Craigslist missed connections bellingham

For crossed paths that hope to cross once again

2013.05.31 19:15 TomPalmer1979 For crossed paths that hope to cross once again

An Orlando Reddit version of Craigslist's "Missed Connections" page.

2021.04.16 01:19 kaylore Missed Connections: Greater New Orleans edition


2012.01.03 08:11 DecidingToBeBetter RBI: Reddit Bureau of Investigation

Using the power of the internet to solve real-world problems.

2023.06.09 16:57 thats_fuckin_dope My partner is going on his first date today! (As a poly man)

Not an important post but I wanted to share this moment with someone. Also, I’m always here to learn, so if I said something wrong or used the wrong terminology, let me know!!!
We opened up our marriage about 9 months ago, and quickly found out that he is demisexual. So we back tracked, and did even more research! (And more work) We found poly to be more fitting in terms of what we want compared to ENM.
Well he texted me today that he got asked out on a date! I’ve been preparing myself for this for a while as I have pretty bad anxiety (in general, not this specifically). And to my surprise, I got a really excited feeling! I feel really good about him going out and being able to connect with someone else and have fun, and I can already imagine his goofy smile. And remembering how nervous he was when he first started dating me. I also feel a little nervous for him, or maybe for myself.
So I am going to focus on taking care of myself today, a little self care and self love just incase this feeling goes away. I already made some plans with some friends and currently cuddling all of my cats.
Any tips I’ve missed for when your partner goes on their first date?
submitted by thats_fuckin_dope to polyamory [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:57 Billy_Bob_Wright8502 Best practices for configuring iSCSI on Synology NAS?

Let's see if there are any major gaps —missing pieces— in my understanding of how iSCSI should be configured on Synology NASes. I had to remove my previous thread due to my confusion about various iSCSI terms. I apologize for any confusion on my part! However, after familiarizing myself with some basic principles, I can't help but be disappointed by the lack of detailed and appropriate guidance on correctly implementing iSCSI on Synology NASes when multiple Windows PCs need to be connected to the LUNs. [RANT]It is extremely frustrating that a significant number of users share the same inquiries as me, nonetheless, in spite of posting them on message boards such as Synology Community, the answers provided are either unresponsive or irrelevant. I don't hold you accountable for this situation though. It's possible that only a small number of people use iSCSI, and even seasoned sysadmins may not be well-versed in its use.[/RANT]
To my knowledge, the issue of data corruption and inconsistency due to multiple Windows PCs accessing the same iSCSI LUN can be resolved by creating multiple LUNs and ensuring that only one PC is connected to a given LUN at any given time. Based on my understanding, it may be optimal to place the LUNs in separate Storage Pools or Volumes. Do you agree with me on these points, or do you think I'm wrong again?
I'm not sure if you can answer this question because it may be subjective, but here goes nothing. Would the setup demonstrated below make any sense?
-A Synology NAS with 16 HDDs, each of which is 12 TB in capacity, resulting in a total of 192 TB of storage. -Three Storage Pools, each consisting of a Volume, resulting in a total of three Volumes. *Storage Pool 1 comprises of four disks and is protected by RAID 10. It is intended to address the storage needs of Synology VMs and other Synology components, along with a couple of SMB shares. *Storage Pool 2 is comprised of six disks and is set up in a RAID 10 configuration. It contains LUN 1. *Storage Pool 3, which holds LUN 2, includes six disks, and is configured with RAID 10. -Two desktop computers running Windows, where Windows PC 1 will be connected to LUN 1, and Windows PC 2 will be connected to LUN 2.
Further points: -My original intention was to allocate 7 disks each to Storage Pool 1 and 2, making it a total of 14 disks, but RAID 10 cannot work with an odd number of disks. -My network equipment, including NICs, modems, routers, and switches, is of reasonably high quality and supports 10 GbE. -Kindly refrain from asking me what I am trying to achieve. I have a very specific reason for wanting to use iSCSI in this case. -Please don't suggest using SMB/CIFS or NFS.
submitted by Billy_Bob_Wright8502 to synology [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:52 Friendly_Bicycle_426 Tripping after being sober

Been sober from all substances for over a year and a half following pretty severe addiction to opiates and over a decade of daily use of weed. Considering taking shrooms again, just feeling like my life is missing a bit of connection with my inner self and could use the perception that the mush brings. Any body else have similar experience or opinions for or against breaking sobriety? I have clear intentions and plan on staying away from all other substances/alcohol/herb. Would be a small dose (~1g) of cyanescens that have been metaphorically collecting dust in my closet for a long time. Have used lots of psychedelics in past and never had an experience i regret. Have some time while im out solo camping this weekend.
submitted by Friendly_Bicycle_426 to LSD [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:51 pmrasd Hello,

New to the group and PeppermintOS, probably a question already solved, but I couldn't find anything related. I have Peppermint OS installed on a laptop, strickly home use, personal wifi network with my own password. From time to (random) time, I lose the wifi connection for no reason. That would be okay, but PeppermintOS does not reconnect automatically. It keeps asking for the wifi password and simply doesn't reconnect. To reconnect, either I disable wifi for a while, or I restart the laptop. Is this normal or am I missing something? Thank you for any help.
submitted by pmrasd to PeppermintOS [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:49 AdamLikesBeer Weekend Rundown June 9th - 11th

Around Town:





I have had suggestions for a patreon or something of the sort in the past. I do this because I like to provide whatever tiny help I can to the community. BUT I also like to raise money for Gillette's Children Hospital every year. So if you have some virtual loose change you can help me help dem kids here:


Be da real MVP and add anything I missed below.
submitted by AdamLikesBeer to TwinCities [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:48 AdamLikesBeer Weekend Roundup 6/9-11

Around Town:





I have had suggestions for a patreon or something of the sort in the past. I do this because I like to provide whatever tiny help I can to the community. BUT I also like to raise money for Gillette's Children Hospital every year. So if you have some virtual loose change you can help me help dem kids here:


Be da real MVP and add anything I missed below.
submitted by AdamLikesBeer to Minneapolis [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:46 DubaiEsportsFestival Turn your game idea into reality as GameExpo Summit!

Turn your game idea into reality as GameExpo Summit!
Developing a game is a challenging task, but we're here to help you make this dream a reality! At the "GameExpo Summit by PG Connects" you'll have an opportunity like no other to meet industry experts, investors and other game developers who will provide valuable tips and feedback you wouldn't want to miss. 21-22 June 2023 Dubai Exhibition Centre, Expo City Dubai. Book your tickets now on For more information visit link in bio
submitted by DubaiEsportsFestival to dubaiesportsfestival [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:44 Ultraman60 Older art trends/challenges, worth it? Or not worth it?

Hey fellow artists,
I've been grappling with a dilemma lately, and I need your input and advice. You see, I've recently stumbled upon some older art challenges like the Jacko Challenge and the Sailor Moon Challenge. They seem like so much fun, and I can't help but feel a pang of regret for missing out on them when they were at the height of their popularity.
Part of me wants to dive headfirst into these challenges, breathing new life into them with my own unique twist. I want to recreate the excitement and passion that surrounded these challenges, even if it's a bit late. But there's another part of me that worries if it's all just a futile effort. Will anyone care? Will my art be lost in the abyss of the internet, overshadowed by newer and trendier challenges?
I know some might say, "Why bother? Move on and focus on the latest trends." Which i did, I mean i recently drew the Barbie challenge and drew this new spider man character, but a part of me can't help but feel a connection to these older challenges. They hold a certain nostalgia, a reminder of a time when art was all about exploration and personal growth. And deep down, I believe there are still others out there who share that sentiment, who appreciate the beauty and creativity of these past challenges.
I suppose I'm seeking reassurance that it's not too late, that my art will find its place even in a world obsessed with the "next big thing." I want to hear from fellow artists who have taken similar paths, who have dared to resurrect older challenges and breathe new life into them. How did it go for you? Did you find an audience who appreciated your art despite the passage of time? Or did it feel like shouting into the void?
Please, share your experiences, opinions, and advice. Help me navigate this creative crossroads and decide whether to embark on these older art challenges. Let's have a conversation and embrace the beauty of art, regardless of its age or popularity.
submitted by Ultraman60 to ArtistLounge [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:43 EuleStein Ti vs Ni - equally effective?

