TL;DR: Read or skip based on title, sorry.
See my gear & skills at the bottom of the post.
I can't think of any obvious improvements so I'm asking you what to do. I've been playing around with maxroll D2planner but I can't find anything to increase my damage output besides having better rolls.
I mostly do Chaos, Trav and Baal with this. (Yes, it's slow and inefficient... But fun.) It plays as follows: dense groups of mods I use WW, single trash mobs and bosses I use BF. Like a proper loner I don't usually play with friends / in public games even though I do play online. Trading is an option and my budget is around 6 Ber.
I have a decent anni, torch and sunder. My merc has Reaper's Toll i.e. I have access to Decrepify although most of the time I don't use my merc because it likes to die to Hydras in Trav.
*****
The GFace socket (11min dmg + 12 allres) could probably be better? I can charm my way to max res so the allres isn't exactly mandatory. But what should I put in its place? Min dmg - while lower than max dmg - is nice because it makes kills more consistent with WW. Adding a +40% ED jewel would be an option? That would increase my BF dps by 450 and do nothing to WW dps. Neither skill benefits from additional IAS because I'm already hitting the breakpoints (4 & 4).
For the BF part it looks like an eth Fleshripper w/ Ber would produce the same dps as my current rare RT. The eth Fleshripper roll would have to be near perfect and the only gain is +45% CB (which, don't get me wrong, is huge). I just kinda like the idea and look of a RT in the main hand instead of zooming around with a knife. The huge downside is my AR would tank. Since I can one-shot most of the stuff already (on p1) I feel like it's better to have a high AR to ensure the hits vs. having more damage output. I'm not farming ubers with the character so having a huge CB boost isn't terribly useful.
When it comes to WW I'm torn between Chaos + Fury vs double Chaos. It looks like my dps would jump up by 400 if I switched to double Chaos and additionally I'd be able to deal with phys immunes better. However... I'm using WW mostly against trash mob groups and the "ignore target def" on Fury seems like a good idea? The life leech also isn't a bad thing as I'm often taking a bunch of hits when WW'ing. That increases survivability and reduces risk of being one-shot. The way WW works is you can't die in the middle of WW so if you leech yourself above 0 before the WW ends you live.
On that thought one idea I've been playing around with is since I get 20% IAS from Highlord's I could go for dual Chaos Ferals and still hit the lowest breakpoint. Or at least I should! The D2planner is probably bugged because warren1001's IAS calc shows I hit the 4 frame bp but in the D2planner it uses 5 frames for the calculation. I don't know what is up with that. I corrected for this suspected bug and it showed a 1.6k increase in dps (D2planner shows 6375 dps but multiply that by 5/4 and we get 7960 dps) but I'm not sure if that's right?? If this is correct I should definitely get myself some Ferals and Ohms.
I can't switch my Blood Ring to BK or SoJ because I'd lose my only source of mana leech when WW'ing. Any ideas? I could Cham the GFace and thus free up the Raven Frost for different rings. This would allow me to for example farm Nihlathak if I was able to equip Nature's Peace.
I'm working on getting some basic skillers for Traps but I've been a bit lazy.

DPS:

Skill	Damage	CB from gear
WW	6.1k	50%, melee
BF	15.0k	50%, ranged

​

SKILL POINTS:

MA	SHADOW	TRAPS
1 in Dragon Flight	20 in Claw Mastery	20 Blade Sentinel
	1 in Weapon Block	20 Blade Fury
	11 in Fade	20 Blade Shield

GEAR:

	GFace	Highlord's
Chaos RT // Rare RT	Fortitude AP	Fury RT // Phoenix
Dracul's		Gore Rider
Blood Ring	String of Ears	Raven Frost

GFace socket jewel:

• +10 min dmg
• [email protected]

Rare RT:

• fool's (+44 max dmg at my lvl)
• grinding (+66 max dmg at my lvl)
• low fixed AR roll
• 7% ml
• socket: Lo

Blood Ring:

• +3 max dmg
• +30 AR
• 5% ml
• 2% ll
• +5 str
• +17 life

I am married to a 36 year old INTP. We are leaving this apartment in which he had been living in for 4 years, before we met. In a 3bhk, my husband dedicated one room to be trash room. The trash in this room has been collected over 4 years.
The interesting thing to note is that he segregated the trash into pizza boxes, alcohol bottles and online shopping cardboards. But the bright idea to actually dump the trash never struck my husband.
I have categorically refused to assist in the cleaning and dumping endeavour, and it breaks my heart to watch him struggle with this volume of waste, since we have to vacate the place soon. It could take nearly twenty trips to the waste bins before we can clear this up. I have taken on other responsibilities, and I love him to death, but I just cannot stand being in that trash room. It's hilarious, and we laugh about it but I have told him that he should never have let this happen. He's patiently tearing away at the boxes and packing them in the trash bag as I type this, with his input of course.
Interested in hearing your opinions. Also, don't do this, okay.

