Sunrise tomorrow what time

Side by side results. Results for January and June. CBC results Hello. My husband is 35 years old, has a history of high blood pressure that is well controlled. Doesn't smoke or drink and is is 5'5" and around 160lbs.
In January my husband got a blood test as part of his yearly physical. His doctor contacted him and expressed concern over some results, like high wbc, high immature granulocytes, etc. She was hoping he just had something viral going on and decided to test again a few months later.
He went and got tested today and just received his results. His wbc his still slightly high, his immature granulocytes increased, rbc lowered a bit. Abs lymphs and abs monos went back to normal range. We are mostly concerned about the increasing immature granulocytes and wbc staying a bit high.
What can cause these issues without it being something like leukemia? He hasn't been feeling sick. He has been dealing with a lot of stress because of finances and gets poor sleep a lot of the time. I'm unsure if these things can these issues.
Thank you.

I’m into latinas and want to have someone to spend time with and chill and then see what happens after time

Let me start by saying I hate LoL, RL, DBD, GTA, Phasmo, DRG, CoD, Fall Guys, sports games, survival/horror and shooters, Acti/Blizz/microtrans, and 99% of the most popular games that you see here all the time. (But there's an exception to every rule, i.e. there's a couple survival/shooter games I enjoy and would possibly be down to play casually, occasionally).
I'm LF someone/something different from 99%-100% of the other post(er)s here. In just about every way. (Gaming tastes, ideologically, personality-wise, etc). I'm not holding my breath for this to go anywhere, as I've tried a thousand times in the past to no avail. But what the hell.. Got nothing better to do than keep trying...
I guess you could say I'm a semi hipster. I don't like super populaoverrated games and I don't like really obscure/underground games. Most of the modern games I enjoy are indie 'cause AAA is monetized, corporatized shit now. SNES/PS2/GC/GBA are still the GOAT consoles. A lot (not all) of the games I enjoy the most are 1P. But it's lonely as fuck and I'm getting really burnt out on playing games alone.
I want to find a daily gaming friend who's down to play a ton of different games, both old & new. Someone who's just as down to chill & chat & take turns on 1P games (via Parsec or Remote Play) as he is to play MP games (whether it's enjoying a good story-rich game together, introducing each other to our favorites, seeing who can get further on some tough Roguelike runs, etc). My favorite genres are RPGs (esp. retro JRPGs & Soulslikes) and Roguelikes. Anything with swords, axes, magic, class/build freedom, etc is usually a win with me.
My 3x3 (favorites) and most played Steam games are pinned to the top of my profile. Take a look to see if we have similar taste in games. But it's far from a comprehensive list. Just to give a very rough idea of my tastes. Also, the majority of the games I've been playing lately have been, err.. "acquired" elsewhere than Steam... (*ahem* ARRR! 🦜 *cough*) So please be down with that lifestyle.
Some of my personal criteria/nuances/preferences:
Prefer someone in NA, mostly for latency purposes.
I strongly prefer someone who's a total loner like me, and someone who has very similar taste in games ofc. Call me clingy or whatever, but many of my other attempts have resulted in me eventually just getting ditched because the person already has other friends who occupy a lot of his time and pull him to play other games that I don't play. I might be willing to compromise on a very small, tight-knit, non-cliquey group of 3-4 people.. But meh... Adding more people thins the pool of possible games we can play and I don't want anyone to feel like a third wheel.
I'm currently an unemployed bum trying to get my shit together, so I'm available all day everyday atm. I'm LF someone who's available to game more days than not, for at least a couple hours.
I don't care for people who are super quiet, awkward, shy, reserved, etc. I want to find someone who's talkative, personable, a good conversationalist, etc. No dry personalities. No people who only give short, curt responses like "yep" and "idk". No self-absorbed narcissists who make everything about themselves. And if you're the type who refuses to ever reach out first and meet me halfway, I'll ghost.
A sense of humor is a must, as I love to laugh and make people laugh. Moreover, a pretty dark sense of humor. If you consider yourself a typical redditor (self-righteous, easily offended, incapable of tolerating other people's controversial views, etc) then you might want to save your time and move along.
tl;dr - There isn't a summary. Sorry. If my ideal gamer pal matchup exists (spoiler alert: he doesn't, fml) he'll be down to read for a couple minutes, to ensure compatibility.
Send me an actually effortful DM with some info about you, your discord, etc if interested (I won't respond to low-effort messages).

