He’s only 23 (turning 24 in a couple months) and he is obese.
It started in high school when he joined the football team. He’s 6’2 so of course the couch was all over him. The couch encouraged him to bulk up which led to him eating tons and tons of food. It was okay I’m high school because he was active obviously and he looked like an average offensive line player: broad shoulders, big arms and legs, a bit of a gut. It was fine
But after high school it all went to hell.
He stopped working out completely but eats like he’s still a football player (probably even more now actually) He eats thousands of dollars worth of fast food a month, and that’s not an exaggeration. If he’s not eating fast food he’s eating entire large oven pizzas in one sitting or an entire pot of ramen noodles.
Every time he walks he sounds like he’s out of breath even if it’s just from his room to the kitchen. He still wear clothes from high school so the bottom of his gut hangs out the bottom of his shirts and his pants only covers half of his ass. He had a knee injury in high school and his weight is making it worse. We’re don’t have a lot of money and out house is small so he easily can take up the entire kitchen when he sits at the table and takes up two seats on the couch.
I get he’s an adult and can make his own decisions but I just wish my mom would do more. Don’t get me wrong, she’s tried. She used to always cook him healthy meals (he would complain and go get fast food), she would encourage him to go work out with her (he would complain and go to bed even though he’s already been sleeping for hours). She’s encouraged him to go to therapy (he went to a couple sessions and stopped going). I don’t know what else she can do but I wish she could figure something out or kick him out.
He’s angry. He’s lazy. He makes stupid decisions.
Bottom line is that he’s severely mentally ill but refuses to get help for it. Instead he’s just eating himself to death and at this point I’d rather him just do it somewhere else.
I’m tired of watching him refuse to let anyone help him but complain about not getting help. I’m tired of trying to encourage him just for him to scream at us.
Maybe I just don’t have a lot of patience for him because of the horrible things I’ve heard him say to me and my mom. Maybe it’s because I went through severe depression and was able to seek help even though it was hard. I know everyone goes through mental health crisis differently but I just have such a hard time feeling sympathetic for him. Like I said, I think it’s because my family has been a victim of his outbursts for years.
Idk I just really needed to get this off my chest because my mom doesn’t really like to talk about it. But when he walks into a room you can feel all the fun and joy be sucked out of the room. Watching him eat freaks me out and I just wanna yell at him.
I just witnessed him eating a pint of ice cream while waiting for his pizza to cook (which was a large one btw) and then he ate THE WHOLE THING.
I just wanted to watch TV in the living room with our other brother but I can’t without seeing him stuffing his face in the kitchen.
Also this part is a little gross so warning for that…
He spends HOURS in the bathroom because of his eating habits. It’ll be 3 AM and I get up to pee but lo and behold…he’s in the bathroom. I’ll knock in the door and tell him to hurry up and what does he do? HE GETS IN THE SHOWER. Like wtf you can’t wait for me to piss real quick? No because he’s selfish af. He also just walks around the house belching loud af all day for obvious reasons.
He’s just disgusting and I’m tired of living in the same house with him. I had to move back to save money for grad school but part of me wants to bite the bullet and just waste money on a cheap apartment. It’s just not fair that my mom lets the whole house revolve around him.
This was a lot longer than I expected. I just really needed to get this out. If you got all the way to the end sorry you had to read that and thanks for listening.

NISA

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
6:00 PM	Flower City Union	Gold Star FC Detroit	Link
7:00 PM	Maryland Bobcats FC	Savannah Clovers FC	Link
7:30 PM	Club De Lyon FC	Michigan Stars FC	Link

NISA Nation

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
6:00 PM	Lobos FC	AS Los Angeles FC	-
10:00 PM	JASA RWC	Modesto City FC	-

Eastern Premier Soccer League

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
7:30 PM	Nova FC	Estudiantes FC	-
7:30 PM	NY Pancyprian Freedoms	NY Greek Americans	Game In Frame

Midwest Premier League

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
2:00 PM	Troy United FC	1927 SC	Michigan Soccer Network
2:00 PM	Cedar Rapids Inferno SC	Club Atletico St. Louis	-
5:00 PM	Indy Boyz FC	Steel City FC	-
6:00 PM	AIM SC	West Michigan Bearings SC	-
6:00 PM	AFC Columbia	Southeast Soccer Academy	-
6:45 PM	Liquid Football	Futsal Factory Academy	-
7:00 PM	Livonia City FC	United West FC	-
7:30 PM	Bavarian United SC	Edgewater Castle FC	-
7:30 PM	Chicago House AC	Czarni Jaslo	Sports Broadcast Solutions
8:00 PM	Thundercats SC	Cedars FC	-
8:30 PM	RWB Adria	Berber City FC	-

Gulf Coast Premier League

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
4:00 PM	Gulf Coast United	Florida Roots	-
6:30 PM	Hattiesburg FC	Union 10 FC	-
7:00 PM	Crescent City FC	BRSC Capitals	-
7:15 PM	Gaffa FC	Central Louisiana FC	-
7:15 PM	FC Sharp Keys	Daggers CTX	-
7:15 PM	StrikerZ DFW	Shreveport United	-
7:15 PM	Pensacola Bay United	SOWEGANS SC	-

Southwest Premier League

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
7:00 PM	ARIZONA SAHUAROS	SPORTING ARIZONA	-
8:00 PM	SANTA CLARA SPORTING CLUB	HAYWARD FC	-

Cascadia Premier League

Time (Eastern Time)	Home	Away	Link
5:30 PM	Nido Aguila 2	Mt. Rainier F.C.	-
9:00 PM	Snohomish County	Seattle Celtic	Youtube

Sounds stupid (thus I'm here) but here me out. Where I live, we don't have numbered streets. We have all these stupid names like Palm Estates, Sea breeze Ave, Cocowood Ct, Lake Wilson Rd, etc.
I don't even know names of roads 1/4th mile from my house. Did driver's have a giant map of the city, like you see 80's movies joking about when making cross country drives? Were they just expected to learn all the roads?
I mean a 1990's pizza delivery guy at least did one delivery at a time. I know they had maps and stayed in smaller areas near their store. UPS/FEDEX does any address period, in a larger area.

1989 my two beautiful boys, age 7 and 9 were playing in the yard when an intoxicated man decided to drive his car, fell asleep and take their lives. My world changed at that moment. Family drama with shame and blame didn't help but I made it through the necessary acts to bury my boys. I froze up. I simply froze up. I took a leave of absence from my job as an RN in a hospital, my supervisor was so understanding and supportive. At home I had paint and covered with windows to let no light in and I sat in darkness for a year never leaving the house. My friends were wonderful, they fed me. They went shopping and brought me food, I ordered pizza. I sat in the dark not knowing if it was night or day. My friends never pushed me to do more than I could, they just fed me, visited, brought groceries and items I needed and let me work myself out of being frozen.
A year later, I was watching a talk show one morning. I didn't have cable so I had to only watch local stations. I was laying on the living room sofa and noticed some sparkling lights up in the corner of the room. I thought it was an electrical fire and sat up quickly to get a better view. It looked like sparklers burning, lots of them, beautiful white lights growing larger and in number until they were about a yard wide and 2 feet tall, a bundle of thousands of white, silver like sparkles flashing brightly. From this light source I clearly heard the voices of two men, maybe both upper 20's in age, very articulate, well educated and professional. They both took turns talking to me, very abruptly, sternly, with force, meaning and impatience with me. It was like I was being severely reprimanded. In part they said, "You have been holding us back from very important business we MUST attend to. We can not do the work we need to do that is so very important as you are constantly holding us back. We can not allow this to continue, you have to let go of us so we can move into our jobs and do the work we are suppose to be doing. Your constant attachment and holding on has stifled our ability to work and what we need to do is so very important. You just have to let go and let us move on. You are in the way of the great work we are assigned to do." I was being sternly spoken to by my two boys that now sounded like young executives. The only 'nice' thing they said to me was one of them said, "We appreciate what you did for us but now you just have to let us go."
I was berated on and on, like I was in court or in trouble at work in an HR meeting. It was not pleasant but it got my attention pronto. I replied, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea, yes, of course I'll let you do what you need to do. I miss you both so much but I had no idea I was holding you back from what you needed to be doing." It was like being pulled over by the cops, and told I did something wrong and I was trying to make it right. I admitted I was holding on to them but had no idea it was causing them grief from where they are now. Their voices stopped, the sparkling light diminished in size and brightness into just being a plain corner of the wall. I put my hand on that spot, it felt like a normal wall.
I got in the shower, got cleaned up, had to call someone to jump my car as it's not been started in over a year and drove to my old work place to put in an application again. My supervisor had moved on. I did a quick interview and got hired again. I started orientation the next day.
The encounter with my two boys was a jolt to my system. I went from frozen to thawed quickly. My deep mourning of my sons immediately changed to missing them, in a healthy way. There was no thinking about it, the stern talking to I got, the lecture, the demand that I let them move on let me move on, too. Giving them their freedom to do the work they have to do gave me the freedom to do the work I have to do still, too. I enjoyed letting the light back into my house as I slowly started using a razor blade to scrape the paint off the windows. It took months but it was so healing to turn from darkness to light again.
Hospice concepts were coming to America at that time, from the UK. I followed up with a local hospice and soon was the charge RN a 10 bed inpatient unit for terminally ill patients. I was a Hospice RN for 17 years, including 5 years as a pediatric Hospice Nurse. The loss of my children gave me the insight to support others that are transitioning into their next life, or career as I see it now. I had many, many amazing experience with many of my patients spreading their wings and practicing moving on before and after their deaths. My experience with my boys gave me the strength to support my dying patients and the family and friends they were leaving behind.
I've not seen my boys since. I don't want to disturb them from the work they need to do. That lecture I got that day was enough!! Of course I think of them so often but never clinging, but now knowing they matured, grew up, and have important work they do that is valuable to them wherever they are. That makes me smile. I hope my story can brighten someone else. We go on, there is no end.
I did an interview about being a Hospice RN and some of the spirit encounters I've had, including this story about my boys. I'm sharing the link on Youtube. https://youtu.be/CFcD1XRwP6s

I(16) and my family (dad, mom, brother) have lived in my grandfathers house for 16 years. My parents only had a small one bedroom house and decided before i was born to move back in with my maternal grandfather. Early years of my life, i had wonderful memories with my grandfather, he was kind, and treated me amazingly. He would buy me clothes, art supplies, guitar lessons, and pretty much got me whatever I wanted. He used to take me everywhere with him. Eventually as I got older, I saw how he treated my mom and her siblings, and began hearing stories about his temper. The cursed number 16 was one i heard about a lot, every one of my aunts and uncle got kicked out when they were all 16, my grandma, their mom was out of the picture at the time due to drugs, which only continued to fuel my grandfathers rage as well as his narcissism. Anyways, me and him would have a problem here and there around my early teen years. One time he yelled at me over pizza, seriously, and all because I wanted to save some for my dad when he finished work. And another time he said he no longer loved me because i didnt clean my room.
Fast forward now, im 16, and we got in a big fight around a month ago. I was so angry and I wanted to stand up for myself like he always told me to do. This lead to him basically saying he no longer wants to see me, and i left sobbing. Having someone who loved me my whole life, just to say things like that or even at some point threaten to kick me out. I went and lived with my grandmother for a week but due to her wifi/service being terrible I had to come back home for schoolwork (currently in independent study). Everything was fine, we talked things out and apologized. That was of course until today, he asked me about my classes, and me finding school and i replied truthfully about me needing 10 credits over the summer. This lead him into a full blown anger, saying he's been to school and knows how it works and accusing me of being a liar. I got upset but remained formal and tried to answer his questions and defend my self from the accusations. Of course, he saw this of attitude and threaten to kick me out. I just said okay and walked off to my moms room where i began sobbing.
I began talking about moving out to either my grandmas house or my aunties house. I no longer want to live under this roof, and if living here means constant harassment then i no longer want t have my self on this environment. I no longer want t see him i want to cute him off and i have no desire to see him ever again if i move out. I will not shed a tear when he passes. All the tears I've shed now will be the ones he receives. I cant help but think im being dramatic and lack empathy for my way thinking. He is my family and my grandfather, and i do love him. Im just so tired of this treatment. I hate him.

Wear and tear on your car is no joke in this gig, and I don’t have $6000 to repair my transmission.
The pizza place doesn’t have any room in house, so I lost my job and means of transportation.
Tip your drivers well; I’m out of pizza driving after four years.

