Its been several years ever since I've realized that I really don't think before speaking, and it has become such a prevalent and serious issue that at many instances I either get into trouble or hurt someone terribly, especially my own close friends. Although in other instances I end up saying the most senseless and stupid shit every single goddamn time both annoying everyone else as well as making myself look stupid and worthless amidst others.
One may think that I have a blunt personality and another would say that that is a good thing, but from my own perspective, I've met blunt people and I'm nothing like them. Unlike them, I would barge in with a very rash or vulgar comment/joke about anyone or anything, possibly for my unconscious motive of seeking attention or praise from an individual or group, especially in impromptu. My thought-to-speech system is so fucked I could only with to be silent, cut my tongue off or just literally stitch my own mouth shut without anesthesia.
I wish I could just stop, think about what I say and about how it would affect not just myself but others as well, but I just feel like once I get an opportunity to talk I go into autopilot mode and my thoughts get hardwires straight to my mouth no matter how much I try to stop it. I've tried scouring for some solutions both on the Internet and via therapy, some of which went along the lines of "wait 3 seconds before talking" or "think of the THINK acronym" and so on and so forth. I've tried applying them but to literally 0 progress as I could even see my unconscious self throw those ideas away as I continue to spew harmful and stupid words every single time to everyone I ever meet.
Thus here I am, and I just really want to know what advice would you all think I need to follow so I can get myself out of this rut I've seemingly dug myself in both as fast and as effective as possible so I don't end up in situations where I say stupid things for attention or find my own friends seriously threatening me to shut my mouth as is happening at the very moment and the very thing I wish to not happen ever again.

So, I am willing to bet the title of this post sounds like a rinse and repeat for many other posts here. And that is fine with me. I tend to find most poly people are open minded enough to be kink friendly and have nerdy interests, which is all the better from my point of view.
So, a little about me. I am very open minded, very few limits, love to explore the worlds of kink and bdsm. There is not much I won't do. Feel free to test that in a message ;). I have experience with a variety of dynamics and I am dom leaning, but generally just an all round kinkster.
I am incredibly nerdy. I am an avid gamer of both video and board varieties. I also write reviews and content creation for both. Feel free to ask for my portfolio. I am a mature game design student who is half way theough their second year. I work part time along side this. I also love a good anime, currently geeking out over Record of Ragnarok getting a second season on Netflix.
I have my own place, and I can drive. I currently have one great partner, who lives with her long term partner. And I am looking to start talking to and hopefully getting involved with other people. I date solo. For now.
I am gynesexual. So I am attracted to feminine people of any gender. What is in the pants doesn't matter to me. So whatever term you use to identify, I am more than happy to receive a message from you.
A lot of times when I post ads I get responses from guys who feel feminine by wearing panties. This is great. But this is not what I mean by me being attracted to feminine people and don't want to waste your time. And hope I don't offend anyone from saying that. If you are a cis male please bare in mind i will likely only be attracted to you if you are also smooth all over, have some sexy clothes to go with it and enjoy practicing your make up skills.
Anyway, I think that was a long enough post. I am aware that the majority of people probably won't even read it all. If I have tickled your fancy at all, please feel free to send a message or chat request here. :).

In autumn I started to attend an art class every Saturday. We had a group of different people, but we were around the same age, interest, similar plans for the future. Except this girl, I'll name her R.
Her presence made me uncomfortable from the beginning. Not only because she was crippling along us with her crutches while we headed upstairs (from -2nd to 2nd floor) to out classroom, but the way she talked, the words she said... I can't understand why.
She was so untalented. I don't even know why she was there, she hindered our work. She asked stupid questions, completely unrelated to the subject, made weird commentaries on our pictures, etc.
But we were tolerant, we were there for learning and practising.
One time I chose a difficult topic for my pictures: my mental illness, schizotypal disorder. (To be honest, I'm not sure if it's the correct diagnosis because my doctor said that it can be an other psychosis related thing, but I needed to take antipsychotics. Eventually I had to stop the treatment since she left and I couldn't find another doctor.)
R. said that she has schizophrenia too, and we started to chat a bit about out experiences. She said that she only experienced minor hallucinations like seeing eyed floating around and hearing voices. She takes several pills, like three our four everyday. She still goes to secondary school even though she's 24 years old.
In the meanwhile I studied about a poet's son who was probably schizophrenic, and another poet who even wrote about his schizophrenia. I read his diary and found similarities whith my notes I took when I felt unwell. I also watched the movie about Louis Wain, and I can't take it. I don't want to relate to them but I still do.
Ever since sometimes I have panic attacks when I think about schizophrenia. I don't want to end up like her. I don't want this burden, I'll rathe die by my own hands. I'm so afraid that one day I'll lose touch with reality and become one of those stereotypical psychotics like in Durrenmatt's The Physicists. I know this illness probably will worsen over time, I can feel that my mental ability is worse than a year ago. Still I'm unable to accept that this is my tomorrow.

I'm a returning player, playing in draco. Returned to do the yeti x pb event, completed it and now moving onto my new main.
Starting fresh off the bat, any helpful guild is willing to recruit me in and guide me along the way ? I'd start by saying ( without shame ) that I need some small amount of mesos to at least let me SF my basic gears to 80 SF, so I could continue my training. Anyhow, hope to get to know more people !

