At this point i dont care about the test results but if its gonna help, most of my results were infp/enfp and the functions seem pretty fitting most of the time. The confusing thing is, ive also gotten istj and estj results, along with intp- one test even gave me an "unclear" result and my fi and te were both %90 like god damn. Anyways, I'll try my best to explain myself.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. -I'm a minor, trying to study for uni but im kinda failing. Female. I would say i dream a lot and desire an idealistic life and self, trying to achieve goals. I'm also incredibly stubborn, according to my family members and most of my friends. In both a good and a bad way. I'm gonna be honest, sometimes i continue defending myself even after realizing that im wrong, and that sucks. But i can change that into ambition, as well. I cant stand injustice and undeserved actions. It immediately triggers me the moment i hear something stupid and unfair, and i cant stand but say something. Dont care if theyre talking about me or a stranger, ill still stand up for them or myself. I also realized that i often think about things as "deserved/undeserved". But ofc i dont use it all the time. "deserving" something sounds subjective Continuing here bc idk where else to put this -I show love and care by defending, protecting, spending time with people, doing things for them and helping them. I would love to help my friends improve, like i would prepare proper notes and studying papers before exams to help them understand something in their own way. If they asked me for help about something that i know well, i would give them my best. I also like giving small gifts and baking things for them from time to time. They cant understand that its how i show love though. For me, i enjoy how different people can be. Even if someone doesnt show direct love to me or love me in my way, i see the love and care in their little, unique actions and it makes me so happy tbh, like its so wholesome. (except the times when im being delusional and too soft)
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? -Well not anymore? I used to have a severe anxiety disorder (selective mutism if thats gonna help- probably not) but that was like when i was, seven. I'm still prone to anxiety though. • Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? -my dad passed away when i was 7 so i live with my older brother and mother. After my dads passing i developed some anger issues, and i already had anxiety at that time so i had to get therapy and meds for like 5 years. My mom is somewhat religious, so i was raised Muslim, i am still one.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I mean of course i dont just yet, but im planning to work or do something else that would bring money. I want to make money since i cant live my life the way i want right now, because of economic problems. • If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? I would love it. I dont feel lonely that much, i like spending my time alone. Though i have courses and classes on weekends, i go out but i dont usually interact with people. • What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? No. I dont like sports or am not really interested in them, at least not outdoors. I used to take many different courses when i was really little, like karate, swimming, ballet.. I enjoy variety and these type of activities but not sports like basketball or running etc you get it- I'd like to learn martial arts though. I definitely prefer indoor activities. I like making stories with my friends and designing. I also love watching true crime shows or videos. I like anime and manga but i rarely watch them regularly, when i do i binge watch. I also spend my time talking to friends, discovering random new things and worrying about procrastinating- • How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? lmao, my curiosity is hell for others. I have lots of random thoughts and questions, mostly conceptual. I can be curious about pretty much anything, so its hard to specify. My ideas can be about a story, character, person, reality, i dunno, anything. I remember when i was making a really random story with one of my friends- it was really creative and my mind was full of great ideas and it filled me with hope, happiness, energy and hype. Like i was so damn happy and bubbly at that time because i LOVE it when i get good ideas nonstop. It's so energizing, i can also get inspired from like, really random and little things (like a pigeon flying, literally). I can look at an object and design a whole character just by looking around, sometimes i get too hyped and inspired that i cant stop thinking of new characters, designs, plots- so thats one of the best feelngs ever for me, i really like designing unique characters for the same reason. I can also be like.. Hella random and im annoyingly so easy to distract. Sometimes i even forget what i was saying mid sentence, like i have so many thoughts that when im saying a sentence im also thinking about what im gonna say next, but then i end up forgetting everything- even the sentence i was saying and how it was related to the other sentence. This is not a general thing, but its been happening quite a lot lately.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? that really depends- if its something that im good at, something that i know well, i think i would be good at it. I try to improve myself and others and their lives so if someone ever needs guidance i would try to come up with different solutions and try my best to help them achieve something. Depending on the situation, i would regularly observe and talk to others to detect problems or see how everythings going. I'd try to help people improve and discuss solutions or their opinions. Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? Thats kind of hard to answer.. Honestly the only thing i do with my hands is drawing and typing. As i said i like designing new characters etc, but other than that i feel like i mostly cant do much or well?.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. People tell me i am, but i dont feel artistic. For me an artistic person has more depth or value in their art, like they put something into it. It has a meaning. My art mostly consists of characters and stories. i cant understand how people can express their emotions through art, i really envy it though- I dont think i can do that.. Sometimes i can get inspired by my emotions but that usually ends up in me making more characters or stories. I like to give my characters/stories a concept or a message, but i can never make a single picture with a meaning, or express myself with a single picture or poem. I think that's really fascinating. and I enjoy any forms of art honestly, but music would be the only one that almost always can make me feel something, can give a message to me and feels actually meaningful, which is why i want to learn it. Its also great for some new ideas.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? The past.. is, the past. It can be a big burden sometimes but you can still get over it and learn a lesson from it. Its important. And also -i am strongly connected to it. I'm often nostalgic and i like thinking about the past. There are specific memories that i hold dear and remember very clearly, and the common thing they have is feelings. Moments when i was feeling something strongly, are like yesterday. I like thinking about them, it kinda makes me emotional ngl but i guess thats a human thing? But like, i remember lots of things and details about those moments and i miss them a lot. I even sometimes wear the same clothes, eat the same thing, talk to the same friend or read old messages on the same day that memory happened. Idk, its like, painful but also enjoyable. I even miss the times when i was suffering- there just has to be valued moments, precious feelings and connection to that moment and ill remember that forever. I want to go to the same place, at the same hour with the same people sometimes. Even wear similar clothes maybe. So basically i have some memories that i hold dear to myself and theyre all connected to how i was feeling at that moment. Present.. I usually forget present even exists. Dont have much to say about it. Future can be terrifying but also exciting. Its kind of a source of hope sometimes. And when its stressing, i try to go with the flow because i cant change anything. I try to let things just happen. However if i do have a control over it, ill try to use that to my advantage.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? Unless the person is a disgusting creature and im busy, id gladly help them. I mean, it wont harm to just make some things better. Only if im fine with their request though, if i feel like i cant do it or handle it i probably wont do it.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? To some degree, yes. Since life is life, nothing will be consistent all the time but i definitely prefer it, doesnt mean that i cant survive without it though. I don't really know how to answer this in any other way.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? I try to solve problems in efficient ways, yes. But honestly.. It's so god damn hard to get motivated or not get distracted. Like i have no energy, zero motivation and will. I find it really hard to take action and be actually productive, which is why i wish i had someone in my life that could push me a little. I started taking action with very small steps but that took me like, 3 years☠️I'm a huge procrastinator, very disorganized as well. But i think with just a little push and support id be fine- I find value and meaning in them, i might not be the best at being productive but im always trying to improve that.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? i think i tend to do that. Its mostly because im worried for others and their mental health and well being. (explained it in another paragraph) Also because i want their life to be better. Or in some cases i kind of try to control people and make them do things based on what i think is right. I'm talking about responsibilities lmao.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? I like thinking n dreaming- its an enjoyable and meaningful way to spend time. as i listed i also like watching videos -mostly about crime- designing drawing discovering new stuff etc. Also making scenarios in my head, its really enjoyable to me. The type of things i watch can be completely different and unrelated. One day im watching a video about brain structure and for the rest of the week im binge watching true crime stories. I like the mystery and learning the progress of solving crimes, im basically attracted to the progress, i think.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? I mostly write and take notes, i find that to be really helpful. I also try to watch videos about whatever im learning, but class environment is usually stressing+distracting for me. I prefer to study by myself in a social environment. Like libraries, maybe? Theres people around but everyones quiet, itd be easier for me to focus. I cant focus well if the environment is noisy and distracting or if somethings going on, its really hard. I really suck at classes that involve logic, dont really like physical senses either. I'm good with memorization and creativity.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? honestly i dont think ive ever had the chance to do something like that so i dont know my potential for this one. When i want things to be easier, i usually break up whatever im struggling with to little tasks or information etc. So i guess it really depends.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? Self improvement and success, I have a bunch of goals. I started liking challenges, not so long ago- I've always desired to be perfect. Not your perfect, not his perfect but my perfect. My ideal self doesnt have to be extremely good at math, but has to look good, lets say. I'll try to be just fine at math and focus on looking good. That was just an example though. Everyones perfect is subjective and my definition of perfect, or more like my "ideal" self isnt that impossible to achieve, so im trying to be my ideal self to live an ideal life. I also want to learn lots of different stuff. I really love the potential our brains has, and i want to use it. Like everyhing is somehow interesting to some degree. I wanna see different places, experience different cultures, people, languages. I also want to learn different languages, theyre pretty important to me. Knowledge itself is important and valuable to me so i get a bit annoyed when someone has the "idc about other information who cares" attitude. I also want to study psychology as i was always interested in it even as a kid. By time that turned into criminology/ forensic psychology but i still find all of them interesting. I just want to do what i want and do things that are true to me.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? I guess my fear would be not living the life that i desire. My expectations are important for me and its my priority, not others expectations. I'm also scared of being exposed, ig. I really get uncomfortable whenever something triggers me, which usually happens by forcing me and my privacy, i panic a lot and that usually results in me acting aggressive- I hate having to talk about things that i dont like talking about. (i swear this isnt unrelated) I am a pretty empathetic person. Sometimes i feel like I can feel exactly what others are feeling, its just so intense and i can understand others easily too. It's like- when i see someone in a certain situation i try to figure out what they might be thinking or feeling, i think of many different possibilities but i can usually stick with one or two possibility. It's also pretty easy for me to figure out how one can get affected by certain situations or thoughts, if i know the person well. By time i figure people out and while i do that, i also find myself analyzing what they might be thinking, then how their feelings might get influenced by their previous thought, and how they might act on that. And im mostly not wrong. I am almost constantly observing and trying to understand people- the ones i care for. Now why? I've realized that i only do this to people who are close to me. Most of my friends and surroundings are not doing mentally well (at all) so it can be a little hard for me to deal with their emotions because even if they dont show it i still see it somehow and it apparently triggers my overprotective side. I didnt even know i was protective until people told me so. I thought it was normal. I'm not gonna talk too much about it since it got better and its not unhealthy as much, so im just gonna list some general traits that i have towards people around me. Since i can understand them easily i also know whats gonna hurt them or make them feel "something". Some people around us can be careless and i know that it might cause them harm so im always on guard if they ever get hurt or if someone tries to hurt them. I'm basically too scared to let them get hurt and heal by themselves because i just cant trust them. I cant trust people with their emotions because from what ive seen, many people just cant handle their emotions. People cant understand their emotions and it does nothing but harm. I'm afraid that they might not be capable of getting over things so i always have an eye on them, try to control things around me etc. And when i cant "protect" them, and they fall, i always think/feel like the worst is going to happen but everything mostly turns out fine- It's mostly caused by my distrust in others, i know. This trait of mine would exhaust me to a harming degree because i was always worrying about others well being because i know for sure that their mental health isnt fine. Now I'm actually better though. (just as a note, "others" here are not random people or a group of people, just individuals who are close and dear to me.)
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? honestly i dont know. everything is mostly the same or it just feels like it. which is why i want a change. But if i have to answer, it would be the times when things were calm and everything was smooth. Just peace. But if the reality were different, id say "when i achieved whatever i wanted and could feel at least a bit more free and satisfied with myself", That didnt happen just yet so yeah.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? When everyone around me is too much. When i cant handle everyones feelings and negativity, when it makes me nervous and causes me to lack focus which is already something i struggle with. Times when people make things harder, when i try my best to keep calm but theres always someone to bother me just for fun. High temper really sucks.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I would say im pretty attached to reality, just in a different way. An example i can give- Although i like daydreaming (i am usually not aware of my surroundings-), creativity n artistic n all that stuff, i still can get myself back to reality pretty easily. This is actually a new thing for me, because i wasnt always like this. But i always had the ability to understand my emotions, reality and what might not/might be real. A few years back i was struggling a lot, specifically with anxiety and mental health. But whenever i felt those "negative emotions", i also knew that this was just how i was feeling and my feelings werent the reality. "Right now I'm feeling this way, but that might not be the reality. I shouldnt confuse my feelings with objective reality.". So that actually made it easier to be open to others opinions about me. I'm glad that i had/have that mindset, but even if i dont expect everyone to be like me, it can be really frustrating to watch others be too subjective. At first i was understanding, empathetic, kind. I understood that everyone had their own phases and everyone was different. I still do understand it, but i cant stand it anymore. Idk, like right now at some times i feel like people are just really too sensitive, and its so hard and frustrating to watch. Seeing, observing and dealing with specific type of people for just a few years actually changed me a lot. I generally care about reality itself, not whats going on around me though. + extra bc i have stuff to share I'm much more solution oriented when facing problems now. I hate constant complaints and doing nothing, i hate when people are always complaining about something, always crying and sitting but not doing anything about it to solve it, not taking responsibility of themselves and their life. Crying about how bad life is, or how they suck. That sht really triggers me sometimes. I really want to be harsh at times but i still know that theyre also struggling and hurting someone important is the last thing i wanna do so usually, i surprisingly share my opinions calmly with them. Yes, im boiling with rage inside and i want to punch everyone in that moment, but i can keep calm and give them advices on what they can do, indirectly.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? Anything that comes to my mind. Anything that id like to discuss with myself. I would even talk out loud, or i would just think about the past or make some weird scenarios in my head and laugh at my own jokes lol. • How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? it really depends again- im indecisive most of the time. If i know my direction and what i truly want, i wouldnt spend a huge amount of time into it. I probably wouldnt change my mind either. But if im still unsure and indecisive, if i also find it reasonable enough, i could change my mind. But in general when im trying to make a decision, because i see and value each option, it gets hard. Option A has this, Option B has that blah blah both of them are great, so which one should i choose? When im stuck i try to list the pros and cons and if i find the list convincing enough, i choose the best option. If im still indecisive, i just.. Choose one, literally. Or ask for help to get others perspectives on the topic, or even let them decide sometimes. • How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? Emotions are just as important as logic. I'm good at dealing with my emotions and even when it feels unbearable, i let myself feel everything and let the feelings flow. After that it really gets better. I usually know what im feeling or how something affected my emotions but i only think about them deeply once im alone, so i can focus on myself. I care a lot about objectivity, responsibilities and logic, Like a lot. But i actually just try to find balance. -the real problem here. How i scored %90 te and fi. So my decision on something really highly depends on the situation, questions like "how do you make decisions? logic or inner values uwu?" is really hard. Both. Sometimes i use my values, what i think is right and what feels right. Sometimes i use objectivity and logic, no matter how hard it might be. Thats why i struggle with typings most of the time. Honestly my "feelings" or "morals" value logic and my logic values feelings or inner values, whatever you call it.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? hm... I avoid directly disagreeing with them if its a sensitive topic and if i think it would be inappropriate to do so, i tell them that i understand and they got a point too (i really understand their point), then continue and tell them my personal opinion that is different from theirs and also explain the reason maybe. I try to have friendly conversations. That also depends on the person, some people are intimidating and i might not want to argue with them because it would be such a pain. If i really disagree with something and if i find the topic to be important to me, i would be honest. If its just a random conversation i try to take things easy, if its a discussion or an argument i am mostly blunt and honest about my opinions, if the conversation has to end it ends.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? again depends on the rule. I dont have anything against general rules. I dont have a problem with them if theyre right to me, if theyre nonsense, stupid or unnecessary i would definitely be bothered by it. Usually i dont break rules because why would i bother.. Theyre not too strict anyways.
I know this is long enough, but i have a few more extra things to share- you can skip it if you think this is enough
- I'm actually a pretty emotional person and i can be sensitive inside. But if you ask others, some will surprisingly say that i look cold and emotionless. Emotionless would be the last thing id be. I just keep them inside. Dont really show emotions, i mean i do but not the deep and real ones. That doesnt mean that im fake though, i just dont like expressing/talking about my feelings clearly, it kind of feels uncomfortable, sometimes embarrassing and awkward too. I like thinking about them, i like having them for myself but i usually wont show the true depth of them. I can also be sensitive, but people usually cant notice that.
-im really quick to judge. I keep my distance from others unless the environment is familiar to me. I don't have to feel particularly uncomfortable, i just dont like talking to people especially when im not close with them. Well when i do talk, i am extremely awkward that its painful. I listen to the other person, appreciate them etc but i cant find a single thing to say so i just smile or laugh awkwardly and.. try to find something normal or casual to reply with. I just suck so bad when im talking to strangers and even i if i want to start a conversation with someone, i cant because of my shyness. Having casual convos with people i dont know well is so hard and stressing sometimes, Makes me nervous and shy so i cant talk for the sake of socializing easily. I'm usually like this in social situations, however, when something has to be done i almost dont have any problems with it at all- like if i need to buy something, talk about a problem or ask for help, i can do it easily, while most of my friends are the opposite. They cant order the damn food for themselves but they can go socialize like its nothing.
-I'm easily drained. Most of the time even when im with my friends or people i love, i cant stand it sometimes. Idky i just feel very annoyed whenever someones approaching me- sometimes. If a group comes and talks to me and if im not moody at that time, ill talk with them. If they wont, i wont bother. I rarely feel energetic but when i do, its so silly.
-Like i said, i try to keep the balance in everything. If someone is feeling depressed, if no ones there to support them, id want to be there for them, even if its not the most logical decision. It might even harm me, it might be hard, but ill still try to be with them. No innocent human should feel lonely or unlovable. I'd want the same thing myself. Thinking how good it would feel like to have someones support instead of being alone if i were them, is also kinda what drives me. However if im clear that they dont want it and are uncomfortable ill just leave. Maybe others will tell me to leave it, to focus on myself. Even if im not good with people and i dont really like tiring myself too much for others, i still think in situations like these its better to do what you think is right. It just feels so wrong. Idk, if someones totally alone and suffering, i just cant stand that. Its really hard to explain since its kinda like a gut feeling. I guess its just that.. It means a lot to me?
-Or i value life in general. I dont like it when someone kills bugs or harmless creatures without thinking. Like.. is that really it? Thats a whole life. and you can just end it without even thinking? Idk if im just sensitive, but a life is a life for me. Which is why i want to help people or other beings. A life is a life, you cant change the whole world but you can change someones whole life and that means the world. Corny? Dunno, dont care. -Thats also why im so focused on self improvement and ideals, life is valuable and i dont want to waste it. I want to live my ideal life and desires
Thinking about typology is exhausting at this point lmao Some say te (or any other function) inferiors can use it only a little, some say they can develop it and use it better, some say we can use all of our main 4 functions properly. Honestly, im tired of that. I'm starting to question it, i mean i do know its just a theory and i shouldnt take it seriously but i just want a clear answer bruh?? What i learned from that is- anyone can be anything. Someone who uses their values can also be objective or take action, so theres no sense in saying that "this cant do that blah blah" I'm kinda sure that i use ne-si, i just want others opinions and different perspectives on this. I'm really doubting my type and myself at this point. I'm so sorry for this mess- i know its..uh a little too much. Thanks regardless.

