I felt a sudden change of heart. There was no point in refusing- he would just sneak off after I fell asleep. And how could I really refuse my darling son anything anyway? How could I make him upset and miserable, excluded from his friend group? He was the light of my eyes, the beat of my heart.
-Ok picking u up 11:30 no drinking drugs!
-Tks mom luv u
-I love u too
My last text remained unread.
I sighed. Another long lonely Saturday evening.
I dully thought about watching or eating something. I hated being alone in the evenings. My old fears and paranoias flooded me. It was hard not to spiral into dark places in my mind, as I restlessly listened to the creak of the pipes in the walls, magnified and echoing around my living room.
Tonight, it seemed as if the creaks were louder than ever. Something seemed to snap inside the belly of my house. I stared at the wall, which appeared to be moving, shaking and wavy. What the hell- Was it an earthquake? Our area was not prone to earthquakes. My imaginary fears gave way to sharp pangs of real horror as the front door flew open and a tall thin man perfectly dressed in a beautiful dark blue suit complete with a crisp white shirt and a Cheshire cat smile entered and stood before me.
“Hello Lisa” he exclaimed in a friendly voice. His eyes were blank, like small silver discs of nothingness.
The walls stopped heaving and the pipes were silent. Dead quiet reigned in the room.
The front door slammed shut.
I jumped, but couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him.
“I’ve come to take you.” he said brightly.
I shook my head.
He stretched out his hand and said in a slightly softer tone. “Come along my dear. It won’t be as bad as you’ve been told.”
“No!” I gasped. “Please. I have to be here- for my son. I’m all he has- he’s only sixteen.”
His grin grew deeper, running all the way round his head. “You silly woman! Why do you think I’m here?”
I shook her head mutely, refusing to believe.
“Sad but true my dear. He sold your soul to be able to go to Will’s party. Anyway, don’t worry. Lilibeth here will care for him.” He snapped his fingers, and then for the first time I noticed a woman’s figure, standing silently beside him. I don’t know how she got in.
Her face- I can’t describe how terrible her face was - a distorted face with sharp angled teeth jutting out, a demon face if there ever was one.
“Lilibeth you stupid cunt, your face!” snapped the blue-suited man. I blinked, the womanly figure seemed to flicker and I found myself staring at a woman who looked exactly like me. I shook my head again, willing the two to disappear.
But they did not.
“See? Lilibeth can take perfect care of him.” said the man. Lilibeth smiled and I could see her sharp glowing white teeth.
Desperation made me find my tongue. “No- this is not possible! How could he sell my soul for something he wanted? This can’t be- you’re lying!”
He rubbed his hands together. “In most cases you would be right, my poor Lisa. But for mothers and sons, ahhh, that most delicious of relationships, we make an exception. Your souls are so tightly bonded, in such a terrible way- even the laws of the universe bend in awe. The transactions are different, different, you know. Now come along, stop arguing with me. I have other things to do, places to be.” And he took a step towards me, his silver eyes dancing with glee.
“No” I cried. “I’ll make another deal with you! A better deal! Tell me what you’d like”.
He raised his eyebrows, his cat grin growing almost splitting his skull. “How amusing. Let me see. Actually I know exactly what I want. You realise, the bitter truth is that even in hell, men’s souls are valued more than yours, especially a fresh young man. The potential for doing evil! Oh my goodness!” and paused and rubbed his hands together again, almost drooling, before continuing, “And especially compared to that of a jaded old hag, if you’ll pardon me for pointing out the obvious, such as yourself. Call me sexist my dear, but that’s just the way it is.. So, his soul for yours?”
“She- she will leave?” I gestured at my doppelganger.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter, a truly terrifying sound. “Lilibeth you are so unwanted, my poor bitch!”
He snapped his fingers. Lilibeth hung her head, so her face was no longer visible, turned, and walked slowly to the front door. She paused a second, her hand on the knob, but the man gestured impatiently and snapped “Go on go on! I said we haven’t all night!”
She opened the door and disappeared into the darkness.
“There you go. No Lilibeth. Just you and your precious son- but his soul is mine.”
I nodded mutely.
“Wonderful! Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Saturday evening- I heard there is an excellent party at Will’s place - I might pop in.”
He turned and followed Lilibeth back out.
I was alone. Had I been alone all this time?
I have not had a peaceful night since then. My son, Nick. Well, you may have heard about some of the things he’s done, sometimes they make its way into the media. But it’s not my fault. I was only trying to protect him. I swear.
submitted by 1000andonenites to nosleep [link] [comments]
I am his mother after all.
That night, I was waiting for my son Nick to return home when my phone dinged. I looked down at my son’s name, flashing on my screen
-Will asked me over to his place can I go pls
I immediately texted back.
“No absolutely not. Home by nine please.” I simply could not come to terms with my son’s and his friends' apparently insatiable need to spend all weekend evenings together- and god knows what they got up to after dark.
Ding!
“Please please mom everybody is going Will asked me to go”
I was about to text back something like “when Will pays your bills, you can follow him wherever he asks” but then I felt a sudden change of heart. There was no point in refusing- he would just sneak off after I fell asleep. And how could I really refuse my darling son anything anyway? How could I make him upset and miserable, excluded from his friend group? He was the light of my eyes, the beat of my heart.
-Ok picking u up 11:30 no drinking drugs!
-Tks mom luv u
-I love u too
My last text remained unread.
I sighed. Another long lonely Saturday evening.
I dully thought about watching or eating something. I hated being alone in the evenings. My old fears and paranoias flooded me. It was hard not to spiral into dark places in my mind, as I restlessly listened to the creak of the pipes in the walls, magnified and echoing around my living room.
Tonight, it seemed as if the creaks were louder than ever. Something seemed to snap inside the belly of my house. I stared at the wall, which appeared to be moving, shaking and wavy. What the hell- Was it an earthquake? Our area was not prone to earthquakes. My imaginary fears gave way to sharp pangs of real horror as the front door flew open and a tall thin man perfectly dressed in a beautiful dark blue suit complete with a crisp white shirt and a Cheshire cat smile entered and stood before me.
“Hello Lisa” he exclaimed in a friendly voice. His eyes were blank, like small silver discs of nothingness.
The walls stopped heaving and the pipes were silent. Dead quiet reigned in the room.
The front door slammed shut.
I jumped, but couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him.
“I’ve come to take you.” he said brightly.
I shook my head.
He stretched out his hand and said in a slightly softer tone. “Come along my dear. It won’t be as bad as you’ve been told.”
“No!” I gasped. “Please. I have to be here- for my son. I’m all he has- he’s only sixteen.”
His grin grew deeper, running all the way round his head. “You silly woman! Why do you think I’m here?”
I shook her head mutely, refusing to believe.
“Sad but true my dear. He sold your soul to be able to go to Will’s party. Anyway, don’t worry. Lilibeth here will care for him.” He snapped his fingers, and then for the first time I noticed a woman’s figure, standing silently beside him. I don’t know how she got in.
Her face- I can’t describe how terrible her face was - a distorted face with sharp angled teeth jutting out, a demon face if there ever was one.
“Lilibeth you stupid cunt, your face!” snapped the blue-suited man. I blinked, the womanly figure seemed to flicker and I found myself staring at a woman who looked exactly like me. I shook my head again, willing the two to disappear.
But they did not.
“See? Lilibeth can take perfect care of him.” said the man. Lilibeth smiled and I could see her sharp glowing white teeth.
Desperation made me find my tongue. “No- this is not possible! How could he sell my soul for something he wanted? This can’t be- you’re lying!”
He rubbed his hands together. “In most cases you would be right, my poor Lisa. But for mothers and sons, ahhh, that most delicious of relationships, we make an exception. Your souls are so tightly bonded, in such a terrible way- even the laws of the universe bend in awe. The transactions are different, different, you know. Now come along, stop arguing with me. I have other things to do, places to be.” And he took a step towards me, his silver eyes dancing with glee.
“No” I cried. “I’ll make another deal with you! A better deal! Tell me what you’d like”.
He raised his eyebrows, his cat grin growing almost splitting his skull. “How amusing. Let me see. Actually I know exactly what I want. You realise, the bitter truth is that even in hell, men’s souls are valued more than yours, especially a fresh young man. The potential for doing evil! Oh my goodness!” and paused and rubbed his hands together again, almost drooling, before continuing, “And especially compared to that of a jaded old hag, if you’ll pardon me for pointing out the obvious, such as yourself. Call me sexist my dear, but that’s just the way it is.. So, his soul for yours?”
“She- she will leave?” I gestured at my doppelganger.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter, a truly terrifying sound. “Lilibeth you are so unwanted, my poor bitch!”
He snapped his fingers. Lilibeth hung her head, so her face was no longer visible, turned, and walked slowly to the front door. She paused a second, her hand on the knob, but the man gestured impatiently and snapped “Go on go on! I said we haven’t all night!”
She opened the door and disappeared into the darkness.
“There you go. No Lilibeth. Just you and your precious son- but his soul is mine.”
I nodded mutely.
“Wonderful! Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Saturday evening- I heard there is an excellent party at Will’s place - I might pop in.”
He turned and followed Lilibeth back out.
I was alone. Had I been alone all this time?
I have not had a peaceful night since then. My son, Nick. Well, you may have heard about some of the things he’s done, sometimes they make its way into the media. But it’s not my fault. I was only trying to protect him. I swear.
2023.04.01 09:20 Lem0n_Lord Displacement - Azur Lane
I decided to go through with it, and finished my first chapter. I've posted it on AO3 'n stuff, figured I'd put it here anyway. I also wanna preface the chapter by briefly saying what it's about to avoid (some) confusion.
"Displacement" is a line of self-insert fanfics I'm writing where a random person get's "Displaced" into the universe of the series it's based on. There's no lore to the teleporting, but the teleporting does happen more than once, and it happens at often crucial times to put the character into a new scenario.
Any text with italics without " " will be the thoughts of the MC, which I'll constantly just be referring to as "you". I really should start writing in 3rd person, but right now I'm stuck in a horrible loop where I keep writing in a mix.
I preface each chapter by putting lyrics from the song it's named after, which are emboldened and put in italics.
Chapter 1 - Dead On Arrival
As dawn arrives, we still survive.
Nobody knows what's goin' on, Tearin' my town limb by limb.
Where are your mom and dad..?
Was it shocking for you?
Somethin is scaring you?
Enemies will hunt you, no matter what you do!
But we'll fight for you, to defeat them all.
If not, there's no way out.
What in the hell just happened?
You'd landed on your hands, which ached immensely from the poor angle you somehow fell from. In absolute confusion, you flipped onto your back and used your elbows as supports to lean on, looking upwards.
Above you was but a regular ceiling with lights, nothing out of the ordinary. It seems you had fallen through the ground by some contrivance and into an archaic office of sorts.
There was a total lack of memory from anything that had transpired both leading up to the events that had just occurred, and even some memories predating that.
Such simple things such as your name were somehow eluding you. Questions of who you were rebounded in your head over and over like an echo-chamber filled with nothing.
As your thoughts spiraled, you had a splitting headache. A pained groan escaped your lips as you stood up in defiance. You looked around the room, trying to assess your situation the best you could.
Multiple red banners fit with black Iron Crosses decorated the walls.
An underlying sense of dread built up as you continued exploring the room in search for answers. You approached curtains behind the desk, they seemed relatively well cleaned. With a gentle tug, you pulled them back.
Lying beyond the curtains was a view you thought you'd never see.
Just where in the hell am I?
Looking down from the window, you could see huge warships docked at a port. Some people down below, the size of pinpricks, were walking along the concrete ground. More crimson banners littered the streets away from the docks.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no..." You whispered to yourself, backing away from the glass.
In an attempt to find out where you were, you flew open the desk drawers. Paper flew like confetti as you looked for answers.
A date eventually stood out to you.
"1-1941?!" You said out loud, dumbfounded.
You continued sifting through the pages in denial, finding the very same date over and over again. After a while, you were surrounded by a sea of white sheets each imprinted with evidence of the impossible.
The drawers all lay empty with nothing more to prove.
You looked towards the multiple banners in the room and silently cursed.
Where the fuck am I? In the Führer's office?
Two doors were present in the room. One opposite the desk, and another to your right.
Testing your luck, you opened the one opposite where you currently were.
It was in the middle of a clean carpeted hallway. The walls were an ivory white, while the carpet was a bleeding vibrant red. Even more banners littered the walls.
This was no time to just start wandering around the Reichstag.
Well... Did Hitler live in the Reichstag? Was this the equivalent? The Reichstag was never built so close to the sea, let alone having a view right over a German port...
A figure turned the corner from down the hall, which you quickly noticed. After silently closing the door, you quietly opened the 2nd.
It was a relatively well kept bedroom with an unidentified blonde woman sleeping on the bed. On the bed-side table was an officers cap fitted with a rising golden eagle alongside a red and white band.
A window view facing the sea was left open; letting in a cooling breeze drift into the room.
An idea struck your mind.
If I'm were going to escape this place alive, I'm gonna need some kind of disguise. Atleast, something other than a T-shirt and shorts.
You could only imagine what they'd do to you if they'd found some random person in what you thought was the Führer's quarters.
As silently as was humanly possible, you crept up to the wardrobe.
You thought "What woman was high-ranking during World War 2? ".
Perhaps the woman sleeping was Hitlers wife or something?
The closet responded to your touch with a high pitched squeak. Despite it being an inanimate object, you motioned for it to shut up with your hand. Your head spun around to see if the woman had woken up.
She did not.
With a silent thank you to god, you looked inside for some kind of uniform. What you instead found was... Womens' apparel?
You reached further in and looked deeper. There was no men's uniforms, which was quite surprising. Further scanning the wardrobe, you came across what appeared to be her undergarments.
You would've slammed the door shut, but the sound of the woman behind you snoring left a constant reminder that there was a SLIGHT element of danger.
Instead of risking it making another creaking sound, you left it open and left the room with a blush. You dove back into the marked papers and read them more thoroughly. Mentions of... Ship girls? Wisdom cubes?
No, no, no, that can't be right.
Standing back up, you struggled to formulate any kind of plan.
If you were going to survive, you'd need a weapon. Surely you could kill one with a surprise attack, then take his gun, and perhaps find a way out of here.
...
The closest thing resembling a weapon was a pen on the table.
Yep, that's fine, I'll just John Wick them...
You huffed and sat down on the more throne-like chair. It was quite comfortable, but it didn't spin like an office chair. It'd be 35 years before office chairs would be invented unfortunately.
The pen wasn't a ballpoint such as the ones you were used to; instead it was a dip pen. A half empty inkwell laid next to it. Out of boredom, you opened it. The smell of ink wafted out of the glass container.
Didn't they have fountain pens by now? Weird.
Your eyes were drawn to a map on the wall to the right of you. It depicted a slightly distorted version of the world you once called home. If you were uneducated, it wouldn't be unfeasible to identify it as the real thing. Perhaps even interchangeable should you be intoxicated enough, there were only slight discrepancies which broke the illusion.
You shook your head in disbelief. Either you were truly out of your depth or what you thought were the Nazi's were just pitifully incompetent.
At that point, it felt like you were in one of those TV pranks. You started probing the room for cameras or hidden microphones. With one glance at the open doorway, you immediate ignored it and continued the search elsewhere.
With a sigh, you surveyed the room one last time while leaning in a corner.
This couldn't be some sort of prank or something. Nobody would spend all of this money just to get a reaction from someone.
Your eyes traced the boundaries of the window.
Especially with all of those battleships and the like. God, the steel alone would cost millions...
The door leading to the bedroom slammed shut due to the wind from the open window.
You snapped your neck around to look at it, terror and trepidation coiled around your soul like a knot. Well... Now that's just great, isn't it?
The noise was so loud, you unconsciously held your ears in reaction to it.
You ran towards the window behind the desk and tried to get it open. There was no handle or any sort of way to open the window unfortunately.
Panic rushed through your body as you heard rapid footsteps approaching from the hallway on the other side of the wall. Grabbing the pen, you dashed over to get yourself in a good position to stab whoever was going to enter.
By the time I kill the first guard, I'll easily be able to deal with the girl in the other room. Shouldn't be too difficult as long as I land this blow.
Eventually, a figure opened the doors.
"Bisma-"
The pen somehow deflected off of her head, even though you used all of your strength.
"Eh? "
A dumbfounded look was imprinted onto your face, and she returned the expression.
Both of you stared at each other awkwardly, both of your minds were trying to assess the situation. She had a skirt that was a mixture of a brilliant red and foggy grey. Despite the look on her face, she had quite an imposing stature. Alongside her flat chest were golden buttons fitted to the exterior; 8 in total.
The pen tip was completely bent and disfigured, unlike the persons face you'd just attempted stabbing. There wasn't a single scratch or mark from your inept strike.
You crept around the stunned girl and into the hall, almost tripping on your own feet. As you backed up, she turned around and apprehensively pointed at you.
"You! What do you think you're do-" She was interrupted by the door to the bedroom being burst open.
"That man! Hipper! Detain him at once!" A tall half-dressed blonde ordered from the doorway.
You started backing away, you knew you had to run but it almost felt like you'd forgotten how to.
The inimical woman in front of you was poised to lunge at you, but her eyes gazed at something beyond you. Eventually you had backed up into something warm.
With a gulp, you slowly turned around.
You were face to face with, yet, another female.
Why were they all women? It's only 1941, surely they're not being pushed on all fronts?
An Iron Cross adorned her neck along with two more embroidered onto the wrist section of her clothing. Instead of blonde, her hair was a chalky white that was tied up in twin tails. Something else you noticed is that they all had thigh-highs on.
"Eugen, I order you to capture that spy!"
"Whatever you say, sis~" Eugen replied with a teasing grin.
"This is a huge misunderstanding! If you'll just let me-" You squealed shortly before being picked up by your shoulders. Her strength was extremely surprising to say the least. You attempted to maneuver yourself out of her grasp, but had no such luck.
Eugen effortlessly tossed you like a speeding missile down the hall and through a door labeled "Canteen".
"Why did you- EUGH! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!" A irked Hipper scolded before giving chase.
"Oops~ " Eugen giggled with content, following with a gait of elegance.
The blonde put on her cap, and finished getting dressed before rushing in the opposite direction.
...
You'd just breached the doors of the cafeteria, landing on your shoulder and tumbling into the floorboards. You released a loud groan of agony as you made a clumsy uncoordinated attempt of rising to your feet.