Hi all,
My neighbour's fence between our gardens has 2cm gaps between the fence slats but I'd like to cover these up for a bit of extra privacy.
I was originally thinking of asking the neighbour if they're happy with me attaching bamboo screening on our side of the fence (I'm sure they'd be fine with that).
But I'm thinking it might look nicer to just grow something in front of the fence instead (a thin flower bed along the fence of 30 cm wide).
Does anyone have any advice on a popular plant? Something low maintenance, easy to grow in the UK, would be trimmed to 6ft tall, so something tall and thin that doesn't bush outwards. Something that isn't going to damage the fence (a weak plant that isn't going to push on the fence, it's a fairly sheltered area). Evergreen would be preferred.
Thanks for your advice 😀

Hi! I'm a 32M, been in Switzerland for almost a year and just now got into looking at 3rd pillar. I first opened a 3a account with my bank (PostFinance) and then I saw the fees for investing the money, which made me realize I should go for another solution (I then chose VIAC).
My question is, should I keep the PostFinance 3a open along with VIAC? As I understand it, the cumulated transfer across all accounts cannot exceed the yearly limit. As such, how do I link the 2023 yearly limit of CHF 7056 for the two accounts? Do I have to make sure manually that it doesn't exceed CHF 7056 across all accounts?
Also, as I understand it, it is best to open multiple portfolios. Like 4, so that, for example, I divide my monthly deposits by 4 for each portfolio and then when I retire I do 4 separate withdrawals across 20 years, to save on taxes.
Also, I think I can manage to invest the whole amount of 7056 into the Global 100 plan for all 4 portfolios. Is it a good idea to have the same VIAC plan for all 4 portfolios?
Thanks for reading and happy investing!

TL;DR My boyfriend and his “lesbian” Gil best friend slept together, kept it from me and since I found out she had tried to make me seem like the craziest girl alive and has made several comments to purposely try to get under my skin. It all blew up last night and at the point where he has to choose me or her. He and I both agree I have done absolutely nothing wrong and nothing to deserve this. Am I in the wrong?
My boyfriend and I have been together since about November. We have literally the perfect relationship, get along great, know eachothers families, have similar goal/career paths in mind, etc. when we first got together I knew he had a girl best friend. I use to be extremely toxic and have had terrible experiences with “girl best friends” but I looked past it for the sake of the relationship and trying to grow. In fact, I tried to be friends with her. She claims to be a lesbian but it’s a known thing she also sleeps with the occasional man. Not my business. But, when we first got together I asked if they had slept together jokingly and they both said no. Didn’t think anything of it. Fast forward a few weeks into dating, feelings are definitely there and we were laying in bed when my boyfriend opens a snap from his girl best friend. A video of her talking about how she told the girl she was talking to at the time about them sleeping together. Of course I was blindsided and so hurt. They both made a conscious decision to not tell me and I found out the hard way.
Fast forward. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with them hanging out alone and he understood. I told him it’d take a long time to trust him with her again but it is a known thing that it was a drunk one time thing so I’m trying to let it go. Multiple instances then pop up, she brought up them sleeping together at least 2 times in different group settings, and has made small passive aggressive comments towards me for the past 3+ months. All things that are small enough to get under my skin but not enough for my boyfriend to tell her it’s not okay (he did call her out the first time when she wouldn’t stop talking about them sleeping together) But now the things are just building. She did get in a relationship for about a month with a girl who I ended up being friends with. She broke up with this girl because it was quite obvious to everyone that she was not over her ex. She blamed it on them being so different but I don’t care. My best friend and I ended up calling her ex to talk about what happened because, keep in mind she became our friend. We told her how basically everyone knew that she wasn’t over her ex blah blah whatever. She thanked us for the information and went on. Was it the best decision to make? No. But I did have a lot of pent up anger and resentment towards her already that I truthfully did not care because I have bit my tongue with every rude comment she has made to me. Last night we all went out and she said “how are you” I said “I’m good” we did not speak the rest of the night. Until, she sits at a table next to me and says “are we going to Fucking talk about this” and I figured she was talking about all the tension because of all the things she’s said to me and I said “I guess we can” and so basically a screaming match breaks out over how disrespectful she has been, all the things she’s done, I tried to tell her I have done nothing wrong to her. I have asked her to respect me and my relationship. I have bit my tongue for my boyfriends sake. She proceeded to tell me she thought I was toxic and controlling over my boyfriend when this is quite literally the healthiest relationship I have ever been in and he and I both talked about it and agreed she was so out of pocket for saying that she was just trying to say things to hurt me.
So yes, that did bother me because I use to be the toxic controlling one. That person is nothing like who I am today.
Basically caused my boyfriend to lose his shit on both of us and he and I left. We argued and I basically got so frustrated to the point that I told him it was her or me. If he wants to allow her to ruin our relationship when he is the first to admit I have quite literally done nothing wrong (other than the talking to the ex thing, I understand)
He said he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to give up a friendship of 4 years. He thinks I am supposed to allow him to have one on one time with her because her and I “can’t get along” when I have TRIED. FOR SO LONG. I told him I’m simply not okay with that and he was going to allow her to ruin something really good for us. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a complete loss here and it is completely tearing me up. We are meeting tonight to talk and are on good terms but I don’t know how I’m supposed to be okay with this. I set healthy boundaries from the beginning and he’s going back on it.
DISCLAIMER: my boyfriend is an actual angel. He is the most caring and thoughtful person I’ve ever met. This is quite literally the ONLY issue we have ever had. I understand the gravity of the situation and ultimatum I’m giving him but them sleeping together and lying to me about it was the start of these problems and she literally can not get over it. Am I in the wrong?

