Kahlert funeral home in maysville nc

My dad recently died and I feel the funeral home have neglected him, he was moved last week to a closer one to home after being prepared to be viewed including embalming. We have now been told he can’t be viewed due to decomposing skin slipping and an infestation they said a fly must have got in. I feel like this isn’t normal and that level of deterioration wouldn’t happen in the space of a day. How often does this happen. Is this a normal thing. Can someone please advise me because Google has no answers.

So I 17f was with my now ex 19m he did so much to make me feel like shi. And I keep catching myself wanting to get some kind of revenge on him. I know I shouldn’t but let me give you the gust of things. In the beginning he was very jealous and overprotective, but wouldn’t get mad at the guy he’d get mad at me. Ok, we somewhat work past that still have issues oh well they’ll work themselves out. Atleast that’s what I thought he slowly stopped doing anything. And I mean anything he wouldn’t clean his house brush his teeth or even do laundry really. He’d wash the clothes he’d need for tomorrow. And few months before we broke up he lied to me that a girl on his phone was “family” didn’t see him cheating went through his phone one night cause of it. I mean the s*x wasn’t even good but jeez if I didn’t want to he’d make me feel bad sayin I didn’t want him and all that. Made me feel bad about buying me stuff when he’s the one that said buying stuff is his love language. I told him to stop buying me things, that I didn’t care about that I just wanted long talks and wild flowers. Made jokes that he spent this on so many ppl and just me and him costed more for our dates. Told me it was like tossing a hotdog down a hallway once (he’s the only person I’d been with btw). If I tried talking about anything and how it made me feel he’d throw a fit, saying he will just stop joking with me all together cause it always makes me upset. But then if I said he’d blatantly do it to upset me he say oh Yk I’m an A-whole . He wouldn’t even be there for me when I had to go to 3 different funerals with him he never went. I went to the only funeral he had to go to that happened the first few months we was together. He did so little yet so much to him that what I was doing was nothing compared to what effort he put in. Like what effort dude you left me stranded one time and went to sleep but if he even had a flat tire I was makin sure he made it home. Sorry everytime I think I’m done more pops up. It’s so frustrating I get I’m not perfect but why’s he have to be like that. He even tried convincing me that I cheated on him when all I did was play basketball with my friend once they quit playing horse. He was there so I was like why didn’t you break up with me then and he had nothing to say then. And he blocks me and tells me he wasted 2 years on me. I drove myself nuts trying to stay with him. ( Ik you’ll think I’m dumb for stayin understand he’s my first long term relationship and I wanted it to work so badly.)

Company Name	Title	City
BAYADA Home Health Care	Registered Nurse	Albemarle
BAYADA Home Health Care	Registered Nurse	Concord
BAYADA Home Health Care	Registered Nurse	Lexington
Nu-Tec Systems	Customer Service Representative	Mooresville
The Adecco Group	Warehouse Associate	Apex
The Adecco Group	Storeman	Apex
The Adecco Group	Warehouse Worker	Apex
Whole Foods Market	Assistant Store Manager	Asheville
CarolinaEast Health System	RN, Nursing Resource	Bayboro
CarolinaEast Health System	CRNA, Anesthesia	Bayboro
CarolinaEast Health System	Home Health RN, Home Health	Bayboro
American National Bank and Trust Co.	Relationship Banker - Floater	Burlington
CarolinaEast Health System	Cardiologist 86360	Camp Lejeune
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (Experienced RN) - Adult PACU - Duke University Hospital 36hrs	Chapel Hill
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (RN) - Duke Health - General Surgery Trauma Stepdown (Unit 8300)	Chapel Hill
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (Experienced) - Duke University Hospital - Operating Room - Orthopedics - PRN	Chapel Hill
Five Guys	Shift Lead - Starting at 16.00-18.00- Northcrest	Charlotte
Schleich GmbH	Manager Ecommerce	Charlotte
Duke Health	Service Access Nurse - Oncology Cancer Diagnostic Clinic Durham, NC	Durham
Duke Health	Registered Nurse - Duke University Hospital - General Medicine Stepdown (8 East) - PRN	Durham
Duke Health	Gastroenterologist	Efland
Duke Health	Surgical Technologist-Operating Room	Efland
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (New or Experienced RN) - DUH - Adult Medicine Stepdown (4300)	Efland
Travel Nurse Across America	Progressive Care Unit - PCU RN - TravelNurse	Elizabeth City
UniFirst	Maintenance Custodian - UniFirst	Fayetteville

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in nc. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

I am 22F and my parent (we’ll call K) is about 60M. (I’ll use they/them for anonymity) The more that I read other people’s stories the more I realize that my parent is most likely emotionally immature and a narcissistic. I need help setting boundaries but the guilt is very strong because I feel like I’m just being mean. It’ll be easier for me to make a list so here’s some examples of their behavior.
They fake cry when I leave the house. Literally they stand like a child, lips puckered pretending to sob.
Asked me if I actually loved them because I spent the week house sitting for my family instead of staying with them.
They fixate on me being little. Every conversation is always about what we did when I was little. When I was little I said they could live with me so I have to “keep my word”. When I was little I used to play with them. I’m an adult and they don’t accept it.
I have a partner of over two years and I basically stay with them now unless I go to K’s on the weekend to hang out with my sibling. I’m made to feel guilty about it. They’ll call saying they “just want their (nickname)” and that they miss me. They also refer to themselves in the third person. If I leave or don’t go they’ll say things like “you don’t love K?”
I’m NC with my mom. If the conversation isn’t about me being little, it’s about how awful my mom is and how wonderful K is. How they’d never do what she did and they did so much for us when we were little and were the best parent. I can’t talk to them because every conversation spirals to those two topics, even when I say no. They’ll start by saying “I know you don’t wanna hear this but your mom…”
They ask for reassurance all the time. Do I love them? Is the gift they got me two years ago worthy enough?
They always get super anxious and worried when I go out with my partner. I know the world is scary but I was basically trained to stay inside and go nowhere as a kid. I went to a concert with my partner and two other people recently and K texted me in the middle of it asking if I was coming home yet because they were so worried they couldn’t sleep. It was ten pm.
They’ll make plans with friends then cancel using my sibling and I as an excuse. They don’t have a social life or prioritize themselves because they’re fixated on taking care of me and my adult sibling. I told them recently to stop and that we’re adults now but they kept shooting me down and wouldn’t listen.
There’s so much more I could go on about, like how I was their therapist as a child. They’d talk about my mom “cheating” and wanting to leave her because of how unhappy they were with her. I couldn’t go out because of how I looked. Once they said I couldn’t go for a walk because of my hair (they didn’t want people to look at me) so I felt and still feel ashamed for trying to look pretty. When my mom told them I was uncomfortable with constant hugs and kisses they threw a fit saying I didn’t love them anymore. I feel like I have to tip toe and that I’m responsible for their happiness, which is unreasonable but I’ve also made posts here before about K and gotten told that I’m being unreasonable and that I shouldn’t be with my partner as much because I’m too young for a serious relationship. How I should be nice because they probably miss my mom after the split up many years ago. I feel so guilty everyday but I just want space and want to learn how to set boundaries before I snap on K because I can’t even talk to them anymore without getting instantly irritated. Any help would be appreciated.