Your mind was briefly rendered into tomato soup for a good few seconds before you regained your bearings.
How the hell did she just whizz me around like that? And how did that other girl just completely ignore my strike? What in the name of Christ is going on here..?
As you finally stood on two feet, one of your hands instinctively reached for your shoulder. It really felt like you broke something, but you knew that if you really had broken something, you'd probably be on the floor crying.
"Who is that?"
Your eyes widened as you realized you were in a room full of women draped in all kinds of modified Kriegsmarine uniforms. Some of them forewent their uniforms entirely, wearing skimpy, very revealing clothing for god knows why.
They were of all shapes and sizes. Though, putting it like that makes it sound like they're abnormal godless creatures.
It wasn't too far from the truth, some of them had what seemed to be horns. A good number of them also looked like children.
You struggled to get some words out in a very poor attempt of deception.
"I-I, uh... Für den Kaiser? " You stuttered in a horrible German accent. Everyone was silent. "No? Too early? Damn..."
A feminine voice crackled in from the P.A system, a ringing alarm repeatedly blared.
"Intruder alert! Spy in the base! Prevent him from leaving at all costs!"
Chatter erupted all over the room.
"There's a spy in the base?" Someone repeated.
Only fragments of conversations were intelligible from the mess of different voices and German. The talking slowly died down until the room was in absolute silence. Every single one of them were staring at you.
Your eyes went from face to face, they were innumerable.
You immediately turned you back on them and began your great escape.
It started with a thundering of rushing and mangled cries of "Get him!" and other variations of apprehensive phrases. Multiple lunch trays clattered to the floor. The flat blonde you'd met before burst through the doors, using her arms in an X fashion as a brace.
Hipper didn't see you slip out of her way and slink back into the hallway before continuing into a sprint.
"W-where did he go?" She sputtered in a blunder. Her breath was raggedy and frequent.
They all pointed behind her, some of them started running towards her which prompted an annoyed groan from Hipper, who began to give chase to the human.
...
A look of steely determination was imprinted onto your face as you ran with all of your might. Crimson banners, vanilla wallpaper, and the wall-lamps all whizzed by in a amalgamated blur.
You looked behind you to see how much a lead you had.
They were gaining, Hipper was still leading the charge. In a panic, you hurriedly chose a random door flying by.
Eenie, meenie, miney, mo!
You braced and charged through the wooden pair of doors. What you saw in that room was interesting to say the least.
Yet another woman was sitting on some sort of throne. The masonry itself was crumbled at the edges, armrests draped in light amethyst hair.
The woman herself was crossing her legs with her hands joined in her lap. Behind her was a large cathedral-like window showering the room with light, unveiling the darkness. Unlit wax candles ran along the walls with two golden chandeliers hanging above.
She cocked her head slightly to the right, intrigued by your form. Her presence alone sent chills up your spine. Something about her gave off an incredibly ominous vibe.
As you stood there, stunned, the girls behind you had finally caught up. But instead of entering the room and apprehending you with shouts and whatnot, they were quietly gossiping behind closed doors.
"... Think he'll come out alive?"
"August is scary!"
"Quiet, morons!" Hipper hushed them with a quick strike to their foreheads. Muffled whimpers of pain came from the other side of the wall while the figure in front of you stared you down.
There was a profuse silence that was eventually broken by the woman speaking to you.
"It seems you're this Spy. "
She spoke with an air of sophistication and superiority. More silence followed before being broken up yet again. with a sigh she stood up, albeit slowly.
"I must admit, you caught me off guard. "
You watched in a combination of wonder and horror as a mass of azure cubes passed through the floor and walls, amassing themselves into a metal dragon. Instead of wings, it had half of a deck of an aircraft carrier on each wing.
"Your bravery is worthy of admiration, although whether it is folly or valor..." The dragon took a thunderous step towards you, turrets on the deck seemed to be locked onto your head. "I shall decide."
Each of the steps towards you made you flinch.
"You... Want me... To fight... That?" You said while backing up against the door. "What in the name of Christ..? "
What kind of world was this? A world where dragons just... Exist? A world where someone can just pick you up and hurl you without any effort?
This was but another wake-up call to where you had been thrown into.
"Will you falter in the face of such trials?" She ignored your very obvious indirect plea for mercy.
Your hands wrapped around the knob of the door and turned it violently. The door did not open. In a desperate escape attempt, you rammed your shoulder into it repeatedly to no avail.
Seeing how it wasn't working, you backed up towards the dragon and prepared to ram the door down one last time with all of your might.
"Have you given up already?" The woman sneered, a hint of disappointment rang in her voice.
You ran at the door and made one poor excuse of a dropkick while closing your eyes.
...
It felt... Warm. Your body impacted the ground without ever hitting anything with your feet.
For the second time that day, you were dropped onto the floor. Hard.
You let out an exasperated gasp after opening your eyes. Sunlight hit your body from above, no longer held back by a structure.
You were now in a street, occasionally people would pass by. Some looked on with concern, but without the courage to assist. Wooden buildings lined the busy streets, the archaic stone pathway was littered with the tapping of footsteps.
It was just like when you had first arrived here. Though this time, you remembered.
With a silent thank you to whatever deity might've saved you, you stood up with a grin.
Elsewhere...
"Where did he go?!"
"I'm afraid that's not something I know."
"B-but... How?! He can't just vanish! Unless..."
Hipper scratched her chin, her right eye twitching in increasing frustration.
"He must be a submarine! He might have some... Some sort of camouflage! Yes, that must be it!" She whipped around to the crowd of startled onlookers. "Scour the base! I want no stone unturned! Every cabinet, wardrobe and desk!"
Most of the ships saluted with a coordinated "Jawohl!" before dispersing in different directions. Some merely nodded in a sultry state, upset that their lunch had been ruined.
The ones remaining infront of her were none other than Bismarck and Prinz Eugen.
"I just got my rigging on too! Damn him!" Admiral Hipper raised her shaking fist to the sky in rage.
"I'm sure you'll get him next time~" Eugen jokingly assured Hipper, slinging her arm around her sisters neck.
Already teetering on the edge of rage, she had an outburst.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT ANYWAY!" She flew Eugens arm off her shoulder. "I-if you didn't toss him like you did, we could've easily-"
"Eugen, don't go overboard on your games. What is done is done, though do expect to hear from me in the coming days."
Eugen let out a "Hmpf. " and walked away.
Bismarck approached Hipper with a serious gaze. She immediately got the message and composed herself, straightening her posture.
"I believe you were closest to him. Can you describe his face? Eye color, or anything of the sort?"
Admiral Hipper profusely nodded.
"Good."
And that ends the first chapter. As you can probably tell, I'm a novice writer, and most of you are probably twice my age. (Surprisingly, most of you seem to be above the age of 20.) I'm also very new to the fandom, and am looking to improve my writing of dialogue and vast amount of personalities (most of which are tropes), and I'm quite afraid I wrote August/Eugen wrong.
I also have a few questions for any hard-core Azur Lane fans that I'd appreciate if you could answer:
1: Is the German language just called "Ironblood"? Is Japanese called "Sakura" or something? 2: Does the game or anime happen first? Or, are they in separate timelines? I haven't seen Crosswave myself, so I don't know. I was going to follow the events of the anime, then maybe into the game, then into Slow Ahead.
3: (most important one) Are men just... Really rare? Is there a reason why all the ships are females, or why we never see any men, anywhere?
If you've somehow read all of this, thank you, I appreciate people reading my work. Cheers from Australia.
submitted by Lem0n_Lord to AzureLane [link] [comments]
"Displacement" is a line of self-insert fanfics I'm writing where a random person get's "Displaced" into the universe of the series it's based on. There's no lore to the teleporting, but the teleporting does happen more than once, and it happens at often crucial times to put the character into a new scenario.
Any text with italics without " " will be the thoughts of the MC, which I'll constantly just be referring to as "you". I really should start writing in 3rd person, but right now I'm stuck in a horrible loop where I keep writing in a mix.
I preface each chapter by putting lyrics from the song it's named after, which are emboldened and put in italics.
Chapter 1 - Dead On Arrival
As dawn arrives, we still survive.
Nobody knows what's goin' on, Tearin' my town limb by limb.
Where are your mom and dad..?
Was it shocking for you?
Somethin is scaring you?
Enemies will hunt you, no matter what you do!
But we'll fight for you, to defeat them all.
If not, there's no way out.
What in the hell just happened?
You'd landed on your hands, which ached immensely from the poor angle you somehow fell from. In absolute confusion, you flipped onto your back and used your elbows as supports to lean on, looking upwards.
Above you was but a regular ceiling with lights, nothing out of the ordinary. It seems you had fallen through the ground by some contrivance and into an archaic office of sorts.
There was a total lack of memory from anything that had transpired both leading up to the events that had just occurred, and even some memories predating that.
Such simple things such as your name were somehow eluding you. Questions of who you were rebounded in your head over and over like an echo-chamber filled with nothing.
As your thoughts spiraled, you had a splitting headache. A pained groan escaped your lips as you stood up in defiance. You looked around the room, trying to assess your situation the best you could.
Multiple red banners fit with black Iron Crosses decorated the walls.
An underlying sense of dread built up as you continued exploring the room in search for answers. You approached curtains behind the desk, they seemed relatively well cleaned. With a gentle tug, you pulled them back.
Lying beyond the curtains was a view you thought you'd never see.
Just where in the hell am I?
Looking down from the window, you could see huge warships docked at a port. Some people down below, the size of pinpricks, were walking along the concrete ground. More crimson banners littered the streets away from the docks.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no..." You whispered to yourself, backing away from the glass.
In an attempt to find out where you were, you flew open the desk drawers. Paper flew like confetti as you looked for answers.
A date eventually stood out to you.
"1-1941?!" You said out loud, dumbfounded.
You continued sifting through the pages in denial, finding the very same date over and over again. After a while, you were surrounded by a sea of white sheets each imprinted with evidence of the impossible.
The drawers all lay empty with nothing more to prove.
You looked towards the multiple banners in the room and silently cursed.
Where the fuck am I? In the Führer's office?
Two doors were present in the room. One opposite the desk, and another to your right.
Testing your luck, you opened the one opposite where you currently were.
It was in the middle of a clean carpeted hallway. The walls were an ivory white, while the carpet was a bleeding vibrant red. Even more banners littered the walls.
This was no time to just start wandering around the Reichstag.
Well... Did Hitler live in the Reichstag? Was this the equivalent? The Reichstag was never built so close to the sea, let alone having a view right over a German port...
A figure turned the corner from down the hall, which you quickly noticed. After silently closing the door, you quietly opened the 2nd.
It was a relatively well kept bedroom with an unidentified blonde woman sleeping on the bed. On the bed-side table was an officers cap fitted with a rising golden eagle alongside a red and white band.
A window view facing the sea was left open; letting in a cooling breeze drift into the room.
An idea struck your mind.
If I'm were going to escape this place alive, I'm gonna need some kind of disguise. Atleast, something other than a T-shirt and shorts.
You could only imagine what they'd do to you if they'd found some random person in what you thought was the Führer's quarters.
As silently as was humanly possible, you crept up to the wardrobe.
You thought "What woman was high-ranking during World War 2? ".
Perhaps the woman sleeping was Hitlers wife or something?
The closet responded to your touch with a high pitched squeak. Despite it being an inanimate object, you motioned for it to shut up with your hand. Your head spun around to see if the woman had woken up.
She did not.
With a silent thank you to god, you looked inside for some kind of uniform. What you instead found was... Womens' apparel?
You reached further in and looked deeper. There was no men's uniforms, which was quite surprising. Further scanning the wardrobe, you came across what appeared to be her undergarments.
You would've slammed the door shut, but the sound of the woman behind you snoring left a constant reminder that there was a SLIGHT element of danger.
Instead of risking it making another creaking sound, you left it open and left the room with a blush. You dove back into the marked papers and read them more thoroughly. Mentions of... Ship girls? Wisdom cubes?
No, no, no, that can't be right.
Standing back up, you struggled to formulate any kind of plan.
If you were going to survive, you'd need a weapon. Surely you could kill one with a surprise attack, then take his gun, and perhaps find a way out of here.
...
The closest thing resembling a weapon was a pen on the table.
Yep, that's fine, I'll just John Wick them...
You huffed and sat down on the more throne-like chair. It was quite comfortable, but it didn't spin like an office chair. It'd be 35 years before office chairs would be invented unfortunately.
The pen wasn't a ballpoint such as the ones you were used to; instead it was a dip pen. A half empty inkwell laid next to it. Out of boredom, you opened it. The smell of ink wafted out of the glass container.
Didn't they have fountain pens by now? Weird.
Your eyes were drawn to a map on the wall to the right of you. It depicted a slightly distorted version of the world you once called home. If you were uneducated, it wouldn't be unfeasible to identify it as the real thing. Perhaps even interchangeable should you be intoxicated enough, there were only slight discrepancies which broke the illusion.
You shook your head in disbelief. Either you were truly out of your depth or what you thought were the Nazi's were just pitifully incompetent.
At that point, it felt like you were in one of those TV pranks. You started probing the room for cameras or hidden microphones. With one glance at the open doorway, you immediate ignored it and continued the search elsewhere.
With a sigh, you surveyed the room one last time while leaning in a corner.
This couldn't be some sort of prank or something. Nobody would spend all of this money just to get a reaction from someone.
Your eyes traced the boundaries of the window.
Especially with all of those battleships and the like. God, the steel alone would cost millions...
The door leading to the bedroom slammed shut due to the wind from the open window.
You snapped your neck around to look at it, terror and trepidation coiled around your soul like a knot. Well... Now that's just great, isn't it?
The noise was so loud, you unconsciously held your ears in reaction to it.
You ran towards the window behind the desk and tried to get it open. There was no handle or any sort of way to open the window unfortunately.
Panic rushed through your body as you heard rapid footsteps approaching from the hallway on the other side of the wall. Grabbing the pen, you dashed over to get yourself in a good position to stab whoever was going to enter.
By the time I kill the first guard, I'll easily be able to deal with the girl in the other room. Shouldn't be too difficult as long as I land this blow.
Eventually, a figure opened the doors.
"Bisma-"
The pen somehow deflected off of her head, even though you used all of your strength.
"Eh? "
A dumbfounded look was imprinted onto your face, and she returned the expression.
Both of you stared at each other awkwardly, both of your minds were trying to assess the situation. She had a skirt that was a mixture of a brilliant red and foggy grey. Despite the look on her face, she had quite an imposing stature. Alongside her flat chest were golden buttons fitted to the exterior; 8 in total.
The pen tip was completely bent and disfigured, unlike the persons face you'd just attempted stabbing. There wasn't a single scratch or mark from your inept strike.
You crept around the stunned girl and into the hall, almost tripping on your own feet. As you backed up, she turned around and apprehensively pointed at you.
"You! What do you think you're do-" She was interrupted by the door to the bedroom being burst open.
"That man! Hipper! Detain him at once!" A tall half-dressed blonde ordered from the doorway.
You started backing away, you knew you had to run but it almost felt like you'd forgotten how to.
The inimical woman in front of you was poised to lunge at you, but her eyes gazed at something beyond you. Eventually you had backed up into something warm.
With a gulp, you slowly turned around.
You were face to face with, yet, another female.
Why were they all women? It's only 1941, surely they're not being pushed on all fronts?
An Iron Cross adorned her neck along with two more embroidered onto the wrist section of her clothing. Instead of blonde, her hair was a chalky white that was tied up in twin tails. Something else you noticed is that they all had thigh-highs on.
"Eugen, I order you to capture that spy!"
"Whatever you say, sis~" Eugen replied with a teasing grin.
"This is a huge misunderstanding! If you'll just let me-" You squealed shortly before being picked up by your shoulders. Her strength was extremely surprising to say the least. You attempted to maneuver yourself out of her grasp, but had no such luck.
Eugen effortlessly tossed you like a speeding missile down the hall and through a door labeled "Canteen".
"Why did you- EUGH! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!" A irked Hipper scolded before giving chase.
"Oops~ " Eugen giggled with content, following with a gait of elegance.
The blonde put on her cap, and finished getting dressed before rushing in the opposite direction.
...
You'd just breached the doors of the cafeteria, landing on your shoulder and tumbling into the floorboards. You released a loud groan of agony as you made a clumsy uncoordinated attempt of rising to your feet.
Your mind was briefly rendered into tomato soup for a good few seconds before you regained your bearings.
How the hell did she just whizz me around like that? And how did that other girl just completely ignore my strike? What in the name of Christ is going on here..?
As you finally stood on two feet, one of your hands instinctively reached for your shoulder. It really felt like you broke something, but you knew that if you really had broken something, you'd probably be on the floor crying.
"Who is that?"
Your eyes widened as you realized you were in a room full of women draped in all kinds of modified Kriegsmarine uniforms. Some of them forewent their uniforms entirely, wearing skimpy, very revealing clothing for god knows why.
They were of all shapes and sizes. Though, putting it like that makes it sound like they're abnormal godless creatures.
It wasn't too far from the truth, some of them had what seemed to be horns. A good number of them also looked like children.
You struggled to get some words out in a very poor attempt of deception.
"I-I, uh... Für den Kaiser? " You stuttered in a horrible German accent. Everyone was silent. "No? Too early? Damn..."
A feminine voice crackled in from the P.A system, a ringing alarm repeatedly blared.
"Intruder alert! Spy in the base! Prevent him from leaving at all costs!"
Chatter erupted all over the room.
"There's a spy in the base?" Someone repeated.
Only fragments of conversations were intelligible from the mess of different voices and German. The talking slowly died down until the room was in absolute silence. Every single one of them were staring at you.
Your eyes went from face to face, they were innumerable.
You immediately turned you back on them and began your great escape.
It started with a thundering of rushing and mangled cries of "Get him!" and other variations of apprehensive phrases. Multiple lunch trays clattered to the floor. The flat blonde you'd met before burst through the doors, using her arms in an X fashion as a brace.
Hipper didn't see you slip out of her way and slink back into the hallway before continuing into a sprint.
"W-where did he go?" She sputtered in a blunder. Her breath was raggedy and frequent.
They all pointed behind her, some of them started running towards her which prompted an annoyed groan from Hipper, who began to give chase to the human.
...
A look of steely determination was imprinted onto your face as you ran with all of your might. Crimson banners, vanilla wallpaper, and the wall-lamps all whizzed by in a amalgamated blur.
You looked behind you to see how much a lead you had.
They were gaining, Hipper was still leading the charge. In a panic, you hurriedly chose a random door flying by.
Eenie, meenie, miney, mo!
You braced and charged through the wooden pair of doors. What you saw in that room was interesting to say the least.
Yet another woman was sitting on some sort of throne. The masonry itself was crumbled at the edges, armrests draped in light amethyst hair.
The woman herself was crossing her legs with her hands joined in her lap. Behind her was a large cathedral-like window showering the room with light, unveiling the darkness. Unlit wax candles ran along the walls with two golden chandeliers hanging above.
She cocked her head slightly to the right, intrigued by your form. Her presence alone sent chills up your spine. Something about her gave off an incredibly ominous vibe.
As you stood there, stunned, the girls behind you had finally caught up. But instead of entering the room and apprehending you with shouts and whatnot, they were quietly gossiping behind closed doors.
"... Think he'll come out alive?"
"August is scary!"
"Quiet, morons!" Hipper hushed them with a quick strike to their foreheads. Muffled whimpers of pain came from the other side of the wall while the figure in front of you stared you down.
There was a profuse silence that was eventually broken by the woman speaking to you.
"It seems you're this Spy. "
She spoke with an air of sophistication and superiority. More silence followed before being broken up yet again. with a sigh she stood up, albeit slowly.
"I must admit, you caught me off guard. "
You watched in a combination of wonder and horror as a mass of azure cubes passed through the floor and walls, amassing themselves into a metal dragon. Instead of wings, it had half of a deck of an aircraft carrier on each wing.
"Your bravery is worthy of admiration, although whether it is folly or valor..." The dragon took a thunderous step towards you, turrets on the deck seemed to be locked onto your head. "I shall decide."
Each of the steps towards you made you flinch.
"You... Want me... To fight... That?" You said while backing up against the door. "What in the name of Christ..? "
What kind of world was this? A world where dragons just... Exist? A world where someone can just pick you up and hurl you without any effort?
This was but another wake-up call to where you had been thrown into.
"Will you falter in the face of such trials?" She ignored your very obvious indirect plea for mercy.
Your hands wrapped around the knob of the door and turned it violently. The door did not open. In a desperate escape attempt, you rammed your shoulder into it repeatedly to no avail.
Seeing how it wasn't working, you backed up towards the dragon and prepared to ram the door down one last time with all of your might.
"Have you given up already?" The woman sneered, a hint of disappointment rang in her voice.
You ran at the door and made one poor excuse of a dropkick while closing your eyes.
...
It felt... Warm. Your body impacted the ground without ever hitting anything with your feet.
For the second time that day, you were dropped onto the floor. Hard.
You let out an exasperated gasp after opening your eyes. Sunlight hit your body from above, no longer held back by a structure.
You were now in a street, occasionally people would pass by. Some looked on with concern, but without the courage to assist. Wooden buildings lined the busy streets, the archaic stone pathway was littered with the tapping of footsteps.
It was just like when you had first arrived here. Though this time, you remembered.
With a silent thank you to whatever deity might've saved you, you stood up with a grin.
Elsewhere...
"Where did he go?!"
"I'm afraid that's not something I know."
"B-but... How?! He can't just vanish! Unless..."
Hipper scratched her chin, her right eye twitching in increasing frustration.
"He must be a submarine! He might have some... Some sort of camouflage! Yes, that must be it!" She whipped around to the crowd of startled onlookers. "Scour the base! I want no stone unturned! Every cabinet, wardrobe and desk!"
Most of the ships saluted with a coordinated "Jawohl!" before dispersing in different directions. Some merely nodded in a sultry state, upset that their lunch had been ruined.
The ones remaining infront of her were none other than Bismarck and Prinz Eugen.
"I just got my rigging on too! Damn him!" Admiral Hipper raised her shaking fist to the sky in rage.
"I'm sure you'll get him next time~" Eugen jokingly assured Hipper, slinging her arm around her sisters neck.
Already teetering on the edge of rage, she had an outburst.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT ANYWAY!" She flew Eugens arm off her shoulder. "I-if you didn't toss him like you did, we could've easily-"
"Eugen, don't go overboard on your games. What is done is done, though do expect to hear from me in the coming days."
Eugen let out a "Hmpf. " and walked away.
Bismarck approached Hipper with a serious gaze. She immediately got the message and composed herself, straightening her posture.
"I believe you were closest to him. Can you describe his face? Eye color, or anything of the sort?"
Admiral Hipper profusely nodded.
"Good."
And that ends the first chapter. As you can probably tell, I'm a novice writer, and most of you are probably twice my age. (Surprisingly, most of you seem to be above the age of 20.) I'm also very new to the fandom, and am looking to improve my writing of dialogue and vast amount of personalities (most of which are tropes), and I'm quite afraid I wrote August/Eugen wrong.
I also have a few questions for any hard-core Azur Lane fans that I'd appreciate if you could answer:
1: Is the German language just called "Ironblood"? Is Japanese called "Sakura" or something? 2: Does the game or anime happen first? Or, are they in separate timelines? I haven't seen Crosswave myself, so I don't know. I was going to follow the events of the anime, then maybe into the game, then into Slow Ahead.
3: (most important one) Are men just... Really rare? Is there a reason why all the ships are females, or why we never see any men, anywhere?
If you've somehow read all of this, thank you, I appreciate people reading my work. Cheers from Australia.
2023.04.01 08:10 HeadOfSpectre The Quest for America
I am Senator Duncan D. O’nutts from Alabama and I love America! I love America so much that if it were possible for me to fuck America, I’d do it. I once dug a hole in my backyard and tried but it wasn’t the same.
But rest assured one day soon I will succeed.
Regardless I am a man on a mission. This is why I became a Politician after all. I must protect our great nation of Subcanada. I must cleanse it of the vile filth that infects it!
And so, after a day of staring slack jawed into the sun and drooling as I pondered the great mysteries of life, such as where was Waldo and who was ‘Big Mac’. I remembered that mission that I had and mentioned that was very important.
Yes I am a Senator.
I needed to cleanse America of The Homosexuals. This is what the Goverment is for! I must cure them!
With much on my mind as I scoured the mountains of Appalachia, I drove my Economical Ford F-350 truck (America’s truck) to visit my good friend Jim Bob on his pig farm just up towards the Crick.
Now by God my buddy Bob Jim is a GODdamn genius. Easily the smartest man on this here planet, HELL yes! He is so very handsome. Chiseled chin, blonde hair, green eyes. He’s like that Chris Evans fella but even sexier. GOD what a man! I always wished he’d hold me, stroke my hair, tell me I was beautiful and maybe give me a good old American kiss on the lips between men who are manly, but he never did. I don't know why…
I pulled up to his lot and got out to see him sitting up on his old rockin’ chair smoking himself a cigarette with his God Given AT4 Heat Seeking Surface To Air Missile Launcher on his lap. A modest weapon to protect against any of them Queers that might invade his God given territory. He had a right to bear arms and when them Commie Democrats came round to take his rocket launcher from him, he was gonna show them the what for!
Now I ask him how we might stop the Gays and Bim Job - he goes and tells me that if I wanna cleanse America of its Homosexuality, I gots to go and find the SOURCE the ALFA GAY and defeat him in single combat.
Now that sounded just about allright to me, So I went on Wikipedia and looked up THE GAYS and I saw an ad for THE GAYS on THE GOOGLE, which is also gay because it has colors and the gays took over all the colors. There is only one color that is acceptable and that is white. Google told me of Elton John, the King of the Gays. The Rocketman. And well I knew what I had to do.
I asked Jib Bom about The England and he just shook his perfect American fist in the air and said:
“I went there once and by golly it was the worst experience of my life let me tell you son. I stopped for lunch and RadIOHEAD TOOK mY FUCkING BURRITO! HE ate MY GODDAMN MotherFUCKINH burritO! I'M SO FUCKing MAD! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!!!!!!”
“Understandable,” I said and nodded along as Jom Bib angrily shit his pants in shame.
“You go there and you FIGHT BRITAN!” Bimbo Jimbo said, “YOU FIGHT THEM FOR ME AND YOU FIGHT THEM FOR AMERICA!”
Then Harold turned into a MAJESTIC BALD EAGLE and promptly died for unrelated reasons.
So I stopped by the airport, and while I was in the bathroom, some American Man got inside next to me and I thought it might be alright if I took a little suck of his American Dick. After all, I had myself a wide stance when I dropped my patriotic turds, and my shoe touched his. So I knocked to apologize and suck his dick in recompense for disturbing this fine specimen of a man. Anywho, after I finished sucking that A-Tier Alpha Male dick and drinking down every drop of his HOT CREAMY MAN MILK like a MAN, I went and flew myself to The England and went looking for this Elton John fella.
My Father never hugged me… why did he never hug me…?
So I go up to the first house I see and I knock on his door and he comes out in a nice shirt, pants and tie and I asks him.
“Are you the Elton John?”
And he says:
“I’m sorry do I know you? I’m just on my way out the door and a little busy right now.”
So I says to him.
“Nah son I’m here to kick your ass.”
So he says to me.
“The fuck is your problem mate.”
And then I fucking punched him.
Elton John recoiled and as I went in to give him a good American Whoopin, he grabs me and punches me. So we’re struggling now, throwing hands just like them kids do during a good old American Football game and he jumps and he kicks me out his door. He tries to run past me to his car but I grab him by his ankles
“Piss off, I’m trying to pick up me kids from school!” He says but I tells him.
“HELL NO! YOU’RE NOT CORRUPTING MY AMERICA!”
And then fire shoots from his feet and Rocketman Elton John flies up into the skies and through the cosmos and I can only barely hold on as he jets towards the sun.
By GOD he’s gonna try and burn me in it!
So we crash down onto the surface of the sun and it is hotter than the Devils Arsehole. And Elton John gets up and he looks at me and he says to me.
“This is very inconvenient for me, can we do this at another time perhaps?”
And I says: "AMERICAAAAAAAA" and shot him 411 times with my God Given American Assault Rifle.
But Elton John did not support Guns and so my Gun got sad and left to go to therapy to get some real support. Then Elton John came at me from the side, throwing punches and kicks. I was on the backfoot, fighting defensively. He moved gracefully, like an expert. Being an 87 year old American Senator who has eaten nothing but triple cheeseburgers and corn starch since birth, I just couldn't compete!
The heat of the sun was sweltering and the light from it was blinding. I could only barely handle Elton John as he came at me viciously. His fist broke my nose. He jumped and axe stomped me down onto the boiling hot plasma that was our sun.
"Do you think that manufacturing moral outrages against human sexuality and peoples personal rights is just a transparent way to steer the conversation away from genuine problems with your country?" He asked. "Surely there are bigger issues than violating the cherry picked morals from some 2000+ year old book. I mean, I'm not an American and probably don't have the most nuanced understanding of your Government, but anyone with a brain can see the laundry list of problems you're ignoring in favor of complaining about moral corruption. Which seems a bit ironic since a reasonable person might come to the conclusion that rampant gun violence is a greater indicator of moral corruption than two men kissing. And while we're on the subject - why is it that so many of you aggressively cater to conspiracy theorists? Surely you can't believe this shit."
"I mean no, but it pays the bills." I said.
"And you aren't disturbed by the implications that by enabling this kind of thing you're contributing to the actual corruption of your nation? And by extension other nations?"
"STOP VIRTUE SIGNALING YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN AMERICAN!" I cried and shot him with my backup gun that I literally pulled out of my ass.
“You can’t stop the gays, Senator!” Elton John said as he picked me up by my neck, “They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it!”
Then, he threw me down, burying me in the center of the sun before flying off.
“Now… I need to pick up my children and attend a charity function for homeless youth. Ta!”
God… How could I have failed.
Elton John was going to attend a charity function to help homeless youth and there was nothing I could do to stop him…
I post now for 3 reasons.
1: To let you know the dangers of Elton John.
2: To ask if the guy I fought was the actual Elton John and not just an unrelated bloke who just so happened to also be named Elton John because I’ve been looking at a picture of Elton John for the past 72 hours and I don’t believe I’ve ever actually met this man in my life. The guy I fought had a mustache and a name tag reading: “My name is Ken.”
3: I need a ride home. I’m stuck in the center of the Sun and my phone is nearly out of battery.
submitted by HeadOfSpectre to HeadOfSpectre [link] [comments]
But rest assured one day soon I will succeed.
Regardless I am a man on a mission. This is why I became a Politician after all. I must protect our great nation of Subcanada. I must cleanse it of the vile filth that infects it!
And so, after a day of staring slack jawed into the sun and drooling as I pondered the great mysteries of life, such as where was Waldo and who was ‘Big Mac’. I remembered that mission that I had and mentioned that was very important.
Yes I am a Senator.
I needed to cleanse America of The Homosexuals. This is what the Goverment is for! I must cure them!
With much on my mind as I scoured the mountains of Appalachia, I drove my Economical Ford F-350 truck (America’s truck) to visit my good friend Jim Bob on his pig farm just up towards the Crick.
Now by God my buddy Bob Jim is a GODdamn genius. Easily the smartest man on this here planet, HELL yes! He is so very handsome. Chiseled chin, blonde hair, green eyes. He’s like that Chris Evans fella but even sexier. GOD what a man! I always wished he’d hold me, stroke my hair, tell me I was beautiful and maybe give me a good old American kiss on the lips between men who are manly, but he never did. I don't know why…
I pulled up to his lot and got out to see him sitting up on his old rockin’ chair smoking himself a cigarette with his God Given AT4 Heat Seeking Surface To Air Missile Launcher on his lap. A modest weapon to protect against any of them Queers that might invade his God given territory. He had a right to bear arms and when them Commie Democrats came round to take his rocket launcher from him, he was gonna show them the what for!
Now I ask him how we might stop the Gays and Bim Job - he goes and tells me that if I wanna cleanse America of its Homosexuality, I gots to go and find the SOURCE the ALFA GAY and defeat him in single combat.
Now that sounded just about allright to me, So I went on Wikipedia and looked up THE GAYS and I saw an ad for THE GAYS on THE GOOGLE, which is also gay because it has colors and the gays took over all the colors. There is only one color that is acceptable and that is white. Google told me of Elton John, the King of the Gays. The Rocketman. And well I knew what I had to do.
I asked Jib Bom about The England and he just shook his perfect American fist in the air and said:
“I went there once and by golly it was the worst experience of my life let me tell you son. I stopped for lunch and RadIOHEAD TOOK mY FUCkING BURRITO! HE ate MY GODDAMN MotherFUCKINH burritO! I'M SO FUCKing MAD! HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!!!!!!”
“Understandable,” I said and nodded along as Jom Bib angrily shit his pants in shame.
“You go there and you FIGHT BRITAN!” Bimbo Jimbo said, “YOU FIGHT THEM FOR ME AND YOU FIGHT THEM FOR AMERICA!”
Then Harold turned into a MAJESTIC BALD EAGLE and promptly died for unrelated reasons.
So I stopped by the airport, and while I was in the bathroom, some American Man got inside next to me and I thought it might be alright if I took a little suck of his American Dick. After all, I had myself a wide stance when I dropped my patriotic turds, and my shoe touched his. So I knocked to apologize and suck his dick in recompense for disturbing this fine specimen of a man. Anywho, after I finished sucking that A-Tier Alpha Male dick and drinking down every drop of his HOT CREAMY MAN MILK like a MAN, I went and flew myself to The England and went looking for this Elton John fella.
My Father never hugged me… why did he never hug me…?
So I go up to the first house I see and I knock on his door and he comes out in a nice shirt, pants and tie and I asks him.
“Are you the Elton John?”
And he says:
“I’m sorry do I know you? I’m just on my way out the door and a little busy right now.”
So I says to him.
“Nah son I’m here to kick your ass.”
So he says to me.
“The fuck is your problem mate.”
And then I fucking punched him.
Elton John recoiled and as I went in to give him a good American Whoopin, he grabs me and punches me. So we’re struggling now, throwing hands just like them kids do during a good old American Football game and he jumps and he kicks me out his door. He tries to run past me to his car but I grab him by his ankles
“Piss off, I’m trying to pick up me kids from school!” He says but I tells him.
“HELL NO! YOU’RE NOT CORRUPTING MY AMERICA!”
And then fire shoots from his feet and Rocketman Elton John flies up into the skies and through the cosmos and I can only barely hold on as he jets towards the sun.
By GOD he’s gonna try and burn me in it!
So we crash down onto the surface of the sun and it is hotter than the Devils Arsehole. And Elton John gets up and he looks at me and he says to me.
“This is very inconvenient for me, can we do this at another time perhaps?”
And I says: "AMERICAAAAAAAA" and shot him 411 times with my God Given American Assault Rifle.
But Elton John did not support Guns and so my Gun got sad and left to go to therapy to get some real support. Then Elton John came at me from the side, throwing punches and kicks. I was on the backfoot, fighting defensively. He moved gracefully, like an expert. Being an 87 year old American Senator who has eaten nothing but triple cheeseburgers and corn starch since birth, I just couldn't compete!
The heat of the sun was sweltering and the light from it was blinding. I could only barely handle Elton John as he came at me viciously. His fist broke my nose. He jumped and axe stomped me down onto the boiling hot plasma that was our sun.
"Do you think that manufacturing moral outrages against human sexuality and peoples personal rights is just a transparent way to steer the conversation away from genuine problems with your country?" He asked. "Surely there are bigger issues than violating the cherry picked morals from some 2000+ year old book. I mean, I'm not an American and probably don't have the most nuanced understanding of your Government, but anyone with a brain can see the laundry list of problems you're ignoring in favor of complaining about moral corruption. Which seems a bit ironic since a reasonable person might come to the conclusion that rampant gun violence is a greater indicator of moral corruption than two men kissing. And while we're on the subject - why is it that so many of you aggressively cater to conspiracy theorists? Surely you can't believe this shit."
"I mean no, but it pays the bills." I said.
"And you aren't disturbed by the implications that by enabling this kind of thing you're contributing to the actual corruption of your nation? And by extension other nations?"
"STOP VIRTUE SIGNALING YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN AMERICAN!" I cried and shot him with my backup gun that I literally pulled out of my ass.
“You can’t stop the gays, Senator!” Elton John said as he picked me up by my neck, “They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it!”
Then, he threw me down, burying me in the center of the sun before flying off.
“Now… I need to pick up my children and attend a charity function for homeless youth. Ta!”
God… How could I have failed.
Elton John was going to attend a charity function to help homeless youth and there was nothing I could do to stop him…
I post now for 3 reasons.
1: To let you know the dangers of Elton John.
2: To ask if the guy I fought was the actual Elton John and not just an unrelated bloke who just so happened to also be named Elton John because I’ve been looking at a picture of Elton John for the past 72 hours and I don’t believe I’ve ever actually met this man in my life. The guy I fought had a mustache and a name tag reading: “My name is Ken.”
3: I need a ride home. I’m stuck in the center of the Sun and my phone is nearly out of battery.
2023.04.01 04:33 Wylliam_2507 Review running shooe for hammer toes and low arches
As a fitness enthusiast, I understand the importance of having the right gear, especially when it comes to running shoes. The perfect pair of running shoes can make all the difference in your performance, injury prevention, and overall comfort. That's why I've researched and tested some of the best running shoes on the market to bring you my top picks. In this article, I'll be sharing my recommendations for the best options for those with hammer toes or low arches.
Firstly, let's talk about the best running shoes on the market. After testing a variety of brands and styles, I've found that the Nike ZoomX Vaporfly Next% is hands down the best running shoe for all types of runners. These shoes feature a lightweight and breathable design, with a carbon-fiber plate in the midsole that provides excellent energy return and responsiveness. The ZoomX foam also provides exceptional cushioning, making these shoes comfortable even on long runs. In addition, the Vaporfly Next% has a snug fit that hugs your foot and provides excellent support. These shoes are perfect for serious runners who want to improve their performance and reduce their risk of injury.
For those who are looking for a more budget-friendly option, the Brooks Ghost 13 is an excellent choice. These shoes have a balanced design that offers both cushioning and support. The DNA Loft foam in the midsole provides soft cushioning, while the BioMoGo DNA adapts to your stride and offers support where you need it most. The Ghost 13 also has a spacious toe box and a breathable upper, making it a comfortable option for long runs.
Now, let's move on to the best running shoes for hammer toes. Hammer toes are a common condition in which one or more toes bend abnormally, causing discomfort and pain. If you have hammer toes, you'll want to look for shoes that have a roomy toe box that allows your toes to spread out naturally. The Hoka One One Bondi 7 is a great option for those with hammer toes, as it has a spacious toe box and a soft, cushioned midsole. The Bondi 7 also has a rocker design that promotes a smooth, natural stride, which can help reduce pain and discomfort in your toes.
Another great option for those with hammer toes is the Altra Escalante 2.5. These shoes have a wide toe box that allows your toes to splay naturally, and the FootShape design encourages a more natural foot shape, reducing the risk of foot pain and injuries. The Escalante 2.5 also has a responsive midsole that provides cushioning and support without sacrificing performance.
Finally, let's talk about the best running shoes for low arches. Low arches, also known as flat feet, can lead to overpronation, or excessive inward rolling of the foot. If you have low arches, you'll want to look for shoes that offer stability and support. The ASICS Gel-Kayano 28 is a great option for those with low arches, as it has a stable design that helps control overpronation. The Gel cushioning system in the midsole provides excellent shock absorption, and the breathable upper keeps your feet cool and dry.
Another great option for those with low arches is the New Balance Fresh Foam 860v11. These shoes have a dual-density midsole that provides both cushioning and support, and the engineered mesh upper offers breathability and a comfortable fit. The Fresh Foam 860v11 also has a sturdy heel counter that helps control overpronation and promotes a stable stride.
In conclusion, finding the right pair of running shoes can make all the difference in your running experience. W
submitted by Wylliam_2507 to u/Wylliam_2507 [link] [comments]
Firstly, let's talk about the best running shoes on the market. After testing a variety of brands and styles, I've found that the Nike ZoomX Vaporfly Next% is hands down the best running shoe for all types of runners. These shoes feature a lightweight and breathable design, with a carbon-fiber plate in the midsole that provides excellent energy return and responsiveness. The ZoomX foam also provides exceptional cushioning, making these shoes comfortable even on long runs. In addition, the Vaporfly Next% has a snug fit that hugs your foot and provides excellent support. These shoes are perfect for serious runners who want to improve their performance and reduce their risk of injury.
For those who are looking for a more budget-friendly option, the Brooks Ghost 13 is an excellent choice. These shoes have a balanced design that offers both cushioning and support. The DNA Loft foam in the midsole provides soft cushioning, while the BioMoGo DNA adapts to your stride and offers support where you need it most. The Ghost 13 also has a spacious toe box and a breathable upper, making it a comfortable option for long runs.
Now, let's move on to the best running shoes for hammer toes. Hammer toes are a common condition in which one or more toes bend abnormally, causing discomfort and pain. If you have hammer toes, you'll want to look for shoes that have a roomy toe box that allows your toes to spread out naturally. The Hoka One One Bondi 7 is a great option for those with hammer toes, as it has a spacious toe box and a soft, cushioned midsole. The Bondi 7 also has a rocker design that promotes a smooth, natural stride, which can help reduce pain and discomfort in your toes.
Another great option for those with hammer toes is the Altra Escalante 2.5. These shoes have a wide toe box that allows your toes to splay naturally, and the FootShape design encourages a more natural foot shape, reducing the risk of foot pain and injuries. The Escalante 2.5 also has a responsive midsole that provides cushioning and support without sacrificing performance.
Finally, let's talk about the best running shoes for low arches. Low arches, also known as flat feet, can lead to overpronation, or excessive inward rolling of the foot. If you have low arches, you'll want to look for shoes that offer stability and support. The ASICS Gel-Kayano 28 is a great option for those with low arches, as it has a stable design that helps control overpronation. The Gel cushioning system in the midsole provides excellent shock absorption, and the breathable upper keeps your feet cool and dry.
Another great option for those with low arches is the New Balance Fresh Foam 860v11. These shoes have a dual-density midsole that provides both cushioning and support, and the engineered mesh upper offers breathability and a comfortable fit. The Fresh Foam 860v11 also has a sturdy heel counter that helps control overpronation and promotes a stable stride.
In conclusion, finding the right pair of running shoes can make all the difference in your running experience. W
2023.04.01 04:10 casualcarlene 160+ K-POP-related puns (April's Fools Special)
What was TOP (BIGBANG) called in his younger years? TEEN TOP.
How does MAMAMOO greet you? Hwasa-p.
Would someone please tell that one guy from EXO to pay attenCHEN?
What did B1A4’s Gongchan say when he couldn't find his shoes? Can I Baro your Sanduels?
What type of bread does EXO eat? A Kaiser roll.
How did BIGBANG perform their songs? Daesung it.
What did Minho do when he was locked out of the dorm? He found Key.
What did INFINITE do on your birthday? They Sunggyu a song.
What do you call Seungcheol at Halloween? S.POOKS.
How can you tell that GOT7 are really smart? They get full Marks.
This pun above must be the weakes Tuan.
What does Yeseob do when he's sad? He Soebs.
What kind of jewelry does f(x) have? Krystals and Ambers.
What is SEVENTEEN’s favourite creature/animal? A Dino.
What is it called when Kyungsoo sings with someone else? A DOet.
What does VIXX order at Olive Garden? Ravi-oli.
What did INFINITE say to the groupie? Ho,ya better get out my way.
What did Leeteuk reply to Sungmin? Yesung.
What does Lee Jinki say to a challenge? I will ONEW.
How do you take a picture of an EXO member from afar? You Xiumin.
What kind of tree produces grease instead of sap? The Namu Tree.
What do you call someone who keeps playfully messing with you? ATEEZ.
What did A.C.E’s Jun say to Donghyun as they were trying to escape a saesang? You better run as fast as Yuchan.
Who is considered UP10TION’s musical genius? Bit-to-ven. (Beethoven)
What does Hwanwoong say to a challenger? Keonhee do better than me?
What is WINNER’s favourite song? Song Minho.
What are Chan & Felix? AuSTRAYlian.
Where does ASTRO go to relax? The Sanha.
How far could Jungkook go when it comes to sports competitions? I think he would go farther than the reJeonals.
Where do Red Velvet like to eat? Wendy's.
Where does EXO spend most of their time? The Ki-CHEN.
What did SHINee buy EXO for their anniversary? A KEY-CHEN.
What is H.O.T’s favourite surf move? Kang-Ten.
What time is curfew for JYP artists? 2AM. Well, in my timezone, it would be 2PM.
Lee Hwanhee auditions for a survival show. The trainees wonder what group he’s from. There are many groups around, but UP10TION’s the Hwanhee’s in.
What did HAN do on stage? Jisung.
What is WJSN’s favourite Grease song? You’re Dawon That I Want.
I hear there's a shy member in VIXX? Just Leo-ve him alone.
What is SHINee’s job at the circus? Lion Taemin’.
How does SNUPER count? Five, Six, Sebin.
Why breathe air when you can breathe oxyJIN?
What happens when NCT does well? They get a Ten out of Ten.
Who visits EXO during Christmas? Suho-Ho-Ho.
What would happen if SEVENTEEN were to drink? They'd get a little bit WOOZI.
What do you do when a JYJ member calls your name? Yoochun around.
What does Key say to the bartender when he gets drunk? Kibum coming.
What is SF9’s favourite NCT DREAM song to cover? Hwiyoung. (We Young)
What did Donghae say to his antis? Please Donghae-t me.
Congratulations, you’ve just won ONEW car. Wow, it's so SHINee.
What is ATEEZ’ favourite song? Song Mingi.
What does U-KISS do when they want something from their boss? They Kiseop to him.
Where does Officer Jungkook put the criminals? The dunJeon.
What was Super Junior doing after their concert? Just Hangeng around.
What does ONEWE say at the end of a concert? Our fans, we’ll CYA soon again.
What is INFINITE’s favourite class? L-Gebra.
What happens when you put Crayolas in the microwave? You get a Crayon Pop.
What is SM’s favourite Star Wars Character? WooKey.
What do members of VIXX eat for breakfast? WeetVIXX.
What is up with Chaerin’s swag? It's so she can't CL the haters.
How does TEEN TOP beg for forgiveness? They Niel down.
Where do TWICE go to relax? The Sana.
What do THE BOYZ do when they perform the Relay Dance? They stand in a Q.
What does (G)I-DLE say instead of ‘etc’? And Seoyeon and so forth.
Why does Woohyun keep making hearts? He just wants to Woo your soul.
People have talked about Jungshook a lot. What about Shookjin and Hoshook?
Is B.A.P still together? No, so there's Zelo of them left.
What would the name of Jimin’s song be if V had originally sung it? Serendipitae.
How does that David Guetta and Justin Bieber song go? When it comes Tzuyu.
What happened when Red Velvet's Wendy went up against Super Junior in a contest? Siwon.
What happened to Leedo when ONEUS and AB6IX took part in a challenge? He Hwanwoong.
What did INFINITE learn in Chemistry? The L-ements.
What is the most common reaction to Gangnam Style? Psy.
What do you call Kai when he goes out for a run? Kim Joggin’.
What caused the BIGBANG? Normal People: Science? Me: Uh.. YG?
What did SEVENTEEN say when they won first place? We Won, Woo!
How do you send Block B mail? Through a P.O box.
What religion does EXO follow? Taoism.
What do you call a VIXX member born in August? A Leo.
If Yoongi were a mythical creature, would he be a Yoonicorn?
What was Superman called as a child? Super Junior.
What did Hoya ask the other members when they announced the winner and he wasn’t paying attention? Howon?
Do you know why Jeongin is my bias? It's because I'm I.N love with him.
Why do 2NE1 hate packaged goods? It’s because they have to break the CL to open it.
What did Woohyun say to Inspirits? I love Gyu.
What is SEVENTEEN’s favourite Jonas Brothers song? Vernon’ Up.
If Minseok comes to a conclusion without evidence, you could say he's aXiumin things.
If SOPE (BTS) were to star in a television show, would we call that a SOPE Opera?
I gotta Luhand it to you, I wasn’t Sehun this coming.
Why couldn't Super Junior find their pants? Because Leeteuk them.
What happened when Mr. Moon left his food outside overnight? It became s-Taeil.
What did Yeo do at an ATEEZ concert? Yeosang a song.
Why is Crayon Pop the messiest K-POP group? It's because they're never doing their Choa’s.
What do Golden Child play when they’re bored? TAG.
Jonghyun is such a good singer? He is never off-KEY.
Why is Daniel the maknae of Dalmation? He’s the Youngwon.
How does that one song go? From the windows to the Hwalls.
What is MBLAQ’s favourite month? Lee June.
You know how Jin gives food to the people with him, especially in VLive? That's what we call Jinerosity.
What did SEVENTEEN call Seo Myungho when he didn't arrive on time? The L8.
There are 12 Mons in a year, and BTS’ favourite is NamJune.
What happens when you do something bad to D.O? He Kyung-sues you. He Kyungfu kicks you.
What does Dara say when she loses? Dara-nit.
I know a lot about MONSTA X, so you could say I.M their biggest fan.
What does Stray Kids’ Lee Yongbok do when his lips are dry? He Lix them.
Have you heard ATEEZ’ new title track ‘Inception’? I hope Yunho what song I’m talking about.
Why did BIGBANG suddenly get down on one knee? They were Taeyang their shoes.
What did Soohyun do when he broke something precious to Kevin? Eli’d.
What is DAY6’s favourite alphabet letter? Jae.
What did Red Velvet say when the We Got Married season ended? Oh, Joy.
How does Ten say Hi? Thai everyone.
What is Jellyfish Entertainment’s favourite ointment? VIXX.
Before Hwa started his performance, Wooyoung asked, “Are you going to sing a Seong,Hwa?
What did a Jewish person say to a Golden Child member when he asked about their religion? I’m a Joochan.
What do you do with Stray Kids’ Chris at night? You Bang Chan. (I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.)
What did Luk Factory say when NOIR finally won first place? Daewon.
What is MBLAQ’s favourite animal? A MIRcat.
Why doesn't EXO smell? They use D.Odorant.
What did Lee Donghyuck say when he met Christopher Bang? Haechan.
What is EXO’s favourite breakfast? Eggs and Baekhyun.
What is LOONA’s favourite movie soundtrack? My Heart Will Gowon.
What did MAMAMOO say when they saw their song was doing really well on the charts? Are Wheein first place?
If you’re a fit person, you’ve probably been Jimin’ quite a lot.
Why did Lee do so well on his test? It’s because Lee Know all the answers.
What is BAP’s favourite bird? A Youngjae.
Who is the warmest member in ATEEZ? San.
Some people have to take many pills for their medical conditions, fortunately for me, I only have to take Wonpil.
One day Highlight was planning their comeback. Gikwang says: How about making a comeback in May? Their manager says: No, let’s Do-joon.
For Yoongi stans, he could be a big part of their Yooniverse. He keeps Bangtan Yoonified. He is very Yoonique. Yoongi owning a Kingdom. Yoonited Kingdom. The Daegu Boys, although they are game cheaters, they keep Bangtan YooniTaed.
NU’EST are quite busy people, always running Arond.
Hi, I’m Park Chanyeol, and you’re watching Disney Chanyeol.
I J-Hope you’ve been enjoying these puns so far.
How does EXO wish you Happy Holidays? Merry Krismas Tao you.
Taecyeon walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “A drink, Mr Kim?” Taecyeon replies, “No thanks, I'm Ok.
There was a time when a fan bought a part of the moon and named it, "Kim Namjoon". I would be laughing if someone decided to name it "Rap Moon".
Have you heard that new ONEUS song everyone’s been Ravn’ about?
If you have JYP’s baby, would he lean over it and whisper, “This is a JYP Production.”
“Did you drop that?” “Minah”. (Me? Nah.)
Jihyo, you are the reason that I breath. Jihyo, you are the reason that I still believe. (Listen to the A.R Rahman & Pussycat Dolls song for reference.)
Kun will be the perfect boyfriend. He will love you unKunditionally.
I told my friend about this one boy group. I said, “They’re really Great,Guys.”
If you're a baby fan, you could say you're a Newkidd.
If you’re a smart and bright youngster, you could say you’re a Golden Child.
I really like that one member of WINNER, he’s a very JINUine person.
What is an informal way to address a group of men singing in a K-POP group? Let's just call them THE BOYZ.
Hears a noise: JungLOOK. Gets a teaching job: JungBOOK. Is hungry: JungCOOK. Gets scared: JungSHOOK.
Little girl got into an accident. How Hyorible. She was Sooyoung.
A pack of wolves broke into Woollim Entertainment and ate a two member boy band. They were Tasty.
What does GFRIEND use instead of ‘etc’ or ‘and so forth’? And Sowon.
What does NCT’s Japanese member say to the other members? Can Yuta-ke my heart?
What did the models do when they became K-POP idols? They ulzzang.
When you debut, you are automatically an Idle, but if you work hard enough, you can become an iKON.
When you see something relatable online, you’d tend to say this is SOMI.
(This is more of a story). You spend hours locked up in the studio, your skin is pale white and ice cold. You change your hairstyle like no tomorrow and you… Sometimes dress like a girl. There was a pause between them. She opened her lips again. “I know what you are.” “Say it. Say it.” “ … G-Dragon.”
When it comes to K-POP, I must tell you, I'm very IN2IT. The experience is quite UNIQ. The music releases are INFINITE. I listen to K-Music Weeekly, although I listen to the most music on DAY6/SATURDAY, After School has finished, round about Seven ‘O Clock. If I’m busy, I listen to it once AWEEK. I like listening to the NU'EST songs. Oftentimes, it's the Highlight of my day. Sometimes I think I might eNOI my family a bit.
My love for K-POP is ASTROnomical.
Once you get into K-POP, there’s no EXID.
When it comes to puns, OnlyOneOf these answers can end up on top.
K-POP puns are so hard to come up with, I'm trying to find ONEWE would all find funny.
If coming up with puns was a test, I'm sure I'd A.C.E it, but I'm not going to lie, it's VERIVERY hard. In the end, I really want that 100%.
SONG PUNS:
When will GOT7 disband? Never Ever.
What did WINNER say when they found out YG was cancelling their concert? Really, Really, Really, Really?
What were WINNER doing with books and pencils? They were Color Ring.
When is INFINITE’s curfew? Before The Dawn.
What do VERIVERY play when they’re bored? Tag Tag Tag.
What is ONEUS’ favourite song to sing? A Song Written Easily.
FANDOM NAME PUNS:
Are you a U-KISS fan? Because KissMe.
I just bought a new SHINee album. Now I need to Shawol my K-POP friends.
What did Hongjoong ask Mingi when he saw he had lots of leftover food? Can I have ATINY bit of your food?