Turin, gojid Cradle ecologist.
Date [standardised human time]: May 5th, 2120
(16 years, 4 months before the invasion of the gojid Cradle).
Turin was pacing rapidly. She had checked, unpacked, and re-checked their first aid supplies. She had cleared the house of clutter and gone over their contingencies. But all the busy work had been done, and now Turin had to face it. This was it; this was the trap that Juran had set.
Braq’s voice had been curt and desperate on the radio having signaled her from Ki-yu’s den. A pair of children had been spotted on the mountain pass cameras, right where the roht tracks had been found. He had warned her to keep back, be ready to call assistance. It made sense, and without a second buggy she would not reach them for hours on foot anyway. But that left her and Imdi to sit and wait. Turin could not allow her fear to rule her, it would only distress her son.
Turin made two shaky cups of tea, trying to distract them with his homework. It was a simple short essay, but the lad struggled with his letters at the best of times. Just sitting beside him, she reflected on how much Imdi had grown. He was still a little boy, helpless in his own way, but clearly a person besides. What a strange symbiosis parenthood is; we need our children as much as they need us. Her mind wandered to the two youths on the trail camera. It could only have been Yotun and Callio, they were the closest, and the most likely to go wandering.
Juran’s played us, she realised. Either we call for help and acknowledge that there are dangerous predators here, or we feign ignorance and become complicit. Either way…
“Why…?” she whispered absentmindedly.
“Why what, Mama?” Imdi asked beside her. She shook her head, giving him a casual pat.
“Sorry sweetheart, I got distracted.” If we call for help we damn ourselves, if we don’t we damn ourselves again. We can hide Ki-yu, but we can’t hide this…
Turin snatched up the radio when it burst into static. It was something of a relief, even if it was short-lived. The mountainous terrain interfered with the signal, but Braq’s broken voice told her enough. The girl is dead, all others injured. She stood there with the silent handheld pressed to her ear. She heard the ocean roar about her mind, crashing white water above a darkened abyss. Braq and Ki-yu are still alive. She took the thought and lit it as a lamp to light her cabin.
"No,” she whispered. He can play his game, but I won't.
Turin called the ambulance right away. It would be at least two hours before a first responder reached them from the city. At the very least that gave them plenty of time to hide their daughter away. She was shaking as she made the last of three calls, the ringing signal grating against her quills.
“What’s happening Mama?” Imdi asked, still sitting at the table. With a heavy breath, she sat beside him once more. He looked at her quizzically as she pulled him away from his homework.
“It, uh, it seems that Callio and Yotun wandered onto the property. They’ve been hurt.”
“Hurt?” he squeaked. “Hurt bad?” She nodded, trying to keep her expression calm rather than crestfallen.
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m so sorry…”
~*~
They heard the buggy coming before they saw it, the roar of its engine waking Turin from the windowsill with a start. Imdi awoke in her lap as she moved to her feet, rubbing his raw eyes groggily. A quick glance at the clock told her it had been about an hour. She updated the silent countdown in her head, a sliver of worry that she had called for help too soon.
“Oh,” Imdi whimpered, looking up at her with a tear-dried face.
“Shh…” she coddled him. “Don’t worry.”
The buggy came screeching to a halt outside, and Turin took a breath to steady herself. We just have to keep moving, crest one wave and then the next.
Braq’s silhouette was already exiting the vehicle as she charged out the front door and toward the buggy. The afternoon sun had crashed into a meagre pale sundown, the lightest of yellows across the western sky.
“Braq!” she called out, blinded by the vehicle’s headlights. She almost stopped before she reached them, the smell of blood was frightfully strong. “Wha-?!”
“Keep him back!” Braq barked, cutting off the engine and the lights before he leaned into the backseat. Turin set down their son with a quick kiss. She hurried forward as Braq pulled back. Their daughter hung limply in his arms. A strip of pale fabric had been tied tight about her tail, slowly staining scarlet.
“Oh, Protector…” Turin moaned, reaching for the girl. Her endarkened eyelids fluttered at her voice, lips drawing into a pained smile as she felt Turin’s paw on her face.