If my sister directly told me she wanted to work on our relationship and talk about why I cut her off, I would be so relieved and happy.
But rather than being direct with me, she sends me little gifts, memes, dog photos, etc. Trying to change the topic. Draw me back in.
Her messages always go unanswered. But they irritate me.
Last Christmas I cut her off when she exaggerated a embarrassing story about me to a new partner l brought home to meet everyone. I called her a mean person and let her know I was furious with her. (No apology follow, just a "sorry didn't mean to upset you)
It is part of a pattern of her relishing in opportunities to make me feel bad about myself. She's done it for years.
Recently, I dog sat for my parents for almost 2 weeks. I stopped the NC since my parents were in another county, in case there is an emergency.
Rather than thanking me for house sitting for my family and offering to send me a few bucks to buy them a meal when they got back, she asked "if I left them any groceries or anything"
Annnnnd boom. I'm furious. Not only did I do an inconvenient service for my family for weeks, but my sister is casually implying she thinks it's not enough and that I just ate all their food and left. Keep in mind, my parents are able bodied people. They can do their own shopping
My question is this: should I tell her to leave me alone and stop sending me Instagram memes, gifts, friendly texts, etc? I usually just ignore her but I fucking hate her honestly. I'm so tired of receiving stuff from her. I want her to completely LEAVE ME ALONE.
I have her number blocked and muted on Instagram and whatnot but it's not enough. I just don't want to give her the satisfaction of letter her know she's getting to me. See my other post. I want closure and peace finally.
What do I tell her?
Thank you so much friends ❤️😔

Maybe you resonate with some of these. I was journaling and wanted to share today's entry. Let's be here together right now. I know it is my subjective lens, but maybe it is validating.

1. LOVE. There was an intense level of intermittent reinforcement / classical conditioning surrounding love, affection, sex, and happiness. Think about a slot machine in a casino. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't. You remember the one time you got the big jackpot though, right? You know it is possible to get it again, you just need to keep feeding the machine with money. You cannot get the jackpot consistently, but it feels euphoric when you do get it. You might end up broke in the end.
2. MEMORIES. The super significant moments you cannot stop and think about lest you cry and break down wanting to contact them. This hits differently from any other breakup or sexual encounter you had in the past. Why can you let ex-partner A and ex-partner B go? You can recall that time you had a sweet moment, and it does not hurt or stop you from putting your pants on. That is because of point 1. A and B were not BPD. They did not feel like a Jackpot, but they also did not feel like walking out of the casino with nothing left to your name and dignity. So these memories can rest, be with you, and they are tolerable. (Please add to this point.)
3. FEAR. The fear you have about retaliation, blackmail, stalking, being murdered, abused, threatened, etc. (maybe not all apply to you). THE FEAR. Fear lives in our (brain) amygdala and is an emotion felt due to literal chemicals firing at abnormal levels when in a relationship with a pwBPD. That changes you. You can wish it away, pray it away, and talk endlessly about it. You went through a trauma. Not a small trauma either. You cannot be the person you used to be. This fear you were subjected to really happened, and now you have to build around the pain, anger, and suffering of that.
4. GUILT. Let's acknowledge this one. You left, or you were discarded. If you left, they did not make it easy. You took care of them and were borderline (hah) their parent figure. You feel a mix of relief and worry (fear). But this time, not about yourself, but about them. You might ask, "How sick of me, this person took every ounce of my dignity away, but I want them to be OK. I hope they are. I worry they aren't." Well, that is a testament to your good. What if you acted like someone you don't recognize? You lashed out, and reacted to their abuse? That is more evidence that this is not your person- this was trauma. You do not go from stable, sane, and level-headed, to vengeful...without causality. On the same theme of guilt: maybe you still have sexual thoughts of this person. Ready for my insight on this? So what? You can have thoughts on thoughts. Your thoughts are harmless, even if you cry after, or feel bad about it. Stop worrying that your last moment alone to pleasure yourself involved them. Let's face it, you aren't getting off to reality, so why not get an orgasm? Feel free to add to this in the comments.
5. TEMPTATION. You maybe feel like you have tried to stay away. Maybe you tried and didn't stick with NC a billion times. While certainly discouraging and defeating, I believe that we learn something new each and every time we try. You have demonstrated evidence of intense strength to step away. You are only human. The fabrication of love is an intense emotion, even with all the cluster B "facts".
6. SADNESS. You are slow-moving, you are dark. You are someone you do not recognize. You fear that you will never be YOU, ever again. Do not run from your darkness. Let yourself be dark, sad, moody, and slow. Take your time. You were abused. Block out what anyone tells you. Get what you need to get done, done...and if you can do the bare minimum, you are a goddamn superhero. I mean it. You might feel hopeless that this does not ever go away. I believe that it isn't about making it go away. It is about taking every moment and being authentic. Choosing the best for yourself is not always easy.
7. CHILDHOOD. Something about this person brought you back to this innocent place. I am labeling it as childhood. Maybe that isn't fitting, but it feels right. This person felt like "home" and that is because there might be truth to that. It is highly likely that their behavior replicated a situation, relationship, or memory you have had from an early age. Was mom unstable? Did Dad drink? Were you the middle child? Scapegoat? Were you parentified? Something about this relationship brought you back to a delicate spot that your unconscious may be trying to replicate.

​
Thanks for reading my thoughts. Hope some of you feel less alone. Thank god Reddit is anonymous. Add your feelings to it if you want. <3