I can’t stand when you put in a destination or you take yourself off of certain things and Uber says outside of your preferences I know what my preferences are. I know that I can change my preferences I wanted you to offer me stuff outside of my preferences I will change my preferences when I’m in destination mode. I only want you to offer stuff that’s going in the way I want to go and when I’m in destination out I want you to go the way I wanna go that way you think I should go which is usually totally the wrong way I wanna times your idea of the way I want to go or my destination just picks up people that need to be picked up anyway that aren’t really going and my destination may be a little bit of my destination but like 95% it’s more because you just need them to get a ride

I'm bbw, husband is average dad bod, both white. Recently started swinging and wasn't the experience we were hoping for. Wanna try again with a solo male. Please read the list if it applies to you message us. If you don't meet the list don't waste your time you'll be instantly blocked. Looking for tonight, or tomorrow. If you just wanna talk to build courage don't reply. Close to downtown Houston so be able to make the trip on short notice.
-18 to 24, you must have a tx drivers license to verify age -Groomed, no beards -have your own transportation to and from -ddf -bicirious/virgin to front of the line -white guys only

If the title isn’t clear what I mean, I want the time that passes each turn to be reduced. My games are always way behind in technology relative where it happened in real life and that irks me a lot. Like it’ll be 1900 and we are living in the 17/1800s still technologically.
I’d love to have a mod if there is one that reduces how much time passes each turn.
I don’t want to change the time it takes to build or discover technologies.
Thanks for any help if there is one.

Hi all, I’m a super amateur cyclist! I’m starting to get more into cycling and am wondering if anyone has advise on what type of bike would fit me/my lifestyle best?
I’ve been cycling into work 3x times a week (~12km ride one way) trying to increase my fitness. I want to start cycling around more on weekends etc as I live in a nice area in Quebec that has plenty of bike paths - and lots of cycling groups should I ever get to a good enough fitness level to not fall behind.
I currently own 2 older bikes but feel like neither quite fit my needs?

• a hand-me-down Kona mountain bike —> I’m Mainly using this to ride to work now but it’s really heavy on its own let alone the extra weight of my pannier, so I’m even slower than normal and feel dead tired at the end of the day
  
• an entry-level Giant road bike —> Love that it’s light but I can’t add a bike rack / panniers for going into work —> 23mm tires make me anxious on some gravelly parts of my route
  

Looking for a bike that can:

• ride on road / some gravel
• Go on “longer” distances (probably won’t be getting to century rides in a long time lol)
• Not super heavy
• Can attach a bike rack / pannier

Should I look into getting a gravel bike? Touring bike? CX bike? Or should I just suck it up and keep riding the mountain bike?
Thanks in advance and sorry if this is a dumb question!