“Mama…” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Turin whispered, “you’re home now.” Yotun was sitting idly in the passenger seat, watching them intensely. The look on his tear-marked face was one Turin thought belonged on war veterans and cattle victims.
“Th-the girl?” she asked weakly.
“She’s on the backseat,” Braq said hoarsely, blocking her path as she tried to look around him. “D-don’t,” he groaned. “Just don’t.” Yotun slid out of his seat. Turin glanced over at her son who was fretting with his claws nearby. “Imdi go help Yotun inside.”
“O-okay,” he mumbled. His eyes went wide at the long gashes in the approaching boy’s forearm, but he just swallowed hard and took his other paw. “Is Ku going to be okay?” he asked worriedly.
“Ku…” Yotun wheezed, almost a laugh.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” she murmured, nodding to the lodge. “Go on.” She looked up at her partner's haggard face, silently asking the same.
“Broken tail,” he said, “cr-cracked ribs I’d suspect.”
“Internal damage? A haemorrhage?”
“N-no I don’t think so,” he panted, hobbling past her toward the house. The breath left her at the sight of her beloved’s back.
“Braq!” she gasped. A pair of long diagonal slashes had been cut from shoulder blade to pelvis, broken spines hanging loosely. Whilst the bleeding had stopped, the exposed tissue was shifting and raw beneath his torn hide. He was also limping, she saw, a fearful bitemark around his right ankle. Turin wanted to scream as she started after him.
“I’m okay,” he grunted, shifting all his weight onto his left leg as he walked. No, no you’re not! “Looks worse than it is. You called the parents?” he continued, ignoring their torment.
“Y-yeah,” she mumbled as they hurried through the threshold. Imdi had sat Yotun on the couch and was carefully setting out one of the first aid kits. The skinny boy looked up stiffly as they entered. “At least Laenar and Arrut. They’ll be here soon. Teraka didn’t answer.” Braq let out a shuddering sigh.
“W-we need to get her sorted before they arrive,” he said. With a short yip of pain, Ki-yu reached out for the couch. Her dark paw gripped Yotun’s shoulder stopping them from passing, the boy wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the contact. Ki-yu’s voice was slurred and lethargic, each breath heavy and deliberate.
“Pretty… drawings…” she wheezed. “Remember… burn… the forest…” Yotun bristled. Turin reached down and gently unhooked her claws, taking some comfort in their strength still despite her injuries.
“Hide her,” she told Braq. He shook his head.
“I n-need to get Callio from the buggy.”
“No, you look after Ki-yu,” she said firmly. “I’ll go get her.”
“N-no, it’s bad, I ca-”
“Braq, beloved. Look after her.” Braq looked quickly from Turin to the girl in his arms, before reluctantly nodding. Ki-yu was still mumbling as Braq walked with her down to her hidden bedding room.
“W-woods… stars…” Turin heard her say.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Braq whispered to her. “Try and rest.” Imdi tugged at Turin’s leg.
“Baba’s hurt…” her son mumbled.
“I know,” she said, rubbing his scalp. “He’s just got to look after Ki-yu for a little while. Okay?”
“O-okay…” He looked at her more insistently. “Mama, is Ku gonna be alright?”
“I…” He should not have to see any of this. The words caught in her throat, so she just nodded. “Why don’t you go help Baba, hm?”
“Okay…” he mumbled, doddering down the gloomy hall after them. Turin wished she could join them, to hold them all close and whisper sweet nothings.
If I stop now, I’ll drown.
Turin moved to where Imdi had studiously spread out the first aid kit and crouched down.
“Hey,” she said as softly as possible. “I need to take a look at that.”
Yotun flinched as she touched him, from fear or pain she knew not which. Turin pulled the arm straight as tenderly as she could. Yotun whimpered as she washed out the wound but otherwise said nothing. He just sat there, numb, quiet, and broken. The mother in her wailed. I can mend his arm at least. She bandaged it carefully, gave him some painkillers, and told him to try and rest.
Still, even that task was preferable to what Turin had to do next. She retrieved some white sheets from the laundry. They were not true funerary shrouds, specially thickened to prevent the dead’s quills from piercing the fabric, but they would do.
The pre-night gloom was setting in as Turin stepped outside again. The cool air carried a crying choir of forest creatures, making Turin feel like she was standing in a dream. She walked stiffly out to the buggy, stopping before she had the chance to look inside. The smell had only grown, but it was more than mere disgust; a bubble of terror encircled the vehicle. Crushing down the thundering panic before it built, Turin peered into the buggy. On one backseat was a small body, partially obscured by a bloodied poncho. Callio’s creamy fur peaked from beneath the fabric in places, tinged a dark blue. A tide of azure had flowed down into the seats, building a dried pattern in the footwell.