Hello there, good morning and happy April fools. Hope all’s alright. Wanted to give this a shot for some time now.
I’m Alex, pre everything transfemme. Fair warning - I’m a bit on the weird side. Im not conventional by any stretch of the imagination. I intentionally take multiple steps for simple tasks, over analysis almost every situation, and spend hours in my head swimming in my fantasies and theories.
I’m also someone loves slowcore, dream pop, cloud rap, and anything moody and steps a specific atmosphere and transport me into the artist head and the image they’re portraying. One of my favorites being The Antlers. Fantastic band, along side Gregory Alan Isakov and Hozier. One of biggest influences being Wes Anderson. Also I play destiny 2. Wanted to add this before I forget.
P.S. I’m monogamous
This is getting bit of hand. Time to wrap this up.
What I’m looking for is someone who is as odd as I am. You don’t have like the same things I enjoy but have a passion about the things for enjoy. Be around my age please (19-25). Also be somewhat close to EST. I’m sorry Australia, East Asia, and Oceania.
I think that’s everything, thanks for reading have have a good rest of your time. Ciao

When I was little, I dreamed I'd marry a handsome prince, someone who would treat me well and we'd have kids, a nice home and that would be what would make me happy.
I married someone unexpected, my family didn't approve but I feel like I made the right choice.
My spouse opens the car door for me and helps me out of the car, not because I need to be helped, but to be kind and gentle towards me.
My spouse holds the door open at restaurants, and if it is raining will tell me to wait and pull the car up so I don't walk in the rain.
My spouse never yells at me, never says anything unkind towards me, and if we need to discuss something serious will gently hold my hands and remind me how much I am loved. My spouse is understanding, and treats me with love and care in all our interactions.
When I'm scared, my spouse comforts me. When we're near danger, my spouse is ready to protect me, when we walk along the street, my spouse walks on the outside by traffic and steps between dogs and strangers to keep me safe.
My spouse is a good hearted person, is a good friend, helps others when they need help, is generous towards others, works as a volunteer assisting other injured veterans, and is honest in all interactions. My spouse is someone worthy of admiration and respect, both mine and from those in our lives.
My spouse is handsome, not that should matter, but there is a beauty that neither gorgeous nor handsome perfectly describe but somewhere inbetween. My spouse looks charming and professional in a fitted suit.
My spouse has never taken anything from me I did not freely give, never demanding anything from me, never pressured nor attempted to guilt me into doing anything I'd be uncomfortable with. Always respectful, thoughtful and gentle. More of a "gentleman" than any man I've ever met.
With our chores, we split the work evenly, my spouse doesn't expect that I should maintain the house alone, or that because my work is less physically demanding I should take on the lions share. My spouse doesn't procrastinate chores until I do them, nor cut corners or pretend to have forgotten. We both cook, both do laundry, both wash dishes. A partnership.
My spouse shares some of my interests, we play board games and card games together, read books side by side and attend plays. And my spouse has interests I do not, playing sports with friends and volunteering together to help friends move and to do volunteer construction at a playground. My spouse is a leader of others, and guides friends to being better people.
Marriage was not exactly what I expected it to be, growing up with my mother and father, my father was kind to my mother but he never did the little things to make her happy, he never did household chores, rarely was involved in childcare and he never took an interest in her interests. I imagined my life would be the same, a husband who is kind but uninvolved in domestic life aside from expecting to be fed.
I feel eternally grateful that I married my wife, although I never expected to marry a woman, I cannot imagine someone better suited to me. Nor anyone with a kinder heart, nor someone with the level of personal integrity and thoughtfulness she holds. I didn't expect my mental image of my person someone would look like her, but in every way she has exceeded my expectations and made me a very happy woman.

Hello, my name is Florian - I'm 22 and from Germany. It's a calm weekend, I'd take a bike ride but it sadly does rain. So I'm at home listening to the radio, where some company would be great! But well, Here are some things about me:
I recently graduated from University and organized myself a new apartment that I'll move to in two months or so. Give or take. I've started to work and am pretty content with my job.
My biggest passion is photography, maybe that shined through a bit in the first part. I've gotten a lot more into it, lately, and would say that I've shot some pretty good ones! Maybe you'd like to swap some, I mostly shoot scenery, but I'd love to see what you shoot :) Be it professionally, or snapshots for fun! I also enjoy to travel and explore places - I love going to New cities and walking around them with good music on my ears. I pretty much always listen to music (or the radio!), I always have some headphones with me. And I have a mess of a playlist, haha.
I also enjoy reading and writing, as well as learning about history, aviation, urban planning, politics and other topics. Tea is my favourite drink and I'd love to have one together with you, even if it's just virtual. If you prefer coffee or something else that's fine, too, of course. Lastly I have gotten into cooking and baking. I'm sure there's more about myself, but you'll have to discover that. I'm looking forward to getting to know you :)