How many bias groups do you have? IGOT7.
COMPANY NAME PUNS:
Why is BTS getting so popular now? You could say it’s because they’re a Big Hit.
PICK-UP lines:
Here are some pick-up lines just for added effect, because, honestly, some of these are just great.
Are you BLACKPINK? Because I want to be in my area.
Are you an Inspirit? Because my love for you is INFINITE.
My name is Soonyoung, but you can call Soon.
Bambam is the sound my heart makes when I see you.
I DREAM about U 127 hours of the week.
Is Lee a thief, becuase Leeteuk my heart.
You want a pick-up line, because IGOT7.
I know your name is the The8, but you’re The1 for me.
Are you a PENTAGON fan, because you’re my UNIVERSE.
GENERAL K-POP JOKES:
Pray for Mark Lee. He’s already in his third unit in a row. He did say it would be a long ass ride.
How does BamBam wipe his tears? He dabs them. insert dance move
Why didn’t Starship Entertainment artists go trick or treating in 2016? It’s because of Mad Clowns.
What do you call GOT7’s Jinyoung with a cape? Super Junior.
submitted by casualcarlene to kpop [link] [comments]
How does MAMAMOO greet you? Hwasa-p.
Would someone please tell that one guy from EXO to pay attenCHEN?
What did B1A4’s Gongchan say when he couldn't find his shoes? Can I Baro your Sanduels?
What type of bread does EXO eat? A Kaiser roll.
How did BIGBANG perform their songs? Daesung it.
What did Minho do when he was locked out of the dorm? He found Key.
What did INFINITE do on your birthday? They Sunggyu a song.
What do you call Seungcheol at Halloween? S.POOKS.
How can you tell that GOT7 are really smart? They get full Marks.
This pun above must be the weakes Tuan.
What does Yeseob do when he's sad? He Soebs.
What kind of jewelry does f(x) have? Krystals and Ambers.
What is SEVENTEEN’s favourite creature/animal? A Dino.
What is it called when Kyungsoo sings with someone else? A DOet.
What does VIXX order at Olive Garden? Ravi-oli.
What did INFINITE say to the groupie? Ho,ya better get out my way.
What did Leeteuk reply to Sungmin? Yesung.
What does Lee Jinki say to a challenge? I will ONEW.
How do you take a picture of an EXO member from afar? You Xiumin.
What kind of tree produces grease instead of sap? The Namu Tree.
What do you call someone who keeps playfully messing with you? ATEEZ.
What did A.C.E’s Jun say to Donghyun as they were trying to escape a saesang? You better run as fast as Yuchan.
Who is considered UP10TION’s musical genius? Bit-to-ven. (Beethoven)
What does Hwanwoong say to a challenger? Keonhee do better than me?
What is WINNER’s favourite song? Song Minho.
What are Chan & Felix? AuSTRAYlian.
Where does ASTRO go to relax? The Sanha.
How far could Jungkook go when it comes to sports competitions? I think he would go farther than the reJeonals.
Where do Red Velvet like to eat? Wendy's.
Where does EXO spend most of their time? The Ki-CHEN.
What did SHINee buy EXO for their anniversary? A KEY-CHEN.
What is H.O.T’s favourite surf move? Kang-Ten.
What time is curfew for JYP artists? 2AM. Well, in my timezone, it would be 2PM.
Lee Hwanhee auditions for a survival show. The trainees wonder what group he’s from. There are many groups around, but UP10TION’s the Hwanhee’s in.
What did HAN do on stage? Jisung.
What is WJSN’s favourite Grease song? You’re Dawon That I Want.
I hear there's a shy member in VIXX? Just Leo-ve him alone.
What is SHINee’s job at the circus? Lion Taemin’.
How does SNUPER count? Five, Six, Sebin.
Why breathe air when you can breathe oxyJIN?
What happens when NCT does well? They get a Ten out of Ten.
Who visits EXO during Christmas? Suho-Ho-Ho.
What would happen if SEVENTEEN were to drink? They'd get a little bit WOOZI.
What do you do when a JYJ member calls your name? Yoochun around.
What does Key say to the bartender when he gets drunk? Kibum coming.
What is SF9’s favourite NCT DREAM song to cover? Hwiyoung. (We Young)
What did Donghae say to his antis? Please Donghae-t me.
Congratulations, you’ve just won ONEW car. Wow, it's so SHINee.
What is ATEEZ’ favourite song? Song Mingi.
What does U-KISS do when they want something from their boss? They Kiseop to him.
Where does Officer Jungkook put the criminals? The dunJeon.
What was Super Junior doing after their concert? Just Hangeng around.
What does ONEWE say at the end of a concert? Our fans, we’ll CYA soon again.
What is INFINITE’s favourite class? L-Gebra.
What happens when you put Crayolas in the microwave? You get a Crayon Pop.
What is SM’s favourite Star Wars Character? WooKey.
What do members of VIXX eat for breakfast? WeetVIXX.
What is up with Chaerin’s swag? It's so she can't CL the haters.
How does TEEN TOP beg for forgiveness? They Niel down.
Where do TWICE go to relax? The Sana.
What do THE BOYZ do when they perform the Relay Dance? They stand in a Q.
What does (G)I-DLE say instead of ‘etc’? And Seoyeon and so forth.
Why does Woohyun keep making hearts? He just wants to Woo your soul.
People have talked about Jungshook a lot. What about Shookjin and Hoshook?
Is B.A.P still together? No, so there's Zelo of them left.
What would the name of Jimin’s song be if V had originally sung it? Serendipitae.
How does that David Guetta and Justin Bieber song go? When it comes Tzuyu.
What happened when Red Velvet's Wendy went up against Super Junior in a contest? Siwon.
What happened to Leedo when ONEUS and AB6IX took part in a challenge? He Hwanwoong.
What did INFINITE learn in Chemistry? The L-ements.
What is the most common reaction to Gangnam Style? Psy.
What do you call Kai when he goes out for a run? Kim Joggin’.
What caused the BIGBANG? Normal People: Science? Me: Uh.. YG?
What did SEVENTEEN say when they won first place? We Won, Woo!
How do you send Block B mail? Through a P.O box.
What religion does EXO follow? Taoism.
What do you call a VIXX member born in August? A Leo.
If Yoongi were a mythical creature, would he be a Yoonicorn?
What was Superman called as a child? Super Junior.
What did Hoya ask the other members when they announced the winner and he wasn’t paying attention? Howon?
Do you know why Jeongin is my bias? It's because I'm I.N love with him.
Why do 2NE1 hate packaged goods? It’s because they have to break the CL to open it.
What did Woohyun say to Inspirits? I love Gyu.
What is SEVENTEEN’s favourite Jonas Brothers song? Vernon’ Up.
If Minseok comes to a conclusion without evidence, you could say he's aXiumin things.
If SOPE (BTS) were to star in a television show, would we call that a SOPE Opera?
I gotta Luhand it to you, I wasn’t Sehun this coming.
Why couldn't Super Junior find their pants? Because Leeteuk them.
What happened when Mr. Moon left his food outside overnight? It became s-Taeil.
What did Yeo do at an ATEEZ concert? Yeosang a song.
Why is Crayon Pop the messiest K-POP group? It's because they're never doing their Choa’s.
What do Golden Child play when they’re bored? TAG.
Jonghyun is such a good singer? He is never off-KEY.
Why is Daniel the maknae of Dalmation? He’s the Youngwon.
How does that one song go? From the windows to the Hwalls.
What is MBLAQ’s favourite month? Lee June.
You know how Jin gives food to the people with him, especially in VLive? That's what we call Jinerosity.
What did SEVENTEEN call Seo Myungho when he didn't arrive on time? The L8.
There are 12 Mons in a year, and BTS’ favourite is NamJune.
What happens when you do something bad to D.O? He Kyung-sues you. He Kyungfu kicks you.
What does Dara say when she loses? Dara-nit.
I know a lot about MONSTA X, so you could say I.M their biggest fan.
What does Stray Kids’ Lee Yongbok do when his lips are dry? He Lix them.
Have you heard ATEEZ’ new title track ‘Inception’? I hope Yunho what song I’m talking about.
Why did BIGBANG suddenly get down on one knee? They were Taeyang their shoes.
What did Soohyun do when he broke something precious to Kevin? Eli’d.
What is DAY6’s favourite alphabet letter? Jae.
What did Red Velvet say when the We Got Married season ended? Oh, Joy.
How does Ten say Hi? Thai everyone.
What is Jellyfish Entertainment’s favourite ointment? VIXX.
Before Hwa started his performance, Wooyoung asked, “Are you going to sing a Seong,Hwa?
What did a Jewish person say to a Golden Child member when he asked about their religion? I’m a Joochan.
What do you do with Stray Kids’ Chris at night? You Bang Chan. (I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.)
What did Luk Factory say when NOIR finally won first place? Daewon.
What is MBLAQ’s favourite animal? A MIRcat.
Why doesn't EXO smell? They use D.Odorant.
What did Lee Donghyuck say when he met Christopher Bang? Haechan.
What is EXO’s favourite breakfast? Eggs and Baekhyun.
What is LOONA’s favourite movie soundtrack? My Heart Will Gowon.
What did MAMAMOO say when they saw their song was doing really well on the charts? Are Wheein first place?
If you’re a fit person, you’ve probably been Jimin’ quite a lot.
Why did Lee do so well on his test? It’s because Lee Know all the answers.
What is BAP’s favourite bird? A Youngjae.
Who is the warmest member in ATEEZ? San.
Some people have to take many pills for their medical conditions, fortunately for me, I only have to take Wonpil.
One day Highlight was planning their comeback. Gikwang says: How about making a comeback in May? Their manager says: No, let’s Do-joon.
For Yoongi stans, he could be a big part of their Yooniverse. He keeps Bangtan Yoonified. He is very Yoonique. Yoongi owning a Kingdom. Yoonited Kingdom. The Daegu Boys, although they are game cheaters, they keep Bangtan YooniTaed.
NU’EST are quite busy people, always running Arond.
Hi, I’m Park Chanyeol, and you’re watching Disney Chanyeol.
I J-Hope you’ve been enjoying these puns so far.
How does EXO wish you Happy Holidays? Merry Krismas Tao you.
Taecyeon walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “A drink, Mr Kim?” Taecyeon replies, “No thanks, I'm Ok.
There was a time when a fan bought a part of the moon and named it, "Kim Namjoon". I would be laughing if someone decided to name it "Rap Moon".
Have you heard that new ONEUS song everyone’s been Ravn’ about?
If you have JYP’s baby, would he lean over it and whisper, “This is a JYP Production.”
“Did you drop that?” “Minah”. (Me? Nah.)
Jihyo, you are the reason that I breath. Jihyo, you are the reason that I still believe. (Listen to the A.R Rahman & Pussycat Dolls song for reference.)
Kun will be the perfect boyfriend. He will love you unKunditionally.
I told my friend about this one boy group. I said, “They’re really Great,Guys.”
If you're a baby fan, you could say you're a Newkidd.
If you’re a smart and bright youngster, you could say you’re a Golden Child.
I really like that one member of WINNER, he’s a very JINUine person.
What is an informal way to address a group of men singing in a K-POP group? Let's just call them THE BOYZ.
Hears a noise: JungLOOK. Gets a teaching job: JungBOOK. Is hungry: JungCOOK. Gets scared: JungSHOOK.
Little girl got into an accident. How Hyorible. She was Sooyoung.
A pack of wolves broke into Woollim Entertainment and ate a two member boy band. They were Tasty.
What does GFRIEND use instead of ‘etc’ or ‘and so forth’? And Sowon.
What does NCT’s Japanese member say to the other members? Can Yuta-ke my heart?
What did the models do when they became K-POP idols? They ulzzang.
When you debut, you are automatically an Idle, but if you work hard enough, you can become an iKON.
When you see something relatable online, you’d tend to say this is SOMI.
(This is more of a story). You spend hours locked up in the studio, your skin is pale white and ice cold. You change your hairstyle like no tomorrow and you… Sometimes dress like a girl. There was a pause between them. She opened her lips again. “I know what you are.” “Say it. Say it.” “ … G-Dragon.”
When it comes to K-POP, I must tell you, I'm very IN2IT. The experience is quite UNIQ. The music releases are INFINITE. I listen to K-Music Weeekly, although I listen to the most music on DAY6/SATURDAY, After School has finished, round about Seven ‘O Clock. If I’m busy, I listen to it once AWEEK. I like listening to the NU'EST songs. Oftentimes, it's the Highlight of my day. Sometimes I think I might eNOI my family a bit.
My love for K-POP is ASTROnomical.
Once you get into K-POP, there’s no EXID.
When it comes to puns, OnlyOneOf these answers can end up on top.
K-POP puns are so hard to come up with, I'm trying to find ONEWE would all find funny.
If coming up with puns was a test, I'm sure I'd A.C.E it, but I'm not going to lie, it's VERIVERY hard. In the end, I really want that 100%.
SONG PUNS:
When will GOT7 disband? Never Ever.
What did WINNER say when they found out YG was cancelling their concert? Really, Really, Really, Really?
What were WINNER doing with books and pencils? They were Color Ring.
When is INFINITE’s curfew? Before The Dawn.
What do VERIVERY play when they’re bored? Tag Tag Tag.
What is ONEUS’ favourite song to sing? A Song Written Easily.
FANDOM NAME PUNS:
Are you a U-KISS fan? Because KissMe.
I just bought a new SHINee album. Now I need to Shawol my K-POP friends.
What did Hongjoong ask Mingi when he saw he had lots of leftover food? Can I have ATINY bit of your food?
How many bias groups do you have? IGOT7.
COMPANY NAME PUNS:
Why is BTS getting so popular now? You could say it’s because they’re a Big Hit.
PICK-UP lines:
Here are some pick-up lines just for added effect, because, honestly, some of these are just great.
Are you BLACKPINK? Because I want to be in my area.
Are you an Inspirit? Because my love for you is INFINITE.
My name is Soonyoung, but you can call Soon.
Bambam is the sound my heart makes when I see you.
I DREAM about U 127 hours of the week.
Is Lee a thief, becuase Leeteuk my heart.
You want a pick-up line, because IGOT7.
I know your name is the The8, but you’re The1 for me.
Are you a PENTAGON fan, because you’re my UNIVERSE.
GENERAL K-POP JOKES:
Pray for Mark Lee. He’s already in his third unit in a row. He did say it would be a long ass ride.
How does BamBam wipe his tears? He dabs them. insert dance move
Why didn’t Starship Entertainment artists go trick or treating in 2016? It’s because of Mad Clowns.
What do you call GOT7’s Jinyoung with a cape? Super Junior.
