All my life (23 M) I have been the odd one out, the loser the loner. The one no one wants to hang out with. The one that walks behind alone in a group of friends, the one other people don’t take interest in. The one no one messages, the one people ignore what I say.
My parents had a traumatic life and they developed a lot of insecurities which were passed down to me. I never felt loved growing up. From a young age I always felt like I was never good enough to be friends with other kids and that was reinforced by how I was treated by other kids. I was bullied a lot growing up.
For the past three years I decided to change my self. I got good at boxing, polished my social skills, worked on my physique. Gained knowledge. Got a uni degree. Changed my appearance . Worked on my sense of humour. Volunteered, started a charity. But still I get treated like I am not worthy of being loved or appreciated.
Just feel like no matter how much I try to improve myself people will never love me.
I have accepted that this is just who I am. This is the test that Allah swt put me with on this earth. This is my qadr. To be an undesirable human.
With all the work I put in I feel confident now and have self esteem.and I stopped caring what others think about me.
But I yearn to feel connection and a belonging.
I have accepted that I am just unlovable. I stopped trying to make new friends and don’t wish to get married anymore. I don’t want to go through the pain of feeling unlovable.
I get told I’m a good looking guy and have a mains heart, but have no idea why I am so undesirable.
All I’m going to do now is take care of my parents and practice islam, and hope Allah takes me from this world when I’m left completely alone.

I feel like I'm over you and I really believe I am
But you keep reappearing
Reflections of you
That I attract without even realizing it
But wait--this one writes like you
Has a big hearty laugh like you
Said he'd do anything to be with me
But the instant I said yes and seemed happy?
Boom!
It got turned around as to whether or not I could make him happy!!!
All the promises to work on building my trust?
Out the window!
Like you, he felt bad and simply gave up
Leaving me to do the work of cutting ties
Unlike you, he didn't bother to tell me it was over
I found a personal ad, recently posted--
(The accounts of mine that he knew about had been blocked. A girl can't have too many alts, I guess! Also how lazy to post the ad that I told him I'd read thoroughly, word for word, in a sub he knows I know?)
--I couldn't muster up any anger, though:
I wasn't there to look for him.
I gave a tired sigh
Didn't even want to write--just recorded a voice message:
"It shouldn't be this hard this soon."
Among other things
Cntrl-C, Cntrl-V, Block, Delete, Unsend
Now I'm lying here wondering:
Was that the last of your reflections?
For now, or for good?
Almost everyone I've met has reflected you somehow
Some painfully obvious; some far more subtle
I hope now I know what to look for
So I can look in the mirror again
Without any fear of what I'll see.

TW: Transphobia, racism(?) toxic religion/Christianity
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I love my mom dearly, but god she is so frustrating sometimes and I just need to let this out. Soon after I woke up today she was talking about stuff with the covid vaccines and how they're dangerous and somehow that would turn into the "transgender craze" among children these days and how "Satan is attacking children with this trans ideology". There was brief mentions of abortion later and I said "well I don't really see an issue if it's before it has a heartbeat" (not really my beliefs but watered down because my mother is super anti-abortion, I could really care less what other afab people do with their bodies). She was super disappointed and stopped talking to me for a bit until I asked if she was upset, and she told me, "no but I'm disappointed that you think that" and that she didn't understand how I could be a Christian with that sort of thought process (she doesn't know I'm pretty apathetic towards religion), also that she never would have expected that from me. Anyway that's besides the main point, and I ended up just rebuking the thing later so she would get over it.
A lot of times I keep my mouth shut or just say pretty little on the topic, but this time I just couldn't do it. I started by saying I didn't agree that trans people were demonic or something, and her rebuttal was "well that isn't what I said". It isn't, but she compared trans children to being attacked by Satan so...not sure how that's much better? I was standing up for trans people and she didn't like that I was being passionate and a little aggressive, so she was saying that I act like I'm right and I shouldn't just google everything and I should think for myself. She was so adamant wanting to know why I'm supportive of trans people, and just spat out general garbage about how trans women being in sports is bad and "men are trying to be women to get in the women's restroom! womanhood is being destroyed!" The worst of it all was her comparison to wanting to be black. Her statement was along the lines of, "ok so if trans women are saying what it takes to be a woman is integrity and courage (or something, courage was one I don't remember the other word), then why doesn't it take integrity and courage for me to be black? Would that be ok if I wanted to be black?" I replied that those aren't the same thing and she was like "explain how they are" - I was honestly taken aback by her even saying it, I didn't know how to explain (not like she would hear me out anyway). All I could say was, well I could find some explanations for you but she wanted to hear my opinion, again not have me google it. I didn't respond to that and the conversation moved on from it.
In the end I just had to act like I heard her side somewhat (I didn't really rebuke anything I said outright except for the abortion thing, but I just eventually realized this was a losing battle so I gave in) and said it was more important to show compassion rather than judgement. She said she agreed but you really can't after saying stuff like that. It hurts my heart because she outright asked if I want to transition when I'm an adult (I was forced to come out as trans a few years back, went through a phase where I bought into all my parents hardcore conservative Christian beliefs, and then fell out of that) and if I'm just saying/doing things to please her and my dad. It's hard because I don't want to transition really but I do want to present more masculine, but I can never explain my gender identity because both of them strongly believe there's only two genders (God created male and female is what they say and that God makes no mistakes). She thinks we're so close and I wish that were true, but it isn't because I don't feel like myself around her, I don't feel safe in my own identity, and my parents love for me is conditional. I just can't stand that someone can be so judgmental but then say they don't judge others and love everyone like God would want them to, it's so hypocritical.
Sorry this was so long, thank you if you read this far, hope you have a blessed morning/afternoon/night