Shadow Roleplay We are a serious roleplay community with a focus of creating an environment that everyone will enjoy. We community driven and open to suggestions. We are a small and welcoming community that offers something for both new and experienced players! Our goal is to have a fun and create an immersive environment for everyone. We have an active development team that strives to create an amazing experience for everyone by constantly putting out updates and fixes. We have an experienced staff team that is always willing to help and are quick to help.
Our Best Features: ⭐️Stable Server Framework ⭐️ ⭐️ Amazing Interiors ⭐️ ⭐️Optimized With No Lag⭐️ Serious Roleplay Semi-Realistic Economy Custom Clothing Custom Police Vehicles Player Owned Businesses Police MDT Group Legal Jobs XP Based Legal and Illegal Jobs Casino Laser Tag Go karts Bowling 18+ Emotes / Activities TV's and DJ Booths Hidden Illegal Activities Robberies & Heists Financing For Houses, Businesses, and Cars! ⭐️ Experienced Development Team ⭐️ ⭐️ Dedicated & Experienced Staff ⭐️ …and a lot more!
Player Owned Businesses: ☕️ Bean Machine Burger Shot UwU Cafe Pizza This Vanilla Unicorn Benny's Los Santos Tuners Premium Deluxe Motors Bahama Mama's …and so much more!
Join our discord and check out some pictures, clips, and teasers! When you are ready hit that connect button! Which life will you choose… Civilian? Law Enforcement? Medical Services? Or the Gang life?
https://discord.gg/682g8wpYRv

A few people (two) asked for help with the Universally Loved achievement, and I thought I'd just make a post here for everyone to access. There's probably already other guides, but I'll just drop mines here in case it's more useful to others.
Keep in mind it's organized chronologically, so don't move on from morning to afternoon without completing EVERYTHING necessary (minus the optional stuff if you don't want to do it).
And obviously, spoilers for the entire REAL WORLD section.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REAL WORLD Guide
PROLOGUE (after 1st STAB)

• Attempt to confirm naming yourself OMOCAT (you can reload save file if you’d like) (achievement)
• Grab FIRST AID KIT from hallway and BANDAGE from dining room drawer
• Open door for HELLMARI, then she will appear in MOM’S room if WTF ≥ 6

​
​
THREE DAYS LEFT
MORNING

• Brush teeth (every morning for achievement)
• High five KEL every instance you get (achievement)
• Encourage MINCY at FARWAY PARK
• Feed ORANGE CAT at monkey bars at FARAWAY PARK and get TRASH
• COIN located in front of FARAWAY PLAZA; there is no DOLLAR spawned from throwing this one into the fountain, so this is optional
• Talk to GRUFF GUY with leak; go to his house and watch his attempt
• Help ALL-AMERICAN GUY find his TV REMOTE (under the couch)
• Talk to the ARTIST and agree with all her advice
• PART TIME JOBS to do
  • Pizza delivery, save before starting the job
    • Quit the job, then do the job again (achievement)
    • Deliver all the pizzas on the first try to get a perfect score. Reload your save if you mess up
    • Get OTHERWORLDLY CD
  • Fly swatting
  • Organizing tools
• Pick up tutoring posters at OTHERMART, then tutor BRENT and JOY
  • BRENT (Math answers)
    • 1. 204
    • 2. 32
    • 3. -2
  • JOY (English answers)
    • 1. On
    • 2. Adverb
    • 3. “I think eggplant is the better tasting soft vegetable.”
• Buy PET ROCK (costs $10)
• Beat JACKSON and get MERRY CD
• Talk to SEAN and KAREN in FIX-IT
• Pick up YELLOW BUN GRANNY’S prescription
• Get KIM’S MOM’S SHEARS
• Get SEASHELL #1 at garden area of FIX-IT
• Beat all PET ROCKS opponents
  • Beat CREEPY GUY for FEDORA - optional if you want to collect it
  • Beat SHOPKEEP for NOSTALGIC CD
  • Beat AYEE (the fish stall lady at OTHERMART) for “YOU ROCK” CAP [tedious]
• Lose the battle to KIM and VANCE outside OTHERMART
• Beat SHOPKEEP’S high score of 6000 at arcade machine and get COOL GLASSES (costs $1 if you win on the first try)
• Donate $10 to SMELLY HOBO for GOLD WATCH or "GOLD" WATCH, the sell it to SHOPKEEP at HOBBEEZ
• Donate $30 to GUITAR GUY
• Buy x1 HERO SANDWICH ($5) - optional, if you want to use it later for a special fight)
• Buy x5 APPLE JUICE and ORANGE JUICE ($20 total) and get RED HEADBAND and ORANGE HEADBAND - optional if you want to collect the headbands
• Buy x5 CDS (DYNAMIC, CELESTIAL, LIVELY, CHILL, and BRUTAL) at HOBBEEZ ($50 total)
• Buy 1x MEAT and 6x FISH ($67 total)

AFTERNOON

• Encourage MINCY at OTHERMART
• Feed ORANGE CAT at roof of BASIL’S HOUSE and get TRASH
• COIN is located at yard of CLUMSY GUY’S house after sermon; after throwing COIN in fountain, DOLLAR spawns at MIKHAEL’S HOUSE
• Help CLUMSY GUY get WEDDING RING out of sink
• Help WRINKLY FOREHEAD choose a gift for his son at HOBBEEZ
  • Get SEASHELL #2
• Donate x15 TRASH

​
​
TWO DAYS LEFT
MORNING

• Brush teeth
• Encourage MINCY at candy store in OTHERMART
• Feed ORANGE CAT at roof of SUNNY’s house
• COIN is at CHURCH; DOLLAR spawns at KIM’S HOUSE
• Talk to GRUFF GUY with leak; go to his house and watch his attempt
  • Get SEASHELL #3 from hole in wall
    • Give CRIS all 3 SEASHELLS to get SEASHELL NECKLACE
• Find ARTIST’S dog by KEL’S HOUSE and speak to dog (achievement)
• Do all PART TIME JOBS again
  • Pizza delivery
  • Fly swatting
  • Organizing tools
• Finish BRENT’S and JOY’S worksheets
  • BRENT (Math answers)
    • 1. 25
    • 2. 4, -4
    • 3. 7.103 (or 7.461 for older versions)
  • JOY (English answer)
    • 1. Re
    • 2. wt.
    • 3. Crawl
• Get PEPPER SPRAY from KEL’S MOM'S purse. Use it to defeat the HOOLIGANS later
• Interact with BEE HIVE; you don't have to win the battle
• Talk to BEBE’S MOM, then get the lamp from FIX-IT
• Reconcile WRINKLY FOREHEAD and his son
• Talk to CLUMSY GUY’S wife’s at GINO’S PIZZERIA
• Talk to CLUMSY GUY at candy shop
• Buy all 13 CHARMS in HOBBEEZ ($39) - optional unless you want to collect everything
• Before leaving BASIL’S house, save so you can reject KEL’S high five, then reload and high five KEL (achievement)

​
​
AFTERNOON

• Save before leaving BASIL’S HOUSE, then choose not to high-five KEL, then reload the save and high five KEL (achievements)
• Encourage MINCY at garden area at back of FIX-IT
• Feed ORANGE CAT at tree outside OTHERMART and get ARCADE PIECE
• COIN spawns at WRINKLY FOREHEAD’S house; DOLLAR spawns between cars in front of FARAWAY PLAZA
• HELP ALL-AMERICAN GUY find his TV REMOTE (in the bathroom)
• Take KEL’S $20 from his wardrove (achievement)
• Play hide-and-seek with DAPHNE and BOWEN at MIKHAEL'S HOUSE
• Get SEASHELL #4 north of HANGOUT SPOT - optional if you want to collect it
• Fix arcade game at GINO’S PIZZA
  • Get 500+ points in SPROUT MOLE EATER and get SEASHELL #5 - optional if you want to collect it
• Go to CLUMSY GUY’S house
• Donate remaining CDs
• Donate x7 TRASH
• Donate all remaining MONEY to OLD HOBO (he will double it and give it back the next day if you need the MONEY)

​
​
ONE DAY LEFT
MORNING

• Brush teeth
• Encourage MINCY at CHURCH
• Feed ORANGE CAT at HANGOUT SPOT behind FARAWAY PARK
  • Get SEASHELL #6 - optional if you want to collect it
• COIN at THICK EYEBROWS’ house; DOLLAR on fence in front of CHURCH
• Have AUBREY fix GRUFF GUY’S leak and get GHOULISH CD
• Help ALL-AMERICAN GUY find the TV REMOTE one last time (it's in the PIE in the kitchen)
• Send ANGEL back to ARTIST’S house
• PART TIME JOBS
  • Pizza delivery
  • Fly swatting
  • Organizing tools
• Get FLOWER CLIP from CHARLIE - optional, if you want to collect it
• Give GUITAR GUY packed lunch from JOY’S father to get SECRET CD
• Give FLOWERS to MARI (achievement)
  • Have a picnic with MARI
• Go to SEAN and KAREN’S house and help them cook
• Go to the HANGOUT SPOT, explore the RECYCULTIST'S HQ, and do the RECYCLEPATH
  • Give KEL ORANGE JOE and he'll be HAPPY! - optional
  • Give HERO the HERO SANDWICH and he'll be HAPPY! - optional
  • Win and get COOL BOTTLECAP (you only get the item if you win, but you get the achievement regardless)
• Donate x6 TRASH
  • Get ETHEREAL CD

AFTERNOON

• Encourage MINCY at FARAWAY PARK (you get a sketch of SUNNY and KEL)
• Feed ORANGE CAT at MARI’S GRAVE and get TRANQUIL CD
• COIN besides blue picnic blanket at FARAWAY PARK; DOLLAR at GRUFF GUY’S HOUSE
• Have a picnic at HANGOUT SPOT (achievement)
• Go to SEAN and KAREN’s housewarming party
• Donate remaining CDs