Turin turned away, stifling a keen. She remembered their first meeting, how that harrowing confrontation had become a cheerful moment of play by the seaside. She was so happy, Turin recalled. So bright. No more… Collecting herself, she retrieved the rifle, wedged haphazardly into the driver’s door, noting how the metalwork had buckled around the central chamber. She shrugged the strap over her shoulder and turned back to the body. I will not flinch, she told herself as she pulled back the covering. We owe her that much.
She did not balk, but it hurt her not to.
Callio lay on her side with closed eyes, curled up as if asleep. She was as at peace as she could be. Turin spread the sheet across the ground and moved to lay the girl to rest. She shuddered and stopped when shifting the torso made the head turn unnaturally, biting into the back of her own paw to stop herself from screaming. This could have been Braq… or Ki-yu… or even Imdi… Oh, Protector… With a shaky sigh, she laid her down on the sheet and, as respectfully as she could, Turin enwrapped the girl in white. The death of her aunt had been the first time Turin had seen loss, felt grief. To see that plump woman, full of raucous laughter, fond of gaiety and song, reduced to a body enwrapped and entombed…
Turin decided that she hated pale sheets as she carried Callio inside.
She laid the body on the table, then placed the broken weapon on the counter. Yotun still sat stiffly on the couch, as unmoving as a statue. Turin covered the first shawl with a thicker sheet, the form appearing less and less like a person. Looking down she saw blood had soaked onto her overalls, all over her paws. The clothing was ruined, but Turin would never want to wear it again anyway. She stripped and tossed her clothing into the bin. It felt as though the smell had sunk through her skin. She moved to the sink, trying to scrub the blood from herself, but the sponge just came away blue. She turned on the hot water until it was near scalding, trying to clean beneath her claws. It sloughed off her, falling into the inky depths. Turin made a quiet sob, shaking her head to try and will away her wet eyes.
“Mama?” Imdi squeaked behind her. Turin coughed, drying her hands.
“Yes, sweetheart?” she said, quickly wiping her tears. The boy was looking at the body with tearful eyes.
“Wh-what’s happening?” Falling to one knee, she pulled him to her breast.
“Something terrible, love.” She kissed his forehead, the smell of him like a prescient memory, cleansing the nauseating tones of death.
“Mama… I’m scared.”
“I know, it’ll be okay,” she whispered, swallowing to stop her voice from breaking.
“I d-don’t want to be scared,” he whispered. “I wanna be fearless, like you.” Turin let out a tearful chuckle. She leaned back against the cabinet, holding her son’s head gently in her paws.
“I’m not fearless,” she told him. His dark brown eyes were searching her own, the scar on his lip twitching. “Wanna know a secret? Everyone feels scared from time to time.”
“Even Ku?”
“Aheh… maybe a little.” She smiled as she flattened his spines. My handsome little man. “Listen. There’ll be many times in your life when you feel afraid.” She curled a knuckle on his breast. “Where you feel it ball up, right here, and you want to run away and hide. That fear will always be there. But you don’t have to run and hide. That fear can make you strong and brave if you let it push you. And the only way to do that is to try. So,” she rubbed his cheeks with the balls of her thumbs, ”will you be brave?” He snuffled, his tiny face pulling into a fretted smile.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll try.” She brought her forehead to his.
“Good boy.” The soft fur of his face tickled her nose.
If I stop now I’ll drown.
“We’ll, uh, be having visitors soon,” she rasped, pulling back. “I… need to get ready… Why don’t you try and get ready for bed, hm?” The boy nodded a little reluctantly, disappearing down the hall once more.
Turin tried to distract herself by scrubbing through the security footage again, focusing her efforts on the hills around the attack. All trace of her needed to be cleared. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Imdi come toddling back. He sat on the couch beside the thinner boy.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey,” Yotun replied, his eyes foggy and distant.