UFC 289 Live: UFC 289 Live [email protected], Amanda Nunes vs. Irene Aldana Live Streaming on Crackstreams, Buffstreams, (PPV)(MMA) Fight Card and Main Card Fight Time. UFC 289 the Ultimate Fighting 2023 Live Streams Reddit free Championship that will take place on June 10, Saturday, 2023, at the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Watch UFC 289 Live Streaming.
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🅻🅸🆅🅴🔴▶️ UFC 289 LIVE [email protected]
🅻🅸🆅🅴🔴▶️ UFC 289 LIVE [email protected]
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Irene Aldana looks to become the latest Mexican-born fighter to shock the world and win gold at UFC 289 on June 10. To do so, she must get past the Brazilian double champion Amanda Nunes. Can “Robles” get the job done after being given the opportunity of a lifetime?
UFC 289 is inside Vancouver, British Columbia's Rogers Arena. The first UFC event in Canada since 2019, the event airs on ESPN+ PPV in the U.S.
The UFC has seen Brandon Moreno, Yair Rodriguez, and Alexa Grasso claim gold for their country. Grasso beat Nunes' rival and MMA great Valentina Shevchenko to win the UFC flyweight title at UFC 285. Shevchenko was the -1010 favorite, while Alexa Grasso was the +590 underdog.
Per Bet MGM, Nunes is the -350 favorite, while Aldana is the +275 underdog. Diego Lopes, Aldana's coach who cornered Grasso, believes Aldana can defy the odds.
“Amanda is a tough fight for anyone in the division,” Lopes stated via MMA Fighting’s Trocaçao Franca podcast. “We know she’s the best in the division, but I think our team is used to fighting that, like Alexa did with Valentina. Everybody saw Valentina as unbeatable, and we went there and did our job to win the fight… I think we can surprise Amanda like that. To go in there and show something Amanda hasn’t faced yet, which is the level of boxing Irene has, to surprise her and bring the second [UFC] belt to the team and the fourth to Mexico.”
Nunes beat Shevchenko twice. She was ready to face Julianna Pena, the one woman to end her reign at bantamweight, before Pena had to back out due to broken ribs. Before Pena, Nunes was undefeated in that division for six years. She is ready to start a new streak in Canada.
Here’s all you need to know about UFC 289, from time, channel, and card.
What time is UFC 289: Amanda Nunes vs. Irene Aldana? Date: Saturday, June 10 FIGHT PASS Prelims: 6 p.m. ET 3 p.m. PT Prelims: 8 p.m. ET 5 p.m. PT Main card: 10 p.m. ET 7 p.m. PT Main event: 12:15 a.m. ET 9:15 p.m. PT (approx.)
USA/Canada: UFC 289 takes place on June 10. The early prelims start at 6 p.m. ET, followed by the prelims at 8 p.m. ET. The UFC 289 main card will begin at 10 p.m. ET. Nunes and Aldana should make their way to the octagon around 12:15 a.m. ET, depending on how long the undercard fights last.
UK: The early prelims for UFC 289 start at 11 p.m. BST, with the main card starting at 3 a.m. BST. Nunes vs. Aldana should begin about 5:15 a.m. BST.
Australia: The early prelims begin at 8 a.m. AEST on Sunday, June 11. The main card gets underway at 12 p.m. AEST, and the main event will begin about 2:15 p.m. AEST.
How to watch UFC 289: Amanda Nunes vs. Irene Aldana Country Date Channel + Live Stream (main card) United States Sat. June 10 ESPN+, ESPN PPV Canada Sat. June 10 BELL, Rogers, Shaw, SaskTel, Videotron, Telus, Eastlink, UFC PPV on UFC Fight Pass United Kingdom Sun. June 11 BT Sport Australia Sun. June 11 Main Event, Kayo Sports, Fetch TV, UFC PPV on UFC Fight Pass
The main card for UFC 289 is available in the U.S. and Mexico on the ESPN+ subscription streaming service for a pay-per-view cost. Earlier fights are viewable live on ESPN+.
In Canada, the main card pay-per-view is available on BELL, Rogers, Shaw, SaskTel, Videotron, Telus, Eastlink, and UFC PPV on UFC Fight Pass
In the United Kingdom, the main card will be available on BT Sport, with the prelims available on UFC Fight Pass.
In Australia, the main card will be on Main Event, Kayo Sports, Fetch TV, and UFC PPV on UFC Fight Pass.
Amanda Nunes vs. Irene Aldana PPV price: How much does UFC 289 cost? $79.99 (current ESPN+ subscribers) $124.98 (new subscribers)
In the U.S., the UFC 289 main card is available via pay-per-view on ESPN+, which also requires a subscription. The PPV price for UFC 289 is $79.99 for current subscribers. New subscribers can pay a bundle price of $124.98 for the UFC 289 pay-per-view and an ESPN+ annual subscription, which offers savings of more than 30 percent.
UFC 289 fight card
Main card
Amanda Nunes (c) vs. Irene Aldana for the UFC bantamweight title Charles Oliveira vs. Beneil Dariush; Lightweights Mike Malott vs. Adam Fugitt; Welterweights Dan Ige vs. Nate Landwehr; Featherweights Marc-Andre Barriault vs. Eryk Anders; Middleweights
Prelims
Nassourdine Imavov vs. Chris Curtis; Middleweights Miranda Maverick vs. Jasmine Jasudavicius; Flyweights Aiemann Zahabi vs. Aoriqileng; Bantamweights Kyle Nelson vs. Blake Bilder; Featherweights

