Blessed family living simi valley

Recently my uncle left the city where he was living almost for 10 yrs one of his son is diagnose by down syndrome so he move out from the city a month ago recently he came back to take his sons cycle from his old household he heard a baby crying in a room but he didn’t check on it so he ran away from there than he told my father that he was experiencing these kind a things before he told my father he felt like someone is watching them all the time idk if it is true or not but my uncle is a well educated man so I don’t think so he is making up some stuff to grab attention from the family basically my whole family is confused because this type of stuff is happening for the first time.

Every night, at around 12:00-3:00 AM I get out of our house and walk around our subdivision to smoke cigs. I just smoke Marlboro Light and my usual intake is 2-3 sticks, this time I think I had 6-8 sticks. After smoking, went home, sat in our living room, watched an anime and waited for the nicotine to kick in. Didn’t expect that I’d experience different thing, my body suddenly feels numb & weak, feel dizzy, drool, and nauseous. It occurred vigorously which is why I accepted that I’d die tonight. I don’t want to wake up my family because they don’t know I am smoking. I want to be sent to the hospital but my dilemma is I wanted this, I’ve been waiting for this moment, I want to die and end my suffering in this God forsaken world.
Having said that, I researched regarding what I’m feeling. I had a glass of water and a spoon of sugar. It subsided but I still feel it, now I’m going to sleep this off and If I didn’t wake up my friends know what to do with my phone and stuff.

Few days ago, my girlfriend called me out for a walk and i was bored sitting at my house so i followed up with her. It was a nice walk and when i felt tired, i went to take a seat, so did she.
Suddenly, her parents appear out of nowhere and i was a bit scared, but she said that its fine so just sit down. I calmed myself a bit and sat and greeted uncle. Uncle reciprocated nicely but when i went to greet the aunt, she escalated the matter saying that she told her not to come at this place but you dont listen to your parents. You dont value them. Whereas it was a simple walking track and a nursery where people walk so she asked her mother that she doesnt see it as a problem. There were some strangers who we didnt even knew and suddenly her mom started calling them thinking those strangers are our friends pretending to be strangers and followed up with my girlfriend.
I told her mother that they are just strangers and im just a friend of her because neither of the parents knew about our relationship. Her mother told me to stop hanging out with her and then proceeds to create a racket.
Moving on, while we were moving to the exit, her mother was going to the wrong way which is, in the jungle. My girlfriend told her that was the wrong route but her mother rudely replies with "who are you to direct me? I know from which direction i came from." We all followed up until her father said not to come any further because if i do the problem will increase. I had to take my leave but still i was in a lookout to see if they managed to get out. Once i found it out i went home right away.
On the other side, my girlfriend and her parents were on the way, her mother suddenly got lost and they were in the search. From here, i dont know if you guys would believe me but when they found her out, her mother was at the hilltop suddenly, her dad went to check if she is alright and started running away from him. She said, "it is either me or that guy". My girlfriend in the middle of her explanation, her mother started screaming, "my daughter doesnt love me. Shes comfortable with her friends than with me" while her father was chasing her down, my girlfriend went home to take a sip.
Suddenly, her mother rushes to her bedroom, locks her room and take a stool and proceeds to hang herself. Her mother blackmails and mentally tortures her since her childhood. And i believe her mother is a psychopath but in the other hand she lost hope in living because other than her daughter, she had many struggles in her family and in her own family she made. She called out her daughter's name and hunged herself. My girlfriend thought that it was her usual day of scaring her and thought she might be going to her village so she was happy that she might get peace there. I have also encountered this moment and i thought it would go back to normal, but nobody, not even her dad and sister thought that her mother would take such a big step. Even me. After some time, she knocked on her mothers door but she wasnt responding so she tried to look below the door and saw her legs were swinging to and fro so it felt pretty unusual for her so she called someone and broke the door and found her mother hanging for half an hour. She was already dead. She was devastated.
My girlfriend already was having trauma but encountering this tragedy made her scared to go back to her own place. She took the blame of her death whereas it was not her fault. It was no one's fault. Her mother took that selfish decision and hunged herself, without thinking about her family, her daughters and her mother. I have no empathy towards her mother because of what she has done to her but despite that, my girlfriend cried for straight 3 days, didnt sleep, didnt eat and was completely drained. She loved her mother despite that. I feel bad for her. I cried alot that day too. My parents shreaked upon her mother and hoped that she will burn in hell because suicide is a sin, but for my girlfriend, she engraved it as her fault and is still in denial. What a petty reason for suicide. I cant even process that her mother killed herself kuz of this. I seriously hate her mother but for her i'd do anything for her to heal even if it means not to speak truth about her mother not resting in peace and preach good on her. We might have different opinions but i love her so much and ill always be there for her as her moral support.
What do you guys think? Her mother killing herself was my girlfriend's fault or was her mother completely selfish?
Please let me know because i wanna let her know that:
"Her death was not her responsibility and it will never be her fault even if her mother called out her name and hunged herself." Even so her mother guilt trapped her own daughter for life and i hate her alot for that.