“Your arm…” Imdi mumbled, glancing cagily at him. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah.” Yotun sniffed. He looked at the table, as though seeing it for the first time. The white cloth was a shroud over too small a body. “Your… ‘sister’… an arxur?”
“My sister,” Imdi said dryly, his gaze also lingering on the dead girl. “The arxur.” He sniffed. Then he sniffled. Very quickly he was crying, the quiet sound breaking Yotun from his stupor. An instant later the older boy was sobbing too and, in a moment that broke Turin’s heart, he put his working arm around the younger boy. The two leaned on each other for strength and cried.
Turin did what she could. She lit the fire, gave them blankets, and made some more tea. When she brought it to them, she found they had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
Soon thereafter, Braq hobbled back into the room. Her beloved wore a weary, complex expression as he looked at the sleeping boys, but she could see him take note of, then close off the sight of the girl on the table.
“Passed out,” he reported, moving to her side. “She was in a lot of pain. I’ve, uh, put some ice on her ribs, best we can do is to keep her still for a bit.”
“Oh, she’ll hate that,” Turin mumbled. She nodded to the boys. “This one should be okay, at least in the arm.”
“He, uh… was brave.” Braq conferred quietly. “I think he tried to lure it away from… from her, but…” He shook his head. “Stupid boy… What about the cameras?”
“Just going over the more recent stuff,” Turin said. Braq groaned deeply, then hissed at the twisting broken skin of his back as he leaned forward. Turin stood and pulled him toward the better-lit kitchen.
“Come here, let me sort you out.” Grumbling, her partner begrudgingly followed her.
His ankle had started to swell, the skin a deep purple. They applied some ice to bring down the swelling, but it would need to be thoroughly washed as well. Making him swallow some painkillers, she laid him face down on the countertop to clean his back.
“What happened?” she asked as she brought some hot water and cloth.
“She’d caught scent of it, found a path it was using regularly. We set up the bait, had headed back to her den to check the cameras.” He hissed as she layered on the first cloth. “That’s when we saw them. They were heading –ah!– right for it. I-I drove as fast as I could but…” His paws shook with anxious energy. “I told her to stay back, stay hidden but she didn’t listen. Heh,” he snorted sardonically. “Good thing too.” He looked her dead in the eye over his shoulder. “She killed it. Damn near ripped its head off.” Turin focused hard on the cleaning, trying not to mull over the implications. The disinfectant stung more than the water, Braq’s back taught from stress, fatigue, and pain. Turin kept talking to distract him.
“If, um, someone finds it, they’ll see her teeth marks…”
“I hid that,” he said. “Gun nearly blew apart, but I shot it point blank. Should look like I got it.” Yes… that could work… She took the opportunity to wash the wound in his ankle, the mucky, bloodied fluid staining the floor.
“I’ll have to clean that up,” Braq groaned, his face pressing into the countertop. Turin chuckled, tossing down a towel.
“You better,” she said glibly. Now cleaned, she could see the clear paired punctures where the roht’s canines had dug in, one tooth piercing to the bone. She wrapped it up tightly.
“Lover… the paramedics will have to have a look at this.”
“Figured,” he grumbled. Now clean, she sutured shut the broken hide of her beloved’s broad back. It would scar, and he may even lose quills, but it would heal. Braq got up almost before the last suture went in.
“You should sit and rest,” she told him, grabbing his wrist.
“So should you,” he said without spite. His paw came up beneath her chin, and she saw in his eyes the same wailing despair she felt. If I stop now I’ll drown. Braq made to hug her, but she stopped him with a palm on his chest.
“Please don’t…” she pleaded. She needed to stay strong for now. He took her paw and rubbed it absently but nodded. With a shaky sniff, he gestured to the sleeping boys.
“One of us needs to talk to him,” he said. “Which one do you want?”
“I-I’ll do it. Go keep an eye on the kids.” She squeezed his paw and kissed it. “We’ll be okay.”
“I know.” he said, leaving her leaning against the counter. He at least seemed to believe it. Braq leaned over the couch and lifted his son as carefully as he could, wincing at the pain in his foot. He nestled him in the crook of his massive arms, and walked down to his room.
With a heavy sigh, Turin sat down on the couch beside Yotun, still curled up in sleep.
“Yotun?” She tapped his knee. He stirred quickly with a frantic, panicked breath, crawling across the cushions. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Y-you didn’t,” he mumbled, drawing the blanket about him.