I’m really tired of life. § < - > 2023-06-04 19:24
: . . seek renewal § < Zombie-Fungus > 2023-06-04 19:24-5
: . . Quit ignoring your kid, VentCent § < - > 2023-06-04 19:25
: . . : . . That's not me and I don't ignore my kids. § < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:26
: . . : . . : . . Yes you do. Kids, jobs, relationships be dammed < - > 2023-06-04 19:29+5
This place is your whole life.
: . . : . . : . . : . . LoL. No it isn't. I wasn't here most of yesterda < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:32
y. I work M-F 7:30am-5:00pm, just get bored at work a lot. My oldest is 21 and does their own thing as they are an adult and my 11 year old is old enough to do her own things too. She plays Minecraft, TikToks, or watches TV, or hangs out with friends. She is not a baby.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . You're here constantly, to the detriment of < - > 2023-06-04 19:36
everything else in your life that matters. Your mom thinks you're a joke; who knows where your father or anyone else in your family is. All that matters to you is YOU. And that's it!
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . My mom doesn't think I am a joke. That's silly. < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:41
My dad is at his house alone right now, but he just visited with me the other day too because his wife went to go visit the Phillipines. Most of my family is alive and well, except my grandmother. I don't know why you are so concerned over a complete stranger like me and my family. That's odd behavior. Most anonymous strangers could care less.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . don't feed the trolls § < - > 2023-06-04 19:43
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I couldn't tell if that onewas trolling or not. < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:45
Maybe baiting? 🤷‍♀️
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . when someone who doesn't know you < - > 2023-06-04 19:48
starts fictionalizing your personal life, you know they're off their meds and should be ignored.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Point taken. lol § < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:49
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . You're the one who called your mom a < - > 2023-06-04 19:46
bitch on here. Several times in fact. Your father seems to want to keep his distance, and so does the rest of your family. You ignore your daughter in favor of trolling here 25 hours a day.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . you have a heavy investment in the life < - > 2023-06-04 19:47
of a stranger you will never meet.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . First of all, I'm glad I will never meet this < - > 2023-06-04 19:50+5
piece if shit. Secondly, she floods the forum with her narcissism pretty much 24/7. If only we can all band together and flag this vile creature off.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . get a psychiatrist § < - > 2023-06-04 19:50+5
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Don't need one. But I'm getting the feeling you < - > 2023-06-04 19:52
have need of one.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . you're the sociopathic troll < - > 2023-06-04 19:53
but people with severe disorders will never admit their sickness.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Morgan-LeFay: THAT'S the sociopath, right < - > 2023-06-04 19:55
there.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Yeah, now this seems more like baiting. lol § < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:50
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . You're not exactly known for high intellect § < - > 2023-06-04 19:53
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I'm more intelligent than most, of course my < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 20:00
genius is not recognized here because this is just a place to mentally pass the time away in this silly void, not to write research papers. My college days are over. I'm happy with my Associates and Bachelor's degrees. Those are good enough for me. This place is mostly a pure time wasting entertainment source.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . What a joke < - > 2023-06-04 20:03+5
You're definitely not genius material by any stretch and passing the time away? You're here with all your pathetic alts 24/7.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I actually am not. You just think that for some < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 20:04
weird reason.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Yeah, because actually do § < - > 2023-06-04 20:05
: . . : . . : . . Hey, ask Ryan if he knows what happened to < - > 2023-06-04 19:29
Orko.
: . . : . . : . . 🫶 an owl hooted at me tonight < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:30
I hope this doesn’t offend you 💕
: . . : . . : . . : . . Doesn't offend me any. As long as you don't < Morgan-LeFay > 2023-06-04 19:33
mind it spying on you.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I put on a lil show for it & < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:41
We recently invested in a new owl House 🏡… so what does that tell you ? ✨🫶🦉📡✨👋🌙🫧😇🫶
: . . Snack & nap 👑 < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:25
It gets better 🌙
: . . : . . It hasn’t helped. But thanks. :) § < - > 2023-06-04 19:26
: . . : . . : . . Maybe try some cannabis if you’re able 👑🫶🫧 < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:28
Put on a silly movie & forget about the world for a while.
Escape ✨
: . . I'm really tired of working. < - > 2023-06-04 19:25
I feel ya. It can be a struggle but you are here for a reason.
: . . : . . I’m tired of the paraphrasing & fake media🪄 < - > 2023-06-04 19:27
But nahhhhhhhhh It’s totally the “””” shared accolades “”””””🫶 & “”wild coincidence””” 💙 Ooooph 🤡📡📻🐷💍
: . . : . . Do you really believe that? There is no reason < - > 2023-06-04 19:27
I’m here. None. Just pain and suffering.
: . . : . . : . . There’s always a reason.. < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:29
Might not make sense right now.. But there’s always a reason & you’re stronger than you know. You’re just stuck. Get unstuck 🎤💕🌙🥹☀️🏡
: . . : . . : . . I do. I thought my reason for life was to < - > 2023-06-04 19:48+5
take care of my parents when they got old and now they are gone. There is something I need to do before he calls me home.
: . . I'm just the opposite, I'm really tired of death < --- > 2023-06-04 19:32
It seems like I have a funeral to attend almost every week. I'm tired of losing friends and family.
: . . : . . I’m sorry. I’m envious of people who die. § < - > 2023-06-04 19:36+5
: . . : . . : . . Every day you’re born again 🥳 < Poe_little-call > 2023-06-04 19:40
What you do matters. Tomorrow is a new day. Give life another chance, take what you have, make it what you want 🥰
: . . : . . : . . It's just part of growing older I guess. < --- > 2023-06-04 19:53
Ty. I wish I could show you the new wildlife that I am fortunate to see every year. It sure seems to rejuvenate my spirit, and to pick up my step.
: . . : . . : . . : . . What do you do that you get to see wildlife? Do < - > 2023-06-04 19:57
You work outdoors or something.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I do work outside, which is nice, < --- > 2023-06-04 20:17
and I'm fortunate to live in a place that is teeming with wildlife.
For instance, I had a local cow moose give birth to her twins on my property just recently, and I'd just got home from work in time to see the second twin born. I was also able to see a mountain goat two days ago with her new kids, while on a hike... and new bear cubs and whale calves, swans and loons... Etc.
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . What do you do? Just in general obviously. § < - > 2023-06-04 20:22
: . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I'm a tradesman in the construction sector. < --- > 2023-06-04 20:47
My job site changes often, which I usually love, and with seniority and a good reputation I'm seldom without a call in the Hall. I'm ready to retire, though, and to do something else.

We (me hubs and teen) are west coasters and our families are east coast. Both have aging parents. Visited my hubs family in April and met all of hubs needs (he hates traveling) such as staying in a specific hotel, rental car, etc. we had a great trip and hubs was onl rude to me once in front of his family. We have no summer plans. Hubs hates to plan I advance and I have to to all the navigation. So - i decided to visit my family in NC. Hubs hates NC. Teen kiddo hasn’t seen my family in a few years. I proposed to go for a week in late Aug with the kiddo before schools starts and hubs is all off the chain about it. Also, my dad has dementia and my sister needs a break from care duties so my visit will help her too. Hubs excuses 1. Says we just traveled to see his family. So we cant do two in one year. 2. I just visited my dad solo in Feb. Note: I was there to help out with my dad to give sister a break. 3. I can only go if ….I meet some of his demands. 4. What are we going to do about the dog? Neighbor can walk her while we are gone. That’s what we do now. 5. I can buy the tickets on his terms when he’s ready 🤦‍♀️I said I’ll buy them not while they. Are still cheap. Why pay double if $$ is the issue 6. Says I don’t care about his opinion never do🫤 8. Can I delay the trip to next year so he can go? My answer was why can’t we do both. If we budget for it . 7. He says I should be focusing on my family at home and not my family in NC when the weather is good. 8. Then spirals into that I don’t care about him……
I let him know if it was him wanting to visit his family I’d be supportive.
Why is my desire to spend a week with my family now all about him?

I saw him walking home from school with his friends whilst i was driving, so i parked down the street where i thought he would walk and he walked RIGHT PAST MY CAR.
I haven’t seen him in almost 2 years after i left my toxic and abusive home. He was still young and didn’t have a phone but he’s in his early 10’s now. Mother dearest tried her hardest to not allow me contact with him after going NC with her, she did the same when one of my older sisters also left. My brothers are so far up my mom’s ass and wouldn’t let us have his phone number when he got a phone so I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. I miss him so much and HE WAS RIGHT THERE!
He was so much taller but still had his cute little baby face. I was going to roll my window down and say hi but so many things were going through my mind. My fear of rejection kicked in but also my fear of him being told off for speaking to me. My brain felt like it was going 100mph in the small amount of time it took for him to walk past me. My hand was right on my horn to honk at him. My mom and brothers used to say awful things about my sister when she left in front of him and he picked up on it and completely ignored her when he saw her. I know for a fact she’s done the same to me and I don’t want to put him in that uncomfortable situation but I do desperately want to just talk to him and see how he is!
We had such a good relationship, I made sure to spend time with him as he’s significantly younger than the rest of us, I taught him how to ride a bike and rode with him each summer. I didn’t leave home earlier because I didn’t want to leave him but my moms abuse only stretched to us girls. I miss him so much I wish I said something

It was a regular day. I would get high with my gf all the time. Everyday almost. I stopped taking so many pills she kept going. Months went by I stopped messing with it she kept going. Xanax was our shit for real. Then I came home from work and she was cold as ice. I didn’t know she was dead at that point. I try to wake her. She had problems sleeping and used the Xanax as a high and sleep aid. I went to get a cup of water and poured it on her face no muscle reaction no nothing. I began to panic. I shake her. She just is motionless. In my mind I said she is dead but I couldn’t accept it. I call 911 I’m frantically panicking. Following instructions from 911 I put my hands on her chest and say 1 2 3. As I wait for the ambulance to arrive. I begin pleading with god asking can I take her place. Please let us switch! Then I start becoming angry with god because he wasn’t hearing me! Ambulance arrives they begin trying all they could. I’m in the other room. I can hear them say she is already in rigor mortis. I began to cry loudly. Then reality sits in my grandfather came to console me. I then had to let her mother know that her daughter passed. She was in disbelief. Never have had to do something that was so hard in my life. She comes down to see her daughter in a body bag. Her loud cry’s play over and over in my head. This happened in 2020 and it feels as fresh as yesterday. I blame myself over and over. Had I done this or I had I changed this. The burden on me is staggering. all I’m left with is anger. So much fiery anger. That it overcomes everything . After they got her body her family began looking at me crazy. They wanted to blame me and I’m okay with that. Had I been a better man it wouldn’t have happened right. Fast forward to the funeral. When I entered the whole church looked at me as if I was satan him self. So much grief was on my heart and still is. The anger has not left me in the slightest. I use it to get up everyday and try my best at everything I do. It was a job I applied for that she said to me this is a life changer for you. Today I work the shit out that job. I get promotions and complimented all the time. Not knowing this is the only way I feel close to her. The burden I carry I’m fine with it. My only wish is to heal her family and friends. If it means they must hate me for life to cope then I’m okay with that. I miss her everyday. I randomly cry. I don’t want nobody to help me with this burden. It is my journey my path I will conquer it and it won’t ever conquer me. I apologize for grammar this felt good to get off my chest.

First time poster, long time lurker.
I have been thinking about posting for a long time, but I never knew what to share. Trust me, there is enough shit had happened in my 27 years that could be a potential post here (or in other subreddits).
My dad is a narcissistic alcoholist (I guess many of you know this type of animal), so my childhood was about lies, manipulation and other delicious stuff that could and would cause trauma. Later on he decided to make our lifes more spicier, so he started to drink. More and more, until lost track of time, lost jobs, and more importantly, his sanity.
I’m from an East-European country, alcoholism was part of my family since I can remember, both on my parents sides. So, I’m totally aware there is no perfect family. My mom was the enabling parent for many years. She tried her best to show the world she could change my dad with love and support. Maybe, for a time, she was able to, but as we all may know, the lovebombing periode ends sooner or later.
My dad tried to show the world that he could do anything what he decided to do. His goals were always get bigger and bigger things, nothing was ever enough (this has caused a lot of trauma for me too, even tho I’m the first one in our family having an university degree at all, and even in a science field, I do not feel that it was ever enough). Then 2008 came, and his spending habits were not a match for our family’s income. As many dads in that time, he decided to go to West Europe to get a job, and provide for his family left behind. However, this gave a big opportunity to my mom to heal and get her life together. Ofc, this was one of the biggest nightmare of a narcissist, therefore he convinced my mom (whom just lost her job thanks to downsizing) to move to the country with us where he was currently working.
He had no idea how to do it, but somehow he managed it. Unknown to my mother (or she was not willing to see and admit it) he has been already struggling with his addiction. The following 9,5 years were a really expensive and sometime life threatening rollercoaster ride. Thanks to my dads impulsive actions, addictions and unwilling to see how the world works.
One of his favourite hobby was to not pay bills. Not because he couldn’t afford it (there were times too, when he didn’t applied for social security because why should he when he lost his job), but because he didn’t want to pay those bills. Debts on debts, DUIs. My favourite day was Sunday for a very long time because no post, and noone who would call/be at the door to share new debts with me. Of course I was always the one had to get those news, and also try to solve them. Alone, from the age of 16. There has been 2 almost evictions in our lives in less than 2 years. Thanks to my ability to work my ass off I could always save some money, and pay things, otherwise… I don’t want to know what would happen to us.
I was working my ass off, so I could pay my tuituion fee’s for university, healt care, actually, everything. I even paid bills at home, and did bigger groceries when my parents had less money. I was always the one who was ‘asked’ (more like demanded) to solve all the problems my dad has been causing. He loved to cause troubles and hide them, until the consequences were so big, it was impossible to hide them anymore.
I honestly thought I would end up living with them until they die, because I was always afraid my mom would en up on the street with my lil sister. In despair, loneliness and in so, so much anger.
While my dad was expecting my help, I was always the scapegoat in his eyes. Not being able to pay something? Well, it’s because he is providing for ME. Paying MY university and all my needs. He did not pay my studies since I’m 14. Not even a book. But in his imaginary world, oh, he was the perfect husband and dad, and I was the little brat who dared to tell him his late night trips to the pub and all his alcohol consumption costs us more than €100 per week. And my mom? She told me to shut my mouth, because then there will be less conflict in the house, and she didn’t need a reminder how my father was and what he was doing (and causing problems again).
You might thing why the hell I share these things. I wanted to give you an idea (even tho you probably have an idea already, otherwise you would be not on this subreddit) what were the dynamics in our family before the big change.
There was a time when I thought I lost my mom too. However, she got her courage, realized if this is going to continue, she would en up on the street with my dad, and without her daughters. We were ready to leave everything behind, to start a new life somewhere with the three of us. However, on the 24th of December in 2021, my dad was so aggressive and drunk, we had to call the police. Again. (He hit me many times, caused concussions, broke few of my toes, etc). However, this time, they took him away, and he couldn’t come back. My mother’s first thing to do was after Christmas to contact a divorce lawyer, and start the process. The following year was hard, I’m not gonna lie. My dad was harassing and stalking my mom, sometimes even my little sister. I just got a few hateful e-mails how ‘my evil plan’ had worked. However, we all maintaneid NC with him.
Financially, emotionally and mentally we are doing so, so, so much better since then. My mom had realized she could provide for herself, and she will be even able to save some money without my dad here. My future plan, to survive in this toxic environment, had been changed. I got my bachelor, got a job, and I have the most supporting and loveliest boyfriend ever, which is a big thing, because a never wanted to end up like mom. In a toxic relationship without respect and love. Also, my father’s systematic downstalk didn’t help either where he would gladly tell me how horrible person I am, and noone ever could love me.
I was able to change my attitude from ‘these are just dreams’ to ‘these are my goals’. I have less and less nightmares. Therapy, books and podcats about the things I have been through are also helping a lot. I’m looking forward to the next year, which is such a strange thing to feel without fear. I would never imagine that life can be so peaceful.
Thank you very much for reading my post. I hope, even if you are stills truggiling in an environment where surviving is the only option, will also find a way out and can start your journey to find yourself. Again.

Article: Here
NEW YORK — A prominent Long Island funeral home director and frequent donor to GOP causes was arrested Wednesday and charged by federal prosecutors with spraying wasp insecticide at police officers during the Jan. 6 attack at the Capitol.
Peter G. Moloney, who campaign finance records show has given thousands of dollars to GOP campaigns and committees — including Donald Trump, the Republican National Committee and Lee Zeldin, a former congressman and New York gubernatorial candidate — was also charged with assaulting a member of the media. Moloney is slated to make his initial appearance at a federal courthouse on Long Island on Wednesday afternoon.
He is being prosecuted by the U.S. attorney’s office for the District of Columbia. A lawyer for Moloney didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
According to court documents, Moloney, 58, used Black Flag Wasp, Hornet & Yellow Jacket Killer spray to attack police officers several times while wearing gear to protect himself, including a helmet and protective eyewear.
Moloney also attacked an Associated Press photographer “by grabbing onto his camera and pulling, causing him to stumble down the stairs,” according to court filings. He punched and shoved the photographer away from the Capitol’s West Plaza, and other rioters pushed the photographer over a wall, prosecutors alleged.
Additional pictures included in the charging documents show Moloney attempting to grab a second journalist’s camera. Though the filing only identifies the journalist as “N.Q.,” POLITICO has confirmed that the initials represent Nick Quested, a well-known filmmaker who was a witness for the Jan. 6 select committee and at the recent seditious conspiracy trial of members of the Proud Boys leadership. Quested’s footage has been crucial evidence for both prosecutors and the committee over the past two years.
Prosecutors nodded to the support of an online group of open-source researchers — dubbed the Sedition Hunters — in identifying Moloney, linking to videos posted by accounts associated with the group, which has been pursuing evidence related to Moloney for two years.
Federal authorities indicated in court filings that they may charge another person who works with Moloney at the funeral home and who attended the Jan. 6 attack with him. Prosecutors did not identify the second person.

How can anyone ever trust this person again? She’s young & I do think eventually she will move on, but knowing that she did this to her best friend (and the person who always had her back & defended her fiercely) if she was your friend, would you ever trust her completely? Would you feel comfortable having her around your significant other? It’s not like she just did it once, it was an ongoing diabolical choice to sneak around right in front of her friend for several months. She had sex with him in her friends home right after her dog died, when she was at her grandmother’s funeral & when she was asleep in the next room. It honestly makes me think, who would ever trust her in the future? Thoughts?

My gf and I have been going through it for a while now. Mainly cuz she has been skipping 2-3 days of work consistently for 4-5 months now. No one agreed to this. But she doesn't seem to care. Her excuse is because she has appointments (one a day), mental health issues, or is 'sick'. I know shes not sick because she claims she was throwing up a bunch but then comes home and eats a bunch of fast food and watches tv and is suddenly fine.
It's causing financial issues of course. We agreed that we were going to start planning for kids with our bf. I am to get pregnant first as I am older. We need to pay off loans and credit cards. She has substantial debt. And her not working is halting that goal severely. She cant pay bills on time and always needs to borrow money. My bf is really irritated with this too. We have fights about it.
We are in couples counseling. Its going well. We like. There are plenty of other reasons we are in there I won't get into. In our own time we have figured out a way to get her to go to work more. I knew the issue was that she didn't want to go to the office (she takes off the 2 -3 days shes supposed to be in the office). It's literally a 4 minute drive from the house. Her issue was dhe couldn't drive on anxiety meds.eye roll ok ill pick you up if you need to take them.. she agreed! Awesome. Okay, problem solved. Lets see if it comes to fruition. Its been a week.
Now her gma died. I feel bad for her of course. She took the last two days off. That is cool. I get it. She is supposed to go in today. I am up super early and we have a network outage. So I have to go to the office. And she will get to stay home. Im sure she will be thrilled. She wins again. Also she said she is going out of state for the funeral. Thats fine. Can you afford it? Well I just wont be able to catch up on bills... WOW!

This is the first time I (30 F ) have ever posted to reddit. Buckle up this is going to be rough. As long as I can remember I was afraid of lets call him A for asshole, A has had issues most of his life, as an adult now I see very clearly. He is an abusive narcissist, I am the middle child/black sheep of this trash family. My older sister and younger brother were also victims so was my mother, but she also was an enabler, physically abusive occasionally and neglectful for sure. One night when I was 16 a physical altercation broke out between my parents my mother picked up a knife and held it in front of her to protect her self after he hit her a few times. I was in the room at the time and quickly put myself between the knife and him( even with a weapon in her hand she was not a threat to me at this point ) he looked into my soul with those narc eyes ill never forget the rage I saw and stared right back not breaking eye contact, I yelled and got confrontational with him until he backed down. It was the first time a sharp weapon was in the mix, honestly surprised he didn't try to hit me at this point but I am about as tall as him and would put up a good fight(I am athletic and have previously played travel hockey and rugby..probably saved my life back then tbh needed to vent my anger ). This night single handedly kicked off a series of events that changed my life forever. The next day I called the cops from school, I was broken my friend literally carried me to the guidance office I was so distraught. The abuse had been going on so long I hit breaking point. He was arrested and was not allowed within a certain distance of my mother my sister and I, he never physically(yes just physical) abused my brother so he was allowed contact by the courts. He was forced to move back to his father's house while this restraining order was in place. That spring/summer my mother's only priority was bringing him back. She resented me and became more neglectful, I got the stomach flu during this time my little brother took care of me as I vomited my face off and other unholy things. She walked right by me and said nothing, my brother was only 13 at the time, he has a learning disability which I think is important to note. So the courts granted him the ability to go home after maybe 3 to 4 months and required therapy, a joke imo but another adult would need to be present in the room if I was around. They had no intentions of making that happen, at 16 years old I had to leave my home and for 2 years I couch serfed and was taken in by a few families for short periods of times. I tried living with my sister but she was also one of my abusers and it would fall apart quickly she had no interest in actually caring for me, I was a tool for money and at one point she wanted me to commit fraud, when I didnt comply she abandoned me without a word, I got home and everything but my bed and a few things in my room was gone. She also told the landlord we were moving so I had no where to live by the end of that month. This is also the sister who tortured me as a child, manipulation and blackmail with the threat of A's abuse, strangling, standing on my throat while pouring water on my face. Shes the reason at 8 years old I jumped from a 2 storey window, after that I was in said bathroom I jumped from, mentally shell shocked by being basically waterboarded by my sister and falling from the height, when A got home he hit me so hard I flew into the bathtub my mom had to fight him off to get him away from me and she locked us in the bathroom crying. Their constant abuse has broken me. My second attempt at 16 was also because of the whole situation I tried to OD and was unsuccessful. I am now 30 and dealing with the effects of my life and I'm not going to lie living is difficult, I think because unaliving was always in the back of my head as an out of that hell hole it now is programmed to self distruct and I'm trying to reprogram with intensive therapy. I feel like my brain is split the real me and the traumatized me and I just try my best to reason with the traumatized side and ignore the dark thoughts, they didn't stop on medication in fact got worse at a few points, hence the second unaliving attempt. The problem was just being masked by meds never actually being worked through. I've made more progress in controlling my thoughts in trauma therapy and being medicated properly for adhd, I've had less episodes(these entail screaming thoughts of unaliving, going mute, dissociation, hyperventilation, severe anxiety, loss of mobility for short period of time, numbness, its a full freeze response my limbs feel physically heavy) I have a team of doctors looking after me, high levels of cortisol long term, I ended up with a significant autoimmune disorder and a laundry list of mental issues. I went NC with my sister at one point, her coming back into my life pregnant with my niece kick-started another mental decline that lasted 2 months roughly put myself in therapy again and was able to return back to my hardly functioning self. Now fast forward to 2022 I am diagnosed with the laundry list, I am still in therapy and I go to have a discussion with my parents about needing support and the challenges I'm facing. My mother's priority was to rid herself of guilt, she was only focused on why I thought she abandoned me...pretty obvious you chose him over your child and had the audacity to blame us when you have a, often unemployed man child hitting us if we breathed wrong while you worked and neglected us emotionally. A on the other hand couldn't handle having someone else talk about them selves and it not involve him or his opinion, I told him to stop offering his opinion many times because I don't need or want it, he literally had a melt down then told me to unalive myself. I havnt talked about his violence much, but it got to the point I was being harmed daily mentally or physically. Shoes thrown at my face, he has kicked my so hard I caught air hit a wall and peed my pants(I was around 7 years old at the time) I watched him ruthlessly attack my sister she got it the worst from him imo and she took it all out on me. He insulted our intelligence everyday and I would get in trouble for doing chores, he would want things done his way and using the wrong temperature to rinse dishes could set him off (loading the dishwasher dropped a fork and he came in flying screaming at me) I was blamed if I was in the vicinity and he made a mistake. Walking on eggshells feels like an understatement. I distinctly remember him saying he was going to have child services come take me away around 9, I yelled do it I dont want to live here anyway.(literally go little me I did not give af🤣) I was very vocal all these years about the abuse, we all discolosed to an adult at one point they did nothing, I discolsed to my vice principal at 15 before everything happened she didnt do anything, all the adults in our lives neighbours ect failed us. I was asking my mom to divorce him at 6 years old thats how long Ive lived in fear of him. He eventually said he knew about that and how hurt he was, I looked at him and said yeah I meant it idc if that upsets you and id get you arrested again without a second thought, I dont regret my actions as much as he tried to make me feel guilty. I was always diffusing or ending altercations, Im just trying to get by day by day, sometimes I dont know if ill make it but I'm trying my hardest. I've been no contact a year in September other than the one conversation in December when he told me to unalive that sealed the deal. I will never speak to them again. This has been something I wanted to air out maybe one day I'll write a book, but I'm moving on with my life, to end on a positive note despite all the wreckage of my life, I am in a long term 12 year relationship married for almost 8, we are about to buy our first home and I am starting my own business shortly after my second round in post secondary education. My husband,my cat(13) and I are living well. To anyone out there in a similar situation, I know it feels so dark and alone but it won't be like this forever, do what you can find supports and if you can leave do it, if you can't start preparing to. I had to go to food banks to eat, teachers were my greatest support they found me a bed after not having one for at least a year, one teacher also took me grocery shopping so I could eat. There are people in this world who can help, I pray they cross your path as they did mine, I wouldn't be here today without them.

I just had to share this. So 8 months ago I went NC with my parents. I didn't say a word, I just blocked them on everything. I live in a different country so this was easy.
I suddenly got a call from someone from my home country. I got nervous and didn't pick up, googled the number and saw it was from my aunt/godmother. I texted her back saying I was free if she wanted to call again. Now important to note is that I know my parents haven't told anyone ANYTHING. My grandfather still asks me when I'm going to see them next and since I'm not fluent in my other mothertounge I vaguely reply that I need to sort my passport out first and that's on the other side of the country, costs, yada yada.
First thing she asks me is "so what's up with you and your parents?" Oh have they said anything? And apparently, she'd spoken to my mother and she said she was depressed and seeing a psychiatrist. So my aunt asks if her brother's been an ass again and said something stupid (he's known to do that) and mom said no. Well okay, then you HAVE to tell me. So my mom told her that I don't talk to them anymore and she just doesn't understand why.
So I told my aunt everything. How we grew up, how we were treated, the lot. "That's child abuse!!" she replies with. Yuuuup. And gosh, just the fact that she just completely understood, supported me, accepted what I said, didn't do the whole shenanigans of "they're your parents" deal. And even said before we said bye that she was going to go google narcissism. It was just so.. nice. I felt so heard and seen. And so relieved. She's always been my fav aunt. I was so glad I didn't have to block her too, that I've aquired a family member!
She said she wasn't going to share anything of what I've told her. In her translated words "if they're seeing psychiatrists then they can do some self reflecting and figure it the F out themselves."
​
I would like to ask you guys though what you all think of her suggestion. She made it clear that it was just a thought, and absolutely nothing we need to do; To have our daughter, lets call her May(5y), write them letters. Tell them how she feels, if she wants to share how school or life in general goes etc, but to sign off each letter saying that letters they've sent back will be stashed away and she wont open them until she's like 13 or something, and by that point she herself can decide whether she wants a relationship with her grandparents or not. We are a bit on the fence with it, because our plan was that once we move, they won't have our new address and they won't be able to find us and surprise us with an out of the blue visit (which I would not put past my mother). I get the thought behind it, but yeah, not sure. I know for a fact that May doesn't want to ever talk to them because they were mean to her and they were mean to her mom. She even told me the other day that she wished that she was my mother and that if she was she would have protected me (yes I bawled at this). Has anyone done anything like this or been in a similar situation with kids and grandparents?
UPDATE: thanks guys so much for your thoughts, we had already decided that we wouldn’t go through with May writing letters to them, but your input helped us in deciding that it would indeed be a very bad idea!

There are allergies that I bet none of you have heard of. A few seem common, like nuts or eggs, but other allergies, like water, you wouldn't expect to be possible. Right? And even if it were, how would anyone survive with that type of curse? It is real, and it's called aquagenic urticaria. There are only 50 medical instances known to science, and most of the people who have it have lived longer than you would expect. I'm not one of these people, but I have a condition far rarer. It is called Solisphobia pronusirrita. It is a condition, and I am the only documented human to have ever had it. When I was born, my mum told me that the moment the doctors put me in the nursery, the sun rays from the window hit my skin, and I immediately started to bawl my eyes out like I was about to die. While I was screaming, the doctors came and saw that my skin, where the sun had been exposed, was turning a light purple and grey. Immediately, they took me into a more closed area, and they diagnosed me with Xeroderma pigmentosum. It is a condition where you are irritated by sunlight. Not like what I have, more like you get sunburnt really easily. After around 3 days in the nursery, I was taken home with my loving mum and dad. As a baby, they said I was more silent than they expected. I only made noise when I needed something or had to go to the bathroom. They recounted my only experience as a baby when I cried, and that was when I accidentally went outside because they forgot to shut the baby gate. When I made it outside, they said they heard the most high-pitched, ear-piercing wail they had ever heard. When they rushed out, they found me on the ground covered in splotches of purple and grey. They immediately dialled 911, and I was rushed to the emergency room. When the doctor saw what had happened, he started to explain the severity of my condition. He said that with Xeroderma pigmentosum, some babies experience intense sunburns, and I was likely going to have to be treated with mild burns. When they took a closer look, however, they noticed I had no burns; my skin colour had just been altered. Obviously, this was nothing like they had seen before, so they started to document my state in case I had a new, undiscovered condition that needed to be documented for studies later on. When I was being treated, the doctor noted that the disease was hereditary. However, my dad quickly pointed out that nobody in either of our families had this condition. The doctor was obviously stunned and thought I had a new condition. After 3 days of treatment, they diagnosed me. I was allergic to sunlight. My parents immediately fought against this, stating that it simply could not be possible. They thought allergies were only related to pets or food. But the doctor calmed them down and explained to them what it was. "Your son does not have Xeroderma pigmentosum; it's purely hereditary, and he isn't showing any symptoms." What we have decided on is that your sun has an extremely severe skin sensitivity to sunlight. Xeroderma pigmentosum doesn't just apply to the sun; very bright and powerful light can have the same effect, even in cold environments. My parents were devastated. They had to take a break and leave the room while more tests were held to see what was truly wrong with me. Finally, after a full week, I was back home with mum and dad. I was around 2 by this point and had started to walk. The next three years were very uneventful for me. The only notable thing that happened was that my dog died. We held a small funeral for him and buried him in the backyard. I was 4 at the time and can vaguely remember choking on my tears as I sat inside and heard the shovel scraping against the soil and rock that became my best friend's tomb. I didn't go to preschool. My parents decided it was too dangerous, and the only preschool I could go to was around a 15-minute drive away. The school was much closer, however, so my parents thought it'd be safer and decided to let me go. They told me that they had a heavy argument over homeschooling but eventually agreed that if any incidents happened, I would be taken out of school and put in a damp room to be taught my ABCs by my own mum. On my first day, I sat in the room. My condition was only known by the teachers, and they made sure I stayed indoors away from any open windows on a sunny day. By the time the day was over, I felt upset already. I wanted to go outside and play; I wanted to have fun. Unfortunately, the choice of death or a few minutes of fun was completely different, so I managed to get over it after a few weeks. That's when the first incident happened, however. I was in my class when the teacher left, and out of curiosity, I followed her. Immediately, I felt a tingling on my arm, and then the numbness started to overflow my senses. I felt nothing at all as my arm started to turn a concrete grey, and I immediately ran into the room, crying as I rubbed my arm. The only thing I could feel was a slight tingle and an almost icey coldness from my touch. After around 30 seconds, the teacher came in and saw my arm. She let out an audible gasp, but before she could do much, the bell went off. She couldn't get me out of the room because of the sun, so she called a nurse. As the kids flocked in, they saw my condition and started laughing. I still remember the high-pitched voices squabbling among themselves. One of them came forwards, pointed at me, and said, "HE'S A VAMPIRE GUYS, GET AWAY." And everyone in the room sort of stepped back and kind of ran out of the class, either laughing, screaming, or even crying. That was the day the bullying started. I was eventually shielded with some loose blankets and taken home. I was crying in the car as I overheard mum and dad say, "We have to take him out of that fucking school. It must be hell for the little guy to be forced to stay inside and do nothing." My mum piped up and said, "Maybe we should give it one more chance. Hopefully it won't happen again. Please, Danny, he needs an education!" My dad sighed and pondered for a minute before replying: "Fine, 1 more chance. If it happens again, we will take him out of that school. I felt ecstatic as my dad said that I had another chance. However, I wasn't aware of the amount of harassment and bullying that was to come later down the line. After a week, I came back to school. I had been given an umbrella to walk around with in the sun. Sometimes small rays would hit my finger and it would sort of burn for a second before it faded, but apart from that, I had no issues. When I made it to class, I pulled my umbrella down and rested it on my leg. Instantly, one of the kids behind me picked it up and said loud enough for everybody to hear: "I didn't know vampires needed umbrellas; I thought they just lived in coffins." Everyone started to laugh as I cried. This went on for 8 years, until I was 14. The bullying had only gone as far as verbal harassment until I got to high school. I got lots of judgemental and even fearful looks as I walked around with the umbrella. It didn't take long till people called me a vampire or concrete, and it was devastating. I thought I would finally fit in at high school, only to be tormented on a daily basis and feel ashamed of my own body. After two weeks, my mind started going to dark places. I felt worthless and miserable, as if it were my own fault for being who I am. When I got home after another terrible day of harassment, I felt the urge to harm myself. I didn't attempt to fight it as I lined myself up at the window. When my arm reached into the piercing rays of light, my body tensed, and I felt anxious. The pain was mild at first but quickly started to elevate as I started to sweat intensely. After around 30 seconds, I pulled my arm away and saw that the part of it that was affected was almost black. I started to cry as the horrific sight stared back at me. Then panic set in as I realised the colour wasn't fading like before. In a panic, I got the biggest hoodie I could find and put it on. The pain stayed mild, like a buzz. It was the same feeling as a small needle going into your body over and over, constantly. When mum called for me to come to dinner, I started to panic even harder. How was I going to hide any of this?" I thought as I creeped down the stairs. Every squeal and creak of the wood made me more anxious as I was greeted with the smell of freshly cooked meat. When I sat on my chair, my mum noticed my expression and said, "Everything okay, hun?" Out of panic, she would find out, and I almost immediately replied, "Yeah, Mum, just school being stressful, y'know?" She nodded her head, and as we ate, I started to feel at peace. Maybe they wouldn't find out, and the marks would eventually go away. While I was eating my food, I went to reach for my glass of water, and I knocked my fork onto the ground. On instinct, I reached down and grabbed it. When I sat back up, my sleeve rolled down, revealing the mark. Immediately, my dad said, "James, What is that on your arm?" His tone was extremely threatening. I started to cry, and my mum forcefully grabbed my sleeve and rolled it up, revealing the mark. "NO STOP!" I screamed with tears in my eyes. "What is this, James?" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR ARM?" It's a burn from the sun. "HOW DID YOU GET IT?" My mom's shrill screams made me sob louder as I choked out the answer: "I did it on purpose." My mum started to tear up as I ran to my room. That night, mum and dad argued. "IF JAMES IS GOING TO FUCKING BURN HIMSELF, WE HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO THERAPY!" My mum screamed. The walls made it muffled. "WHAT IS THAT GOING TO DO?" my father yelled back. "All that will do is make him feel like it's his fault for how people treat him." When I finally faded off to sleep, I had a nightmare about me stepping into the sun and fading to nothing but a shadow. When I woke up, Dad was gone, Mum had massive black bags under her eyes, and she was smoking at the dinner table while she was on the phone. "Danny left. He's at his mom's right now. James has been having a rough time." My mum choked on her tears. I went back up to my room as quietly as possible. I started to get ready for school. It took everything I had not to cry as I walked downstairs. My black scar was still there. I sighed in anxiety as I grabbed my umbrella and walked outside. I felt small tingles as small rays of sunshine hit me, but I ignored the pain as I walked to school. When I arrived, the usual fuckface that tormented me was out front. His name was Brayden. He immediately shoved me and noticed the scar. "What the fuck is that?" He grabbed my arm tightly as he investigated it. "You're a fucking freak, James. How do you even come to this school? I don't get it" Rage pitted in my stomach and mind as I shoved him. "Fuck you," I replied back in anger. "Oh, you want to go?" He put his fists up. I sighed; I didn't even care anymore. Life wasn't getting any better. Punches started getting thrown. I was hitting him hard, but he hit harder, and I started to feel dizzy. Like a sombre scene, rain started to pour as we fought. He managed to pin me on the ground and was pummelling me. As a last resort, I felt for a loose rock and found one. As the hard surface hit his head, I heard the sound of squishing and cracking. He fell off me unconscious, and when I got up, I noticed blood on my clothes. The rain has started to pour now. When I got up, I saw that there was a massive crack in his head. His eyes were open, but he wasn't breathing. I ran so fast that I felt my legs literally melting. As I finally turned a corner, I started to cry. The crying audibly stopped as I looked at my arm. The scar was gone, but the thing that had me in shock was that there were small droplets of rain with a black shade. The scar had been washed off. I didn't shower that morning or that night, so it had not been washed off. I stared at the sight and started to cry. What was happening anymore? I saw a massive semi come barrelling down the road in front of me, and that was when I made the life-changing decision to cut things short. I hoped I would reincarnate as something beautiful and live a normal life as I ran in front of it. The last thing I remembered I woke up in a white hospital bed. The lack of colour almost reminded me of heaven until I saw the doctors. The IV drips and my mum and dad crying next to me I couldn't speak; all I could do was sit there, barely able to see. I remember blacking out again. This time, I saw some things. I saw a bright light, and I remember feeling the same pain as the sunlight hitting my flesh. The smell of sulphur and heat filled my nostrils with a sour feeling. Then, out of nowhere, I blinked, and I was in front of this light. The smell and feeling were so intense that I started screaming, but no sound came out. The pain started to amplify as I moved closer, unwillingly. I heard a voice boom out of nowhere, spooking me. "You are my only weakness." It took me a minute to realise what was happening, but I figured it out. The light was speaking. "You are my only weakness," it repeated. This "entity" was speaking to me. I could understand it. "W-What are you?" I replied back. "I am sün. I am a god, which you all bow to. I provide your land with light in return for a host. I was so confused. None of this is real. The sun wasn't actually alive, right? "What do you need from me?" I replied shakingly. This entity replied back. "I want you to agree not to interfere with me in exchange for your curse being lifted." I sort of zoned out as it spoke like it was hypnosis. I snapped back, however. "Anything.. please! I want my life to be normal. I don't know what I've done to you, but I won't do anything, I swear." This all felt like a bad trip on acid; I didn't believe this was real for a second. This entity made the sound of someone going "mmm," and it said, "I agree. You will be healed when you wake up. Your curse will be lifted. These are the only words a mortal has spoken to me and is likely going to speak to me for eternity." A flash of light then flickered as I awoke. My parents noticed me waking up and immediately hugged me. "He's awake. My James is awake." They sounded much less happy, but I could tell they were holding in emotions. It's been 10 years since that day. I do not suffer from that "condition" anymore. I can be in the sun, but I still feel uncomfortable under the rays of that entity. I was sent to prison for the self-defence man slaughter of Brayden for six years. I don't know what life is anymore. Every day I ponder about that experience. The doctors said my condition must have been either cured or immunised. I don't know where to go at this point. I can't even say anything about it either. Whenever I try to tell someone, I feel my body tense and feel the sting of sunlight. That scar I had is still discoloured. It's not black, but that area of skin is much darker than the rest. Not all allergies are natural. Some are curses provided by higher forces that do not want to be recognised.