Little background, I am 28 M, oldest child of 4 and have been exmormon and living on my own since I was 17. At the time, me leaving the cult was extremely painful on me and my parents but after a few years our relationship healed and has gotten even better over the years.
My family is respectful of my views, they don't agree with my lifestyle or faith choices but they just don't ever bring it up anymore. I drink around them occasionally without a problem and they never preach to me, don't even invite me to church anymore. All great!
I'v watched a younger sister go to BUYI and then on a mission and recently watched my brother go back to the cult at 21 (after stepping away at 18) and then heading to BYUI. Went up for one semester came back with a GF (sister he was assigned to for FHE) and has bought a ring. Watching this makes me sad and angry but I also tried to distance myself somewhere along the way from the cult and just accepted that people have different views, choose to live different lives and thats ok.
At least until the recent investing scandal. Ever since I found out like a month ago, I'v been on this sub for hours of my day almost everyday. Strengthening my testimony that my family is in a cult, it makes me so ANGRY and I don't know what to do about it.
On one hand, I want to do everything I can to break this family out of a cult its been victim to for 150 years. I don't want to watch my little brother be trapped by his marriage and church obligations. I really don't want to watch nieces and nephews grow up and have to deal with the same shit. I want my family to be free!
On the other hand, does bringing this stuff up to my mormon siblings/parents mean that I'm just turning into the annoying proselytizing guy that wants you to believe what he believes? Especially when they don't preach to me.
I brought the SEC scandal up to my brother and asked if he wanted to read the article, he said no. Just straight no. Would any amount of discussion, evidence, even a logical powerpoint filled with historical evidence of social wrongdoing, conflicting accounts, proof of plagarism logical wtfs, even have any effect on people who want to stick their heads in the sand?
What do I do?
Be annoying af and speak my truth.
Don't say anything at all since I don't have good things to say.
Either one seems not great for a strong relationship.

It's been more than a year since I realised that besides my family I have no one. Ever since then it feels like everything's been falling apart. I am hardly passing in school which I used to love. Engineering used to be everything for me and now I don't want to do anything. I am being more and more overwhelmed by feeling alone. I'm having the urges to harm myself.
It all got to a point where I realised that there's something wrong with me, I was diagnosed with severe depression and eventually put in the hospital for nearly 5 weeks. They changed my medication, I was released few weeks ago but it has gotten exactly where it was before or even worse.
I hate living this life.

Hello everyone!
I'm thinking of moving to Sudbury where my family lives after completing my PJ BEd next year and was wondering if anyone had any insights about what the school board is like, if there is a need for teachers on the English elementary side, and any other information that might be useful for the area? I can't seem to find much information online.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks 😊