“Is your arm still hurting?” The boy nodded weakly, not meeting her eyes.
“Here,” she gave him his lukewarm cup of tea, noticing how his paws twitched and shuddered. Turin wished she could give him some time to recover, to reconcile, but they only had minutes now at best.
“I’m… so very sorry, sweetie,” she said softly, “but we need to talk before your parents get here.” Yotun swallowed hard.
“What’d y-you tell them?”
“That you’ve been hurt, and that a predator did it.” Turin sighed. “But we’re not talking about that, are we? We’re talking about Ki-yu.” Yotun looked at her like she had grown antlers, but the expression passed quickly.
“I k-kinda guessed,” he whispered. “But it didn’t make sense. You’ve been keeping her here? This whole time?”
“Yes,” she said. “I wish you could get the chance to know her properly.”
“She… left me…” he mumbled. “Alone… in the dark…”
“Yes. And afterward she turned up here in the middle of the night, a shivering, broken wreck. I’ve never seen her cry so much.” The boy looked up at her mistily.
“She… cried?” He shook his head morosely. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all over now…”
“Is it?” Turin asked, willing fire into her voice. “She certainly doesn’t seem to think so. ‘Burn the forest?’” He flinched. “She knows the risks of her discovery, far better than anyone. She knows that if it comes to it…” Turin stopped before she broke down. “And yet, she risked it all for you. In a heartbeat. She put her trust in you, Yotun.”
“Sh-she sh-shouldn’t have… I-I’m just a st-stupid kid!”
“I-” The alarm wailed for a split-second before Turin turned reached over and turned it all off, hiding their security system.
“Wh-what was that?”
“Proximity alert. Someone’s coming.”
“My parents?”
“Most likely.” Yotun drew himself down. This isn’t working…
Braq came limping up the hall.
“She’s still asleep, secure,” he said.
“Okay,” Turin breathed. “Then sit down, for Kay-ut’s sake, before you make that worse.” He settled into the windowsill seat. Turin placed a paw on Yotun’s uninjured arm.
“They’ll kill her,” she said firmly. “If you mention her at all, to anyone, they’ll kill her.”
“M-my p-parents wouldn’t-”
“Yes,” Turin said with a sad smile, knowing as all parents do. “They absolutely would.”
”They’d tell someone else at the very least,” Braq sighed. “And then they’d come for us all.”
“A-and they’d burn it all down to find her,” the boy shuddered.
The hovercar’s thwopping was now audible.
“We shouldn’t have to ask this of you, lad.” Braq said. “You’ve suffered too much already. But I think you know we’d both be dead right now without her.” Turin’s stomach rolled. Yotun looked fearfully between the two of them.
“Y-you’re asking me to lie?!”
“From what she’s told us, you’re the closest thing Ki-yu’s ever had to a real friend.” Turin implored him. “We’re asking you to save her.” Braq looked out of the window as she said it.
“They’re here.”
A door slammed outside. If I stop now I’ll drown. Turin gave his arm one last squeeze.
“Our lives are in your paws, Yotun.”
Please, please, please save her…
“Yotun!” Laenar cried out desperately, the front door thrown open as they charged in. Turin backed off as quickly as she could, knowing better than to come between them now.
“Oh, my boy!” The mother fell to her knees beside him. “Thank The Protector! Oh, your arm! Gods!” Stopping in the middle of the room, Arrut drew a quick sharp breath, his eyes on the table.
“Mercy…” he said simply, the light from the fireplace casting long shadows across the room. Laenar made a muted gasp, pulling Yotun tight against her. “The girl…?”
“Callio.” Braq said quietly. It was almost a whimper. There was a long silence, the only sound Laenar’s muted breathing.
“Wh-where’s the ambulance?” Arrut asked weakly. “Why didn’t you call an ambulance?”
“Too late,” Braq murmured mournfully. “It… it all happened too fast.”
“There’s one coming now,” Turin said, rubbing her forehead. “To… collect the body.”
“That’s not an ambulance,” Laenar said weakly. Arrut pulled his eyes away from the table, falling heavily into the chair beside Braq.
“My… stars man,” he murmured. “The state of your back…”
“Think of your son, you idiot!” Laenar gasped. Arrut shot her an incredulous look back.
“The wounds clean. H-he should be alright physically-” Turin started.
“Alright?! He’s been mauled!” She pulled her son’s face up to her. “What h-happened? Why were you out there?” His expression crumpled.
“We wanted to see the woods,” he said quietly.
“Wha- Why…?” The pudgy woman suddenly glared at Turin. “You did this! You perverted pair of-!”
“Laenar!” Arrut yelled. “That’s enough!”
“No, I’m sick of these people! Sick of this place! