How old is lori goldstein qvc

i think watching the women in my life choose so many horrible men has made me believe that my idea of love doesn’t exist. i want love. genuine, honest, deep love that is felt by both of you for each other and ONLY each other. but after everything i’ve seen, i don’t think that’s real.
my mom has had three major relationships. the first one was her high school sweetheart, with whom she had my older sister. he didn’t know how to grow up, so she left. the next was my dad, and that relationship was toxic on so many levels. the ab*se was mostly physical. and though i got better versions of both of my parents after they split, that doesn’t erase the almost 13 years of trauma i have carried with me, and that has affected every potential relationship i’ve had. her last major relationship is with my stepdad. he is the most narcissistic, negative man i have ever met. i hate the way he speaks to her. she wants to leave so bad, but can’t, because every time she has worked, he has accused her of cheating, and every other thing in the book. and she’s almost not allowed to go anywhere without him. for example: when she took my prom dress shopping, he threw a fit because we were out all day. so prom dress shopping is supposed to take five minutes…?
and then there’s my sister. who moved to fast in a relationship and now has a kid barely two years in. and while i wouldn’t trade my nephew for anything, she wasn’t ready. and now she’s seeing someone else (who we’ll call Tyler). she broke it off with the father of her kid (we’ll call him John) supposedly, but he gave her an engagement ring today. and now she’s saying she doesn’t know if they’re actually separated. what frustrates me the most is that when John found out about Tyler, he got upset, rightfully so, and my sister acted like he had no reason to get upset. my problem with my sister is that she keeps acting like she’s the victim in the situation. and i get she’s hurting too, but she’s the one that cheated. and John has two kids of his own that are being affected by this too. she keeps saying she wants to make it work with John, but she refuses to let Tyler go. so basically, it’s a mess and i have to keep hearing about it and it takes everything i have to keep my mouth shut. honestly, if my nephew wasn’t here, i would say something. but now i’m scared that if i do say something, she won’t allow me to see my nephew.
i guess what i’m getting is that i’m scared that i’m gonna end up like my mom and sister. my sister was supposed to learn from my mother’s mistakes. so what if i can’t either? i want love so badly. i’m not a single and living my best life girl. i’m a relationship girl who has so much love to give and is so ready to give it and is so ready to be in love. i want my person. but i don’t wanna settle, and i don’t wanna choose a crappy man and end up unhappy.
i’ve cried and prayed about this so many times. and i’m not saying that i can’t be happy single, or i’m just a codependent person. i’m very capable of taking care of myself, i’ve done it my entire life, and i’m really happy with where my life is at right now. but as my old therapist put it, i’m a “relationship person.” i love connections with people and sharing love, no matter the kind, with people. that’s just the person i am. and i’m so ready to have that romantic, loving, genuine, honest connection with someone. and i want to believe in that kind of connection, but my mom and sister also swore they found their person, and look where that’s gotten them.
i’ve just decided that it’s going to have to take God Himself coming down and telling me to my face that a man is the one before i settle down with someone, because that’s how scared i am.
if you made it this far, i could really use some advice. or you can tell me to get the stick out of my a**, i don’t really care at this point.
thanks :)

I am a female 19 year old college student. When I was in high school, I became friends with a girl whom we’ll call Joe(18). She and I became friends and bonded over our love for plants, music, books, tv, and art. To paint a picture of her, she grew up in a religious christian household, and left christianity sometime in early high school. She was on and off of different antidepressants and mood stabilizers throughout our friendship. She had the same therapist for many years and had a close relationship with her. She loves her animals and urges me and our other close friend, ( we’ll call her ember ) to let her dogs and cats lick our faces because that’s how they connect to people. She saves baby birds with broken wings, loves kids, and is generally just a positive and happy go lucky kind of chick.
I left for college in the fall of 2022, and she was still in high school, so we didn’t talk or hang out for almost a year. We also didn’t speak the summer leading up to the school year, because there had been a split down our friend group and joe, ember and I had gone our separate ways. She reconnected to me sometime in early 2023 asking to start hanging out and I told her no and made excuses because of the abrupt nature of our friendship ending the summer prior. I started working with her again at my summer job in my hometown a month ago and have since noticed many changes in her demeanor, verbiage, and overall personality, and I started smoking with her after work sometimes like we used to, including ember.
She talks way less, and frequently zones out or stays completely silent when anyone is talking to her. She often tells me she doesn’t understand what we’re talking about, or what’s “ going on “. She speaks in a kiddish manor, often reciting omens about forgiveness and peace. Almost scripture like. Like a kid in bible school. Anything that she liked before, books, art, tv, etc, she has no interest in now. The only tv she watches are kids cartoons, and says the reason why is that “ tv is meaningless so i just watch happy stuff “ which seems just like some hippie shit she would say so I didn’t think much of that. I noticed as we all hung out that when ember or I would talk about anything we liked, our hobbies or interests, she never had any of her own. She takes care of her plants, and reads and meditates. The thing is, she only reads one book. Over and over. It’s called, “ A Course in Miracles “.
As time has gone on she mentions this book more and more. In fact 9/10 times I hear her say ANYTHING it’s just a reference to the book or peace or forgiveness or how nothing matters and reality isn’t real. She claims that the only “ real “ thing is love, and anything else in this world or life other than that, is ego.
One day ember and I went to her house to smoke and when we get there we enter her room like usual, and to sit on the bed, I had to close this big blue book that was opened to the smack dab middle in the middle of her bed. I hand her the book to sit down, and I’m reading the title as I hand it over. She takes this action as interest, and starts explaining the book to me.
I hate to use this word, but she truly sounded completely delusional. She claimed she was just “ further along on her spiritual journey” than we were, and she had reached enlightenment by discovering that reality is an illusion, and sin doesn’t exist because nothing is real. She no longer believes in personal accountability, and recently has made plans with me 12 hours in advance and blown me off as I’m sitting there waiting in the parking lot for her to show up. I recently told her how upset this recurring action is, and she told me “ I’m not a planner. I’m a free spirit, I just go with the flow. What’s supposed to happen happens and what doesn’t, doesn’t. “
The issue with this of course being that she wasn’t that much of a free spirit to reach out and make the plan in the first place.
I started looking into this book and it turns out that the author regretted writing the book immensely, and said she “ hated that damn book “. She died of cancer, which according to the book, isn’t possible because enlightenment cures ALL sickness. The book has been openly criticized for it’s sketchy ties to christianity, the bureaucratic shit the author did to call this a self help book even though it’s more of a religious book, and also the insane contradictory statements it makes. The author of the book claimed that Jesus spoke to her and told her to rewrite the Bible, because it was wrong. Hence, this book. I’ve also read that this book preys on young minds that were indoctrinated by christianity and escaped it. Some call it new age woo.
The more I see the worse it gets. The author says she regrets writing it in the first place. This book sends people into a state of dissociative psychosis. I remember Joe saying to me, “ Before I found this book, I wanted to kill myself. “ I am afraid that she’s already too deep in and has no grip on reality at all, not that she believes in it anyway. And the loss of it might send her off the deep end.
I have lots of shit on my plate, so does everyone, but this is a really large topic, and I definitely don’t have any energy to entertain this further. She feels hollow. She has no passion for anything, except her belief in nothing. As her friend, and just as a human that is concerned, I feel some sort of obligation to do something about this. I also feel the urge to just not speak to her anymore and call it done. Her actions are very selfish and it is hard to empathize with her when I know that she didn’t do any research. It’s hard to even take it seriously in a way.
She didn’t do as much as a Google search before devoting her life to this book. She lives by its scriptures and uses them to do whatever she wants, whenever she feels like it.
Would stepping in at this point even help? Would she dismiss me as not real if I even had concerns about it or brought it up?
I am wondering if my friend is still in there somewhere. She’s just graduated high school and is still very young, but has always been a little naïve and uninformed. Do I jump off a sinking ship? Or is that selfish and I need to help her? I just had to get this out of my system because I cannot stop worrying about the consequences this is going to have.

I F19 have been diagnosed with Autism since I was 6 years old. It was via my diagnosis my dad began to suspect he may also be Autistic. He doesn’t have an offical diagnosis but all the signs are there and just judging by his behaviour and his past as a child it’s pretty obvious he’s definitely not neurotypical and probably autistic.
Anyway, I’m absolutely miserable at home. He refuses to get help even though it’s obvious he has issues. My mum also has ADHD and depression/anxiety so that adds another layer of complexity.
Basically both of my parents have a lot of un-dealt with issues. Because my mum struggled with depression and sometimes kinda loses it and overreacts, my dad has taken it upon himself to be the main caregiver. Whilst I appreciate him and love him, I think because of his probable autistic behaviours he becomes really really obsessive and is very intense (I know because I am like this but I’ve been learning to manage it properly), especially with me because I have a lot of issues, his mindset is to be an overbearing/protective parent and he is a bit too intense.
He is an extreme micromanager, I think the way he has learnt to cope and avoid shutdowns/meltdowns is essentially to be in absolute control of EVERYTHING so that nothing can set him off.
Here is an example of his behaviour:
Last night when I was cleaning up after dinner he completely lost it because I didn’t do it HIS WAY in the RIGHT order. He is obsessed with routine and believes this will work for everyone. His routine when cleaning up involves wiping down the sink before the bench. In this case I wiped down the bench before the sink. He got really irritated and angry and started yelling at me telling me I couldn’t do it that way. He lectured me on the importance of doing things in such an orderly manner and made such a small thing into some big life lesson.
I know in his mind his intentions are good, he lived off and masked his whole life through living via routines like this. He genuinely believes micromanaging everything I do will benefit me in the long term and he constantly actively encourages me to mask but this just results in burnout for me.
For example, I basically always wear my headphones, it helps me focus and I’m very sensitive to noise. He knows this. But still always gets extremely upset when I wear them saying it is rude. I try explaining to him why I wear them and that I can hear him perfectly fine, and that it just blocks out the background noises. Then again he turns it into a life lecture - he tells me in the real world I cannot do this as everyone will think I’m being rude and blocking them out, that I need to learn to just ‘deal’ with these things like he did.
He is so overly critical whenever I try advocate for myself. Now I just stay in my room and avoid him because whenever I see him, he turns it into a lecture and he doesn’t respect my boundaries as well with things and is way too involved in my life.
Like recently, I started dating a guy, he’s great and things are going well, I told my dad about it and later that night we had a lot of extended family over, he then proceeded to announce that I had some big announcement to make. I talked quietly to him under my breath asking him not to do that because this guy and I aren’t even EXCLUSIVE YET. I was very embarrassed and upset, I like to keep my dating life personal and not share it with my whole extended family who I barely know. He then proceeded to tell them every single detail. And he won’t leave me alone about it, he is constantly suggesting dates and things I can do to ‘test’ this guy. Insists on reading all our messages, wants me to tell him every little detail about our dates, essentially stalked this guy’s social media, etc. My dad had a LITERAL FILE on his computer with my ex’s full name on it and all this information about him in it, which is WAY over the line. It’s like I have become my dad’s special interest/passion project. Back in high school he completely socially isolated me from all my friends for MONTHS because he was so concerned about how they may influence me (we were basically the ‘nerd’ group, everything we did was harmless). He insisted on being there for ALL of my sessions with my psychologist as well when I was 15-18. He wanted me to go into graphic design (his career) because that’s what he thought would be best for me - it’s not even at all what I’m interested in, I want to go into medicine! He has all my passwords to everything and gets upset when I tell him it’s not appropriate for him to have them now that I’m 19 and will guilt trip me saying “I’m your father, what bad things would I possibly do with them”.
He doesn’t do this with my other sisters but for some reason he is so obsessed and hyper-focused on my life and every single little thing that I do. I know I’ve become obsessive with people before due to my autism but I’ve learnt how to handle it because it’s wrong/unhealthy. Idk what to do, I feel miserable.

We recent got a new EV SUV and it got curb rash in two rims on two difference days and spouse is upset because of this. We had a big fight about this and my driving and even though I apologized but she insists that I always use the old SEDAN car when I go to work and I cannot use the new car. I find this extreme and disrespectful. Not that it matters, we can afford the car and I do make more than her and I am treated this way. FYI: I did accept not to use the new car thinking this is just her anger talking but feel it's a mistake.
Any advice here on how to deal with this? Is this just a temporary anger issue?
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tL;dr How do I deal with a this situation where wife wants me not drive the new car because it got a curb rash in the first week?

I’m sitting here, looking at my 7 year old Guinea pig sitting next to his stack of food bowls. They’re about as big as he is, and he is one heck of a big pig (3.8 pounds). I don’t stack his bowls. I’ve never seen him stack his bowls. Yet every once in a while, I’ll walk by his cage and find them stacked on top of one another. I have no idea how he does this. I’ve never witnessed it happening. It just happens. It’s been happening since he was a little pup. And he always seems so proud of himself.

Hi, I’m looking for some advice or recommendations on how to complete the final step of the cat introduction process.
Resident cat: Iskra, 1.5 years old New cat: Sprout, 5 months old
About 6 weeks ago, we adopted Sprout because we wanted a companion for Iskra and and an outlet for his energy. Iskra is generally very tolerant and what we would have described as “chill” however he has not acclimated to Sprout as we had anticipated.
When we brought Sprout home, we quarantined him in our bathroom through a zippered screen door. Within the first week things were going so well that they were eating side by side with no barrier. We thought we could let Sprout out to meet Iskra in the living room however Iskra immediately attacked Sprout and there was fur flying (no broken skin thankfully). After that incident, we realized we progressed a bit too fast and started back at the beginning with very carefully supervised introduction sessions. Over the past month, we have them meet in the living room together at least once per day where I distract Sprout with his favorite toy and my partner distracts Iskra with snacks. We make sure to stop if Iskra is showing any signs of aggression or looking like he is going to attack.
Today we were able to get up to 1 hour of supervised play time where Iskra’s body language was positive (yawning, slow blinks, laying down, etc). However, Iskra will still try to play rough through the screen door and posture like he is trying to bite Sprout’s neck. Sometimes they are both trying to pounce on each other through the door and we can tell it’s play, but sometimes Iskra will still make questionable sounds or movements.
In one particular instance a few days ago, Sprout had kitten zoomies and managed to get a roll of toilet paper in his litter box and was “attacking” the paper and throwing litter everywhere. From the other side of the screen, Iskra let out a scream like you hear when two cats are getting into an all-out fight, and his tail was puffed. It was very startling and the first time we have heard him make that noise.
My partner and I feel conflicted about knowing if they are ready to meet without explicit distraction based on Iskra’s confusing behavior. It’s great that Iskra is able to calmly tolerate Sprout’s presence in the same room for an hour, but at the same time he displayed the troubling behavior when Sprout attacked the toilet roll.
As cat owners, my partner and I do all the “right things” - lots of interactive play through the day, set meal times, lots of litter boxes throughout the house, cat towers and beds, etc. We have pheromone diffusers in the house and Iskra eats a calming treat provided by our vet every day.
I feel guilty that Sprout is in the bathroom most of the day and he is starting to cry when we put him back after a play session or a site swap. We know that they will need to figure out dominance and there will be some scuffles involved, but we aren’t sure at what point to let that happen.
What kind of behavior should we be looking for in Iskra before we let them interact without distraction? Are we being overly cautious? It seems like there isn’t much information on cat introductions once you reach this step of the process.
Thank you!

Growing up, my parents did everything to give me a great life. I am so grateful for that. I grew up in a small town where everyone knows everything before you do. My dad passed away when I was very young. I was 5. I remember that day as if I relive it every day. It changed me in ways I still am trying to figure out. I remember my dad and all the times we had together. My brother stepped up and moved in with me and my mom. He was and is still like a father figure to me. My school at the time put me in therapy and gave me an IEP. Throughout school, I always felt like a failure. I had teachers tell me ill never make it in life. I was 11 at the time. It hung over my head at all times. When I was a freshman in high school, that's when I felt like I could do anything. I felt powerful as a 14-year-old. My brother started dating a woman who had a daughter in my grade. They were together for two years. We got along even though we had different friend groups. She was a good friend and amazing to be around. There was no hate between us. They broke up when I was a freshman. We had the same history class together. We were doing a group project in that class that day. I had no idea that when I woke up that day, my life would explode in my face. She sat across from me, not in groups desks were in rows. She told me she had the information I didn't know about, and thought I should know. She told me I was adopted. I laughed I didn't believe it, she told me more. She told me my mother and father were my grandparents. She told me that my sister was my biological mother and my whole family and friends knew and I didn't. I was hurt and angry. I felt betrayed, I didn't know any of these people who said they loved me. Realizing my cousin was my little brother broke me. Why did he get to stay with her and I didn't? I was robbed of everything. I went home, and my brother who I just found out was my uncle was home. I just stared at him thinking how could you, of all people? I lost it I was so angry and hurt I blacked it all out. I just remember wanting to get my stuff and stay at my friend's house. He called my mother, she was yelling and screaming, mad that I found out. She made it about herself. I didn't get answers about who my biological father was. None of them would tell me anything. I knew one thing, he was dead, and his first and last name. I found his obituary and found out I have two siblings not far from me. I got into contact with them but never met them in person, hopefully, one day. I was told my mom threatened everyone to take me away if anyone ever told me. It is so fucked up. It is a hard pill to swallow. I feel guilty for wanting to meet my half-siblings. I feel guilty for wanting to meet my biological father even tho I will never be able to. I know it was for all the right reasons but why did you have to lie? When I told my mother I wanted to meet them she blew up and told me I would never see her again. I said I have the right to know them, i have the right to know my father. She lost it that was the last time we ever talked about it. That was four years ago. I am 18 now and still struggling. I don't know if I should start therapy. I am scared that what I am going through is not valid enough. I do plan on meeting my half-sibling now that I am 18. I have so much guilt I don't want to hurt my mother or my dad. Am I the asshole for wanting to know them?

Eating a scorpion Growing gray hair and facial hair Bugs Apartment complex Skin care Clean bathroom
To dream of your own reflection in the mirror suggests that you are pondering thoughts about your inner self. The reflection in the mirror is how you perceive yourself or how you want others to see you. You may be contemplating on strengthening and changing aspects of your character.
To see your reflection in your dream represents your true self; it is time to look within. The reflection may highlight both your flaws and positive attributes. Learn from your flaws and how to improve them. At the same time, appreciate your good qualities. Alternatively, your reflection indicates how you want others to perceive you.
To see hair in your dream signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes
Dreaming that you have gray or white hair indicates that something important has just been made aware to you. It is a symbol of knowledge, wisdom and insight. The dream may also be a metaphor suggesting that you are feeling "light-headed".
you dream of growing a beard, then it highlights the masculine aspect of your personality. You want to be more assertive and have more power. Alternatively, the dream means that you are hiding your true character.
To dream that you are in a room represents a particular aspect of yourself or a specific relationship. Dreams about various rooms often relate to hidden areas of the conscious mind and different aspects of your personality. If the room is welcoming or comfortable, then it signifies opulence and satisfaction in life. If you dream of being in a dark or confined room, then it denotes that you feel trapped or repressed in a situation.
To see an attic in your dream represents hidden memories or repressed thoughts that are being revealed. It also symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self. Alternatively, it signifies difficulties in your life that may hinder you from attaining your goals and aspirations. However, after a long period of struggle, you will overcome these difficulties.
To see a cluttered attic in your dream is a sign to organize your mind and thoughts. Perhaps, you need to rid yourself of the past and let go of the past emotions that are holding you back.
To see your cousin in your dream represents something or some aspect of your character that is somewhat familiar. Perhaps you need to spend more time in cultivating and developing some emerging ability or character.
To dream about an apartment refers to your financial or emotional state. To dream of a large and lavish apartment means that you are headed in the right direction in life. Things will improve for you.
To dream that you are opening the blinds indicates that you are ready to reveal something significant and/or personal that was previously unknown.
To dream that you are in the bathroom relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.
To see your mother in your dream represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.
To see clutter in your dream indicates that you need to clean up and organize a certain aspect of your life. The dream could be telling you that you need to let go of the past.
To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.
To dream that you are outside represents freedom, openness and opportunities. You are able to spread out and enjoy. Alternatively, the dream signifies your need to be more expressive. It is telling you that you need to stop closing yourself off.
a situation in your waking life which may be painful or hurtful. It is also indicative of destructive feelings, "stinging" remarks, bitter words and/or negative thoughts being expressed by or aimed against you. You may be on a self-destructive and self-defeating path. You need to get rid of the old and make room for something new.
To dream that you are eating alone signifies loss, loneliness, and depression. You may feel rejected, excluded, and cut off from social/family ties. Eating may be a replacement for companionship and provide a form of comfort. Alternatively, eating alone reflects independent needs. Also consider the phrase, "what's eating you up?" in reference to anxiety that you may be feeling.

Hello, everybody. I (male, 25) am in a bit of a pickle. A few days something happened that now makes me feel infinitely guilty and afraid. But here's a full story for you: I met my gf(female 21 now) 4 years ago, at a university. We live in Europe, and had to study the language together. In a few months after meeting each other we started dating. And it wasn't a smooth sailing. Both of us didn't have any real dating experience and didn't know what we needed from relationships. Same goes for sexual experience - i had some, but very little, she had none. But through talking and overcoming difficulties, we made it work. For three years the relationships were basically perfect - lots of love, we created our personal little world, and needed no one but each other. She became the only person I wanted to talk to, the only person i wanted to see. But we moved in together around 8 months ago, and she had to find a job... which basically meant she had 40 hour job and around 30 hours of uni every week. And her and mine works are from home, so we spent a lot of time seeng each other. THis started to slowly make our sex life less and less active, since it got harder and harder to find time for it, since the pressure from uni and work on her side made her really tired and emotionally fatique. My job also took a lot of time and thoughts. So we kinda became super boring, but still enjoyed our time together. And in those rare weekends when we were free, we rarely thought about having intercourse. Which is a part of the problem. But in the same time over the past half a year I had to travel a lot for work and other things, which made things worse. When we're not close, I start seeing issues that I didn't see before. When something interesting is happening in my life, and hers is just work and uni, I felt lke im dating a boring person. Or I started seeing issues with her character. Nn-critical issues, the ones that you can live with, but it still made me somewhat disappointed. And the lack of intimacy made me more and more sad whether I chose the right woman from a visual and sexual standpoint. But again, we managed to live and have some happy times. But the worst things started to happen when I needed to travel to Taiwan for a month. And here my brain just started to fuck things up. I started feeling obsessed with ideas like: "we didn't have time to explore the world, to see ourselves and learn what we like and want, both sexually and from people and life." And this thought started to bake into my brain, to the point that I decided to start talking to a psychologist as soon as I have a chance. And on one day a woman texted me on couchsurfing, suggesting to show me the city. She's a beautiful and confident 40-year-old taiwanese. And we instantly got the chemistry, at least sexually. On the second time I met her I told her about my gf, and explicitly stated that nothing could happen, only sightseeing. But it seems like for her it became a challenge. She started testing my boundaries and how far can she go. To be fair - i didn't know my boundaries either, I thhought I'll feel when its rong. But nothing crazy happened. Until the weekend trip. The woman offered to go on a motorcycle trip. I asked my gf on what to do, and she said that motorcycle trip in taipei is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,a dn that I should go but make sure the woman doesn't do anything. And in that trip... The woman started to slowly seduce me. I rejected her as much as I could, saying no to everything, but she kept pushing, and pushing, and pressing me with words like: "i just want you to have good memories of your trip." So on the second morning of the trip she started seducing me more, rubbing herself on me. And to me the feeling of being desired by someone but my gf was so surreal , that I didn't know how to react. I just kinda let her do what she thought, but I didn't do anything myself. Before that it was only her hugging me and kissing my ear. I wasn't really enjoying what he did, but somehow couldn't find any strength to stop it. I knew that I was sexually attracted to that woman, but no romantic emotions were involved. So she asked me to masturbate together. I refused. Then she asked whether i could do it in a room nextdoor. I don't know why, but I agreed. I wasn't thinking straight, the hormones and desire were controlling me. So I kinda moaned a little, finished in a shower by myself, and went along with the day. Didn't feel shitty then, since all I did was what I usually did many times before. The only difference was that instead of porn I had someone moaning nextdoor. After that we still met a couple times, but the meetups didn';t involve anything sexual. She just hugged me, I petted her hair, and that's all. Basically did the things I missed doing with my gf. But a few days ago when it was the last time we met... It was supposed to be a farewell meeting - I'd say my goodbyes and go. But she offered to show me a hotel with jacuzzi. For four days I was avoiding agreeing. But then I thought - I wasn't bad at keeping boundaries before, I can do it now... Long story short, she startted seducing me again, eventually rubbing herself on my, which resulted in me nutting. We were in clothes, but she repeatedly placed my hands on her tits and ass... I know I behaved as an animal and wasn't thinking straight, but I kinda felt powerless to stop somethjing.. I felt really powerless... No sex happened, no penetration. I just touched boobs and ass a couple times, she rubbed herself on me, and I finished. Just couldn't resist it for some reason. Then I felt really dirty and left. I first called by best friend to tell him, ask for advice. Then I called my gf to tell her about what happened. I just can't keep secrets from her, especially like this. And now I feel like I betrayed her. I didn't want that, I wasn't going to those meetups for sex or anything like that. I was just fascinated with the fact that someone desires me without knowing me as a person, without building relationships first. I feel used, abused in a way, and so broken. I feel like I broke the trust we used to have, and that I won't be able to look in her eyes. That she won't see me as the man she fell in love with, that the guilt and weight of what I allowed to happen will haunt me till the end of my days. That eventually we're gonna brealk up because of it, and I'd end up absolutely lonely, scarred and afraid to meet someone else. I just want to rewind time and never agree to meet that woman... To never see her, to erase all memories of her and what happened. I want to continue the relationships with my gf, because I know that it is almost impossible to meet a person like she. She feels betrayed now, and I feel like I betrayed her. My parents and psychologist say that I might overthink, and that some flirt is a part of life. That I still did the right thing that I didn't fall completely into thhe trap laid by that woman. That it's just a misstep, an honest mistake of an inexperienced person, who I am. But I just can't shake the feeling that I failed and that my life is broken now. I don't know what to do, don't know whether my gf will understand and forgive me, and whether we'll be able to restore our relationships. Because I don't want to be with anyone but her... But now I blew all my chances... It hurts like hell... How can we save our relationship???

Life is good. Johnny Winters has been steadily growing his career as a software engineer and developer, programming and coding his way to the top of several different companies before finally being snagged on to the last one that promised him the highest pay. Whether he works in the fancy office, or from home, a steady six-figure salary keeps him more than afloat, and a cool, easy life of doing work that he loved ensured to keep him from falling into a depressive state. Because apart from his job being the only thing moving in his life, everything else has gone completely still. His social life? Nonexistent. He was a workaholic and only recently began to wind that down to appreciate life more. He was a 28 year old man - only two more years until he hits 30 and has been successful so far. But the time for youth and freedom was running thin, at least, in his mind. His friends from high school spread out all over the states, hell, some - the world. Relationships? When would he have the time? His focus was primarily on work. Although he’s fairly attractive, he’s unsure of how he would attract anyone now that he’s actually looking. Bars? Clubs? What if people don’t like him? What’s so special and unique about some boring human programmer? One day, while browsing through the apps… He found one he’d never heard of before.
Soulmatch.
No reviews. No ratings. Just a description: “Make a profile, feature your best portraits - showcase yourself and who you are. Inside, a massive assortment of all walks-of-life in our little underworld. If you’re interested, swipe right! If not, swipe left. They won’t know ~ If you match, engage in a conversation, plan a meet - become soulmatched with the demon of your dreams!”
No in-app purchases, no comments, no developer messages, no updates. Did it even exist? There was no one he knew to reach out to about it - nor a contact email or number. It was… Interesting to be based around the ‘underworld.’ Calling its users “demons”. Regardless of how strange it was - Johnny was ready for something different. Something new. A new chapter in his life that opened the many possibilities of dating. And so… He hit the download button.
Inside, however, Johnny would not find your average every day person. In fact, he wouldn’t find people at all… The app’s main userbase? The residents of Hell. Demons of all kinds – dark, deadly, vile, evil, psychotic or simply cute on the outside and devilish on the inside. What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is the one single human on the app.
—
Hello! Thank you for reading my RP prompt! In this RP, I am seeking someone capable of playing a variety of different characters to meet on the app while I GM and handle the story from Johnny’s perspective. I’ll be happy to play any and all NPCs, drive the plot forward and ensure we both have an equal amount of work. The RPs premise is, of course, the Hellish dating pool! All manner of demon are found in the app. They may have jobs like being assassins, or special important nobles/demon royalty, or your average Hellish citizen, etc. We can come up with them together, and feature the dates Johnny embarks on them with until he finds that special someone! What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is also involved in a much deeper story than he really knows…
I am seeking a Literate - Advanced Literate, active, creative partner that also enjoys speaking OOC. I find building a bond, discussing ideas and interacting lead to more fruitful partnerships. If you are interested in RPing with me, please DM me with an intro about yourself, why you’re interested in the plot, and a short writing sample + your Discord tag. The writing sample does not have to be long - I am purely just looking to see your English/writing skills. Thanks again for reading! Hope to see you in my DMs!

As a soon to be 20 year old, I must say that a lot of you need some serious mental help. Also, I know that you all have a lot of hormones influencing your thinking, and so that plus the easy access the internet gives makes you all think about it a lot more, but lots of you really need to find something to think about other than sex 24/7. Just by going into the subreddit itself to make a post, too post I saw in Hot was about sex. Quit worrying about relationships and whether you have one or not, or what is going on in them. You all haven't even lived a quarter of your lifespans, you have time for all that stuff later. Right now you all are already having to figure out your places in the world, and make lots of big decisions like going to college/trade school, and thinking about a career. Don't make things worse for yourself by caring about what other people think, or getting into a relationship. Besides, for better or for worse, like it or not, most of the people you know, you probably will never see or talk to again, of at least you will talk to them very little, and honestly, that's a good thing. Just focus on finding out who you are, and always seek to improve yourself and you will make friends, and have really good quality friendships; not just people you are only friends with because you are in close proximity with them a lot like any classmates. So for now, just stop caring about what others think about you, and start thinking about how to improve yourself and find out what you want to do. It's your life, don't let others dictate everything you do. Not saying to just do whatever you want though, those who truly care about will help wrangle you in when you are about to do something stupid.
I have overall greatly disliked this subreddit and have only stayed so I can have some sort of badge of honor in my own head of leaving once I turn 20, but I hope that those of you young-uns can see this message, and hopefully grow a little bit. I may have disliked this subreddit, but I wish the best for everyone in it. I have hardly posted in this subreddit, but this will probably be my last post here. So long guys, hope you all grow up well.

Life is good. Johnny Winters has been steadily growing his career as a software engineer and developer, programming and coding his way to the top of several different companies before finally being snagged on to the last one that promised him the highest pay. Whether he works in the fancy office, or from home, a steady six-figure salary keeps him more than afloat, and a cool, easy life of doing work that he loved ensured to keep him from falling into a depressive state. Because apart from his job being the only thing moving in his life, everything else has gone completely still. His social life? Nonexistent. He was a workaholic and only recently began to wind that down to appreciate life more. He was a 28 year old man - only two more years until he hits 30 and has been successful so far. But the time for youth and freedom was running thin, at least, in his mind. His friends from high school spread out all over the states, hell, some - the world. Relationships? When would he have the time? His focus was primarily on work. Although he’s fairly attractive, he’s unsure of how he would attract anyone now that he’s actually looking. Bars? Clubs? What if people don’t like him? What’s so special and unique about some boring human programmer? One day, while browsing through the apps… He found one he’d never heard of before.
Soulmatch.
No reviews. No ratings. Just a description: “Make a profile, feature your best portraits - showcase yourself and who you are. Inside, a massive assortment of all walks-of-life in our little underworld. If you’re interested, swipe right! If not, swipe left. They won’t know ~ If you match, engage in a conversation, plan a meet - become soulmatched with the demon of your dreams!”
No in-app purchases, no comments, no developer messages, no updates. Did it even exist? There was no one he knew to reach out to about it - nor a contact email or number. It was… Interesting to be based around the ‘underworld.’ Calling its users “demons”. Regardless of how strange it was - Johnny was ready for something different. Something new. A new chapter in his life that opened the many possibilities of dating. And so… He hit the download button.
Inside, however, Johnny would not find your average every day person. In fact, he wouldn’t find people at all… The app’s main userbase? The residents of Hell. Demons of all kinds – dark, deadly, vile, evil, psychotic or simply cute on the outside and devilish on the inside. What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is the one single human on the app.
—
Hello! Thank you for reading my RP prompt! In this RP, I am seeking someone capable of playing a variety of different characters to meet on the app while I GM and handle the story from Johnny’s perspective. I’ll be happy to play any and all NPCs, drive the plot forward and ensure we both have an equal amount of work. The RPs premise is, of course, the Hellish dating pool! All manner of demon are found in the app. They may have jobs like being assassins, or special important nobles/demon royalty, or your average Hellish citizen, etc. We can come up with them together, and feature the dates Johnny embarks on them with until he finds that special someone! What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is also involved in a much deeper story than he really knows…
I am seeking a Literate - Advanced Literate, active, creative partner that also enjoys speaking OOC. I find building a bond, discussing ideas and interacting lead to more fruitful partnerships. If you are interested in RPing with me, please DM me with an intro about yourself, why you’re interested in the plot, and a short writing sample + your Discord tag. The writing sample does not have to be long - I am purely just looking to see your English/writing skills. Thanks again for reading! Hope to see you in my DMs!

I am a female 19 year old college student. When I was in high school, I became friends with a girl whom we’ll call Joe(18). She and I became friends and bonded over our love for plants, music, books, tv, and art. To paint a picture of her, she grew up in a religious christian household, and left christianity sometime in early high school. She was on and off of different antidepressants and mood stabilizers throughout our friendship. She had the same therapist for many years and had a close relationship with her. She loves her animals and urges me and our other close friend, ( we’ll call her ember ) to let her dogs and cats lick our faces because that’s how they connect to people. She saves baby birds with broken wings, loves kids, and is generally just a positive and happy go lucky kind of chick.
I left for college in the fall of 2022, and she was still in high school, so we didn’t talk or hang out for almost a year. We also didn’t speak the summer leading up to the school year, because there had been a split down our friend group and joe, ember and I had gone our separate ways. She reconnected to me sometime in early 2023 asking to start hanging out and I told her no and made excuses because of the abrupt nature of our friendship ending the summer prior. I started working with her again at my summer job in my hometown a month ago and have since noticed many changes in her demeanor, verbiage, and overall personality, and I started smoking with her after work sometimes like we used to, including ember.
She talks way less, and frequently zones out or stays completely silent when anyone is talking to her. She often tells me she doesn’t understand what we’re talking about, or what’s “ going on “. She speaks in a kiddish manor, often reciting omens about forgiveness and peace. Almost scripture like. Like a kid in bible school. Anything that she liked before, books, art, tv, etc, she has no interest in now. The only tv she watches are kids cartoons, and says the reason why is that “ tv is meaningless so i just watch happy stuff “ which seems just like some hippie shit she would say so I didn’t think much of that. I noticed as we all hung out that when ember or I would talk about anything we liked, our hobbies or interests, she never had any of her own. She takes care of her plants, and reads and meditates. The thing is, she only reads one book. Over and over. It’s called, “ A Course in Miracles “.
As time has gone on she mentions this book more and more. In fact 9/10 times I hear her say ANYTHING it’s just a reference to the book or peace or forgiveness or how nothing matters and reality isn’t real. She claims that the only “ real “ thing is love, and anything else in this world or life other than that, is ego.
One day ember and I went to her house to smoke and when we get there we enter her room like usual, and to sit on the bed, I had to close this big blue book that was opened to the smack dab middle in the middle of her bed. I hand her the book to sit down, and I’m reading the title as I hand it over. She takes this action as interest, and starts explaining the book to me.
I hate to use this word, but she truly sounded completely delusional. She claimed she was just “ further along on her spiritual journey” than we were, and she had reached enlightenment by discovering that reality is an illusion, and sin doesn’t exist because nothing is real. She no longer believes in personal accountability, and recently has made plans with me 12 hours in advance and blown me off as I’m sitting there waiting in the parking lot for her to show up. I recently told her how upset this recurring action is, and she told me “ I’m not a planner. I’m a free spirit, I just go with the flow. What’s supposed to happen happens and what doesn’t, doesn’t. “
The issue with this of course being that she wasn’t that much of a free spirit to reach out and make the plan in the first place.
I started looking into this book and it turns out that the author regretted writing the book immensely, and said she “ hated that damn book “. She died of cancer, which according to the book, isn’t possible because enlightenment cures ALL sickness. The book has been openly criticized for it’s sketchy ties to christianity, the bureaucratic shit the author did to call this a self help book even though it’s more of a religious book, and also the insane contradictory statements it makes. The author of the book claimed that Jesus spoke to her and told her to rewrite the Bible, because it was wrong. Hence, this book. I’ve also read that this book preys on young minds that were indoctrinated by christianity and escaped it. Some call it new age woo.
The more I see the worse it gets. The author says she regrets writing it in the first place. This book sends people into a state of dissociative psychosis. I remember Joe saying to me, “ Before I found this book, I wanted to kill myself. “ I am afraid that she’s already too deep in and has no grip on reality at all, not that she believes in it anyway. And the loss of it might send her off the deep end.
I have lots of shit on my plate, so does everyone, but this is a really large topic, and I definitely don’t have any energy to entertain this further. She feels hollow. She has no passion for anything, except her belief in nothing. As her friend, and just as a human that is concerned, I feel some sort of obligation to do something about this. I also feel the urge to just not speak to her anymore and call it done. Her actions are very selfish and it is hard to empathize with her when I know that she didn’t do any research. It’s hard to even take it seriously in a way.
She didn’t do as much as a Google search before devoting her life to this book. She lives by its scriptures and uses them to do whatever she wants, whenever she feels like it.
Would stepping in at this point even help? Would she dismiss me as not real if I even had concerns about it or brought it up?
I am wondering if my friend is still in there somewhere. She’s just graduated high school and is still very young, but has always been a little naïve and uninformed. Do I jump off a sinking ship? Or is that selfish and I need to help her? I just had to get this out of my system because I cannot stop worrying about the consequences this is going to have.

Ok so it started when I was about 6/7 I can't remember which but anyway I used to love staying and my grandmas I love her she is one of a kind but she had a neighbor how used to come over he was pretty chill when I met him the first couple times we became good friends he was 13 at the time and my grandma used to have to take care of my pap he was 400 pounds at the time and could not do much for him self so the neighbor took care of me most of the time he gave me baths where this all started he used to lock the bathroom door and get in the tub with me he used to make me play a game called find the soap he would drop the soap in the water and I would have to close my eyes and find it and would hit it behind hime so I would have to crawl over him so he would grab my waist and put his fingers near you know what and he would put it in between his legs so I would go to grab it and he would move my hand to his thing and he would move my hand around it and that's not all he would lock me in my grandmas bedroom and he would tell her we were going to play hockey or something and we would be in there and he would make me undress and he would fuck me wich didn't feel good and he would pin me down and make me suck him off and he said if I told anyone what he was doing he would kill my family wich is a 6/7 year old I believed this went on for 2 years until I stopped staying at my nans I will never forget those 2 years but is it bad that now it makes me hard?

1. What was the name of the nanny cam in the opening scene? Fuzzy Cuddle Bear

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1. What did Charles think was on the cleaning lady's chin? Flan

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1. What was the old captains name? McGintley

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04.What was Terrys name at the 1-8? Terry Titties...follow up - Why was he named that? Because he had large titties
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1. How does Jake wear his first tie? Around his stomach

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06.What ice cream did Jake get for Holt? Hazelnut
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07.What is Ratkos nickname? The butcher and the rat
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08.What department does Jake get put in charge of? Records room
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09.Who throws their vest on wrong when they storm the storage unit? Jake
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1. Where is Jakes speedo in the last scene? Inside of him

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Hope you guys have fun with this. I will be doing an episode a day until reddit kills 3rd party apps like RIF. But lets go out with a bang!

I honestly don't know how to start this, I have too many things to say and very few words to express them. If you are reading this it is because I am dead, because I disappeared from your life or because I entrusted this to you, leaving it up to you whether to read it or not.
Many times, speaking of serious stuff, I told you not to feel obliged to read, that you could skip the conversation and that it was fine. Not this time, I ask you to read all of it, I ask that you only read it and not share what is in these letters. Although obviously you are within your rights to do so.
Of all the people in my life, you will probably be the one who will receive my longest death letter. I have too much to write to you. So I'm afraid this letter will end up being too short because it would mean that the biggest and my favorite connection I've ever made with another human being can be summed up in less than an hour of reading.
It seems strange to me to think that you could be reading this in a very distant future where we are no longer a part of each other's lives. One where you might even have forgotten who I am.
Well, getting to the point, in case you are somewhat like me in that maybe you are not convinced of something nice no matter how many people tell you, I want to make it clear to you. At the time I write this we have known each other for 7 years, and for 5 years I have considered you the best friendship I ever had in my life. I very much doubt that anything will change this and if in 10, 15 or more years I can continue seeing you often, talking about things that happened to us and laughing about a show we like, it would make me very happy.

 Friendship 

When I met you, you didn't really stand out to me much, I don't think I would have ever imagined how much our relationship could develop. You were just one of the group of those who got into technical school late. I remember that with T we called you rocket girl because your hair was green like a Tristana skin :p.
Over time you formed a group with T and Tr while I wandered around the classroom looking for a place where I could sit. I was never afraid to join your group, even if they said you were toxic and whatnot. You never gave me that impression.
I think it was the first time in my life that I felt so accepted by those I decided to call friends. You, more than anything, I can't describe the sense of the peace that you made me feel after those years where, one after the other, those who were my so-called friends ended up making me hate myself. I really liked being your friend and I would repeat the experience as many times as possible. I enjoyed every moment you let me come over to your house for lunch, growing up sitting together on a school desk day after day. It makes me feel happy to know that during all those years we spent talking about anything that could entertain us or about some hypothetical moral conflict, you saw me as a true friend. I always had that voice in my head that repeated to me that, deep down, you didn't like me or you'd just get tired of me.
I'm glad I can look back and know now how much you trusted me, always opening up and letting me paint my words, advice, comfort and affection in your mind. I smile every time I remember the difference of how I felt being your friend to what I lived since elementary school.
Words are not enough to express how much I appreciate you and how much I treasure all the mornings, afternoons and nights that we've spent together laughing, complaining, talking, studying, growing, living.
I was thinking of giving you this for your birthday, but I think it would be too much. Despite how long we've known each other and how close we ended up being, I don't remember ever giving you a gift. If I tell you the truth, sometimes I feel like it's because I don't think I can give you something you deserve, something that can make you happy for at least a few minutes, and it scares me to think that you might end up hating something that I give you.
You are an important part in most of my best memories. Playing and talking on the patio of your house, caressing Dana or laughing with your brothers. Walking through the corridors of the school and using recess to take advantage of the tranquility of the library. The conversations that could last for hours, at your house or mine, sitting in class or on the way out, by call or message. Sometimes I miss that feeling when I saw you arrive and decided to sit with me, because it meant that you enjoyed spending time with me, in the same way that I enjoyed spending time with you.
"Thank you for putting up with me" you wrote in a note that you left in my letter for the future from fourth year, as if it were something difficult, as if your presence was not something nice that made my days happy. I should thank you for everything. Thank YOU for putting up with ME, for being my friend, for paying attention to the bullshit I say and for letting it occupy so much of your life. Thanks A.
🐞Para A🐞 If you're reading this shortly after I wrote it, I guess you already noticed, but I haven't stopped liking you for a day since the end of third year. You are the person I liked the most, although you already know that.
It's wrong that I feel like this, I really feel that there is something wrong for me to continue thinking like this after knowing that my feelings lead to nothing. I wish I could try to stop liking you by force, but after knowing that you used to like me and after kissing you, I see it as impossible. Twice I tried and failed.
When the pandemic began I assumed that when we returned to regularity I would not feel the same, and I assumed wrong. When seventh year began, I felt guilty for not having been able to "get over you" and I was afraid that I would make you uncomfortable or that you would find out and think that I didn't value you just as my friend.
When you got with J I thought that might be it, but no. And I blamed myself for feeling that way about you when you were in a relationship.
It's stupid and pathetic, but having had to spend every day next to you two hurt me. I never hated your relationship, but out of my selfishness I distanced myself from the group. I tried everything to distract myself and accept that I would never be able to be with you.
2022 When I started uni I thought that maybe I would meet someone who would make me forget how I felt. For a while I tried to convince myself that I liked Dia. It was logical, right? If we got along so well and I saw her daily. I love her a lot, but I didn't get to see her like this. There was a time in my life where I questioned if I really liked women or the idea of ​​romance with a person just because I had no interest in anyone other than you. But that wasn't right, was it? If you were someone I was going to like for a while, a few months at the most. Sometimes I think that everything would be easier if I'd never had these emotions tied to your existence.
Around September we started talking again like before, and we hung out often and I hated not being able to just be your friend, wanting something more. I felt that I was betraying you, and I couldn't try to "get away and stop talking to you" because I didn't want to, I don't want to and I won't ever want that. I don't like to think of a future where the years go by and you are no longer part of my life.
When you told me that you still remembered when I told you that I liked you, I felt like I was going to die until you said that you remembered it as something nice. I imagined many reactions to that, but never that one. I used to feel guilty for a while. I really believed that since that day I had started to bother you every time we hugged or when we hung out. I was glad to know that all along it was all in my head and that you were not disgusted or annoyed by it.
The day you told me you used to like me I had to stop everything I was doing and sit down. I started to look at some trees and I was on the verge of crying. You had filled my head with so many thoughts at the same time that they seemed to form a kind of white noise that pretended to be silence for the minutes that I was immobile.
Once I calmed down, I was able to allow myself to feel and think about different things, but if I didn't feel something, it was hope, because you were with J and I knew it was a very nice relationship and you loved each other. I think if I had felt that way I would have completely hated myself.
I spent entire days insulting myself in my head "I'm an idiot", "how come I didn't realize it?", "why the hell did I reject a kiss from you?! If all that time it was what I wanted the most". I think I had gotten so used to not having experience in loving and being loved in this way that I had resigned myself to being like this for the rest of my life. You yourself repeated to me several times that I lacked love and yoeyweren't wrong haha, I just wish you were the one who could give it to me. I have blinded myself my entire life in a cloak of hate, convincing myself that I am unworthy of love, that there is no way anyone would like me or see me as cute or be attracted to me. Because I'm obviously boring, I have no personality, my voice is ugly, my face and body are disgusting, and so on. By closing my eyes all my life I lost the opportunity to have the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me. I wish I hadn't blinded myself.
And your messages did nothing more than open my eyes.
"I wonder why I liked you then if you're just funny, kind, understanding, attentive and sweet"
I would never have described myself like that, for as long as I can remember I haven't had a good image of myself. Seeing that from your eyes, I was that, made me very happy. Knowing not only that someone could see me that way but also that that someone was you, that made it more special for me.
"I wish I could have been with you to erase those thoughts with kisses"
I read the latter in a notification while in class. I couldn't concentrate and I think if someone had seen me I would have been red faced. I think those weeks I used the library more to read your messages over and over again than to study.
The point is that your messages erased many of my negative thoughts. With two days of your kisses and almost a month of your affection, you have erased a lot. If I could have been with you, I know that I would be the happiest person in the world.
Diciembre 2022
I got really confused in December. When you broke up with J at no time did I feel hopeful or anything like that. On the contrary, I didn't understand how you had come to that solution after everything I'd told you. You had just gotten out of a year-long relationship and obviously you were going to be damaged and confused. I didn't want to "take advantage" of you, so I just lived day to day with doubts.
At one point I tried to calm you down while you said that no one else was ever going to love you. My throat burned wanting to tell you "what about me?", "I want to love you" but the idea was to help you and not think about myself.
Maybe if I had made more selfish decisions I would be where I want to be with you, but I don't know if I would be happy with how I got there.
I remember that years ago I stayed to sleep at your house, before going to the attractions park, and you woke me up seeing me with such a slight but genuine smile. That day I wasn't sure what I had felt and I wasn't going to be able to understand it until recently.
We hung out more often in December, sleeping together, separated by a pillow, until one day I fell asleep while we were watching Howl. I woke up early while you were still asleep and saw your face glued to mine. Half asleep, I didn't even think about it, but I knew what I wanted the most at that moment, and I hugged you before going back to sleep almost instantly. That's when I felt again what I felt a few years ago, the happiness of seeing your face when waking up. And then you woke me up by pulling me closer, hugging me and using my chest as a pillow. You made me feel wanted.
Being able to sleep holding you felt like something that was missing from my life but I had no way of knowing what it was until then. The warm breeze of your breath on my face or chest, your arms squeezing my body and our embraced legs, the little jumps you hit in your sleep from time to time and the smell of your hair. It feels weird to describe it, it might even make you a little disgusted, but it was something that made it feel like I had rested for twelve hours even though we slept for one.
The day of the World Cup final I left your house after celebrating and you told me what you told me, and we talked about it the next day in the park. I was paralyzed.
Despite the times that I repeated the same thoughts in my head, I couldn't convince myself that surely that only happened because you missed him, that it was childish to get excited and think that you felt that way just because it was me. I guess I was a little stupid, but I was tired of living up to this miserable point in my life, never even having kissed anyone. And having the opportunity to be the person with whom I most wanted to experience everything for the first time (and if life went my way, the last) filled me with joy.
Noche buena
On the 23rd I went to your house having discussed what we had discussed, knowing that I could tell you that I wanted to kiss you, that what I wanted most since fourth year was to kiss you and only you. And... You beat me to it hahaha. You asked me if I would mind if you kissed me, in my mind I laughed knowing that I wouldn't mind at all. That I would like a kiss from you every day until I die. Accepting felt like making up for my mistake of turning you down in fifth year.
The following afternoon what happened happened and I don't know how to describe it, I felt somewhat privileged. I remember once telling you, when you were criticizing your legs and your body, that "I only saw 70% of your body, but I'm sure it's very pretty", and obviously it's okay that you have insecurities but for two days I was able to see you almost completely. and I realized that all the little things that gave you insecurity were beautiful. I don't understand how you hate things that I loved from the very moment I saw.
I think you are a beautiful being, in every millimeter of you, in every gram of your soul and in every second that I shared with you. And you may be beautiful but I don't like you just for that nor did I start to like you just because of how you look. There is something in you and I don't know what it is, but when we talk I want to keep talking to you more and more. Your voice is very beautiful; your expressions and your way of speaking; your laughter. God your laugh, the happiness it gives me to see you and hear you laugh is incredible. I know it doesn't make sense, but sometimes I feel like I love everything about you. I love your humor and the natural way we talk to each other, how affectionate you are, the way you balance between being someone calm and releasing a lot of energy that you had accumulated. I love your tastes in what you decide to see or read, because, although they do not always coincide with mine, they make you someone who interests me a lot. All without mentioning the little things that make you you, like your habits with food, how you spend your time, the difference between the music we listen to. I love when you react with a sticker or you're speechless to something nice that escaped my mouth and I ended up telling you. I love how candid you are about how you see the world and how you convey it. The tone of your voice and the noises you make when explaining something. How you close your eyes a little when I annoy you jokingly and your sarcasm when you annoy me. Sometimes a while goes by that we don't see each other or talk and when I hear your voice again it's as if I had forgotten it and fell in love with it again.
I don't have many photos of you, at most a couple of the ones you sent me and most of them don't show your face. But I treasure them because I can see even if it's your hair for a while and remember when I could caress it while you lay on my chest. When I see you again in person I am surprised again by how beautiful you are. By your smile and your way of being.
If there is something I want more than anything in the world, it is to be able to be yours, to be able to spend my life day by day knowing that I can kiss you and that I can admire you carefully without shame until you realize it. Knowing that you love me and that I love you, being able to sleep in each other's arms and being able to say with a smile that we are a couple. But I can not. And it would be so easy to cut you out of my life to stop feeling that way, get myself a new set of friends, and like someone I don't feel that way about. But I love being your friend, and I can't bear the thought of losing the greatest friendship of my life just to forget that I liked you for so long. If I disappeared from your life... What would you do? Or rather, what would you feel? If you knew that I exist and that I'm still alive where I always was, but we didn't talk or see each other anymore, what would you think of me? I just hope you understand that if I do something like this it's because I can't stand being in love with you anymore without having any conclusion.
It hurts so much to know that you don't feel the same way I feel about you. If you read this while I'm still alive, it may make you uncomfortable from now on, as well as you may not feel anything reading all this, which would be worse. I think that if something would destroy me it would be to be invisible to you, that these nights writing with tears in my eyes are just a piece of paper that doesn't cause you the slightest feeling.
When you told me you were back together with J I cried for the first time in a long time. And it wasn't enough because I continued like this without sleeping for several nights on the coast. I feel a little bad about that, it's not right to feel bad because two people make up and love each other. Since we're never going to be together, all I have to do is focus on stopping feeling that way about you.
It must be very strange for you to read all of this and I apologize, especially if it's a few years in the future. I just wanted to make sure you really know how I felt, to die with no regrets. Although if I had one left, it would be dying without being able to be with you.
If the day comes when we don't talk to each other anymore and the days go by and you forget my existence, or I'm no longer alive, I want you to know that almost since I met you you were my favorite person. Just seeing you made my days happy, hearing you talk, laugh or send me a video or photo about anything you do, gave me life. You never bothered me, I never hated you or got tired of you. Every memory that I have by your side I keep as a treasure and I hate the idea of ​​losing your presence in my life. If when I am old I suffer from dementia I pray so that the last thing I forget is you. If I'm grateful for anything in this life, it's for having met you.
I saw someone say that we should choose those who choose us, and I started to wonder if you would choose me. If you could only spend time with someone again and never see anyone in the world again would you choose me? I assume not, and I accept that. But I know that I wouldn't hesitate for a second to choose you, I would spend every second of my life with you. If my vision is taken away and I could only see one thing, I would choose you. If I found out that I only have one day to live, I would spend it with you, and when I close my eyes for the last time, when I take my last breath, if only I were by your side, I would die in peace.
Dia says that I don't like you, that I'm in love. At first it made me laugh because it sounds so stupid and sweet but I don't know, every day that passes I feel like it's the best I have to describe it. Sometimes I think that I have no right to have these immature feelings. But I guess it's normal not to be able to let you go if at nineteen I experienced for the first time what a normal person does at fourteen. Someone not so pathetic and desperate for love, your love, like me. Someone who at this stage of my life has already learned that you have to let go of those who can't love you. But I don't want to stop loving you, in my grave I'll keep thinking about you.
You once told me that the only person whose absence you wouldn't get used to if they left your life was me. I don't know why you thought I deserved to hear something so nice. And before reading that message I never wanted so much to repeat your own words to you.
It was recently the first time that I was able to tell you that I love you, and you me. It was only by text when you said hello to me on my birthday, but no matter the context I appreciate it for the power I give to that word. I feel that even though we have said the same thing, they did not have the same weight behind them. I know you never loved me nor will you love me the way I wanted to, but really, thank you very much for loving me all these years. Since I met you, you filled my days with a warm light that could turn a bad day into one of the best.
I find it curious that at this point in my life I consider you my best friend, the person closest to me and one of the most important people for my existence, you are almost like a pillar in my life. And yet, as much as I know about you, from time to time I feel like a stranger, as if I have only scratched the surface of who you are. And that only makes me want to meet you and discover you completely day by day, having spent 60 years with you and still being able to discover a crumb of your being, but smile every time I get to know you more.
Someday I wish I could be in the position and time to ask you if you still want to know what would have happened if we hadn't been so clumsy and ended up together, because there isn't a single day where I don't want to know.
It's so hard for me to accept that surely you'll never want to be with me again. That you don't see me the same way anymore, because it would mean that you never came to want me the same way that I want you. It's been more than five years since you entered my head and never left it, my heart flutters with shame or emotion just thinking about you.
Thanks for everything. Thank you for being my friend, for putting up with me, for not being disgusted by me and hugging me and telling me you loved me. Thank you for making me realize that beautiful things can happen to me, like being able to spend time with you, hugging and kissing you, being able to witness and share your existence.
It's weird because it feels unfair to think that I can go into a relationship knowing that I can only imagine myself wanting to be with you. That's why unconsciously I think I'm not looking for one, and I'm waiting for you. As much as it hurts me, I wait for you and I could wait for you for months, years, decades and I would still think of you. Because you are the person I want to hear laugh every day, you are the person with whom I want to share both our joy and our pain. I want you to be part of my soul and leave a mark of mine in yours. I want you to be happy and part of growing up is accepting that it doesn't have to be me and that I should be glad you find that in someone else but please God why can't it be me? I don't know if I'll be enough or if I'll be what you're looking for, but I'd love to try to be.
How many times have I told you that I really liked Hime's playlist. It's because most of the songs are about love and although I don't know what that feels like, they all reminded me of you. Every time someone talked about couples or something similar I could only imagine you.
You showed me a song, "amigo triste", which according to you reminded you of me. God knows how long I had it on loop because it was one of the few things I had to give me an idea of ​​who I am from your eyes.
I imagine that with time I'm going to mature and I'm going to truly accept that I can't want you if it doesn't lead to anything. But I would like you to know that in another life you are the best thing that happened to me. In another life, I would be more than happy just knowing that at the end of the day I can spend my time with you, that I live my life with you in its most mundane parts and in its most interesting parts.
In the meantime, I hope you are as happy as possible in this life. And if you don't mind… I love you