2023.04.01 03:26 KirkHammettJigsaw Booking the NJPW World Television Championship Until Wrestle Kingdom 18 Straight Shooter
 | submitted by KirkHammettJigsaw to FantasyBookingElite [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/o71zilxbd6ra1.png?width=536&format=png&auto=webp&s=d357a02bacc47fda1eefd69ff587d2f91d27f4d5 Most wrestling championships are, of course, very similar. Same rules, same type of prestige, held by similar types of wrestlers, etc. The NJPW World Television Championship, though, is different. Every match has a fifteen minute time limit. If you run out of time, the match goes to a coin flip. The phrase “to be the man, you gotta beat the man” doesn’t apply here, because if the man fails to defeat you, then they could still lose the belt off of complete chance. It’s a concept that greatly interests me, and since it’s still new, the first year of its existence will shape how the gold is viewed in the future. It was captured for the first time at Wrestle Kingdom 17, so let’s book it until Wrestle Kingdom 18, shall we? NJPW Sakura Genesis 2023 Shota Umino vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Zack Sabre Jr. has had a fun reign with the NJPW World Television Championship so far (despite his banger of a theme being changed), and tonight, he’s defending against a man that some have called the future of FBE, Shota Umino. Umino became one of the most well known Young Lions in the company back when he was following Jon Moxley everywhere, but “Shooter” is not a Young Boy anymore. He’s received co-signs from legends of the game, but praise only goes so far. Tonight, it’s sink or swim in the biggest match of his career, and he’s facing a man more than capable of twisting him into knots and ripping his limbs clean off his body (okay, maybe not CLEAN off). It’s a huge test, but with his potential, anything is possible. The match is a lot of fun, as they both work aggressively, not wanting to cut things close with this fifteen minute time limit. Sabre looks for a submission the whole time, but Umino is doing a good job of staying positioned near the ropes so that he can break the holds every time The Technical Wizard gets a hold of him. Shota tries to create space with his striking, and after a beautiful Dropkick, he takes control for a while. Time is starting to tick, and after wearing Blondie down with some strikes, Shota lifts the Champion up and plans him with a Fisherman’s Suplex! Hooks the leg with a Bridging Pin! One…Two…and Sabre kicks out! He picks Zack up, but Sabre catches him with a big Forearm and grabs a Headlock. He tries for a Headlock Takeover, but Umino manages to stay on his feet, and both men go toppling through the ropes and to the apron. Sabre starts trying to lift Shota back into the ring so that he can submit him, with time ticking down. Desperately, he starts to wear Umino down by locking in an Octopus Hold! We breach the fourteen minute mark, and the challenger makes the daring move to leap off the apron, The Front Man still on his back! This hurts both men, but Umino limps to his feet and throws ZSJ in the ring, the clock dangerously low! He goes for the Death Rider on his opponent, but Junior counters and transitions into a Cradle Pin! One…Two…and Umino gets the shoulder up! Both men dart to their feet and throw a Lariat, and both connect and fall to the mat! Three…Two…One…ZERO! Time has expired, and we’re going to a coin flip decision! Both men stand up, and Sabre, with the Champion’s Right to choose, picks tails. The coin toss happens, and results in…HEADS! SHOTA UMINO HAS WON THE NJPW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP, AND SABRE IS FURIOUS! Shota Umino def. Zack Sabre Jr. in 15:00 to win the NJPW World Television Championship NJPW Collision in Philadelphia Danny Limelight vs. Shota Umino (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Shota is right back in action, and after a callout on Twitter, Danny Limelight of Team Filthy has gotten himself a championship opportunity. This match is quite fun, with Limelight showcasing exactly why he’s one of the most underrated men in wrestling today. However, Shota is ultimately able to take firm control of the contest, and around the ten minute mark, he plants Limelight with a Spike Death Rider and pins him for the victory. Danny leaves the ring with Team Filthy, but they look back at Shota with vitriol in their eyes. Shota Umino def. Danny Limelight in 9:21 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship NJPW Hirooki Goto 20th Anniversary Shota Umino and Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. TenKoji On Hirooki Goto’s twentieth anniversary, we get a tag match with three NJPW legends and one potential future legend. The tag match is a lot of fun, and at the end, Shota gets a huge rub as he plants Tenzan with a Death Rider to pick up the victory. Everybody in the ring embraces each other, and then Tanahashi and Umino salute the crowd, but Team Filthy ruins the party, darting out and laying waste to Shota! Tom Lawlor stands tall, picking up the World Television Championship and posing with it while the rest of Team Filthy holds Tana off! Shota Umino and Hiroshi Tanahashi def. TenKoji in 11:45 NJPW Road to Wrestling Dontaku 2023: Day Seven Tom Lawlor vs. Ryohei Oiwa Oiwa tries his very best in this one, showing tremendous heart, but of course, Lawlor is able to dispatch the Young Lion pretty quickly, locking him in a choke and forcing him to submit. After the match, Team Filthy celebrates in the ring, but Shota Umino runs out with a chair and starts knocking most of the members to the side! He gets a hold of Tom Lawlor and starts wailing on him with the weapon until officials get in between the two! They’re having a title match next week at Wrestling Dontaku, and this one is going to have some heat behind it! Tom Lawlor def. Ryohei Oiwa in 3:08 NJPW Wrestling Dontaku 2023 Tom Lawlor vs. Shota Umino (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Umino is pissed coming into this match, angry that Filthy Tom spoiled his moment at Goto’s Anniversary Show, and he starts swinging for the fences from the very beginning. Lawlor, a skilled grappler, is able to use Roughneck’s anger and aggression against him, taking advantage of his overzealousness. Because of this, the match lasts quite a while, even going late into the thirteenth minute, but Umino is able to retain with a Death Rider from the middle rope. His aggression worked this time, but Filthy gave him a hell of a fight. Could Shota’s style cost him in the future? Shota Umino def. Tom Lawlor in 13:51 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship NJPW Best of the Super Juniors 2023: Day Three Robbie Eagles has just lost a match in the BOSJ, and he is furious about it. Instead of placing the blame on himself, though, he blames the referee for his contest, Red Shoes Unno! Eagles grabs Red Shoes and threatens him, but he isn’t safe for long because Unno’s son, Shota Umino, rushes out to defend him! Eagles runs off, but Umino stares him down. In the post-show press conference, Umino is furious and wants Eagles to face him on a night where Robbie’s block isn’t competing. The contest is scheduled for the sixth day of BOSJ. NJPW Best of the Super Juniors 2023: Day Six Robbie Eagles vs. Shota Umino (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Shota, just like last time, comes out of the gate very aggressively, which is a good strategy for a match with a short time limit, but also a risky one. Eagles is able to do some damage, and a lot of it is because he manages to piss Umino off and take advantage, even hitting a brutal Poison Rana! It’s a back-and-forth affair, but eventually, Umino manages to escape a Michinoku Driver attempt, lock Robbie in a standing Sleeper, weaken him sufficiently enough, and plant him with a Death Rider for the pinfall victory! Shota Umino def. Robbie Eagles in 12:24 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship After the match, Eagles gets up and offers a handshake to the man that just defeated him. Shota seems very, very hesitant, but accepts it, and the two shake hands. However, Zack Sabre Jr., Robbie's TMDK stablemate and the man that Shota took the belt from, attacks Roughneck from behind! He soaks in the jeers from the crowd, and, in the post-show press conference, states that he wants to challenge for the TV Title at Dominion. He says that he lost the belt via coin flip, so Shota is the champion legitimately based on pure chance. He’s too aggressive, not refined enough, and he WILL make a mistake so big that Sabre will be able to capitalize and take his belt back. Later on in the scrum, Shota accepts. AEW Dynamite (May 31) Bryan Danielson doesn’t yet have a match for Forbidden Door, but he has a proposal. In New Japan, there’s a pretty new title, the World Television Championship. He knows that by Forbidden Door, that belt will belong to either Shota Umino or Zack Sabre Jr. The prospect of either match is exciting to him, because he has heard stories about “Shooter” from Moxley, and he was meant to face The Bone Master at last year’s Forbidden Door. Plus, the American Dragon wants to make in-roads in Japan, so this is the perfect opportunity. No matter who has the strap, the Blackpool Combat Club is coming for it in Toronto. NJPW Dominion 6.10 in Osaka-Jo Hall Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Shota Umino (c) - NJPW World Television Championship This match literally went to the wire last time it happened, and Shota Umino doesn’t want to leave his aspirations and his destiny in the hands of fate once again, so he wrestles even more aggressively than last time! ZSJ, though? He sort of hangs back, takes a beating for a while, hoping for Shota to make a mistake. Indeed he does, as the champion goes for a Rolling Elbow without setting it up properly, and the Submission Master is able to isolate the arm and begin manipulating Shota in position for a Hurrah! Another Year, Surely This One Will Be Better Than The Last; The Inexorable March of Progress Will Lead Us All to Happiness! Shota has no choice but to tap out! After three defenses, the NJPW World Television Championship has returned to TMDK! Zack Sabre Jr. def. Shota Umino in 10:59 to win the NJPW World Television Championship AEW Dynamite (June 21) Zack Sabre Jr., in a pre-taped segment, talks about his upcoming match with Bryan Danielson at the second Forbidden Door event. He says that he has been looking forward to this match for a long while, for two reasons. Firstly, last year, he was meant to face the Dragon, and it fell through. Secondly, last year, he lost to a Blackpool Combat Club member in Claudio Castagnoli, and Bryan denied him the chance to prepare, so he’s been holding that grudge ever since. He doesn’t want to inflict punishment on Danielson for only fifteen minutes, no. He has spoken to AEW and NJPW officials, and he has negotiated a stipulation. Two out of Three Falls, and every fall is contested under NJPW World Television Championship rules! AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door II Two out of Three Falls: Bryan Danielson vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (c) - NJPW World Television Championship The first fall is a very fun one, as the two men in the ring exchange technical holds in one of the finest displays of chain wrestling in recent memory. It’s very evenly-matched, and even geared towards ZSJ for much of the contest, but once the BCC member is able to escape the Jim Breaks Armbar, he’s able to take control by peppering the TMDK leader with Roundhouse Kicks. One of the kicks catches Sabre directly in the skull, and Danielson takes him down and applies the LeBell Lock, but he hasn’t been paying attention to the clock, and time expires! The referee gets a coin, and ZSJ calls Tails for the coin toss. The coin lands on…TAILS! Zack Sabre Jr. escaped by the skin of his teeth, getting saved by the bell and then getting the luck of the draw! In the second fall, though, Danielson carries on his momentum from the first, and on top of that, he is VERY angry about the coin toss not going his way. He comes out of the gate wrestling as aggressively as Shota Umino, but unlike Umino, Sabre can’t seem to counter it. He gets some offense in here and there, but Bryan is pressuring him too much, and all of the kicks do a lot of cumulative damage. After thwarting an attempt at Hypernormalisation, Danielson runs the ropes and levels Sabre with a Busaiku Knee! Makes the cover! One…Two…Three! That fall went less than seven minutes, and Danielson has full control! He waits in the corner for Zack to find his footing for the third fall. The third and final fall begins, and Danielson goes for another Busaiku Knee, but it’s dodged! This one has plenty of reversals in it, neither man managing to lock the other in a submission! ZSJ is probably slightly more technically proficient, but Bryan is able to bridge the gap with his striking, and once we’re past the ten minute mark of this fall, both men are just absolutely destroyed! Danielson is throwing kick after kick after kick, and they’re landing to the body, but ZSJ catches one and slaps on a Heel Hook, or as he calls it, the Sunday Rail Engineering Works Replacement Bus Service! Danielson is locked in the middle of the ring, and he has no choice but to tap out! ZSJ has retained the NJPW World Television Championship! Zack Sabre Jr. def. Bryan Danielson two falls to one to retain the NJPW World Television Championship NJPW G1 Climax 33 The G1 Climax rolls around, and it’s NOT A FOUR BLOCK BULLSHIT G1. Zack Sabre Jr. is in the A Block, and, to the delight of NJPW fans and AEW fans everywhere, Bryan Danielson is in the B Block! Danielson is very angry that he lost at Forbidden Door, especially considering the fact that he was well on his way to winning the first fall before the coin flip went in Sabre Jr.’s favour. While both men have plenty of great matches in their respective blocks, neither one makes the finals. Their feud does result in a match at the Finals, though. TMDK is at ZSJ’s side, but BCC isn’t in Japan, so Danielson enlists the help of Strong Style. TMDK (Zack Sabre Jr., Mikey Nicholls, Shane Haste and Robbie Eagles) vs. Bryan Danielson and Strong Style (Minoru Suzuki, Ren Narita and El Desperado) Strong Style and Bryan Danielson are cut from the same cloth, and the quartet works well together, with the group allowing the American Dragon to get some shots in at ZSJ. However, the chemistry isn’t there as much as it is with TMDK, and Haste and Nicholls are able to isolate Despy on the outside of the ring and take him out. Suzuki and Sabre, as former stablemates, have a very fun sequence, and Narita shines in the contest as well, but the eventual finish comes when Eagles rolls a beaten-down Desperado into the ring, and ZSJ plants his former partner with the Zack Driver to pick up the win. TMDK def. Bryan Danielson and Strong Style in 13:13 After the match, ZSJ grabs the mic and shit-talks Danielson, telling him to pack his shit and go back to the “Blackpool Country Club”. Suddenly, the big screen lights up, and on it is Jon Moxley! He talks about how he was supposed to face Zack Sabre Jr., but didn’t. Recently, he was supposed to wrestle in the UK, but he didn’t. If The Front Man hates BCC so much, how about they make up for all the lost time and face off for the Television Championship at Royal Quest? ZSJ contemplates it, and agrees to the contest. Mox, on the big screen, says “I don’t know what you just said, because this video just so happens to be…pre-recorded.” The champion turns around, and Mox is right there! Death Rider, and he runs away before TMDK can get to him! NJPW Royal Quest III Jon Moxley vs. Zack Sabre Jr. (c) - NJPW World Television Championship This match has been long-awaited, and Zack Sabre Jr., in his home country, is looking to extend his second reign with the NJPW World Television Championship. Jon Moxley, though, is an absolute force. This is a great dichotomy of styles, as Mox tries to get the match on the outside of the ring to do damage with his great brawling, while The Submission Master wants things right in the middle of the squared circle so that he can submit the Death Rider. After a frenetic match, ZSJ is busted open, and he’s trying desperately to take Mox down, but he stuffs the takedown! Elbows to the back of the head! Hooks the arms! PARADIGM SHIFT/DEATH RIDER! COVER! ONE…TWO…THREE! JON MOXLEY IS THE NEW NJPW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION! Jon Moxley def. Zack Sabre Jr. in 14:31 to win the NJPW World Television Championship AEW Dynamite (September 6) We get a recap of Royal Quest, showing the fact that Jon Moxley has won the NJPW World Television Championship, and then we cut to a backstage promo from the man himself. He talks about how he has always loved performing in New Japan, but it seems like wrenches always get thrown into his plans. The pandemic forced him to give up his US Title, he lost in the G1 back in the day because of Toru Yano’s bullshit, and he just hasn’t been there as much as he would have liked to be. However, now that he has gold, he doesn’t plan on letting it go. “The Blackpool Combat Club has the World Television Championship, and we’re bringing it to REAL television.” AEW Dynamite (September 13) Darius Martin vs. Jon Moxley (c) - NJPW World Television Championship The younger member of Top Flight is in singles action tonight. He’s coming in as the huge underdog, but a win would propel him to superstardom, and over to Japan. His opponent, though, is Jon Moxley, a man that’s meaner now than he’s ever been. They have a fun match, with Martin’s insane pace seeming to benefit him with the short time limit. He’s very difficult to ground, but Moxley eventually does figure out a way to do so, locking Darius in the Bulldog Choke and forcing him to tap for the successful retention. Jon Moxley def. Darius Martin in 8:20 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship ROH TV (October 5) Yuji Nagata vs. Jon Moxley (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Yuji Nagata is in the United States for a tour, and after finding out, Jon Moxley challenged him to a match for the NJPW World Television Championship over in Ring of Honor. Blue Justice accepted, so now we’re here. We’ve seen this match before, and last time Mox won relatively easily, but Yuji is a legend because of his ability to adapt. He gives Jon a little bit more than he expected, and busts the champion’s chest open with a flurry of chops! Moxley comes alive after that, very angry, and after beating the legend down, hits three Regal Knees and a Paradigm Shift to take the victory. Jon Moxley def. Yuji Nagata in 10:00 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship After the match, Moxley walks up to Nagata aggressively, looking ready to attack. However, somebody runs out to make the save…SHOTA UMINO! Yuji Nagata is one of the men that trained The Roughneck, but Moxley is the one that taught him almost everything he knows! Umino doesn’t get physical, but he does try to defuse the situation, and Moxley backs off. Shota turns around to help Nagata up, and MOXLEY LAYS HIM OUT FROM BEHIND! PICKS HIM UP! DEATH RIDER! HE JUST DESTROYED HIS OWN PROTEGE! AEW Dynamite (October 18) Jon Moxley is interviewed by Lexy Nair, who asks why he attacked Shota Umino on ROH TV. He says that he looks at Shota and just feels disappointed. “Shooter, I trained you to be a vicious, violent son of a bitch, and to your credit, you try. You wrestle aggressively, but you leave yourself exposed, and you lose. I wrestle aggressively, and it wins me belts. You wear my jacket, and you use my finisher, but you are NOT me. You aren’t a wild man, you are a kid trying to be one. If you were really as violent as you’ve been trying to be, if you were really a Roughneck, you wouldn’t have let your heart get the better of you and make you come out to save Yuji Nagata. I know you want this belt back, and I know that I want to show you exactly why you aren’t the wrestler that I thought I had molded you into. At Power Struggle, Shooter, I will prove that no matter what you call yourself, you’ll never be anything more than my Young Lion.” AEW Dynamite (October 25) Shota Umino vs. Jack Cartwheel Jack Cartwheel, seen on Dark a few times, is making his Dynamite debut against Shota Umino. Of course, this is a showcase match for the former NJPW World Television Champion, but Jack shows out as well, impressing the crowd with his almost supernatural agility. Unfortunately for the underdog Cartwheel, he gets caught with a Dropkick off of a springboard move, and Roughneck assumes control. He hits a Death Rider and makes the cover for the one…two…three. Shota Umino def. Jack Cartwheel in 6:46 Shota picks up his jacket and goes to leave, but Jon Moxley comes out and gets in his face. He calls him a Young Boy, says that he doesn’t have what it takes to be champion, and Umino gets frustrated. He throws the jacket in Mox’s face and throws a punch! The two men brawl until officials pull them apart! Power Struggle is going to be one emotionally-charged match! NJPW Power Struggle 2023 Shota Umino vs. Jon Moxley (c) - NJPW World Television Championship Mentor vs. Protege, now bitter rivals. Jon Moxley looking to extend his title reign, Umino looking to reclaim the title that he lost earlier this year. Shota is no longer Shooter, he no longer has the Mox jacket, he is his own man. Not only is he his own man, but he goes to war with Jon Moxley. Moxley seems to be expecting Shota to be as aggressive as he usually is, but Umino has refined his style and instead of getting reversed and leaving himself exposed, is actually countering Moxley’s moves! He hits a Regal Knee on Moxley, busting the man open around the seven minute mark! The blood seems to wake Moxley up, though, and he snaps, managing to do some prolonged damage to the challenger. Time is starting to tick, and with only about two minutes remaining, The Death Rider goes for a, well, Death Rider. Shota spins out of it, kicks Mox in the gut, AND GOES FOR A DEATH RIDER OF HIS OWN! CONNECTS! COVER! ONE…TWO…THR-AND MOXLEY KICKS OUT! HE’S NOT ABOUT TO LOSE TO HIS OWN MOVE! Shota checks the clock and quickly lifts Moxley to his knees. Runs the ropes, charges at him, and HITS HIM WITH A SHOTGUN DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! ON COMMENTARY, KEVIN KELLY CALLS IT “THE STRAIGHT SHOOTER”! HOOKS THE LEG! ONE…TWO…THREE! YOUNG BOY NO MORE, SHOTA UMINO IS A TWO-TIME NJPW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION! Shota Umino def. Jon Moxley in 13: 46 to win the NJPW World Television Championship On the post-show press conference, Shota says that he wants his first defense to be against Ren Narita. NJPW World Tag League 2023: Night Seven Ren Narita vs. Shota Umino Ren Narita’s faction, Strong Style, is busy feuding with TMDK, but he takes a night off from waging war to challenge Shota for the NJPW World Television Championship. The two of them are the future of the company, and they have one hell of a match tonight, with Narita coming within an inch of winning the belt after Umino just BARELY manages to get a rope break. Time is winding down, and this one may very well go to a coin toss! With about twenty seconds left, Narita goes for a takedown, but Shota rolls through, gets behind Ren, and hits a short Straight Shooter! RUNS THE ROPES AND DELIVERS A SECOND, BIGGER ONE FOR GOOD MEASURE! MAKES THE COVER WITH JUST A FEW SECONDS LEFT! ONE…TWO…THREE! HE WON WITH JUST A SECOND LEFT ON THE CLOCK! Shota Umino def. Ren Narita in 14:59 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship After the match, the two men shake hands, after proving that they have impossibly bright futures. Shota leaves the ring, and Narita goes to do so as well, but TMDK comes pouring out to assault Narita, their feud still ongoing! El Desperado and Minoru Suzuki come to his aid, but TMDK still has a numbers advantage…until SHOTA UMINO TURNS BACK AND RUSHES INTO THE RING! He pulls Zack Sabre Jr. away, and the two stare daggers at each other…BEFORE COMING TO BLOWS! THIS IS AN ALL OUT BRAWL, AND TMDK RUNS FROM IT! Minoru Suzuki gets a Strong Style shirt and hands it to Shota. After some deliberation, he PUTS IT ON! STRONG STYLE IS A FOUR MAN UNIT! During the post show press conference, both Umino and Sabre call each other out for a rubber match, and the contest is made official for Wrestle Kingdom 18. NJPW Road To Tokyo Dome: Night One Strong Style (Minoru Suzuki, El Desperado, and Shota Umino) vs. TMDK (Zack Sabre Jr., Kohei Fujita, and Shane Haste) For a throwaway tag, this one has a lot of heat behind it. It’s Shota Umino’s first match as a member of Strong Style, and a chance for him to establish dominance over ZSJ. The match is a fun one, but the most important moment of the match comes when Shota and Sabre are in the ring together. Zack goads him and insults him repeatedly, and frustrates him so much that the champion LEVELS HIM WITH A CLOSED FIST PUNCH! ZSJ smiles a shit-eating grin, pointing at Shota as if to say “You’re just as aggressive as you were during your first reign.” Umino has been keeping his cool lately, but ZSJ just got to him. Strong Style wins the match after Suzuki fucking MURDERS Fujita, but Umino looks shaken in victory. Strong Style def. TMDK in 12:57 NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 18 Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Shota Umino (c) - NJPW World Television Championship This is it. Each man has won one match apiece, each man has taken the Television Title off of the other. Shota has only ever defeated ZSJ via Coin Toss, and he’s looking for a more decisive victory tonight, while the Technical Wizard wants to prove that his spot will not be overtaken by a relative upstart. The contest is an intense one, and, with Shota trying to maintain his composure, a measured chess match. Throughout, ZSJ tries to frustrate Shota, and as the match winds down, after nearly choking him out, he manages to. Shota winds back for a closed fist punch…BUT TRANSITIONS INTO A BRUTAL SLAP, SPINNING SABRE AROUND! WAISTLOCK! GERMAN SUPLEX! ROLLS THROUGH, ZSJ IS ON HIS KNEES AND UMINO RUNS THE ROPES! STRAIGHT SHOOTER! COVER! ONE..TWO…THREE!!! SHOTA UMINO IS NOT MOX’S YOUNG BOY, AND HE IS NOT ZSJ’S PUNCHING BAG! “ROUGHNECK” SHOTA UMINO IS HIS OWN MAN, AND HE IS YOUR NJPW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION! Shota Umino def. Zack Sabre Jr. in 13:23 to retain the NJPW World Television Championship |