This starts back 12 years ago when I was 16 and SIL was 14. SIL struggled to make friends and only had one friend. I enjoyed both my SIL and her friend so I started including them in my friend groups activities. This went on for a couple of years until my MIL started hating me and giving me the cold shoulder out of nowhere. Eventually SILs one friend stabbed her in the back and slept with SILs boyfriend. This ended that friendship and SIL was left with no friends, and very understandably devastated. I kept including her with my friends even though MIL was being so cold to me. Eventually I started feeling tension from my SIL, and this led to me cutting off all communication with her as well as with my MIL. My friends were obviously on my side and also stopped communicating with SIL. College happened, my husband and I moved in together and a few years pass of me having no contact with SIL or MIL. It was great, honestly. Well, then the friend who stabbed my SIL in the back ended up dating the cousin of my husband and SIL. My husband and I were super close with this cousin so this led to me getting close with SILs ex-friend. SIL was completely out of our lives by this time and she never had a close relationship to this cousin the way myself and my husband did. So none of us really thought anything of it. Plus, by this time, we are all into our 20s (including SIL). Well, one evening the 4 of us (myself, husband, his cousin, and SILs ex-friend) are eating at a restaurant, and MIL, FIL and SIL all walk in together. I guess, according to MIL, SIL burst into tears the moment they got seated. MIL made sure to text us and tell us how horrible we were being to SIL by eating with “those people”. We had ate several dinners with them at this point and were fairly removed from my husbands parents and sister. Anyways, we keep eating out with them (secretly) and they eventually get engaged. Of course, they want husband and I in their wedding. MIL catches wind of this and forbids us from even being guests at their wedding. She has the power of dangling my husbands inheritance and trust over his head, and she made sure to do that. Allll on behalf of SIL. She encouraged SIL to reach out to my friend group (still the same friends from when I was a teenager) to see if she could start getting included again. None of them responded to her. My MIL then writes letters and mailed them to my friends to ask if they can still include “sis”. None of them responded, and they were super weirded out at this point. Husband and I are forced to end communication with his cousin and SILs ex-friend (who at this point she now has the SAME last name as my husbands family 😂). This was a terribly sad distance to force and I cried many times. Well, now it’s been a few more years and husband and I have a daughter. Also, husbands cousin and his wife (SILs ex-friend) have a daughter. We have all been chatting again and we really want to get our daughters together to meet for the first time. MIL has absolutely forbid this and says we can count ourselves out of the inheritance if we do this. SIL and her husband live in a house at the end of MIL and FILs driveway. Idk what the big deal is if we reconnect with this cousin and his family.

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https://reddit.com/link/144idjb/video/sqb686u3hu4b1/player

I am male 40. My partner is female 48. We got together 6 years ago, through tinder, as FWBs. We liked each other so much we became closer, and then had some pregnancy news...
Long story short, I moved into her apartment, in the expectation/hope we would be a family. It sadly proved not to be. It was unexpected but the biological clock is cruel. The first pregnancy which brought about me moving in after a year, ended prematurely as did the next few.
We really got on with each other and still do. I know this sounds obvious but it was just so easy compare to previous relationships.
Time wore on... hopes of a family had ended by covid. We were together 24/7 working from home and still got on well. Our sex life gradually nosedived after 2019 and we are now down to once a month or two. This is mostly down to me, I found it progressively harder to find her sexually attractive and in fact I barely engage sexually other than out of duty.
Despite being together so much we rarely talk about things deeply anymore and rarely mention past issues of the pregnancies.
She is deeply unhappy with me. She still loves me I believe and wants me to love her. I cannot find her sexually attractive anymore than out of duty and treat it as paying rent.
Currently I am 'between jobs' hoping to enter a new progression. I am her tenant and we live in a big expensive city. Things have come to a head after her frustration with me. Though some triggers seem ridiculous I am sure they have roots in our unhappy sex life and the fact I am obviously unhappy and have been for some time. For example the current argument bringing things to an impasse is me not liking her food which I tried to hide from her.
She has proposed we break up and I move out. But .. I cant move anymore. I am sure we can negotiate amicably but that would presuppose we confirm we are breaking up but living together for (I dont know:S)...
Deep down I know we should break up and perhaps should have done years ago. I had always wanted a family and it seems impossible with her. Yet I had fantastised and still do about having children with her, and had prayed so much she would get and stay pregnant.
I wake up in the middle of the night and think of leaving her every day, for years now. She senses it. She is the kindest most considerate woman and I feel so weak and cruel for both ending it now and not having ended it years ago (and probably for having started it in the first place).
There are so many practically considerations to this that I cannot even comprehend let alone the nightmare of potentially ending this relationship. It seems I should have ripped the band aid off years ago. It really seems I (and she) will probably end up paying for my own weakness.
I dont really have the first idea how to progress with things other than lay things out to her and let her decide which again is a cowards way out. I just really want to be friends with her but not lovers anymore.
This is is a long ramble... mostly therapeutic on my own part. Hopefully it makes sense to someone out there.
TL;DR - almost certainly have to end a relationship but dont know how without breaking both our hearts.
Edit: It may seem ridiculous that I (maybe) want t end this relationship now after 6 years yet wanted to have a family with this woman beforehand. If it was possible to have a family with her I think I would want to stay with her and have a family.
Edit: the 'moving out' part is a genuine practical concern though not the main reason and far from it, as to why I want to end this. It is not my main motivation for not wanting to end this relationship it just is a very real fear on my part.
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what would you do? Is there happiness in settling for a less than perfect relationship, agreeing some sex or discussing donor eggs pregnancy?

Throughout my (50F) 30-year relationship with her son (55M), my MIL has incessantly micromanaged our parenting, disregarded our boundaries, and disregarded our explicit requests. She pushes for detailed information from us about our adult children, despite their reluctance to talk to her. While they have better relationships with her, they struggle to establish boundaries; she persistently pushes until she gets her way. During COVID, she was furious when I didn't bring "her grandbaby" to visit her in the first year after he was born due to caution. Her influence has been a constant source of conflict in our marriage as my husband always sides with her. I chose to go no/small contact with her a decade ago to protect our family. In a recent argument, my husband told me he will only see the positive side of his parents, refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing on their part, and forbade me from criticizing them. To maintain peace, I complied.
Recently, my MIL invited my husband and her other adult children to spend 12 days with them in Europe and have been pressuring him to agree. He wants to go but I told him that I could not support a twelve-day trip! Some of our adult children struggle with mental health and still live with us, not to mention we have a two-year-old that needs constant time and attention! My husband cannot take much time off from work and generally works 60-hour weeks. I would really appreciate vacation time to be spent helping me (I take care of everything else round the house and our newest child 24/7). I am exhausted. I told him that twelve days is ridiculous and that I didn't even want him to go as she would undoubtedly speak ill of me and he will be leaving all responsibility of care of our children to me for that period. I said I could support four days. He was extremely unsatisfied with that and kept pushing for more time.
We moved his ticket back by a day and I was unhappy with that but just wanted to be done. Then he bought a ticket that gets in an hour and a half earlier but leaves three hours earlier. I told him that I would refuse to support his trip if he kept the ticket that he bought instead of the one we agreed on. I am just so frustrated because this is the balance, he is really willing to give up my whole support of the trip in exchange for an hour and a half more with his mother. I am hurt and so tired of this constant bickering about his mother, he clearly does not value me. She also has done things like this multiple times where she asks her adult children with kids and responsibilities to drop everything and go spend time with them somewhere (without their spouses or kids).
Also, I don't even know what "refusing to support this trip" means bc nothing will change. I'm still going to take care of the house and the children and one of my adult daughters advised me to not try to cut future trips short because he took "extra time" on this one which I'm planning on following. So what do you think, Reddit? AITA?

Long story short: I'm 27 while my cousin is slightly older, 30. We started flirting long ago in 2015, I always knew something was up but I couldn't believe that she was truly flirting with her cousin.
We used to spend a lot of time together, we had a common hobby, we were both taking singing classes at the time and we used to practise songs together.
I was into her, she truly was and is really pretty (coming from a guy who has sky high standards), however, I did know it was wrong to feel that way and I didn't really want to act on it. I used to ignore her during our ''family gatherings'', I wanted to hide my feelings at all costs, but at some point she literally asked me ''why are you so cold to me? We're cousins. We should try to have a good relationship.'' , we broke the ice and started getting closer.
Fast forward to Christmas 2015: we celebrated Christmas with our family that year. She had been flirting with me the whole year, calling me good-looking and handsome making physical contact etc. but I would always think to myself ''maybe she just wants to fool me and play. No way she's serious''.
she was smoking a cigarette in the garden, there was nobody around, I walked up to her, I had something to say, as soon as I started speaking, she literally just grabbed my face and kissed me on the lips and then she said something playful but I don't remember what.
I ignored that event and after that Christmas we didn't see each other for a few months. I was literally in love with her at that point and she was literally on my mind the whole time. But again, I didn't want to act on it. I started seeing her in autumn 2016, I didn't choose to see her again, my mum asked her for a favour and we happened to meet again. This time she literally crossed the line... we were in the car together, she started touching my inner thigh repeatedly and used a couple of sexual innuendos. However, I still didn't act on it and I just ignored what she was doing.
A few days later I found out that she had asked my friends if I was gay. In 2017 she found a job in another city, she lived in that city in until 2021, she moved back to our hometown last year and I met her again during a family gathering a couple of months ago. She called me attractive again, she literally said ''you're a handsome man'' , but she didn't sound flirty this time, she sounded like she was just paying a compliment, she acted normal the whole time.
I don't regret not acting on it, but I honestly really enjoyed the attention she gave me during those years, I couldn't believe my prettiest cousin wanted to sleep with me, I remember I felt like I was living a dream. Yeah nothing happened, but I still enjoyed every moment of it. When I saw her again a couple of months ago, I realized I still have a little crush on her. She was the second woman I kissed.

Having an eating disorder is a tough way to live life. I have met my partner while she had an ED and I didn’t know anything about it. After about a year she told me and I was very supportive, also thinking it was something temporary. We have had ups and downs and her ED was sometimes better sometimes worse. However after more than 10 years it is breaking my relationship apart. It has been ongoing from the beginning of course, and I was more flexible and rebounding the first 7 or so years, but after a long time I just can’t take it anymore.
Nearly every day for nearly our entire relationship there has to be something “bad” going on. I know how I should respond to bad days or how to show support. But I can’t rebound anymore, the bucket is not only compelety filled, the entire town is flooded and I can’t take another drop anymore.
This also makes everything worse, because now one big problem had become two. But I can’t pretend it’s not doing anything to me, and not affecting my mental health.
So I would like to ask, is there any support group for partners of people with ED? I just need to be able to speak to someone else about this. Even after all this time, I can’t mention her destructive behavior and eating disorder to anyone. My family doesn’t know and my friends know some superficial stuff. Everyone thinks everything is going good and life is smooth, but it’s the opposite. And I think, even if I would tell my family or friends, they wouldn’t really understand or be able to help, so a support group would really be useful.
Thanks in advance and sorry if I offended someone, I don’t know anymore.

If this is painfully obvious or explained in like the next episode then I apologize.
But so Cousin Tony says that he lost his daughter and apartently lived with the Soprano family and then left?
Again I apologize if this is really obvious and I am just not picking up on.

I'm a single father of three children. 9yo, 7yo, yo, i've been separated from their mother for almost two years. The kids stay with me and I can't allow the children to stay with her overnight without me present. We haven't gone to court about any of this yet. The major reason I'm going it alone taking care of the kids is because she has told me she has a child molester in her family but won't tell me who it is. She and a few other family members have been victims but none have disclosed who it is except one. Her niece told me it was her grandfather (my kids moms father) but when I approached my children's mother about it she scoffed at me as if I was completely off the mark. This only makes me feel like there may be more than one person who is touching little girls in that family. That being said, I am not sure what type of actions to take. It's as if she chose to protect the family membe members who abused children over being accessible to her children. It sucks because her side of the family has a lot of children and my kids are missing out on bonding experiences with cozins and even the rest of the family. They have a large family and for the most part they seem to be loving and fun and very close. I don't really have the same dynamic on my side of the family. Don't get me wrong my family is great but we don't have a big family with a bunch of kids and don't do a lot of social activities as a big family like they often do. I wish I could allow my children to spend vacations and other holidays with their mother and her family but I am concerned for their safety. I have been struggling because I'm torn. Should I tell the authorities? Do I even have enough evidence? Will this just make things worse between me and my children's family? What if we go to court and the law allows my children to be in this environment? don't know anymore... I'm exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically and it's summer break and my kids are here with me when they could be spending quality time with their mother, big brother (i had a stepson for 11years with her. He's 15 now) cozins ect. They always have so much fun and I'm sure they miss everyone. I want to move on with this chapter in our lives but I need help...

(Throwaway account) Hello everyone, I am a doctor in Europe. I have been working for a bit over a month in a specialty I had no previous experience with. My university was very strong in the academic front but lacked miles when it came to anything practical, so when it was time to chose a specialty I just chose what I thought was interesting when studying. Fast forward to today and I hate it. Going to work every day is like walking to the slaughterhouse. I detest it. Just thinking that this is going to be the rest of my life brings me to tears. Yes, I guess with time I’d learn to live with it. But after all those years of studying, being away from my family, investing hours and summers into this career, I don’t want to just “tolerate” my job. I also think that if it’s something I’m not passionate about, I’ll always be mediocre at it. Thing is, I’m quitting tomorrow. Yes, my boss is going to make the two following weeks a living hell (we have a two week notice here) but I’m willing to put up with it. My main problem atm is that I’m dealing with a lot of shame, embarrassment and self doubt… I feel like I’m weak for leaving instead of staying and just do a good job. I feel like I’ll be punished in the future for doing this and I’ll never find a field I like. I feel like I’m less intelligent than everyone around me and I don’t deserve to be a doctor or to work as one. I feel like I’m too soft because I detest surgery…
Has anyone else lived a similar situation or gone through similar feelings in relation to a job?
Thanks

My shower is this weekend, it will be very small, maybe 7-8 friends and no family as they all live out of State. Most of my friends don’t like shower games and neither do I so we opted not to have any but I worry it might be a little boring especially considering half my friends don’t know anyone that will be there. Any advice on some activities we could do that aren’t typical baby shower games?
Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone,
My family lives in Germany since 1996. Some of us have the German citizenship already, others don't.
My mother has the approval of naturalisation already since 3 or 4 years (was extended once) but her problem was that she did / does not manage to be expatriated from the Russian Federation.
Long story short: My mom took care of my sick grandmother, who passed away from cancer last year, as well as of my disabled sister plus is working full-time. She does not live in a big city where a consulate is and it is very difficult to get an appointment and find a day to travel to the next Russian embassy / consulate. Even when I visited to help her out, it did not work out.
Now Germany allows double citizenship with Non-EU countries. But I didn't find a date anywhere from when on this will be possible. Does anyone know?
I tried to reach the naturalization office multiple times without success. They do not pick up the phone and do not react to my email. Might try it via letter or fax (LOL).
Thankful for any tipps!