Hello to everyone on here.
Binge watching old SVU because I need to catch up before I can dive in to the recent season.
There's so many tv shows that I couldn't catch up to all of them, so now, I'm slowly but steadily watching every ep until I reach the current one.
I'm on season 15, ep 2: American Tragedy.
This was the episode after Olivia came back from her terrible ordeal with William Lewis.In this ep, there's this boy Mehcad who died after a celebrity "Jolene" shot him because she thought he was going to rape her.
So, the detectives found out that maybe this was a hate crime, and Mehcad was falsely accused by Jolene.
Fin said something that Mehcad is a fan of Jolene and wanted to her autograph.
But what I want to know is: Why the heck would somebody want to get an autograph from a celebrity at night, in the dark, and acting sus and following someone like a stalker??? It does not make sense to me.
I don't think it matters what race they are...if I "felt" in my gut that someone's been following me in the dark and especially wearing their hoodie in a way that you couldn't really see their face, I'd be alarmed and fearful for my life.
Towards the end, Jolene met with Olivia by accident in the washroom. They had words. Olivia said, "He wasn't a rapist. He was just a boy" ---- but how many cases they had where they put away boys that committed a crime?? There were several. So, it doesn't follow what she said.
Mehcad could be totally innocent. But from the defense side, I agree with them. The race here doesn't matter. Mehcad fit the description of the suspect---young black male in a hoodie. What stood out to me was the hoodie. I know it's common and everybody wears this... but if you're alone in the dark, and you feel somebody following you, wearing something in which you couldn't see them clearly, wouldn't you feel fear, too?
the most unfortunate thing for Mehcad is that he was walking alone in the dark in a hoodie. Not because he's black (or not), but because that's what they described the suspect.
And Jolene didn't have any history of shooting black males, like her employees. Sure, she had bad things to say about them, but she never shot them.
This was self-defense to me. Probably the only case so far in which I disagree with the SVU detectives.
Any thoughts similar to mine? or any other perspective?

posting this again cuz i still need help and ppl see my post but are not helping 😞
my brother told me reddit might have answers so here i am.
so basically i was trying to link my epic games acc to my fortnite account, so i went to epic games and linked my xbox account, but after that it automatically logged me out. i logged in again and it took me to an account i didn't know existed where i even had my ex bf added 💀. i unlinked my xbox account to try to fix it and then it logged me out again and when i tried to log in it asked me to link an account, i skipped it and my xbox basically made a whole new account and won't let me put my old one. i really need help cuz my bf literally bought me the battle pass and i already have stuff there so i don't want to lose it. so yeah.
i even made a new xbox account to try and log into my account but it just says "failed to log in" or whatever it is in english cuz i have my fortnite in spanish lol.
if anyone knows how to fix it please lmk and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or sum cuz english is not my first language as you may have guessed 😀.

Previous major protests by subreddits have involved setting a subreddit to 'private', explaining the decision to do so in the field that permits you to enter the reason you did so- as some subreddits already have.
We're deeply grateful for their support- but there is a better way. Since the last time private subs were used to conduct a major protest, Reddit admins have changed how private subs work somewhat: rather than having that explanation of what's going on with the sub be visible in the app, this is what it looks like when searching for /TwoSentenceHappiness on the app: it's as if the subreddit had simply been erased, with only search results for the related non-private subreddit /twosentencehappy showing up.
This isn't as visible as it can be, and there's a better solution. Rather than going private, those participating in the protest to keep Reddit from killing third party apps are encouraged to make a sticky announcing their sub's participation in the protest, then set up the following two rules in AutoModerator:

type: submission action: remove moderators_exempt: false comment: /SUBREDDITNAME is going dark FOR JUNE 12TH AND 13TH/INDEFINITELY, to protest Reddit killing 3rd party apps. [Click here](https://old.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/) to find out more. --- type: comment action: remove moderators_exempt: false comment: /SUBREDDITNAME is going dark FOR JUNE 12TH AND 13TH/INDEFINITELY to protest Reddit killing 3rd party apps. [Click here](https://old.reddit.com/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/) to find out more. 

That doesn't discriminate by time automatically, so mods will have to manually add the rules when it's time and manually remove them when done protesting. And obviously, you'll need to change the bits in all caps: AutoModerator doesn't automatically replace /SUBREDDITNAME with your subreddit's actual name, nor does it choose how long your mod team has agreed to protest for you!
If you haven't set up AutoModerator in your sub at all, it's easy: click here for a how-to guide.

I had to replace my TrueNAS web UI cert as the old one was expiring. No matter how many times I restart `middleware` and `nginx` after updating the cert, it refuses to apply the new cert.
Is there no other way to update the cert beyond a hard reboot?