Hello, my name is Florian - I'm 22 and from Germany. It's a calm weekend, I'd take a bike ride but it sadly does rain. So I'm at home listening to the radio, where some company would be great! But well, Here are some things about me:
I recently graduated from University and organized myself a new apartment that I'll move to in two months or so. Give or take. I've started to work and am pretty content with my job.
My biggest passion is photography, maybe that shined through a bit in the first part. I've gotten a lot more into it, lately, and would say that I've shot some pretty good ones! Maybe you'd like to swap some, I mostly shoot scenery, but I'd love to see what you shoot :) Be it professionally, or snapshots for fun! I also enjoy to travel and explore places - I love going to New cities and walking around them with good music on my ears. I pretty much always listen to music (or the radio!), I always have some headphones with me. And I have a mess of a playlist, haha.
I also enjoy reading and writing, as well as learning about history, aviation, urban planning, politics and other topics. Tea is my favourite drink and I'd love to have one together with you, even if it's just virtual. If you prefer coffee or something else that's fine, too, of course. Lastly I have gotten into cooking and baking. I'm sure there's more about myself, but you'll have to discover that. I'm looking forward to getting to know you :)

It is finally done! My horror novel is live on KDU and the hardcover and paperback versions just got approved. I started writing this book years ago. It took a layoff from my job and a strange dream where my dead grandfather told me “hurry up and finish the damn thing!” to actually motivate myself to sit down and write. I spent a long time researching the self-publishing space and also got some advice from mutual friends that make six and seven figures a year self-publishing in my genre, and I thought I’d share my experiences so far!
A piece of advice that got hammered in over and over was that the cover had to be amazing. It seems true enough, a family member owns a small bookstore, and it is always the books with the fancy covers that get bought. From what I’ve heard, the majority that are purchased don’t even get read, so it just drives the point that it is the cover that sells the thing. I have the luck of having a professional graphic designer for a girlfriend who has designed posters and graphics for TV and musicians, and she put together an awesome cover and website for me.
I also work in TV and film as my day job, so I’m lucky that I know a lot of creative people that have helped me along the way with editing and beta reading. I used Vellum to format my book ($250) and that has been the biggest cost so far, which allowed me to put some money towards ARC readers. Much of the advice I’d heard came back to finding ARC readers, since it’s almost impossible to build hype as a nobody. They say to cast a wide net, and so I signed up with a few services and prepped a plan for release. What I underestimated, however, was the extent to which many of these services cater primarily to romance and erotica… A lot of YouTubers and self-publishing gurus play up these services, which might be great for other genres, but for horror I’m not too convinced.
​
ARCS:
​
Hidden Gems – I was very excited to get a slot close to my release day! Less than 10 picked up my book. For reference, some authors claim to get upwards of 50 reviews per book off here. I don’t know how many picked mine up, but the owner emailed me to apologize and said that horror isn’t very popular on the site, and that they are working to grow their network of reviewers. He also kindly said if anyone else would sign up, it would come at no extra charge. No reviews yet but maybe a couple will trickle in. I will update if they do.
BookSprouts – 4 sign-ups, and 3 reviews so far. I got two 4-star reviews and one 5-star review. The 5-star review was super thoughtful, and honestly made this site worth it. That reviewer posted it to Amazon as well, but so far, the others haven’t appeared. One of the 4-star reviews was lazy… The reviewer just copied and pasted my blurb and put “good read. Slow but readable.” at the end. Looking at their profile, they used the same review for many other books.
BookSirens – Only one person signed up to read it, no review yet.
​
Editorial Reviews:
I did a lot of digging on editorial reviews, and most didn't seem worth it for me. Several huge companies are running what are borderline scams, where reviews aren’t even guaranteed despite exorbitant prices. I only went with one, Reader’s Favorite, and got a very detailed five- star review with some great quotes for my Amazon page and a seal to put on my book.
​
Marketing:
The hard part! I’ve been sticking mostly to Facebook, but I need to start marketing more. Facebook seems incredibly random. For example, I posted my blurb and a photo of my cover art which somehow got 94 likes from strangers, and then when I posted that the book was released, it got maybe 3 likes. And those were from friends! I asked some of my friends who follow the page if my posts were showing up, and for a few, they weren’t. I’d guess that because I don’t have many followers yet my content is getting buried. I’ve tried a couple boosts and promos (just throwing $5 at it and targeting horror fans) and it’s gotten a few followers, but it doesn’t seem worth it since those haven’t translated into sales.
​
Sales:
My book has only been live for a couple days, and the paperback and hardcover were just approved, but it has gotten a few organic sales despite only having one review on the Amazon page so far. I can see a few people have started reading the KDU version as well.
​
Overall, it feels pretty good and I’m proud of the book! I'm also excited to work on the next one!

Me again. The person who is actively struggling to stay with SO. For those not versed in my background my SO is a troubled soul and I am a fixer who swoops in and takes care of everybody but myself.
If I were younger and pre divorce of my narcissist ex, I would be feeling so proud right now. I was always a helper and I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. I even originally wanted to be a therapist myself.
SO is telling me and showing me how much he has been improved by me. How happy I make him. His closest friends and family members told me things along this line. He looks better, takes better care of himself, is motivated and happy at his work.
He has told me I brought him closer to his son. Made his son happy. I bought SS a new bedding set and he asked me to go look at it. He made his bed for me. He wants to keep it all in good condition. Auwtch right in the feels!
SS asked if he can have more time at our home. He actively wants to play games with me and asks to do things the three of us.
He told me my dog is his best friends. He once started crying when he was chewing a bone because it was so cute to him he couldn’t handle. His heart exploded. I get that. My dog is amazing. I also bought a new puppy and he wants to learn how to train the puppy and how to take care of him. The puppy is also awesome and is also going to be an epic dog! Yesterday he even didn’t want to go to an activity because he wanted to spend time with the dogs.
I can see him blossoming. I can see the impact I have on him. How important I have or am becoming to him.
Younger me would be thrilled to be needed. But this jaded traumatized version that is me now only feels sad and trapped. I always knew that once you step into a child’s life you can’t just yeet out of there… but this is hard.
I already feel guilty considering leaving. I will take my dogs and I do not know how SO will hold up.
I am just feeling all of this!

Artist: A Flock of Seagulls.
Album: A Flock of Seagulls.
Release Date: March 1982.
I walked along the avenue I never thought I'd meet a girl like you Meet a girl like you With auburn hair and tawny eyes The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through Hypnotize me through
And I ran, I ran so far away I just ran, I ran all night and day I couldn't get away
A cloud appears above your head A beam of light comes shining down on you Shining down on you The cloud is moving nearer still Aurora borealis comes in view Aurora comes in view
And I ran, I ran so far away I just ran, I ran all night and day I couldn't get away
Reached out a hand to touch your face You're slowly disappearing from my view 'Pearing from my view Reached out a hand to try again I'm floating in a beam of light with you A beam of light with you
And I ran, I ran so far away I just ran, I ran all night and day And I ran, I ran so far away I just ran, I couldn't get away

This is going to be long time post but details are necessary.
I am a single child (26F) and my parents are senior citizens.
My father had 6 siblings: Brother 1 (now dead but was very manipulative)
Brother 2 (also dead)
Brother 3(not in contact)
Aunt (only sister)
Brother 4 (not in contact)
Brother 5 (in contact)
My father (78M) is the oldest son of the family and has a very kind-hearted person. However, he has sore relations with his siblings as they constantly harassed him, blamed him for not doing enough to support the family, are jealous of his successful career and tried to snatch his self-acquired properties through court case. He has been betrayed by them and particularly the Brother 1 (75M). That brother distanced him from everyone by constantly badmouthing everyone and manipulating my father, tried to snatch my father's immovable property via court case even though my father allowed him to live there for 8 years so that his son could study well, put entire blame for his wrong actions on Brother 5 (55M) even though it was that Brother 5 that took care of that Brother 1 when he was on his death bed and even got his son married.
After so much betrayal and drama, me and my parents have kept a safe distance from everyone. Despite all this my father has always tried his best to be there for his siblings out of love and fulfilled all his obligations as the oldest sibling.
Recently, I reconnected with Brother 5 (my youngest Uncle) and his wife and daughter. Although we get along well, he and his wife took care of my well-being, his daughter (25F) is mature and good friends, I cannot bring myself to trust them due to our past and my father's image for him.
While we were discussing some old family issues, my cousin sister told that she considers my father to be a disloyal man because he did not stood up for well-being of her father (i.e., my youngest uncle). I told her that it is very disrespectful of her to say such words for my father and to never repeat it.
I understand that they have certain issues with my father and there has been a lot of negativity and fights between the brothers. My Aunt (Brother 5's wife) explained me to not take my cousin sister's words to heart as she is my father's niece so she has right to speak about my father and I have the same right.
My father has always believed that his youngest brother is a manipulative and horrible person and we should not be in touch with him. I have experienced otherwise because I have seen that my youngest uncle help his siblings and outsiders, stood up for people who could not stand up for themselves, even think about my father's well-being, has loved e since my birth, be there for our family like non of the other of my father's sibling and be helpful to his friends too. He seems to have a very positive image in front of everyone except that of my father. It also feels a lot of what my father believes about him is based on what he was told by his other siblings. Those siblings were manipulative as hell, used to use my father for personal gains, never helped him or respected him and ultimately tried to take his property.
Now I am confused whether I should trust my gut feeling that says that they are not bad people, accept that their thoughts about my father is based on their own experience with him, accept that they think differently than my family and that my father is not particularly good at judging people (which is a very strong point here)
or
should I cut them off from my life completely because they had bad relations with my father, they don't think good about my father, my father and mother thinks they are bad people and maybe all the care, love and affectikn they show me is part of their manipulation.
TLDR: my father has the worst relationship with Brother 5 (my uncle) but it feels he sees him based on what he was told about him by his other siblings and my father is not a very good at judging people's character as he remained loyal to Brother 1 who used to use him constantly. My youngest uncle has proved via his actions that he really loves me and cares for me and i want to maintain a good relationship with him but I'm not sure if I am being gullible given what my father thinks about him.

Hello everyone! This post is following the previous meta thread. I was meaning to make this post shortly after the survey linked to in that thread closed.
53 responses were received. In the future, I am hoping that I can find a way to do a survey without requiring signing into Google.

Questions

Which Subreddits are you currently subscribed to?

Option	Amount
/PSO2NGS	4
/PSO2	0
Both /PSO2NGS and /PSO2	41
Neither	8

What kinds of posts do you like to look at the most on the Subreddit? Select at most 3.

This was optional and got 53 responses.

Option	Amount
Discussion	44
Phasion/Cosplay	12
Video	2
Artwork	9
Humor	4
Meme	10
Map	15
Guide	13
News	32
Megathread	11

Many responded saying they they like to look at discussion posts and game news, while few mentioned they like to look at video, humor and artwork posts.

If you do post to the Subreddit, what kind of posts do you create the most?

This was an optional question and got 28 responses.