I apologize in advance that this might get long. I used a throw away account for privacy.
Backgroud:
I am the step mom in this situation. Met my husband when my step son was 2, husband has had him physically in his custody since before then but was officially granted it when he was 5 right before kindergarten. The situation back then is a whole novel itself but why husband has custody basically boils down to his x needing to address a lot of issues and status quo. Our relationship with his mom and step dad has always been up and down. We were long distance for a long time due to us all being military so the custody order on paper shows that she gets him half of winter break and 6 weeks of summer. There were 3 summers where she didn't want to travel to get him and a few holidays where she opted to wait until summer instead. She also has always had this weird opinion about him needing to be taught to be the one to care about calling her and so she's refused to call him over the years and yells at us for not teaching him to value family every once in a while and that we're teaching him to be selfish. So they unfortunately have not had the closest relationship.
We all left the military 6-8 years ago, though, and 2 years ago I was offered a position in a city closer to step-son's mom. I ended up accepting it and we moved an hour and 15 minutes from them. Before I took the job, my husband talked to his mom and she was excited about the potential for us to be closer and they declared that they would to move to the same metro area so he could see them more often. The plan was honestly for him to work up to 50/50 with them. There is pretty much an hour of nothing between here and the smaller college town they live in. They both live off of their VA disability (we all get it, they just choose not to work, which is fine, but important for context) and don't have any ties to the town they're in, and it wasn't possible for us to get any closer to them because of the nothingness between where we are and their town and lack of jobs in our field in their town.
Once we moved, they changed their minds and instead decided to only take EOWE and EOW in summer. Still more time then before but not what she had made it seem like she was going to do. It always really confuses me because she will do things like this and not make sacrifices for him but then blow up on us later that she doesn't get enough time with him and it's our fault. We never paid to have the court order updated so it still reflects the long distance plan. Honestly, there is no benefit on our part to update it just 3 years before he is an adult. If she doesn't think my husband is being fair, she can go for it, but he waived child support to avoid a fight 10 years ago and she has never filed for anything since because of not wanting to be forced to pay by a judge. My husband has always been fair and keep it at the EOWE schedule and have often agreed for her to take extra time if she has something planned.
The caveat is that pretty much everything has to be on her terms or she's unhappy. He is going to be 15 in a few months and starts high school in the fall. He's started to want to do more things. He joined marching band (which is a pretty big commitment at his high school) and freshman football. Both require M-Th practices pretty much all of summer besides a few weeks. This obviously left him unable to go EOW for the summer and he probably never will be able to again. She told him that he doesn't act like he wants to be with her enough when he's there and doesn't want to waste gas or time to get him. But then told him he's selfish for wanting to "spend time with friends you'll never see again instead of family". My husband basically scheduled for her to have all the free days through the summer that step-son doesn't have activities going on. He took one 5 day block for himself and that's it.
tl:dr
After asking him, he told her that he sometimes wants to stay home. She hates that he doesn't always want to do the long drive on her weekends after a busy week and is furious that he is "choosing" activities over hanging around her house. And is complaining about his joining things saying that my husband isn't giving her enough time. I can't imagine that any court would tell a teenager that he can't participate in high school activities. He wants a job after the fall if he can find one that takes 15 year olds, too. Admittedly, both my husband and I are pretty mad that they refused to hold up their end of the agreement two years ago and move closer for him. It really feels like they just refuse to ever put him first. However, I do wonder if they would still complain if he needed to be dropped off places if they had to actually do some of that part of parenting considering what we're going through right now. We had warned that it would get hard with the distance the older he gets. And he's starting to get extremely resentful of her. This is the closest she's ever been in his life and she hasn't gone to attend one event of his. My husband tried to explain to her that if we were still long distance, he basically would've ended up having to skip the whole summer to participate and it goes in one ear and out the other. I just don't understand how to navigate this, be fair to both them and ourselves, and most of all to my step-son. We're dealing with two very different parenting ideologies here. We are very "parents make sacrifices for children"/child focused and they are very "children make sacrifices for family"/centered around their own version of fair.
Any advice from anyone who has navigated this?
Are we just going about this all wrong or being unreasonable for expecting them to sacrifice for him?
What custody schedule would you expect in either ours or their position? Would you expect a teenager to quit things to spend time with you if you were the non-custodial parent?

I want to have a baby as soon as possible. I got pregnant last year but miscarried. My husband and I are planning to try again very soon. However I brought up to him that for the month after I give birth, I would like to hire someone to come like maybe 10 hours a week to clean, maybe do some house chores, heat up food, help with the pets, just light work and random help where needed. . . In my area I can find someone of good quality for 30$ an hour, so that would be like 1200 in the month.
He has vehemently opposed this, calling it wasteful, unnecessary and something only rich people do. Mind you i did not grow up wealthy (i grew up in a hard working immigrant family). Also he makes almost 200% area median income (AMI) where we live. He said he won't pay for it and I (who currently only make about 50% of AMI doing landscaping and my small businesses) can pay for it myself if I want it.
I'm really hurt by this. Is this unreasonable and spoiled? I like the idea to have someone there to keep my company, help me with baby, help Me around the house. I don't have any family particularly close so that they can be here with me regularly. He is willing to spend his money on other personal things, but has admitted he needs to clamp down on his spending because although we dont share finances, he has agreed to start putting away a certain amount to help buy a home one day. Still it feels unfair to say this is unnecessary and feels like he isn't willing to be protective or supportive.
I know it's not NECESARRY but I also know it will help prevent me from becoming as depressed (I am already prone to becoming depressed) and stop taking care of myself.
What do you think? Have you hired help? If so would you consider your family unit wealthy , average, or low income?