2023.04.01 02:34 ChiefDurham Retired CAL FIRE Chief Recap with Commentary - Episode 13 - "You Know Your Dragon"
 | I've been traveling so have gotten behind on the recaps. Looking forward to getting caught up! Still LOVING the show but had to take a pretty strong exception to a particular story line in this episode. I wonder if you can guess which one ;) submitted by ChiefDurham to FireCountry [link] [comments] Fire country episode 13 opens with the Station 42 crew treating a protester for low blood sugar while at a demonstration to stop a developer, Neil Wallace, from cutting trees down, in a forested area, to build houses. Collin handles this, his first medical aid call well. Eve is talking to Jake about what would happen if Bode goes ahead with the kidney transplant, that he’d have to go back to a prison hospital to recuperate and might not be able to come back to Camp afterwards. Just then, a Molotov Cocktail explodes against the side of the construction site’s office trailer, a steel Conex box where Jake, Eve and Collin had just been treating the protester. It’s really good to see the calm demeanor that Eve and Jake use with the extinguishers - no excitement just doing what they’re trained to do. And at Three Rock Camp, a horn is going off as Manny jogs through the work out area, telling his crew to load up. Once his crew is on the bus, he makes an announcement that today is a big day. It’s Bode’s birthday, his 30th, and it’s time for a fire camp tradition, getting “roofed” (never heard of that one 🤷♀️). The crew lifts Bode up, like he’s crowd surfing, and bumps him against the ceiling of the bus several times telling him “Happy Birthday.” As Bode and Manny walk away together, Bode tells Manny he passed the organ donation psych eval! Manny is super happy for Bode and Bode seems proud of himself for what he’s doing. Bode suggests that Manny that Gaby that he’s getting back on his feet, that he’s doing better. But Manny wants to wait until he’s no longer couch surfing. The two mens’ relationship seems to be back on solid ground. At the Leone’s, Sharon’s made French Toast for Vince in honor of Bode’s birthday, supposedly. * I’m not sure why Sharon is wearing a shirt with different patches on it. They don’t say CAL FIRE. I saw Luke, as well as the fire investigator who did the interviews after the bridge incident, wearing the same patch. There is only one CAL FIRE patch no matter which program you’re working in. Weird. When Sharon admits the French Toast might also be a bribe because she needs a favor from Vince, he asks if the favor is for her or “for a morally corrupt developer who wants to cut down trees and put in condos.” Sharon responds that the developer is ready to cut a big fat donation check to Station 42. All he wants is the appearance of an endorsement, a smiling photo with Vince in his dress blues. Vince tells Sharon, “we all know this is a dirty kick back just to get CAL FIRE‘s seal of approval.” Sharon responds, “you do recall that I fought them at a City Council meeting not to do the deal with the development unless Neil was willing to give something back to the department, which he is. Hundreds of thousands of something.” Vince is not sold. Sharon goes on to explain that she is making lemonade out of lemons here. That they are looking at year-round fire season now; that their firefighters are having hard times, like Manny sleeping on their couch. She says this money could really go along ways to helping their people. And she gets a perfect eye roll from Vince as he continues eating his French toast while she holds up his dress uniform telling him how handsome he’ll look in it. Love these two! *BUT (yes, here's the big one) - I do not love this storyline. A lot of the things the show may not get quite right are easier to overlook. But not this one. Giving public support to a developer because he’s giving a fire station money would never, ever happen. It’s illegal and a set-up for corruption. To make this worse, they say the money is going to personally benefit individual firefighters! This is even worse. And it’s completely off-base. Getting specific fire control strategies wrong or having a Battalion Chief (BC) riding on an engine (If you’ve read my previous recaps you know that this is a pet peeve, but a good-natured one. BCs have their own pick-ups; they don’t ride on fire engines.) But this insinuation is insulting to CAL FIRE and to the fire service in general. When new developments go into cities and counties, often times during planning meetings, when it’s time for the fire department to give their plan review, they will propose a new fire station or new equipment because of the impact those additional homes will have on their suppression capabilities. These recommendations become part of the city or county plan review. But never, EVER is money offered or exchanged. Not to the department, not to a fire station and certainly not to individual firefighters. Ok, whew. Jumping down from my soapbox . . . Back at the firehouse Gaby, Jake and Eve are eating breakfast. Eve talks about how maturely Jake and Gaby have been handling their break-up. That she thought she was going to have to choose between them but she’s happy not to have to. They all continue, giving each other a bad time about their dating lives. *This is definitely real fire house behavior! Though the entire crew would be eating meals at the same time, together. Station 42 has at least one other pieces of equipment with at least 3 people assigned per day. There would be a minimum of 6 people at each meal. Holy shit! I almost spit out my wine when I saw Vince driving a pick-up!! And it even has his number on it B1508! (The B is for Battalion) Whoop! Whoop! THAT’S what real Battalion Chiefs drive! I hope this is going to stick! Vince's Battalion Chief Pick-up! Woo Hoo!! :) Vince arrives, in his pick up ;), at the demonstration to meet with Neil Wallace, the developer. He is in what CAL FIRE refers to as an administrative uniform - a long-sleeve blue shirt and a tie with dress pants. CAL FIRE‘s dress uniform, for chief officers like Vince and Sharon, is black dress pants, a white shirt, black tie and a black blazer with gold stripes and gold “years of service” stars on the left cuff. CAL FIRE Class A Dress Uniform As Vince gets out of his pick-up, he gives a thumbs up to the protestors and goes to greet Neil. While the developer may have a point about Edgewater needing more affordable housing, Vince has a much more valuable point when he tells the developer he should not be building new homes in the middle of a high fire danger area. Neil has no response to this so grabs Vince’s hand and gets a smirk, more than a smile, for the camera. It’s a good scene. Billy Burke does such a great job of portraying a crusty BC! And, except for the long hair and the different patch, he could walk up to a firehouse and easily pass for one of us! As the two men finish up, the developers SUV is suddenly on fire. Vince assumes that it’s because Neil left his car running while parked on dry leaves. \The only way I know that a parked car can start a fire is on dry grass where the grass is actually touching the exhaust. Plus the fire gets big fast, like there’s an accelerant involved. And telling a citizen, in this case the developer, you’re not concerned about him or his belongings, only the forest, is not something a BC would likely say; even one as crusty as Vince.* Vince calls in the fire to Edgewater but doesn’t grab an extinguisher or a hand tool. *A 50x50 spot could easily be put out by one person with a hand tool or an extinguisher. Both of which CAL FIRE BC’s carry in their pick-ups. The best way to keep a fire from getting big is to put it out when it’s small. That sounds kind of smart ass ;) but good initial attack is what keeps fires from becoming major incidents. Station 42 responds to the fire. When they arrive, Vince briefs them and takes Jake and a mystery firefighter to search for other protesters near the site where the construction materials are being stored. Eve, Gaby and Collin grab a hose line and start extinguishing the vehicle and surrounding brush. Edgewater dispatches Three Rock Crew 4 to the fire. Shortly after, Sharon arrives at scene and assumes command. Manny arrives and Sharon sends them to help Vince protect the building materials. But not before Bode and Gaby get a chance to say hi and smile at each other. Collin notices. Gaby and Collin knock down the vehicle fire and Sharon tells Eve what a good job they’re doing; that they were well trained. It takes Eve a second to pick up on the fact that Sharon is complementing her abilities as a trainer. Sharon tells Eve that she did well at incident command training and asks if she’d like to shadow her once the fire is knocked down. Eve is excited about the opportunity. Normally requests like that go through your supervisor but they don’t really have time for that kind of dialogue in the show. Eve seems pretty confident with the assignment. Vince, Jake and the mystery firefighter get to the area where the building materials are stored. \Why dry lumber would be stored in an area that’s not cleared is . . . umm . . dumb*. They pass evacuating protesters as well as construction workers hauling their tools out to the main clearing. Vince and Jake convince a handful of more stubborn protesters that the fire is real and they need to leave. Once they see the smoke, they do. But one of the protesters has chained herself to a tree with what they’re calling a “sleeping dragon.” Vince says it’s not his first time taking one apart and he and Jake call for more equipment. Back at the incident base, Collin and Gaby have extinguished the vehicle fire, at least from what we can see so Eve sends them off with the gear Vince needs. The vehicle reignites and Eve starts to grab a hose but Sharon reminds her that she needs to delegate. So she has another fire fighter grab the nozzle and continue to extinguish the vehicle. She looks confused at that idea. Sometimes it can be a hard transition from putting out fires to running one. Often times that’s when people figure out they would really rather stay on the nozzle then wear the white hat. Vince and Jake continue to work at dismantling the sleeping dragon but the protester has used too much glue and they’re having trouble getting it apart. While they’re working, Jake tells Vince that he is a match to donate a kidney to Sharon. He’s worried that Bode would have to go back to prison to recuperate from the surgery and that might be hard on Sharon. He asks Vince to please pick him so that they don’t have to worry about that happening. Just then Bode walks up with his crew, overhearing the last part of their conversation. Rut Ro. Jake tries to explain to Bode what his real motivation was but Vince and Manny tell them both it’s not the time; they have work to do. Vince has Crew 4 start clearing around the construction equipment and materials in case the fire comes that direction. He has Gaby and Collin help Crew 4 cut line. Back at incident base Eve reviews with Sharon why the vehicle reignited. It’s a hybrid and she didn’t see the insignia because it had melted off the car. Hybrids and electric vehicles present a different set of problems for fire fighters. I don’t know a great deal about them; they came along after I’d left the field and, after about 20 years, had gotten my own white hat ;) Jake continues to free the protester from the tree as she explains to him that her family used to own a small construction company, which Wallace purchased. She goes on to say that her family practiced sustainable forestry (although that’s a completely different business than construction) but her comments are sound. We are not going to stop needing lumber but there is a right way to harvest timber and manage forest land that keeps it sustainable and provides healthy forest land with shaded fuel breaks. As Gaby helps the crew clear around the building materials, she takes a chance to talk to Bode, asking him what was going on between him and Jake. Bode won’t talk at first but finally explains that he’s bummed to hear what he thinks Jake’s trying to take away his chance to help his mom and donate his own kidney. Gaby doesn’t seem to understand his frustration. Eve has instructed another crew to raise the still burning vehicle and put cribbing underneath so they can put water directly on the battery and cool it down. Sharon is impressed with her leadership. As Eve asks Sharon if she ever misses being in the thick of it, the developer approaches them. He’s angry, accusing Sharon of letting his building materials burn. She calmly explains that she is not letting anything burn but he tells her that if he loses his building materials they may lose his donation to CAL FIRE. She, again calmly, glances at everyone holding up phones, recording him and he realizes he’s just stepped in it. Vince and Jake continue working to free the protester as she explains more about the type of construction her family did, incorporating defensible space around their structures. *This is where the show has such an opportunity to inform the public. Defensible space is vital when homes are constructed anywhere near wildland urban interface area. As they continue to work, the building materials start to ignite because of falling embers from the approaching fire. The engine crews work alongside the hand crew to break apart the building material piles and, using dirt, they smother and extinguish what they can. Vince needs water so asks for a hoselay from the engine. Now that Eve and her crew have the vehicle extinguished, she starts to send two firefighters with the hoselay. But then she decides to also go herself, telling Sharon, "thank you for the opportunity but not being able to fight fire has got her crawling out of her skin." She’s definitely not done fighting fire! \The hoselay looks legit - their technique does; though some of their terminology is different than I remember. And hoselays normally run along the fires edge. You put the fire out as you go, stopping the spread. It could be that they’re just trying to get water to the landing where the building materials are. But that’s a good way to lose all the hose you’ve just put in, as well as your water supply, because as soon as the fire reaches the hoselay, it will likely burn the hose.* Back at the Incident Command Post (ICP) the developer and a protester start arguing when the protester finds out the developer may likely have caused the fire. *A Chief would not make comments to the public (or a developer) about how a fire started until it was fully investigated. When the developer learns that Tatum, the daughter of the people he bought the construction company from, is in danger, his concern seems genuine. Eve and her crew arrive at the landing with water to extinguish the fires there and Jake is almost through cutting away the sleeping dragon to free Tatum. Eve tells Vince the fire is about 10 minutes away which doesn’t give Jake much time to finish freeing Tatum. Vince orders the hand crew and fire crews to evacuate the area causing Tatum to start yelling at everyone about how she didn’t risk her life just to give up on the trees. Insert eye roll here ;) *The crews are about to be overrun by a crowning timber fire. Fire engine crews and hand crews alone cannot put out timber fires. It’s completely unsafe. Clearing around the building material and equipment and covering them with foam before they leave is about the best they could do. Bode suggests they wrap their fire blankets around the trees to protect them. Jake seems to be the only sensible one, saying that the trees are not the priority. *At first I thought they meant to use their own personal fire shelters; the ones they carry on their web gear in case they are overrun by fire. But I did a little research and found that other countries use large fire blankets in some instances rather than fire extinguishers. And they use bigger blankets on EV fires. It’s a pretty cool concept. Though I’m not sure wrapping a tree on the bottom 6 feet is going to do much to save it when the crowns are burning. Any foresters or arborists out there? The hand crew and fire crews, along with Tatum, make their way back to the ICP. Sharon tells Vince that a strike team has arrived to take over for them. *This is weird. Initial attack crews, all of the crews and equipment originally assigned the first day, put in at least a full 24-hour shift before they’re relieved. Besides, if it’s too hot for Vince and Crew 4 because of a crowning fire, then another engine strike team isn’t going to be safe (or effective) either. If it’s a true crowning timber fire, Operations would try to use a natural or man-made fuel break, well out ahead of the advancing fire; or create their own with bulldozers, airtankers, crews and back fires. When a wildland fire has burned into the crowns of the trees, the heat is so intense that it’s completely unsafe for ground troops. As everyone comes back down the hill, Sharon see’s an opportunity to connect Neil and Tatum so that her concerns can be heard. And so he doesn’t look like such a weasel! ;) Good plan. Eve catches up with Bode to tell him that he might want to hear Jake out about his being a kidney donor. He doesn’t know the whole story. She also tells him “Happy birthday.” Gaby overhears and tells Bode Happy Birthday as well just before Manny tells him to load up. Here again, the Fire Crew would be working through the night and, hopefully, getting off shift the next morning. Back at the fire house Collin and Gaby are in civilian clothes as Gaby looks like she's emptying out the frig. In an odd exchange, Collin warns Gaby to be careful not to do anything with Bode. She tells him nothing’s happening there as Collin seems to chalk up his concern to, “we nuggets have to stick together.” But it seems pretty strange. He doesn’t know her well enough and he doesn’t know the whole story. Eve appears and asks Gaby what she’s doing. She says she’s looking for something that resembles a birthday cake, and she pulls out a chicken! Eve tells Gaby she thinks she might’ve blown it with Sharon when she decided to go fight fire instead of staying with her and shadowing her. I can’t imagine ever having done that. Once you commit to an assignment you stick with it, even if it sucks. Interesting. Gaby points out though that maybe Eve's career dissipation light isn’t blinking. (That’s a well used quote from the movie Backdraft, in case you were wondering ;) ) Gaby continues, saying maybe she just has different career goals. That maybe Incident Command is not where her heart lies. That is a valid point. And the way they’ve written Eve’s character, the fear and uncertainty she keeps showing on incidents wouldn’t give me the confidence to put her in that role. She’s not ready yet. Gaby convinces Eve to come with her to Three Rock with the birthday chicken. This is pretty funny. Not sure why they wouldn’t just stop at a grocery store and grab a pre-made cake though?? *And, like I’ve said before, Firefighters do not ever visit inmates at a camp outside of formal visiting days, even if they are friends. Next we see Vince and Sharon at Three Rock Camp heading to the barracks with an actual birthday cake in hand! They stop as they see Gaby, Eve and Bode on a picnic bench with the birthday chicken. The look on Vince’s face is priceless when he says, “is that a chicken?” Hilarious! Sharon convinces him that they should let Bode celebrate with his friends and take their store-bought cake home with them. I never get tired of the scenes between these two! Diane Farr and Billy Burke rock these roles! Eve, Gaby and Bode are having a good time and laughing as Jake appears. He needs to talk to Bode so they walk off alone. After they leave, Manny walks up to the ladies and Eve takes a walk to let the father and daughter have a chat. This seems to be the first time Gaby and Manny have talked since he confessed his gambling problem. Manny tells her about staying with the Leone's and that he’s trying to dig himself out of the financial hole he’s in. She’s frowning and seems pretty tense. Manny goes on, telling her he knows she’s waiting for him to get his act together but he thinks right now he just needs to feel stable. And if that’s not good enough . . . Gaby interrupts by putting a hand on his arm and telling him she just needs to know he’s getting help; that she can’t be the only one holding him together. They both smile; they seem happy with this new understanding. As Jake and Bode talk, Jake explains that he wasn’t trying to go behind Bode’s back. That he just doesn’t want Bode to go back to prison - that his mom and dad need him there. Jake adds that it’s been good having Bode back in his life. Bode thinks for a minute and then agrees with Jake. He tells Jake that if he really is game to be a donor, it does make better sense; that if his mom is OK with it, Jake should be the donor. Bode realizes he made this choice about himself, but it’s his mom he really cares about and he wants to do what’s best for her. The two young men reconnect in a good way. It’s a nice scene and an uplifting way to end the show. |
2023.04.01 02:24 quote_emperor Nike Dri Fit Running Shorts Purple Blue Lined Woman's Size S NWT Workout Gym
 | submitted by quote_emperor to gym_apparel_for_women [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 00:14 Actually_Viirin Greycore, Chapter 4
Previous Chapter
'Who would want to stand there and stare at their own mangled body?', Jack thought to himself. 'Who would want to grab a dead body and store it in their house as furniture? I mean I guess some people do that but, yeah I'm not insane enough for that.'