Option	Amount
Discussion	21
Phasion/Cosplay	8
Video	2
Artwork	2
Humor	2
Meme	3
Map	0
Guide	1
News	3

Most participants said that they make discussion posts, with fashion posts being second. The Discussion post flair is a flair used for many kinds of posts that do not fall into the other post flair categories.
Fashion was the second highest that respondents selected. With the amount of these posts that are made on the subreddit, this is not a surprise.

Which of these types of posts do you feel are posted too frequently by users? Select at most 3.

Option	Amount
Discussion	5
Phasion/Cosplay	36
Video	10
Artwork	8
Humor	6
Meme	13
Map	4
Guide	0
News	1

Fashion posts are frequently posted along with discussion posts, so the results here are not surprising. Fashion is one of the game's selling points after all.
Respondents also said they feel that meme and video posts are too frequent too.

What is your opinion on the Subreddit's current rules?

Option	Amount
The rules do not need to be changed	48
The rules should be made stricter	5
The rules should be loosened	0

Most said that the rules do not need to be changed, while some said they should be made stricter. A later question asked those that said the rules need to be changed for clarification on what should be changed. I'll detail them below.

What do you feel about the current moderation of the Subreddit?

"10 and 11 ought to be enforced properly."

This is referring to Rule 10 "Low-effort memes/content", and Rule 11 "Keep screenshot/art/video posts to one per day".
For Rule 10, this is something that we have not been proactive enough on, and there are posts that have slipped through that go against this rule that should have been removed. This is something that I wish we can improve on.
For Rule 11, earlier this year we added a new bot to the subreddit that should help enforce this rule automatically for us, but checking the modlog, it doesn't appear to be working correctly. We have removed posts that go against this rule when we spot them.
Please remember though to use reddit's reporting feature if you feel that a post or comment goes against the subreddit's rules. There should be an option to specify what rule the post or comment goes against.

"More strictness toward doomposting and the like"

For any posts and comments that are intentionally negative to a point where they want the game to do poorly, shut down or discourage those from playing it because "game bad" with no explanation, then yes we do remove these as we spot them. Genuine criticism doesn't have a reason to be removed as long as it sticks to the subreddit's rules.

"Fashion, video, and meme posts should be limited to megathreads."

I cannot say that I agree with this. A lot of the subreddit's activity comes from these posts. Restricting them to megathreads would tuck them away into places where less will see them.
If your method of browsing reddit allows you to filter posts by flair, you can use that to hide types of posts you don't want to see. You can also type criteria into the search bar like flair:"Discussion" to only show a specific type of post.

"What remains irksome to me are low value, low effort, low IQ posts; I don't know how one could filter these out, so I'm not sure it's feasible to increase strictness of rules. Here are a couple recent examples. (removed two links to posts from different users)"

The first post really should have been in the weekly questions megathread. The second was just a suggestion that didn't really have anything wrong with it.

"Less spam of fashion and video only posts (example, guide/news/advice with only a video and no text summarizing video)"

Please see my response to the megathreads question above regarding fashion posts.
For the video-only posts, I do agree with you for the most part. There are YouTube video posts where a "content creator" just posts a link to their video and peace out, without making an effort to interact with the community here. We do remove these posts if done excessively. I don't think all videos posted here need such a preamble though. I will bring this up with the mod team.
Thank you to the 5 people that submitted this feedback. It is very helpful.

On a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest, how do you rate the current moderation of the Subreddit by the Subreddit's moderators?

Rating	Amount
1	1
2	0
3	15
4	20
5	17

Most responded with 4, with 5 and 3 behind. One submitted a rating of 1.

What do you feel about the current moderation of the Subreddit?

I won't go over each of the 13 responses, but here are the ones that I feel I can respond to:

"don't like mods deleting comments even if they break the rules because everything loses context and makes it look like silencing opinions, just locking/banning should be enough"

Often the users making these comments that break the subreddit rules do not deserve more attention to their comments, and we also remove the comments from other users in response to those to help prevent further disruption. You can use a service like Unddit to see removed comments if you like.

"It is fine, a bit too many fashion posts/some "humor" posts like (hidden user) that I ignore and move on, wish there were more discussions, the lore, gameplay, prediction and community discussions are always good reads."

"Mostly fine. But there have been times when a mod will "speak as a mod" and pin the comment for things outside of moderation or subreddit business"

raises hand Guilty. This is something I have been meaning to prevent myself from misusing. This is the first subreddit that I have done moderation on, and before then I've experienced various styles of moderation both hands-off and hands-off, both silly and serious. I hope this has improved in the past months.

"Never had a problem, post variety is good and there isn't a massive clutter of the same type of post. I would say there is more cosplay/fashion than other posts, but that is the nature of the game/community."

It's good to hear that the post variety is good.

"Thank you for reducing drama since release; this was my largest frustration with the subreddit and it's manageable now."

Thank you for sticking around and for the complement :)

"i'd like to see the datamine rules loosened. fashion posts should have no more than 4 images (look breakdowns excluded)"

For the datamining rules, I do wish we could too, but like I said before, I don't want us to get in trouble because somebody posted an unreleased DOLLS' ass-cheek. I'm not sure why images should be limited to 4. Do they take up too much room on your screen, or do you think it is unfair?

"Appreciate the 1 time per day rule on screenshot/art/video."

I hope we can continue to enforce it.

"They are pretty good about negating very angry and condescending comments. Otherwise there isn't enough activity on the Reddit to really worry about much. Activity on the Reddit follows the low activity in the game there's just not much going on at any given time."