What is the most challenging or difficult financial situation you have faced and how did you handle it?

I'm an SHO (I know I shouldn't use this term) and I work with a nurse practitioner who's been wearing a lanyard that says "core training doctor" for a few weeks now. I've spoken to him a couple of times, joking that the lanyard is for core training doctors only and that he shouldn't be wearing it if he's not one, but he's continued to wear it despite my explanations. I'm feeling like I'm the problem, me.
I've raised this to the registrars working with us, & the NP joked about not wanting a "foundation" lanyard and defended his use of it by explaining “there are no other lanyards around” and that he explains his role clearly to each patient. It's like he's trying to brie difficult about this!
I'm now feeling blue about what to do. On the one hand, I feel like I should ask one of the consultants to chat with him because wearing the wrong lanyard could lead to confusion and potentially even harm patients. On the other hand, I don't want to get him into trouble and cause tension in our working relationship. He's a goud nurse practitioner!
So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to report him? Should I just let it go and hope that nothing bad happens, or should I bring it up with my supervisor (A new cons). I don't want to cause any accidents, but patient safety should always come first. Any advice is appreciated. This is my main Reddit account. Don’t dox me. Xoxo

Everyone in my family lies to me, to the point where I'm beginning to question reality and sort of having an identity crisis, i genuinely think I'm going insane. For example a few days ago, i organised my room a 2 days ago and i had a sleepover at a friends house yesterday, i came home today and my closet was messy and i could clearly see that someone had been using my makeup, i asked my mom why everything was messy and she told me i forgot to clean it and since they heard my mom say that , my grandma , my dad and my aunt says that i must have forgot, i said i didn't and that i did clean it and my mom yelled at me for 2 fucking hours going on about how i don't do any work around the house and that i was the one who was lying so i could blame it on my mom. I genuinely can't remember now if i cleaned it or not, it's making me go crazy. I felt sure at first and i distinctly remember putting one of my jacket on the rack but it wasn't so i must be misremembering? Another time, i charged my ipad and went out, when i came home it had 20 something battery. I asked my mom and she said i must not have charged it. I feel like they're all lying to me and I'm feeling like I'm maybe lying but i don't understand how i can lie without intent TO LIE. I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy and just questioning reality at this point because idk how to cope with it otherwise. I know they use my stuff but they say they don't and then i feel like maybe i dont and im actually trying to blame them. My mom is complete narcissist and nothing is ever her fault and she does not know the meaning of sorry or apologies. She does not accept any other way of doing stuff other than her own, but gets offended when people want to do things their own way. She constantly rants and criticises me at every decision i make and then has the fucking audacity to cry and tell me SHE FEELS LIKE SHIT. She calls me ugly and has completely destroyed my self esteem to the point where i catch myself doing everything for validation. And the all this lying is making me crazy i genuinely don't know what to believe anymore i don't know if I'm lying to myself or my family is lying to me but i feel like i need help but no one i trust enough to help me and I'm sorry for this rant but I'm literally going insane to the point where i have started thinking about hitting and even planning her death.

My dad's back in the hospital. His health has been really bad for a long time but things are getting even worse.
I've been the one talking with doctors handling his affairs and everything. My mom won't help me she's got too much anxiety and can't handle it.
I don't even barely consider myself an adult. I'm 24 lol. I'm trying to figure out my insurance claim for an accident that someone else caused that totaled my car. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Especially with the stuff with my dad I'm just winging it. I have no idea what to do. Yet here I am.
How the hell does that happen overnight lol. I mean I was moved out of the house and handling my own stuff but now I'm de facto patriarch of my family and it's really stressing me out lol
I'm trying really hard to juggle all of these things and make sure everything's taken care of but boy is it tough. Now I know what it must have been like for my dad a little bit.

I’m 18F my ex is 20M we broke up more than one and a half years ago and I still miss him. I miss him a lot, I make up scenarios in my head that we’re together and we’re in the same uni and we somehow fall back in love again. But in reality he’s going to a total different uni than me and has a girlfriend.Truth to be told I think I still like him and I just hate myself for this. I also dream of him occasionally.
We didn’t even date for a month and I can’t believe I still think of him it’s just makes me angry and I hate myself for this. I also hate him for the way I was treated by him. He said he won’t leave and in the end he did. He never spent time with me at all. I hated how he described me to others yet I think of him.
At one point he came back and he kept messaging me but I just left him on read and didn’t reply because I was mad for what he had done to me and I regret not replying to him. I cried when I saw his texts I missed him so much but then i didn’t reply.
So anyways earlier today I was about to have a breakdown and my first instinct was to look at the account where I posted things about him and look at his pics and after a few minutes I was ok and everything was normal. I hate how he has a chokehold over me. I’m not sure but I feel like I still have some feelings for him. I just hate myself for still liking him
TDLR: ex treated me like shit and we broke up more than one and a half year ago and I think i still have feelings for him.

i became an innovators plus subscriber about 2 weeks ago.
Started a learning path on qwiklabs . I redeemed my 500$ credit for google cloud to my billing account , which is what the instructions said to do. The $500 show up on my account no problem.
I now need to take a lab on qwiklabs. When I press `Start Lab` , i am prompted to enter a token or buy credits. WHen I have tried to buy credits, I am prompted to Buy a subscription or buy individual credits - following either path makes me have to pay with a credit card. At no point can i take the lab without paying more.
✅ I have confirmed I am signed into my innovators plus account
✅ have tried it in incognito window
✅ have tried in **non incognito** window
✅ have tried this in chrome and firefox browsers
✅ have contacted help desk through email and chat several times , so they are aware of this, but I have not received a response yet.
Am I doing something wrong? is there a universal token I have not been made privy to? Is my best bet to just keep trying help desk or is there something I might be missing?
Thanks so much for any help you can provide

Do you ever feel lost in some wander land or feel like you have butterflies in stomach, feel like your not feeling present in the moment. Like your mind just drifts elsewhere ?
I’ve noticed in myself that for the past 2 years, I’m just not putting my 100% effort, interest, time and energy into anything I’m doing. I just don’t feel that level of importance and mental focus. I’m feeling this way because I’m so worried and anxious about outcome that I just have no idea what will happen next. It kinda makes me lose hope and feeling helpless. It certainly has affected my confidence and inner belief in myself. This is all because I’m in college and haven’t figured out what career path to choose. I’m doing pre reqs for radiography program as I wanted to become Ct/Mri tech. But not knowing the outcome of acceptance rate is giving making my mind worried like what am I doing with life? Will I get accepted in this program? What if I don’t then what will happen? I’m still not there where I’m supposed to be for my age. Meanwhile people have graduated and now working great jobs and pay. I’m still behind and now feeling stuck. Feeling clueless with life. I want to look into tech field becuase it’s growing in demand field yet idk how to research, what my options are and what skills could I learn on my own from online resources to get opportunities for jobs.
Not having figured out what I want to do with life is indeed giving me anxiety and affecting on how I view life. Life is not easy. But it’s easy to those who have figured out who they are and what they want out of life.

This has been on and off argument since the start of our 9m long relationship. (4m committed)
I never like the idea her clubbing, but as long as i can reach her and know where she is, who she’s with and is safe. I’m okay. I saw her got irresponsibly drunk 2 times early in our dating, so i’m a bit worried.
A month ago we went on a vacation at an island where there’s a famous local cannabis strain. So i asked hey i want to try them, she says ok but after i smoked. She got really MAD and i spent the entire day try to make up with her and eventually i did, with accepting her ultimatum about not ever smoking again.
So of course i did, relationship are more important than any substances for me. But here’s the other part, i also side hustle by selling cannabis, 100% legal where i live and it’s a legit business. She’s also against it and gave me ultimatum that after i sold out this inventory. I must close my business.
Meanwhile, when all of this happen, only thing i ask from her is stop clubbing, but i never gave her any ultimatum. My group of best friends don’t like go out drinking but we prefer to smoke and chill. I gave that up for her so at least i’d like her to stay with me and do some activities together.
She never had any reasoning behind those ultimatums except “she doesn’t like it”. While i argue with facts and informations about dangers of alcohol and why it concerns me.
I don’t really know what to do anymore, i don’t even want to go back smoking weed either because it actually feels nice after quitting. But it’s the fact that she gave me ultimatums one after another while refuse to even work with my boundaries with legit reasoning about her clubbing.
I really love her but am i disrespecting myself way too much for allowing her to do this to me? Is there anything i can do besides throw the ultimatum back?
Thanks for any advice!
Tl;dr gf gave ultimatum on weed use and business but will go clubbing regardless of my concerns.

i dated my highschool sweetheart for a year and some months, we were very much in love, but i broke up with him after a year in varsity.He asked me not to, he said i was feeling out of love because of the long distance and i did not believe him. I decided to not date anyone and he still had hope, i had a little for later in life. I then got a rebound and lost my virginity as a mistake, it was never planned. After that my rebound wanted a relationship, get married and all, but i was hung up on my ex, so i rejected my rebound and told my ex what had happened because i realised i still loved him a lot, and wanted to be with him forever. He was distant for some time, but now we talk from time to time, as friends. Do you think he would ever think about getting back together with me?

I started counting calories intake recently and set my goal to 1200. Before I never paid attention and eat whatever I wanted, or whenever I wanted, many late night food and snacks etc. ever since I reduced my food intake I started to have heart burns often. Is it because my stomach is used to have food at this time? What can I do to reduce the effect and transition my diet to a more regular schedule? Thank you

I'm attempting to make some sort of missile defense system for my base, and for some reason, any time a missile goes within the radar's range, it does absolutely nothing. It is currently hooked up to an EMP Tower from ICBM. From what I've read, when a missile enters the radars trigger range, it should send out a redstone signal. I've also seen that it sends it in the direction of the missile, but that that setting can be changed to send it in all directions with a wrench. Many other mods have a wrench item, and I can't seem to find one from ICBM, so if it's purely just the redstone signal coming out of the wrong side, how do I make it not?