Chapter 6: Two Girls, One Cuck
Me: Is he always like this during gaming weekends, or is this all my fault?
Athena: He’s always ranting and raving about his crusade of the week. And he usually gets into a screaming match with Mori over something dumb. But this is some next-level rage.
Sage (to Athena): You ummm... told...
Athena: She knows, babe. She already knew.
Sage: Okay. So sorry about that, by the way.
Me: It’s fine. It’s nothing new.
Sage: He usually has some nasty chick come over on Friday or Saturday. They go... do whatever they do, and then he comes back either completely chill or completely enraged. And fucking RANK.
Me: Maybe I should have packed his fleshlight for him.
Axton: Why the hell does he need a fleshlight when he’s got you?
Me: Oh, he hardly ever tries to do anything with me. And the last few times he tried; he was too plastered.
Snorlax: Whisky wang?
Me: Bingo.
Axton: That’s criminally negligent. Do you need a hug?
I smiled. “It’s fine. The whisky wang lets me off the hook. But I’m not gonna turn down a hug.”
I crawled over to him and let his arms envelop me. As I had been starved for affection for nearly a year, this was better than sex. Underneath the general aura of cigarette smoke and whiskey that permeated the room, I could smell his skin. It was intoxicating. So I nestled into that rare, delicate balance of euphoria and tranquility until we heard the back door open and close. Axton and I scrambled to opposite sides of the room. But it was just Mori.
Mori (grinning mischievously): What did I walk in on?
Athena: Nothing that would excite you, Mori.
Mori approached me and sat down. “I think he’s chilled out. Right now, he just needs to know that you’re not mad at him. Are you up for going to talk to him.”
I blinked. “I am mad at him. I’m embarrassed. And anything I say to him is just gonna piss him off.” Plus, I was high as a fucking kite on Adderall and affection. “Let me think about it for a minute?”
I considered a novel approach. After the puke-inducing fight that he’d had with Mori last night, they had made peace. I decided I would mimic Mori’s actions and try call a truce with as few words as possible, which would ideally prevent FPB wasting hours playing the victim and assassinating my character.
Me: I’ll let him know that it’s chill. That’s all I can do.
Mori nodded.
I headed for the back door and stepped onto the porch.
Me: FPB?
He grunted. He was sitting slumped in a chair on the porch, smoking a cigarette. I moved around so that I was standing in front of him and I offered my hand.
Me: Peace?
FPB: From now on, you only talk to Athena and Sage. No talking to ANY of the single dudes.
He was pointing his cigarette at me and punctuating each phrase with a little jab of the cherry in my direction.
Me: That’s not reasonable. Would you prefer it if I just left? How am I supposed to play if I’m not allowed to talk to half the people on the team? Or the GM?
FPB: Then you only talk about game-related stuff. Mori’s junk doesn’t go anywhere near you, you don’t share beer with Snorlax, and you don’t so much as look at pretty boy, Axton.
Me: If it’s game-related stuff, Axton’s the one I need to be talking to the most. You talk to Snorlax when we’re planning an attack.
FPB: That’s different.
Me: HOW?
FPB: Because Snorlax isn’t trying to get in my PANTS.
So much for a succinct truce. I decided to try and steer the conversation in a different direction.
Me: I’m being serious. I tagged along this weekend so that I could try to have FUN learning to play this game you love so much. (I extended my hand more fervently.) Peace?
FPB: Swear to me that you won’t so much as look at that jizz-mopping pretty boy.
Me: Only if you swear to me that some girl didn’t come over here to hook up with you last night.
FPB went white.
Me: It is what it is. But if you get to receive booty calls here, I’m allowed to interact with your friends. ALL of them.
FPB grunted dismissively.
I wanted to say, “If you’re allowed to LICK, I’m allowed to LOOK.” Again, I refrained from deliberately angering FPB out of respect for the other people whose time was being disrupted by his rage. And he was no longer snarling and shouting. That was as about as good as it was gonna get. I went back inside and took my seat. Everyone looked at me, appearing anxious to hear what had happened.
Me: Well, he had some unreasonable demands... I refused them. But I think he’s calm enough to play again. No promises.
FPB slammed the back door and trudged back to his assigned seat.
Mori: Axton and Sage, please trade places.
FPB: Why? Do you think I’m gonna...
Mori held up his magic Funky-silencing hand. “My run, my rules.”
It was FPB’s roll. It wound up being successful. Very successful. As he entered the media station, a swarm of heavily armed guards surrounded him, but he managed to obliterate all of them, wielding a sword in one hand and an SMG with homing bullets in the other hand. This might have been just the thing we all needed to calm his ass down!
Mori: Show of hands for all who consider this an epic success!
We all voted affirmatively.
Mori: Then my Assistant GM shall prepare the finest tincture in the land for our supreme Street Samurai, Funky P. Beard.
Sage soon returned with a shot of Johnny Walker Blue. FPB sniffed it deeply, toasted to the team, and slugged it back in one gulp. I think I even saw a small smile on his face, although it was hard to tell underneath that behemoth of a beard.
I exhaled and felt myself relax as much as I could with Adderall fueling my wakefulness. I planned a super sick (albeit risky) complex action, rolled, and... got hit with Tar Baby. That was a giga-glitch.
FPB looked over at me with menacing eyes. But I had an idea.
Mori: OP, come accept a staff punishment!
Me: Game Master... Sir? FPB, our epically successful Samurai, suggested to me that I should kiss Athena instead of kissing your staff.
I glanced nervously at Athena. She was giggling. Good. I hadn’t offended her. I also glanced nervously at Sage. He was grinning from ear to ear. Good. I hadn’t offended him, either.
Mori pretended to ponder...
Mori: ACCEPTABLE! You shall kiss for 15 seconds. Assistant GM, you keep time.
Sage: No way, dude. I’m watching.
Snorlax: I’ll do it. No promises that I’ll keep my eyes on the timer.
FPB growled at him.
Athena and I turned to each other, trying to keep from laughing. This was nothing new to me. I had kissed girls onstage, at theatre parties, during games of truth or dare... And I was confident that this wouldn’t anger FPB in the slightest. If anything, it might put him in a better mood.
Snorlax: 3... 2... KISS!
Everything was fine at first. Athena was giggling, which made me giggle, but we kept our lips locked. Then, after only a few seconds... she seemed to vanish. I opened my eyes and saw that FPB had grabbed her, pulled her away, and was now dragging her to the corner of the War Room near the staircase.
FPB: YOU WICKED THUNDER-SEE-YOU-NEXT-TUESDAY! HOW DARE YOU KISS MY GIRLFRIEND?!?!
With an almost feline stride, Sage crossed the room and put FPB in a chokehold. FPB was screeching and furiously thrashing about, but Sage seemed to be trained in martial arts (couldn’t tell you which one, specifically).
FPB: OP, YOU’RE A DEMENTED SLUT. I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN HOOKING UP WITH AXTON. I KNOW YOU AND MORI HAVE BEEN SNORTING COKE OFF EACH OTHER’S ASSES. NOW YOU’RE KISSING GIRLS, TOO! I SHOULD MA...nhjsnjvB...SVJLjvvvvvv... And then he passed out.
Silence fell over the War Room.
Mori: So... You wanna go snort coke off my ass?
I laughed. “I’m good with the Addy, Mori. But thank you.”
I glanced over at Axton, and he raised his eyebrows, silently making the follow-up to Mori’s joke. I felt the corners of my mouth involuntarily turn upwards and I raised my eyebrows in return.
But the beard stirred. Sage was still in full attack mode and Athena stood by at a safe distance. I crossed the War Room and asked if FPB had hurt her. She shook her head.
Athena: No, I’m fine. I just don’t want another fight to break out.
Me: I’m so sorry. I had no idea he’d get mad about THAT.
Athena: Right?! What’s wrong with him? I thought all guys liked to watch girls kiss.
Mori made his way over to a defeated FPB and an enraged Sage.
Mori: Gentlemen... Shall we take a break from the planning phase and settle this score with some PVP?
Sage: NO. We’re not settling this in game. Funky P. Beard called my girlfriend a horrible name, he physically attacked her...
Athena: I’m fine, babe. Can we just play without FPB for a while?
Sage: Okay, maybe he didn’t hurt her. But he definitely crossed a line.
Mori: I agree. There should be consequences.
Sage: No dick slaps or looking at your butthole or sitting in your lap as “punishments” this time. Actions have natural consequences. The natural consequences are that he scared my girlfriend, he embarrassed his girlfriend, and he pissed me off. He also disrupted our game, so I assume the rest of you are pissed off?
Before anyone could answer, FPB played the victim and pretended to cry over Sage choking him out after he grabbed Athena and called her that awful name. Nobody cared. Once he realized that he wasn’t getting any sympathy, he began to rage about being forced to watch his girlfriend “cuckold” him and how he was being made to feel like he wasn’t manly since he was offended by the sight of two girls kissing. Mori used the magic Funky-silencing hand and invited the rest of us to express our grievances. He also challenged Funky to take it all in without verbally (or physically) attacking anyone.
Snorlax offered FPB some weed to help him calm down, and FPB launched into an irrational tirade about how much he hated drugs. He also mocked Snorlax for his weight, which isn’t cool. If your personality sucks, your physical appearance is fair game for mockery. Otherwise, it’s just rude. Plus, Snorlax is a cute chubby guy. They do exist.
Axton basically told him he needed to take the stick out of his ass, and FPB barked out some more accusations of lust. In the midst of these accusations, he referred to me as “his property,” and declared that I was too “shallow and FEMALE” to make my own decisions. Axton clenched his fists and took a few steps towards FPB, but Mori intervened and gave a very flowery speech about going outside and letting the fresh air carry away the aggression.
Snorlax followed Axton outside, merrily carrying a bong. The whole thing wrapped up when I said, “I’m not your property. I agreed to be your partner once upon a time, but this isn’t a healthy partnership. I’m out. I’m done trying to be a girlfriend to someone who thinks so little of me.”
This was far from the first time I’d delivered this speech to FPB, so I had it memorized. Of course, it never “hit” the way I hoped it would. FPB wasn’t contrite. He didn’t seem sad to lose me. He seemed, as always, righteously angry over having a possession confiscated. So I went to join Axton and Snorlax on the porch. Athena whispered, “Good for you, girl!” as she followed me out, leaving the principal and the vice principal to deal with the delinquent.
A lot of commotion ensued in the corner of the War Room after FPB muttered a very offensive term for “lesbian” at Athena as she exited. Mori had to physically restrain Sage from beating the tar out of FPB. Mori also apparently got a little excited whist restraining his Assistant GM, and they traded some colorful words. Athena closed the door on the hullabaloo.
The bong was bubbling away and the sweet, skunky scent of gonja filled the air.
Snorlax: Want a hit?
Me: Nah. I feel like I might have to dash any minute now if FPB keeps raging, so I need to keep my head clear.
Axton: You’re not leaving with him, are you?
Me: Hell no! I’ve got my car here, and he’s NOT coming with me if I feel like it’s time for me to ghost.
Axton: Is there any way we can vote his ass off the island and convince you to stay?
I cautiously approached the bench where Axton and Snorlax were sharing the bong. They shifted a little to make room for me, and I sat down next to a still shirtless Axton. Athena pulled up a chair next to the bench and took a tiny flask from the pocket of her PJs and slugged back a few sips of liquid tranquility.
Me: For the sake of the other people on the road, I wouldn’t let his drunk ass get behind the wheel. Does Sage have a soundproof basement where we can lock him up?
Athena: I WISH.
Axton unapologetically threw his arm around my shoulder, and I brazenly laced my fingers through his.
Athena: OP, why did you start dating FPB? That might be too personal...
Me: No, it’s fine. Believe it or not, he was incredibly nice to me at first. He thinks I keep pulling away from him because he’s too nice, but... Let’s just say that he and I have very different definitions of “nice.”
Snorlax: Maybe I’m just high, but I think he was pretty chill when we first formed the team.
Axton: I didn’t join until last year, so I’ve only known him as a raging psycho.
Me: You’re both right. That’s his M.O. He’s nice and normal until he’s secured his place.
Before I had the chance to fully explain my perception of FPB’s uncanny ability to simulate sanity, Sage and Mori stepped onto the porch, with FPB trailing dejectedly behind them.
Mori: We’ve decided to wrap it up for the night. Feel free to get drunk as hell, smoke weed, snort coke off each other’s asses, party like rockstars! We’ll reconvene at noon tomorrow.
But fucking Funky lifted his head and roared, “You’re cheating on me AGAIN???”
Me: I told you, Funky. I’m out. I quit. We’re done. And you hate my living guts, so what the hell do you care???
FPB: I didn’t agree to that. So we’re still together.
Sage: That’s not how breakups work, FPB. And what exactly is your definition of cheating?
FPB: She’s cheated on me with EVERYONE. Except you, Sage. You’re actually the only one I still trust. OP’s a SLUT.
Me: WHEN have I cheated on you?
FPB: You let Mori put his dick on your face...
Me: So did literally EVERYONE here...
Mori: Hell, I’d put it on my own face if I were flexible enough!
FPB: I’m still talking. You also stuck your hand in Mori’s butt crack. You shared a beer with Snorlax. You kissed Athena. And now you’re sitting there canoodling with Pretty Boy in front of everyone. CHEATER.
Mori threw his arm around FPB. “This? Is this a good canoodle, or is your noodle still limp?”
FPB shrugged him off. “Barf me a river, Mori. It’s the intention.”
Mori (hugging FPB around the waist): Okay, suppose I’m imagining going to Pound Town with you right now. (He added a few demonstrative pelvic thrusts.) Does that mean we’ve hooked up?
FPB flailed about until Mori let go of him, bellowed some barely intelligible insults towards everyone, made some random animal noises, and stomped back into the house. As much as I hated to see my new friends on the receiving end of his wrath, I don’t think I would have ever been able to effectively stand up to him without five witnesses to his bizarre behavior who miraculously had my back, despite having a long history of friendship with FPB.
I had tried to discuss our problems with close friends in the past, but FPB would always be on his best behavior in front of them, so I always wound up looking like the asshole. It took the presence of people with whom he felt comfortable enough to stomp around (sans mask) in order to gather witnesses to the insanity. And gather them, I had. I was FREE.

Looks like it might be time for a cast list refresher! So let me reintroduce the chummers!!!!
OP (c’est moi!)
Female, late 20s
Grad student
Perky emo girl with purple hair
Likes crass humor
Nerdy, petite, beard bait
Decker
​
Funky P. Beard (FPB)
Male, early 30s
Bona fide psycho piece of shit
Street Samurai
​
Mori
The GM
Male, early/mid 30s
Hypersexual kinky bastard
Likes exhibitionism, vomit, and illegal substances
Charismatic, cult-leader vibes
Very amusing, always nice to OP
The only person who seemed capable of getting FPB to behave
​
Axton
Male, late 20s
Grad student
Sexy, pleasant to be around
Has a sense of humor that meshes well with OP’s
Usually able to ignore FPB’s psycho behavior
The primary target of FPB’s jealousy
Rigger
​
Sage
Male, early/mis 30s
Assistant GM
Host of the gaming weekends
Typically level-headed, but losing patience with FPB
Skilled in martial arts
Mage
​
Athena
Female, early 30s
Sage’s girlfriend
Co-host of the gaming weekends
Increasingly intolerant of FPB
Petite, pretty, friendly... probably also beard bait
Shaman
​
Snorlax
Male, early 30s
The funny fat guy (NOT a neckbeard)
Easy-going, friendly, rarely directly involved in the weekend’s drama
Stoner
Adept
​
Chapter 5: The Lap of Luxury
We had been moving back and forth between the garage and the living room (it wasn’t the “War Room” until the gaming began) for the past hour or so. This was actually my favorite part of the weekend. I wasn’t exhausted yet, nobody was plastered yet, and I was genuinely getting to know FPB’s buddies. Snorlax told me about his former career as a semi-pro wrestler, and how an injury had forced him to start working as a mall cop. Athena and Sage were both pharmacy techs, and they were considering opening their own gaming shop. Mori was a paralegal for an LGBT law firm and ran a fairly lucrative fetish website on the side. Axton was going to grad school for social work and was the bass player for a classic rock cover band. Damn it, we had genuine common interests. Why couldn’t he have been a parolee or a gong farmer?
And I was able to chat comfortably with all the team members because FPB had taken to the master bathroom upstairs to get “re-ready.” Not only did he desperately need to change his “dew-covered” underpants, but he also needed to take a full shower (using Athena’s bathing products, of course). He would then spend nearly a full hour blow-drying, flat-ironing, and spiking his jet-black hair so that he emerged looking like some bizarre mash-up of Hagrid and Discount Tom Sandoval.
I’m also assuming that he manscaped, and I sincerely hoped he’d brought his own pink razors for this task. But as for his bushy behemoth of a beard? He took absolutely NO care of it. I never understood the statement he was trying to make by being fastidious AF with every aspect of personal grooming, save his defining feature. No matter. He was absent, and I was finally having fun! Alas, the fun wouldn’t last. The time for pre-game was approaching, so Sage and Athena went to the kitchen to arrange the shots.
Athena: How many do you want, OP?
Me: I think I’d better stick with two since I’ve already had a beer.
A freshly showered and finally dressed FPB turned to me, “Yeah, you need to stay sober.”
Oh, now that bullshit made me want to drink...
Me: Athena, make it three for me.
FPB shot me a menacing look.
Me: What? I’m not gonna get wasted off one extra shot.
FPB: I’m saving you from yourself. You could at least TRY to appreciate my chivalry.
Me: Right...
But then I had second thoughts about angering the already rage-prone beast. I didn’t want to ruin the evening for the other team members. And FPB’s temper tantrums definitely had the potential to ruin the evening for everyone in attendance.
Me: I’ll shoot two and just sip on the third one. Does that sound reasonable?
FPB shrugged.
Me: Come on! I feel like such a sissy compared to the rest of you.
FPB: Whose fault is that? You didn’t take advantage of your years and years and years of being a “student” to practice handling your liquor?
Me: No, mostly I studied. And when we partied, we did drugs. We didn’t drink. Not like this, anyway.
I was getting pretty mad, and I did NOT want to have a full-blown screaming match with FPB in front of everyone.
Me: Do you mind if I take five? This isn’t something we need to argue over. I really am trying to learn how to play, and to play the way YOUR TEAM plays. The guide books were no help at all.
FPB: If I catch you asking Mori for coke, so help me...
Me: I just need some air. That’s not code for anything untoward. I just want to go outside.
FPB: I’m coming with you.
Snorlax stepped in.
Snorlax: Bro. Just let her go outside. I’ll stand by the door and make sure Mori doesn’t follow her.
FPB: I don’t care about Mori! You make sure that dick-wipe Axton doesn’t follow her. I *know* he’s trying to bang her.
I could hear all this rancor on my way to the back door.
Me: Dude!!! Chill! I’m not going outside to get drugs. I’m not going outside to shag anybody. I just want five fucking minutes of peace!
Mori stood up. He was shirtless that night, wearing nothing but ultra-sheer light pink boxers that complemented the pink streaks in his bedazzled beard. But despite his wispy attire, the group still kowtowed to him.
Mori: I hereby grant OP *TEN* minutes of solitude on the back porch. FPB, you will use this time to meditate. Think about what it means to be kind to your significant other. Think about what it means to show empathy and acceptance. Think about what it means to enjoy the company of your fellow chummers.
I slipped outside and inhaled the pleasant dusk that was beginning to fill the air. And I found myself feeling indebted to Mori and wondering if this was some sort of cult indoctrination malarkey... or if he’d just known FPB longer than any of the rest of us and had learned how to effectively handle him. And then I decided that it didn’t matter. I finally had the peace and quiet I so desperately needed.
But how *did* FPB know that Axton was flirting with me? I thought we’d both been pretty covert about it. Uhhh... In front of FPB, at least. I decided that he didn’t actually know. He was constantly accusing male friends of “trying to bang me” when there was not even the slightest hint of attraction on anyone’s part. It was a numbers game. If you throw out hundreds of accusations, one might happen to stick. And then you can say, “I TOLD YOU SO.”
I often felt like an alternate universe version of Anne Boleyn, imprisoned by a skinny and even madder version of the famous king. FPB certainly fancied himself a regal figure, worthy of everyone’s fealty. Wait... was Henry VIII the OG neckbeard??? (note... I thought I had made an original observation here, but I came across a year-old post on ReddXReads from u/Raidan1084, so props to you for beating me to this observation!!!)
My unfocused mind ran amuck for a bit longer, and the ten minutes were almost up when I heard a quiet voice calling my name from around the side of the house.
I rounded the corner to answer.
It was Athena.
Athena: OP, I know it’s none of my business, but FPB is a douchebag. That girl who came to the door last night? She’s one of his hook-ups.
I laughed a little. “I know. He’s got loads of them... Hey, do you mind if I ask you a stupid question that I ask myself all the time?”
Athena: Sure.
Me: Why do you guys put up with his shit?
Athena: He and Mori have been best friends since before the team formed. He’s kind of a “package deal.” If we want to keep Mori as our GM, we have to accept FPB. And Mori does run a really fun campaign.
Me: So if he ever crosses a line with Mori, he’s out?
Athena: That’s what we’ve all been hoping for! But Mori’s insanely patient with FPB.
We sighed and returned inside.
FPB was sitting in sulky silence, staring at his polished Chelsea boots. I took a seat on the other side of the room, next to Mori.
Mori: You good?
I nodded.
Mori whispered, “You want some coke?”
Me: Shhhhhh!!! No, I don’t do that!
Mori mouthed, “Adderall?”
I smiled and mouthed, “Later.”
Mori stood. “Tonight, we are making a seating chart. There are six numbers on the floor. You will each draw a number from my underwear, and you will sit on the corresponding number. Is that clear?”
Everyone bellowed in unison, “YES, GAME MASTER.”
This was exciting! I had a decent chance of not having to sit by FPB that night! I was completely fed up with his constant criticism of my character sheets and his suggestions for future moves. He was messing me up more than he was helping.
Mori took a seat on a throw pillow, shoved 6 folded pieces of paper down the back of his boxers and called us up, one by one, to draw our numbers from his drawers.
Being the newbie, I was the last to draw.
Mori: Get all the way up in dat crack, OP.
I laughed and fished the paper out of Mori’s boxers.
FPB took a loud breath and fumed, “MORI, YOU FU...”
Sage put a hand on FPB’s chest, and said very sternly, “Take it down a notch.”
Mori: Tonight, we will find peace amongst ourselves and rain fire and terror on the mega-corporations! Are you with me???”
“WE’RE WITH YOU, GAME MASTER.”
Mori: Then inspect your numbers and take your seats. You should also feel free to sniff the papers.
No one did that.
I got #3. Motherfucker. FPB was sitting to my right. But at least Athena was sitting to my left. I felt like I could trust her, and I felt like she would call him out if he pulled any more of his rage crap. Tragically, Axton was sitting to FPB’s right. That wasn’t going to go well. Snorlax was sitting to Athena’s left, and Sage was in his usual spot, as Mori’s right hand. So it went: tech, muscle, tech, magic, muscle, magic. Not ideal.
Mori surveyed the room. “Not at all how I had hoped,” he muttered. “But nevertheless! The team has been assembled. The time has come...”
“PRE-GAME!!!!!!”
I actually knew what to shout this time. I remembered to pound on my chest, and I looked to Athena in an attempt to learn the tribal dance. I got close enough.
We charged into the fuel station. I stood by the non-threatening triad of shots, while all the other team members stood before their seven shots.
Mori: Fireball. Each tincture shall light a fire in our bellies, improve out spell-casting, and lead us to victory. Chummers... DRINK!!!
I slammed two shots and picked up the third to nurse during the game. Just like the night before, all the other players downed their seven shots with astounding ease.
We returned to the War Room and took our assigned seats.
Mori: The Rules!
Everyone groaned, just as they had previously. Apparently, this was customary.
Mori: If you glitch, you must take a shot of Fireball to boost your skills. OP, you may take a SIP of an alcoholic beverage. You may also do a bump of coke.
FPB clenched his fists, gritted his teeth, and growled. This was delighting me to no end!!! Not only might I get a little taste of my former favorite drug for the first time in YEARS, but Mori also seemed to be actively antagonizing FPB. It was delicious.
And here’s one for the philosophers: AITA... If you’re antagonizing the asshole, doesn’t that kind of make you the hero?
Mori: The second time you glitch, you must kiss my staff or endure a smack in the face from my staff. FPB, you must suffer The Lap of Luxury upon your second glitch... Or if you misbehave.
FPB: Explain that.
Mori: It will become clear in good time, my sweet little Samurai.
FPB shifted uncomfortably. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Mori: All subsequent glitches will result in escalating staff punishments, the anal gaze, removal of armor, or a spanking. Anything the team deems an epic success shall be rewarded with a shot of Johnny Walker Blue. And my trusted Assistant GM has a few new rules to add, just for the time being. Sage the Mage, the floor is yours.
Sage: We can’t afford to pay for another round of professional cleaning for... the time being. We are now asking that ALL team members please use the restroom if you must pee, poop, or puke. Gentlemen, feel free to pee in the backyard, but please refrain from peeing on the porch. Thank you. Back to you, Game Master.
Mori: Place your hand on your chest and pledge your loyalty if you agree to this; and take off your pants if you object.
FPB put his hands near the button of his trousers. Everyone watched him with bated breath. But then he placed his hand on his chest.
Mori: Then we continue planning the station takeover... NOW!
We had barely gotten through two combat turns when Mori decided it was time for leftover Taco Bell, more liquor, and pornography. Tonight, Snorlax rolled for Bat Pussy, an older film that is widely considered to be the Plan 9 from Outer Space of porn. It was definitely on the “softcore” side since no one ever actually banged. It’s a spoof on Batman, and the main character gets a little “twitch” DOWN THERE whenever she needs to go fight crime. I found it wildly entertaining!
In fact, I laughed hysterically throughout the entire movie. Most of us did. FPB even snorted once or twice. As the main character was bouncing on a hippity hop alongside the highway, wearing a cheap costume, I was howling with laughter. Possibly because everyone was a little drunk and the drunken laughter was contagious, possibly because it really was absurdly funny. Or both.
FPB: It’s not THAT funny.
Me (gasping): I can’t help it! This is bat-shit crazy!
Mori: We gotta get OP a Batgirl costume and a hippity hop!
Me: You’re ON! I will absolutely do that! When can we film it???
FPB: You’re gonna recreate a scene from a PORNO??? With MORI???
Sage: Dude! WHAT is sexual about this scene? It’s ridiculous. That’s why we’re all cracking up!
FPB: You have to understand. I’m an intellectual...
I was painfully familiar with the insufferable tripe that typically followed this statement. Apparently, so was the Shadowrun crew. Everyone groaned dismissively. And then something vaguely resembling a sex scene started up, and Mori shushed us all.
Mori: Shhhh! It might finally get good!
It didn’t. Not in the way Mori meant.
The movie ended, most of us lit a ciggy, and we all returned to our assigned seats.
Mori: Shall we refuel before we resume?
A chorus of “HELL YEAH” rang out. I wasn’t in the mood for booze. I was once again beginning to fade around this time, and I needed to find a way to get some Adderall from Mori without FPB noticing. It had already been an incredibly long day for me, even though I had been having fun (aside from having to tend to FPB’s nonsense). Maybe the beardo boyfriend was the reason I was getting exhausted at these gatherings.
Constantly having to talk him down from a temper tantrum, having him constantly looking over my shoulder and scrutinizing my every move, suffering through his ceaseless (and useless) suggestions for my next move, having to defend myself for not drinking enough, then having to turn around and defend myself when I decided to have an extra shot, enduring his seething wrath every time I so much as spoke to Mori or Axton... It was exhausting.
As everyone was refueling, FPB had managed to trap Sage and Athena and was lecturing them about why it was disrespectful to FEMALES to combine humor with sex.
FPB: To make a mockery of the female anatomy, and then to depict sexual acts so crudely is offensive to me as a feminist.
Athena: YOU’RE a feminist?
FPB: Obviously. I would lay down my life to defend the sacred honor of the feminine spirit.
Sage: I’m pretty sure it was just a bad movie. Plus, the superhero was a woman, so...
FPB: But they had to make her superpowers connected to her genitals. That’s objectification. It’s not funny, even if it’s meant to be “so bad, it’s funny.” I’m offended.
I wasn’t part of the discussion, but I interjected, “I feel like humor can be sexy. Being able to laugh during sexual experiences can create a bond. And if both partners are deliberately goofing off, what’s offensive about that?”
Axton raised his glass in approval. I couldn’t help smiling at him.
FPB: Oh, Miss Sex Therapist knows everything.
Me: I don’t know anything. Clearly. It’s just an opinion. Based on research. That I learned in graduate school.
FPB: Some idiots actually researched LAUGHING during sex? That can’t be a real thing.
Me: I’ll print out the articles.
FPB: From where? Hustler?
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him.
Me: Yes. I cite Hustler in all my papers.
Axton: I’ve read the same thing. Laughing releases endorphins. Sex releases endorphins. Plus, why do you think adult novelty stores are always so funny? The elephant trunk underwear?
Mori: I have a pair of those.
Of course he did.
FPB: You want a bottle smashed over your head, Axton? STOP TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND ABOUT YOUR DICK.
Me: FPB, he literally said nothing about his dick.
FPB: WRONG. He was *agreeing* with you. He’s trying to ingratiate himself. Because he’s thinking with his DICK.
I rolled my eyes.
Mori saved us by clapping his hands. “Back to the War Room, chummers!”
We headed back, and Mori was following close behind me. He tugged on one of my pigtails. I turned around to see him holding an Adderall in the palm of his hand. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure FPB wasn’t watching. He was too busy staring daggers at Axton. I snatched the pill, thanked Mori, and slipped it in my mouth.
When my turn came around, my sleaze failed, and the security subnet sent my coordinates to the mainframe. It was my first glitch of the evening, and I didn’t want to pile cocaine on top of Adderall. So I had to take a sip of an alcoholic beverage. Since I didn’t have one of my own, FPB offered me his Jack & Pepper (Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper... 90% Jack, 10% Pepper).
Me: Is anybody drinking a beer? Or something a little less potent?
Snorlax offered me a sip of his beer.
Me: You’re sure you don’t mind?
Snorlax: It’s all good. Have a sip.
FPB was fuming again.
Snorlax handed me his beer and I took a sip.
Me: Thank you.
FPB: You’re drinking after another man??? You didn’t even wipe off the mouth of the bottle first? UGH! It’s like you’re kissing him!
Snorlax started making kissy sounds at me. I made them back. Everyone laughed. Everyone but FPB, of course.
Please remember that this was in the Before Times...
I sat back down. FPB pulled me into his lap and growled, “Snorlax now? Really?”
I twisted to look him in the face and said through clenched teeth, “It was a sip of beer.”
FBP kept one long arm tightly wound around me and used his free hand to slug back loud gulps of Jack & Pepper. I dared to glance over at Axton. We locked eyes for a few seconds, but Axton abruptly whipped his head around to face Mori.
FPB roared, “WERE YOU JUST LOOKING AT MY GIRLFRIEND, FUCK-WALLET???”
Sweet Athena spoke up.
Athena: Funky. Seriously. We’re supposed to be a team. We can’t even look at each other? Mori, can we outlaw the outbursts? We’re never even gonna get past the planning phase if FPB keeps screaming at every single person who interacts with OP.”
Mori: I’m inclined to agree with you, Athena. FPB, why did you invite your girlfriend here if you didn’t want her to play our game and get to know us?
I felt FPB take a deep breath in preparation to react inappropriately to Mori’s innocuous question.
Mori was able to effectively silence him by simply lifting his hand. Dude, he was gonna have to teach me his tricks!
Mori: We’d like to be able to get to know her in peace. OP, would you like to get to know us in peace?
Me: Yes. I really would.
Mori: FPB, these outbursts have earned you a new punishment... The Lap of Luxury. Get on over here, Tall Boy.
Mori patted his lap.
FPB: Are you serious?
Mori: I am. You sit right here until I say you may rise.
FPB didn’t move.
Mori: Should you refuse, OP can come sit in my lap. (Better Mori’s lap than FPB’s.)
FPB scrambled up, sending me flying out of his lap. I gleefully lit a cigarette and made googlie eyes at Axton that were sure to go unnoticed by the incredibly incensed FPB.
FPB awkwardly folded himself into Mori’s lap, grunting and grumbling the entire time. The rest of the team was desperately trying not to laugh (which of course, made it even funnier).
Once he had settled in (as much as he could), we continued the planning phase. Athena was successful, so was Snorlax, so was Sage. But Axton glitched. This was sure to be a problem. Mori was stuck under FPB, so he was unable to “whip it out” and administer the customary punishment.
Mori: Axton, remove a piece of your armor.
Axton reached around with one hand and pulled his t-shirt off in a single fluid motion. I’m quite certain that my pupils noticeably dilated. The rest of the room “whooped” like we were at a Chip ‘n Dales show.
FPB looked like some sort of cartoon villain who had just been foiled. As he sat indignantly upon the Mori Throne, he twitched and shifted, snarling curses, teeth gritted. And then he froze. His eyes widened. He started to stand, but Mori wrapped his arms around him tightly, trapping him in the Lap of Luxury.
FPB: YOU HAVE A HARD-ON, BRO. LET ME THE FUCK GO.
I squealed with laughter. And it seemed that I had been right about Mori letting people off the hook when they were legitimately uncomfortable with the “gross-out” punishments, because Mori loosened his grip, allowing FPB stomp off to the back porch.
“OP! OP! OOOOOOOO PPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!,” FPB screamed from the porch.
Mori: OP, you’re free to go tend to his meltdown if you want to. But I’m happy to handle him if you need a break.
Me: I definitely need a break.
Mori got up to tend to the bearded ball of rage.
I heard a bit of unintelligible yelling, then the door slammed. We all looked at each other with something across between nervousness and bemusement, waiting for someone to speak. I decided to break the silence...

The pizza place is literally 2 min from my house, less than half a mile. I’m on my own with young kids tonight and really didn’t feel like dealing with car seats. I have a $10 tip on a $38 order.
This dude just drove past my house and is now about 15 minutes away in an apartment complex. Clearly multi-apping and for some reason decided to go to the further order first. And no, it’s not a stacked order. The app tells us when there are other delivers, and it routes it better than that. UE support doesn’t care unless it arrives after the latest delivery time.
Texted the driver and he just responded that he’s on his way in Spanish. No response when I asked (in Spanish) why he went the wrong way. I’m betting he hoped I couldn’t speak/read it. I don’t, but that’s also why the app has translation built in. I really, really hate lowering tips, but this one just pissed me off.
Guys, if you do take orders from other apps at the same time, remember we can see you doing it. At least put some thought in your route and don’t BS the customer.
Edit: update, getting a partial refund at least because one of the pizzas was straight up from another order. I hope whoever got mine isn’t allergic to olives 🙄

Stick with me here, I know this is a tough crowd. I see on the sub all of the time people complaining about things not working and I wonder how much of comes down to setup. I have quite a few devices in my home and I never experience the problems people have here. I have even tried exact phrases people use like "hey google set a 15 minute timer" and it just works. FYI I would normally say "Hey Google set a timer for 15 minutes." I can't seem to recreate the issues I read about on this sub. So I thought I would share my setup and maybe some people here can benefit from it.
works with google devices-When I set up a device I never give it the same name as a room. ex: 2 smart lights in the master bedroom. Left Light, Right Light, assigned to master bedroom. If I say "HG turn off the left light"-no confusion. "HG Turn off the lights" the mini(stereo pair) assigned to the master bedroom turns them off. "HG turn off the master bedroom lights" they go off doesn't matter which device responds.
Lights in the living room do not have living room in the device name. Sofa light, side table light, console table light, dining room light, kitchen light, assigned to living room (open floor plan). They all work without issue. The exception here is Livingroom TV-(Google TV Chrome Cast) no issues here. doesn't matter which device hears me, if I say "HG turn off the living room tv" it works.
Kids rooms are named after the kids. Johnny's room, Johnny's light, Johnny's display. I know this goes against what I am saying here but they work. This is an exception I guess
My basement has many devices, switches original Home speaker and a mini(gen 1).. desk light, wall lights, lantern, bedroom lights, assigned to basement. Exception Basement TV (Sony with android tv) no issues with it. Turn it up down on off. I find "HG rewind the livingroom tv 2 minutes" or pause to be one of the most helpful things I have ever had. Being able to say hey rewind 5 minutes or a specific amount is awesome IMO. (I realize "rewind" is odd for some, but again it works) Usually I leave out the name of the device and the speaker assigned to the room knows what to control.
I am thinking the more unique you make a device name the better it may work. I don't really try to cast specific shows to devices. I find it cumbersome and start it with my phone. I have done the voice training. I still use a chromecast audio that works fine with no issues. I can ask for specific music. "HG I want to listen to whatever on the Basement speaker" and it goes there. However it doesn't work on my Sony receiver with Chromecast built in. I do not use my Pixel's Hey Google Feature. It is no good when you have multiple devices in your house. So my phone assistant has to be launched. Which I don't mind because I loved active edge.
It seems to me that the google devices work best when trying to control them from another google speakehub. As I mentioned above if I ask to listen to something on the garage speaker it goes there. Meaning: if I ask any device to do something on another google device I don't really have issues.
Generally, if I leave my basement and say "HG turn off the basement" every single thing goes off every time. My 8 year old son says "HG turn on the basement" everything turns on, even the TV" He wants the lights on when he goes down there.
I realized at the end here that I do share room names with the google devices. Basement mini, basement speaker(google home), garage speaker, kitchen display and I do not have issues. But lighting devices all have unique names. Some of you may be trying harder tasks with you smart stuff. I keep my expectations low and do simple instructions. nothing out of the ordinary. Hope this may help someone out.... For you pro users go easy on me.

I'm confused on the pizza place thing. So he had an idea to open a pizza parlor but didn't have the money to invest in it so Luis paid him 250k to invest in it himself and was going to give Joe 5% of the profits and Joe wants 50%??? Just for having the idea? Also the whole thing with owing another cast members husband alot of money on a deal that was supposed to split profit and he didn't. Now I'm reading that he's stealing other contractors before and after house flipping pictures to use for his own business? He sounds pretty crooked to me.

Here's this weekend's rundown of fun events you can enjoy in Blacksburg and throughout the surrounding areas within the New River Valley. There's quite a few annual events occurring this weekend such as the Pearisburg Festival in the Park and Claytor Lake Festival if you have a caride and feel adventurous.
Weekend Rundown for June 9th - June 11th: 1. A Night To Fight Alzheimer’s with Boxing Sparring Sessions Blacksburg Boxing and Fitness, Blacksburg Friday, June 9, 2023, 6:00 - 8:00 PM Advance Tickets: $15.00, At the Door: $20.00 Enjoy live, local boxing with sparring sessions with 100% of the proceeds benefitting The Alzheimer’s Association and The Longest Day to raise money for Alzheimer's research. Please note: These are not sanctioned fights. Instead, they are USA Boxing approved Sparring sessions lead by USA Boxing Certified Coaches, amongst USA Boxing athletes, using USA Boxing Sparring rules. The intent is to put on a show, raise money for a great cause, and keep all participants safe. There will also be raffle tickets to win sweet prizes from local companies. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708170 2. 2023 Relay for Life Annual Event (Montgomery County, VA) Christiansburg Middle School, Christiansburg Friday, June 9, 2023, 6:00 - 11:00 PM Admission: Free Join Relay for Life of Montgomery County for their annual Relay for Life event. Celebrate survivors, remember those we have lost and fight back as a community to give cancer the boot. Enjoy live entertainment, children's fun, food, arts & crafts and small business vendors, silent auction, 50/50 Raffle and more. The event is free to attend, but please plan to bring payment for any food and vendors you wish to purchase from. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707517
3. 2023 Pearisburg Festival in the Park Pearisburg Community & Recreation Center, Pearisburg Friday, June 9, 2023, 6:00 - 11:00 PM and Saturday, June 10, 2023, 9:30 AM - 11:00 PM Admission: Free The Pearisburg Festival in the Park celebrates its 38th anniversary in Giles County, Virginia. Enjoy carnival rides, two days of live entertainment, food vendors with all your favorite festival foods, special activities, vendors and crafters. Festival in the Park promises to be an awesome two days of community spirit, family fun, live music, and great food. There will be rides and games for the whole family. Friday is Unlimited Wristband night and Saturday features a full day of entertainment, the Cancer Kids and Christmas Car Show & Cruise along with headliner Chris Higbee and closing with a fireworks display. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/VenueEventListing.cfm?V=542
4. Root Down in Concert Rising Silo Farm Brewery, Blacksburg Friday, June 9, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Root Down is a jazz trio based in the New River Valley area featuring musicians Justin Craig, Doug Norton and Nick Romantini. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708744
5. MLB / USA Baseball: Danville Otterbots vs. Pulaski River Turtles (Star Wars Night and Fireworks) Calfee Park, Pulaski Friday, June 9, 2023, 7:00 - 10:00 PM General Admission: $5.00, Seniors Ages 65 & Older: $1.00, Kids 6 & Under: Free Grandstand: $11.00, Reserved Seating: $12.00, Party Zone: $12.00, Club Seating: $15.00 The Pulaski River Turtles MLB / USA Baseball's Appalachian League team hosts the Danville Otterbots as they continue their 2023 season with Star Wars Night. Several characters will be on-site throughout the game to interact with fans and take photos. In addition, every Friday night game will end with a fireworks show for the fans. Tickets can be purchased at the gates on game day or online. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708693
6. Ripejive in Concert Dogtown Roadhouse, Floyd Friday, June 9, 2023, 8:00 - 11:00 PM Admission: $8.00 Ripejive is a Blacksburg, Virginia based quartet that delivers original, hard-hitting funk. From retro grooves to jazz fusion, blazing guitar and soaring saxophone color tight pocket rhythms with sounds from New Orleans to New York that always bring a party. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708066
7. Summer Tea In Honor of Lucy Lancaster's Birthday (Reservation Deadline) Lancaster House, Blacksburg Saturday, June 17, 2023, 11:00 AM and 12:30 PM Registration Deadline: Saturday, June 10, 2023 Admission: $25.00 The YMCA at Virginia Tech presents their 1st Annual Summer Tea in Honor of Lucy Lancaster's Birthday with two seatings on 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM with a reservation deadline of Saturday, June 10, 2023. Located in the beautiful, historic Lancaster House, mark Lucy Lee Lancaster’s birthday by enjoying a deliciously decadent celebration featuring tea and delicious homemade delicacies. The Tea will be catered by Carolyn Ansley, famous for her authentic and delicious teas in past years in Blacksburg. Proceeds from the Tea will directly benefit the Y Community Programs such as Meals On Main, International Programming and After School care. Deadline to purchase tickets is Saturday, June 10th. Lucy Lee lived in the Lancaster House built in 1913 by her parents William and Lucy Lee Sibold Lancaster until her death in 1989. She left the house to the YMCA at Virginia Tech. Lee was one of the first five women admitted to Virginia Tech in 1925. She majored in biology and worked in the library which was housed at that time in what had been the campus chapel. Her work in the library led to her decision to become a librarian, and she attended Columbia University Library School where she received her Masters of Library Science degree. She returned to Blacksburg and worked in the university library until her retirement in 1970. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708759
8. 2023 Native Plant Sale Price House Nature Center, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 9:30 AM - 1:30 PM Admission: Free The New River Valley Chapter of the Virginia Native Plant Society will hold its Fifth Annual Native Plant Sale. The Native Plant Sale includes perennials, trees, shrubs, ferns and more. All plants in the sale are native to Virginia and do not include cultivars. Most are pollinator friendly. The native plant sale only uses sustainable non-peat potting mix. All proceeds from the sale go to support the activities of the New River Valley Chapter, including public education and outreach, improving habitat at local parks, removing invasive species and awarding grants to area youth for native plant garden projects. In addition to the many plants for sale, there will be activities for adults and children. There will be booths where you can ask how to create a pollinator garden or which plants are exotic invasives which kill off natives which the wildlife need to survive on. Tree tubes to protect trees and shrubs from deer will also be sold. Storytime with Joelle for children begins at 12:30 PM. You can also visit the Price House Nature Center which will be open from 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM. Parking is one block away in the Blacksburg United Methodist Church. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708676
9. 2023 Claytor Lake Festival Claytor Lake State Park, Dublin Saturday, June 10, 2023, 10:00 AM - 10:00 PM Parking is $20.00 per vehicle or $15.00 with five cans of food. The Claytor Lake Festival Committee presents the 24th Annual Claytor Lake Beach Festival. The festival kicks off the summer season at Claytor Lake State Park each year. Enjoy entertainment all day, fireworks at night, arts & crafts vendors, beach access included with admission, free children's activities, youth & adult fishing tournament, wine tasting and lots more. Registration for the annual Everett Lee Yearout, Jr. Adult and Youth Fishing Tournament will be held 7:00-10:00 AM. This year the tournament theme is "Fishing is the Best Hobby Because". The Car Show voting is done by the show participants who are completely registered by 10:30 AM. All entries will receive a dash plaque, goodie bag and category winners will receive trophies. There is no pre-registration fee. The fee is $20.00 to enter the car & motorcycle show and this is the only fee you pay to enter the festival. Swimming is included with admission. The event is rain or shine. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708202
10. Procession of Appalachian Species (Giant Puppet Parade) and Biodiversity Fair Warren G. Lineberry Memorial Park, Floyd Saturday, June 10, 2023, 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM Admission: Free Springhouse presents the Procession of Appalachian Species and Biodiversity Fair with events centered around Warren G. Lineberry Memorial Park. New River Valley residents are invited to participate in a giant puppet parade celebrating our region’s biodiversity. This event, dubbed, "The Procession of Appalachian Species," will start and end at Lineberry Park in downtown Floyd, VA. Participants are encouraged to bring homemade puppets and costumes that represent one of our region’s many spectacular species. Musicians and dancers are also encouraged to bring their crafts to this event. The parade starts at 11:00 AM. If you don't have a homemade puppet or costume please come and you can puppeteer one that we have made. After the parade, join the Biodiversity Fair featuring food, music and activities from 12:00-2:00 PM. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708682
11. June 2023 Used Book Sale Montgomery Museum of Art & History, Christiansburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM Friday, June 9, 2023, 2:00 - 7:00 PM and Saturday, June 10, 2023, 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM Mass-Market Paperback Books: $0.50, Large-Format Paperbacks: $1.00, Hardback Books: $1.50, Children’s Books: $0.50-$1.00 The Montgomery Museum of Art and History will be holding a two-day Used Book Sale featuring thousands of books including children’s books, adult fiction, and non-fiction. Genres include mystery, romance, science fiction, cooking, history, crafts, religion, self-help, and much, much more. The book sale will also feature puzzles, magazines, comic books, audiobooks, CDs, and DVDs.. On Saturday, June 10th from 1:00-4:00 PM, bring your own bag for a bag sale. All books that can fit will be offered at a total of $10.00 per bag. Brown paper bags and tote bags are perfect for the bag sale. Please, no plastic trash bags. Proceeds will be used to help the museum in areas such as educational programming, collection care, and exhibit preparation. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708149
12. 2023 Two-Day Floyd Artisan Trail Annual Tour Downtown Floyd, Floyd Saturday, June 10, 2023 and Sunday, June 11, 2023, 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM Admission: Free The Floyd Center for the Arts hosts the 11th annual two-day Floyd Artisan Trail. Floyd County artisans, farms, galleries, and more will open their doors for this year’s Artisan Trail. Featuring over 30 different individuals and businesses, the Artisan Trail is a years-long tradition in Floyd to celebrate the abundant artistry available in this area. The Artisan Trail is a free to attend and invites locals and tourists alike to travel around the county to visit the open studios, see live demos, and purchase one-of-a-kind handmade art and goods in a self-guided tour across Floyd County, Virginia. The Trail happily hosts local farms and farm markets, offering tours and locally grown produce and farm goods. There may even be adorable farm animals to see. Maps and brochures with all participants’ information are available online and will be available at the Floyd Center for the Arts. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708882
13. Balance and Brews Iron Tree Brewing Company, Christiansburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 10:45 - 11:45 AM Admission: $20.00 Move through foundational yoga poses, gentle stretches, and experience the many restorative benefits that yoga has to offer. This one hour class is appropriate for all levels, including those who are totally new to yoga. The cost includes an Iron Tree beverage of your choice. No reservation required, just show up. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708760
14. Author Talk with Penny Blue Christiansburg Library, Christiansburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM Admission: Free Christiansburg Library presents an Author Talk with Penny Blue about her first book "A Time to Protest: Leadership Lessons from My Father Who Survived the Segregated South for 99 Years". Historians have written about famous names in Black History, such as: Martin Luther King, Jr., Madam CJ Walker and Booker T. Washington. Penny Blue’s dad, Charles Edwards, Sr., is not famous, but the way he lived his life made an impact on his 10 children and the community in which he lived. The stories he told his children and grandchildren are the inspiration for Blue’s book. Penny says the main theme is standing up and speaking out for what is just and right. Books will be available for purchase for $25.00 through CashApp or with cash or check only. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708891
15. Sugar Magnolia 5th Anniversary Celebration Sugar Magnolia, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 11:00 AM - 10:00 PM 25% Off Storewide, $2.00 Ice Cream Scoops Sugar Magnolia presents their 5th Anniversary Celebration at their original location in Blacksburg, VA. There will be face painting and a balloon artist in store from 12:00-2:00 PM. Guests can also enjoy: 25% off storewide all day, $2.00 ice cream scoops all day, tasting stations, raffles, gifts with purchase and more. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708741
16. Fourth Birthday Party Celebration with Music from Cinémathèque Eastern Divide Brewing, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 12:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Eastern Divide Brewing presents their Fourth Birthday Party Celebration with Music from Cinémathèque. Enjoy free ice cream and live music from 5:00-8:00 PM featuring the upbeat and unique rhythms of Cinematheque including surf rock, exotica, spaghetti westerns, Ethiopian jazz, and Afro-Beat. Eastern Divide will also have a vintage and artisan pop up market featuring Eden's Emporium, Broken Arrow Creations, Madigan Made and Tees Don't Grow on Trees. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708886
17. Music at the Villa with Parker's Pillbox Villa Appalaccia Winery, Floyd Saturday, June 10, 2023, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Relax and enjoy some great music along with great wine and food. Sprung from the western hills of Virginia, Parker's Pillbox is an on-the-rise power trio to watch. Parker's Pillbox is instantly recognizable by their unique, cohesive sound, which manages to be unto itself while drawing influences from a multitude of genres. Flavors of country, jazz, grunge, and good 'ol southern rock and roll blend together to create music which is truly an experience. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708181
18. Saturday Afternoon Music with Ball & Chain New River Vineyard & Winery, Fairlawn Saturday, June 10, 2023, 2:00 - 5:00 PM Admission: Free Join New River Vineyard & Winery on the patio for an afternoon enjoying their wine, frozen wine slushies, handcrafted beer and music from Ball & Chain. Ball & Chain is a stripped down acoustic rock duo. A girl from the mountains of Virginia and a boy from the Bronx. The regional musical influences of each coalesce into melodious tension. Passion, fun and sass pervades Jon & Lucinda’s blend of rock, R&B, and blues, resulting in vocals and harmonies that stroke your soul. Seating is first come, first served. Guests can bring a blanket and chair. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708884
19. Arc in the Park 2023 Nellie's Cave Park, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 3:00 - 6:00 PM Admission: Free Enjoy the free food including an all-you-can-eat hot dog bar and pulled pork barbecue, outdoor field games, face painting, entertainment, snow cones and friendships. The Gift Card Raffle will help raise funds for the organization. Prizes include gift cards from Avellinos, PKs, The Maroon Door, Zeppoli’s, In Balance Yoga, The Cellar, The Lyric and lots more. Tickets are $5.00 each and can be purchased online or in person at the event. The prize drawing will be held at the event at 5:00 PM. Participants do not have to be there in person to win. The event is handicap accessible. The Arc promotes and protects the human rights of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and actively supports their full inclusion and participation in the community throughout their lifetimes. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708881
20. Rockin' Main Street Concert Series with Travis Reigh and The Jared Stout Band Downtown Christiansburg, Christiansburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 5:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free The Town of Christiansburg and the Christiansburg Parks & Rec continues their Rockin' Main Street Concert Series featuring music from The Jared Stout Band and Travis Reigh. Attendees can purchase food and drinks from a selection of food trucks and wine and beer vendors. Patrons are encouraged to bring lawn chairs to sit and enjoy the live performances. Travis Reigh is a singer-songwriter born and raised out of Southwest Virginia, bringing you original material with rock roots and a country sound that you don't want to miss. Get ready to experience the high-octane energy and soulful sound of the Jared Stout Band! This alt-country powerhouse hails from Southwestern Virginia and is known for their unique blend of Appalachian rhythm and blues. As runners-up for the "On-The-Rise" award at FloydFest 22, the Jared Stout Band delivers an unforgettable performance by bringing their own energetic and soulful original songs to the stage. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707447
21. Mount Tabor Ruritan Club June Fish Fry with The Blacksburg Community Band Slusser's Chapel Church of God, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 5:00 - 7:00 PM Adults: $12.00 Children Ages 3-11: $6.00 Children Under 3: Free Carry-Outs: $12.00 The Mount Tabor Ruritan Club presents their June Fish Fry with the Blacksburg Community Band performing. Enjoy a serving fish, fries, slaw, homemade desserts and beverage. The Blacksburg Community Band, Inc. is an all-volunteer community organization formed in 1989 under the auspices of the Department of Parks and Recreation in the Town of Blacksburg, Virginia. This is a fundraiser for the Ruritan Club's community service projects and scholarships. Held rain or shine under the picnic shelter below the lower church parking lot. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708078
22. 2023 Music on the Lawn Concert Series with Virginia Hollow Christiansburg Library, Christiansburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 6:00 - 7:30 PM Admission: Free Virginia Hollow is a mixture of Americana, Bluegrass, Country, Indie, and Rock. A singer-songwriter band that performs songs written by lead singer Carrie Hinkley, along with an occasional handpicked cover or two. Virginia Hollow is a band and a sound born from the hills, valleys and mountains of Appalachia. Their performances and music take you on a journey fraught with raw emotions and stories of love, trust, betrayal and longing. Each month, one talented local band will play a concert on the library's lawn after hours. Bring your lawn chairs and blankets for an evening under the stars. Feel free to bring a picnic as well. This concert is rain or shine. In case of rain, the concert will be moved inside. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707890
23. Slushie Saturday with Music from Furious Jones Moon Hollow Brewing, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Moon Hollow Brewing presents their first Slushie Saturday with Music from Furious Jones. This Summer every Saturday is now Slushie Saturday at Moon Hollow. This Saturday will have two slushies available one made with Ebb & Flow Prickly Pear and one non-alcoholic slushie, Prickly Pear Raspberry flavored. Singer and songwriter Furious Jones will perform a live acoustic solo show featuring Americana, Blues, Folk, and Rock with both originals and extensive covers. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708719
24. Mist on the Mountain in Concert Rising Silo Farm Brewery, Blacksburg Saturday, June 10, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Mist on the Mountain is an Irish Traditional Music group based in the New River Valley of southwest Virginia. From lively jigs and reels to heartbreaking laments and rollicking ballads. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708745
25. Dean Trimble in Concert Long Way Brewing, Radford Saturday, June 10, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Dean Trimble is a musician playing 70s and 80s classic soft rock and classic country and he is based in the New River Valley. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708860
26. Cary Wimbish Band in Concert Brick House Pizza, Radford Saturday, June 10, 2023, 7:00 - 10:00 PM Admission: Free The Cary Wimbish Band makes its debut performance at Brick House Pizza. Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, Cary Wimbish has quickly earned a loyal following in the Richmond area since his debut in 2018. Combining powerful vocals with both acoustic and electric guitar, Cary’s repertoire includes covers of well known traditional country, bluegrass, classic rock and blues songs. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708866
27. June Blacksburg Vintage Market Market Square Park, Blacksburg Sunday, June 11, 2023, 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM Admission: Free The Blacksburg Vintage Market hosts their June Vintage Market. Vendors will be selling all things vintage from clothes, jewelry, vinyl records, and more. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708681
28. Sunday Mountain Music Series with Indian Run Stringband Mountain Lake Lodge, Pembroke Sunday, June 11, 2023, 4:00 - 6:00 PM Admission: Free The Indian Run Stringband plays fiddle and banjo foot stomping dance tunes and sings traditional songs with old time harmonies perfect for dancing the two step. From dance tunes to the blues, the Indian Run Stringband plays with love and abandon. They make old-time music fresh and new. Stop by Salt Pond Pub every Sunday starting Memorial Day weekend through August for live music and delicious food & drinks. Perfect for relaxing with the whole family (furry friends welcome too). Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708136
29. Gearheads For A Cause for Ashley Ray Blue Ridge Church, Christiansburg Sunday, June 11, 2023, 5:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Gearheads For A Cause is hosting a special cruise in in memory of Ashley Ray of Dublin, VA that was took from this world at the young age of 25. Ashley was a amazing mother of two sons and always happy and outgoing. The money raised will be for Ashley's family to help with her two boys and the family's needs. Vehicles of all type are invited to attend as well as spectators. Admission and entry are free. There will be a raffle, cake walk and vendors on site. Gearheads For a Cause hosts car shows to help raise spirits given all our community has undergone and bring together an otherwise separated community. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708892
30. Freddy Modad in Concert Palisades Restaurant, Eggleston Sunday, June 11, 2023, 5:00 - 7:30 PM Admission: Free Guitarist Freddie Modad performs classic rock and more. Reservations are not required, but recommended for dining area seating. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708893
31. MLB / USA Baseball: Burlington Sock Puppets vs. Pulaski River Turtles (Saddle-Up Sunday) Calfee Park, Pulaski Sunday, June 11, 2023, 7:00 - 10:00 PM General Admission: $5.00, Seniors Ages 65 & Older: $1.00, Kids 6 & Under: Free Grandstand: $11.00, Reserved Seating: $12.00, Party Zone: $12.00, Club Seating: $15.00 The Pulaski River Turtles MLB / USA Baseball's Appalachian League team hosts the Burlington Sock Puppets as they continue their 2023 season. Saddle-Up Sunday returns. Arrive early for free cowboy hat giveaways while supplies last and take a ride on the buckin’ mechanical bull. Rides are free of charge. It's also Sunday Savings featuring concession specials. Tickets can be purchased online or at the gate. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708695
Have a great weekend and thanks for reading!

Wild & Free RP
We are a group of dedicated Roleplayers looking to create some awesome stories and fun times.
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EMS/Doctor

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As the title suggests, I wanna go to the store. Over the past month, my family and I have been eating fast food or have been eating out at restaurants(sometimes the restaurants are a huge letdown). And also over the pas month, I want to go to the store. I’ve asked my parents could we go the store, but they’ve asked what I want. And I just completely don’t know what I want, all I know is that I just want stuff that can make home cooked foods. And I love food that you can make in an air fryer or a microwave(like Tostino’s pizza) and we desperately need breakfast.
I just want to go to the store to look at food that we can get that we can stock in our house.

Forgive me, I am going to rant and scream into the void while I deal with my guilt and frustration. I don't care if this gets taken down, burned or deleted. I NEED TO RANT AND SHOUT. I know I am a bootyhole for exploding. But her behavior lately made me lash out and I am not proud of it. I just need to get this out and I want her to see just how ducked up she is.
No she will never find this because 1. She hates reddit cuz it's all "Fake". 2. She doesn't like social media drama posts or readings - whatever people who read reddit drammas are called. Redditoperas!
This is the only Reddit thing I like and have ever joint or posted to.
Alright. Deep breath.
I Susan (29F) have a cousin Georgette (27F all names are changed) and I absolutely love her, she is practically my little sister, we grew up together and we literally live in the same area (I can walk to her apartment complex by walking through a shared public park) and we interact with eachother constantly. And she emotionally Dumps on me. CONSTNTLY.
She is the female embodiment of lost potential, entitled and lazy spoilt brat. She is smart but so very dumb and lazy. Now mind you she wasn't always like this. In fact when we were in highschool she was the complete opposite. Hardworking, determined, popular with people. It feels as if she peaked did a 180 and then came crashing down the second she turned 21 and had to deal with the real adult world.
This saturday while we were doing our usual dinner and fun night with our friend group which includes my husband Dansen (30M), my cousins Georgette and her older bother Jerry (32M), and two other dudes Kramer (30M) and Elliot (30M) (6 in total).
We all grew up together, went to the same schools and such and funny enough we all still live in the same neighborhood/area but in different appartment complexes and townhomes. That night we were at my Townhome. The men in our group were watching Seinfeld (this is important) and eating pizza, while Georgette and I got into the conversation of her weekly woes. She was complaining loudly and kept interrupting everytime I tried to speak.
Now mind you I am not a patient person, however with Georgette I usually bottle my opinions on her woes and keep my mouth shut, because 1. I don't want to offend her and 2. She is family. I'm not her mom to be telling her what to do, I know.
Despite the rant coming up, she is family, we've been through thick and thin, and I know I'm an arse for blowing up at her and ranting about her life. But something about this week, the stress, her attitude and I-don't-know-what-else-made-me-blow-up. Maybe I was overstimulated because it was loud and I was tired, maybe I just needed to unload on something, I don't know but this is what happened.
In the middle of Goergette complaining about how people look down on her, "the poor nerd" and "The little guy", her parents, her relationships, I snapped. It felt like a tea kettle building up steam until it shouts. So of course I shouted "Will you just Shut up?! I don't want to hear you complaining about your life right now, literally all the problems in your life are your own damn fault! You are just an incompetent loser of a child who thinks the world owes her something because "reasons!" First of all - "
I basically pointed out, complaint by complaint in a rant on how everything is her own fault. Forgive the paragraph of word vomit. The points here are her complaints and my thoughts on the matter, the things in parenthesis are things that I shouted in the middle of my ranting. Yes it was recorded. No I'm not sharing. I'm just writing what I said and screaming into a void.

1. She is sad and lonely because she's single after a 2 year relationship and she misses her ex, terribly. (First of all, that is YOUR fault. GIRL you literally broke up with your boyfriend because YOU, yes, YOU wanted to save face. Becase YOU are so insecure you thought his own sister was a random girl who was trying to "steal" him away from you. That "Oh he likes that ugly girl who is prettier than me, look at the way he hugs her" and "who does he think he is" and that he "looks down on me cuz I'm short and brown". He doesn't by the way, he was willing to stay with you despite all your faults, he genuinly liked you and you dumped him because you cant stand being wrong, but noooooo "he's so booooring. commitment is so boooring, i can't do anything wah wah. You kept being weird with your sister!" and now all of a sudden 2 weeks after breaking up, now that hes gone he's suuuuddenly the "lOvE oF mY LiFe" and the "oNe tHaT gOt aWay! I mEssEd Up sO bAd!! WAH!" baby girl, whose fault is that? You left him! That was your own Damn Fault!! Who the hell wants to date a girl let alone be in a relationship with someone that dumb?)
2. How no men will date her and how all men are trash. ( No one wants you because you are trash! Your attitude is trash! Your personality is trash! Men can't handle me because "I'm a 10", girl you aint a 10. You are an arrogant insecure egotistical maniac who thinks shes a 10 when in reality you're a 3 at best - You literally complain that no one wants you when you literally lie and shoot yourself in the foot. "It's because I'm a nerd!" No, it's because you are an ass, "If they don't like me at my best" is bull crap. They should love me for me, is bull crap, you are all the reasons why no one wants you and you always give way less than the other persons best. You are never at your best, your best is the worst possible thing. You complain to your partner "I'm extroverted I need attention and sunlight" but then when they want to take you out you whine that you wanna stay home and order take out. What the hell is your idea of a good time? Eating nachos in your underwear while watching Bridgerton? Whining about how other people are fake for posting their vacations on facebook? You want people to see that you are "successful" online but then bitch when people know that you are a actually a shut in with bad money. You tell people you are a teacher with a princeton diploma to impress them and then whenthat bites you in the ass, you are too embarrased to admit you are an in debt college dr out part time worker influencer wannabe who still lives with her Mommy and Daddy. So then you start blame to make yourself feel better. You feel entitled to everything because you blame everything. Blame, blame, blame. I can start a whole communist party parade with all the red flags you have. It's not like your the problem, it's not like you make your own problems, you are absolutely perfect and fine just the way you are! The world owes you something because you are Georgette Middlename NolastName. The perfect princess! You're not. You're just a spoilt brat who gets a scott free ride because your parents are too afraid to admit they are failures who didn't raise you right. You don't deserve the amount of praise people give you.)
3. How she can't lose weight even though she is "trying". No she is not trying, she weighs 375lbs and is gaining more weight. (Whos god damn fault is thaAAAAAAAAAT?? Not that there is anything wrong with being plus sized or overweight - Shit who am I to talk, I'm plus sized. Although my BMI - Which has been proven to be BS by the way says I'm "obese" I still make an effort to be healthy! I dont care if people think I'm fat, I like my size and my body. So does my husband. At least I'm not pretending to lose weight and be healthy while shoving a chocolate cake shake in my mouth! There is a huge difference between being body positive or health concious vs someone constantly saying "I'm going to acheive this goal" without actually taking any steps to acheive that goal and making the situation worse. It's like an alcoholic saying "I'm trying to quit drinking" while they are downing tequila shots. No - Girl you aint trying. Not even close. You've been paying for an LA Fitness gym membership for over a year and you never go because you are too tired, you want to play games or do a make up totorial that you never going to post. Working out makes you sweaty and uncomfortable and doesn't " actually help you lose weight, it's all in the food". COME ON. You don't even try to eat healthy because healthy food tastes yucky and you only like good tasting things like Burgerking. Really? You pay for a food subcription that you dont eat because it's too salty, too spicy or it doesn't taste good and then buy fastfood and then complain that you don't lose weight and how your stomach hurts? GEE I wonder WHY?! YOu have Gastrointeritis and you're eating BURGERKING???)
4. How she complains she has a dead end job and how she almost got fired for sleeping at her desk and how her boss is a jerk for daring to ask her to do her job ( Well DUH, IT'S YOUR JOB! How have you not been fired yet? Your Boss caught you sleeping on the JOB! It's bad enough you dont even do it well, you say it's dead end because you are too lazy to do anything else or put in an effort. You didn't even get that job yourself dude, I got you that job as a favor to your Mom. "Oh Susie, please get a spot at your job she needs it!" Sheesh! You didn't even have to do an interview, how does that even work? It's insane that I moved on and you've been doing the same Job stupid job for 5 freaking years. You went to college and flunked out because "I want to be an entrepreneur influencer" or whatever but havent done anything productive in ALL that time. You work as a Printer and mailroom lady at a public school PART TIME. It is NOT that hard! you literally spend hours on your phone and watch netflix all day! YOU GET PAID TO SIT ON YOUR BUTT! AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING?! What is wrong with you? You literally get the summer off and you call in sick for the stupidest reasons! You literally have time to get platnum on overwatch but cant take classes or get a certificate to get a better job because it's too hard, you're tire and you have no time? Really? Maybe if you didn't play Leage until 3 in the god damn morning you wouldn't be so tired all day and appreciate how spoiled, privalaged and ungreatful you are! I would kill to have the amount of support and time you have!).
5. How she doesn't have money. ( YOU complain that you dont have the money to do any fun stuff, fix your car and pay "rent" which you never pay because NEWSFLASH you live with your mom. BUT you spend 300 dollars to do your NAILS and you're broke? You are constantly buying 50 dollar "brand name " make up and clothes for your failing influencer streams and posts, "I'm soooooo broke!!!" You buy 20 dollar character skins on Overwatch for characters you dont even play. You spend 250 a week on take out and because even though you know how to cook and pay for a food subcription, all that food tastes yucky or you don't want to use your moms kitchen cuz she complains when you dont clean up. And you have the audacity to complain? To ask me to buy you stuff and spot you? Like seriously? Aren't you "saving" to move out? You contstantly tell us and brag about how you're moving out and going to be a successful small business owner, but then you spend a bajillion on stupid shit. I know you're getting that money from somewhere and you are in debt. But hot cock on a rock, you are financially and literally irresponsible and you can't see it because either you are an idiot or you know it and think it will just go away. It wont.)
6. How the button on her shorts broke and how dumb it is that she spent so much money on a "BRAND" name item only for the button to break because it is cheaply made. (BRUH YOU BOUGHT IT OFF SHEIN!!! That crap aint Chanel! That stuff isn't Gucci or some other stupid bougee brand! No wonder it sucks and comes apart after two washes! The only reason you bought it is because some rando told you to buy it on TikTok and "iT wAs A DeAl!!" You get that crap a size too small and then are surprised when the seams rip! Gee! I wonder why miss "I'm working out!" )
7. How her Instagram/TikTok and Twitch have barely any views and her Influencer life style is not working out. (BRUH you don't post anything of value, it's a saturated market and when you do post, you don't make an effort to edit or even post or stream at a time that people are willing to watch you. you play obscure games that no one knows about or games that are overplayed by better streamers and influencers. You do make up tutorials, without actually knowing or researching explaining what you are doing or putting on your face. No wonder no one watches you. You obviously arent even trying. You are not going to go viral or make it up there if you are not willing to actually try to do something of value. People are not going to just watch you because you are a girl and have tits.)
8. Her parents being unsupportive. (Your Parents aren't supportive? HOW? you're 27 and living with your parents. Those two idiots love the absolute shit out of you and you don't even know it. You get free housing. They paid for your college and they paid for your car. You don't even pay utilities. They pay for your phone. How are they not supporting you? They even brag about how "our princess is an influencer" and act so proud when you can't keep any followers, keep a man, pass a class or get a decent job. How are they not supporting you?)
9. How she is the victim in life and she is so unlucky. This was the last complaint that made me snap and start this whole tirade. ( You are all the things that are wrong with you and you cause all the problems in your life. You are the girl who peaked in highschool and just thought the rest of the world would cater to you. I don't know how, but your ass is going to be handed to you one day and I'm not going to be there to help you. You have no one to blame but yourself. You are extremely lucky and you don't even know it. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying all this shit but I am so tired of listening to you complain and act as if nothing in your life has ever been your fault. You are the problem. And I don't think I can handle being around you right now.)

Now before I continue, let me just say. I have nothing against Jason Alexander. Hes a great actor who is severely underrated but I absolutely hate his character from that show. From the whining to the tantrums and relationship problems. I despise George Constanza.
And Georgette is exactly like him and HOLY ITALIAN CANOLI. I can only take so much. In mannerisms, attitude, and sircumstance. She is the female George. Maybe that's why I blew up like that. Who knows. Anyway....
Then it happened.
This entire ordeal felt like watching a car crash -you know how everything will end up, but you cant do anything but watch as the disaster happens and either cringe or look in awe.
At the end of my rant, when the room is quiet and all you can hear is the TV and the sitcom laughter, my Cousin, Georgettes older brother Jerry -bless his stupid heart- suddenly started laughing and said that I was right about it all, Georgette created her own problems and always had an excuse FOR EVERYTHING, of course, we all start arguing. She gives more excuses. We argue some more. There is name calling. And we start taking sides, in the middle of our arguing Georgette screams, Loud and says... "NO NO! Its not my fault! I'm the victem here!! You're just being mean!! ... I'm getting upset!! AHHH!!!" while flailing her arms and stomping her feet like a toddler. And of course there was a pause.
In that second the mentioned character from the show, which was still playing on the TV, shouted loudly "George is getting upset!! AHHHHH!!!" que the bass playing.
Everyone lost it.
The boys of course all started laughing, I started laughing. Georgette not amused starts shouting how it's not funny. "I'm the victem here!" Starts crying and tells us all to "Go to hell." Then runs out the door, fumbles, trips, gets up and shuffles way towards the park and to her Parents apartment gesticulating and yelling the entire way.
I feel bad, but at the same time it feels good to have let all that out.
Even now I feel releif writing this out. I don't care. I'm so done with this life.
Her mom, Estelle, of couse called me and I let everything out on her too - In the end she got quiet and just hung up.
I feel like Quagmire at the end of his "why I don't like you Brian" speech. I said my peace. I know I'm an ass and I think I'm ok with not dealing with my cousin any more.
I don't think I've even cared about her.
I don't think I even want to see her right now. Or ever.
I love her. But do I actually love her or is it because she's always been here and shes family? Have I always been carrying this? I don't know. Maybe I want people to know how I really feel and am hoping this reaches her in some way as a cathartic fuck you. I don't know. I'll talk to a therapist about that on Monday.
Babydoll, if you see this. Get your Shit Together. I'm done. I don't regret doing this. I hope you get better and succeed. I really do. But I Love you and I hate you. I hate that you do nothing to improve yourself and I hate that I'm your Emotional Support Animal. I'm not responsible for you. And it's not my fault that you feel shitty. We may be family, but that doesn't give you the right to make me feel shitty and for your to invide my home with your constant complaining. I'm not a sith. I can't live with negativity and darkness for all my life. You need to be better. And I hope one day we both can be better. But for now. Good Bye.
I'm Done.
If you've made it this far or if this still exists by the time anyone gets to this paragraph, congratulations for letting me scream into the reddit void for 300 hours.
Peace.

VA – Ibiza Beach House PSR101B
GENRE House, Funky House, Nu Disco / Disco, Jackin House, Tech House, Dance / Electro Pop

1. Mayami – Don’t Kill My Vibe (Qubiko Remix) 06:03 126bpm Am
2. Maximusz – See Yourself in My Eyes (Original Mix) 03:21 126bpm Am
3. Garrett & Ojelay – Love You Better (Remaster 2020) 05:39 126bpm G
4. Sante Cruze – Your Eyes (Sylvan Star Remix) 05:43 120bpm Fm
5. Crazibiza, Jazzy X – Bandie Bandie (Cheesecake Boys Remix) 04:46 124bpm A#
6. Cheesecake Boys – Teeny Weeny (Crazibiza Edit) 04:58 124bpm Dm
7. House of Prayers – Shady Lady (Body & Soul Mix) 04:54 120bpm Bb
8. Crazibiza – Roller Disco (Original Mix) 04:46 123bpm Gm
9. Crazibiza – Wackass (Original Mix) 05:32 124bpm Ebm
10. Kevin Prise, Crazibiza – Reach Out (Club Mix) 06:07 128bpm Dm
11. Crazibiza – Take It High (Original Mix) 04:44 125bpm Am
12. Crazibiza, Cheesecake Boys – Our House (Original Mix) 05:14 125bpm Bb
13. Nari, Crazibiza – Capri (Summer Mix) 04:48 123bpm Dm
14. Mike Newman, Antoine Cortez – Macoosa (Original Mix) 04:51 122bpm Gbm
15. Viky (IT) – Baby Work It (Original Mix) 04:32 127bpm Cm
16. Fast Trak – Hooked (Original Mix) 05:47 123bpm Gm
17. Hiva – Deep Snap (Original Mix) 05:40 124bpm Bbm
18. House of Prayers – We Are Lover (Original Mix) 04:56 123bpm Fm
19. Crazibiza – Cali Soul (Tommyboy Remix) 05:48 122bpm Bbm
20. Johnny Stayer – Uhh Ohh (Radio Mix) 03:39 124bpm Bm
21. John Modena, Crazibiza – Jamma (Radio Mix) 02:42 123bpm Em
22. Supersavage – I Gotta Know (Original Mix) 05:30 125bpm Dm
23. Crazibiza – Fresh (Frank Caro, Alemany Remix) 05:16 124bpm D
24. Paggi & Costanzi – Thousand Kisses (Original Mix) 05:57 120bpm Bm
25. Crazibiza, House of Prayers – Around You (Extended Mix) 05:04 123bpm Gbm
26. House of Prayers – Hold On (Original Mix) 04:46 124bpm A#m
27. 2Lovers – It’s Like That (Alternate Radio Mix) 03:25 126bpm Gm
28. Crazibiza – Let the Music Play (Original Mix) 04:44 125bpm D
29. Benjammin, Secret Guest – All Night Long (Original Mix) 04:44 125bpm Ab
30. Luca Bisori – Don’t Fall (Original Mix) 06:09 120bpm F
31. Crazibiza, House of Prayers – Around You (Radio Mix) 02:47 123bpm Gbm
32. Crazibiza, Cheesecake Boys – Move Yourself (Original Mix) 05:02 124bpm Am
33. Crazibiza – Satisfy (Mirko & Meex Remix) 05:43 124bpm Bm
34. Crazibiza – Desert Storm (Vasco C Remix) 06:08 123bpm Am

https://minimalfreaks.co/2023/06/beatport-best-new-tech-house-may-2023-part-2/
Alems - New School 07:01
Ben Finx, Sunday Noise - Bandidaje 05:22 Gm
David Cueto (ES), Maty Badini, LeoK - A Darle 05:25m
David Cueto (ES), Maty Badini, LeoK - Boombastik 05:41 F
David Cueto (ES), Maty Badini, LeoK - Forget That Thing 06:24
Diego Valle, Prince.L - Back In 05:45
Discover (BR) - This Is All Crazy 05:35
Geroi - New School 06:49
James Haskell - Check It Out (Extended Mix) 06:10
James Indigo, Des & Del - Ascend 04:56 Cm
Javi Colina - Resist And Fight 06:32 Am
Jay Crusoe - No Mas Pelea 05:15
Jay Robinson - Stinkin' 04:25 Fm
Jayden Goldthorpe - It Poppin 05:25 Gm
Jeff Sá - One, Two, Three 04:00
Jen Payne, Kastelo, Aaron Pfeiffer - Black & Yellow (Extended Mix) 05:21m
Jholeyson - Teloon 06:18b
JNZO - Batidora 06:08
Johnny Stayer - Borneo 05:40 Gbm
Joshua Riveros - Sahumado 06:33m
Joshua Riveros - Tuneado (feat. V.E.R.D.E) 07:07m
Joshua Riveros - Viajado 07:14bm
Joy Marquez, Zeuqram - Los Caminos 05:43 Dm
Joyce (ARG) - Legend 06:20m
Joyce (ARG) - Love Vibration 06:18 B
Joyce (ARG) - Promises (Caoak Remix) 06:39 Ebm
Joyce (ARG) - Promises 07:05 Eb
JTJ - Fill Me Up 06:03m
JTJ, Kyle Zuck - Same Damn Mistakes 05:06b
JTJ, Kyle Zuck - There's a Glitch 05:37 C
Juan Camilo - Cocktail 06:00
Juan Lara, Zicario - Everyone 05:34bm
JUANHER - Mi Arte (Falete Brown Remix) 06:07bm
JUANHER - Mi Arte 05:40
Junior Jack, Juliet Sikora, Flo MRZDK - Thrill Me (Extended Mix) 06:02
Junior Legh - Rastaman 06:36m
Junior Pappa - Come To Bed (Agent Greg Remix) 06:39 Bbm
Junior Pappa - Come To Bed 06:06 Gbm
Junior Souza - For Me 05:54 Bbm
Junior Souza - Happy Now 05:54 Em
Junior Souza, feat. Nt Dogg - Tropa 05:54 D
Kadosh, MAZZO BR - Lover 05:07
Kadosh, MAZZO BR - Make 05:00 B
Karim Soliman - Nuttin Nuh Go So (Extended Mix) 06:36 F
Karretero, Gustaff - Just One 06:07 F
Karretero, Gustaff - Pire 05:55 Gbm
KeeQ - Such A Loneliness (Extended Mix) 07:16 D
Kenny Brian - La Cinturita 05:09
Kess - Bam 05:00bm
Kess - Bam (Swylled Remix) 04:24b
Kevin Vaya - Tika Taki 06:15bm
Khonsu The Child - Keep 'Em Coming 05:07m
Kideko - Bring The Noise (Extended Mix) 05:33
Kim Kaos - Go With It 04:44
Kitone - Soy Candela (Extended Mix) 03:52m
Knober - Analog Stories 06:04 Ebm
KPD - Don't Lie (Extended Mix) 05:49 Gb
KPD - Thankful (Extended Mxi) 07:03b
KPD - Worth It (Extended Mix) 05:48
Kugmas - OCD 06:01
Kuller, HAWK. - Rock The Party 03:04 Cm
Leandro Kolt - Baby baby 04:55b
Leiru (USA) - Digi Digi 05:37m
LeoK - Sucutu (Extended Mix) 05:52m
Lexa Hill - Diri 05:42 Am
Litchy & Smiley - Feel Myself 06:01 F
Litchy & Smiley - Take It Back 05:31
Loco Dice, VLTRA (IT), Francis De Simone - Flowcito (Loco Dice Remix) 06:04 Bm
Loco Dice, VLTRA (IT), Francis De Simone - Flowcito 06:30 Bm
LondonBridge, Nate Katz - Terrified (feat. LondonBridge) (Extended Mix) 06:10 Gbm
Loopez (ES) - Blow Up 06:22
Loopez (ES) - Ella Es Loca 06:20 Gbm
Loopez (ES) - Pull Up 06:08m
LouLou Players - Feeling (D-Rivera Remix) 06:27 Gbm
LouLou Players - Feeling (FeelGood, Jane Kovitz Remix) 05:07
LouLou Players - Feeling 05:05 Bb
LOVRA - Do What You Do 06:07m
LOVRA - Sonic 05:15 Gb
LOVRA - The House of House 06:31
Lucas Rosselli - Feel My Heart (Extended Mix) 05:06
Lucas Rosselli - Go Ladys! (Extended Mix) 05:12
Luigi Rocca, Anis hachemi - Hypertribe 06:36 Eb
M LUCA - MANDINGA 03:52 D
Maffei - Run The World 06:13 C
Majestic, Sara Sukkha - Dance All Night feat. Sara Sukkha (Extended Mix) 04:42m
Manda Moor - Picante 05:44 Abm
Manda Moor - Picante (Sirus Hood Remix) 05:55 Cm
Manda Moor - Tabasko 04:44 65bpm Gm
Marc Volt - Tribulations (Extended Mix) 05:07 Ebm
Marco Biondo - Aphrodite (Extended Mix) 06:13m
Marco C., Elle-T - Back To The Future 05:45
Marco C., Elle-T - Baila 07:15b
Marco C., Elle-T - Whatcha Doin' 06:30m
Marco Corvino - La Mayoria 05:42bm
Margad, GRHHH, Booty Leak - Not So Bad 03:08b
Markus Martinez - DunDun (Extended Mix) 03:46
Mars Crafted - Broken 06:56 F
Mars Crafted - Feel the Funk 05:28m
Martin Acevedo - Baila 06:54 Bm
Martin Acevedo - Ready 06:54 Am
Martin Acevedo - Subete 06:54 Bbm
Martin Occo - Hide & Seek 06:09m
Martin Occo - No More Lies 06:05m
MartinoResi - Give It To Me 06:40 G
Massimo Conte - My Nature 05:52
Massivedrum, Diego Miranda, Mr. Pig - Ella Quiere 04:58m
Matroda - Throw Your Hands 04:34
Matteo Dentone - Chico (Extended Mix) 05:33
Matteo Dentone - Equador (Extended Mix) 05:45m