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First Previous
Memory Transcription Subject: Tresn, arxur farmer
Date [Standardized Human Reckoning]: 2136–09-28
The day I learned about humans was a calm one. The sun had slid close to the horizon and with a basket of herbs and spices, I made my way back to the farmhouse where Taksak and I lived. When I arrived my mentor was waiting for me to prepare our dinner. He asked me for three portions instead of the usual two with the third one being unseasoned.
As I was going about my business, I heard a sound that caught my attention. It was the telltale noise of an airship landing in front of Taksak's farm. I hurried to the farmhouse's kitchen window to see what was going on and the reason for the third portion became clear. I saw a betterment officer stepping out of her vehicle. Her visit was out of schedule, so that means she is bringing some intel. Taksak seemed unfazed by her arrival but I was pretty sure that he was also in the dark with me.
My heart was pounding with anticipation as I returned to prepare the three portions of meals for the day. Our ancestors, blessed they are, had always emphasized the importance of plants in our lives. Some plants had medicinal properties that could cure sickness, while others could be used as seasonings to enhance the taste of our food. They taught us that there was more to food than just meat and that the plant world held great value as well.
My mind was filled with me thinking about what sort of news she was bringing today.
I finished preparing the meals and arranged the dishes on a tray. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before making my way to the dinner table where the officer had been sitting with her brother. I placed the first dish in front of my mentor first, the second dish graced the betterment officer, and last, I placed mine before I sat.
Taksak and I used a small dagger as befitting of the civilized way of our ancestors, while his sister grabbed the pieces of raw meat with her claw. We ate in silence, each of us lost in our thoughts as we savored them. The Betterment Officer, who had been quiet for most of the meal, eyed the sauce we had been dipping our meat in. Curiosity getting the better of her, she ended up trying it as well, and her face lit up with pleasure as she put the meat into her maw. As she finished her meal, she dipped her piece of meat in every bite, I suppose she approved of it.
After we finished our meal, the woman fished into her satchel and took out a data chip.
"You didn't get this from me," she explained, her voice barely above a whisper. "If you get caught with this, I will deny any involvement."
I tried not to think about what would happen if we were caught with them. Death would be the best-case scenario.
Without another word, the taciturn arxur gathered her things and left us alone in our living room.
"Tresn, bring me the reader," Taksak instructed me, his voice low and urgent.
I didn't hesitate for a moment. I ran into our bedroom and retrieved the reader that Taksak had asked for. The old device was a modified pad with its connectivity disabled. Taksak had the physical module removed, ensuring that whatever we open in that device, stays in our farmhouse. After I handed it to him, Taksak inserted the data chip into the reader and we were presented with a document on the screen.
The front page was printed in large letters saying that this document is classified. The preface of the document described that the original copy was written in ventongue, which was then translated into our speech. I recalled that when Taksak's sister last came here, she brought news about uncontacted species. Everything about the new species made more sense then. They had just attacked Gojid's core world, weakening the prey. With their Cradle left defenseless, our people swooped down.
Taksak and I huddled over the secret documents, poring over the details of the new species and their way of life. According to the text, the Federation had not tainted them with the prey's way of life, allowing them to evolve in their way. They had been able to maintain their carnivorous diet and maintain a society that was not based on violence and cruelty. Taksak seemed lost in thought. His eyes scanned the text as he absorbed the information. I could feel the wheels turning in his mind as he considered the implications of what we were reading.
The document ended with a section filled with pictures revealing these elusive creatures. Their soft features and their lack of natural weapons made them appear almost prey-like. It was as if a mad biologist had modified a prey species to have binocular vision. As we swiped through the pictures, we saw glimpses of their society and their way of life.
Seeing these species, My feelings of jealousy and longing intensified. These creatures lived in dense, vibrant settlements full of life and energy. I could almost feel the excitement of their festivals and rites, imagining myself lost in the sea of people. Despite their dense settlement, they had managed to preserve vast tracts of wilderness, filled with four-legged predators that roamed free in their natural habitats.
One obscene image, in particular, caught our attention. It showed a human feeding a predator with striped fur markings. These creatures had so much meat that they could afford to feed it to their animals. Not only that, but this new species also brought some of the predators into their civilized places, treating them almost like members of their own families. One image showed a small orange predator with pointy ears being held by a human, as though it was their child.
And then, we saw it. A photo of four-legged animals with side-facing eyes grazing on a lush green field. Cattle, I realized with a jolt. Non-sapient cattle, to be precise.
"Sir...look!" I exclaimed, nudging my mentor. "They have non-sapient cattle!"
But when I turned to face him, my excitement turned into concern. A pang of deep sadness etched his face and tears were streaming down his cheeks. For a moment, I didn't know what to do or say. I had never seen my mentor like this before.
"This...might be what we could have been," he said at last, his voice trembling with emotion. "If we had not been contacted from the sky… If we had been left to develop our way of life, perhaps we could have been like this."
The older arxur placed the reader away on the side table. He sobbed, as though a lifetime of sorrow had come crashing down upon him, and he could no longer keep his emotions in check. I could feel my own emotions flaring up in response to his grief. I reached out to offer some form of comfort. But before I could say anything, Taksak pulled me into a tight embrace and we wept, feeling the pain that we shared, a pain that was rooted in all that we had lost as a people.
Outside, our cattle slept in peace under the shade of their pen without a care in the world.
Memory Transcription Subject: Johan, human exchange program participant
Date [Standardized Human Reckoning]: 2136–10-02
We spent a few days exploring the island of Bali, and the news of the Gojids' threat faded into the background of our minds. However, our peaceful respite was short-lived because the arxurs swooped in after the Gojids' defenses were destroyed by the humans. In terror, we felt like we were leading lambs to the slaughter.
Damn if we do and damn if we don't.
The bad news didn't stop there. We also received an update from the Federation's Special Session on humans. It was revealed that almost forty species said outright that they wanted to exterminate humans.
We received letters from both UNOFA and the Office of The President of Nusantara ordering us to stay in Bali until further notice. We were trapped on the island, and the beauty of the island didn't feel enjoyable anymore. A couple of days later, the UNSC Space Force began bringing back thousands of Gojids that they had managed to save from the opportunistic invasion. Some of the rescued Gojids were still in various space stations, waiting for resettlement.
President Fatimah Lim offered Nusantara as a sanctuary for the gojid refugee. Her offer was met with mixed reactions from the public. Some applauded her compassion and generosity, while others criticized her for using the refugees as a political tool to win votes in the upcoming election.
Regardless of the motive behind the offer, the logistics of providing adequate shelter, food, and medical care for the refugees were not that challenging. Kalimantan has some open areas where the damage from the palm plantation was in the process of being rolled back and we were in process of making a new farming village near the capital. The place has a lot of greenery but not outright jungles like the rest of the Island.
Which is why we were being shipped to Kalimantan. Despite the venlil's protest, they believed that Vani could act as the healthcare provider for the refugee and provide some "familiar face" for the poor gojids.
My van has taken me to many different places over the years. I had driven it as far as Kuala Lumpur thanks to the bridges. However, our destination this time was a bit different. We were headed to an island to the north of Java where bridges don't make sense. For the first time in my life, I had to ride a ferry. I was dreading of leaving my van, but then I learned that the ship was big enough to accommodate my mobile house.
When we came near the port of Buleleng, my van informed me that the area was commandeered by the armed forces, and I sighed as my steering wheel folded out while the system asked me to drive. With my manual guidance, we arrived at the port where several armed force members already stood waiting. They noticed my van's license plate and my vehicle told me that its driving sub-system had been subsumed by the armed forces. I let them lead my vehicle to a garage on the ferry. The giant vehicle itself looked more like an aircraft with clipped wings than a boat.
To my surprise, I met the familiar faces of Lieutenant Ayu again when I got off my Van into the passenger deck. From the lavish deck, all we could look at was the monotonous water passing us at high speed. Seated on one of the comfortable couches, Vani asked why the vessel only flew a few meters above the water's surface. I admit I wasn't sure of the answer, so we did some research together. We discovered that the ferry utilized a phenomenon known as Ground Effect.
The Capital was situated beside a large river, making it easy for us to reach it by ferry. However, the journey to Kalimantan was a long one, and the ride would take overnight. The government had made arrangements for us to retire to a cabin while we rode the ship to its destination. I was surprised to find that it looked nothing like a ship cabin and more like a luxurious hotel suit. The spacious room was furnished with a comfortable bed, a cozy seating area, and a large window looking out onto the sea. I was about to remove my shirt and get ready for my venlil when the cabin's door chimed. Opening my door, a private stood in the corridor, bringing a batik suit for me to wear for the meeting with the president. The government also tailored Vani with a bespoke batik apron.
I realized that there will be a lot of photo ops, and being a politician, the president wanted everyone to look uniformed and at their best.
In the morning, we found ourselves back in my van on the shore of Balikpapan with a couple of the government's armored vehicles before and after us. They had yet to relinquish their control over my vehicle so we had no choice but to wait and follow their lead. I had been briefed earlier that we were going to meet the president at the Capital spaceport, but I still didn't know the specifics of what the meeting would entail. The drive to the spaceport was a short one and we arrived in less than an hour.
I was deposited in the middle of the spaceport. Launchpads were arrayed in grid position, with ample distance between them. Not far from us, three mobile platforms had also been parked, I presume to transport the refugees.
The president and her retinue were already there to greet us. Her attire was simple yet somehow exuded an air of extravagance. Her entire attire from the head wrap to her pants was colored deep red. A batik stole hung around her kebaya and a large eight-spoked sun pendant hung from her neck, glittering in the bright sunlight. Here we also saw other familiar faces standing beside the president such as Zara Karun, the UN Representative for Nusantara. The other people in the group were members of the president's cabinet relevant to the event, all dressed in matching batik suits similar to mine.
"Greetings Johan and Vani." she greeted us in Bahasa.
"I hope the ride here was sufficient?" President Fatimah sounded like a canteen auntie back in school that would give a bit more portion to the student. This contrasted with her business-like tone whenever she appeared in the media, and I couldn't tell which one is her actual demeanor.
"It was more than sufficient, madam president. Thank you for entrusting us here." Vani answered. "I have to warn you that I know about gojid anatomy as much as your doctors do."
"It's alright Vani. You're here to give them a familiar face."
The shuttle that carried the refugees had just landed. The door opened and a bunch of giant hedgehogs tumbled down onto the launch platform. These poor people look confused and shaken. One alien in particular, however, climbed down the platform stairs ahead of their people and ran toward us, one human armed force member hurried to shadow him. The Gojid stopped at a speaking distance and they looked at us in a very human way. They even stared at Vani for what felt a bit too long before the venlil replied with a nod.
"Greetings Humans. My name is Bolad. Thank you for hosting us here." subtitles appeared when they spoke with their tongue. Their pitch there was similar to Vani but I can't tell if that was feminine or masculine for a Gojid.
"Are they a man or woman?" I whispered to Vani.
I was hoping that the venlil could tell me, but then he just asked for everyone to hear. "Are you a man or a woman?"
I guess I assumed too much of him. If Vani has difficulty distinguishing human gender, of course, there's no reason to think that he can tell other species apart.
"I am a man. Also, as you can tell already, I am like you." He put his paw on Vani's shoulder.
"You're gay?" I blabbered without even thinking properly.
The Gojid looked at me, his face twitching before he started speaking.
"Human, I know your people are not cruel. So I will assume that there is something lost in translation here and you did not mean to ask if I am happy. My homeworld is being desecrated by ferocious predators and my family is probably dead. Happiness is a distant concept at this moment."
"He was asking if you are attracted to people of the same gender." Vani stepped in to clarify.
"That is an odd euphemism. Do you call those who are attracted to different genders 'sad'?"
The president coughed. "In any case, we are honored to host you in our land for as long as you need." She looked toward the shuttle, where the gojids are huddling around in the launchpad.
"Perhaps," the president continued "We should visit your people."
Bolad led us toward the rest of the refugees, some of which had climbed down the launchpad toward the tarmac. When we got close enough to converse with them, one of them spoke.
"What have you negotiated with them?" The gojid held a small child with them. "How much of us did you promise to them in return for our safety?"
Bolad replied with an even tone. "I have not negotiated anything with the humans," he said in a firm tone "They have agreed to protect us."
The Gojid turned their head from side to side, a gesture I never saw Vani ever do before. "And you believe them?"
"It is getting tiring to keep reminding you that humans do not eat people. Look at this venlil. He is still intact after weeks of being here."
"Yeah, but he's diseased like you." the other gojid replied, and even with only subtitles translating their speech, I can hear the venom in their intonation. "I bet they think you're honorary predators."
It dawned on me that on our first encounter, Bolad meant that both he and Vani were diagnosed with the P-word Disease. I wondered if verbal abuse like this was what he had to deal with back in his homeworld.
"I'm as much a predator as you. The amount of murder I had made is zero." I said, trying to temper my voice as I held my anger. "If we want to eat you, why do we even bother bringing you down here?" My voice got a bit shakier, but before I said something that could jeopardize the president's political career, she patted my shoulder.
I looked back and the president shook her head slightly. "Let me speak to them."
"Sorry Ma'am."
"If you want, we can arrange for you to be transferred to Venlil Prime." She added. "However, that will take time and for the time being, why don't we visit the camp we have made for you? You must be tired and hungry. Hopefully, a rest can calm you down."
The Gojids murmured amongst themselves as we guided them toward their transportation. Their voices were low and tense and despite the language barrier, I could feel their fear and suspicion.
As I suspected, the mobile platform was meant to transfer them. We didn't have the measurement of a Gojid, so instead of using buses, several moving platforms had been provided to transport the spiky aliens. It was the same platform we use to transport cargo, but now, instead of having a big metal box on top of it, the platform has a clear wall installed around it and plush carpet on the floor. One by one the gojid climbed on the platform, including Bolad and Vani. Zara Karun advised that the humans shouldn't come with the refugees.
Alone in my van, I question whether we would need to transfer the refugees to Venlil. Although it made sense to send them away due to the looming invasion threat, I have a feeling that it might put the venlils in danger, especially if the Federation member responsible for the attack found them guilty by association.
I hope Vani's homeworld was not also under a similar threat.
Afterwords: If the gojid refugee is non-canonical, so be it. I want to write about the hedgehogs.

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Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, United Nations Fleet Command
Date [standardized human time]: December 7, 2136
It was tough to cope with my proximity to this predator and his Venlil pal. I was standing just within the room’s threshold, and resisting the urge to flee. Binocular eyes were trained on my skull; it felt like they were burning holes in my head.
My eyes wandered, attempting to look anywhere but at the human’s scarred face. Marcel had placed a photograph of Slanek and himself, alongside a female Terran I didn’t recognize. The curious aspect was a young Gojid, riding on the redhead’s back with bright eyes. My victim was tickling her wrists, twisting his hands over his shoulders. Even in a still photograph, I could tell the child was squealing with happiness.
Why were Marcel and Slanek taking pictures with a young Gojid? Didn’t the red-haired human despise our species? Just looking at that child must remind him of my likeness; I wasn’t sure why he’d volunteer with our refugees. Perhaps it was an attempt at coping for him, but the fact he kept it as his selected photo…
Marcel thinks of his time with that Gojid kid as a happy memory. How can that be?
My throat felt like it was made of sandpaper. “T-the G-gojid. Who is she?”
“That’s Nulia. My adopted daughter,” Marcel replied in an even voice. “Slanek and I rescued her on the cradle, after she was abandoned in a stampede. She’s back at home with my fiancé now.”
I recoiled, unable to process why the human would adopt a Gojid child. Peering into his eyes in the photograph, the scarred predator was radiating affection. His teeth were bared in a full snarl, and Slanek was cozied up against his side too. Protector, why couldn’t I have tortured an asshole Terran? Not that it would’ve made it more moral, but Marcel was too kind. I could not have harmed someone less deserving of cruelty.
My eyes burned, as images of Marcel in a collar flooded my mind. Staring at his heartfelt smile, I could still picture his strained smile when Slanek came to visit. It had been my claw that pressed the shock trigger, while staring at him with absolute reproach. The cold, starving predator had seized on the floor, and struggled just to breathe. I could still hear his screams as I kicked him in the ribs…
Slanek snapped the television show off, and fixed a withering glower on me. The Venlil eyed me with murderous intent, flexing his wounded arm as if to test it. Marcel’s best friend remembered the exact details I had; I could remember how desperate he was to plead the human’s case. My response was to try to get him preyed upon. I would’ve intervened before the predator could eat the Venlil, but at best, it was an attempt to traumatize him.
Besides, there was no guarantee I could react quicker than a hunter could lunge. Poor Marcel must’ve resisted such terrible thoughts, just looking at Slanek.
It felt immoral to sympathize with a predator’s bloodlust, but I knew he couldn’t help basic, biological urges. Marcel chose to die rather than to eat his friend, and that was a remarkable show of willpower. The fact that he hadn’t enacted revenge upon me showed that he was a good person; his love extended even to Gojid children.
The red-haired human shot Slanek a pointed look. “Tell Sovlin what you wanted to tell him. This hatred is poisoning your heart, and you need to let it out.”
“I fucking hate you! If Recel hadn’t intervened, you would’ve killed Marcel. You meant to put him down like a fucking animal,” the Venlil screeched. “Do you know how it felt, to feel like I’d lose him? To know his last moments were agony? You deprived him of every basic need…I suppose he was lucky you gave him filthy water in a filthy bucket.”
“I’m sorry,” I offered meekly.
“What good does that do? You’re out living a respected life with the Terran military, and the trauma can never be undone. My government never even got to prosecute you for how you tossed me around. Then, I was helpless as he clung to life, on the day-long trip to Venlil Prime. I sat beside his hospital bed, watching them put wires in his face.”
“S-saw the p-pictures. T-terrible to look at.”
“It was terrible. I don’t know how you got Tyler to feel sorry for you, but he was never the brightest bulb in the box! You can keep your fucking apologies, because they aren’t worth shit!”
The Venlil started to sit up, but Marcel held him back with an arm. Slanek wriggled against the restraint, yet for some reason, the human wouldn’t let him charge at me. The prey alien reached for his IV line, and the predator intercepted his paw with nimble reflexes. I’d never seen a Venlil bare their teeth, or act with such aggression.
There was no question I deserved special animosity. Even the galaxy’s weakest race wanted to bash my face in, and I couldn’t blame him. Everything Slanek just stated was true, down to the fact that I would’ve murdered an innocent creature without Recel. The tears poured out from my eyes, and that only enraged the Venlil further. I pressed my face into my paws, wishing I could fall into non-existence.
“Relax, buddy. It’s okay,” Marcel whispered.
Slanek pinned his ears back. “STOP! I should be comforting you; he did it to you. You’re the one who has to live with the trauma. You’re the one who’s permanently disfigured!”
“Yes, and I don’t want you harming him.”
“You told me in the hospital you wanted Sovlin dead. You were fantasizing about it.”
“It wouldn’t make anything better, Slanek. I’ve been trying to make peace with what happened to me, since I learned that his family was eaten in front of him. Sovlin saved both of our lives, and I don’t wish harm upon him.”
“You said you didn’t want to see him. You were pissed he was there on Sillis.”
“I was pissed! I’m angry, I’m hurting, I’m hounded by memories when I look at his face, and…I forgive him.”
What was left of my spines bristled, and the world collapsed in on me. All I wanted was for Marcel to take those words back; they stabbed at me like daggers to the chest. I couldn’t breathe, and every part of me screamed against that forgiveness. Everyone in the galaxy knew that Slanek’s interpretation was the correct one.
I didn’t deserve mercy, and my life should be forfeit for my actions. How could the predator just forgive what I had done to him?
“N-no. You can’t do that,” I croaked, fighting for air amid the narrowing of my vision.
His hazel eyes stared directly at me. “Oh, I can. I won’t forget what you did, but it’s time to let it go. I choose to feel compassion for you. I choose not to be a victim…and not to let hatred control me.”
Marcel’s stated compassion packed the force of a sledgehammer. Those simplistic words echoed in my mind, warring against concrete certainty that I must never find peace. Without self-loathing as my purpose, there was no guiding star to light my dark path. Forgiveness stripped my life of all meaning; there was no reason to persist another day.
Why should I get to live, when I couldn’t protect my family?
“You just said you were angry.” Speech spilled from my vocal cords, as if borne of their own volition. “You wanted me d-dead; that was good! Why would you just forgive me?”
“Simple. I was playing with Nulia, and she’d overheard me talking with Lucy. She said, ‘Mawsle, you’re mean when you talk about Sahwin.’ Kid was right. It was consuming me, ‘cause I hadn’t let it go.”
The thought lanced me. It couldn’t be that simple, for a predator to cast aside his vitriol. The words of a child, who peered into his heart, caused him to forgive old wounds.
Slanek slapped his tail against Marcel’s earlobe. “Listen to yourself! You’re letting him get away with sadism, again!”
“I don’t control his actions. I control mine, and there’s power in not clinging to resentment. I won’t be free from this until I set my heart free.”
“You have to stand up for yourself, Marc. It’s not about being the bigger person! Justice matters too, and your life has enough value to me that he deserves my disgust.”
“Do you believe people can change, buddy? Because I do, and it’s wrong to deny a truly repentant person a second chance. Please, for my sake, respect the fact that Sovlin is trying to do better today. That is all he can do.”
No…Marcel is insufferable. Tyler also said I deserved a second chance, and it wasn’t true then. It doesn’t matter that I’m doing right by them, after what I’ve already done.
I fell to my knees, sobbing as I had when I first realized humans had empathy. A second chance was not what I was seeking; there was no reason why my unforgivable deeds deserved a do-over. My continued existence was meant as inadequate penance for my treatment of humanity. What aid I’d given them wasn’t nearly enough, though I hoped I’d made a minute difference in their war efforts.
It was tempting to believe that my reparations were sufficient. I knew my die was cast and my story was written, yet I yearned to pretend that wasn’t the truth. My eyes blinked open, turning to the Venlil. Surely he would slap Marcel’s folly down without hesitation.
“Fine,” Slanek spat the word, as if it were a sour taste in his mouth.
Marcel smiled with satisfaction. “Good. Now, thank him for saving your life.”
“What?! How did you—”
“Tyler told me. He explained everything, rather apologetically. We would both be dead without Sovlin, so a little thanks is in order.”
“Please don’t.” Snot bubbled in my nose. I shook my head, desperate to rebuff any praise. “That’s…n-not necessary.”
“I agree.” Slanek contorted his facial features into a mask of disgust. “You’re taking this way too far, Marc. The concussion got to your head.”
“Well then, humor a poor, sick human!” the red-haired predator chuckled. “I’ll watch the new episode of that god-awful The Exterminators show with you, if you say thanks sincerely.”
“Th…th…thanks, Sovlin. Bleh, that was vile.”
“I said sincerely.”
“I’m glad Marcel is alive.” Slanek spoke through gritted teeth. “Er, thanks for not trying to slice and dice him again.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s the best you can do?!”
“That…it was sincere,” I sniffled, buying time to regain composure. “Technically meets your criteria.”
Marcel heaved a sigh. “I guess so. Let me walk you back to your room, Sovlin.”
I raised surrendering paws, stammering, “N-no, you don’t—”
“I insist. I need to be sure I didn’t kickstart a full-blown mental crisis.”
The human maneuvered onto his legs, and stretched out his body with bloodcurdling pops. His strong hands tugged at my shoulder. The extended contact made me nauseous to my stomach, and my heavy limbs were sluggish to obey. I reminded myself not to think of him as my victim. Marcel didn’t want to be regarded in that fashion, so I shouldn’t do him that disservice in my perception.
The red-haired Terran wrapped an arm around my neck, which felt as heavy as a rock. How did every interaction with Marcel increase my guilt to chest-bursting levels? He led me out of Slanek’s quarters, and asked in a low rumble where I was heading. All I could do was point a few doors down, still a teary-eyed, snot-stained mess.
I noticed the predator drawing deep breaths, to quell his own anxiety. My self-centered concerns turned to him, and I withdrew from his grasp. Marcel blinked his eyes shut, his scars scrunching up with his grimace. I wanted to comfort him, even though I knew it was my presence ratcheting up his anxiety.
“D-do…you want a hug?” My voice was hardly more than a whisper, and I watched his eyes pop open with surprise. “No, I g-get that, of course you don’t want one from me—”
Marcel threw his arms around me, burying his face in my fur. The Terran finally let the tears spill over, which soaked my shoulder. I mirrored the way I’d seen Tyler comfort Onso, and pressed my paw onto his back. This was the first time I’d ever been this close to a human; not even my “friends” had embraced me. It was shocking how warm this predator was, like a heated blanket.
No wonder Slanek always curls up next to him. This is oddly disarming.
My heart ached, as the human continued to bawl his eyes out. I moved my claws into his hair, and ruffled the strands in the silly way I’d do with my daughter. It wasn’t clear how Terran years translated, but Marcel was probably about her age. He jerked his head back, and fear flashed in his eyes briefly. The poor guy mistook my playful gesture for an attack.
“Sorry, shouldn’t have used the claws. It must feel like I was slicing at you; I wasn’t thinking,” I mumbled.
Marcel patted his mane back down. “It’s just…never mind. This here is where you’re heading, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool beans. Hey, listen…I wish you only the best. I don’t want you to be depressed on my account.”
It’s not on his account. It’s because of me and knowing what I am.
“T-the last thing I want is you worrying about me.” I wasn’t going to spill my emotional turmoil on this human, who could keep his own trauma contained. “I wish you hated me.”
“Well, I don’t. You hate you, Sovlin.”
“…yeah.”
“I don’t have to be a therapist to tell you where it all stems from. You blame yourself for what happened to your family. If you want to do something for me, get help.”
“Tyler told me about someone. I didn’t think—”
“That you deserved help. It’s okay to be happy and live your life. You’re not going to pay off some self-imposed debt to me by being miserable.”
I averted my gaze. “T-thank you. Whatever anyone says about you…you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. How much you care for others is astounding, and it speaks wonders of your species.”
“Nobody’s perfect. I just hope when it’s all said and done, I leave the universe a better place,” Marcel said. “It’s not too late for the sum of your actions, you know.”
“I promise I’ll try. From now on, I’ll try to be like you.”
“I’m not the worst role model…in my humble opinion. If only I could smack the same lesson into Slanek’s skull. But it seems like we’ve settled our issues, and that’s that.”
“That’s that.”
“Good. Well, I think I’d best be going. Rest up!”
As the predator turned away, I wondered how I ever could’ve believed his species was incapable of empathy. The truth was, Terrans had to be one of the most empathetic species to cobble together anything bordering normalcy. It took a great deal of emotion to repress their hunting instincts with such thoroughness. Perhaps that was why they’d bonded with the Venlil; they both were sensitive species with ample feelings.
As Carlos told me, the issue was when empathy wasn’t extended to a particular individual. Marcel chose to grant it even to me, after what I’d done; that was the sign of a good human. I couldn’t believe how openly he was conversing with me, and how he had wiped the slate clean. The catch was that I could not - would not - forgive myself.
I laid down on the floor of my room, and thought about the legacy I would leave behind. Marcel did have a point though. The torture would always be in my ledger, but I could surround it with other deeds. Suffering was my idea of a fair punishment, not any request of the scarred primate. It wasn’t going to make things right between us; if anything, it seemed like it would worsen his recovery.
Maybe it was time to get my head straight, as the humans so often suggested. I could become a better version of my despicable self, with the predators’ guidance.
---
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probably going to get doxxed but i don't really care lol
Demographics

• Gender: male
• Race/Ethnicity: asian-american
• Residence: deep south
• Income Bracket: ~200k
• Type of School: large public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): sibling legacy at yale & harvard (? not sure if this actually matters)

Intended Major(s): biomedical engineering / bioengineering everywhere
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.0/4.5
• Rank (or percentile): 5/700
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 17 AP/IB classes total (IBDP Candidate)
• Senior Year Course Load: 6 IB (4 HL) / 1 AP

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: did not take
• ACT: 36 (3636M/35E/36S)
• AP/IB: 5 - Calc AB, Stat, Euro, Physics I, Calc BC, Chem, APUSH; 4 - CSP

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. C-suite level of a student organization with 200,000+ members - (keeping this vague) something I've invested an insane amount of time into during all of high school; work with well-known nonprofits and lead membership development
2. Research Internship in Bioinformatics - mentored by local school prof on independent research contributing to lab; presented at ISEF & a conference; working on publication
3. Science Olympiad Captain - 3x Nationals Qualifier and coach for several events, place extremely well every year
4. Research Internship Program in Animal Genetics - summer program at state school, first authored poster and presented at undergrad-level symposium
5. Biology Club President - 2 years of being president; tripled membership, managed competitions and STEM service projects
6. Engineering Club Leadership Committee - directed STEM outreach in elementary schools for 4 years
7. Varsity & Club Swimming - District and State competitor, did well in competitions over 8 years
8. Piano - 10 years of independent study, have won both state & local competitions
9. Boys State - selected by school; elected for several positions/wrote a few passed bills
10. Class Rep - elected by students & led yearly events

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. ISEF 4th Grand Award
2. Conference Presenter & Poster Competition Finalist
3. Science Olympiad State/National Awards
4. App Development Contest Top 3
5. Distinguished State Officer for EC #1

Letters of Recommendation

1. English Teacher (10/10): super close with him. we talk weekly about both academic and non-academic things; he was close to my sibling as well and knows my family. he's known for writing fantastic recs and explicitly stated that mine was the best this year. he read a part to me - very personal. so thankful for this one
   
2. Calc Teacher (6-7/10): taught me two years & kept in touch this year. was a strong student and participated, but didn't really stand out. probably generic
   
3. Engineering Teacher (9/10): she's known me for 7 years; was my mentor & coach for basically every science activity. very close to her and she wrote about pretty unique things, but she was only my teacher pre-high school so used as an additional rec when possible.
   
4. Research Mentor (8/10): we were fairly close; she knew a lot about my non-research activities and expressed that I was a very strong intern. used this anywhere that accepted additional recs.
   

Interviews
Had one for MIT, Stanford, Duke, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, WashU, Rice
They were all 7-8/10; none really stood out to me other than my MIT interview, which was almost 3 hours long and also my first interview lol... everything else I think I connected solidly with each but nothing exceptional
Essays
- common app (7.5/10) was about my job as a bobarista and how making drinks changed my mindset towards breaking out of my comfort zone... lowkey kind of stupid but the writing was ok
- spent 2 months on MIT supps but they ended up over-edited and not genuine. they were my first supps written so not the best
- basically every non-ivy was a copy pasted essay that was slightly edited (6-7/10)
- yale, duke, harvard i spent a good amount of time on; very school-specific and personal (8/10)
- i think my stanford supps were the realest things i've ever written so was a bit disappointed about being waitlisted (10/10 lol)
​
overall i could've spent a much longer amount of time on my essays, but since i was shotgunning i didn't have as much time to use. i really recommend saving your top schools for the end, since you'll have much better ideas and experience with writing/drafting and your essays will be more genuine. if you'd like to see specific essays or want more advice feel free to dm.
i'm also not the best personal writer :(
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• UMich EA
• Georgia Tech EA (OOS)
• Northeastern EA (Honors)
• UNC EA (OOS; Honors & Accelerated Research)
• UIUC EA
• Safety 1
• Safety 2
• Boston University RD
• Rice RD
• Vanderbilt RD (MOSAIC, Chancellor's)
• Columbia RD (Likely, Davis Scholars)
• Yale RD

Waitlists:

• MIT EA (deferred)
• Stanford RD
• WashU RD
• UPenn RD
• Cornell RD
• Princeton RD
• Duke RD

Rejections:

• Harvard RD
• Johns Hopkins RD
• Northwestern RD
• Berkeley RD

Scholarships:

• National Merit Scholar
• Coca-Cola Regional Finalist
• UNC Robertson Alternate
• Morehead-Cain Finalist

Additional Information:
Overall very happy with my results and I'm planning on committing to Yale! But with all my waitlists and scholarship finalists, I feel like if I did just a bit more I could've broken into that highest bracket. Nonetheless, super excited - will be hoping to get off of Stanford's waitlist - and I'd love to answer any questions/provide any advice! (Speaking of advice, I've always wanted to mentor some people through the college process for free but am I even qualified to do that lol... lmk)

1. ABOUT THE SERVICE:

Hello,
I can edit and/or produce different styles of videos for you for a flat fee of $30 per video, with video duration varying upon the type of video. Following are some of the real examples of the styles of videos that I can edit/produce for you, along with their respective prices:

1. Cooperate/Business dynamic slideshow style [$40 per 60 Seconds] :
   1. ttps://www.facebook.com/hozsg/videos/1048240159035490/
   2. https://www.facebook.com/hozsg/videos/552417096044913
2. TV commercial style [$40 per 30 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/Ocx4vELlygs
   2. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1IjKK_zyB_0zbYUOGe6ZQmwXoKKgDbOlf?usp=sharing
   3. https://youtu.be/mTeeluJzY5A
3. Explainer videos in whiteboard/doodle animation style [$40 per 60 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/JaKdMeTf_Gg
   2. https://youtu.be/GrjoqBjL8MY
   3. https://youtu.be/givEH5-Gxq0
4. Explainer animation with static character style [$40 per 30 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/3qpsDhPMhq0
   2. https://youtu.be/mzncSYkS6Lw
   3. https://youtu.be/Uw1ZOhjXoVs
5. Animation animation with dynamic character style [$40 per 15 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/tV3cYaXWumI
   2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzo65yeoe1A
6. Apps/Products/Services/Percussion style [$40 per 20 Seconds] :
   1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIr-mLJ3erY
   2. https://youtu.be/aN7HZomwlkQ
7. Tutorial style [$40 per 60 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/Yp69th4fLVE
   2. https://youtu.be/xlc4rBmNWpk
8. B2B corporate fully-animated style [$40 per 10 Seconds] :
   1. https://youtu.be/HPkmOwn3eVk
   2. https://youtu.be/xVbBP23fL5w
9. Dropshipping style [$40 per 60 Seconds] :
   1. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1BDIzWgKHACXIitUxZ4P6ke7Rbs5ljHFI?usp=sharing
10. Reels/TikTok style [$40 per 30 Seconds] :
11. https://www.instagram.com/p/CjKyHOyjh2J/
12. https://www.instagram.com/p/CjiiWt0g_hL/
13. https://www.instagram.com/p/ChrQ541AfwP/

2. ABOUT THE PROCESS:

Your Idea/Business Info > Discussion/Brainstorming > Script Writing > Video Editing/Producing > Draft Delivery > Revisions > FINAL VIDEO
NOTE: Please note that some of the videos require a voiceover and/or footage to be used, which is charged additionally and can be either sourced from a stock library or recorded by you, thus it needs to be discussed beforehand.

3. WHY CHOOSE MY OFFER?

1. More than 8 years of video production experience
2. Fast turnaround time
3. Super-high quality videos at a competitive price
4. High precision and attention-to-detailing
5. Highly organized process
6. Long term business options
7. Free multiple minor revisions

4. HOW TO GET STARTED?

Comment $bid or $PMed first and then please fill out the form below. The best, fastest, easiest and most convenient way we can get started is by discussing the details through WhatsApp. However, if you're not comfortable with that, you could share any other instant messaging details using the form below or just send me a chat here on Reddit.
https://forms.gle/dC7jS3b1K2BVeP5a9

5. OPTIONS:

I can also be your long term video editor / social media creator, by creating a detailed content calendar and producing the videos accordingly.

6. TESTIM0NIALS:

🔥 HAPPY CLIENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES! There are more s, which I haven't posted here.

1. https://imgur.com/v54cznE [VIDEO] ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
2. https://imgur.com/Wm3Ckt6
3. https://imgur.com/gTLfuyI
4. https://imgur.com/nukx0zH
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6. https://imgur.com/mTCd2L1
7. https://imgur.com/wKVa0XN
8. https://imgur.com/sUkgXFq
9. https://imgur.com/kXGFKfV
10. https://imgur.com/1G4cNoo
11. https://imgur.com/qc0VFp0
12. https://imgur.com/vLGlXiC
13. https://imgur.com/iLzhGGQ
14. https://imgur.com/aCByswU
15. https://imgur.com/bfVfc1w
16. https://imgur.com/bPo6r7U
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19. https://imgur.com/6iaGWLs
20. https://imgur.com/QiR7XO5
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25. https://imgur.com/ayOb894
26. https://imgur.com/5oqvO4P
27. https://imgur.com/6HOVK0f
28. https://imgur.com/undefined
29. https://imgur.com/a/SSX4bkb
30. https://imgur.com/yLKTrhR
31. https://imgur.com/iVVCOMT
32. https://imgur.com/T1YM8j8
33. https://imgur.com/RM0hyxw
34. https://imgur.com/cRyeXcX
35. https://imgur.com/4bLuH2m
36. https://imgur.com/okjlaFw
37. https://imgur.com/BPHtRqC
38. https://imgur.com/ME5GVoI
39. https://imgur.com/RNfgKxz
40. https://imgur.com/bWBUGpS
41. https://imgur.com/s5XVoik
42. https://imgur.com/Bkg5Kkk
43. https://imgur.com/2IG49xL
44. https://imgur.com/dkPJbKi
45. https://imgur.com/Z4OpQ43
46. https://imgur.com/eajVzwt
47. https://imgur.com/gf91x5O
48. https://imgur.com/D7QYaXm
49. https://imgur.com/cGc9Ywq
50. https://imgur.com/pIjRLYM
51. https://imgur.com/6Bj2tQk
52. https://imgur.com/VxBSlmK
53. https://imgur.com/3fRz5jD
54. https://imgur.com/Ae65RMS
55. https://imgur.com/vgLIhNJ
56. https://imgur.com/Yjzh8UP
57. https://imgur.com/Uqk5gjr
58. https://imgur.com/uRzZPGI
59. https://imgur.com/uUds4eJ
60. https://imgur.com/xHuYFYR
61. https://imgur.com/zxtNTfh
62. https://imgur.com/cEgHWcJ
63. https://imgur.com/LadED2m
64. https://imgur.com/Ng0xcSO
65. https://imgur.com/vKbzTgN
66. https://imgur.com/CcVnS5n

EDIT: Reddit Chats 💬:

1. https://imgur.com/Hji1L8r
2. https://imgur.com/hUtfMT8
3. https://imgur.com/UIrqpn2
4. https://imgur.com/k17WzKw
5. https://imgur.com/ovXnHn3
6. https://imgur.com/3EZ5XkY
7. https://imgur.com/F0bVl0L
8. https://imgur.com/OwNvIx5
9. https://imgur.com/XekWu5I
10. https://imgur.com/ghybTyI
11. https://imgur.com/LHLUzWE
12. https://imgur.com/zNhwCUM
13. https://imgur.com/zNhwCUM
14. https://imgur.com/JRT588R
15. https://imgur.com/W7xcsq6
16. https://imgur.com/2ToRJNH
17. https://imgur.com/6feHH5V
18. https://imgur.com/P0wNbqh
19. https://imgur.com/QKoKwDP
20. https://imgur.com/bPAX4qr
21. https://imgur.com/1nVYBKh
22. https://imgur.com/Y6ALDtZ
23. https://imgur.com/hqAWkFN
24. https://imgur.com/wT9AmEr
25. https://imgur.com/HGlnBOM
26. https://imgur.com/SDTJeYK
27. https://imgur.com/vDaBtyk
28. https://imgur.com/FeaSH9l
29. https://imgur.com/bqNtpI3
30. https://imgur.com/SMostU3
31. https://imgur.com/JnSDMwK
32. https://imgur.com/USiZqjV
33. https://imgur.com/DdVIrED
34. https://imgur.com/rZO0nAT
35. https://imgur.com/CgZ6NwJ
36. https://imgur.com/gKWBTBh
37. https://imgur.com/J5kDHPW
38. [FULL ALBUM https://imgur.com/a/PuTBkKh]

Thank you.

u/bluedecemberart : Thank you for the lovely Ivy Mucha postcard you sent me! We've been having storms out here too, and are in fact on flood watch 😬 lol! I hope you stay safe out there! I'll have a card headed your way shortly ❤. I have some new postcards coming in.
u/shipping_addict : Thank you for the beautiful pastel postcard! The one you selected for me is just perfect 🥰. My favorite color is purple (all shades) and I love roses. I'm glad you liked my prompt, I think it's a fun one! I have to say Pooh made honey look so yummy, and I'm not even a big fan of it haha. An animated food that I've always wanted to try was Créme de la Créme á la Edgar from the Aristocats, so much that I found a recipe for it and saved it. So I can make it and have it the next time I watch that cartoon haha. Did you happen to receive the postcard I sent with the savory oatmeal recipe yet?
u/littlehoneybeebuzz : Thank you for the cute surprise pepper postcard! I used to grow a bunch of different peppers. I love watching the rain from the window 😊. Spring hasn't really happened here yet. Spring used to be sunny and warm with occasional showers, lots of things in bloom, and mockingbirds singing all hours of the day. But, I now live in a area that has high winds throughout the year, so sometimes that's a thing haha. Our weather has been weird the last few years to me, though. Right now there's still a crisp chill in the air. It's been very stormy as well, which I think will likely damage crops. But, I did hear my first mockingbird last week!
u/wabisabi_sf : Thank you so much for the surprise RAoC 10th anniversary postcard! I appreciate you thinking of me, and making me feel included 🥰. I’m so happy to be a part of this wonderful community!
u/orangewolpertinger : Thank you for the cute handmade Stranger Things card. Steve does have a great relationship with the kids. I like his dynamic with Dustin! And yes, they did Barb dirty 😕. A postcard from me should (hopefully) be arriving soon!
u/Monetmonkey : Thank you giraffe for the cute giraffe butt postcard ☺️. It makes me happy lol. I loved the washi you used on the back. There was even a giraffe in it! I even loved the stickers and the pen you used! I had the pleasure of feeding a giraffe once, they're so sweet. And yes! Comic book and cartoon Rogue and Gambit were my fave X-Men!
https://imgur.com/a/A2ytSfr

I ask this question because it appears that every event I go to is a sausage fest. In the 20’s and 30’s crowd, there are always more men than women. Always.
Let’s say you are single and it is a Friday night. You want to go out somewhere with the intention of meeting singles that fit your criteria.
Where would you go?
My theory and please correct me if I’m wrong is that any event that makes it easy for all men to attend will be a sausage fest. This includes free to low-cost entry, “singles” events, bars, nightclubs, etc.
Events that would skew women may include:
A) a high entrance fee ($100+) for men/none for women B) Free food/open bar. C) Themes that attract women (ex: yoga, astrology, animal welfare, dance, etc) D) upscale space
Thoughts?

I was scraping a living working as a security guard.
I was stationed in shopping malls where my days were spent asking teenagers to move on. I sat behind desks in the lobbies of office blocks staring at CCTV monitors where nothing happened for hour after hour. And I patrolled construction sites on freezing cold nights, actually wishing someone would try and break in and steal some of the building materials. At least then I could get warm by chasing them.
My job was garbage.
One night, I was responding to an alarm which had gone off at the lot of a car dealership.
I parked up outside. The alarm was flashing but there was no sign of damage to the building so I assumed it was yet another waste of time.
I stood in front of the window and looked at the sleek, high-performance vehicles on display that cost more than I would earn in a lifetime on my pathetic wage. My reflection peered back at me: a sad figure dressed in a grey security guard’s uniform.
I sighed, turned away and headed back to my car. I had left my work phone on the passenger seat. I had to use it to fill in an online form after every call out before leaving the scene and would get my wages docked if I did not complete all the boxes correctly. It felt so futile.
I unlocked the car and was reaching for the door handle when I saw movement across the road. A glimpse of something running on all fours.
It slipped down an alley and away out of sight.
I thought at first that it might have been a fox.
There were a small number of exclusive restaurants in the surrounding blocks and their refuse would be packed with tasty morsels for scavengers. They wouldn’t care that it was leftovers from haute cuisine prepared by a chef with his own show on cable tv.
But my hand hovered over the door handle.
What if it had been a dog? I wondered. A stray destined for the pound that would eventually, heartbreakingly, be put to sleep.
I had always liked dogs a lot. I admired their loyalty and their tenacity, though my circumstances over the years had meant I had not owned one since I was a teenager.
And though I should have got busy filling in the mind-numbing online form, I decided that could wait.
I wanted to see if it was a dog. If it was, maybe I could rescue it and give it a home. That would give my empty life some kind of purpose.
Trying not to think about how I was going to afford to pay for dog food and veterinarian’s bills, I set off on the animal’s trail.
The alley I had entered was narrow and dark. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust then carried on. I moved slowly, not wanting to spook the animal.
I knew that if it felt threated it could lash out, and the last thing I needed was a trip to ER to get treated for a bite.
But there was no sign of it and the only sound was a drunk singing in the distance.
I shook my head sadly. I would have to give up and get back to the car. There would be another job lined up for me by now and the supervisor would be wondering where I was.
I turned – but did not take another step.
A pair of eyes glowed in the darkness ahead of me. They were red and burning with rage.
I could see the snout of the animal now as well and its teeth… only they were not the teeth of any kind of dog or fox. They were way too big, way too sharp.
They were fangs. And they were coming my way.
My guts cramped with fear.
I needed to get out of there or stand and fight. I clenched my firsts.
The animal was close. It began to snarl and crouch. I realised with horror that it was about to go for me.
Suddenly the alley was filled with the sound of screeching tyres and an engine roaring like it was fit to burst.
A car sped into view. It was backing in and barely fit into the cramped space. Its sides scraped along the sides of the alley with a sickening screech. Then it slammed to a halt.
I heard a door open, and a man stepped out of the driver’s seat.
He wore a battered leather coat that reached almost to his ankles. A fedora was balanced at a rakish angle on his head.
He smiled, and I saw the glint of a gold tooth.
“Well, howdy,” he said to me, “I will take it from here.”
The animal had not moved since he had arrived on the scene. It had remained low to the ground, its teeth bared, its hackles raised.
The man stood tall before it, patted a holster on his hip and said, “I got six silver pieces in here. I will need only one. There will be no morning after regrets then. The only thing waiting for you will be a cold hard grave.”
It was insane. He was speaking to a crazed animal as if it could understand him.
The animal responded with a howl, then leapt at him.
Moving with lightning speed and agility, the man rolled out of the way and was back on his feet in a flash. He drew, and a loud retort filled the alley – all while the animal was still mid-air.
The impact of the projectile sent it spiralling down. It hit the ground heavily and did not move.
I stood there transfixed, barely able to breathe.
The man opened the trunk of his car, picked the animal up and placed it inside.
As he closed the trunk, I could swear I saw pale human skin appearing beneath the animal’s fur.
The man turned back to me. “Word of advice, stranger. Stay out of dark alleys on nights like these. The full moon’s real pretty, but she brings out the beast.”
Then he tapped the brim of his fedora in a relaxed salute and climbed back into his car.
I was left standing watching open-mouthed as he drove away.
I had not noticed that it was a full moon but, when I looked up, I saw it burning bright in the dark city night.
I took a deep breath and headed back to my car.
There were missed calls on my work phone and a red-flagged email telling me to report to personnel in the morning.
I did not tell the drone in the suit who I met in the security company’s headquarters at 9.30 the next day what had happened in the alley. I knew that was pointless. There was no way he would believe me – and, it turned out, the damage was already done.
I listened as he told me that I was fired for taking an unauthorised break.
It took all my self-control not to reach over the desk, grab him and tell him exactly what I thought of his organisation and his stupid face.
With my head held high, I walked out onto the street. I had my dignity but nothing else. I was unemployed and close to broke.
I needed to think. I decided it was too early to go to a bar and consider my options over a stiff drink, and my cramped apartment was the last place I wanted to be when I was already feeling down, so I set off walking.
I had no destination in mind, I just drifted.
As I paced the streets, my mood got bleaker and bleaker. I could not see a way out of the dire situation I was in.
Finally, as dusk fell, I gave in to the temptation of a drink. There was a bar on the corner. It had no windows and there was broken glass and cigarette ends scattered across the sidewalk in front of it.
It was a dive.
Ideal for a loser like me then, I figured, and headed in.
The inside of the bar was hazy with smoke and dimly lit by a fluorescent strip that was dancing with flies. There were half a dozen patrons nursing beers, and a juke box was playing a song about looking for love.
The only thing anyone was going to find in this place was regret and stale breath.
I headed to the bar and ordered a double bourbon neat. The barman slid over a glass and poured out the drink.
The rim of the glass had more fingerprints on it than a crime scene. Telling myself that alcohol was a very effective disinfectant, I downed the bourbon in one, then turned to leave.
Call it the ambiance, call it the dirty looks I was getting because my eyebrows did not meet in the middle, but this bar was not helping my mood one little bit.
I was almost back at the door, when it swung open and the man from the alley strolled in.
His fedora, long leather coat and confident strut made him stand out a mile in the seedy bar.
He looked at me and I saw recognition in his eyes, but he carried on right by me without a word and made his way towards a lone figure sitting at a corner table.
I’d paid this man no heed before. He was keeping to the shadows and, even as he was approached, he had eyes only for the drink that sat in front of him.
Common sense was telling me that there was about to be trouble and I should leave, but I had not ended up one step away from the gutter by listening to my common sense.
So I leant against a wall and watched and waited.
The man wearing the fedora had reached the table. He had his back to me, but I imagined a gold tooth glinting as he said, “It is time to end this.”
His voice was calm and cold. He meant business.
The lone figure responded by taking a long drink, then placing his glass back down slowly and deliberately. The sound of the glass clinking on the tabletop was the loudest sound in the bar by now.
The juke box was silent and everyone else in there seemed transfixed by the encounter as well.
The lone figure got to his feet. He was slender and dressed all in black. In the gloom, his eyes were two points of darkness and his skin looked drained of all colour.
Then he smiled, and I felt a cold chill run through my body.
The tips of his teeth were viciously sharp points. Had he had filed them down to be like that? I wondered. Or was there another explanation?
One that belonged far from the light of day, in a dank, dark place like this.
The lone figure kept smiling as he said, “That’s not going to happen. It’s night now, so I will be leaving here to get myself a drink that satisfies my thirst. The plasma they keep behind the bar for me here just doesn’t cut it. In fact, this whole situation lacks bite.”
Then he snarled and his jaws snapped open. His grotesque teeth looked like a steel trap. One that was about to close around the neck of the man in the fedora.
But, once again, he moved at speed, producing a sharp wooden stake from inside his leather coat and striking it into the heart of the lone figure – who screamed then crumbled into dust.
The man in the fedora turned to walk away.
Only his path to the door was blocked by the barman. He held a sawn-off. “You should not have done that,” he said. “Vampires are my best customers.”
Then he let loose with both barrels.
There was nothing the man in the fedora could do. He was sent flying backwards, crashing through chairs and tables before sliding to a halt.
Appalled at this vicious assault, I threw myself at the barman and knocked him out with a right hook.
Then I scrambled over to the man in the fedora. He was in a bad way, but he was still breathing. His eyes flickered opened.
I forced a reassuring smile onto my face and said, “Don’t try and move. I’ll call 911.”
“No, there’ll be too many questions.” he gasped and tried to sit up. His face contorted with pain and he swore. Then, through gritted teeth, he said, “Help me get out of here.”
I had no idea what he was talking about and still thought calling the authorities was the best thing to do, but I saw that the other customers were giving us filthy looks and that the barman was coming round. I decided that getting out of there as soon as possible was the wisest option after all.
I helped the man in the fedora get to his feet and took as much of his weight as I could as we struggled towards the door and out into the night.
I recognised his car parked across from the bar. He gave me the keys and collapsed into the passenger seat.
I was about to tell him I was not insured to drive his vehicle when I saw the door of the bar open and the barman emerge.
Getting pulled over for a traffic offense was small change compared to the volley that was about to come our way, so I dived into the car, gunned the engine and gripped the wheel as we sped away.
I almost hit a car at the next intersection but swerved just in time. My heart was beating way too fast and I was coated in sweat. Then the headlights of a truck filled my line of vision and its horn blasted out a warning.
It missed us by inches.
I could not take it anymore. I pulled up at the side of the road and sat there shaking.
I glanced over at the man in the fedora and was amazed to see he was grinning.
“What in Hades’ name is going on?” I snapped.
“I am a freelance operative,” he replied. “I am paid by the government to eliminate monsters.”
I looked at him, lost for words.
“Sounds crazy, I know,” he continued. “But I assure you I don’t need a straight-jacket, just one more favour. I live a couple of blocks from here. I’m figuring it would be safer to walk the rest of the way and, while my Kevlar vest, soaked up most of the blast I’m still in a world of pain…”
He left it hanging there.
I sighed then told him I’d help him get home but that was it.
A day that had started with me being fired had descended into chaos and my nerves were shredded.
With him leaning on me we made our way slowly through the streets, until finally we reached what looked to me like a derelict warehouse. Even though it was late, a steady stream of traffic passed by. This city never slept.
“This is my place,” he said, while unlocking the door with a big brass key. The door opened with a creak and I helped him inside.
He flicked a light switch on, revealing a long open plan room that was a strange mix of workshop and living space.
An old and very comfortable looking sofa sat in front of a tv that looked about thirty years old. There was a fridge nearby, a stove, and a sink that was piled high with dishes.
A tool box stood open on the floor near to the sink, and a wide wooden workbench ran along the side of one wall.
There was an unmade bed as well, and an empty clothes hanger. Rumpled clothes lay scattered across the floor.
“I’m guessing you live here alone,” I said.
He shrugged and responded with, “Wherever I lay my stakes, that’s my home.”
I thought he was joking until I saw the row of wooden stakes lined up against one of the walls. The tip of each was sharpened – just like the one he had used in the bar.
He tapped the nearest one and said, “I like to keep plenty of replacements. Always seem to be leaving the things behind.”
Then he made his way over to the sofa and sunk down onto it.
I could see he was still in a lot of pain, but his breathing was regular and as I watched his eyelids closed and he started to snore quietly.
It was time for me to make my exit – only I could hear the rain falling heavily against the roof of the building. It sounded filthy outside, and I was beat.
There was an armchair in one corner of the room. It looked ancient and the lining was split open in a bunch of places. At that moment in time, it also looked incredibly comfortable.
I dragged myself over and pretty much collapsed onto it.
I don’t even remember closing my eyes.
The next thing I knew, I was blinking and yawning and rubbing my face. The morning sun was reaching into the room from a skylight and there was a pot of coffee brewing on the stove.
There was also a fax machine whirring into life.
I thought they’d gone the way of the dinosaurs so was bemused by the spectacle as a printout appeared. I went over to see what was on the sheet of paper.
It was a two-tone reproduction of a mug shot. Whoever it was, was not going to win any beauty contests. He looked desperate and dangerous. He also appeared human, but I assumed there was more to him than met the eye, if he was of interest to a monster hunter.
Below the picture there was a dollar sign followed by four figures.
I whistled quietly to myself. To a man in my dire financial straits, it was a substantial sum.
I was thinking how having that kind of money in my pocket would have made my life a whole lot better, when the man who I had helped the night before came into the room.
He took the printout from me, studied it, then said, “Looks like it’s time for me to go back to work.”
His leather coat and fedora were on the floor. He started to bend over to pick them up but pulled up in pain.
“Look,” I said. “If I understand this right, and you’re going to try and take out that desperado for that fee, then I would say you are going to fail. I reckon at the best you’ve cracked a couple of ribs. What you need is a partner, with a fifty-fifty split of the money when we succeed.”
He did not look happy about my suggestion and replied, “It will be dangerous in the extreme. You must realise that after seeing the last couple of vermin I took out?”
Unease trickled through me. But I wasn’t going to be put off that easily. I really wanted the money.
I pointed at the mug shot and asked, “What kind of monster is this?”
He grabbed a second page that had appeared from the fax machine, read it, then told me, “It says he is a shapeshifter. He is more dangerous than the lycanthrope I killed in the alley because he can change at will, not just during the full moon, and he could well share the cold logic of the vampire from the bar. The amount of the fee reflects this.”
I swallowed and tried to pretend like I was not scared as I said, “My offer to partner up with you still stands.”
He felt his ribs then looked me in the eye and growled, “Let’s do this thing.”
He drove this time, wincing every time we hit a pothole.
I had the two printouts on my lap and was leafing through an old A to Z of the city. I was looking for the street name that was among the details provided on the second sheet of paper.
“You do know it’s much easier to do this online,” I told him, as yet another bump in the road made me lose my page.
“Easier, but risky,” he told me. “Emails and messaging services are frequently hacked but no one is looking for information sent by fax. And who’s to say someone is not looking at the results of your internet searches the moment you bring them up.”
“I guess you don’t trust money being wired into banks either. So how do you get paid?” I said with a cynical tone.
He replied without missing a beat: “In cash. Used notes. Collected from drop off points, and never the same place. Do you like being given cash in hand? I know I do.”
I had to smile. He had me there. I went back to the A to Z.
After a couple of unnecessary detours caused by my rusty map reading, we finally turned into the right street. The apartment block we were looking for was on our left.
Finding monsters in alleys and dive bars had made sense. I also assumed monsters would hang out in graveyards, crumbling mansions, and other generally creepy and run down locations.
As I climbed out of the car and looked up, I was surprised.
The apartment block was sleek and modern. Balconies extended below each window. The views from the upper ones must have been stunning. And back down at ground level there was no graffiti or trash anywhere in sight.
“Are you sure this is the right place?” I asked.
He looked me at me and said, “The fax never lies.”
Then, hiding his pain behind a swagger, he strode up to the entrance and pressed a bunch of intercom buttons all at once.
“Someone is bound to be expecting a delivery,” he said, and sure enough we were buzzed in straight away.
We made our way through the plush lobby and waited on the elevator. The details we had been given also told us the shapeshifter lived in the penthouse suite.
“Must be profitable being a monster,” I said as the display showed the elevator descending.
The man in the fedora kept his attention on the display as he replied, “For some it can be. They use their differences to gather fortunes and power, sometimes through deluded acolytes, sometimes through violence and cunning. For others, though, being different is a curse, pure and simple. They wallow in filth, driven by base instincts to feed and hide. Either way, it is only a matter of time before they are identified as monsters and an operative is sent to end them.”
The elevator arrived and the doors slid open. The interior was wallpapered and there was a small, ornate sofa on one side. More signs that the shapeshifter had clearly done very well for himself.
That was all about to change.
The elevator ride was smooth and swift, and we emerged into a corridor where our boots sank into a thick, white carpet. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a security camera fixed high on the wall turn to face us.
I pointed it out and whispered, “Motion activated.”
The man in the fedora drew and obliterated the camera. “Not anymore,” he said and walked up to the door leading to the penthouse.
“It’s over,” he yelled then slammed his boot into the door. I noticed for the first time that he had steel toe caps and steel heels. The door cracked, he forced it open and stepped inside.
I followed. I could feel the adrenaline pushing my fear away.
The downtrodden security guard was history, I was a monster hunter’s partner now.
The vestibule of the penthouse was larger than any of the rooms in my apartment. There were oil paintings on the wall and light fittings that sparkled like jewels. A door opened up off it.
The man in the fedora was already barging through it. I hurried after him, into a living room with a floor to ceiling window. High rises soared in the distance.
A man sat in an antique chair in one corner of the room. I recognised him from the mug shot.
He had an arrogant sneer on his face. An arrogance that spread to his voice when he said, “Breaking into my home was a mistake. The last one you will ever make.”
Then he rose to his feet – and began to change.
His entire body expanded and within seconds he loomed over us. His skin cracked and dark fur began to appear. His fingers split open and claws unfurled, and the sneering face that looked down on us was now that of a beast.
It growled and with dizzying speed went for the man in the fedora.
He made to draw, but his injuries must have slowed him because the shapeshifter reached him before he could.
The shapeshifter lashed out with one of its claw-tipped paws, and the man in the fedora was sent flying across the room.
He lay there looking dazed. His leather coat and Kevlar vest were ripped and blood was seeping out.
The shapeshifter raised its claws, ready to inflict a fatal blow.
I had to act. I grabbed a chair and swung this at the shapeshifter. It turned and smashed the chair out of my grip.
I was left standing there as the shapeshifter snarled at me. The only thing I had achieved was to move up the victim chain. I would be diced and sliced and left as a gory mess on the floor.
My life flashed before my eyes, and I felt sick to the core as I realised my last thought would be: I have wasted my time on this earth.
Then something whipped into sight, a blur of silver. The shapeshifter looked confused, then its head toppled to the floor.
The man in the fedora dragged himself into view. He was holding a silver boomerang. “An excellent weapon,” he drawled, “Portable, with an edge that will cut through most anything, and very loyal. It always comes back.”
The decapitated head was already changing back into that of a man. A very dead man.
I turned away and was violently sick.
By the time I had recovered, the man in the fedora had left the room. I ran after him and called out, “Do we still have a deal? I get half of the fee.”
He was stepping into the elevator and did not turn round as he replied, “Yeah, sure. I’m going to collect it now. I’ll meet you later to hand over your share. Be at the alley where we first met, at midnight. And don’t be late.”
The doors slid closed behind him.
I punched the air and said, “Yes!”
I was too wired to head home or go for a drink so once again found myself pacing the streets.
I was excited at the prospect of the cash coming my way, but I wanted more than a pay-off. I wanted to be back on the trail of a monster. I wanted the rush of the confrontation. The elation of victory.
Sure, I was green and I knew there was no way I could strike out on my own. But the way forward was obvious. I had persuaded the man in the fedora to partner up with me once. I would do that again.
I was still telling myself that as I waited for him in the alley. It was five minutes to midnight.
Then midnight came and went and there was no sign of him.
I told myself not to worry. He would be there soon, with my money, and I would seize my opportunity to change my life forever.
But, by one a.m., I was still alone.
I cursed the man in the fedora. Did he think he could rip me off?
Well, there was no way I was going to let that happen.
I set off for his base.
It took me hours to get there on foot. I was exhausted but still furious, until I saw that his door was hanging open.
I knew that someone as security conscious as him would never have left it like that, and my anger dissipated.
My nerves tingling with dread, I slipped inside – to be met by a shocking sight.
The man in the fedora was lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
“No,” I cried out and ran forwards. I knelt next to him and tried to find a pulse, but there was nothing.
I began to weep. And as I did so, laughter drifted from the edge of the room.
I span round. A tall, pale figure dressed all in black walked into view. His eyes were pools of darkness. My mind flashed back to the lone figure in the bar.
The vampire.
Was this his kin?
“You did this.” I spat the accusation out.
The pale figure smiled. “I took my revenge.”
I was shaking as I screamed at him, “You murderer!”
The pale figure shook his head. “No. I did not kill him, because there are worse things than death I can inflict. You will see.”
Then, he walked away, out into the night.
My mind was racing. I needed to do something. But, what?
I decided I should take care of the body first. It was an empty shell now, but I still wanted to treat it with respect.
I grabbed a towel from among the things on the floor and began to clean away the blood. I stopped when I saw two wounds on the neck.
They were small and deep and I knew in my heart what they were.
Bite marks.
I recalled the vampire’s words: … there are worse things than death I can inflict.
And now when I looked down at the man in the fedora’s chest, I could see it was moving. This was so slight, it was no wonder I had missed it, but there was no question now. He was not dead.
He was undead.
I knelt there and watched as his chest rose and fell, as his eyes opened.
I could see the pain in them, the confusion.
“What happened?” he asked. His voice was very faint.
I told him. There was no point in lying. No way back.
And he knew that. Better than me.
“I can’t exist like this. As a monster,” he said in a quiet, weary voice.
Then he asked me to help him get up. I supported him as he struggled to his feet. He took off his fedora and handed it to me.
It was dawn by now and the sun was starting to reach into the room through the skylight.
He began to move through the shadows that remained towards the still open door.
He hesitated for a moment on the threshold, perhaps remembering his own life, perhaps summoning the courage he needed, then he stepped outside.
Through the gap, I could see the smoke rising from his exposed skin as the sunlight touched him.
I closed my eyes. I could not bear to watch.
I stayed like that for a long time. After a while, I moved over to the sofa and collapsed onto it.
I felt more alone and lost than I had ever done in my whole miserable life. The world was infected by evil. How could I find my place in it now my eyes had been opened to this?
At dusk, I made a decision.
There was one thing l could do. One thing I had to do:
Take revenge.
The need for this burnt white hot inside me.
I put the fedora on, picked up a stake and stepped outside.
The rain struck the streets as I stared out into the night. The lights of cars blurred as they passed, and sirens rose and fell in their endless serenade.
I took a deep breath. Excitement and fear mingled inside me. It was time to go to work.