Hi Reddit,
I just started querying and have realized my query letter will need some rounds of revision. I would love some feedback.
Shattered Ice Query Letter:
Dear ....
In a forgotten mining town built under the ice of a frozen planet, eighteen-year-old Kira barely makes a living out of retrieving lost gear in the mines. As an immigrant, she's always dreamed of escaping the confines of this desolate world, finding solace in iceboarding, and yearning for a chance to compete in the prestigious Stallo contest.
But when an enigmatic medical company descends upon the town following a catastrophic mining accident, Kira's life takes a perilous turn. A promise to her dying father binds her fate—she must never let them test her blood, nor allow them to capture her. Yet, the only path to freedom lies above, beyond the treacherous surface of Eirlys.
Haunted by her father’s secrets, Kira is thrust into a centuries-long hunt for those blessed—or cursed—with extraordinary abilities. And with each passing moment, the weight of her promise becomes increasingly evident. But will she be able to keep it when she learns the price? And who can she trust in a world where survival is everything?
SHATTERED ICE is a NA epic Sci-Fi adventure, complete at 112639 words. It will appeal to fans of SKYWARD by Brandon Sanderson and THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins. While SHATTERED ICE can stand alone, it is the first in a planned TRILOGY.
A quote to summarize the theme of SHATTERED ICE. "In challenges, we face the worst beast of them all. Ourselves."
I grew up in a small town called Ski in Norway. As a child, I spent hours reading every book I could find. But, to my mum's annoyance, I always read SFF.
And then, at eighteen, I was told I shouldn’t write, and I was devastated.
Fast forward, I graduated with an MD in Behavior Analysis and Complexity from Oslo Metropolitan University in 2018 and moved to San Diego in 2019. Moving here gave me a fresh start and an opportunity to rediscover old passions. And so, one night, I began writing SHATTERED ICE.
Thank you for your consideration.

I (17 male) went to a country in Africa ( that I won’t name for certain reasons ) for holiday. At first it was chill. I actually had fun . Got high. Had sex with some baddies . Had a great time . One day as I was leaving a girls house , tell me why a truck full of men with rifles stops in front of me. They point their weapons at me screaming at me to get on the ground . I get on the ground absolutely scared shitless . They come over to me and beat the absolute shit out of me with no remorse . They chain up my legs and put a bag over my head and take me in their truck. I pass out from all the pain and blood . I wake up blood all on my clothes in chains absolutely traumatised. I look around to see women getting raped and little girls getting raped. Men are being whipped and abused and some boys are experiencing SA too it was one of the worst sights I’ve ever seen in my life. They would rape everyone there and treat them like shit , they would give us scraps and ruin our lives. I honestly thought I was gonna die . I thought I’d never see my family again . People were being sold left and right , mostly pretty girls and little boys. I was scared for my life . I didn’t wanna be a slave , so I started cleaning doing chores to get extra food , I gained their trust acted like I was their freind and smiled and the guards stopped beating me they would laugh with me smoke with me . I made a freind in there he was smart like me let’s call him Max.he’s American he was a gangster in American and got kidnapped on holiday like me. Max was my guy . We worked together gaining their trust till they eventually made us part of their regime after a couple months . They gave us small pistols and uniform and trusted us. They told us we were gonna go to kidnap some pretty girls and rape them . We got in a truck together and we were on our way. It felt sooo good to free too good I wanted to leave this country immediately. While we’re driving max shoots one of the guys , (there’s 6 of them )and takes his rifle and shoots at the other guys he manages to get 4 of them one of them being the driver, the car flips over and we fall in different directions out the truck. As he attempts to get up on of the guys shoots him in the stomach. I’m standing there frozen and I shoot the kidnapper. He died on the spot. You must be thinking where are the feds , there’s literally no government in that dead country . The other guy died in the car crash. We ran away and escaped and went home . I booked a flight straight to London and never looked back .