Since Ti searches for logical consistency in the flow of premises and Ni simply intuits the conclusion based on patterns (?), is Ti always going to outdo Ni in terms of thorough understanding/ solving ANY problem, and Ni always going to be faster than Ti to arrive at conclusions ,i.e. faster problem solving?
I see a struggle in me when I'm doing math. On one hand I have to prepare for an exam, so I try to find an intuitive connection to explain math theorems (hardcore mathematicians, don't be mad, I won't teach that 'incoherent' shit) so as to simplify my notes, but I have a logical conscience so to speak, that 'forces' me to complicate my notes to address leaps in logic (Ti:"You're gonna miss all the beautiful logic" and Ni-Te:"But I gotta master this fast!"). Listening to it makes my notes look frightening. Does this mean I have a high Ti as well?
submitted by EuleStein to intj [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:38 101100110110101 Autism and S brake (Si PoLR); leading E (Fe program) and obsession

So, I interpret the following things all as S brake, or Si PoLR. Still, I somehow think I could write as much about my personal experience with F brake, or Se PoLR. Framing it in Socionics jargon, it feels like my cognition abandoned Sensation in general, inflating Intuition to the maximum and balancing it out with strong E-L (FeTi), neglecting P-R (TeFi).
Before you think that I think this was something cool, like Intuition from MBTI or even ""16p"", lol, I want to emphasize that what this primarily means is that I hate facts and sources with disgust; instead, I need to think up everything in my own images, thoughts, words, metaphors or analogies from the bottom. This may sound like special unicorn energy, but in reality it just is inefficient, hated in academia, and generally gets you nowhere (especially according to Gamma values, lol). Everything has to be my idea, truly living inside of me; otherwise it's worthless external bs I ignore as a whole. Researching for my bachelor's thesis soon will mean horror for me, as you might imagine now.
My life is one big concatenation of random special interests on which my obsessive tunnel-vision focuses. (Typology is one of them.) My parents told me this behavior was already present at an early age with all kinds of weird eruptions. Only now, for about the last 5 years, this paradigm shows its downsides.
Currently, one phase can take up to 5-6 weeks, in which I sleep around 4 hours per night, dreaming of nothing but the current thing, and doing nothing else whenever possible while awake. It comes close to mania. In such phases I dissolve in my interests, neglecting everything from hygiene, sleep, food and social contact. However, from the outside I may seem functional: I don't miss work and keep a collected appearance; but everything which has no immediate negative consequences gets reduced to the bare minimum.
When focusing on sensations in a lighthearted way, I realize my general sensitivity:
I (unconsciously) am continuously fleeing from sensation in life by keeping a mentally over-active, even draining state. I always had a very good focus, making it possible to point all of my attention on one thing for a long period of time. This makes me forget my body about 95% of my life. Problems arise in these remaining 5%, leaving me with all kinds of hypochondriac phenomena, weird body sensations, excessive fears of dying and generally an over-reaction to the smallest signal from inside.
I don't like going to the doctor because I fear I will become a person who will run there every other day due to some worries that all turned out to be nothing serious anyway. However, the last time I was there I had to go as I felt pressure on my chest still days after a severe panic attack (, that I did not recognize as a panic attack back then). My doctor asked me if I ever thought about autism and my mind immediately was like: You wot mate? Don't you realize my Fe is strong af?!
However, I see now that me being somewhere on the spectrum is at least likely, and I'm just very experienced at what psychology calls "masking". After telling my parents, they researched autism themselves and now they regret that they didn't knew about it and how it generally plays out back when I was younger. They are both sure I "have it", while I myself am not fully convinced.
Seeing how large parts of the community portrait E (or Fe) sometimes is irritating from my perspective. I'm not that much of a people person. I can be - all my life I half-consciously worked on a system what makes people tick; something I like to envision as a mental mosaic of the general person in which every shard represents a single experience of mine, all connecting to one picture - but it's very exhausting for me. People tend to like me while naturally I'm more edgy in the not so cool way. I'm sure this community wouldn't type me as EIE if you knew me in real life, but after learning so much about myself with the help of typological framing, I don't care anymore about the label. (As the seriousness of my flair[s] suggests.) <:-)
submitted by 101100110110101 to Socionics [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:36 BelgianWaffleCorp lossing connection with kali machine

hi tryhackme
I've bin using tryhackme for over a half year now without any problems so far.
I've used a macbook and a laptop with unbuntu to learn on tryhackme. always in brave browser with a nord vpn.
On my desktop pc i can't seem to hold the connection with the kali machine or attackbox.
It needs to reconnect every 2 seconds. also with brave browser and the same vpn. the only difference is that the desktop is connected with ethernet kabel instead of wifi.
Anyone that knows what I'm missing or doing wrong here?
Thanks in advance
( excuse me for the possible flaws in english )
submitted by BelgianWaffleCorp to tryhackme [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:35 Responsible_Fox_5612 [ToTK] The sad, yet inspiring Story of Aster from Hateno Village.

So I was going around Hateno Village giving mushrooms to a bunch of people. I was a little bit lost, so I started going around, entering every house and talking to everyone. One night I discovered a colorful house on the outskirts of the village, populated by just a little girl, Aster, who was sleeping. I got a little bit sad, cause it was fairly cute, she was sleeping, dreaming of froggies, but she was all alone. On the next day I decided to go around town again and spotted the girl leaving school on her way for some snacks.
She was basically going to her father Medda, a farmer taking care of a tomato farm behind the main street. I was glad, she wasn't alone, cause I feared the worst, but decided for some reason to follow her through her day.
After some time she left her father and went for her house....
... or at least that's what I and SHE thought. She went to the house in front of the tomato farm and talked how this was her former house and she gets confused and goes back there by default. It seems she doesn't live there anymore for some reason. After that she went back to her real home to play with some frogs.
After talking to her during her frog "hunt", she says, she learnt hunting frogs from Zelda. She along the other children of the village misses Zelda a lot and seems to have formed a bond with her. Now that got me thinking again about the mother of the poor girl. It does seems like Zelda plays a mother role in her life (I am not implying Zelda is her mother) and she has developed this connection. I went digging into the wiki and it seemed as in BoTW, while sleeping, Aster will talk about her mother. In this game however...
... she talks about froggies in her sleep. It feels like her mother figure was found in Zelda. After some time outside in the evening, she goes inside and falls asleep. After a few more hours, her father arrives tired and just stands there watching her, while she is asleep. This was definitely sad to see, as when you ask him, he says this is the only time he can spend with her daughter. Medda doesn't seem to talk about his wife and as she has been missing for both games now, I would assume the worst happened... :(
The drawings of her father and her near her bed, don't make it easier. I would guess, something bad happened to her mother and the two are now living alone, getting help from maybe Zelda and the other townfolk.
However ending it on a hopeful note, the girl wakes up early and sprints to school screaming "Gotta get there first!". She overtakes the old folk, including her father and indeed arrives at school earlier then all the other kids. :)
I can't believe I actually got emotional, about a random NPC in a random village, that has 0 IMPACT on the game whatsoever (or at least for now). It felt so lifelike and sad for some reason, yet her inspiring sprint to school and her determination seem to give me a lot of hope for some reason. I don't know what happens with the school quest for now, so I couldn't say, if there is more concerning her mother or no. Now I do have a small theory, about the other house neighbouring theirs, which seems to be abanndoned. Could it be, that the owner of the house was Zelda herself?
Thanks for reading!
TLDR; a random small girl in Hateno village has more character, then some major protagonists from AAA games.
submitted by Responsible_Fox_5612 to zelda [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:33 hy2018 State of Kenya Airways

Has any of you flown Kenya Airways (or any of their Partners) recently. I'm Stuck at an Airport for 10hrs due to a delay they caused, hence missing All connecting flights, I know someone who lost luggage while flying with them only 2 weeks ago and remember a time where a 12hr flight kept me in an Airport from Friday to almost Monday, again due to a flight delay.
I Wonder how they stay in Business - they are just so negligent.
I just wonder why they cannot improve or do The basics right. If you compare them to Rwandair or Ethiopian Airlines, it is sad. KQ has been in the Business for so long - do they Just not care about quality? Why does our government not feel shamed into taking action?
submitted by hy2018 to Kenya [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:31 wearTheDamnMask_137 Refurbished Thinkpad for a primarily Mac user

I need a Windows computer for certain apps -- not gaming. My primary computer is a Macbook. For various reasons, I would prefer to buy a refurbished Windows laptop rather than running Windows in simulation mode on a Mac, which I've done in the past.
  1. The 2020 Thinkpad X280, with a 12" screen, an i7 processor, and Windows 10 installed, seems like a great deal at around $300. I particularly like that it is very light (2.4 lbs). I prefer a larger screen, but most of the time when I'm using it, I will have it connected to my monitor, so I'd rather compromise on the side of portability for those rare times I'll be carrying it. Is there anything I'm missing? This seems like a very good option.
  2. Is Backmarket a good place to purchase from? Other possibilities are eBay, Best Buy or Amazon, but Backmarket offers a good warranty, has a great return policy, and guarantees a certain battery health.
submitted by wearTheDamnMask_137 to thinkpad [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:28 SinkMysterious2549 OMSCS list of Local Chapters

Hi guys! I would like to promote the list of 20+ official local chapters by city that we have with Ana Rusch, our beloved Associate Director of Student Life.
Existing students>>>> If you already have a gatech login, please login to the url below to check whether your city has a chapter. If there is, simply go into workspace and get connected to your city chapter folks. Else if you can’t find the channel of your city you are in, please email the chapterhead.
If you do not find your city then please consider forming one even unofficially to find fellow mates in the same city. You only take a Computer Science Masters once in your lifetime so let’s make this masters the most valuable one for you! Simply DM me and I will work with you with Ana to see how best we can find other folks who are living in your city to be connected to one another.
If you are from omsa or omscyber, I believe all the groups will welcome you for their meetups too!
Alumni>>>> If you find that you are unable to login the link below nor, please DM me and I will get you connected to Ana to get your login reactivated for our student life workspace. In OMSCS, once a student, you are our lifetime OMSCS member! Ana is looking at coming up with more activities for both students and alumni and we really hope not to miss anyone!
Incoming students>>>> If you haven’t get your login yet, you can try to search for your local chapters in the comments below which I would invite individual groups to post their links afterwards. Else just wait a while more for your official login ya?
Potential students>>>> If you are curious about the students and alumni network that we have and choosing the program which has better community matters to you, be assured that our community is definitely very strong and we are continuously looking at how to better build our oms family! You won’t be studying alone and you will get to know lifelong friends who will be doing the course with you!
submitted by SinkMysterious2549 to OMSCS [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:21 Cobrexu Generative Fill is greyed out if PS Beta is blocked in firewall, what am I missing?

I spent 6 hours today trying to make it work... i know, i know.
The "Generative Fill" box is greyed out so I can't click on it. The only way I can click on it is if photoshop.exe is NOT blocked in firewall, but then it gives me the "... could not be used due to connection errors".
I read everything that i could find about the greyed out button, and the main solution was to make sure my Date of Birth is right. I tried with an account that is connected to gmail (the birth date was 18+ and public), then i tried with a facebook account (birth date 18+ and public), then i made a completly new account where I filled in my birth date. Nope, nothing works.
I've read the guide atleast 10 times. There must be something I'm missing...
I really appreciate it, thanks!
submitted by Cobrexu to GenP [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:12 Michael_AN_Creech The Chronicles of Marcus Hellyrr - Prologue

I'd like to start by letting everyone know that the genre is Fantasy Epic, and that this is a long prologue at 6,414 words. This prologue serves a purpose as it takes care of a lot of my setting and plot setup. It also gives the reader a fair bit of worldbuilding without making it too much of an info dump (talking to you Robert Jordan ;P).
I've had several people beta read this for me and gotten a lot of positive feedback. The prolbem for me is that these were all people I know very well on a personal level. Several have made comparisons to Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings as far as how well the full book is written. The problem is, friends and family can often have a bias and make things seem better than they really are. So, now I want to do a test run in the real world and see what people who don't know me think. Is it as engaging and compelling as they have made me hope that it is?
I'm basically wanting to take a page from a couple authors I admire and follow the ABC rule for critiquing. Please let me know of any point where you thought it was Awesome, Boring or Confusing. I know prologues aren't everyone's favorite thing, but this has basically been written like a novella for the main story as it foreshadows a lot of things leading all the way into book four.
October 14, 844 (Alt-Future)
"Welcome back to the Archive, Master Jonathan."
"Thank you, Charles. It's good to be back. Have you noticed anything interesting in the Physical Realm?"
"I have not, sir. Do you require any assistance today?"
"Thank you, but no. I'm only here to revisit a passage within the history of the Order. Shortly after, I'll depart for the reunion at the Tower."
"Excellent, sir. I'll leave you to it."
Jonathan emerged from the ether and walked through the Archive doors. Inhaling deeply, he breathed in the familiar scents of dusty cleanliness that can only truly be found in a place of learning. The lights reflected off the floor's white marble surface, casting a glow that evenly lit every corner of the large chamber. Even so, the room still felt cavernous to him, as if he were a galleon amidst the vastness of the ocean.
Jonathan appeared to be in his early to mid forties. Though, with the way he carried himself and the spring in his step, he seemed closer to his late twenties. His hair was shoulder length and dark gray. He wore bifocals though he hadn't needed them since his ascension, and dressed with a refined sense of style.
His gray eyes were by far his most interesting feature, though. They were the only hint of how old he truly was and the many adventures and travesties he'd witnessed. Regardless, how old he was didn't matter as age had long since lost its meaning for him. After all, being an immortal tended to give a man new priorities in life.
As he strolled across the room, a lift descended from the tower's heights. The square platform had waist high rails around its perimeter. It floated through the air showing no sign of a suspension system to raise or lower it. This was accomplished by a magical enchantment that allowed it to levitate and dart about the room at mind numbing speeds. As he stepped up onto the platform's dais, it landed on the floor in front of him. He took a position at its center, then, after folding his arms behind his back, mentally willed it to take him to floor eight hundred forty four.
It rose off the ground, gradually gaining speed until it was a hundred or so feet in the air. At that point, the platform took off like a rocket. The thought of what these speeds would do to him if this were outside the Realm of Intellect crossed his mind, making him chuckle nervously. He knew he had to be moving close to six hundred miles per hour.
Now, let me tell you a bit about Jonathan's pet project, The Archive Infinitum. The Archive is a magical structure he'd designed shortly after the cataclysm that nearly wiped out the human race. An event most of you now refer to as the Night of Burning Skies. That same event is also what gave us the powers we now refer to as magic.
Shortly after obtaining his ascension, he learned that science's multiverse theories were close to how reality really worked. There are an infinite number of parallel universes, or branching timelines, that coexist simultaneously. What was different is that each universe shared a common six realm structure. The Physical Realm, the Realm of Intellect, the Dominion of Shadows, the Plane of Enlightenment, the Land of the Forgotten, and the Ether.
He built the Archive within the Realm of Intellect so it wouldn't be bound by the laws of physics or time as we know them. Once the structure was anchored in place, he could set most of those parameters himself. What he didn't realize was that making it here would have an unintended, though not unwelcome, side effect. The structure's size, shape, and architectural style could change by anyone who entered it.
When someone enters the Archive, it ascertains their strength of mind and will. Suppose the individual's mental fortitude is deemed stronger than that of the other occupants. In that case, the appearance will adjust to one that best serves and appeals to that individual. This could become unsettling for the occupants already inside the first few times it happened. That being said, it has no effect on the contents atop the shelves or where you're located within the structure. For Jonathan, it shared an uncanny resemblance to the George Peabody Library, though on a much grander scale.
The lift stopped after a brief ride, and Jonathan stepped off. He resumed his stride, passing row after row of the cherry wood bookcases. There were hundreds of rows and thousands of tomes and scrolls in each. As a scholar, he'd spent most of his existence here. But, even so, he knew there would always be something more to be gleaned from their pages.
Today was a day of remembrance. Of celebration. Of mourning. It was the anniversary of the end of a war that had lasted ten thousand years. With the death of one individual, a light of hope was given to many. For others, it was a bittersweet victory that left a void in their hearts. He'd come here today to revisit a passage that would return him to that fateful day. Reliving the event which granted them this peace, and once again, paying his respects to a dear friend.
"Ah, yes, yes, yes. Here we go."
The plaque on the side of the bookcase read, Row DD, Column 15. Now that he'd found the right one, he began scanning the shelves. It wasn't long before his hand landed on the tome he sought.
"Here it is." He pulled it down from the shelf. "My word. Has it truly been fifteen hundred years since I glanced through these pages?"
Looking at the cover, he chuckled. The combined magic of the Archive and the Realm had created a thin layer of dust. Giving it the feeling of something ancient and lost to time. Raising it to his lips, he blew the dust away, causing the magic to dissipate as it fell to the floor. He pulled open the cover and rifled through the pages. The section he stopped at contained the account of Rexinon the Prophet's final words.
Summoning his divine magics, he channeled a spell into the tome. The words that once filled the passages began to fade away, leaving only the blank pages, which now bled a blueish gray smoke. The soft glow of the lights against the floor diminished as the smoke spread. As the darkness grew more substantial, luminescent spheres and arcs of brilliant blues and crimson could be seen dancing about its surface like lightning.
The ground trembled beneath his feet, and the smokey haze took on a more stormlike appearance. All around him, the air started to feel heavy, and the taste of dust and sea salt filled his mouth. A gentle rain began to fall, and the room's remaining lights winked out. If not for the increasing flashes of lightning, he would've been left in total darkness. But even this was not a comfort, as those flashes cast shadows against the storm's ever swirling walls. Many of which appeared to be dark things that should never be seen in the light.
The storm's intensity grew, bringing disorienting cracks of thunder and wind whipping around him. It assaulted his senses and seemed to have an almost vengeful purpose. That meant he had to constantly focus on the spell, bracing himself against the onslaught. If he failed, it would kill him without question.
Some of the shadows began to take on a physical form with details beyond what the walls could offer them. He watched as an hourglass tumbled end over end, circling him before it returned to the storm. A moment later, a blazing fireplace and mantle emerged but produced neither light nor heat. Finally, a door engraved with the crest of the Order appeared. These images were ones he'd expected to see for this particular passage, and so came as no surprise. However, when a fourth image appeared, he was caught off guard.
Although it was normal for three images to accompany this spell, an occasional fourth spoke of prophecy. He focused intently on this final image. It showed twelve people standing in a circle; one of them was coated in blood. Two others were bound by chains. One a man, the other a woman.
He looked closer at the man and realized it was Godric. His eyes opened wide as he tried to decipher the meaning behind the image. Only a few moments passed while he speculated, but it was a few moments too many. Disaster struck, and too late, he realized his mistake. He'd lost focus, and now the storm would surely take him.
Hurricane force winds and debris tore at his clothes, quickly turning them into rags. One powerful gust slammed into his side as if he'd been struck by a car, knocking him off his feet. The storm swelled with even greater ferocity. It threatened to consume him this time, and he wondered if it would finally cost him.
Rain and hail pelted his face and body, while dust and sand stung his eyes. As he wiped away the grit, a bolt of lightning struck before him, temporarily blinding him. He got to his hands and knees, gasping for breath as the storm continued to beat him relentlessly.
Steeling himself against the pain, he rose to his feet. As fast as he could manage, he began casting mental defenses and barriers to protect his mind from the horrific assault. He bellowed in defiance of the storm, "I will not let it end this way! I refuse!" One defense after another was laid upon his person, until finally, he succeeded. The winds died to a breeze as the rain became little more than a summer misting.
He heard the sound of a quill scratching against paper over the storm's remnants, and the air behind his back grew hot as a crackling fire joined the room's ambiance. The sickly sweet smell of incense filled his nostrils, reminding him of days spent in his master's study. Another fond memory.
The storm wall vanished as the tremors subsided, making the room visible through a misty haze. The light of the fireplace cast his shadow across the now rough cut gray stone floor. Half a dozen tapestries hung around the room, and a liquor cabinet stood at the room's far corner. The main entry door remained closed to his left, and the doorway to the study's balcony lay to his right. At the room's center sat Rexinon at his desk, writing furiously on a piece of parchment.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, he breathed a sigh of relief. Although he'd done this countless times, the journey into the pages of history was always filled with peril. But, blessedly, the most intense part of the spell was complete. And while he could now relax in that fact, that fourth image still concerned him.
He stood in the familiar square room, clothing restored to its original state. The evening's air flowed through the open windows, making the ambient temperature quite cozy. Crossing the room, he paused at the desk and listened as Rexinon started muttering. "What I wouldn't give for a typewriter, much less a computer. Would make this so much faster."
Jonathan couldn't help but crack a smile. "Oh, but how many times have I thought the same thing, old friend?" He remarked, though he knew Rexinon couldn't hear him.
He stepped up to the desk and leaned over it. Looking down at the paper Rexinon was writing on, he frowned. Like so many times before, it appeared as little more than black scribbles on a page. Those words had to be important, but there was no way to know.
This was one of the spell's critical weaknesses. The details within the vision were only as precise as what was written in the tome. Most of the books in the Archive were magically transcribed. The benefits of this were completed histories free of victor and writer biases. Although, it wasn't flawless.
Throughout history, there have been individuals or events that the spell couldn't see. The most well known examples of these blips in time were the United States presidency of Franklin D. Roosevelt from 1933 to 1945 and the United Kingdom's Prime Minister, Michael Durham, from 2063 to 2065. All that is known about them was their lives before office and the accounts written by those around them. These gaps in history were generally the result of one of two things. In these two cases, a place or individual with a strong connection to the Dominion of Shadows.
Sighing, he pushed off the desk and crossed the room to the liquor cabinet. He opened the glass doors, pulling several bottles and a glass from the shelves. He made a drink consisting of three parts Red Adders Bite and one part Dry Amorian Blood Wine, then added a lime wedge to the rim of the glass. The others wouldn't arrive for another half hour, leaving him time to kill.
He walked around the room with his drink in hand and studied the various tapestries, several of which he'd been a part of. Each one depicted an accomplishment or tragedy facilitated by the Order. All save one, which showed a scene from the event that started it all.
The one to the left of the cabinet showed the Order's founding. In the background stood a grand tower of black and white marble. Its four sides were engraved with the Mark of Hellyrr, which glowed with a magical light. In front of it stood a man facing a gathered crowd, his arms swept wide in triumph. They looked up at him and the structure with reverence and awe.
He continued to move in a counterclockwise manner around the room. Above the main entry door hung another tapestry. One he was even depicted in. It showed the aftermath of a massacre. Six figures stood amidst the bodies of hundreds. The earth around them was scorched by flame, and the blood of the fallen had stained it red. The cloud covered sky glowed a deep crimson with gold outlines from the fires below. It had come to be known as the Cleansing of Elysian, in which the entirety of the planet's second continent had been annihilated to preserve the world.
"I wish it had never come to this. Why can't we all just get along? Instead of thriving in the prosperity of our two lands, they plotted and began planning to bring war to our own people. To rape, pillage, and enslave them. Even with all my vast knowledge and wisdom, I can't understand why they felt the need to dominate and control the world." He looked back up at the tapestry. "Even now, most of the land is still uninhabitable."
He turned around and looked at the tapestry above the balcony door. This one would appear out of place with the others to all but a few handfuls of people. Even for those who learned the truth behind it, it looked like little more than an artist's vision of what a beautiful landscape at sunset should look like. The sky is dotted with hundreds of stars as shades of red, orange, and yellow dance across the land's horizon. The artist's point of view appears to be looking down from a hillside. Down the hill's slope, you can see a pond teaming with wildlife along its edge. The remaining landscape is filled with miles of forest stretching toward the horizon.
For the few who survived this event and still remained, they knew it depicted the final moments of their world before all of humanity was nearly lost.
Jonathan fixated on this tapestry more than he had on the others. The longer he stared, the more distant his expression grew. Over time, his breathing quickened, and his grip on the glass slipped. It shattered as it hit the floor, causing the rug to stain from the liquid. The sound jerked him out of the trance like state, making him feel ill.
He could still recall the memory of that long ago day like it were yesterday. The thought of how close humanity had come to extinction made his legs weak, and he stumbled back against the wall behind him. He slid down the stones' cool surface and noticed his hands were now trembling. Through shuddering breaths, he uttered the words of a broken man. "So much death. So many lives were lost that day. So many. Oh, Sonia. Even after all this time, I still miss you."
The main entry door slammed open, crashing against the wall with a loud bang. Jonathan jerked as one of them collided mere inches from where he sat. The startling sound had been enough to pull him from his stupor, but it still took a moment for him to gather himself. A man in the doorway lowered his foot from where he'd obviously kicked the unlocked door in.
"Knock, knock, Rex. Seems you've done it now."
"Seth. I'll never understand the animosity you held for Rexinon," Jonathan said wearily as he got to his feet.
Seth stood just shy of five foot eight inches and had slick black hair that he kept combed back. He wore black jeans and a beige dress shirt with mother of pearl buttons, which had seen far too much polish in recent days. A malevolent grin displayed his perfect teeth and careless eyes. He strode into the room, dragging a chair behind him, and placed it on the rug by the fireplace.
"Was kicking the door in really necessary, Seth?"
A second man stepped into the room, obviously annoyed by the unnecessary use of force. He wore a navy blue business suit and towered over everyone else in the room, and that was saying something considering Jonathan was six foot. As he still held to the standards of a marine, he kept his hair high and tight and his face clean shaven. He stood at the rug's edge out of respect for the Order so as not to mar the embroidered Mark of Hellyrr. A respect Seth clearly lacked.
"Godric Gibbs. This day changed you. Hell, it changed all of us, but few as much as you," Jonathan said. He looked back at the door as the third and final man entered. "Assassin."
This man was of a height with Jonathan and wore all black from head to toe. His outfit looked like something out of a TV show. Almost like a cross between Gi Joe's Snake Eyes, and CW Arrow's League of Assassins. After ten thousand years, all they knew about him was his previous occupation as a contract killer. It wasn't long before they'd taken to calling him Assassin, as they had no other name to go by. Any time he was asked a question regarding his past, he either remained silent or dodged it outright. He took a position to Godric's left and, like Godric, took care of where he stood on the rug.
The three men stood in silence and watched as Rexinon continued to write. Godric and Assassin seemed content to wait until he addressed them. On the other hand, Seth seemed to grow more agitated as the minutes passed. Jonathan chuckled in spite of himself.
About twenty minutes later, Rexinon spoke, "Reverend Seth Jones, Colonel Godric Gibbs, and Assassin. To what do I owe the pleasure?" His tone plainly indicated that he already knew.
Seth spoke first. "Oh, cut the crap, Rex. You already know why we're here. This cult thing of yours has gone on long enough."
"Well, there's the pot calling the kettle black," Jonathan muttered sarcastically.
Godric rolled his eyes. Everyone in the room knew about Seth's past as a cult leader. They also knew his anger was more at being forced to wait in silence than anything to do with Rexinon or the Order.
"Calm yourself, Seth. There's no need for such hostilities." Godric looked at Rexinon apologetically. "I'm sorry to have to do this, old friend, but my hands are tied. Rexinon the Prophet, Headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, you've been charged with conspiracy to overthrow the governments of Aurelia and seize control for the Order.
"As we speak, the leaders of the Hellyrrian Order are being gathered for execution. Furthermore, your towers and all their artifacts will be destroyed, and any remnants of the Order's existence is to be wiped from the face of history. As of 0813 this morning, you have been sentenced to death. How do you plead?"
Rexinon continued to write at an incredible rate. He knew why they'd come. He'd known this was coming for months. After all, his gift was the gift of prophecy. The evidence for the charges against him was both substantial and ethereal, depending on what light was shown on it.
Two centuries ago, the Order had tracked the activities of an unknown number of individuals who'd been subtly manipulating several of the Aurelian governing bodies. They'd spread like a poison, corrupting them and turning once prosperous kingdoms which knew few hardships, into lands where the people had to fight just to survive. The problem was that whoever that force had been, always seemed to be just one step ahead of them. Now, not only was it check, but checkmate. The Order had lost.
"I believe the Righteous Twelve to be ill advised. I believe you've been manipulated by the same corrupted governing body which we've spent so long trying to purify—." Seth grunted. "—But," he said at length, "I accept all charges against me, save one. Neither myself nor anyone else of the Order has ever sought to rule Aurelia, as the charges would imply. The Cleansing of Elysian should've been proof enough to show that to be true."
Rexinon penned the final words of his letter and placed the pen back in its stand. Pulling the top off a jar, he dusted the page with a thin layer of sand to soak up any excess ink. After dumping the sand back into another jar to be cleaned, he pushed away from his desk and stood to look at his guests for the first time. After nudging his stool back under, he addressed Godric directly.
"Will you join me on the balcony one last time?"
Godric nodded his head and gestured towards the balcony doorway. As they stepped outside, Jonathan followed.
Rexinon leaned against the railing and looked out over the city, his gaze fixed on the setting sun. Godric joined him and looked down to the tower's base, some five hundred feet below. Although he was not afraid of heights, it gave him respect for the sturdily mounted railing at the balcony's edge.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rexinon said. Godric looked at him, confused. "The way the world has turned out since that day? Ten thousand years of watching as civilization was rebuilt and destroyed time and time again by a senseless war. Watching them evolve into something more as they learned how to use these gifts we were given. In some ways, we're greater than we ever were. In other ways, we're inferior. If I have any regrets, it's that I couldn't do more to leave the people better prepared for this new age."
"Well spoken. If it's any consolation, I believe this is wrong. I even spoke out against the council for a different outcome. For my efforts, though, I was threatened with execution if I didn't cease my objections."
Rexinon's tone grew heated after hearing of the council's reaction. "You should know better than anyone why I fought so hard against them, then. I'm not against governance. I'm against corrupt governance. We had far too many corrupt politicians and warlords in our own time for me to ever want to allow it again."
Godric nodded his head. "Yes. The problem is you played too heavy a hand too quickly. Instead of accepting that they'd been beaten, they cheated by playing with an ace they had hidden up their collective sleeves."
Rexinon sighed, knowing his words were true. "Indeed. I've accepted my fate. I won't run. Won't even make it difficult for y'all. I have no need to. I would like to make one final request to ease your conscience, though."
Rexinon leaned toward Godric conspiratorially. As he did this, the world around them began to shimmer and distort. Almost like the motion blurring you'd see on a TV. Likewise, their conversation was masked by the sound of white noise and the sound of hushed incoherent whispers.
This was the second hurdle the scrying spells had to deal with. Individuals with divine magic could conceal their conversations or even the events they were a part of. Rexinon had concealed this conversation, and to this day, Godric has never spoken of what was said.
Jonathan returned to the study with a resigned sigh. There was nothing more he could learn from their conversation. Assassin stood in the same spot he'd been when he first entered the room and looked as if he hadn't so much as twitched. Seth, however, was rummaging through the desk's drawers. He'd tried to figure out what he was looking for in the past, but nothing seemed obvious.
The shards of glass from when he'd dropped his cup earlier had vanished, along with the stain on the rug from the liquor. As expected, the glass had returned to the cabinet, and the bottles had refilled to where they were before he'd arrived. This was yet another reminder that this was a magically induced vision of an event that had long since passed. It could be too easy to forget that this wasn't real and that if he spent too much time here, it would have consequences in the real world for him.
He knew they'd be out there a while. In previous visits, he'd occasionally spent this time combing through the room, similar to what Seth was doing. Having cataloged everything centuries ago, there was nothing left to do but wait. So, he walked around the desk and sat squarely within the Mark of Hellyrr embroidered on the rug. There, for the next hour or so, he would remain, arms folded, legs crossed, and eyes shut. Freeing his mind of all unnecessary thoughts and emotions. At least, that was the plan.
About forty minutes in, Seth started to grumble and complain, forcing Jonathan to give up on his meditation. "… I know he's one of the humblest among our kind, but lord, does he have to be so dull? I can't find anything interesting anywhere. Even his liquor cabinet is dull." Seth walked from behind the desk to the liquor cabinet, pulled a few bottles out at random, and read the labels aloud. "Red Adders Bite, Amorian Blood Wine. Christ, he's even got Athester's Sweet Malt. This crap might as well be water." He pulled another bottle down and said, "At least he's got the taste to have at least one bottle of Nordic Berserker."
"Some of us prefer the simpler things in life. You might find life more enjoyable when you aren't always looking for the rare and exotic," Assassin said with a disinterested, almost dismissive tone.
Seth clicked his tongue. "Hell, even this letter he was so focused on when we arrived makes no sense." Seth thrust the letter towards Assassin, who took it nonchalantly. "Look at this."
Jonathan studied Assassin intently, hoping for any sign that would reveal the letter's contents. It was no use, though; for all the emotion he showed, Jonathan would've thought it no more important than a grocery list. But, if that were the case, why obscure it from the eyes of the scrying spell? The frustration caused by such a simple sheet of paper was baffling.
Jonathan got to his feet as Rexinon and Godric returned. As Rexinon walked to stand at the center of the rug, Jonathan moved behind the desk. Godric walked toward Assassin and conversed with him for a few minutes. Once again, the sound of white noise shrouded what was said. This time, it was Godric who masked his words from the spell. When Assassin nodded, Godric moved beside him and faced Rexinon.
Rexinon looked at each tapestry and seemed to relive each as he did so. They all knew those accomplishments and tragedies would stand the test of time. Any efforts to change that would fall flat. The Order had played too significant a role in shaping this new world. Finally, he turned to Godric, kneeling as he met his regret filled eyes.
Assassin pulled an infamous rod from his side, dubbed the Executioner's Handle. Forged in the Dominion of Shadow by Assassin some three thousand years ago. It was one and a half feet long of shadow infused steel and bound with his own divine essence. Ominous black tendrils crawled along Assassin's hand like something alive and flowed into the handle. The shaft elongated, and an axe head formed at its end.
Though he had accepted his fate, seeing that axe form made Rexinon's heart stop momentarily. He looked at Godric questioningly. Godric knew what that look meant and nodded his head in assent. Agreeing to this had allowed them both to right several wrongs this night by asking one simple question. "Do you have any final words or requests?"
"I have two, if you'll grant them. The first, allow me to disband the Order formally as my final act as headmaster."
Seth started to protest, but Assassin lowered the axehead in his direction as a silent threat. Seth glared at Assassin with seething hatred. Godric nodded to Rexinon. "Proceed."
As the headmaster of the Hellyrrian Order, he had a mental connection with every member. Without hesitation, Rexinon's eyes began to glow with a brilliant purple hue. This would be Rexinon's final order, and Godric knew it would save thousands.
"My brothers and sisters, hear me now and heed my words. Abandon the Order and save yourselves. Flee to the hills and never look back to what we once were. With my dying breath, the Hellyrrian Order is no more. The governments of Aurelia have played a hand we can't stand against. Anyone who disregards this command will be hunted down and executed without mercy. To the leaders and guild masters of the Order, I charge you with dismantling everything relating to the Order and turning over every artifact and document you can to Godric the Just, Jonathan the Wise, or Assassin the Watcher. I also ask that you help calm those who feel outraged and betrayed by this night. Do not blame the Twelve, as they were little more than pawns in this corrupt game of politics. Farewell, my friends. My family. May the peace we have fought for be found in the coming days."
The glow faded, and he slumped forward onto his hands, his breathing labored. A few moments passed, and he managed to catch his breath but still looked towards the ground.
"The second request I have is that anyone who would heed that warning be spared. The ruling factions wanted me. As long as no one else causes trouble, we know they won't cause too much fuss over it."
His voice took on a much sharper edge as he looked back up. "You call us a cult, though you know we are nothing of the sort. On the contrary, our Order has stood for nearly five thousand years for the betterment of the entire world. How they treated you should tell you that what I said and what we were doing was justified."
"Shut your mouth, Rex!" Seth spat venomously.
Godric glared at Seth. His own anger with this situation was at the point of breaking free. "Be silent! I don't know what kind of grudge you have, but I, for one, don't give a damn what the council said. Rexinon doesn't deserve death for the crimes he's being accused of. Unfortunately, the ruling factions in almost every nation are corrupted and working towards being as corrupt as they were back in our day." Godric sighed. "Regrettably, my hands are tied, though. The law is the law, and I have been overruled on this matter. Regardless of what my conscience thinks, I will abide by the rules of the land."
Rexinon nodded, understanding Godric's situation perfectly. Godric had become the divine embodiment of law and justice at his ascension. While those two things work hand in hand, they are far from the same, and one must often walk a fine line to serve them both. In this case, the choices were clear. In the end, it didn't matter what he chose; he would inevitably betray one virtue or the other. Unfortunately, there was no good way for him to handle this, and Rexinon could see how this was affecting him.
"The majority of the Order will heed my warning. As for the leaders, if any are still alive, they will follow that command to the letter. They'll even aid you in handling any hotheads who resist," Rexinon said.
"The good news is that no one has yet been executed this evening. I'll personally see to it that those who abide by that order are given a chance to live long, productive lives within society. If all goes well, you will be the only casualty of this idiocy."
Rexinon gave the faintest sign of a smile with a halfhearted chuckle as he said, "Godric, one thing I'll not allow is any of the Order's work ending up in the hands of one of those tyrants. Therefore, I demand that Jonathan be given every document, scroll, and tome held within our strongholds for safekeeping." Rexinon felt exhausted. The spell to warn his Order took more out of him than anticipated.
"You're in no position to be making demands of us," Seth said. Godric finally snapped and struck him so hard that he slammed back into the wall beside the fireplace, cracking it. He got back to his feet a moment later, fixed his shirt, and looked down at the blood he'd wiped from his lip. Godric looked back at Rexinon.
"As you were saying."
"Assassin, I'd ask that you secure all our relics and artifacts, regardless of their magical significance. I don't need to tell you what all we have housed around Aurelia."
"No, you don't. The nukes of our time were nothing compared to some of those items," Assassin replied.
"We'll see to it that it's done. There are things within these walls that were never meant for untrained mortal hands," Godric added.
"Thank you."
"As for the texts, Jonathan will have a field day going through everything. There is far too much the council doesn't understand within these walls that we can't afford to lose."
"Godric was right, Rex. I still have everything. Much of which has been quite useful over the centuries,"
Godric turned his head away, no longer able to look Rexinon in the eye. "I no longer deserve the right to call you a friend, but is there anything else you would ask of me?"
Rexinon looked at Godric for a long time and couldn't help but smile. Not at his pain or suffering in following the orders given to him, but knowing that if anyone here had ever been a friend to him, Godric certainly was. With his final words, he left Godric with a warning.
"No, but I'll leave you with this. Be wary of those among you, for one will betray you all. My friend."
Godric nodded, accepting these as Rexinon's final words as a tear ran down his cheek. Rexinon lowered his head, and Assassin enveloped his axe's blade in a purple aura.
"Woah, Assassin, what's with the new color? Never seen that before," Seth asked.
Ignoring the question, Assassin swung the axe, severing Rexinon's head cleanly.
That night, the cries of the Order were heard in every city across Aurelia. All mourning the death of the Order's first, and last, headmaster.
Jonathan fought back tears of his own as he watched the axe's head vanish. Assassin secured the handle on his belt as he walked towards the desk. Godric looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Did you do as I asked?" Godric asked shakily.
"Of course. I may be a trained killer, but even I know this was bullshit, mate."
Seth walked over and picked up Rexinon's severed head by the hair. He held it up before him, a mischievous grin on his face. Then he whispered something into Rexinon's ear.
Assassin's eyes locked on Seth. As he let go of the head, he used one of his abilities, known as shadow step, to cross the distance to where Seth stood. Before Rexinon's head hit the ground, Assassin snatched it out of the air and punched Seth so hard that it sent him flying into the same section of the wall he'd hit earlier. He bounced off it, but the force of the impact sent several of the stones flying into the next room. Seth crumpled to the floor, where he lay unmoving for several seconds. After a while, his head snapped upright, and he began to laugh. He stood up as if nothing had happened and headed out the door. Godric, now seething with anger, watched as Assassin started to go after him. "Leave him. He's not worth your time."
Jonathan paced around the room, waiting for the spell to wear off. His heart ached, and his own anger toward Seth at that moment made him wish he could destroy the man. But that was Seth's way, and they'd all learned to let it go in time. The world began to blur and vanish, reverting to the Archive once again.
He closed the cover, placing the tome back on the shelf with a heavy sigh. His fingers lingered on the binding as he read the inscription, A Complete History of the Hellyrrian Order, Volume 666. Finally, Jonathan let his hand fall to the side as he walked away with his shoulders slumped.
As if speaking to an old friend, he lamented, "Damn you, Rex. Why couldn't you have just left well enough alone?"
As Jonathan walked away, he shed a tear at the loss of one of his closest friends.
submitted by Michael_AN_Creech to KeepWriting [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:10 kcalleyb Lcw

I’m going to the same concert we went to last year, with someone else. I cannot stop thinking of how badly I miss you. The last 6 months have been absolute hell.
I know if you wanted to talk to me you would. I know if you wanted to see me .. you would.
I hate that I felt so enamored by you and afraid of falling that I froze up and ruined everything. I know it doesn’t look like it to the outside world, but I miss you every single day. I imagine it was easy for you to just shut the door and never looked back.
I don’t know why I thought we had such a great connection. I must have just imagined it all in my head. I don’t know why I thought you were different and I don’t know why I still think of you even when I am supposed to be in love with someone else. I don’t know why I am so addicted to how you made me feel when I was with you.
You told me once a girl in college broke your heart - it was only three months and it ruined you for a long time. I think you passed that curse of unrequited love on to me.
I hope someday you can at least communicate in some way and tell me what the hell happened so I can close this book and stop wondering.
submitted by kcalleyb to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:06 Aryan_Kashyap10 Exciting Esports News and Updates: Check out the Latest Post on Esports Verge!

Hey, gamers! 🎮 Want to stay in the loop with all the action-packed esports news? Look no further than Esports Verge!
Are you ready to dominate the virtual football pitch in FIFA 23? We've got some exciting news for you! Check out our latest post on Esports Verge where we reveal the top five club teams that will elevate your gaming experience to new heights!
🔥 Introducing: FIFA 23 - The Five Best Club Teams
🌐 Link to the Post:
Whether you're a die-hard fan of a specific club or seeking the perfect squad to dominate your opponents, this post has got you covered. Discover the clubs that possess the right balance of skill, strategy, and star power to lead you to victory.
But that's not all! Our FIFA 23 post goes beyond just the top teams. We also provide valuable insights and tips to help you master the gameplay mechanics, team chemistry, and tactics necessary to dominate the virtual football world.
Why should you check out our FIFA 23 post? Here are a few reasons:
✅ Unveil the best club teams for your FIFA 23 journey.
✅ Learn about the strengths and advantages of each team.
✅ Get expert advice on building a winning strategy.
✅ Discover hidden gems and rising stars within these clubs.
✅ Connect with a community of passionate FIFA players.
So, don't miss out on this opportunity to elevate your FIFA 23 gaming experience! Head over to Esports Verge and read the full post now.
🌐 Don't miss out! Read the full post here:
Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, and favorite club teams in the comments section of the article. We love hearing from fellow FIFA enthusiasts and engaging in lively discussions about the game.
Don't forget to follow Esports Verge on Social Media Platforms to stay updated with the latest FIFA 23 news, tips, and exciting content.
Get ready to dominate the virtual pitch with FIFA 23's best club teams! See you on Esports Verge!
submitted by Aryan_Kashyap10 to u/Aryan_Kashyap10 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:03 Sensitive-Sea23 Am I (29f) being too demanding and not understanding my partner (28m) enough?

Okay, I've debated making this for months for a few reasons. I'm kinda worried about my partner somehow finding this, and putting the pieces together it's about us and he'll get very upset. Actually really scared.
I guess another reason is just judgement? Or all of this sounds really silly. Sorry, I'll get on with it. To understand better here's some context.
I've been with my partner for about nearly 7 years. We've been married for about 4. Before even meeting him and dating he had been dedicating a lot time to an MMO game. I am a gamer as well so we connected through mutual interests and so on. However, I don't play MMOs. They never appealed to me.
This game is really important to him, series wise, and it was something him and his brother once shared. Early dating and living together he would go all day at the game, I mean all day. I used to work 12 hour shifts so he'd be playing when I'd get home and go right to sleep since my next shift was in 12 hours. And when I'd wake up to start getting ready, roughly 10 hours later, he'd still be playing, and its not that he stopped and just picked it back up. He just, hadn't moved.
It got to the point he said we'd do something and I'd be waiting on him to finish up on the game, and hours later, he's not done with the daily duties. I don't play this MMO, so honestly I don't know if realistically it takes this long. I did give him an ultimatum and tell him he had an addiction after a few months. It was me or the game. And he stopped. Honestly our relationship felt great. I did feel a bit bad though.
Okay, here's where we get to my main question and concerns. 3 years ago we moved overseas due to his work. A few months in, he brought up he missed playing, and missed some of the friends he made through the game.
I felt sympathetic, and honestly a bit guilty too. He also was hesitant to start because he was worried he'd be too behind story wise, raids, etc.
I encouraged he should try, as long as he promised to not let it get out of hand again.
3 years later and being overseas, he's the breadwinner. He pays the bills, he goes to work, provides needs, and he 100% financially supports me. He's often exhausted from work, I get that.
The usual routine is he gets home, and hops on his computer, starts a discord call, and that's the rest of the night. It's practically like this several days a week.
I tried to gently approach this many times. Explaining how with his attention just being focused something else often, I am lonely. I have no one else. I miss him, since him wearing headphones being in a call, we don't even converse that entire time. Also I am genuinely concerned with his well being and health because I truly care. On average he stays up very late playing on work nights and he's definitely tired constantly. He usually says it's because of stress and work. On weekends, I'd argue he plays at least 10 to 12 hours a day. He's taken weeks off in the past from work to dedicate it to these "raids"
When approached about the subject, it usually erupts into a really nasty conversation, ending with me in tears. He gets angry because he feels I'm "trying to control what he does in his free time" he wants "his freedom" he "deserves to relax and unwind in his free time" "he wants to decide when he wants to do something else" "it's one of the few things that helps with his stress" me bringing it up "stresses him out and makes him feel guilty" he's "an adult and can decide to do whatever he wants"
I often just.. don't say anything anymore if I can. I don't want to start anything. I'd rather try to keep the peace than have him get wound up about the subject as he always does
I never brought up quitting, but I have asked if there's any way to play less. Besides what he has said, these "raids" are very important to him. I'm a gamer too, I get the grind, the item drops, etc. His words to my understanding, if he's not at it every night, he will get behind and have no one to raid these certain fights with because of the timezone. Why? It's important to him and because of the rewards, etc.
Today he actually offered to go out to get some food, and I asked if he was sure since I figured he was tired. Half way eating be brought up "I didn't think this would take this long. Now I lost a day to "prog" because no one is going to be on because of the timezone and everyone is moving on to the next fight and I have to work twice as hard" I didn't really finish my food and I suggested we go so we didn't take up anymore time. I felt bad and I did understand to an extent.
Maybe I really am the problem? Is this game that time consuming? Am I not being considerate enough? He is right, he is an adult, he is allowed to make his own decisions. Because I don't play this specific game am I just not understanding all this?
He's talking with his discord friends he plays and talks to all the time right now, but it sounds like he didn't find anyone to raid with tonight because we got home too late.
He has his good moments, I feel I need to mention this, and at the end of the day, he does provide and pay the bills, my bills too, but during these "raids seasons" this is all his time and any disturbing him seems to really just set him off.
I've been feeling incredibly guilty all night. I feel guilty I ruined his weekend. I'm so sorry this post was so long and so much rambling. Hopefully someone who also plays can shed some light to maybe help me understand too. I always have been a overly needy person
submitted by Sensitive-Sea23 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 16:02 union6 Alter pictures of people long passed?

I think I remember reading somewhere that you shouldn’t (or at least serves no purpose) have pictures of people who have been dead for a long time on an alter. That an ancestor shrine should be separate. The logic was, I think, that LSM only deals with those who are either alive or only just passing, once she has guided them from our ‘world’ and into their next (wherever that may be) she then no longer has any ties or connections to them. I can’t find this anywhere however, so that has me wondering if I didn’t actually see it anywhere or if I miss read something etc.
Does anyone know what I’m talking about or have I just invented the whole thing? :)
Thank you
submitted by union6 to SantaMuerte [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 15:56 FigureItOutZ Checking In

A reddit break has been on the whole a positive thing for me, but I don't entirely want to lose my connection to this community. I miss many of your digital voices. I appreciate those of you who've left comments just saying hi or that you also missed my "voice". This is kind of an update on what's been going on.
I started my break from reddit after a relapse on my sex addiction bottom lines. I decided to do it for two reasons: (1) When I considered my entire day, I was using Reddit for a large portion of the day that I thought I should invest in "real world" activities; (2) I was using Reddit to seek pornography.
I wish I could say I've been successful on both fronts but I haven't. In the roughly two months or so, I have succeeded in reinvesting time into other healthy activities. I've made deeper connection with my kids, I've spent more time talking to my wife, and I've made a lot of progress on personal activities that are part of my outer circle (woodworking, exercise, music, reading).
I've been unsuccessful in breaking my pornography habit entirely. When I've wanted to use it, reddit has proved all too easy a channel to get my fix. I know my freedom from this habit won't come through blocks / hurdles but rather a transformation of my spirit. I want to someday say my sexuality is only with my partner; I'm struggling with that today.
On a therapy front, I've made a lot of progress and I have a few insights to share that might help others who had similar struggles as me.
I've had two really profound realizations in regards to communication. The first is that I have a trauma response where I will often first focus on the negative in a new situation before I look at the positive. The second is that I focus heavily on the facts and content of a discussion more than the emotion and this prevents deeper connection. These aren't bad things in and of themself, but they are things I need to be aware of.
The realization about the trauma response came from my wife sharing in couples therapy that sometimes she and the kids are hesitant to talk to me about new ideas or bad news because they don't know if "grumpy Z" is going to come out. They actually have a nickname for me, and that hurt to find out, but I get it. It's true though, i frequently focus on the downside of something new in my initial reaction. Many times I'll think about it later and see all the upsides and come around to their point of view, but by then they've only heard me complain.
When I told my IC about this conversation she immediately told me how common that is for people who've had childhood trauma. In my case, I needed to constantly be vigilant because I was making sure nothing hurt my brother or me. My dad was dead and I was the man of the house; i needed to protect everyone. Everything was a threat. I don't listen to things thinking how they will benefit me, I listen defensively looking for how they will harm me. I've carried that habit through my whole life, and often it's helpful. I'm great in a crisis because I've often already thought of 10 exit plans.
But now I don't always need to be in threat mode, in fact most new things in my life are positive and I really should be first looking at how my daughter's idea to go kayaking this weekend will be good for our relationship (even if it does mean I can't do the woodworking project i had in mind)... or whatever is the "new" information, i really don't have to always be looking for the "threat".
So that's kind of the first realization and it's helping me to forgive myself for having the negative reaction while also trying to focus on looking for the positive first. If you find this is how you often react, i hope thinking about the trauma response is helpful.
Then on the emotion front...
Our couples counselor thinks this is kind of a "man thing" so maybe the other guys out there will find this helpful.
For me in conversation, i find myself listening really closely to the sequence of events like I'm going to need to repeat this story line back to someone later. I need to remember she first went to breakfast with Jane, then called Rebecca on the phone, then had a disagreement with Jack at work, then spilled an afternoon coffee, then hit traffic on the way home so took a detour down Spring Lane.
This serves me really well if I'm asked then for input on the situation or how to solve a problem. But it's not really connection. I'm missing the entire emotional dimension to the communication.
And that was the realization that hit me: Listen for the Emotion, not the Content. I literally repeat that to myself when talking with my wife OR really with anyone in my life I'm trying to deepen the connection.
When I can listen to that sequence of events and say something like "wow it sounds like such a great morning, but i guess that disagreement really sorta brought everything to a halt - I hate it when I'm feeling really good and then one person throws me off, i have such a hard time getting back into a good mood" << that's a chance for connection, it's a chance to show I'm not just listening, i'm feeling. It helps us look for ways we are the same and sometimes where we are different. But we see each other.
When I told my wife I'm interested in this and i'm just trying to get better, she was supportive in trying to give me feedback. She's honestly also pretty analytical / focus on the facts, too. When she's out with girl friends they tell her all sorts of intimate things but she rarely shares back. So I think we both have work on this front. She can listen well but I have doubts that she's as good at sharing as she thinks she is.
I do think this is probably the biggest opportunity for us - and what ultimately will either lead to our success or failure in reconciliation. As I've understood my addiction more, it's really a deep need for intimacy and connection that I just sought out in a truly unhealthy way. Despite how disconnected I got, I'm still searching for it. I also think this is the key to how I begin to be so strongly connected that the pull of pornography or other inner circle behaviors will lose more of it's appeal. Right now it's just a poor substitute for real connection, but i'm very weak when i feel like i don't have real connection so I'll take even the poor substitute.
So anyway that's kind of how it's going. I do hope some of the above is informative or helpful to some of you if you identify with bits of my story.
submitted by FigureItOutZ to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]