It's that day of the year for joke announcements, so let's come up with our own. Make everyone laugh with the most absurd game ideas and out of touch spinoffs possible. Here's some of mine to start:

• Animal Crossing Warriors
  
• Huniepop vs. Capcom
  
• A Star Wars dating sim that comes in two separate versions: "Meesa Gon Get Lucky" has you play as Jar Jar Binks. And "I-it's not like I like you or anything B-bacca" has you play as Chewbacca.
  
• Dance Dance Communist Revolution
  
• Diablo Party
  

1. Adam Katz made a series of prank calls with Derek and Justin Napolitano (Derek voiced Pickle and the Cherries, and Justin voiced Trophy) on his old channel DuncanEpic.
2. Adam watched Happy Tree Friends back in 2009.
3. Adam made a Happy Tree Friends AMV with clips from HTF synced to Miley Cyrus' "7 Things".
4. Adam created a Total Drama Island camp called Total Drama Epic.
5. Adam was one of the winners of the Annoying Orange Picture Contest.
6. Bow's voice was based on Shane Dawson's impression of Paris Hilton.
7. Suitcase was co-designed by Michael Huang.
8. Paintbrush's current voice actor, Jazzy Oliver, has worked with Eric Kelso on a fandub of the F-Zero anime.
9. Dough was created to mock the Glee episode "Big Brother".
10. Ubabkas exist in the II universe.

If you've reached this far, it's because of some happy confluence of my words, the Reddit algorithm and fickle fortune.
Our meeting seemed to dangle so much on fate, it's only fair we pay our dues. Give it our best shot. Do justice to the matchmakers of heaven. The directors of this romance.
I'm on the quest for a sweet companion. Someone with a good heart. Kind and empathetic - Like my own.
Someone who enjoys intellectual discussions. Who likes dissecting her topics of interest and squeezing it for all the insight if offers. Someone who loves listening to someone passionate about the things they love. Someone whom I could talk to the entire day about the various events filling it and make observations about the overall arcs of our lives.
I look forward to constructing our own little castle. Our little moments of fun, frolic and fantasy. We'll construct something special, unique to our own personal dynamic - inimitable and impossible to replicate.
I'd like someone who is open to and enjoys voice calls. There's a certain immediacy to a voice call. It feels more attentive, more immediate, more close. Of receiving someone's entire attention.
I like women who enjoy talking to me and are capable of holding a conversation. Who put effort into their conversation and type well thought out messages. Whose messages are not the bare minimum and not littered with abbreviations. Women who remember what I say and often make references to it at later points in time.
Our general moments of sugar would only be interrupted by strong torrents of spice. Moments when we'd be filled with raw, animalistic passion and forego any kind of sophistry. Times when we'd cast away the side of ourselves that everyone in real life knows and give free reign to the animal inside of us - hungry for the other. I should warn (or maybe delight) you that In my erotic fantasies I enjoy being someone far different from my usual reticent self into someone who firmly takes charge.
The first line might have drawn you by wit, but the last line has been drawn by your own interest. If you do wish to indulge your own interest and reach out to me, mention your favourite fruit along with what you liked about my post and if you're open to voice calls.

junker queen: "everyone, look at my axe" - ok so.... i first thought it said "look at my abs" and it was gonna be a reference to every single persons response to seeing junker queen, but i just misheard it, thank god for subtitiles
kiriko: "believe it!" - ok this reference is so obvious that its really impossible to miss, another anime reference, naruto.
hanzo: "sick em boys" - no real explanation needed, just funny
moira: "ill show you meta!" - probably a reference to just how fucking broken moira was for a while (arguably still is)
reaper: "happy, happy birthday" - fun fact: my dogs birthday is actually april 1st, so that was nice.
soldier 76: "who took my dentures?" - soldier is old, that is all.
brigette: "mace to the mace to the mace to the face!" - if you have even seen a brig player (which is honestly rare) you will understand.
pharah: "justice rains from the ground" or "rain justices from above" - both are just pharah having a stroke, after the mercy changes the mercy no longer wants to heal so without her pocket shes gone mad.
dva: "pressing Q!" or "check this POTG!" - ight obvious joke aside, anyone else find it wierd how she says "POTG" instead of spelling it out?
roadhog: "you get scrap, and you get scrap" - roadhog is oprah confirmed.
sombra: "propaganda is useless" - a reference to how nobody knows what the fuck sombra is actually saying cus i couldn't be bothered to learn spanish.
echo: "im better than you at... (hero)" - (hero) diff + L
baptiste: "shoot through the box, THROUGH the box!" - tbh even that doesn't help my teammates half the time cus i swear they avoid it
winston: "ROAR!..... wiston!" - winston (also 90% sure this is a pokemon joke, don't quote me on that
genji: "SHING SHING SHING SHING SHING!" - a reference to actual noises i make to act like im cooler than i actually am while using dragonblade
rammatra (long rant) - yeah im not writing the whole thing here, tbh it could be a reference to something or it could be a Mr hippo from ultimate custom night tier shitpost
lucio: "lets get a noise complaint!" - idk if this triggers for your teammates using the ult aswell, but just thought id throw it in.
also not a voiceline but im also jsut now realising that they added eyes to the payload in havana and probably others, not just players this time, did they do that last year or is this new?

In 2021, my girlfriend got pregnant, and we had to do an abortion. It was due to financial reasons and the fact that her parents were reputable people in my country. Our next step was to apply for a student visa to move to Australia, but I was rejected, and I had to go to a Middle Eastern country to work my way up, and she went to Australia for studies, and we were hoping one day we could be together again. After 6 months away from me, she met a guy on Tinder, and they went on one date, smoking flowers (we both smoke, so it’s normal). He invited her to his place, and she did the deed, and she told me the next morning that he had forced himself on her. (This guy was from our same country.) And after that happened, I started talking to a girl and fell for her slowly. But me and my girl never stopped talking; some how, one day, she got to know about this and texted that new girl. They added me to a group call and said I was a bad guy for doing that to both of them. Then I asked my girl to come to the country where I live so we could be here and hopefully start a new life. And she came after a few weeks. She stayed with me for 4 months and got really sick. I took care of her like no other and gave her all the love and care I could muster. I feel like this is the time I fell in love with her again after she betrayed me; sadly, her parents again forced her to go back to Australia. So she had to leave. I only told her three times to stay with me. However, she had to listen to her parents, and I respected her decision and helped her go back to Australia. Then again, this time she went to another city to one of her friends' houses (a girl), and she's dating a local guy. During this time, she went clubbing with her friend and her boyfriend. The next day, she told me she had some drinks and had passed out. This was very odd for me. Everything was off again, and I know when I get this feeling that something is not right. I kept asking her if anything happened; she always said no, and then one day she accidentally sent me a screenshot of a guy's profile (that was meant to be sent to her best friend). I knew she would delete it, so I took a screenshot of it. Then I asked her who it was, and she told me that it was her friend's boyfriend. but still, it was off. So I texted that guy who was on the screenshot via Facebook, and she got pissed because of it. Then I had to know why she was acting like that and kept calling me crazy for doing that, so I called that guy. He told me that he's really the best friend of that other chick, and they met in the club and kissed each other while dancing, and after that they all walked back to her friend's place, where she was all over him, and while watching a movie, he fingered her. And he stayed the night, but they didn’t fuck. When I asked for it the first time, she denied it. Then I texted her friend and asked her to tell me the truth because it was her responsibility. She told me the truth, and my girl admitted it really happened after one whole week. And the reason for her doing that to me was because that guy made her feel happy at the club at first. When he kissed her, she kissed him back, so that means she was in for it and it was a conscious decision.
I feel lost and weak.
All her friends called me crazy when I was right all along.
Should I forgive her again and start over or move on? Moving on will be challenging for me.

In 2021, my girlfriend got pregnant, and we had to do an abortion. It was due to financial reasons and the fact that her parents were reputable people in my country. Our next step was to apply for a student visa to move to Australia, but I was rejected, and I had to go to a Middle Eastern country to work my way up, and she went to Australia for studies, and we were hoping one day we could be together again. After 6 months away from me, she met a guy on Tinder, and they went on one date, smoking flowers (we both smoke, so it’s normal). He invited her to his place, and she did the deed, and she told me the next morning that he had forced himself on her. (This guy was from our same country.) And after that happened, I started talking to a girl and fell for her slowly. But me and my girl never stopped talking; some how, one day, she got to know about this and texted that new girl. They added me to a group call and said I was a bad guy for doing that to both of them. Then I asked my girl to come to the country where I live so we could be here and hopefully start a new life. And she came after a few weeks. She stayed with me for 4 months and got really sick. I took care of her like no other and gave her all the love and care I could muster. I feel like this is the time I fell in love with her again after she betrayed me; sadly, her parents again forced her to go back to Australia. So she had to leave. I only told her three times to stay with me. However, she had to listen to her parents, and I respected her decision and helped her go back to Australia. Then again, this time she went to another city to one of her friends' houses (a girl), and she's dating a local guy. During this time, she went clubbing with her friend and her boyfriend. The next day, she told me she had some drinks and had passed out. This was very odd for me. Everything was off again, and I know when I get this feeling that something is not right. I kept asking her if anything happened; she always said no, and then one day she accidentally sent me a screenshot of a guy's profile (that was meant to be sent to her best friend). I knew she would delete it, so I took a screenshot of it. Then I asked her who it was, and she told me that it was her friend's boyfriend. but still, it was off. So I texted that guy who was on the screenshot via Facebook, and she got pissed because of it. Then I had to know why she was acting like that and kept calling me crazy for doing that, so I called that guy. He told me that he's really the best friend of that other chick, and they met in the club and kissed each other while dancing, and after that they all walked back to her friend's place, where she was all over him and while watching a movie he fingered her. And he stayed the night, but they didn’t fuck. When I asked for it the first time, she denied it. Then I texted her friend and asked her to tell me the truth because it was her responsibility. She told me the truth, and my girl admitted it really happened after one whole week. And the reason for her doing that to me was because that guy made her feel happy at the club at first. When he kissed her, she kissed him back, so that means she was in for it and it was a conscious decision.
I feel lost and weak.
All her friends called me crazy when I was right all along.
Should I forgive her again and start over or move on? Moving on will be challenging for me.

My name is Wren, but I also go by Toast. I'm 19 AMAB NB Genderfluid person in San francisco. I play DnD, ttrpgs, rpgs, fighting games, and meme games. I love to watch anime, horror films and memes, also YouTube and tik tok. I am a huge culinary arts nerd. I have Adhd and Autism, so I'm fairly neurodivergent.
I'm looking to hopefully find a partner or two, or whatever it is I find. I'm poly, and Pansexual, just perfer other trans people. I'm fine with long distances or 100% happy with a California resident, bonus points if you're in San Francisco. Send me a chat on here, I have discord too, just ask me for it. No Cis men!