Yeah, with how the game is in terms of the pace of updates and the niche community, this subreddit is rather slow. I actually do like.
I think in the future, if the subreddit does get more activity, we can perhaps look at bolstering our moderation team.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to type these response, really thank you. We appreciate it.

What kinds of resources would you like to see added to the Subreddit?

This was an optional question that got 48 responses.

Option	Amount
Links to guides on other websites written by community members, such as for getting started, class guides, skill trees, etc..	35
Links to high-quality video creators on websites like YouTube, Twitch, etc..	16
Links to communities on other websites like forums, Mastodon (the fediverse), etc..	15

Many want guides to be linked to, and this is something that I would love to do, perhaps by using the subreddit wiki feature. In the meantime, the Phantasy Star Fleet Discord server has guide channels dedicated to both NGS and base PSO2.
For the "high-quality video creators on websites", somebody actually gave a length custom response that I'll put below:

Content creators do not belong in the sidebar. That's nothing but drama drama drama. Because at some point, someone has to set a "high quality" standard, and it's always arbitrary and someone will get hurt/mad/ostracized/whathaveyou. It could even lead to people abandoning the subreddit and forming a new one if the wrong creator is supported. What can work though, is linking to Sega's list of partnered creators (puts the drama on Sega rather than individuals), this seems to work fine in other gaming subreddits.

Agreed. We can set up a link to the "NGS Official Creators" page handled by SEGA. That makes more sense than maintaining our own. Thank you for reminding me that it exists :D
For the "links to other communities", if anybody has any suggestions on what to add, we can look at and add them if we feel they are worth adding to the subreddit wiki and "new reddit" menu. We've already done that for the PSO-World forums and Phantasy Star Fleet. I should add the "Arks Cafe" Misskey (Fediverse) server as well.
I'll also list the other custom responses here:

"Weapon guides w/ the class guides; Maybe guides or references to moneymaking strategies (PSE burst tech, note farming, etc.). Maybe a link to the NGS Official Creators page."

Please see my responses above.

"A stickied post for commonly asked questions"

The weekly questions megathread does have some links that should help out, but this is something we can improve on. We do have a FAQ wiki page that I created but I have admittedly neglected it...

"Link to the Arks Visiphone wiki as a high quality source of information about the game. May answer a lot of questions that eople may otherwise post on the subreddit"

We already do have links to this in some places, but we can look at making it more obvious

"A video game"

sir this is a community-run subreddit

"Possibly a news bot or a dedicated poseter for pso2 website articles to cut down on repetitive questions"

We are already looking into this :)

How did you originally find the Subreddit? Select all that apply.

This was an optional question and got 52 responses.

Option	Amount
Social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.)	1
Video websites (YouTube, Twitch, Niconico, etc.)	0
Instant Messaging (Discord, Telegram, Facebook Messenger, etc.)	0
Search engine (Google, Bing, Qwant, etc.)	10
In-game	0
Recommended by reddit	6
The /pso2 Subreddit	39

Thank you for answering this question. Many said they came from the /pso2 subreddit, with the rest coming from search engines, recommendations and social media. The following custom responses were given too:

• "Searching Reddit for PSO2 Subreddits"
• "Been a reddit user since the demise of Digg, if I play a game, I seek out its subreddit."
• "I started playing and then is searched it ip on reddit"

Ooh a Digg user. I never used it, but I've heard how it essentially self-destructed.

What servers do you play on for PSO2:NGS?

This was multi-choice.

Option	Amount
Global	49
JP	9

Naturally many users here play on the Global server, but some, including me, play on the Japanese server.

If your feedback has not already been covered by the previous questions, please write it below.

• "You're doing a great job!"
• "Keep up the good work!"
• "I've never understood what the "Out of context Central" posts are. If someone could put them in context when they get posted, that would be great."
• "The community is going good so keep it up"
• "I'd like to share some outfits eventually but posting the breakdowns is a little bit much many times."

Thank you sooooo much to everyone who took part in this survey. I am hoping to do something like this again next year.

I’m 9 weeks along in my 3rd HG pregnancy. I suffered silently with my first and ended up with a PICC line with my second. I seem to be somewhere in between this time where they will not give me a PICC line but I am still very dehydrated and feel I need IV fluids.
How often do you get IV treatments? What fluids are you getting? Who administers this? Does anyone do this independently of their doctor? Anything else you think I should know or ask for?
I’m feeling really hopeless and have 2 toddlers at home to take care of. I have tried all the regular meds but unfortunately only tolerate zofran. I really feel like routine hydration is my best bet but my doctor keeps referring me to the ER which is a 45 min drive and 12h wait.