tldr: rough 6 month relationship where we both hurt each other a lot broke me down. have had really bad doubts and wanted to break up 3 times now. bf has shown progress and commitment to making things work and changing from his ways but i’m stuck in a negative mindset and don’t want to fall back into a cycle where i try to break up w him again. should i put aside the past and try to work with him or accept that maybe we just aren’t good for each other?
my boyfriend (26) and i (23) have had a really really rocky relationship (6 months). we both possess a level of care for each other that i’ve never experienced before and he’s made me the most comfortable i have ever felt in any relationship before. for the first 4 months he was really going through it, was reactive, angry, insensitive, manipulative, and so forth. i stayed and was patient and was there for him but as you would expect it came to a point where i broke. sure he was able to improve some things like getting angry and assuming things as well as decreased his reactivity a bit, but the conflicts and misunderstandings were still happening and it broke me more and more each time. i got to a point where i couldn’t give anymore. we had done so much damage to each other through our mistakes and i just felt constantly unhappy.
i mentally checked out around 2 months ago, he noticed and starting trying a lot harder. he improved his communication, he started listening to me more, was more supportive and more enthusiastic to work through things. however, i was at a point where i couldn’t be fully present anymore so the efforts were one sided on his end (the dynamic flipped essentially / roles reversed). we would still argue and misunderstand each other and at one conflict i just broke and couldnt take it any more. i tried to break up with him and we ended up taking a week break where the time alone made me realize that if things didn’t change i would need to leave him for my own well being.
i tried to finalize the breakup but he begged me almost to stay saying that we can try taking it slower and working through problems 1 by 1 instead of suffocating each other. the relationship moved super fast honestly with him asking me to move in like 3 months in, and making plans to go to his home country to meet his family. so he brought up that we should try to spend more time apart, focus on ourselves, and take things a lot slower and focus on having fun instead of being with each other 24/7 and arguing.
this was about 3 weeks ago. for two weeks we tried spending more time apart and honestly it really did make me feel a lot more love towards him and more connected. but i still had the doubts in my head and we still had our arguments and last week we argued pretty bad and i snapped and tried to break up with him again. we took a break from talking each other again as he said we should take a break and heal and then come back to each other and yesterday gave each other our stuff back. i finalized the breakup yesterday during that exchange. we talked for like 5 hours and he tried to convince me we could make things work
the place where i’m conflicted is that our relationship has honestly brought me more pain than joy, but i have also seen progress on his end. he really changed from the person he used to be at the start and of course that gives me hope and i see the level of commitment he has towards me. and based on what he was saying yesterday, he wants to continue to fight and will make whatever changes are necessary to make us work. i really do believe he loves me and is willing to work on things. but i guess i’m just at a point where i lost myself. in a perfect world i would of course have wanted to work things out with him especially because he has made me feel so comfortable being with him and i can really tell he cares about me. that’s a type of love that i am scared to lose. but i feel like i’m just in this mindset where i’m scared to be fully vulnerable with him and give myself to the relationship again because i still see him doing things like guilt tripping, etc which have gotten better but of course they are still there. there’s something way off about the dynamic. i don’t want to go back into this with those doubts and end up breaking up with him again because that is really damaging for him too. i’ve honestly been very unhappy in the relationship and of course we have our good moments but i’ve just felt restricted, insecure, like i’m walking on eggshells, etc.
i don’t want to make the mistake of losing someone that wants to fight for this so hard. but so much damage has been done to each other especially after this series of break ups with him constantly convincing me to stay combined with my mindset and i don’t know if these things are reasonable to try to fix and fight for. i really think this relationship has made me a worse version of myself and has triggered some of my insecurites to come out which i worked on healing. i’ve become more hostile, on edge, anxious etc.
but when someone is fighting for you and a relationship so hard, it’s hard to leave that i guess. it has been unhealthy for sure but i guess i’m just trying to get an opinion on whether his dedication to change and make things good is worth fighting for. he can admit his mistakes and i’ve seen progress but at the same time i’ve been really broken down over the course of the 6 months due to his actions and this relationship. i don’t know if it’s reasonable to risk my mental health for something that made my mental health bad in the first place. i don’t want to lose him because i really do think he cares about me and wants this and i trust he would never do anything to hurt me (cheat and all that and stuff). i don’t know if it’s my own mindset and self sabotage that is making me want to run away and give up but i guess i am really tempted to stay with him because i can see the happiness that i could potentially have. but yeah essentially it’s been rough but he is really willing to work. however i’m at a point where i’m not sure if i could work even if i wanted to. also i feel more peace alone than i do with him. and ALSO he might be manipulating me into thinking we can fix things as he was guilt tripping me and being pretty manipulative during our talk yesterday which is another factor on top of everything. i know this stuff sounds pretty bad and i’m well aware of how unhealthy it is especially for only being a 6 month relationship. i know relationships are hard but probably shouldn’t be this hard and maybe it’s just the case of we aren’t compatible.
but yeah if he’s willing to fight and work to make things better, and i have seen SOME progress, do you think i should push aside my negative mindset and try?