So I'm from the UK and I'm currently in turkey after travelling here alone to have a BBL. Im no stranger to plastic surgery I have had a breast aug a couple years ago too so I'm aware of the pain and risks, however this surgery has gone horribly wrong for me. I bled out a lot and lost consciousness which resulted in me needing 2 blood transfusions. As you can imagine, being alone in a different country going through something so traumatic, I was terrified and in a lot of pain and needed all the emotional support possible to help put my mind at ease. My boyfriend couldn't make it on the trip because he has work obligations which is completely understandable, so prior to the surgery I asked him if he could call / text me checking in on me & answer phone calls to me so I could keep him updated and overall have someone to support me. Every time I have called him he's seemed so uninterested in what I have to say and how I'm feeling, he's dismissing my pain because this surgery was "my choice" and I should "gather my emotions and deal with it myself" and this has really hurt my feelings. He strained his neck a few weeks ago and took time off work and I looked after him so the least I would expect is a phonecall or two after a horrific surgery experience. The night after my surgery he had plans to go clubbing with his friends which I asked him if he wouldn't mind skipping so I had someone to FaceTime while I was here as I'm all alone, scared, in pain, and nobody around me speaks my language and it's overall a really difficult time. He argued with me saying it's unfair for him to miss out on his night out just because I'm in pain but he doesn't realise I need the emotional support. He made more of a fuss over his night out than me nearly bleeding to death. Am I being too needy or is he being an A**hole? All answers welcome x

I cant sleep and this is the reason. I (39 M) kicked my daughter (16 F) out of my house after she disobeyed my rules. Just a quick backstory, me and my daughter never really had a good relationship. She often kept secrets from me when she was a kid, I would only see her twice a month and we fought like cats and dogs, and she often lied to not only me but her mother in middle school. A year ago I got custody over her and her little brother. She had wonderful grades throughout the year and she was given the opportunity to be in an honors class and I pushed her into taking the class. She didn’t want to do it and she basically begged me not to take the class because she didn’t think she could do it, but I believed in her and signed her up for it. Throughout this year she has gotten grades 70 and lower because she was not putting in any effort. She would come home study for no more than 30 minutes, play on her phone or x-box, eat, then go to sleep. Back in February, I had decided to get her permit and she had been getting ready to go for the test when I got an email from her teacher telling me her grade was a 62%. I got pissed and as soon as she got out of the shower, we had a yelling match. I asked her why her grade was so low and she used the excuse she ‘had a lot going on and that she was trying’ I sent her back to her room and stripped away all entertainment and electronics until she was done all of her schoolwork. Even after two weeks, her grade never went up. Still, she had nothing. She would stay in her rook even after finishing her work and just sleep. I excused her behavior at first for a breakup she was going through and bullying but even after no improvement, I set up a meeting with her teacher and my ex wife (her mother). After talking, we decided tutoring was the best option. My daughter left the meeting crying and even after school remained mad at me. We got into another argument after she gave me attitude. She went with her mom that weekend and did get the grade up to 75% but I still wanted her to take the tutoring. I got an email from her principal saying she had skipped her first session and wanted to drop out of tutoring. I text my daughter that she was the CHILD and I was the ADULT and she does not get to make the decision for dropping out. She text me back telling me she went to her teacher to study for her test and thats why she skipped. Again, she was making excuses for not succeeding. She did get the issue fixed but I was still mad when she got home so I told her to leave, she ended up getting her mom to pick her up and created a sob story where she was the victim. Im now getting angry text from her mother and grandmother about how im an asshole but I just want what is best for my baby girl, So am I the AH?

I don't understand it. My father verbally, physically, and psychologically abused me from when I could remember, to when he kicked me out of my life when I tried to re-establish a relationship with him a year ago. I really did my best to be a good person and help him with his issues. I did my best to be a good son and never fuck up, never make a mistake. I did my best to be perfect, to align with the right beliefs and live the right life. Still, in the end it wasn't good enough, and my other family members knew about it for so long, but they just told me he loved me, and they did nothing.
Why do I feel like I'm to blame? Why do I remember the good moments we had together? The times he did help? Why can't I let go of this shit, and why do I sometimes feel like I really was the problem and I was a piece of shit son? Why can't I stop thinking about it all from his perspective and how much he's hurting, and why can't I stop wanting a good relationship with him and wanting to help him, even when he says to my face that he doesn't need me or anybody else?
It's just like he yelled at me one day, a question I can't stop asking myself. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I’ve been struggling with my brother a bit. He’s in a similar financial situation to me which is terrible. We both went to college and couldn’t get a good job with our degrees so all we got was the debt. We’re both in credit card debt and can barely afford bills. It is not easy to get health insurance at these shit jobs, they’ll make you work forever for it. Anyways, he’s been hit with dental issue after dental issue costing $5,000 which killed him. Then his car died, he had an accident because of it. Had to get a new car. Now his teeth once again are giving him agonizing pain. His face swells and he is extremely irritable. Can’t afford a doctor or any help. Can’t pay off his debt. We’re both in a similar situation. I just don’t know what to say or how to be comforting. I tell him to go into more debt and lose another tooth but he gets really upset. He keeps talking about suicide

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Can Ouroboros be used to create a 2nd Ouroboros with unlimited uses (basically not one of twenty)?
I believe yes since it can copy the effects of other WCIs.
I see two scenarios for this to happen. 1) A player uses Ouroboros before the shutdown of Yggdrasil and the developers agree since the game is ending anyway.
2) The same is done on the New World except the wish is simply granted instead of a request being sent to someone.
While dangerous you can make it useless for others to use since you could restrict it's use to yourself. Like how a Guild Weapon being restricted for the Guild Master's use.
A talent holder, whose talent allows to use all magic items, would be able to use it but this could be countered by causing some sort of penalty to the unauthorized user like the wish not be granted or the user being erased. After all the talent doesn't undo penalty that came with using it. For example Ainz tries using this 2nd Ouroboros but nothing happens but when Nfirea Bareare uses it he can use it but suffers a penalty.
Another counter, one that can happen only to the New World would be to make the talent useless when tried on the second Ouroboros.
If Ainz can block Fluder and Arche's talent then why can't an item do the same? Their talent is blocked since he has a ring that protects against divination and the talent is a divination attack, or at least counts as one.
Yggdrasil didn't have a counter specifically against Talents but such a counter could be made in the New World. For example Nfirea Bareare can't use it at all despite the talent
https://preview.redd.it/kapojf3yu7ra1.png?width=961&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab63ce594d9da4a1b04b544dda57911bf2091284

I am making a college decision r,n as an international and have a scholarship which makes the cost 22 thousand dollars less. Mostly wanted to go to Cincinnati for the co-op program. Was wondering if the VT Co-op program could give me a similar advantage. This wouldn't really be a hard decision considering the scholarship but I like a lot of stuff about tech like the engineering extracurriculars and brand name as compared to Cincinnati.
Bonus question, how does the VT Alumni network compare to Places like UW Madison and Texas A&M? (other places I have offers from costing the same/ slightly more)

For background, I’m (22f) away at college and my dad and sister are currently the ones home. So recently my mom (54) has been making these whole accusations and acting like we are out to get her or colluding behind her back. She’s become paranoid. Accusing my dad of hiding money, accusing him of hacking her phone, she’s convinced my sister snuck someone in through her bedroom window in the middle of the night, asking my dad where he works and what he actually does for work, forgetting a lot of things she didn’t used to forget (she’s always been a bit forgetful).
This is never something that has happened before. My dad isn’t hiding anything, she has no reason to think he is hiding money or lying about his job (he’s done the same thing for 30 years and she’s met people at his work and been to his work). Think of the perfect family dynamic and that is our family. She’s never had a history of mental health disorders either. She just hasn’t been herself for the past month I think. All of these accusations have happened over the past week.
Since I’m at school I don’t know the extent of things and I’m only hearing what goes on from my dad and sister. But we have absolutely no idea what is going on and we know she needs to see a doctor but how do we get her to go? Does anyone have any idea what this could be? Has anyone dealt with this before and what was the outcome?