I feel like I could actually be just spoiled and ungrateful. My husband of 20 years thinks that I am spoiled and ungrateful. I have four children. I had two from a previous marriage. My husband has always worked and has a good paying job. I was working at the same job when we got married but quit when I got pregnant to stay home and homeschool the kids.
My husband sees our rolls pretty traditionally. He believes that his job is to work and my job is to do pretty much everything else. He does take care of the outside and his cars. However, he doesn't do that consistently or take care of my car and when it doesn't get done, it is definitely not his fault. The kids should be doing more and since I am not good at keeping the house clean, why should he even bother? I admit that I am not good at keeping the house clean at all. I never have been which he knew before we got married. I also feel like he sabotaged my efforts. Over the years if I tell the kids there will be no electronics today because we are going to spend the day cleaning, he will bring a movie in and declare a "family movie day". I feel like this among other things, has made it harder for me to get my kids to take me seriously and the only way I can get them to help me is by yelling and being mean which I hate doing so I have basically given up. I have tried to do it all myself but like i said, I'm not good at it and after dealing with cancer several years ago, i am just too tired to do it. My house is a disaster and we cannot have anyone over.
It is also my job to pay the bills and if I ask for help, he tells me the the thing he always tells me when I ask for help or his opinion "just do what you think is best". For several years, this has included paying more than one mortgage because he had rental property that sat empty for many years or that the tenants would not pay rent on because he "never has time to deal with it." I have worked off and on over the years to help but also have built up credit card debt a couple of times which he had to pay off and still brings up to me when he is angry about money. Currently, he leaves what he considers enough money to pay the bills in the bank and takes the rest. I have no idea what he does with all of it. Because he says I will just spend it all. Honestly, he's not completely wrong. He finally sold the rental property in this market for much less than what it was worth instead of selling it to one of our kids who really could have used it or letting me use it to open a daycare which I have shown him the math on several times and explained that we could make a much larger profit on. The house was paid for and he has put that money with the rest of the money he has been keeping.
He always talks about how he is the only one who works and the only one who cares. So now that the kids are all grown, I have gotten a job that I was able to schedule around the family obligations that I still have. I am working more hours now and have gotten a promotion. He is always talking about how now he has lost me to my job and I never have time for him even though no matter how tired I am, I pretend not to be and am always willing to stay up with him. He says, no because its not fair because that would make him feel guilty. He does not like that I'm working and has always complained when I had a job that he has to claim on his taxes.
So if you are still reading, here are some more examples of the ways I think he could be abusive.
Financially, at this point, he watches every dime I spend where he has not wanted to be involved before, now he asks about every purchase I make and asks me to explain why I am spending what I do. He still will not help me make any decisions, he just waits until the decisions are made and then tells me they are all wrong. (This is a pattern in every aspect of our lives) He always says " I wouldn't even be mad if you spent the money on yourself but you spend it all on the kids and that's not ok" this makes me feel like a crazy person because in my mind, that does not sound like a bad thing. However, I cannot deny that I have overspent and have been financially irresponsible.
He has a way of saying things that don't sound all that bad but at the same time make me feel lower than dirt. He can simply walk through the room shaking his head and that's enough to get his point across that he thinks you are worthless. His disdain has been aimed mostly at my oldest son from a previous marriage and at myself but the others have experienced it as well. However, I wonder for sure if that is all in my mind and if I really am just too sensitive. He never says to me that I am a horrible mother or wife. He never uses those words at all, he just makes me feel that way. I also acknowledge that a good mother would never have allowed that to happen to her child.
He is constantly talking about how none of us care anything about him and that we only see him as a resource to be used. To be completely honest, at this point I kind of do see him that way and the kids might to some extent as well but I feel like he himself set that dynamic up. We used to try to involve him in our lives but he made it clear that his job was to work. He never felt obligated to be involved with parenting or coming to any of the kids activities or events or to help with school.he often would say he would do something, or pick the kids up but when it came too it, if something better came up or if he was tired, he just wouldn't do it. Or if I tried to force him I to doing something, he would do it and then make us pay for it. I quickly learned to never ask him to do anything. His parenting consisted of lectures. Hours of lectures telling them, in my opinion all the ways they screwed up and how he was a much better child than they are. He would go to a few activities a year, where he could show up to a ballet performance or karate tournament, shake hands with everyone, laugh, and talk about how they "must of got that from me because I was such a great wrestler in school" .
Sexually. Oh my goodness, this is a big one. I fully admit that we almost never have sex anymore and have not for many years. I don't want to. I have zero interest. I am have always struggled with depression and I know that contributes to my lack of interest. He has never physically forced me to do anything I didn't want to but he will throw hours long fits telling me how awful I am to make him feel bad by rejecting him until I apologize profusely and promise to do better. Then he gets angry because he thinks I'm not into enough. This is his main complaint against me.
The kids have all told me that they think he is abusive and that I should leave. I worry however, that I have skewed their view of him. Because I have definitely complained about him to them and i never should have done that. My daughter barely speaks to him because she is school on a full ride scholarship to be an engineer but he tells her all the time that he could introduce her to young guys at work that she could marry and she would never have to work. He says that clearly I have turned her against him.
There is so much more I could type. Cruel things he's said to me, like "I'm sorry you have cancer but you're ruining my vaction" and many more. But this has gotten way too long.
So I'm just looking for opinions from outsiders on this. I feel like it is mostly my fault because he never calls me names, never hits me, never does things that I feel like are overtly abusive. I just feel beat down and defeated. But I could also just be ungrateful and I really should be more appreciative of the fact that he has always worked and provided for me and my kids, even those that are not his and he continues to do that . Even my grandson now and really all he asks for in return is for adoration and sex, neither of which I can really bring myself to give him.
I don't feel like I can leave right now because I have no money and I have a disabled adult child that he still provides insurance for.
If you read all that, I really appreciate you. I know it was very long and probably kind of scrambled because at this point in my life, my brain feel very muddled and I can't always get my thoughts together. I used to feel competent and intelligent. Now I just feel like I was fooling myself. Maybe he's right and I am fully to blame.