He stared for another minute, not entirely processing properly. 'Wasn't the stuff in my pockets still there? Maybe my driver's license could be useful somehow. Let those tiny men know who I am, or something. Make them like me, then start trolling them.' Finally, he got a hold of himself. 'Right.'
He walked the few steps forward needed to touch himself, and upon doing so, a familiar message appeared, but it looked different.
[Select Default Action for Item Type: My Corpse]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Process of elimination time! No storing. I'm just not gonna deal with that. Research?'
[Dungeon research parameters not set.]
[Complete via time or resources?]
'Okay, no. I'm not doing the whole 'get 100 flowers to make a flower' thing. That's what it's asking like one of those stupid fetch quests everyone hates, I know it is. Convert to mana.'
What used to be Jack's corpse started becoming transparent, then once it was totally invisible, the clothes it was wearing collapsed, nothing holding it in position anymore.
'Hey game interface! Why was that named but the other stuff wasn't?'
No reply came.
That was when the rush hit.
-----------------------------
Snyl and Mael stopped running, though both were still panting. "I didn't expect to find something like that", Snyl said. "Maybe a wog or thoat."
Mael nodded. "A rock monster? I don't even know what that thing was. Definitely report it."
"Definitely", the other man agreed.
-----------------------------
The rush felt like the jolt to awake-itude you get when you wake up at night, not actually awake, just to urinate then go back to bed. But then right before you get back into bed, your last footstep is on a Lego. But without the pain.
The rush felt like when you're really not paying attention and can't see very well, so you reach for the eye drops, and discover too late that you grabbed the hot sauce instead. But without the burning.
[Mana Overload. Please spend mana.]
'Ho! That's a spicy meatball!', Jack thought to himself, though that level of rush was not letting him think clearly. 'Spend it on what? Oh! Research!' He reached forward from where he was standing next to where his corpse had lain, and touched the now empty pants that his transparent self still wore.
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Research!'
[Dungeon research parameters not set.]
[Complete via time or resources?]
'Oh right yeah. Time, I guess.'
[Research Room not designated.]
[Select a room for Research options.]
'Get another room with mana. I don't know how. Just do it though.'
[Select direction for the new room.]
'Oh wait, hot damn that worked?' Jack finally, while being outside, looked up to eye level. There were other ruined buildings around, though he didn't see any people or animals or signs that anyone had been nearby for a long time, except for those tiny people earlier. The building across the street did look somewhat interesting, though, and as soon as he made the decision, he could feel the difference.
It felt like when you go lay down due to eating or drinking too much too quickly, then you belch so hard that you don't feel bloated anymore. With all the relief.
To investigate the new area he had just bought, which had to be more interesting than what he had already looked at for longer than he wanted to, he walked over to it, looking down again. Amidst the grasses, he saw something that didn't look like grass. Though, with the dim light, which he didn't see a moon as the source for nor anything else, he couldn't tell what it was. When he touched it...
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Store in stasis. You know what, just call it 'store' from now on', he said to the telepathic texts, if that's what they were. 'You know what? I know what I need when I'm this bored.'
Instead of walking to the other building and through its closed door, Jack walked to his crime scene. Well, what was thought of as one, though not by him. He touched one thing after another, selecting [Store] for each thing he found. His pants, shoes, and tee shirt that said, "If you met my family, you'd understand" on it, and cheap wristwatch all disappeared in the same way other 'stored' items did, each appearing in the abandoned Church.
But, then he went into the Church and tried to rummage through his pockets, finding himself able to reach through them but not into them. Luckily, he was able to get to what he wanted.
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store]
[Research]
'Store', he said. As he did so, the cell phone quickly disappeared from inside his pocket and appeared on the floor against a wall nearby. Luckily, he was able to scroll through some apps to find his playlist, and click 'play'.
His lack of headphones was useful at this point. Inside the other building, it quickly became apparent that it used to be a grocery store of some kind, but they had a few other things on shelves that a grocery store wouldn't have. 'An actual general store?', he thought to himself. 'Kinda says when this is. Shit, that means these people don't have tech. Oh man am I the first tech guy? Nice! I'm definitely the protagonist. I knew I would be! Thanks, truck!'
submitted by Actually_Viirin to HFY [link] [comments]
'Who would want to stand there and stare at their own mangled body?', Jack thought to himself. 'Who would want to grab a dead body and store it in their house as furniture? I mean I guess some people do that but, yeah I'm not insane enough for that.'
He stared for another minute, not entirely processing properly. 'Wasn't the stuff in my pockets still there? Maybe my driver's license could be useful somehow. Let those tiny men know who I am, or something. Make them like me, then start trolling them.' Finally, he got a hold of himself. 'Right.'
He walked the few steps forward needed to touch himself, and upon doing so, a familiar message appeared, but it looked different.
[Select Default Action for Item Type: My Corpse]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Process of elimination time! No storing. I'm just not gonna deal with that. Research?'
[Dungeon research parameters not set.]
[Complete via time or resources?]
'Okay, no. I'm not doing the whole 'get 100 flowers to make a flower' thing. That's what it's asking like one of those stupid fetch quests everyone hates, I know it is. Convert to mana.'
What used to be Jack's corpse started becoming transparent, then once it was totally invisible, the clothes it was wearing collapsed, nothing holding it in position anymore.
'Hey game interface! Why was that named but the other stuff wasn't?'
No reply came.
That was when the rush hit.
-----------------------------
Snyl and Mael stopped running, though both were still panting. "I didn't expect to find something like that", Snyl said. "Maybe a wog or thoat."
Mael nodded. "A rock monster? I don't even know what that thing was. Definitely report it."
"Definitely", the other man agreed.
-----------------------------
The rush felt like the jolt to awake-itude you get when you wake up at night, not actually awake, just to urinate then go back to bed. But then right before you get back into bed, your last footstep is on a Lego. But without the pain.
The rush felt like when you're really not paying attention and can't see very well, so you reach for the eye drops, and discover too late that you grabbed the hot sauce instead. But without the burning.
[Mana Overload. Please spend mana.]
'Ho! That's a spicy meatball!', Jack thought to himself, though that level of rush was not letting him think clearly. 'Spend it on what? Oh! Research!' He reached forward from where he was standing next to where his corpse had lain, and touched the now empty pants that his transparent self still wore.
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Research!'
[Dungeon research parameters not set.]
[Complete via time or resources?]
'Oh right yeah. Time, I guess.'
[Research Room not designated.]
[Select a room for Research options.]
'Get another room with mana. I don't know how. Just do it though.'
[Select direction for the new room.]
'Oh wait, hot damn that worked?' Jack finally, while being outside, looked up to eye level. There were other ruined buildings around, though he didn't see any people or animals or signs that anyone had been nearby for a long time, except for those tiny people earlier. The building across the street did look somewhat interesting, though, and as soon as he made the decision, he could feel the difference.
It felt like when you go lay down due to eating or drinking too much too quickly, then you belch so hard that you don't feel bloated anymore. With all the relief.
To investigate the new area he had just bought, which had to be more interesting than what he had already looked at for longer than he wanted to, he walked over to it, looking down again. Amidst the grasses, he saw something that didn't look like grass. Though, with the dim light, which he didn't see a moon as the source for nor anything else, he couldn't tell what it was. When he touched it...
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store in Stasis]
[Research]
'Store in stasis. You know what, just call it 'store' from now on', he said to the telepathic texts, if that's what they were. 'You know what? I know what I need when I'm this bored.'
Instead of walking to the other building and through its closed door, Jack walked to his crime scene. Well, what was thought of as one, though not by him. He touched one thing after another, selecting [Store] for each thing he found. His pants, shoes, and tee shirt that said, "If you met my family, you'd understand" on it, and cheap wristwatch all disappeared in the same way other 'stored' items did, each appearing in the abandoned Church.
But, then he went into the Church and tried to rummage through his pockets, finding himself able to reach through them but not into them. Luckily, he was able to get to what he wanted.
[Select Default Action for Item Type]
[Convert to Mana]
[Store]
[Research]
'Store', he said. As he did so, the cell phone quickly disappeared from inside his pocket and appeared on the floor against a wall nearby. Luckily, he was able to scroll through some apps to find his playlist, and click 'play'.
His lack of headphones was useful at this point. Inside the other building, it quickly became apparent that it used to be a grocery store of some kind, but they had a few other things on shelves that a grocery store wouldn't have. 'An actual general store?', he thought to himself. 'Kinda says when this is. Shit, that means these people don't have tech. Oh man am I the first tech guy? Nice! I'm definitely the protagonist. I knew I would be! Thanks, truck!'
2023.03.31 23:48 YippieYiYi THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND THE MODEL, Part 6. Final Chapter (I think).
I head back to school, it's just starting to get dark and it's drizzling lightly. I don't mind the drive, Rt. 4 almost the whole way. EBTG just put out a new record, the first one in years, so I stream that. It puts me in a really mellow mood. I walk into our dorm room and Crystal and Ant have just come in from a run. "Hi Crystal, I didn't think you'd still be here, nice to see you" and we hug. "Ant wanted to show me around the campus so we went for a jog, it's really beautiful!" She has running shorts on and a jog bra. She was on the H.S. field hockey team so she's pretty athletic, could probably outrun both of us. "Actually I hung around till you got back, I wanted to see you. Ant said there's a Panera on campus, let's get a quick bite to eat so we can talk". Crystal goes to use the bathroom, Ant slips off his running shorts and starts pulling on his cargos. He's got a jock strap on. I pull out my phone and take a pic. He knows I have a fetish for jocks. I buy used ones on eBay, I especially like the old vintage ones. I was changing in the locker room a couple weeks ago and one of the guys saw one I was wearing and says "Jeez, is that thing an antique?". I just looked at him and told him it's been in my family for generations. I could tell he didn't know if I was kidding. It's going to drive me crazy knowing Ant's wearing one under his shorts while we eat. Crystal comes back in the room and slips off her jog bra and puts on a t-shirt and hoodie. I have to admit, she's got a nice perky pair of tits....
We walk across campus to Panera. Ant and Crystal are holding hands. Crystal asks me if I knew EBTG were putting out a new album. "That's what I listened to on the drive here. It's amazing, it's more Dance oriented than the last, but still sad. Crystal and I both love what Ant refers to as 'slit your wrists' music. We all order "warm bowls", they're warm grain mixed with salad stuff. I get the Mediterranean one, it has a scoop of hummus and yogurt and some feta. The team dietician said they're really healthy. The place is practically empty and we settle into a corner booth, Crystal sits across from me and takes my hands in hers. She smiles and says "I waited for you because I wanted to be the one to tell you I broke up with Ant". "What?". "I'm going out with a girl I met at work, we're actually getting an apartment together. It sucks because there's something in the employee manual saying we can't date other employees, so she's transferring to another store. There's one an hour away so we'll get an apartment in the middle. I really like her and want to commit to the relationship so I need to break it off with Ant. No more FWB. We'll still be friends, though, all four of us. I can't wait for you guys to meet her."
We leave the restaurant and say our goodbye's. Ant is pretty quiet. We get back to our room and I ask if he's ok. "Totally. It was pretty much a mutual decision. We fucked a couple of times but the spark wasn't there. She could tell I was thinking about you. She had a cool idea, though. She said she and her girlfriend could be our beards. I know your parents know about us, and I'm happy they do, but I can't tell my parents, not yet at least, and if anyone at school found out about us you could wave our scholarships bye-bye. If it's okay with you, Crystal and her girlfriend will come up in a few weeks and we'll take them to some parties around campus. It's as simple as that. It'll help them too, they can mention to co-workers their boyfriends go to FSU and parade us around when we go home for a weekend." It does seem like a good idea I have to admit. "Just so you know, it really was a mutual decision to break up. I'm ready to commit to you. You're all I want. So are we going to be exclusive?". "Um, sure, starting today. Just so there are no secrets, I fucked Gary this afternoon." "That's fine, I fucked Crystal this morning, but no more, right?". "Um what about blow jobs? I really like Gary, he's like family." "I like Gary too, okay, but only if I'm there too, and if it's for the purpose of making art". "Deal". "Ant walks over and lifts my t-shirt. "Is that Gary's dried cum on your chest?" "Yup".
Ant goes to shower. I follow and tell him to give me his jockstrap. He takes it off and throws it at me. I hold it to my nose and inhale deeply. It's still wet from his run. He laughs and tells me I'm crazy. Sometimes I think I am. I go to my computer and pull it over my head so I can smell him while I game. Sometimes I go through his laundry bag. I love the smell of his dirty socks and t-shirts. Once in a while I put them on so I can smell him on me. I think that's one reason our sex is so rough, I'm trying to merge with his body and become one. I want to find a way to get under his skin and melt into him. Then maybe I'd feel whole.
Ant finishes showering and pulls his jock off my head and throws it in his laundry bag. "C'mon, shower and come to bed". Our dorm has twin beds on each side of the room with a bookcase down the middle with a desk attached to the bookcase on each side. It originally had narrow single beds, but the school lets you buy your own twin if you want and they put the single beds in storage. There was no way Ant and I would both fit in a single so we bought twins. I shower and slip into bed next to him. He turns towards me and kisses me. We kiss gently for a while and hug and eventually grab each others dicks and jerk off. It's probably the most tender we've ever been, there was no aggression. I grab a cum rag and wipe up the puddle, rub a little into my chest and get back in bed. Ant is facing the wall, he hates sleeping on the wet spot. I don't mind and get in next to him with my arm and leg over him and my dick pressing against his hairy crack. I don't think I've ever had such a good nights sleep.
submitted by YippieYiYi to GayShortStories [link] [comments]
We walk across campus to Panera. Ant and Crystal are holding hands. Crystal asks me if I knew EBTG were putting out a new album. "That's what I listened to on the drive here. It's amazing, it's more Dance oriented than the last, but still sad. Crystal and I both love what Ant refers to as 'slit your wrists' music. We all order "warm bowls", they're warm grain mixed with salad stuff. I get the Mediterranean one, it has a scoop of hummus and yogurt and some feta. The team dietician said they're really healthy. The place is practically empty and we settle into a corner booth, Crystal sits across from me and takes my hands in hers. She smiles and says "I waited for you because I wanted to be the one to tell you I broke up with Ant". "What?". "I'm going out with a girl I met at work, we're actually getting an apartment together. It sucks because there's something in the employee manual saying we can't date other employees, so she's transferring to another store. There's one an hour away so we'll get an apartment in the middle. I really like her and want to commit to the relationship so I need to break it off with Ant. No more FWB. We'll still be friends, though, all four of us. I can't wait for you guys to meet her."
We leave the restaurant and say our goodbye's. Ant is pretty quiet. We get back to our room and I ask if he's ok. "Totally. It was pretty much a mutual decision. We fucked a couple of times but the spark wasn't there. She could tell I was thinking about you. She had a cool idea, though. She said she and her girlfriend could be our beards. I know your parents know about us, and I'm happy they do, but I can't tell my parents, not yet at least, and if anyone at school found out about us you could wave our scholarships bye-bye. If it's okay with you, Crystal and her girlfriend will come up in a few weeks and we'll take them to some parties around campus. It's as simple as that. It'll help them too, they can mention to co-workers their boyfriends go to FSU and parade us around when we go home for a weekend." It does seem like a good idea I have to admit. "Just so you know, it really was a mutual decision to break up. I'm ready to commit to you. You're all I want. So are we going to be exclusive?". "Um, sure, starting today. Just so there are no secrets, I fucked Gary this afternoon." "That's fine, I fucked Crystal this morning, but no more, right?". "Um what about blow jobs? I really like Gary, he's like family." "I like Gary too, okay, but only if I'm there too, and if it's for the purpose of making art". "Deal". "Ant walks over and lifts my t-shirt. "Is that Gary's dried cum on your chest?" "Yup".
Ant goes to shower. I follow and tell him to give me his jockstrap. He takes it off and throws it at me. I hold it to my nose and inhale deeply. It's still wet from his run. He laughs and tells me I'm crazy. Sometimes I think I am. I go to my computer and pull it over my head so I can smell him while I game. Sometimes I go through his laundry bag. I love the smell of his dirty socks and t-shirts. Once in a while I put them on so I can smell him on me. I think that's one reason our sex is so rough, I'm trying to merge with his body and become one. I want to find a way to get under his skin and melt into him. Then maybe I'd feel whole.
Ant finishes showering and pulls his jock off my head and throws it in his laundry bag. "C'mon, shower and come to bed". Our dorm has twin beds on each side of the room with a bookcase down the middle with a desk attached to the bookcase on each side. It originally had narrow single beds, but the school lets you buy your own twin if you want and they put the single beds in storage. There was no way Ant and I would both fit in a single so we bought twins. I shower and slip into bed next to him. He turns towards me and kisses me. We kiss gently for a while and hug and eventually grab each others dicks and jerk off. It's probably the most tender we've ever been, there was no aggression. I grab a cum rag and wipe up the puddle, rub a little into my chest and get back in bed. Ant is facing the wall, he hates sleeping on the wet spot. I don't mind and get in next to him with my arm and leg over him and my dick pressing against his hairy crack. I don't think I've ever had such a good nights sleep.