Cold hands warm heart full saying

Hi everyone.
To Kill a Predator is a work of fan fiction set in the Nature of Predators universe originally created by SpacePaladin15 whose Patreon you should subscribe to.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Depiction does not equal endorsement.
Hope you enjoy it!
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Memory transcription subject: Martin Russo, Human Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: January 10th, 2137
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Without the girls, life settles into a boring rut. I talk to them as much as I can on the pad, but they’re busy on Earth, hitting the ground running.
There’s been a lot of ground to cover before they’re caught up to where everyone else will be, particularly for Vilek. She’s often had to pull double-claws of studying, working her fluffy ass off to gain a baseline understanding of psychology in record time. Thiva’s classes on VP by contrast have prepared her well for humanity’s relatively simple technology.
That, and they’ve had to get used to Earth. Earth food, Earth culture, and a planet full of omnivores with forward-facing eyes. I’ve been doing what little I can to help coach and encourage them.
For my own part I’ve been restless. Given that I’m not able to look for a job yet, that physical therapy kicks my ass every other paw, and that I’ve got nothing to do other than look forward to a half-hour of chatting with my friends… I’ve started up on software again. It’s something I can do even while laying prone. Particularly since I have a way to write without using my hands.
What do I do with that, anyway? I can read minds. I can even use the raw data from a full brain scan to extract memories. There’s got to be something useful to do with this. It’s practically the only part of this entire debacle I haven’t bothered telling the UN about.
Honestly after what I’ve been through, I can’t imagine trusting them, or the Venlil government, with this. Bastards would be prosecuting thought-crime by the end of the week.
​
Jarkim’s opened his business a couple of weeks back. Without an actual office, since he plans to simply operate out of Slavik’s farm. As I understand they tolerate it as long as he also helps out in return for food and board. I hope the arrangement works out for the both of them.
I gave Jarkim some help with his online presence. He wasn’t initially sure about the black and white picture of him in a fedora and a tie, or about the business name “Jarkim Krakotl, Private Eye”. But as soon as humans heard about Venlil Prime’s only Krakotl detective they’ve ended up coming to him with their problems.
He sent me a picture of his first solved case, some runaway kid who got lost and reunited with her mother. He was still wearing the hat. No tie, though.
​
Today is my paw off from Chasa’s torments, and it coincides with the launch of another exciting new business venture. So I take the time to visit Mosun.
“Hey Martin! Hold on a minute!” I see the Yotul wrangling a bunch of foam mats around the large, empty room. And its wall-length mirror. Fittingly the place look like the midway point between a dance studio and a martial arts dojo, except for the soft and spongy floor. It’s meant to safeguard against falls.
I glance around the room while he huffs and plops the last few ones down. There’s perhaps thirty-five or forty foam mats scattered on the floor. “So are you being optimistic, or did you get a good reception?”
He looks at me, bouncing with excitement. Though his ears signal a bit of nervousness. “Five Yotul have signed up so far! That’s almost half the Yotul in the entire town! And almost twenty humans! Hanya’s bringing a couple of Gojid friends too, and we’ve got a few Venlil coming along with their humans… Oh, and an Iftali, that was a surprise. Honestly I may be a little in over my head here; I’ve never taught crowds before! I’m not even sure how much will translate across species!”
“So you’ll be learning on the job. I have complete faith in you. Are the Exterminators going to give you any trouble?”
He barks a laugh. “Hah! No, Jarkim had a talk with the magister. I got permission from Vaska’s office to teach the classes in the name of cultural preservation, so those motherfuckers can’t touch me!”
I laugh as well. “You might need to censor your language a bit as a teacher.”
“Combat Dancing is about honesty and expression, Martin. If I can’t live it, how am I supposed to teach it?”
Well, he got me there. “Anything I can do to help?”
He glances at me, his voice gets a little uncomfortable. “Um, I don’t know. Can you carry heavy stuff right now?”
I shrug. “Probably not, no.”
“Then I’ll be fine. You’re not interested in taking the class?”
​
“I think my dancing days are over, for the foreseeable future.” I wryly lift my cane and wave it as a small reminder. It’s wood, and I’m quite fond of it. Chasa found a Venlil craftsman who wanted to be the first to make one for a human, and he made it out of the wood of some kind of tree called Lampan. The color reminds me of mahogany.
His ears droop a bit. “Ah yeah. How permanent is that looking?”
I shrug. “Finger dexterity on the right hand’s likely never going to be the same, but I’ll be able to play video games. Left arm should recover enough for daily use. Leg should get a full range of motion, but I won’t be going jogging. Thankfully I look dignified with a cane.”
He wags his tail teasingly and cocks his head as he regards me. “Do you? …Must be a human thing.”
“Piss off. Mind if I sit in on the class?”
“Of course not!”
Turns out first class of Yotul Combat Dancing is a quick demonstration, and then Mosun talking to the quite large and varied crowd. He talks about the history and cultural significance of Combat Dances to the Yotul, the philosophical underpinnings of the artform, and the mentality to be cultivated in practitioners.
Everyone is listening with rapt attention, and a few of the humans are even taking notes. When he opens the floor for questions, a Venlil asks “Isn’t this an expression of Predator Disease?”
To which Mosun answers “No. Next question?”
Which is honestly as much of a response as that warrants.
I talk with Hanya briefly after the class. She says that she’s been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that human therapy is helping her out. She even talks excitedly about piloting shuttles again, someday soon. I’m glad for her.
​
Once I get back to the house, there’s a man in a suit waiting for me. He’s tall, bald, and has very dark skin. I don’t recognize him. He extends his hand toward me, and I shake it. He speaks English with an African accent, instead of letting the translator handle it. I’d guess western Africa, but I’m hardly an expert. “Bamidele Adeyemi.”
“Martin Russo. Can I help you?”
He indicates the door. “May I come in?”
“Sure. My Venlil hosts aren’t home right now.”
“Of course.”
Once he’s been let in, and I’ve given him something to drink, I wait patiently for him to explain his presence.
“I am the UN liason to the district magister’s office.”
I keep my tone neutral and politely curious. “What happened to Robert McGinley?”
He keeps his tone neutral too, but friendly. He smiles at me. “It was decided that he should be replaced.”
Oh no. Anyway. “Alright. But… No offense mister Adeyemi, but why are you here?”
​
He takes out a pad. “I have some documents that the UN and the District Magister would like you to sign.”
I sigh inwardly and make a quite heroic effort to not sigh outwardly. I look at the pad briefly anyway. As I expected, it’s about making myself legally liable should I speak up about what I’ve gone through. “I’m afraid you are wasting your time. McGinley told me to sign papers like this too, and I told him ‘no’.”
He nods, entirely unsurprised. “I understand you signed similar documents over a smaller… altercation with the Exterminators. Why the difference of response, if I may ask?”
“Because the first time he threatened to have me thrown out of the refugee center if I didn’t.”
Bamidele’s eyes widen briefly. “I see. That does explain why you told him to ‘fuck off’.”
“Yes.” I pause briefly. “…You’ve been polite enough that I don’t want to use the same language. But.”
He laughs briefly. “Haha, yes, I understand. Different circumstances, yes? My predecessor tried the stick. I am here to try the carrot. So tell me, mister Russo, what will it take for you to sign?”
“There’s nothing that…” I pause.
I sit down. I’m briefly quiet. I miss my friends so goddamn much. I swallow, mouth feeling dry as I tentatively reach for the proffered lifeline. “I… hear Sweden’s lovely this time of year.”
He flashes his teeth at me in a broad smile and chuckles pleasantly. “Hehe, I thought you might say that. But… You do realize it is January?”
​
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 12th, 2137
​
The thought of leaving this wretched planet and its wretched food and its wretched government and its wretched ever-present sun makes me feel like I’m already back in Earth’s lighter gravity.
I ended up paying Chasa back for all the pain and suffering she inflicted on me: The largest gift basket I could find online, filled with fruits, candies, and preserves of both Zurulian and human origin.
When I wake up at the start of the paw, my arch-nemesis has sent me two pictures. The first one is a schedule to keep for the next couple of months. In the second picture she’s put pillows and blankets in the basket and is using it as a bed, a paw raised in goodbye.
If the medi-teddies ever learn to weaponize their cuteness, humanity is in real trouble.
Packing is easy. I don’t have a lot. A band shirt from when I went to see ‘Where Angels Fear’, a few bad sketches of fruit, my dad's chess set, my pad, and a neural scanner.
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 13th, 2137
​
The space flight actually lands directly in Sweden, somewhere north of the polar circle at a place called Esrange. I immediately realize that winter’s back on the menu, as the cold makes my left leg and arm ache like hell. It’s the dead of night, too… But I’ve missed night. So has everyone else, as despite the cold people are walking straight out into the snow to just stare up into the starry sky and stare in open awe at the sky, where the stars form a backdrop for the northern lights. I join them.
A poetic whimsy falls over me, making me grin at the cheesiness. It’s like the sky itself is welcoming us back home.
From Esrange we take cars to Kiruna, Sweden’s northernmost city. From there it’s a long train ride south. I’ve gotten a sleeper cabin. With the generous stipend from the UN, I have no need to scrimp.
Even so, it takes significantly longer to travel 1400 kilometers across Sweden than it did to travel 16 light-years from Gliese 832. I’ve got almost twenty hours to appreciate the irony.
​
Date [standardized human time]: January 14th, 2137
​
I’m met at the train station in Lund by a man holding a sign with my name on it. His car takes me directly to the university. Everything feels very… ordinary, except I’m a bit dazed at having so many humans around me again.
We arrive a little before 8 in the morning. Excited students scurry to and fro, eager and hopeful for the first day of spring term. The driver is named Markus, and very kindly helps me find my way to my meeting. I’m left outside a door, standing around awkwardly.
The man I’m meeting with is Jonas Falck, and he’s the head of the department of computer science. While the UN has ‘encouraged’ the university to take me in despite it being so close to the term start, the decision remains with him.
I really wanted to see the girls first, but the meeting time was set for me. I desperately wish I had thought to shave beforehand. I’ve been using my beard to hide my weak chin, but it probably looks more unprofessional than-
“Hey, are you Martin Russo?”
Ah, I see.
Mister Falck is holding two cups of coffee and offers one of them to me with a smile. He’s got a full beard, a full belly, hair past his shoulders, and a pink hawaiian shirt to go with his khaki shorts and flip-flops. This man is clearly one of the most talented professionals working in the field today.
​
“So, do you mind if I ask…” He motions to my cane while I take a seat.
“How that happened?”
“Yes.”
“That’s classified. I’m not even joking.”
He nods once, like that was more or less what he expected to hear. He leans back in his chair, which creaks a bit, and takes a slow drink from his coffee while reading on his computer. “So you studied at Columbia University before the Bombing?”
“Yes.”
“And your family lived in New York?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He doesn’t say it unkindly, but he does say it as rote. ‘Oh you’re from one of the places that doesn’t exist anymore? Sorry to hear that.’
I nod awkwardly. “Yes.”
“And you were focusing on studying brain-computer interfacing?”
I feel like a recording. “Yes.”
“It’s very uncommon to add a student this late. The term begins today.”
“Yes.”
“We can’t provide housing for you on such a short notice, for one.”
“I have that handled, sir.”
He scrunches his face up. “Jonas, please. Americans are so formal.”
“Alright, er, Jonas.”
“So, Martin, what I’m asking for is a reason. To take you in right now, I mean, instead of next year.”
I nod. This is thankfully something I had planned for. My hand slips into my pocket, fingering the box holding the scanner electrodes. “Well, Jonas… I think there’s something you should take a look at.”
​
Handling paperwork and basic orientation takes most of the morning. I manage to get morning-and-evening classes to share my time off with the lambchops. That only works because most people don’t want evening classes. Evenings are for partying if you’re a student, so late classes are mostly for adults with jobs.
I end up standing around nervously by the entrance to the university building, counting down the time. I watch people passing by as calmly as I can, still checking my pad every minute or so for any messages and jerking my head around like a bird at anything that’s even a bit of a shade of gray.
I can tell the alien girls are coming even before I see them, since everyone is glancing curiously their way. I straighten my back and shift my weight from foot to foot. I feel like a dog at an airport, waiting for the return of its owner.
They’re looking around as I see them, and Thiva’s the first to spot me. Her ears perk up and Vilek immediately looks to me as well. As they speed up into a sprint, I’m a bit surprised to see them both wearing clothes. Both girls are wearing custom boots made to fit their digitigrade legs.
They’re both wearing coveralls, Vilek’s in a hospital teal and Thiva’s in a bright red. It’s been explained to me that many at the university have a student culture of wearing colorful coveralls that they decorate with patches, called ‘Ovve’, and that Thiva’s red marks her as a mechanical engineering student. Vileks’s teal, presumably, mark her as studying healthcare. Or specifically therapy, perhaps. I need to look it up.
Seeing as computer science students are apparently expected to wear pink ones, I’m thinking I might sit out this grand and colorful tradition. On the other hand according to the Internet it’s an informal rule to cut a bit from the ‘Ovve’ of anyone you’ve exchanged body fluids with and patch it onto your own. So I suppose I could be convinced.
The girls collide with me, thankfully gently. Their tails are wagging like crazy out of the back of their outfits, and they’re clinging to me. I inhale deeply, take in the distinct and pleasant scent of my cute Venlil friends, and cling to them as well. My fingers stroke through their thick fur, and I hear their happy wordless bleating and whistling.
I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, not giving one whit for the passersby watching the scene.
“Oh, girls, I-” Vilek punches me in the arm unexpectedly. The right one, thankfully.
“Ow!”
Even though her ears signal joy and her tail is wagging, her voice is still stern. “We learned what ‘lambchops’ means!”
Ah.
​
The student flat isn’t very expansive, but it’s larger than the one we shared on Venlil Prime. Probably because humans are just plain larger.
It’s currently sparsely furnished. There’s a couple of desks, a couch, a table, a beanbag chair, and a bunk bed. I take my shoes off in the hallway, as the girls do. When in Lund.
They help me unpack. There’s not a lot, but they had already set aside a little corner for me. I’ve got the beanbag chair instead of a desk, which I’m perfectly fine with.
I sigh and lean against a wall briefly. “I’m… so glad to be home.”
Thiva turns her head a little, flicking an ear in question. “You missed being on Earth?”
I chuckle, and pinch her ear-tip lightly. I lean over to give Vilek one too, for fairness. It earns me a pair of bleeps from them, and I go on the offensive to rub their heads and scratch their ears and do everything I can to make the lambchops squeal happily. They thankfully oblige. “I missed being with my herd.”
My friends are safe, they’re here with me, and we all have paths forward. I’ve fought and bled for this opportunity. I’m allowed to enjoy it.
I sit down on the couch with a quiet groan of satisfaction, finally getting to put my cane aside. “So, girls… how are you feeling about Earth so far?”
They grumble immediately. “It is so freaking cold!” “Snow! We do not like the snow!”
“It’s only for another couple of… Months.” They’re undressing right in front of me. I am left briefly stunned.
Oh right they don’t normally wear clothes.
Reminding myself of that doesn’t help. The context is what it is. They’re my best friends and my two favorite girls and they’re stripping naked before me.
My brain fails me. “…Okay, so, uhh. Um. Hmmh. Huh.”
Mother of God there’s nothing different! They’re naked. They’re always naked! It hasn’t been a problem on VP, it won’t be a problem here! Man up!
I take a deep and steadying breath and resolutely refuse to think of patches of white and red on a set of pink coveralls, with pink patches on their matching ones.
“I guess we should… buy some food? And some clothes for me to use? And…”
And they turn their heads toward me, staring at me with one eye each. Side by side. Making me feel like I'm being stared down by a single creature. One with forward-facing eyes. And an orange blush.
They take slow steps closer. Thiva speaks first with an amused lilt to her voice. “Or maybe this is a good time to talk. You know, about the house rules.”
Vilek speaks as well, moving her tail sinuously in a teasing motion. “Relationship statuses.”
Thiva comes in with the finisher, practically purring. “Sleeping arrangements.”
Ah.
​
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And that's the end! Thank you all so much for reading, and check the comments for a small request from yours truly!
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Hey guys, I want to get into reviewing pads as I have been collecting and using them for years now. I received this pad from Gamesense to help with feedback and I am allowed to make a review on it! This will not affect my opinions, and I would have been perfectly ok with purchasing the pad up front or afterwords to make this review :)
​
I want to get straight into the meat of this pad so specs and details will be at the end ->
​
The Sonar: aka the balance glass pad. In the age of speed, where aimers crave light weight, less friction, more speed and raw aim, this pad comes as a breath of fresh air.
While this statement may come across as a little controversial, I think it is excellent that Gamesense is bringing something different to the market than another speed pad. Do not let this fool you into thinking this a slow pad however, as it is still made of glass, and provides that low initial/static friction that glass pads are synonymous with.
What is does bring, is control in the form of dynamic friction and stopping power. Comparing this pad to Skypad 2.0 and 3.0 is has quite a different surface. Not necessarily to the feel, as by hand it is closer to the Skypad 3.0 surface.
But in terms of its feeling through the mouse is where this pad sets itself apart. Where the Skypad can feel like my mouse is floating and gliding, I feel locked in on this surface. As if my mouse is ON the surface, not merely gliding over it.
This gives an initial feeling of almost roughness through the mouse skates, similar to a an almost Hien like feedback. This is a feeling that lessons over time and I feel as though the pad does have a small break in period, of a few days or a week.
Once past this, the micro corrections inherit the glass pad property of being in your control, light and low friction. The beauty of this pad comes into its sweeps, tracking and flicks. It stops on a dime, which seems as though it contradicts its low initial friction, but in practice does not.
I find it most prevalent on a 75 degree or more flick, where I quickly swipe my mouse and lock into the target, something in which I struggle with on the Skypad due to its incredibly fast and smooth nature. In this way, during fast movements, the Sonar acts as a sort of controlled pad, which not inheriting the muddy or inconsistent nature of a plush cloth pad.
This means on every motion I get the same, unchanging experience. Flick-stop, flick-stop, switch-switch-switch.
Lets talk about tracking. I have been playing less tracking heavy games of late (CS and Valorant), but just to test this aspect of the pad I have done some tracking sessions in Kovaak's. While my previous comments have indicated that the strong suit of this pad is its controlled stopping power, that does not mean it is bad at tracking by any means.
Most tracking consists of smooth, slower motion, prioritizing accuracy instead of speedy target acquisition. Here once again the pad excels. With the exception of a truly speed based cloth pad(Artisan Raiden for example) the tracking offered by this pad is well inline with fast hybrid offerings.
I would not say it is "as good" at tracking as a Skypad, IF you have immaculate mouse control or crave a friction-less experience. I think for everyone but the speediest of demons, this pad offers a level of tracking far beyond their own capabilities, and will not be a hard ceiling to their mouse control skill.
​
Final overall thoughts regarding the pad:
Things I like
I like the design of both this pad and the regular black version. I think it offers something unique and eye pleasing, which I think is important in a pad. I prefer a simple design, with well thought out colors, and I think both variants of this pad accomplish that goal. The collectors edition Minwah of Pearl some might consider garish, but I find to be quite enjoyable as it reminds me of a blanket you might find on the spare bed of your grandmothers house.
I like the control this pad offers in static and flicking type aiming. It gives me a sense of control over my mouse, while not hand holding as much as a control cloth pad.
Also the size of this pad feels great, while being 500x400 the vertical space is sufficient, somehow it feels like there is so much space horizontally, even for the low sense players. With the rounded edges it also feels very comfortable on the arm and does not cause any discomfort.
​
Things I don't like
The design implementation: while I do like the actual design, the way it is implemented on the glass leaves a close up feels a little blurry, and some of the characters having a sort of cloudy outline. I believe this is the case with ALL glass pad designs, as the print must shine through the surface, and it is more of a minor nitpick.
Initial Feeling: my first impressions of this pad I thought my mouse skates would start deteriorating like going over a cheese grater. It felt extremely abrasive on the mouse skates for a few day until breaking in. I believe this feeling is due to the bead blast surface, and what is in fact what gives the pad its control.
I have gotten used to it, but it did leave me a little wary at first that my skates would quickly degrade(which is common with glass pads)
My last gripe is consistent across all glass pads I have used and that is it feels terrible once I start to sweat. I live in a pretty humid environment, and my AC doesn't run full blast all the time. So during extended session as I start to warm up and build a little sweat, I just stick to this pad. However, I have experienced this with all glass pads so I won't count it against it.
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Overall I enjoyed my experience with this pad. It is the most enjoyable glass pad I have used yet, especially since I don't hone my mouse control as some users, and prefer a little control in my life, even with my cloth pads. This pad fit well into my repertoire, and did not hold me back even after switching to it immediately. After the break in period, the pad does speed up a little, losing some of that "grating" feel.
All in all I would recommend this pad for any game, it offers something for all scenarios, and really lets the user decide what level of control they have over it. If you are a cloth pad user and have been looking to move to a hard surface, I would recommend this pad over Skypad, unless you are sure your mouse control would not hold you back for a significant amount of time.
My own personal opinion is that glass pads are diminishing returns, and most gamers would benefit more from coaching or vod review if they are looking to up their game, but this pad is more inline with purchasing a pad to fit your need, especially if you hate cleaning or wearing out your cloth pad.
SPECS:
500x400mm, 6 rubber dots, 4.7mm thick, rounded edges, bead blasted surface

Hello. I know just from reading the title you are likely seething with rage and hate for Alexee. Likely you have already down voted this post. I am appalled by the number of people having already convicted Alexee and now want her lynched.
I am equally appalled by the amount of video the public has access too. This has tainted public opinion and makes it almost impossible she will be afforded a fair and unbiased trial based on actual evidence introduced in court. All of the surveillance video from inside the hospital should never have been released. This violates Hippa Laws and a patient's Right to Privacy. "When you use security cameras in a healthcare environment, the video footage that you record qualifies as PHI. As PHI, video surveillance footage must be protected according to HIPAA regulations.Jun 10, 2021"
Alexee was experiencing an acute medical and mental health emergency and the release / leak of hospital video violates her right to doctor patient confidentiality. For those whose blood is boiling what if this was inside an abortion clinic and a teenager was violated by the release of videos in a patient treatment area? Protesters would be enraged and demand action--where is the outrage here?
Based on the facts as currently known (no discovery yet just what is in public domain and can be verified) this is how I would defend Alexee during a trial. I ask you to consider all of the following:
--Innocence until proven guilty in a court of law--the cornerstone of our legal system and society.
I strenuously argue and expect the following be inadmissible and excluded from trial:
>All video of Alexee inside the patient treatment areas of the hospital--both security cameras and police body cameras excluded .
>Police bodycam footage from inside Alexee's treatment room should be Hippa protected. She has the expectation of doctor patient confidentiality. Police knew there was no crime actively happening inside the hospital room at the moment they entered. The question of IF a crime was committed already occurred in the toilet room previous to police arrival and there was no flight risk from Alexee in a hospital room with one way in and out.
Police violated her civil rights by entering her medical treatment room while Alexee was in a hospital bed. Further police by entering her hospital room delayed urgent medical care Alexee required and placed undue stressors on her during a critical moment when per the statements of the doctor she was hemorrhaging.
>At no point was she read her Miranda Rights. Any statements made during an acute medical and mental health crisis inside a treatment room without her being advised of her Miranda Rights cannot be used against her at trial.
--During all video of her in her treatment room and patient hallway areas--as has been so far illegally released to the public violating her Hippa rights-- Alexee was under the influence of pain medicine administered by the hospital.
Pain medicine alters how Alexee feels, her body's sensations, perception of said sensations, mental acuity, mental state, memory and cognitive ability--this is the whole purpose of pain medications. These are indisputable and known scientific facts for decades which have proven pain medications cause all of these reactions which is why every single pain med has strict warnings not to operate machinery, not to drive Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera........ (For those attacking Alexee as mentally deficient, "slow", retarded, "mentally off" and / or view her reactions as not appropriate the hospital had her hopped up on pain medications before she even went to the bathroom. I say shame on anyone convicting her in the court of public opinion under the influence of medication(s) and during an acute medical and mental health crisis.
>Purported pictures of Alexee with her cheer leading team in the grey shirt and holding the megaphone in her uniform. These pictures are all over the internet and have not been verified as authentic. I believe there is a high likelihood these particular pictures have been photo-shopped making them altered fakes. There are multiple indicators of the two most widely distributed photos showing they are not authentic.
The person who took said pictures, origin of the pictures, original metadata and chain of custody of these photos must be discovered and questioned. Once the absolute original files have been discovered, if they even exist, they need to be independently analyzed by a digital photography expert.
I ask everyone to please put the videos you have seen out of your mind as well as it should and will likely be for the jury during the trial. I ask you to consider the following facts as we understand them at this juncture. Use only the following facts to determine if there is any reasonable doubt concerning Alexee and what happened. Even a scintilla of doubt or uncertainty means Alexee should be adjudicated not guilty by a court.
During a trial I argue the following in defense of Alexee:
>Alexee is a teenager. She only recently turned 19. She is inexperienced in life, sex and relationships. Although technically an adult by a few weeks the law is contradictory. She is still in high school due to when she was born and started kindergarten. At 19 she cannot smoke cigarettes, vape or buy or drink alcohol. Society and the law has decided 19 is not old enough to make an informed decision on smoking and alcohol. Her mother treats her as a child.
>Alexee has been treated in such a way by her mother to be ashamed of teen sex and its possible consequences. Her mother despite good intentions created a relationship of shame regarding sex and loosing her virginity. Most teens and even young adults do not share intimate sexual details with theirs parents for many reasons. Consider the added stress the mother has created for years in a misguided attempt to protect her daughter.
People in general but especially children and teenagers deny they did something wrong when accused. A child is observed breaking an item and even though said child knows the parent saw her break the item often will deny they broke it when questioned. There are decades of child psychiatry and doctors to testify regarding this. Those young children grow up to be teenagers and if the parent(s) have not properly handled these learning opportunities at young ages the teenager will have--in this case 19 years--of improper responses of how to handle life.
>Alexee's mother was beaten and abused by her father so badly Alexee was born preterm with hip and spinal problems causing pain on and off her entire life. Imagine the unhealthy relationship regarding sex, men and pregnancy her mother--despite good intentions--during Alexee's life imprinted on a child and then a teen.
>Alexee was taking hormonal birth control pills. We do not know if these were prescribed for acne, menstrual problems or birth control reasons. If prescribed for acne or menstrual problems and Alexee's mom knew she was taking them this combined with her mom's many years worth of admonishment, forbidding and shaming of teen sex and her mother feeling confident her daughter was a virgin--this would create a mental assurance for her mother she could never possible be pregnant.
Likewise, regardless if Alexee was taking hormonal bc with or without her mom's knowledge she would be assured she was preventing any possibility of pregnancy and being safe. Hormonal bc is widely regarded as virtually 100% effective and the best non-surgical option for preventing an unwanted pregnancy. The Pill is the gold standard for being safe and responsible to the point it's common knowledge providing a false sense of security.
The pill is so ubiquitous as infallible even in pornographic videos it is commonplace for the teen or woman to state "pull out I'm not on the pill"--as if she was on the pill it would be 100% guaranteed safe. Teens and even adults are indoctrinated to commonly believe the pill is infallible--even in porn.
We know sex education is lacking in all public schools, her fundamentalist church certainly wasn't providing sex ed, her mom used fear, shame and abstinence as the only approach and her father was a scumbag abuser not even in her life in a meaningful way. Media targeted to teens promotes "safe sex" rarely making a point any bc can fail. It's promoted and considered as an absolute.
No matter how you consider the above facts both Alexee and her mom were very confident there was no way she could be pregnant. Taking the bc pill to Alexee was an assurance she could not become pregnant, she could not disappoint her mom--she was being safe with no risks and in a committed long term relationship. She wasn't "one of those girls" or the school slutt.
>Alexee gained some weight. Everyone knows the Pill can cause weight gain. Its the number one reason teenagers and young women state they don't want to take the pill. There is so much pressure on being thin--especially for a teenager and a high school student going to prom ect. When she noticed she gained some weight of course it was because of the bc pill. She can't be pregnant--of course not--because she's on the pill. How could she be? A quick Google search "can the pill make me gain weight" confirms its common.
If her mom knew about her being on BC this causes no alarms for her mom because not only does she believe her daughter is a virgin she's on the pill and the pill makes many women gain weight.
>Maybe--and we don't know--Alexee was on BC because of menstrual issues. If that was the case then any period irregularities would be explained by known period issues, the pill can make periods light or non-existent in many women so nothing to be worried about if she's irregular, besides irregular periods are common in teens--especially athletes, as a medical fact. It is well known many women bleed during pregnancy at the time when they expect to be having a period so think they are regularly menstruating.
There are even entire TV shows based on the woman not knowing she is pregnant--many are adults in their 30s, experienced in life and many even had previous children!! Plenty of incidents making this fairly common and plenty of respected medical doctors will testify in court to this phenomenon.
>Alexee was treated in the emergency room in December--one month prior--for back pain. The same back pain she experienced on and off her whole life--and the same back pain that would bring her to the ER the night she delivered. She would have been around 32 to 36 weeks pregnant (pregnancy full term is 40 weeks gestation even though everyone commonly thinks 9 months) and at the end of December when seen in the ER. No one, not a single medical professional noticed she was very pregnant while in the hospital four weeks prior to delivering a baby.
>Alexee tells her mom she is in pain in January and needs to go to the ER for treatment. This is significant. If Alexee knew she was pregnant and premeditated killing and hiding the baby from her mom, boyfriend and the world it makes absolutely no sense she would tell her mother she was in pain and needed to go to the hospital. If she premeditated murder and secrecy then she would not have presented herself to her mom in pain and needing medical help. Everyone has seen TV births--although not realistic--there is almost always pain and pushing and then a baby. So Alexee who has premeditated and purposely hidden 40 weeks or pregnancy fooling everyone--her mom, peers, boyfriend, coaches, teachers, nurses and doctors decides to tell her mom she needs to go to the hospital when IF she had realized she was pregnant and consciously hidden and schemed everything!?!?! This makes no sense.
We know for a fact she knew how to do things herself on the "down low". Afterall she wasn't having sex infront of her mom--she went somewhere private to do the deed. If her premeditated plan all along was to knowingly conceal........see where this is going?
>January ER visit considerations:
--Alexee's mom had three kids--makes her very experienced at pregnancy--and has no idea Alexee is pregnant.
>Alexee is seen by and triaged by a registered nurse. She does not notice she is full term and in active labor. The duty of and sole purpose of the triage nurse to identify acute medical conditions needing immediate and emergency treatment--like say heart attacks or active labor.
>Alexee is taken to a hospital exam room and seen by the intake nurse--another registered nurse-- who's duty is and is trained to takes vitals, acquire pertinent information, makes trained medical observations and prepares the patient for possible required exams for when the doctor arrives--all of this on behalf of the doctor.
This nurse does not notice she is full term pregnant and in active labor. Remember that part above "prepares the patient for possible required exams" if the nurse has any indications the issue was in anyway related to female reproductive organs or involved the vagina the nurse would have the patient--Alexee--change into a gown for a possible pelvic exam.
She does not do this--Alexee is not in a hospital gown so another registered nurse experienced in emergency medicine--nurse number two--is completely oblivious to a full term pregnancy and active labor.
>The doctor comes into the exam room. This is a licensed and trained medical doctor specializing in emergency medicine. She speaks with and presumably examines Alexee for her back pain--to do anything less is malpractice. This medical doctor, certified and practicing emergency medicine orders pain medicine administered to Alexee.
We have a trained and experienced MEDICAL DOCTOR that does not realize Alexee is full term pregnant and in active labor. Remember those photos on the internet I discussed earlier and believe them to be faked and photo-shopped? If they were real and she was that visibly pregnant tell me two registered nurses and a licensed medical doctor given the symptoms displayed, age of the patient and the obvious dynamic between mom and daughter about keeping her virginity and you still don't this she is full term pregnant and in active labor.
The dynamic observed between Alexee and her mom the doctor had the DUTY as a standard of car to ask the mother to leave the exam room so she could privately discuss things with Alexee.
>We have all been in the hospital and ER so we all know how this goes. We know another nurse came to administer the pain meds and to administer test(s) order by the doctor. (we also know this by the police interviews of all medical personal involved)
This is nurse number three not noticing a teenage girl is full term and in active labor!!! Not just any registered nurse but the Emergency Room CHARGE NURSE--the head of the nurses in the ER at that time. (he's the male nurse in the videos wearing a skull cap).
>We know one of the tests ordered by the doctor and administered was a pregnancy test. A pregnancy test that results POSITIVE. We have a teen girl patient in extreme pain who is sure she isn't pregnant and is adamant she is not pregnant because I don't believe she thought she was. This patient is in an exam room and you the medical staff and especially the doctor DO NOT immediately return to the exam room to conduct a simple and quick pelvic exam (which doesn't even require a doctor a nurse can do and routinely do pelvic exams).
>Instead the doctor orders an ultrasound. So time passes when a quick pelvic could have been done but wasn't and in comes the ultrasound tech. She DOES NOT HAVE THE PROPER WAND ATTACHMENT TO CONDUCT A PREGNANCY ULTRASOUND. On top of this she is an Ultrasound tech--certified and trained--and even after attempting an unsuccessful ultrasound doesn't realize Alexee is full term pregnant with a baby literally in the birth canal in active labor.
Keep in mind the certified and trained ultrasound tech who has done presumably dozens, if not hundreds, if not thousands of ultrasounds on pregnant women in labor--because ultrasounds are common in virtually every pregnancy--this tech doesn't realize Alexee is full term and in active labor.
We KNOW the ultrasound tech had to pull up Alexee's shirt to expose the skin on her stomach to attempt the ultrasound (because you can't do an ultrasound without skin to wand contact via some snot-like medical grade jelly).
IF the tech thought Alexee was in active labor, full term and close to delivering does anyone not think she wouldn't tell a nurse or the doctor?? "Hey you better check on this girl right now?"
>None of the medical staff even tells Alexee her pregnancy test was positive. Alexee and her mom still have no idea Alexee is pregnant.
>Alexee feels like she needs to use the bathroom--to have a bowel movement. The nurses and doctor allow her to get up, unaccompanied and waddle / run holding her bottom all the way down the hall. Alexee has NO IDEA she is pregnant--has never been told by any medical staff and didn't see the baby on the ultrasound because the tech botched the procedure not having the correct wand.
>Common knowledge to most people--lay people--as a baby enters the birth canal and crowns the woman feels an overwhelming urge to have a bowel movement. We expect even at the lowest and most minimal level of care by registered nurses and licensed doctors to know a woman in labor experiences a sensation of needing to have a BM before the baby is born. Medical facts and training teaches nurses and doctors to instruct the woman to push the baby out as if she was pushing to have a BM. We know virtually every woman has a BM at some point while pushing.
Alexee and her mom still have no idea she is pregnant at this point despite being seen by three registered nurses, an ultrasound tech and a licensed MEDICAL DOCTOR.
The medical staff KNOWS 100% Alexee is pregnant-and has known long enough to send in an ultrasound tech perform a botched ultrasound--and yet the medical staff knowing all of this allows Alexee to waddle-run down a hall holding her bottom, ALONE and be in a bathroom over 20 minutes.
We are so far past medical malpractice on so many levels to the point of gross negligence and blatant disregard for Alexee-the patient. I've seen a lot of cases of malpractice at busy hospitals but nothing has ever come close to the malpractice and willful disregard for patient care and safety as I have learned in this case.
>Alexee, doesn't know shes pregnant, feels like she needs to have an urgent BM. She's on the toilet, shes in pain, pushing feels good because that is what her body is telling her and everyone knows if you feel super constipated with a huge and heavy poop that's stuck as soon as you get it out you will feel better.
At some point Alexee's body takes over--humans are animals--and like animals a body will birth a baby as an automatic process regardless if the mom is ready or not. Regardless if the mom is even conscious or not--after all comatose patients have delivered babies spontaneously.
This is that time.
I know everyone is going to shout but she should have called for help ect ect.
Really think about this and consider:
>Alexee is a teenager, young and inexperienced with her body and womanhood. She only just barely meets the legal definition as an adult buy mere weeks and can't even buy vape or a pack of smokes and she's still in high school. An adult by technicality only she is in high school, acts very immature and has not had any life experiences as an adult.
>Alexee has been to the ER twice in 30 days time and is in the ER at this very moment sitting on a toilet with an incredible urge to poop, she's seen by half a dozen trained medical professionals even just moments ago and she knows they gave her a pregnancy test "just in case" and no one has told her she's pregnant, she's scared to death but in her mind she's on the birth control pill and not a single person at the hospital during two visits has told her she's pregnant. She has NO idea a baby is about to come out. It's not possible to her and based on all we know she has confirmation in her mind time and time and time again she is NOT PREGNANT. In fact, she is on her period she thinks, she sees blood--yes confirmation of period, cramps, pain, nausea--all valid, legitimate and known period indicators. She can't be pregnant as we have established and since she is at the hospital they would have told her if she was. She has back problems, thinks she is on or starting her period and is constipated worse than she has ever been--of course combined these are the cramps and pain from the pitts of hell.
>Experts will testify at some point in that toilet room she disassociates with her body. Now she is in fear, overwhelming pain, anxiety, young with limited life experience. She has been drugged by the doctors with pain medicine which affects her sensations and cognitive abilities and decision making. She wants to yell for help but she can't. There is no voice, no words and no actual realization as to what is happening to her.
>This is NOT unheard of. Fear is a power controller. Every person responds differently. Many people do nothing and totally freeze and are oblivious to external stimuli. History is full of people--aged and experienced adults who are trained professionals in life and death situations who freeze and cannot function or function in a totally illogical way.
--The airline pilot who despite thousands of hours of flight experience suddenly forgets how to fly or simply does nothing. Or does something so incredibly stupid and so contradictory to every bit of training and flying instinct makes the wrong response causing the plane to crash. (Atlas Air B767 / Continental Express Q400 / UPS A300)
--Trained soldiers in battle firing on their own fellow soldiers wearing the same uniform right in front of them but in that moment they kill their friends.
--A veteran police officer responding to a school shooting in Florida so overcome with fear he cannot enter the building to do the job he has trained, practiced and done for 25 plus years of his career resulting in dozens of children dying or injured.
--A respected gray-haired "old salt" ship captain who has crossed the Atlantic hundreds of times in his 50 year career--actually the admiral of the fleet-- who becomes impotent when his ship hits an iceberg and after giving the orders to evacuate disappears from leadership. (Titanic)
The recent Idaho murders the downstairs roommate, who has experienced actual adult experiences living on her own in college, comes FACE-TO-FACE with the killer while her four friends and roommates are bleeding out locks herself into her room, goes to bed and does NOTHING for hours until the net day. This is despite her admitting she heard a pained / muffled scream, moaning, an unknown voice and came face-to-face with the killer POTENTIALLY while the victims could have been saved with immediate medical care. She is defended by society as bearing no burden or negligence because she was young, scared and had been partying so was under the influence of substances.
Wait a minute........so was Alexee. Ironically some of the same people in this very forum who defended the Idaho roommate for being completely without burden by ignoring and going back to bed want to lynch Alexee or lock her up for her entire life.
Can we under all of these circumstances expect a teenage girl who has every legitimate reason to be sure she is NOT pregnant and not in labor expect her to be rational in this moment?
If Alexee herself didn't know she was pregnant, had no reason to expect she was pregnant, was on birth control, her mom who has had three pregnancies doesn't notice, her peers don't notice, her teachers don't notice, her coaches, her church, her boyfriend AND....
TWO VISITS TO THE ER / HOSPITAL 30 DAYS APART
the visit where the birth occurred:
THREE REGISTERED NURSES
ULTRASOUND TECH
EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTOR / LICENSED MD
If ALL of the people in Alexee's life and ESPECIALLY TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS did not notice or realize she was not only pregnant but in active labor HOW CAN WE EXPECT ALEXEE--a teenager--TO REALIZE THIS WHEN SHE TOOK HERSELF TO A HOSPITAL WANTING HELP?
The hospital and its staff disgust me. They acted with total disregard to Alexee and human life. Not a single nurse or doctor even bothered to try and resuscitate the baby when it was found. Most likely the baby was beyond resuscitation but for medical professionals in a hospital to not even attempt to save the baby after totally botching the standard of care for Alexee up to this point shows how criminally negligent everyone who treated Alexee that night is culpable for the death of a child.
The state has WAY overcharged Alexee. At most she should be facing abuse of a corpse. She needs mental help not jail. She is not likely to ever re-offend.
The ER doctor should be charged with manslaughter and negligence resulting in a death as her level of care was grossly negligent.
My heart goes out to the little boy who is not live--stillborn or otherwise. All life is precious.
So is Alexee and her life. This is beyond horrible for all involved. Every single person in Alexee's life failed her time and time again.
Do not as a jury pr society fail her again and sentence her to life in prison. There is so much reasonable double of premeditation and medical negligence / indifference in this case it would be criminal for a jury to convict her of Premeditated Murder in the 1sr degree.
I pray for everyone involved on so many levels. This case has no winners--only losers . Every single person in contact at any point with Alexee--but especially on the night in question-- and Alexee herself has a heavy cross to bear for the rest of their lives.
The nurses and ultrasound tech should be retrained, put on probation to be monitored making sure they have the skills and judgements needed to care for patients and the medical doctor should lose her license.
Alexee especially as well as her mother and boyfriend need education and counseling.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
​

Shabbat shalom everyone! Today I’m continuing the most important lesson ever. Many say that Yeshua abolished the Mosaic Law, and that the Old Testament is long gone and obsolete. Is the Law and the Prophets abolished? Let’s put the some of the writings of the New Testament to the test of the Law and the Prophets.
Last week we learned who is King Melchisedec, and that even Abraham tithed 10 percent of the spoils to the King. We learned that King Melchisedec means King of Righteousness and King of Salem means King of Peace. The author of Hebrews also declared that the king was of a greater honor then Abraham because Abraham tithed to him, and King Melchisedec blessed Abraham with a blessing after they defeated the four kings. The author of Hebrews also compared the High Priest of the order of Melchisedec and the High Priest of the Levites and declared that Yeshua’s high priesthood was declared by King David in Psalm 110 by an unremovable oath by Father himself and Yeshua’s priesthood will never need an additional sacrifice for his personal atonement, because he no longer has the infirmary of the Flesh. We also looked at Isaiah 66 and learned that the Levitical priesthood will restart one day, but with Levites chosen by Father himself.
Again, we can see that looking at the New Testament writings with the lens of the Torah, that the verses become clearer and there are no contradictions. Here is the score far:
The Torah: 16
Doctrines of Devils: 0
WMC no. 16 is Genesis 14:18 and Psalm 110:4. In these verses we lean that Yeshua is our High Priest forever, in the order of Melchisedec, and that oath can never be undone.
Let’s keep sharpening our proverbial spears and swords, which is the Word. Let’s continue our study of the epistle to the Hebrews.
Hebrews chapter 8:1-5
Now of the things which we have spoken this is the sum: We have such an high priest, who is set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens; [2] A minister of the sanctuary, and of the true tabernacle, which the Lord pitched, and not man. [3] For every high priest is ordained to offer gifts and sacrifices: wherefore it is of necessity that this man have somewhat also to offer. [4] For if he were on earth, he should not be a priest, seeing that there are priests that offer gifts according to the law: [5] Who serve unto the example and shadow of heavenly things, as Moses was admonished of God when he was about to make the tabernacle: for, See, saith he, that thou make all things according to the pattern shewed to thee in the mount.
In chapter 8 the author starts with a summary of his point. We who have accepted Yeshua as our teacher, High Priest, and master, have accepted a High Priest not of the tabernacle on earth, but of the tabernacle in the heavens, made by Yahweh himself. He then declares that the tabernacle on earth is a copy of the tabernacle in heaven because Moses received the pattern (or plan) as detailed when he was up on the mount. This verse is from Exodus 12:40. Yeshua, as the Levites, is ordained to offer gifts and sacrifices, but of the heavenly fashion, because if he were on earth, he would not be a priest at all. Being of the tribe of Judah rather than the tribe of Levi.
Hebrews chapter 8:6-12
[6] But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises. [7] For if that first covenant had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second. [8] For finding fault with them, he saith, Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: [9] Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, saith the Lord. [10] For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people: [11] And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. [12] For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
In verses 7 to 12 the author of Hebrews quotes Jerimiah 31:31-34 verbatim. I wrote an extensive lesson already on the new covenant as prophesied by Jerimiah and Ezekiel, you can get a refresh at this link: Was the Law abolished by Yeshua? What is better in the new covenant, and that has better promises? In the old covenant, Israelites had to learn and set the Law in their hearts and mind. We see this in the Shema at Deuteronomy 6:4-9:
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: [5] And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. [6] And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: [7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. [8] And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. [9] And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
A command from Father that the Israelites failed to do. There was something wrong in the people, not the Law. The Law is sealed and can never change. So, in the new covenant, God takes the responsibility from his elect and those who seek Him with all their heart and strength receive a new heart of flesh and a new spirit that empowers them to honor the Law of Moses instead of rejecting it as Jerimiah predicted in Jerimiah 6:19. That’s it. That’s all that’s new in the new covenant as prophesied by Jerimiah and Ezekiel. Make no mistake the Law of Moses is alive and in full effect to this day.
Hebrews chapter 8:13
[13] In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.
Now that we are empowered with the new spirit and receive a new heart of flesh (rather than a hard heart of stone), God’s elect are now complete and can once again obtain the blessings and the promises from Yahweh to his people as detailed in the Torah. Father’s elect are now made by His own hand, instead of men and women’s. That’s what is ready to vanish because the people failed at internalizing Father’s laws, statutes, and ordinances. Not the Law of Moses itself.
Next week we will continue with chapter 9. Faith as steel brothers and sisters!
Don’t take it from me! Prove all things and judge for yourself. Let the spirit lead you where it wants you to be.
Yeshua is our master, savior and rabbi, we need no other man to lead us!
Shalom, VN
​

It’s not really important to detail everything of the next few weeks, word did spread that the Walkers were leaving again, of course, there was no way to keep that secret. Packing had to be done, after all, and arrangements for the house had to be made.
There was simply no way to keep our going ‘completely quiet’. So the neighbors started to come by asking questions.
“Should we leave too?”
“Am I going to end up with more bits of shrapnel in my kitchen?”
“Do I need to get more stuff to patch bullet holes?”
“I assume we go to the same hotel as last time, or will it be a different one?”
It was frequent enough that we held another ‘neighborhood barbecue’ where William explained over sizzling meat and a mix of real beer and that abomination to all civilized species ‘non-alcoholic beer’ that, “You are in no danger. We are leaving for a government assignment, but it is not one that puts any of you at anymore risk than yesterday or the day before. I promise, there won’t be any crazy masked gunmen showing up and disturbing the peace.”
William’s reputation was one of truthfulness, and it probably didn’t hurt that making sure the neighbors were safe had been a priority last time.
‘Last time… for the sake of the void… how many shenanigans are we supposed to get involved in?’ I asked myself that question while sipping on a very large ‘wood bottle’. This was a wonderful innovation in alcoholic beverages. Instead of ‘glass’ this ‘wood’ actually added a wonderful earthiness to the beer, making it smoother and far more full bodied than the glass counterpart.
It had its drawbacks, of course, if you didn’t want that added flavor, you had to use glass, but I found it to be positively delectable, if a little ‘thicker’ than my usual preferences.
I had a great fondness for ales, particularly the more ‘aggressive’ ones with an immediate sort of bite to them. They weren’t to be ‘chugged’ like the bland and fizzy ones that had all the kick of a sleeping toddler. No, no, these powerful ones were meant to be ‘swigged’. You take one big swig at a time, savor the richness, the full flavor, the taste, and the feel of it going down.
It’s about here I should mention that ‘beer clubs’ and ‘bourbon buddies’ were starting to gain popularity among dlamisa.
It began with the Ballyball League of Earth and Dlamias. As part of their training for the sport, teams ‘ran’ a great deal, and they learned of an ancient Earth organization that survived through the centuries called the Hash House Harriers, ‘drinkers with a running problem’ as they are popularly known.
These organizations around the world would lay out trails and follow them in search of alcohol at various stopping points. They would drink together and have a grand old time, and be rather intoxicated by the end of it all. From this my people innovated various ‘fan clubs’ for certain alcohol organizations that would sponsor their runs in exchange for filming their gatherings.
Naturally I set up a few gambling options for people to bet on my players during training, but out of these grew specific off-field rivalries which were now starting to spread to my home world, usually run out of coffee establishments.
This might be the thing that made someone decide to put me at risk. I will probably never know the answer to that one.
It didn’t matter. Not really.
I was standing there among my friends, family, neighbors, with warmth and welcome, with the smell of good food cooking and people wishing me well on my ‘business trip’ and I knew I was doing the right thing.
This was the reason, this was the point of it all, to bring ‘this’ not just to me, but to everybody.
Every drop of blood that spread in my arena, every credit that flowed into my exponentially growing cooperative organization… all of it was serving this single purpose. ‘I will see my will done. I will bring it all down.’ I vowed and took another swig from my bottle. Latunde was telling a joke, and I huffed politely.
A good man, a good neighbor. And a surprisingly good actor considering he ran a feed store, his pretend police situation when we were making our evacuation a few years ago was really well done.
But I couldn’t pay attention to jokes right then.
I went back into the house and up to Fauve’s room. I knocked, “Come in.” She answered.
I expected this, she was never particularly social, and didn’t care for large gatherings of people. I still wasn’t the biggest fan of those, but…alcohol makes everything much easier.
“Hi.” I said, poking my head in without entering. “How are you?”
She was seated at her terminal, pounding away at ‘nothing’. But she had a virtual headset on so there was ‘something’ to her.
“Fine. I’m just taking care of some things. Writing out some notes, researching the Praeda species that we’re going to meet, writing my will, breaking up with my girlfriend, the usual sort of thing that happens every…single…time I think life is going to finally come out of warp and let us relax.” She said it with such deadpan humor that I almost missed it.
“I’m sorry.” I said and slipped into the room, closing the door behind me, I went and sat down on her bed.
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Fauve answered, though she didn’t take her attention off her work. “This is just more of the usual, and if anybody is to blame, it’s me. I could have faded into the background. I could have just let everything go back to normal. I could have just shut my mouth after everything was over the first time… but no. I didn’t. I didn’t and now I can’t have a moment’s peace or normalcy. I had to be media personality, a speaker, a filmmaker a….” She trailed off and slapped her palms down on the desk. “I did this to myself. Now I’m going to be alone again because I just can’t say no. Michael is going to lose years with his friends. You’re being thrown back into god knows what, mom and dad are… no, they’re fine, to them this will be a vacation, if anything.” She sighed.
“My point is, Bailey, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m just, I’m stressed out a little.” Fauve said to me and I swallowed hard and nodded.
“I know what you mean.” I said, I chose not to mention the pseudo-attempt on my life, but added, “This is a disruption to my life too, and… a lot of things are going to change, even if things go well, maybe ‘especially’ if they do.” I got up and went to put my hand on her shoulder.
Fauve leaned back, rocking her chair so that it hit my waist, her head was against my fur, “And I don’t think I did anything wrong here but… I’m sorry that things aren’t as easy for you as you deserve. I mean that.” I promised.
She cracked a smile beneath her headset.
“Yeah, yeah, well it’s not like space is boring. No human has ever been out that far before, so we get to be a first… but even so? I’m tired of having to end relationships over work. It happened with Halbert, it happened with… wait… has it ever not happened that way?” Fauve stopped and thought that over.
I wasn’t surprised she referenced her first romantic interest. Humans tend to template all later relationships on the basis of their earlier ones, and Fauve tended to be hyperfocusd on what she was engaged in at any given moment, so I wasn’t surprised that she would never have really looked at how something over ‘played out’ in the end. Not until she had a reason to.
“Wow… yeah… everything always ended because of something work related… if not mine, then theirs. Damn.” She sighed as that understanding hit home.
Humans have in my observations, a tendency to blind themselves to what is happening, they don’t always see underlying causes for what goes awry in their lives, and as such they may miss patterns that will not be missed by other species. It makes them interesting to be around, at least.
“I’m taking a long vacation when I get back.” She promised herself and slumped. “Maybe I should sell the rights to that game series and turn my attention to something new… I…” Fauve shook her head, “Bailey, do you think it’s possible to be too career focused?”
I squeezed my hand on her shoulder a little nad cocked my head. “You’re asking me that question? Fauve, I came here on a fifty year doctoral program, I’m the last person you should ask that question.”
She was quiet for a moment before she quipped, “Alright, that’s fair. But after this is over, I’m definitely taking a break. Maybe I’ll just rewrite this breakup note and explain that because of work that we need to ‘go on a break’ no questions asked after I get back.”
It was of course possible that the other person would ‘move on’ and there was nothing to come back to when Fauve did return, however this did leave the possibility open at least. “I think that’s wise.” I said with a gentle voice.
“You should invite them to Waterland Park with everybody else.” I suggested, but Fauve shook her head.
“No. No. I have to face this one on my own. If I can walk in there and walk past that place without a problem, on my own, I can finally put the last bit of that bastard behind me.” She said it with such iron resolve that it was hard for me to imagine she wouldn’t be able to do it.
“You won’t be alone, you know that.” I reminded her.
She smiled again.
“That’s not quite what I mean, Bailey… but thank you. I still have some work to do here, but, would you be a friend and bring me a beer while I finish this up… and maybe a hamburger?” She asked.
“Sure thing, Fauve.” I said, and left her room again.

I have been dating a guy I met on tinder (29M), we went on 4 or 5 dates. Everything was GREAT, we had A LOT of chemistry, we really really liked each other and we frequently told each other how compatible we were. We were definitely seeking a LTR. We had sex 4 times and it was good. The forth time we had sex I was a bit more rough than I usually am: this meant, specifically, pounding his ass harder than usual and slapping him VERY softly on his face. I was topping him and I realize that he was somewhat uncomfortable. I asked him if he wanted me to stop, and he said yes. I stopped immediately and put my head on his chest. Then I noticed that he started to cry a bit (!!). I asked him what was wrong, and he said I was too rough and that he didn't like to be slapped on his face. I apologized many times and offered him to bring him some water. He refused and said he would rather leave. My heart was beating so fast because I really liked this person and I had no idea what I did wrong! He said he had a great day that day with me but that he didn't like it that rough. He asked me whether this was my usual pace of sex and I said no, and he immediately said "ok good because otherwise we wouldn't be compatible". He left and the next day he texted me saying that although he really really liked me and had a lot of fun with me, we were not compatible sexually (which sounded weird to me because that was the forth time we had sex and we had an amazing time before). He also said that he noticed he was bleeding when he got home (and I thought to myself: this is probably normal because that was the 2nd time in the day we had sex). I apologized again and I said that I really liked him, and asked him if we could speak on the phone to clarify what happened. He refused and said he needed space. I was planning on texting him again this week (a week after this happened), but I really don't know what to think! Did i really do anything bad? Maybe he had a prior bad experience with someone else or in childhood and this reminded him of that other situation? On the other hand I'm thinking that maybe he was not ideal after all because he saw something as a dealbreaker instead of trying to talk and figure out what happened? Any advice on this will be greatly appreciated!

Hi I am a 22 year old male and have hair all over my body. My chest and back are completely covered in hair, my arms are too, hands, fingers, feet, toes. When I was a teenager I didn’t hair have on my body until I became a vegan for 9 months when I was 16 and was suffering from malnutrition during that time. I remember being very cold all the time even when it was warm outside. My blood work was terrible during that time(it has mostly corrected itself). My globulin and albumin ratio has never corrected itself since I was 16 and I grew hair all over my body. Nobody in my family is hairy like me except me. I currently have a liver issue where my enzymes are elevated and my albumin and globulin ratio is still till this day WAY off. Could correcting this issue help with my excess hair growth?
I’ve told myself that maybe I activated some dormant genetic gene and that’s why I started growing hair all over my body.

I want to preface this by saying I’m interested in a discussion about what value widow can bring moving forward relative to other snipers or sniper-like heroes, this isn’t a complaint post and I’m not really trying to make or get opinions on if the patch is good or bad (there is lots of that already in the OW threads).
————————————————————————
With widows range being cut roughly in half for full damage, and about 40% (I think) for squishy kill shots, are there still going to be any situations in game where it’s better to have a widow than an Ashe?
I mean like maps, team comp, enemy comp, etc where a widow pick actually provides more value (or potential value) assuming skill levels and all are the same across the heroes.
I’ve seen a lot of mixed comments regarding this, which I guess is expected given the polarized views on Widow in general - ranging from “this won’t make any difference” to “she’s a throw pick now”
Personally I think she doesn’t have any realistic advantages over Ashe anymore, because even with the midrange 1 shot potential she’s forced to take harder shots, in less forgiving conditions, and with much less ability to defend herself when compared to someone like Ashe. Especially with the similarity in their aim, anyone who can land a consistent headshot from Widows new range could just as easily hand the viper scope into hip combo with Ashe and get the same kill. Meanwhile Ashe can provide more value throughout the game with higher damage output, dynamite, and coach gun.
I imagine there will be specific situations where widow could be better, like a specific bend on a map or something, but I don’t see it being more than that.
What are your thoughts?

Jagger
I have only ever told this to my close friends. I feel like people need to know me first, and know me well, to know that I'm not crazy before I tell them this story. Maybe this isn't like most creepy pasta stories, I'm not telling you something horrible and terrifying that I'm pretending is happening now. I'm telling you something that DID happen. Something that has NO explanation. Something so irrefutable by my own mind, that it forced me to choose being Agnostic, over being Atheist, because what I saw and felt was proof, there is something more out there.
I must have been about 12. My family had just moved to South Carolina, my family being my Dad and step-mom. We didn't have a proper house yet, just an apartment. It's not the kind of place that I would have ever expected something like this to happen. This place, I'm sure, was not haunted. After some research when I was a kid I concluded that there was no burial ground, no reason whatsoever for this location to be home to some type of repeat-cycle haunting.
One day I was grounded, probably for something that I did at school. I couldn't tell you at this point as it so immediately became the least of my worries. Three days, I was to stay in my room, only to come out for dinner and nothing else. There just so happened to be a Ghost Hunters marathon on around this time, and I had a TV in my room so I thought it as good a way as any to pass the time.
As I watched the shows I became very skeptical, but there were some encounters that made me think to myself, it's weird none of this has happened to me. Over the next day or so I even became a little jealous of the more intense encounters the people on the show were having.
Bored out of my entire mind I began to contemplate some way to get a ghost to visit me. I thought of a Ouija board. However I had no money and didn't know anyone with one. The most straight forward way to go about it I supposed was to ask. Now as a kid, coming from an abusive home, separated parents, mother was a drug addict who left us, I had to grow up sooner than most. I had considered death, and life, and what came after, many times all on my own. I had come to the conclusion that I just can't believe anything I'm told, and would rather see for myself if there is anything out there. However that day hadn't come, so I had settled on "Temporary Atheist".
That being said it was in a sort of mocking tone, that I clasped my hands over my air mattress, and began to pray to God. At first cheerily, but as the prayer went on, almost as if I had unconsciously realized my fatal error, my tone grew more serious. "God, if you are out there, if you exist at all. Send me a spirit, a ghost, I don't care. Send me something to meet, send me a messenger that there is life beyond this."
That turned out to be, maybe the worst mistake of my life. I would have happily gone on with my life as an Atheist, and while there are some comforts in knowing there is something more, such as not fearing death quite as much, I would have traded that knowledge away in an instant, to save me from what came that night.
It was around two in the morning. I lay, right after finishing watching my show, on my air mattress in the dark. Nervous, goosebumps on my arms, feeling cold even in the blankets. It was fun to ask for this during the day, but once the light went out, I was far more terrified than I was excited, to meet whomever God may send me. I couldn't sleep, wasn't even slightly tired.
As I lay there on my side trying to fall asleep, it seemed as though my fan had gone on mute, as the air mattress depressed behind me, and my messenger arrived. I was so scared, it was at this moment I realized what I may have asked for, after seeing all of the times that the hunters in the show seemed to know whether or not a spirit had a positive or negative feeling, I realized now how they could tell. This..Thing, I could feel it snaking it's arm around my stomach. my shirt folded, the skin under it icy, I could feel it like it were a person. A cold persons arm. It wrapped over my stomach and clutched the underside of me, for a moment I thought, "This is it, it's going to pull me away and nobody will ever see me again, what did I do!?"
As its grip tightened I became more and more terrified, I had time even to think about quickly hitting the light on the lamp, I had to aim, I thought about where the switch was before doing it, it had to be a perfect thrust, I needed to be fast. I was so fucking terrified.. I screamed as I reached for the light and flipped it on, simultaneously throwing myself from my bed, the closet door which had been closed was open all the way to the wall. I had closed it on purpose out of fear, and there it sat, even though the light was on the darkness inside scared me so much I couldn't move. I was afraid that if I ran to the door something would steal me away into it. So I sat there all night, staring, petrified at the open door and the darkness. This is how I know I never slept that night, I never dreamed up anything, there was no sleep paralysis, no spirit. This Thing. It had come for me, and left when I ran. This, I realized the next night, couldn't be thing that God sent, for what came for me the night after..If God sent it he is cruel.
The next night I was finally off grounding. I couldn't be more grateful to escape my room. I knew there was no way I was going to fall asleep again. Not after what happened last night. I was still spiked awake. I decided to bring my stuff into the living room to sleep there for the night. I stared down the hallway at my bedroom door, I had closed all the doors in the hallway, to be sure nothing could come out of one without alerting me first.
My door was at the end of the hall, to the left of it, around the corner, was the bathroom. Even recalling this is making my skin crawl, imagining it in my head makes me sick, I feel weak and terrified just thinking about it.. anyway.. The night dragged on after dinner at seven, my stepmom and dad had gone to their room and fallen asleep. 8pm, 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, 12pm, 1am. I sat there wide awake, staring. I had been watching TV, glancing back and forth between that and the hall for most of the night, but I wanted to at least lay down.
As I gazed down the hall, goosebumps on my skin, a cold tightening on the back of my neck, everything in the room seemed to dim. I sat up, just to be sure I wasn't losing it, I was still completely awake. I looked across the room at the nightlight plugged into the kitchen counter wall, and it had begun to dim. I was starting to get scared and nervous so I turned my phones screensaver on and laid back down, just in case the nightlight went off. That's when it happened. A dull droning hum seemed to fill the air, silencing the harder to notice sounds. I couldn't hear the fridge cooling, or the buzz of the light. It seemed like the noise was pure, my head felt like it was being rushed by blood, as if I were being held upside down, as I stared at my bedroom door.
Then it came. I heard the metallic scrape of a door opening, but it wasn't my door, it had to be the bathroom door. Now excruciatingly terrified I couldn't bring myself to look away from the corner where the bathroom was down the hall. I gripped my blanket over my shoulders, just to be sure I could still move and I wasn't having a nightmare or some kind of sleep paralysis which I had read about that day, it wasn't that. Everything was real, I was very awake, and I could move.
As I realized I wasn't hallucinating, or dreaming, a black mass gathered at the top of the wall. Seven feet up, what looks like an arm, with it's elbow stretched toward the hallway appeared. The idea of something that..Black. Clashing with the light of everything around it, I thought it was so dark I couldn't see, but I was wrong. as the arm stretched further I started to hear a screeching, which slowly rose to a screaming. Like people dying, the noise you might make when you have time to cry out before it's all over, all collapsing on each other. It got louder and louder, ear splitting, as this things head rounded the corner at the top of the wall, and a massive leg, the knee at 4 feet, splintered it's way into view.
I could see no details of it's face, just the jagged edges of it's body, and it's eyes, lit a dull red, like you might see when you close your eyes against the sun. It's chin seemed to stretch downward, as the screams grew louder, so shrill it made me feel like the temperature had dropped fifty degrees, my stomach twisted and turned like I could be sick at any moment, and simultaneously not even notice. It's head seemed to carry out further, as if it wanted to look at me closer, or it wanted to eat me.
The screams were so loud now it made me light headed with terror, piercing my soul, I felt anguish, I felt this wave of depression like I'd never felt in my life, this urge to die, this longing to get away from something.
Then it receded, almost as if in one motion, save for it's clawed, tendril like fingers, raking the wall as it returned from where it came.
My chest collapsed, my heart was beating so fast my head felt like a speaker, I could still hear a ringing in my ears, I felt so sick but I couldn't go to the bathroom, I sat up, back to my parents door, for the next 5 hours or so till the sun rose. Again, this confirmed that I never slept.
I poured myself into the internet that day trying to find some explanation, but without ever having been asleep, sleep paralysis wasn't it. Hallucinations, I thought maybe, but Auditory and Visual? No way. Especially considering nothing was wrong with me, I wasn't sick, I didn't have a history of this, and it didn't start up again for a long time.
This really happened to me, and it has changed me forever.
What's worse, is since then, especially in the time before I turned nineteen, I had crippling depression afterwards. I remember sleeping in my basement rooms in South Carolina and New Jersey after, just mocking him. Wishing he would come back so I didn't feel crazy. I named him Jagger, for the jagged edges I saw that night.
Around that time I had tried to kill myself a couple of times, maybe half-heartedly, maybe I was too afraid to do it, I don't know. Eventually I told my friends what had happened. And that's when it began again. Only a couple days afterwards two of my friends had come back to me telling me that ever since they heard the story, and saw me tear up thinking about it, they hadn't felt safe in their own rooms anymore. They slept with lights on at home, couldn't deal with silence, and shortly after they both told me that things had begun moving in their rooms at random times of the night. None of us ever spoke the name again, both of my friends, Jesse and Amere, suddenly developed depressive states. Maybe it was always there, and we never talked about whether or not it had something to do with Jagger, or whatever was going on at their homes.
All I know is this is real, it did happen, it has changed me completely from what I used to believe, and maybe I carried Jagger with me, maybe he never went away, but went inside me. Perhaps that's why it seemed almost instantly I went from being a happy, hopeful kid, to being a miserable, sad teenager, craving death, and hurting myself. I don't know. Honestly if I look back, there were times, like being dumped, or failing school, that made me upset, that made me depressed, but every time I considered hurting myself it seemed as though my mind went blank, and it just happened, and I always felt better after for no reason at all. Which scares the hell out of me to this day. I'm sorry to have even told you all this, and sincerely hope nothing comes of it for you.
However if this story is a curse, and this demon is carried in all who hear it, then I need to know. If nothing else, perhaps there is no way it could affect everyone, perhaps at least it'd be proof.

My husband (23) and I (21) have been staying at his parents house for ~6 months now while we look for a place to buy. We have a dog and they have 2. One of them is a puppy and she has accidents in the house so their solution is to take away the dogs access to the water. In my husband and I’s room we have water for our dog. The puppy has noticed, so she comes up to our room for water. I give the dogs water throughout the day when I think they probably haven’t gotten water in a bit (they always gulp it up). I’ve told my husband a few times that he needs to talk to his mom about their dogs being thirsty. Last night both of their dogs came to our room and they drank A LOT of water. It was sad to see how thirsty they were. After my husband seeing it first hand he told his mom and she said she had water out but the puppy knocked it over and made a mess(idk why she put it on the floor bc they have a food/water stand). So basically she still wants to put the water up. How do I tell her that this is unhealthy for the dogs and needs to give them full access to water? Is it even my place to say something?

I want to preface this by saying I’m interested in a discussion about what value widow can bring moving forward relative to other snipers or sniper-like heroes, this isn’t a complaint post and I’m not really trying to make or get opinions on if the patch is good or bad (there is lots of that already in the OW threads).
————————————————————————
With widows range being cut roughly in half for full damage, and about 40% (I think) for squishy kill shots, are there still going to be any situations in game where it’s better to have a widow than an Ashe?
I mean like maps, team comp, enemy comp, etc where a widow pick actually provides more value (or potential value) assuming skill levels and all are the same across the heroes.
I’ve seen a lot of mixed comments regarding this, which I guess is expected given the polarized views on Widow in general - ranging from “this won’t make any difference” to “she’s a throw pick now”
Personally I think she doesn’t have any realistic advantages over Ashe anymore, because even with the midrange 1 shot potential she’s forced to take harder shots, in less forgiving conditions, and with much less ability to defend herself when compared to someone like Ashe. Especially with the similarity in their aim, anyone who can land a consistent headshot from Widows new range could just as easily hand the viper scope into hip combo with Ashe and get the same kill. Meanwhile Ashe can provide more value throughout the game with higher damage output, dynamite, and coach gun.
I imagine there will be specific situations where widow could be better, like a specific bend on a map or something, but I don’t see it being more than that.
What are your thoughts?

TWBS Previous Next First
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---Simone’s perspective---
---Thursday, 4th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
---Southern England---
“So… let me get this straight…” I say, frowning at the pair before me “…Within an hour of landin’, you…” I point at the tall, dark haired boy “…were bitten by a king brown snake and were laid up for the next two days, unable to contribute more than advice to Reid while she did all the heavy liftin’… You weren’t able to call an evac because, between the two of you, you’d managed to leave the beacon you should have had here in Graffham… and you think I should pass you for that, do you Privates?”
“Yes, Ma’am!” answers the redhead.
“Why should I pass you for that, Reid?”
“We fulfilled the terms of the assignment: We survived the full five days in the environment we were dropped in using only the allowed equipment and without calling for an emergency evac, Ma’am.” answers the Scot, straight faced, somehow.
“You admit that you would have called an evac if you could have, Private?”
“Yes, Ma’am… but we couldn’t so we didn’t.”
“You admit that it was your own shared stupidity that meant that you didn’t have a beacon with you when you went, Privates?” I ask, drily.
“I… don’t believe lack of stupidity was a requirement of the test, Ma’am.” answers Reid, cheekily.
“Guess again, Private! Lack of stupidity is always a requirement in the Military! Stupid Soldiers are dead Soldiers!” I correct, sternly.
“My mistake, Ma’am.” apologises Reid, hastily.
My anger subsides as I say “Buuut… as you say… you did make it out alive… you didn’t call an evac, even if only as a result of bein’ stranded by stupidity… and…” I take a sniff and then chuckle “…it certainly smells like you two are gettin’ along better than you were when you left…(!)”
“I’m… not sure what…?” starts Reid but I cut her off.
“Don’t play dumb, Private!… You’ve tried to wash it off but I’m half Tshwane… you can’t fool this nose!”
The pair shift uncomfortably before I reassure them “Relax! You’re not breakin’ any rules… So long as this relationship doesn’t negatively affect either of your performances, we have no issue… I also trust this means you two won’t be at eachother’s throats so much… At least, in public… don’t really much care what you’re into doin’ in the privacy of a bedroom… or a cave, as the case may be(!)”
“I think it’s safe to say our rivalry is a thing of the past, Ma’am.” provides Taylor.
“Or shifted onto much friendlier terms, at least…” smirks Reid.
“Good…” I turn to Taylor “…Taylor, now you’ve reached the age of majority, you’re eligible to be moved to a bunk in a shared room…”
His face falls, clearly having hoped I’d forget about that.
“…but…” I continue, causing him to perk back up “…I’m a busy woman and assignin’ you one is able to remain low on my list of priorities… so long as you (or Reid) aren’t givin’ me the impression that you might benefit from more rest, that is!… Do we understand eachother, Taylor?”
The boy gives me a rare smile and answers “We understand eachother perfectly, Ma’am.”
“Good!… You are dismissed, Privates.”
The two of them turn to go.
“Oh, and, Privates?”
They both turn to look at me, expectantly.
“Happy New Year…”
---Esme’s perspective---
---Friday, 5th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
“I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping in a conjugal room this whole time!” I grin at the handsome man, currently acting as my mattress in the broomcupboard sized space.
“Technically, it wasn’t a conjugal room… it was designated as a private room for me, since I was a minor…” he smiles without opening his eyes.
“Oh, aye(!) Let’s protect the wee baby boy from any indecency by putting him in the rooms where he’ll be able to hear all the sex through the paper thin walls, every night(!) I see no issue here(!)”
He shakes his head “It wasn’t that bad…”
“Oh it wasn’t, was it(?)… You nasty little perv(!)” I smirk, mischievously.
“Most of the time… people are some combination of embarrassed and considerate enough to keep the noise down… It’s rare that I would have out and out screamers next door… That’s all I meant…”
“Attention all:…” comes Sands’ voice, making the morning wake up call over the PA “…It is now 0630hrs… Time to wake up!… After breakfast, you are to assemble in the yard. Father Christmas came by last night to drop off some late presents for all of you(!)”
---Oskar’s perspective---
I find the crate that has my name on, shaped (ghoulishly) somewhat like one of the wooden boxes that Christians bury their dead in.
I pick it up and carry it aside… it’s heavy!
Looking around for someone who’s done using one of the crowbars that are being passed around, I make eyecontact with Milligan.
He raises the length of metal he holds, proffering it to me.
I take it, appreciatively, and thrust the claw end between the box and its lid.
What is inside does nothing to dispel the ghoulishness of the container’s outward appearance…
The box contains a humanoid figure, almost my exact height and build, rendered in jet black metal with a rippling, wootz pattern.
“Fresh off the forges of Ivaldason and Sons’ Durasteel Foundry, Iceland…” announces Sands, strolling through the throngs of people opening their respective crates “…Between 20 and 30kg each, dependin’ on your proportions… Wearin’ this armour, you become nearly as close to indestructible as it is possible to get without enterin’ the realm of divinity!… These suits are bulletproof and bombproof!… They do have some limitations… they’ll not, for instance, protect you from a long drop and a sudden stop! Your organs will still be rendered into slurry in that case… Neither’ll they protect you from bein' cut in half with a plasmasword!… From now on, you’ll wear these from dawn to dusk! Classes may be taken with your helmets off… Durin’ PT, however, you WILL wear them in their entirety!… It’ll be hard to begin with but, after less time than you think, your bodies’ll have acclimatised to the extra weight… and you’ll find movin’ in these almost as easy as movin’ out of ’em!… This mornin’s workshop’ll be an instructional on how to properly don, remove and maintain your armour!… Do please give it all your attention!"
---Esme’s perspective---
---Tuesday, 9th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
This is HELL!
The armour is perfectly fitting and nicely padded… but it’s so fucking heavy to wear that I can’t think about much more than how sweaty I am and how much my muscles ache from the days I’ve already been wearing it!
Sands said we’d get used to it sooner than we thought but, so far, I feel like exhaustion is making me worse, day on day!
I had to go and sleep in my dormroom last night because I was just too exhausted to engage in any… extracurricular exercise with Oskar(!)
He was quite understanding about it… A little too understanding… I wish he’d seemed at least a touch disappointed!
Back in the present moment, the black metal giant (boosted to over 2m by the height he gains from the boots and helmet) rams the tip of his training sword into my solar plexus… the one upside is that I’ll probably get less bruises wearing this armour!
“Hey…!”
“You’re dead, Esme…” is the only answer that comes from that expressionless helmet.
“You not feel like going a little easier on me now, Oskar?!… I am your girlfriend!!!”
“Caring more about you makes me wish to see you better able to protect yourself… So, no… I’m not going to coddle you…”
“Perfectly logical…(!)” I mock in a flat, midAtlantic accent, holding up my right palm, the ring and little finger splayed from the middle and index.
“Change partner!” shouts Sands.
Not too long ago, my heart would have leapt at that instruction and I would have utterly squashed any feeling of disappointment… Now, however, it causes my already flagging morale to vaporise!
Of course… it makes sense… If you only ever fight with one partner, you only ever learn to fight one way…
I shuffle along while Oskar stays where he is.
The next partner I’m up against is Kilroy… I might have a chance of holding my own against him at least!
---
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TWBS Previous Next First

Part 19 Like Angels Falling from the Heavens (Part 1) (Part 18)
​
"Dropping in 3… 2… 1. Mission initiated." A synthetic voice read the words off of Tensebwse's HUD and his vision was suddenly filled with the familiar sight of metal and polymer panels rushing past him. “Target ETA, 8 minutes.”
​
“Alright, ladies!” Tens shouted into his comms-link to the Qui’ztar warriors who were about to experience why the Hell Divers had that name. “Hold on tight! When those retro-thrusters kick, they kick hard!”
​
"Hold on to what?" The deep yet feminine that called back was equal parts excited and nervous, and even held hints of sarcasm.
​
"Consciousness." Tens chuckled as he felt himself slowly being pushed towards the planets below.
​
Despite not feeling too much pressure himself, the Nishnabe warrior was keeping a close eye on both his own acceleration gauge as well as the reads out from his trainees. With his suit and control-AI acting as the central node of the networked machines, he had immediate access to the external and internal sensors of every mech he was in formation with. And, like a good pack leader, Ten wasn't at the front of the group, charging ahead, and possibly going beyond the physical limits of the Qui’ztar warrior women. Rather, he was at the back of the formation, letting the first-time jumpers set a pace they could endure, and watching for signs of overexertion. Even though each woman was nearing the absolute peak of their athletic abilities, the strain they were about to feel would be unlike anything they had ever experienced.
​
"This isn't that bad." It was Hutloxa who made the remark while sounding a bit too confident.
​
"We're still on the insertion-burn!" Tens fully laughed into the comms. "Verify trajectory and shield integrity, ladies. It's now or never!"
​
"Drop zone marked, call out when verified!" Captain Marzima's commanding tone was that of an ardent professional as she knew her commanding officer was watching them carefully.
​
"Drop Mech 1, confirmed!" A cacophony of voices began calling out in sequence until completing at number 19.
​
"All units confirmed, Lieutenant!" Marz was doing her job with the precision of a trained expert.
​
"Excellent, Captain!" Though the praise wasn’t necessary, Tens was starting to get excited as he saw the timer for the retro-thrusters slowly counting down. It had been months since his last time falling into hell and he missed the adrenaline rush. “Remember ladies, you need to keep breathing. If you stop breathing you will pass out. The mechs can and will land on their own if they need to but I need you to stay with me for the whole drop. Do you understand me?!?”
​
“Sir, yes, sir!” All 20 voices shouted back through the comms in perfect synchronization.
​
Tens could feel as his heart rate picked up in anticipation as his mind became perfectly clear. Only a few hundred meters below him he could clearly see the highlighted outlines of each of the mechanized walkers he was following towards the ground below. Judging by the angle of their approach, the direction of the planet's rotation, and current placement of the day-night terminator line, they would be hitting their drop zone just as the sun would begin to rise. Though that wasn’t necessarily the intention when planning out this training drop onto the Kyim'ayik’s new colony world, the Nishnabe warrior was looking forward to seeing the sunrise on a new planet. As he watched his countdown time slowly inch closer and closer to the fun part, he hoped that even if some of the women got sick, they would enjoy falling into hell and then being greeted by the morning sun.
​
“Remember what I said, just keep breath-” Tens almost had his own breath knocked out of lungs as his retro-thrusters began to fire. With a glee none of the women were expecting to hear as they were all rocked by the same forces, the young Nishnabe warrior let out a call of unbridled excitement. “Eeee!”
​
"What! The! Fuck!" One if the women shouted into the comms though, through the strain, it wasn't clear who.
​
"You got this!" Tens was able to get out in a surprisingly clear tone. "We're only just over 30 m/s2. This isn't even an emergency drop!"
​
"Come ladies!" Marz's voice, despite the pressure on her body, was just as strong and confident as it was at the very beginning. "You're deathworlders! You're Qui'ztar! You will endure!"
​
"You'll build up a tolerance with more drops." Tens added, his ear to ear grin audible as he tried to keep the women going. "Sound off! I need to hear you're still with me!"
​
"Drop… ugh! Drop mech 1! Still breathing!" The first women called out through labored breaths.
​
"Drop Mech 2! This is great!" The next voice, in stark contrast to the first, sounded like she was having the time of her life.
​
In sequence, each of the women called out their number and condition, some showing intense strain and others were clearing having a grand time. It didn't matter to Tens if some of them would need more training, or may not even be cut out for these kinds of missions in the future. The only thing the man cared about at this moment was making sure that they all landed safely. Though it only took a few seconds for each woman to signal they were still conscious and aware, and one a second or two between each one speaking, they were burning through the counter down timer just as quickly as they were beginning to burn through the upper atmosphere of the planet below them. Just before Tens's view of the deep blue oceans beneath him were obscured by the building ball of fire and the blue shimmering from his active shielding, a quaint chain of islands caught his eye. When Captain Marzima finally confirmed that she too was still conscious and able to maintain her professional demeanor, the countdown showed less than six minutes until they touched down.
​
Like angels of fury falling from the heavens, the 21 mechanized combat walker suits tore their way through the building layers of atmosphere, reentry plasma building with each passing moment. The preprogrammed descent path, having been calculated long in advance, coupled with the lack of incoming fire from the ground to ensured the group of first time jumpers and their experienced instructor had no need for evasive actions. In front of them was a clean and clear route, save for a few sparse clouds, which would see them land directly at the chosen site for the new Kyim'ayik colony. Even though something in the back of the man's mind was telling him not to trust the Arnehilians on the planet below, the idea that even the gray demons who had stolen his ancestors from their home weren't all evil warmed his soul. As the formation of mechs came closer and closer to their target, continuing their dramatic descent as if they were an unstoppable force sent by the Gods, the coastal clearing they were heading towards was highlighted by their HUDs.
​
"By the Matria- oof!" One of the women called out with a mixture of giggling and exhaustion. "It doesn't let up!"
​
"Just a couple more minutes!" Tens couldn't help the fact his volume was raised. None of them could. All he could do was shout words of encouragement to spur on the few who were still having trouble acclimating to the strain. "I know you're strong! I know you’re capable! Just keep breathing and you'll be the first Qui’ztar to see a sunrise over the shores of new colony world!"
​
"Yac'tloma! Chuiom! Are you still with me?!?" Marz's slightly more intense yell caused Tens to trigger the cockpit-view of both of the pilots who got called out.
​
"Yes, Captain!" Yac responded almost instantly and with a surprising amount of strength. "I think… mmm… I'm finally getting used to it."
​
"Chuiom!" Marzima shouted again just as a hologram of the Qui’ztar in question popped up on Tens's HUD.
​
"I'll wake her up." Tens chuckled as he sent a signal to Chu's mech to give her some mild stimulation.
​
"Fucker!" The woman was instantly awake and Tens could see through the holographic display that she wasn't happy. "Did someone just shock me?"
​
"No napping till after the debrief!" Tens retorted. "Your vitals are fine and we only got a minute or so left. Keep breathing and stay with me!"
​
Various readouts across Tens’s HUD were running through numbers faster than the holographic display could refresh. From altitude to effective airspeed, the Nishnabe warrior could see that everything was going perfectly and, despite some of his trainees showing signs of serious exhaustion, he was about as happy as he could be at that moment. Though one of the women did stop breathing for just a moment too long, and needed a bit of prodding to wake back up, the health data the man was cycling through indicated everyone seemed fine, no bones had been broken, and the strain hadn’t caused any unforeseen injuries. Regardless of how strong and capable he knew all of these women to be, and the fact that inertial dampers were reducing the felt forces to about a third of what they should be, each of these Qui’ztar deserved to relax after this. With only a few thousand meters per second of relative velocity left to burn off, and the retro-thrusters maintaining a cool 80 meters per second squared of deceleration, they would all get their moment of peace very soon.
​
“Is that the Arnehilian settlement?” Hutloxa’s voice cut in through the comms. “It looks really small.”
​
“Yeup, looks like.” Tens answered while bringing the relevant data up on his HUD. “Just a couple bigger buildings that look like greenhouses, some smaller ones that look like civilian structures, and really simple solar heating and wind energy systems.”
​
“My systems are telling me there aren’t any defensive systems.” Another of the warrior women added with hints of both confusion and doubt in her voice. “I’ve never seen Grays without some kind of weapons.”
​
“Remember the brief!” Marz shouted into the brief. “These aren’t Grays, they’re Greens. They’re entirely peaceful and they only have a few personal defense weapons that would barely break our skin.”
​
“I don’t -ugh-” It sounded like Chu was still struggling with the pressure she was under but was beginning to cope. “I don’t like this. Feels like a trap.”
​
“Their Mayor said he’s tried to keep his people clear of us.” Despite having more reservation about this situation than he cared to admit, Tens almost hoped he would have the opportunity to meet one of these supposedly peaceful Arnehilians. “But we’ll find out if he actually did it. According to the Admiral, the guy is a total softy and doesn’t like telling people what to do.”
​
“The ground is coming up fast!” One of the women nervously shouted as Tens noticed his relative velocity gauge showed the mach cones surrounding the mechs were about to dissipate and they would be on the ground in the next few seconds.
​
“Congratulations, ladies!” Tens shouted in reply as he saw the first mech halt its descent less than a meter off the ground before its massive metal feet could impact the soil. One by one each of the mech stopped just before impact and gently set themselves on to the surface of the planet. “That was your first trip into hell and I hope you enjoyed it!”
​
There was a chorus of cheers, sighs of relief, and what even sounded like a few tears as 19 of the 20 warrior women began to celebrate their accomplishment. As each of the mechanized walkers shed their re-entry assistance systems, the durable and combat tested thrusters impacted the ground in a series of dull thuds, and complete physical control over the suits was given over the pilots. While a many of the over five meter tall goliaths of metal and poly ceramics jumped up and down, throwing their fist in to air in excitement, some of the others had taken up more leaned forward positions to represent the posture their pilots would be in if they were out of their suits and catching their breath. As the orange and purple sunrise crested the horizon, the Nishnabe warrior couldn’t help but take a moment to simply enjoy the scene around him. Though Tens knew the celebration could and would likely keep going until the recovery shuttle landed to pick them up, he couldn’t help but notice that one of the mech seemed to be staring at the treeline of the clearing.
​
Quickly interfacing with the sensor system networked into his own, it soon became quite obvious what Captain Marzima was staring at. Just a few dozen meters away, just at the edge of the treeline surrounding the clearing, were four beings which were quickly highlighted on Tens’s HUD and registered as Arnehilian biosignatures. With a quick zoom and directed scan, it became immediately obvious that a small group of children had stuck away from settlement to watch the mechs land. Though they looked quite clean, well fed, and properly cared for, Tens couldn’t shake the feeling that these small, dull-gray beings were somehow different from the silver-skinned bastards whom he hated. It may have been the more healthy, full-figured appearance of their more human-like frames, the simple olive-drab clothing they wore, or possibly even just the more natural appearance of their skin, but they didn’t seem evil at all. Despite the somewhat suspicious nature of beings trying to keep themselves hidden, a smile formed on the Nishnabe warrior’s face as he walked his mech over towards them.
​
“Hey kids! I can see you!” Tens shouted through his suit’s external speaker system which prompted the children to try to duck behind cover. “The sensors already have you tagged as innocent. You don’t have to hide.”
​
“Report.” Admiral Atxika’s commanding voice cut into the comms link even though she already knew exactly what was going on.
​
“Ah, just some kids.” Tens quickly replied with an unbothered tone. “Probably got told to stay away and then did what kids do.”
​
"I'll contact Mayor Harideth and have him come collect these wayward youth." Atxika replied a bit softer. "Make sure they're safe and uninjured. This planet does have its share of predators."
​
"You got it." There was real excitement from the warrior as he closed the distance to where the children were still cowering behind cover. "Hey kids, are you alright over there?"
​
The only reply Tens received as he stopped just a few of his mechs long paces away from the treeline was silence. Despite their attire blending surprisingly well with the lush green forest that surrounded them, the children's attempt to hide behind a large bush was weak at worst and endearing at best. Seeing as they were obviously still afraid of the giant metal machine that was standing just a few meters away, Tens took the initiative, lowered his mech down to a kneeling position, and triggered the cockpit opening procedure.
​
"Don't be scared." Tens shouted with a caring voice from his now open cockpit. "I've got some snacks for you if you come out."
​
"But… you're an angel…" One of the children was slowly lifting their head above the bush as they spoke.
​
"And angels only fall on tyrants and oppressors!" Another child added with an absolutely adorable, squeaky voice while joining the first with their head poking above the bush.
​
Tens shifted his eyes between the two, unsure of how to respond, but very glad that both children seemed perfectly fine beyond their fear and apprehension. As the other two slowly rose, the Nishnabe warrior opened a small compartment in his cockpit and moved to pull out the promised snacks.
​
"We… we aren't oppressors…" The child who spoke first was clearly still very concerned about why these angels had fallen so close to her settlement. "Are we?…"
​
"No, no, no!" Tens quickly answered in the sweetest voice he could muster. "You are innocent children, little ones! You have done nothing wrong. Now, you can eat candied fruit, right?"
​
"Yes!" The two youngest children shouted in perfect, ecstatic unison.
​
"But…" The first child, though she was now eying the small packets of treats that Tens had in his hand, obviously still had her reservations. "If we aren't oppressors… Why did you fall so close to our village? Are there oppressors nearby?"
​
"Ooohhh!" The realization of what was scaring the young girl hit the man like a falling brick. "No, no, no, don't worry, sweetheart. We're just training. Angels have to practice falling so we can do our jobs perfectly when we are called to."
​
"Huh…" The gray, scaly skinned little girl only looked concerned for a second longer before a huge smile formed across her face and her large blue eyes began to sparkle. "I guess that makes sense. And you all were so beautiful as you fell! Like a wing of fire falling to the ground with the fury of the loving Old Gods!"
​
"The Old Gods?" Tens half asked while motioning for the children to approach and collect their snacks. "But, more importantly, what are your names, little ones?"
​
"I'm Valerovum." The first child, who was obviously the leader of this group, announced as she guided the rest from behind the bush and towards Tens and his mech. "And this is Teliuva, Carmoni, and Jokiat."
​
"It is a pleasure to meet you all." The man bowed slightly before handing the snack packets to Val who then distributed them to her posse. "Do your parents know you're out here? I'm sure they're worried about you."
​
"Umm…." Val and her gang's eyes grew wide as they realized they might get in trouble for wandering so far away from the safety of their village. However, as if on cue, a new voice called out from the forest behind them.
​
"Valerovum! Teliuva! Carm-" It sounded like a man was desperately crying out for the young children.
​
"Over here!" Tens shouted back as loud as he could. "They're safe!"
​
In the few moments it took for rustling of branches and leaves to close the distance to where Tens and the children were waiting, the kids had already opened their snacks and begun savoring the sweet treats as if it were the very first time they had ever eaten something so sweet. When the olive-drap clad Arnehilian Mayor burst through the bramble, he quickly came to a frozen stop as he saw the four children eating their snacks in front of the Nishnabe warrior and his mechanized walker.
​
"Mayor Harideth!" Jokiat, the smallest of the four children, ran over the older being, wrapped one of his legs in a tight hug, and then offered the packet of candied fruit up towards him. "This angel has the best snacks I've ever had!"
​
"They aren't-" The Mayor began before quickly cutting himself off. "Oh, is that right, Jokiat?"
​
"Yes, yes! You have to try one!" The small child raised the packet of snacks even further towards the Mayor’s dull-gray face.
​
"They're just candied fruits." Tens clarified after seeing the hints of apprehension on Harideth's face. "They're high in vitamins and sugar content."
​
“Tha- Thank you!” Harideth took one of the slices of dried, semi-hardened fruit from the package then gave Tens a polite bow before patting Jok on the head lovingly. As he took a delicate bit of the sweet treat, his eyes suddenly grew just as wide as the children’s and he looked like he was eating the most delicious thing he had ever tried.
​
“Good, right?” The Nishnabe warrior was doing his best to be friendly towards these members of a species that, in any other circumstance, he would have already killed. “I always keep a few packets in my mech just in case I get hungry on a mission.”
​
“This is wonderful!” The mayor confirmed before bowing again and then redirecting his attention towards the group of children. “Now children, we were worried sick about you! There are predators in this forest. Think about how your mothers would cry if something bad were to happen to you. Let’s get you back to the village before one of those predators finds us.”
​
“I can escort y’all, if yah want.” Tens chimed in with a genuinely pleasant tone and smile on his face. “I wouldn’t want anything happening to these adorable little ones. If there are predators in this forest, they wouldn’t dare try to attack y’all if me and Loud Bark are with you.”
​
“Oh, that-” Harideth was about to respectfully decline when Jok interrupted him.
​
“The angels protect the innocent!” The small child’s shout was quickly followed up by the rest of the children repeating the phrase in near perfect unison. “The angels protect the innocent!”
​
“That…” The Mayor looked down into Jok’s eyes and saw a sense of hope and serenity that touched his soul before he turned back towards Tens. “That would be quite kind and generous of you. I would truly appreciate it.”
​
“Tsss! Don’t worry about it!” Tens was all smiles at the prospect of being able to witness a truly peaceful Arnehilian settlement. “It’s gonna be another 30 to 40 minutes before the recovery shuttle gets here, another 20 to 30 minutes to load up all my trainees, and then they can just come pick me up from your village. Besides, angels protect the innocent, right?”

This friend has been the most unconditionally warm, supportive, nonjudgemental, caring, kind, and loving person I've ever had in my life. He's been my absolute best friend for years, since we were in elementary school. He's reliably been there for me when nobody else has, for all the important stuff, and always made time for me. Every birthday, when I came out as lesbian, breakups, through my parents divorce, he visited me in the mental hospital... he knows pretty much all of my deepest and darkest secrets.
I always worried we might drift apart after high school, but never thought it'd happen before we graduated. It's the summer between junior and senior year. He suddenly became very distant, cold, closed off, very standoffish, rude... refusing to talk, flaking on in person plans. Everything changed out of nowhere literally overnight one day. I've been trying to figure out what's wrong - all he says is he's fine and doesn't want to talk to me. He's perfectly fine with all of our other mutual friends, just not me. I don't know what I did wrong or what happened, and this is genuinely shocking because he's usually a very open communicative person.

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DISCLAIMER
I almost didn’t post this. Not because I think it’s too wild or doesn’t make any sense. In fact, quite the opposite. The information I present here, which is the result of countless hours spent re-watching videos, listening to audio, and cross-referencing official information, is something that now seems to me to be far too viable not to be correct. I have actually tried to prove this theory wrong and… well basically I can’t. So, please bear this in mind as you read. This could end up being one of those rare occasions when we’re actually onto something. Either way, I hope you enjoy the post.
First point; this is going to be a long post. Given the subject matter, it needs to be. Second point; I have not added any images or videos directly into the post but have instead included a great many links embedded within the text itself. This should ensure that the post is no longer than it needs to be but should still allow you sufficient opportunity to fully scrutinize every part of my theory, so that you can determine for yourself whether or not you think it holds weight.
I have organised all of the information under specific headings designed to make everything more accessible. Each section focuses on a particular aspect of the main theory. Even if you think that some of what you are reading may not be relevant, I can assure you that everything written here has been included as an important part of a much larger puzzle, and so I would advise that you patiently make your way through the entirety of the post. In an effort to ensure that your time invested here is appropriately rewarded, and in the spirit of preserving the scientific method, I have tried to keep flavor text and blind speculation down to an absolute minimum.
Note that I will be listing various aspects of this post as being confirmed correct or incorrect as and when we have official information to verify such facts. So here we are, after five long years of waiting, the inevitable release of Starfield, like the event horizon of some nearby black hole, is almost upon us. With the Showcase now a mere 24 hours away, it is time for us to take a look at what makes this particular game so special, as well as discovering just how we will be given the means to fly among the stars.
And so, without further ado, let us begin.
Hitchhiker's Guide
From watching gameplay footage, and also listening to various devs talk about Starfield, we know that at some along the early part of the story, we will find ourselves on board a Constellation Starship, which is appropriately named Frontier. With us on the ship is VASCO, an adorable robot assistant who will eventually become one of our possible companions. But how did we even end up on this ship? Well firstly, I do not believe that Frontier is our ship, or at least not at first. And so, we’re probably here in the capacity of a ‘guest’ of some kind, or more likely, a hitchhiker.
If we take a look at this scene, we first hear a male shouting “that’s the Crimson Fleet!” and then a female saying “Everybody get ready!” After this, we can see that the group we are with is attacked. We already know that we uncover some kind of unknown artifact whilst mining for ore near the beginning of the Main Quest, and that the aforementioned Crimson Fleet is essentially an organised collective of space pirates. But what we don’t know is why they attacked us. This is not something I will be diving into in this particular post, although I do have some theories about this. But the relevance of the series of events here described cannot be understated, as they seem to be the launching point for our entry into Constellation and the adventures that follow.
Next, if we look a little further, we can see that this seemingly-important member of Constellation is not with us when we arrive at their Headquarters on Jemison, which suggests that he may have been killed during the above mentioned attack. Also note that, in-spite of not having a voiced protagonist this time round, we can clearly hear somebody talking over Frontier’s comms system, which means that there must be a designated pilot. Given the fact that we don’t see anyone who is confirmed as being the pilot (although it may actually be this person), it is safe to assume that this designated individual was with us during the flight but was first injured in the attack on the planet’s surface and was then taken to Medical Bay after we successfully land on Jemison.
It is my belief that, after perhaps being exposed to some kind of energy pulse from a grenade or something similar, the first member of Constellation we see was outright killed (hence why we are then asked to join up ourselves, perhaps to take over his role). The pilot, however, clearly survived as we can hear him talking to Control over the comms system during what is actually an extended two-way conversation, but I think that his vision was somehow compromised so that, even though he is able to speak, he is temporarily unable to see. The good news about this most unfortunate situation is that it opens the door for us to quickly step into the hot seat and, with the pilot acting as our guide, we will experience our very first Starfield flight tutorial.
Radio Chatter
If you listen to the beginning of both the Official Teaser Trailer and Official Gameplay Reveal for Starfield, you will hear both halves of the radio conversation I have referenced above, or at least the parts of it that Bethesda have given us so far. The first of these is spoken by somebody being referred to as Control, and the second by Frontier’s pilot. I previously posted a link to an audio I made and put up on Soundcloud, which gives us all of the confirmed parts of this conversation carefully spliced together and enhanced for clarity. Note that some of the audio, despite these enhancements, is a little hard to make out.
The final, in-game conversation is going to be a fair bit longer than what we have here and will be based on the specific processes that are required before attempting a Grav Jump. I don’t think we will hear this conversation every time we perform a Jump (especially given that our protagonist does not speak), but the first time we experience this early step-out moment, a detailed and appropriate pre-launch conversation will only serve to enhance what I’m sure will be an awe-inspiring experience.
Note that, at the end of this post, I have provided a link to a written transcript detailing what I think is being said in the full version of the above conversation. In the meantime, here is a breakdown of the confirmed parts of this audio. This is slightly different from the version I previously posted, due to new evidence clarifying exactly what is being said here. I have left line-spaces to help show where the missing parts of the audio will eventually go:
PILOT: "Control this is Constellation Starship Frontier."
CONTROL: "Constellation Starship Frontier, we have you on scanners."
PILOT: "We're ready to start on your signal."
CONTROL: "Performing Road Systems check. Helium-3 tanks, check. Seals are intact."
PILOT: "Maintaining Exit Vector course, Steady 'till Ready."
CONTROL: "We are still go."
PILOT: "Coordinates input, plotting Jump course."
CONTROL: "We read you Constellation."
PILOT: "Sky-Bus is converged, we're looking good."
CONTROL: "Jemison route looks good."
PILOT: "Allocating Auxiliary Reactor Power."
CONTROL: "Prepare for departure. Graviton Loop Array Spool, check."
PILOT: "System checks are green across the board."
CONTROL: "Your space Lane is clear."
PILOT: "Grav Jump commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."
Road-Trip
At first, this seems like a typical, albeit futuristic version of an Air Traffic Control conversation. After all, much of what is being said does sound very familiar, and the rest seems appropriate to Starfield’s apparent Hard Science Fiction theme. But it’s only when you start digging a little deeper that you realize that something else is going on here as well.
Note the following terms taken from the above transcript: Road, Exit, Course, Coordinates, Bus, Route, Departure and Lane. All these words share a very noticeable common theme. They are all in some way related to Road Networks. Note also the phrase “green across the board," which sounds like it could also be a reference to Traffic Lights.
Zooming Along
Next, let’s look at this map, which features the home of a certain Software Development Company you may have heard of. If you zoom out a fair bit, you will see two large Cities, namely Washington and Baltimore. Zoom out a little more, and you can now see the cities of Richmond to the South and Pittsburgh to the North-West. Zoom back in over any of these four major cities, and you will see that there are many more smaller locations within each of the city limits.
Now scroll the map over to any of the areas outside of these cities, and you will find a multitude of other important locations. These include residential areas, airports, medical facilities, sports and leisure facilities, research facilities, manufacturing facilities, tech companies, supermarkets), hotels, places of worship, and many others. All the above locations are important in one way of another to the continued functioning of our society, and all can be placed within two distinct categories. These are Population Centers and Infrastructure.
You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat
Now imagine that there has been some kind of catastrophic flood in this area, and all these locations, although somehow miraculously intact, are now separated from each other as a series of individual islands in the middle of a newly formed ‘ocean’. Suddenly, the existing Road Network, along with any cars, busses, and other road vehicles, would become useless. You would need to use a completely different system, one designed to properly accommodate these changes, which would of course have to incorporate such elements as harbors, shipping routes, and vehicles capable of travelling along a waterway.
Now let’s zoom out again, this time further. Much, much, further. Each location has now been transformed into either a planet or a moon, spread across various star systems covering a vast region of space. Each one of these planets and moons will have its own individual features, resources, possible inhabitants, and infrastructure requirements. With such a quantum leap in terms of scale, if we now wanted to travel between these locations, which could in many cases end up being several light years apart, we are going to need something far bigger in terms of scale, complexity, and technology.
Shown In 60 Seconds
During the first ever 60 seconds of Starfield footage we all saw, shown in the form of the Official Announcement Teaser at the end of BE3 on June 11th 2018 (which redditor InToddWeTrust2023 has very nicely referenced here), we were given some surprisingly important clues which now form the cornerstone of this theory. Not only have these clues stacked up with every consecutive trailer released, as well as many of the other official videos and various other snippets of information, but their sheer level of consistency places them well outside the realm of possible coincidence.
Some of these additional clues were given to us in the two videos referenced above which contain the comms audio. The second of these two videos, namely the Official Gameplay Reveal, dropped, as would be expected, at the end of last year’s Showcase on June 12th 2022. Some of the most crucial information we have been given to date regarding my theory is actually contained in the 70 seconds shown before Todd even begins to speak. We will discuss the relevance of all of this a little further on in the post.
Lo-go/no go
First, some Space related terminology. In Mission Control speak, a Launch Status Check, also known as a go/no go poll, is part of a very carefully designed system implemented by US Space Agencies to ensure maximum safety and the best possible survival chance of both the ship and its crew prior to launch. This, or something similar, will undoubtedly form an integral part of the pre-launch, or rather, pre-Jump procedures incorporated into Starfield, especially given what we know in relation to its specific influences, attention to detail, and focus on realism.
But let's look for a moment at a different type of launch. Let's look at the process of carefully managing the flow of information when you are launching a long-awaited, multi-million-dollar triple-A video game and you happen to be a major player. With the combined might of Bethesda, Zenimax, and now Microsoft, there is clearly a great deal of scope in terms of how they were able to execute all of the steps involved in this process. One critically important factor, and one that has been masterfully implemented in the promotion of Starfield, is the use of familiar iconography.
If we look at the iconography seen during the promotion of Starfield, we can see that there are two main elements. These are the circular Starfield logo, first unveiled in 2018, and of course the recently updated Bethesda Games Studios logo, which has existed in various iterations since around 2006. Both of these share a common, simplistic yet effective design, and the BGS logo in particular is now light years ahead of its original design as seen on box art and in promotional materials for The Elder Scrolls VI Oblivion. At the time of Oblivion’s release, the long-term use of this particular logo, which incorporates the now familiar Fallout Vault Door, was a little uncertain due to restrictions with the associated licence (more on this below). But once this matter had been resolved, it would make a lot of sense that they would then develop this logo into the much sharper, more modern version we see today.
Licenced to Fly
Way back in April of 2007, Bethesda realized one of their biggest long-term business goals by finally securing the full rights to the highly acclaimed Fallout series. Prior to this, in 2004, they had been granted limited rights which would allow them to develop Fallout 3 and then two additional games, but they clearly wanted full and unrestricted access to the franchise and all of its assets. Since this time, in addition to Fallout 3, we have seen the release of Fallout New Vegas, Fallout 4, and Fallout 76, as well as a number of smaller projects, including Fallout Shelter. This is all the proof you need to confirm the fact that, in-spite of some initial setbacks, Bethesda’s insistence on going the extra mile with regards to securing the full franchise, was most definitely worth it, and was seen by many as a landmark achievement.
Looking at the most recent entry to this ever-expanding series, namely Fallout 76, I would like to draw your attention to two of this particular game’s trailers. First, we have the Fallout 76 Official Trailer from 2018, and then The Pitt Story Trailer from 2022. In the first of these two trailers, at around the 35 second mark, we see the new BGS logo once again, and then near the end of the video we see a smaller version, neatly tucked away over on the left-hand side of the usual copyright notice. If we then look at the second trailer, at around… Hold on a second, let me rewind that a bit… wait, what?
This is where things start to get really interesting.
One Small Step
Okay, going back to the Fallout 76 trailers, although the smaller version of the BGS logo can be seen at or near the end of each of these, only the first incorporates the larger, ‘splash-screen’ version. “But why is this even important?” you may ask. “They may have simply forgotten to include this detail in the second trailer.” I can assure you that this is most certainly not the case. In fact, I am one-hundred-percent confident that this was quite intentional. I would even go as far as saying that this one, seemingly insignificant detail, actually brings us a step closer to unlocking the secrets of Starfield. Essentially, Bethesda have taken full advantage of how we all think we remember certain details, and as such, this is an example of truly expert-level hidden marketing on their part. I also believe it will form the basis of at least one of the big reveals during the showcase.
One Giant Leap
Let’s go back one more time to the Announcement Teaser and the Gameplay Reveal for Starfield. Look at how drastically different the BGS logo is in both of these videos compared to any of those used in promoting Fallout 76. What will really blow your mind here is the fact that all four of the trailers mentioned above were first shown to us during the same two Showcases we have just been discussing! In other words, the first of these videos for both Fallout 76 and Starfield were both unveiled at the 2018 Showcase, and the second of each at the 2022 Showcase. And yet each respective pair make use of drastically different versions of what we all thought was the exact same logo. This means that Starfield has been designed, from the ground up, to be viewed and experienced in a totally different way than, and completely separate from, any of Bethesda’s previous titles.
To clarify this point, after extensive research, I can confirm that this new, animated BGS logo, with the vault door rolling off to the left and then ‘opening up’ just before the text appears, has never been featured anywhere in an official capacity that is not directly related to Starfield. It is completely unique to this specific IP. This fact ties together everything we have looked at in the post so far. It also lets us see things from a completely different ‘orbital’ perspective. For example, I believe that this information gives us the real reason why Bethesda worked so hard to secure the full rights to the Fallout franchise in the way that they did. Not only did they wish to create awesome games set within the Fallout universe, but they also needed total freedom to make use of a specific part of this franchise that so that they could then incorporate it into their next, very very big, space related IP.
For Mankind
Okay. This is the part you’ve all been waiting so patiently for. This is the big reveal. For months now, perhaps even years, we have all been drip-fed the idea that Starfield is essentially “Skyrim in Space.” The reason I think that we have been told this is to misdirect us away from an intrinsic, interwoven connection between Starfield and Bethesda’s other major franchise, which is of course Fallout. But just to put your mind at rest, I do not for a nanosecond believe that the reveal will be, “We fooled you all, it’s actually Fallout in space!” no matter how cool that might at first sound.
What I do believe is that Starfield will be so different and so unique when viewed alongside anything else that Bethesda have published, that it will quite literally take your breath away. This game, the spark of which was first ignited 25 years ago, is Todd Howard’s true passion project. Everything else was simply the path he took to finally get here. This is the story he has always wanted to tell, the story of Mankind’s true legacy. And it all starts, just as it did when Interplay released the original Fallout) game back in 1997, with a familiar, but staggeringly different Vault Door.
The Vault
There is a very special and completely unique hidden Vault in Starfield. Not only is this particular Vault unlike anything you have previously seen anywhere within the Fallout universe, but it is also unlike anything you have seen in any game. Period.
This hidden Vault is actually the key to both interstellar and interplanetary travel. And it also happens to be the single biggest construction project in human history, extending across a span of almost one-hundred light years. And it is not even close to being completed, even after more than two-hundred years of construction.
This Vault is, by its very nature, completely invisible and shielded away from view. It is quite literally hidden in plain sight, and it can only be accessed through one of its specially crafted Vault Doors. But what does all of this mean for gameplay, and how does something like this even work? I’m glad you asked! Let’s strap in and prepare for launch, because we’re all in for an incredible ride.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen... to The Starfield
Entering The Starfield
The following is my own interpretation, based on scientific reasoning and a huge amount of detailed analysis, of exactly how I think this system works. It is, as ever, backed up with several links throughout, as well as additional evidence for which I shall provide a separate link at end of the post. I am expecting perhaps some differences in terms of specific details once we get hold of the final release of Starfield, but I am confident that I am at the very least well within the ballpark with all of this. Okay, here goes.
The Science Behind the Magic
Starfield is the name given to a vast network of interconnecting tunnels, spanning the entirety of the Settled Systems, providing us with a very fast and highly practical means of travelling between different planets, and even different star systems. These tunnels exist within a localized, folded state, known as Tunnel-Space. The construction of the Starfield is made possible thanks to a technological breakthrough which allows gravitational waves (or Gravitons) to be woven together to form something known as a Gravity-Tunnel, which is then stretched out and connected between any two existing stellar objects, such as two planets in a given system, of even two stars from different systems.
In order to maintain the integrity of each tunnel, it is wrapped in a special type of Exotic Matter known as Superfluid Helium. This has a number of highly unusual properties, including negative energy density and negative energy pressure. This essentially makes it the physical-space equivalent of time going in reverse, meaning that it is capable of counteracting the effects of any conventional physical force, including the gravitational pull of a black hole. As such, it will hold the structure of the Gravity-Tunnel together for an indefinite period of time over a potentially infinite distance through space.
Within the Starfield are a large number of Nodes and Junction Points. Nodes are used to connect together all of the planets in any one Star System, and Junction Points then connect different Star Systems together, making use of much larger Gravity-Tunnels that are the equivalent of Interstate Highways. Note that all flight between any given planet and any or all of its moons is handled locally, outside of the Starfield.
Because all of the stars, planets, and moons in the Settled Systems are in a constant state of flux, by which I mean their relative distance and positions) are constantly changing in respect to each other, the tunnels within the Starfield have been designed to be able to expand and contract almost infinitely so that they can accommodate any changes in these two factors depending on when, where, and how you travel.
Although the main tunnels are designed to transport people, resources, waste, and other items directly relating to either Population Centers or Infrastructure, I believe there is also a sub-system) that will allow much smaller objects, such as probes, to carry data-packets that can be upload at one location and then downloaded at another, effectively solving the problem of inoperable delays in communication between remote locations.
Inside of each Gravity-Tunnel is a bi-directional singularity, which can be switched between two opposite polarities whenever required with the help of the surrounding Exotic Matter, allowing for two-way traffic inside what is essentially a one-way system. This means that, as long as you are able to ensure the correct polarity of all connecting Nodes and Junction Points along your route (as in “Sky-Bus is converged” and “Jemison route looks good”), you will be able to travel, in theory at least, from any point A to any point B, as long as all of the required interconnections exist within the system.
When travelling through the Starfield, you will set a specific route, known as a Sky-Bus, which is a specified pathway that runs from your staring location to your destination. You will then, with the help of Starfield Control, access the tunnels using a Gating System which I will explain below. Incidentally, I believe that the accepted in-universe name for the actual transit network that we are making use of within the Starfield is the Sky-Bus Tunnel System.
Each tunnel in this system actually has two separate ‘Lanes’, one on the left for outbound traffic, and one on the right for incoming traffic. As I have explained above, each of these tunnels can only accommodate a single direction of traffic flow at any given time. And so, a safety measure had to be incorporated to prevent any accidental attempts to travel the wrong way down a tunnel and destroying yourself and your ship.
At each end of any given Node or Junction Point is a Gate. These are the ‘Vault Doors’ I have been referring to. The Gate comprises of a gigantic metal outer-ring connecting to an inner Vault Door. This Vault Door will either be at the center (closed position), or the left (open position) of the outer ring. The open/left position will allow outbound traffic to leave the orbit of the current planet they are in proximity to. To allow inbound traffic, the entire outer ring, with the Vault Door locked in place, will rotate clockwise through 180 degrees to the open/right position to allow access to the inbound Lane. When the outbound Lane is then once again required, the structure then continues to rotate in a clockwise motion until it reaches the open/left position once again. When required, the Vault Door will return to the neutral position at the center of the ring, and the tunnel will be locked.
Regarding Grav Jumps: Whenever you wish to perform a Grav-Jump, you must first request permission from Starfield Control, who will guide you through the process. Once the route is set and your Exit Gate is locked in place, by activating your ship’s Grav-Drive, along with it’s incorporated spooling system, you will first lock on to the front of the tunnel entrance.
Next, using a system similar to an Aircraft Catapult, you will be pulled into the tunnel at great speed, where the Graviton Loop Array will hold your ship in-place inside the tunnel, and will also ensure you don’t accidentally go down the wrong path. At the other end, the spooling system described above then acts as an Arresting Cable, slowing you down over a very short distance.
If all of the above is actually correct, especially the last part, then I think I will be having this on repeat in the background before Grav-Jumps!
Finally, here is the link to my additional supporting evidence and other materials, including some stuff I haven’t had a chance to really go into yet. Feel free to throw any questions at me, and I’ll do my best to answer them. In the meantime, Showcase will commence in 24 Hours…

The majority of clubs in my bag are incredibly dated and I want to build a priority list for a big upgrade (without spending hours and hours getting fitted for every club in the bag right away). Where should I start?
As title says, which clubs have benefited the most from new technology?
Some context - I was a pretty good junior player but stopped playing regularly after leaving college ~15yrs ago. This year I’m dedicated to playing more and currently handicap is low single digits (using TheGrint app so it doesn’t give me an official GHIN, says I’m a “2-4”).
Here’s what I’m gaming - I don’t hit any of them “bad” per se, so there’s no obvious place to start, but what upgrade would I benefit most from exploring first to spread the expense out??
Driver: Taylor Made Burner circa ‘09
3 wood: Titleist 975F 13.5º circa 1999 (I know people don’t like this club, but I rip it)
Hybrid: Callaway Razr 3, 21º circa 2013
Irons: Titleist 695 CB 4-PW circa 2005
Wedges: Titleist Vokey 52º, 56º, 60º (all from ~2021, so these are still good)
Putter: Scotty Cameron Santa Fe Tei3 circa 2007: you’ll have to pry this from my cold dead hands
[edit: formatting]

I always wondered why we were never able to use this staircase in school, but the teachers, staff and the headmaster were able to use them. I never knew where the bottom of the staircase was, because I always saw the teachers walking up the stairs but never walking down the stairs. In every assembly, the headmaster ordered us not to use the staircase, though we already knew not to.
One time, the class clown said he was going to go down the staircase that we weren’t supposed to use, and our physics teacher grabbed him and she screamed at him to not go down there. He ended up sitting back down, snickering as some students were whispering to each other and some exchanged confused glances with one another.
This made me more fixated on knowing more about the staircase. I’d wander around the school, looking to find where the bottom of the staircase was, but I’d never find it. I’d spend my break time asking different people about what they know about the staircase, and if they knew any rumors about them. Every rumor they’d say, I’d write down in my notebook. One rumor someone said was that a student in the 7th grade went down the staircase and was never seen again. Another rumor was that our maths teacher kills anyone who goes down the staircase. Though most of the rumors sounded quite stupid, I still wrote them down.
At some point, my friend Josh started noticing how curious I was about the staircase. Josh was quite a fearless guy. He would do anything dangerous, as if he was on a suicide mission, like the time when we had a science experiment and he thought that touching the bunsen burner would be a good idea. He ended up getting severe 3rd degree burns on his hand, which took around a year to heal, and also became the prime example of what not to do in a science experiment. That was only one of the things he did, but I won't go into detail about the others..
2 days ago, as we were sitting on one of the benches after school, Josh asked “Why don’t you just go down the stairs?”
“I don’t want to get suspended, I have a good record unlike you,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I have a plan though.”
“It better not be stupid….”
That’s when he pulled a notebook out of his bag, and drew two stick figures.
“The one with the smiley face is me, and the one with the sad face is you. Do you understand?” He said.
“I do.”
“We’re going to do this pretty early. About 3 or 4am… we’re going to break into the school. Don’t worry though, I’ve done it before and succeeded.” He started to draw a gate, then drew the stick figure representing me climbing over, and the stick figure representing him over the gate, as it waited for me to climb down.
“This plan is kind of stupid,” I said, observing his rushed drawings.
“Do you want to see what’s under those stairs or not?”
“I do…”
“Then listen. So after we break in, we’ll need to be pretty quiet. No talking until we actually get into the building. We’ll need flashlights, so we’ll both bring our phones. When we get into the building you need to follow me. The stairs are near where our classroom is, remember?” He explained, with a moderately harsh tone. That’s how I knew he was serious.
“Okay, it kind of makes sense… I’m gonna go now though, tomorrow we’ll go through the plan again. Make sure to write it down, see you tomorrow Josh!” I said, picking up my backpack and leaving.
The next day, at break, Josh showed me his notebook which contained a detailed plan, explaining exactly what he had said the day before, but in more depth. Though I was hesitant to go through with the plan, I did really want to see those stairs….I had been so determined to know every single thing about those stairs, and this was like a once in a lifetime chance for me. So I agreed to the plan. That was yesterday.
I had my alarm set for 2:30 am. I got ready which took about 20 minutes. At around 2:55 am, I was out the house. From my house to my school was walking distance, so it was easy for me to get there. When I got there, I was quite surprised to see Josh already there, in front of the gate, looking at the floor.
“Oh you’re here already? Should we start now?” He asked.
“Yeah sure, why not?” I said.
That’s when he started climbing up the gate. I made sure to watch his technique so I could do the same when he was done. He climbed up the gate fairly quickly, then climbed down the gate, and he was in.
“Your turn.”
I slowly started climbing the gate, my arms shaking a bit every time I climbed higher. Eventually I was able to get down.
“Okay, now to get inside the building we need to use the back of the building. There’s a door there, and for some reason it’s never locked,” He whispered, and I nodded.
We started walking at a fast pace, making sure not to step on anything that would make noise.
When we finally entered the building, I followed Josh. Using the flashlight on my phone, we slowly made our way up the stairs, being careful of our surroundings. After what felt like forever, we finally found the staircase.
“Are you ready?” He whispered.
“Of course.”
We started going down, step by step. It looked normal, and I didn’t get why we couldn’t use it. As we were going down further and further, a foul odor hit my nose, and started getting stronger and stronger as we went down.
“What is that smell?” I asked, holding my nose with one hand and holding my phone with the other.
“You smell it too? It’s horrible,” He said. Though the smell was tormenting our nostrils, we kept on going. I started getting quite tired. I felt like I had been waking down those stairs for an eternity. At some point, as I continued to point my flashlight downwards, I saw something. Something abnormal… out of this world. I held Josh’s arm so he wouldn’t go down any more steps. He was about to open his mouth to speak until he also saw what i was seeing, and immediately closed his mouth.
We saw darkness. But in that darkness were faces. Some were crying, some were smiling. But as they looked directly into our eyes, their faces became angry. Full of hatred. They started screaming, and shouting unintelligible words. They reached their arms out to us. That’s when the darkness started rising, and I screamed at Josh to run, hyperventilating as tears streamed down my face.
I rapidly ran up the stairs, as the darkness slowly consumed our every step. As Josh was running though, he tripped up a step and fell. I screamed, and heard the sound of synchronized laughter and the sound of Josh screaming in agony and terror, as the creatures pulled him into the void. I kept running up and up the stairs and didn’t dare to look behind me. Somehow I was able to reach the top of the stairs, and when I did I collapsed to the floor, shaking uncontrollably, tears still streaming down my face as I covered my face, screaming.
Someone tapped my shoulder, and as I uncovered my face I realized it was my physics teacher. She stared at me, with a mix of emotions on her face. She held her hand out, gesturing me to get up. When I got up I realized she wasn’t the only one there… all the teachers that taught my class were there, in a line all staring at me. Some were crying, some just stared blankly at me with no expression.
“You’re going to have to go to the headmasters office, I’m sorry..” She said, her voice slightly quivering.
When we arrived, she opened the door and as she shut it, I heard the sound of the door locking. That’s when I realized, this wasn’t the headmasters office….
That was a few hours ago, now i’m still here. My phone’s on 46%, and I’m just sitting here, wondering if it was worth it. I should’ve just listened. Now I’ve lost my best friend and I’m going to rot here, and if anyone finds me they’ll only find my decaying body. I’m posting this for everyone to know my story, and to say goodbye.

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
● ABOUT ME ●
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
● INTERESTS ●
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
✨️Writing✨️
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
✨️Music✨️
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
✨️Photography✨️
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
✨️TV/Movies✨️
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
☆ CAREER ☆
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
☆ SCHOOLING ☆
I'm officially a college student at 25. Yay! Feel free to ask me more about it, I'd love to talk.
☆ ET CETERA ☆
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
● ABOUT YOU ●
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in poly/ENM. I'm 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
● WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR ●
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
● OUR DYNAMIC ●
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you.
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
● IN CONCLUSION... ●
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!

• Dreamer

(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)

"Immortal Spirits of Fate, you who weave destiny, you who are my greatest muse and have spun countless stories in my ears, do not sit in idle silence toward me now. Sing to me of the birth of the Moradaya who came here from those mountainous lands of yore. May my words be true and my tongue possess the skill to utter the tale you speak into me without fault."
—An invocation to the spirits. Similar words are commonly spoken by storytellers in pursuit of favor from those who dictate the webs of fate.
As the cold wind howls through the valleys between that fractured piece of the Alpide belt born of the Paleogene in times long passed and nestled between two seas split by the crushing power of the advancing Arabian plate, a band traveling south and east on the backs of short stocky horses orients themselves against the rising sun hidden behind jagged peaks on the horizon which cut the sky like the serration on teeth of ocean sharks these migrants will never encounter, escape from this desolate winter landscape the one thing on their minds. They are Anyana, Iranic peoples whose ancestors roamed the steppes past the great mountains to the north where their distant cousins still drive livestock across a great sea of grass so wide and expansive it is hard for them to imagine both the land there and here in these claustrophobic ravines and gullies wrought by tectonic chaos belong to the same world. They do.
The Anyana abandoned such a pastoralist way of life when they migrated south along the coast of the Black Sea, known to them as Banga Marea, the Great Sea, which was vaster than any their ancestors before them had ever beheld, and into the lowlands between the Greater and Lesser Caucasus where rivers flow west into that massive body of water and the land is lush and fertile for farming. But this land of plenty where it seems the divines had tried their hand at crafting a paradise was not to be the home of the Moradaya. The Anyana who settled in these lands, which were at that time home to a population of Colchic Proto-Kartvelians, enslaved and intermingled with these local peoples from the coast to as far east as those who later formed the Kingdom of Asmanakashra, but many more of their brethren found no place in the small space of these lowlands, cramped as they were after the arrival of a lurch of people pouring inward as if the levy of the Greater Caucasus which once separated two worlds alien to one another had burst, and instead chose to push onward into the mountains to the south, spreading in all directions and hunting for whatever small abundances might be found in their alpine surroundings.
Massifs rise from underfoot across the plateau of the Armenian Highlands where Anyan has become the dominant culture and language, but divisions have already formed in this people. Wars were fought. Battles raged. Subjugation. The harsh topography of these lands and divisions between those original tribes who made the journey south drive the Anyana apart and erode their united identity like rivers splitting from one source in a delta before rushing out to sea, quickened by the absorption of local people's ways of life in the disparate and nascent polities forming among their culture. Some of the tribes have become wary of one another, others hostile and others more simply apathetic toward the Anyana living elsewhere in the plateau where even a few miles distance divided by a range of peaks can feel a world away.
The tribe Moradaya trace their lineage to a number of deva, beings akin to spirits or gods, the stories of their genesis passed down through the generations by oral recital and never received by the youth in quite the same manner or meaning each telling. Those travelers journeying across the Lesser Caucasus have heard the myths of their tribe’s origins many times, so often each might recite the tales from memory, as they did in the company of one another as solace for their otherwise pitiful position in a false remembrance of their greater past. The content of those myths is for another time than this. Their tribe has yet to find a home where they might permanently achieve peaceability and rest. For years they have searched, living scattered about Anyan lands, but this will soon be no more.
The band of men and women and children with their horses and all the belongings they managed to pack for the journey set their ambitions on the valley where meets a moot of all the Moradaya. For too long they have gone without a chieftain holding any true vision, but with the death of Small Vanga, deva bless his spirit, comes an opportunity to appoint a new ruler, one who might lead them to the home of which they have long dreamt. The winter journey for them has been grueling, but their ways demand a new chieftain be elected as soon as all the clan chiefs are able to convene. In that band marching beneath the slopes and now in the belly of a ravine, scrawny trees twisting and fighting each other for the scant light of the sun that makes it down all the way, Skoda goes with his family and a small number of his most trusted men to represent his clan, the Donsudra, and their wishes at the moot.
All free men are welcome to participate in the moot and the election of a new chieftain, but the clan chiefs are shouldered with the extra responsibilities of negotiating the affair and preventing strife at the results of the tribe’s decision. Skoda’s young age once made other chiefs wary of his abilities to lead, but since then he proved himself to be a skilled warrior and therefore, in their eyes, a leader in his campaigns against the Urartians, the native inhabitants of this alpine plateau, and many favor him to become the new chieftain.
After weeks of travel through winding mountain passes, Skoda and their band reach the banks of Soinya Marea, Lake Sevan, the water frozen therein beginning to thaw as spring emerges. Thin trees with leaves stripped and dead bushes and lichen growing on rocky outcroppings dot the hilly landscape. Smoke rises in the distance. Others from Moradaya had already arrived and created a camp where they weathered the remains of the cold season waiting to elect the new chieftain. Skoda’s band sets up their own tents in the disorganized array of other temporary homes along a network of mud pounded into the ground by feet of people buzzing around the camp. Tired from their journey, he rests.
They are some of the last to arrive, and soon after making their place all the clan chiefs are present on those banks, and the moot is called. They meet at the debouch of a stream snaking down to the idle water along an escarpment and flowing inside, the shallow depths gurgling over a bed of rocks. Men of other kinds have trodden these lands for hundreds of thousands of years since the age of Acheulean stone, and now rills formed in the mud by surface water from the melting snow are trampled underfoot as they gather into a haphazard circle, a little empty space in the center.
Clans Donsudra, Ibera, Kudogre, Paraba, Velun and Festuda all convene here. Besides Skoda, other favorites for chieftain are Oruges, son of the late Small Vanga, and Ekpuda, the wise and elderly leader of the Paraba. The law speaker initiates the day, and the shaman says a prayer and performs a ritual, and the thing begins. Oruges boasts of his own grandeur, standing in the center of the crowd who send cheers and jeers alike his way.
"He should be chieftain!"
"Someone older like Ekpuda ought to be in charge!"
"His father led us to ruin, and he'll do the same!"
They argue for some time with no resolution.
"Quiet, children." Ekpuda waves a single hand in the air, and soon all are silent. "I am too old to lead. That job belongs to those whose lives are still more ahead than behind them."
A murmur grows in the crowd.
"But, I must admit, I doubt Oruges' abilities as a leader, even if I respected his father."
A roar. Everyone was up in arms and yelling.
"I don't see anyone better!"
"Vanga's spawn is too weak!"
"Who else will be chieftain?"
Skoda walks to the center, the walls of which now undulate in the mass of upset bodies. "I will lead us."
After much deliberation and arguing, Skoda is narrowly elected as Moradaya's new chieftain, the first ever from clan Donsudra. He sets his mind on the task of finding his people a land on which they may grow and prosper, and these thoughts occupy every still moment for over a year until an opportunity presents itself.
The Urartian kingdom of Ushnu to the south had fallen into a state of civil war over the rights of inheritance pertaining to their king, and Skoda decides to take the opportunity and strike.
The war effort on part of the Moradaya is successful, and they drive out the rulers of Ushnu, known to them as Ošneš, and take over the land with their armies. They expand east into the territory of tribes Urartian and Iranian alike and settle them as their own.
Ošneš rests west of the endorheic lake of brine, Unya Marea, or Lake Urmia as it might be known to us. Fed by rivers, the lake lets loose none of its water except in evaporation, a draconic beast hoarding its wealth for itself. A place of stagnancy, though much life calls the lands around home. There exist many plots of arable terrain here, and it seems to all Moradaya, Skoda first of all, a good place to settle. To the east of this great salt pond is a river valley sandwiched by mountains north and the stratovolcano which looms over all therein and will soon become a place of great spiritual power south. Here, the Moradaya found a city, that of Majadaragand, the City of the Middle Valley.
For some time, perhaps a century or so, the Moradaya have called these lands home. The Urartians of the old kingdom of Ushnu still do so too, though they are in the process of being subsumed into Anyan ways of life, an integration which lends to the growing distinction between Moradaya and other Anyana. The real history of their conquests merges with legend, birthing new myths among the tribe's members now growing fat off the land. This is how the Moradaya came into their home.
Name: Moradaya
Gov't Type: Sedentary
Techs: Iron Age, Horse domestication, Spoked Wheel
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