So I just finished Ultimate Spider-Man and wow was it amazing. I loved the series so much and the ending was so emotional. When I started the series I already knew how it was going to end because someone had already told me but reading it was something else. I also was not ready for that ultimatum arc. Wow it was truly just great. This was the first comic book series I’ve ever read. Does anyone know of another comic book series that is on par with ultimate Spider-Man’s story that you’d recommend? My favorite Marvel character is Spider-Man but I don’t mind reading about any particular character as long as it’s good. Please include the writer if possible as it’ll make it easier to find

Code: https://pastebin.com/Zf9es672
Dry run:
In pass by reference:
x=20
y=30
change(x,y) gets x=20,y=30
Assume &x=2000H, &y=3000H
void change(int &a, int &b)
&a=x=20
&b=y=30
This doesn't make any sense. So please explain how to understand this?

I (24F) know ghosting is bad and I could've said "we're over" or "let's break up" but I am so over the relationship . He cheated, found multiple chats on his phone talking/booking hookers (though he denied and said they were not for him), would flirt with other women when he's out drinking with his friends and constantly lie to me. I don't even know why I made it last to 3 yrs. I guess a part of me was still so attached to the person he used to be when we were starting. I tried to ask him a lot of times to talk things over and save the relationship but whenever I get a chance to tell him how he made me feel, he would laugh at me while I cry.
I don't deserve that disrespect and will no longer tolerate that. I would rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel lonely. I can't imagine how a person can change in a matter of time. He used to be the sweetest until we hit the 3rd year. That's when all his dirts came out. Everything was a lie and I'm left heartbroken. He ruined my self-esteem and made me overly anxious.
That is why I ghosted and blocked him on everything. I just want to disappear in his life and vice versa. He knew what he did and I don't need to explain that to him. Even if I have said something, it's not like he would care.
It's been a week now since NC. Been making myself busy with work, working out and reading books. Sometimes, I remember all the bad things he did and our good memories and would breakdown. If he ever asks for an explanation, I probably will talk to him but not in the next 6 months or anytime sooner..maybe never. He just hurt and disrespected me so bad.

I'm just rambling and getting everything off my chest because I'm anonymous here and won't be judged.
TLDR: my life is a mess.
I don't know where, when, or how things went wrong. I was always a bright student academically, consistently ranking in the top 4. When I was a kid, I used to say I would become a scientist in the future. I used to build fans, cars, and boats using motor pieces and batteries, and I used to love it.The innocence, the passion. Moreover, I used to live my life.
After completing my SEE with a 3.6 GPA, life was still good. However, when I joined the science faculty in +2, the transition from class 10 to class 11 was too much for me initially. During class 11, I discovered programming for the first time. Although I had heard about it before, I was never interested in it. After googling about programming, I became fascinated with the idea that it could be used to build apps. However, while I was doing well in my class 11 terminal exams, I started focusing less on my studies after being introduced to programming. As a result, I scored terribly on the final exam of class 11, with a GPA of 2.96, which was the lowest I had ever scored in my life.
My mindset regarding studying began to change. I started thinking that if I wanted to become a programmer in the future, I would likely be coding apps. So, what was the purpose of studying physics, chemistry, and mathematics? As a result, I stopped giving my studies much attention
In class 12, I started building apps and found it enjoyable. Although I didn't understand what I was doing or why things were working, I knew how to write the code to create basic apps. I even build a app and published it in google play store.
However, towards the end of my class 12 , the COVID-19 pandemic hit. During the pandemic, I didn't do anything productive I used to play PUBG with my friends, but surprisingly, I scored well on the finals and achieved a GPA of 3.43. This was due to the fact that the exams were held in own college and most probably papers were also checked in own college.
For my bachelor's degree, I had originally planned to study abroad, but due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I had to cancel those plans and decided to study in Nepal instead. I enrolled in a UK-based 3-year bachelor's degree program, which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. I had a relative who was teaching at the university and he convinced me to enroll there. Unfortunately, I didn't do any research on the university or the program, which was a major mistake on my part.
At the time, I knew very little about computer science. And the problem with people who know little is that they think they know everything. I did the same. I believed that courses like CSIT were useless because they focused too much on theory and core computer science concepts that I thought I would never need in my future as a programmer. I could not me more wrong than this in my entire life. Now, when I see course structure of CSIT it seems very good. But grass is always greener on the other side.
My so-called three-year bachelor's degree is going to be completed in two years and three months, and I will be graduating in a couple of months. However, during these two years, I feel like I have hardly made any progress in both my technical and soft skills. When I started my bachelor's, I had a friend circle who knew nothing about computer science, and I was the only one with some knowledge. This made me feel overconfident, thinking that I knew everything and that I should be able to answer any question about CS. As a result, I started jumping from one technology to another without truly understanding them, just to impress people with my knowledge. I never lived my life during these years.
My friends who started very late are way ahead of me right now. And I am still sitting there in the same place in all these years. And this makes me feel very bad. I constantly find myself comparing myself with my friends who started very late than me and often think when and how everything went wrong in my life. As I will be graduating in couple of months I have no idea what I will do after graduation. I don't want to be a meme about unemployment that I used to laugh at many years ago.
I am planning to join masters in USA but the self doubt is not going anywhere. I feel I am not worth deserving anything in life and I won't get accepted in USA with good scholarship. My head feels heavy these days like it is blocked and I can't think out of my mind, it feels like something very heavy is inside my head and that is not letting my mind think properly. I often have emotional breakdown these days and when ever I see something that reminds me of my childhood I am often lost there and want to go back to my beautiful childhood where I was happy and didn't care about anything and anyone.
I used to live a life but now I just exist.

Anybody here has a beginner meme page? I am trying to increase my followers but I am not gaining much traction. Few of the memes have gone big, amassed a lot of likes, saves and shares but still I don’t gain much followers. How did you grow your meme page or are growing your meme page. I am doing this as a hobby as I really like making and sharing memes.

Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are the problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:

1. I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
   
2. I am completely self-interested.
   
3. I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
   
4. I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me.
   
5. I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
   
6. I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
   

I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example, here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary, my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand, post visible here. The song in the background of that post, "Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/
This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/
But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?

For the past two years I’ve only had a few friends. Although it was only five people in my friend group we had great dynamics to each other that just worked. We originally made the friend group because we didn’t feel welcomed to other groups. We got along and understood each others dark humour. I loved hanging out with everyone because I could just be myself with no filter and no one got mad at me for doing something I can’t necessarily help doing. I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was in grade 3 and it effects how I interact with people and how I hold conversations. I thought this would be a serious problem with making friends but I’m glad these people have come into my life and making me feel welcomed. We luckily all managed to get into the same school and it was smooth sailing from there. One of my friends had a friend from another school come to ours so we welcomed them. I also had a friend from another school come so we let them join too.Coincidentally, a girl we used to be friends with came back to the school so we had no reason to refuse her to join us. Now there were 8 of us but there was a girl who wasn’t well liked by our peers so we took her in too. Great, there’s 9 of us now but more the merrier. Right? Not necessarily. The group was so big now that it was hard to hold conversations so the group usually split into two during the course of the day. The only people I share the same schedule with is my friend who had their friend join our group from another school so they usually walked to class together, leaving me behind. I felt lost in conversations because there was too much happening and whenever I tried to join the talk I kept on getting shut down. The girl who joined us because she wasn’t well liked by her peers made it really hard for me because she was always somehow in a crappy mood and she would hit or pull my hair when I did something she didn’t like. I thought at least ONE of my other friends would speak up but they all just laugh it off.One of my friends from my original friend group did reach out to me about how the big friend group worried her because it ruined the dynamics and made it hard to talk to each other. I was relieved someone had the same thoughts as me so we started spending more time together after school to have conversations where we weren’t ignored. My friend from my old school didn’t like this and started hating the girl I talked to for no reason. She was snarky to her and always talked over her in group conversations more than usual. I tried talking to her but that talk made me realise how much she changed. I could tell from just a few exchanges of sentences how self centred and spoiled she was. She always compared her problems to others and would start drama for no reason. She acted like she was the victim but in reality she just made talking to everyone unbearable. She hit, kicked and stepped on everyone’s shoes as a “joke” and then proceeded to say that because of her 20 mental illness she acts like that. I want to drop all of these extra people and just have the original friend group of five people but I can’t. It’s selfish, I know but I just don’t know what to do anymore.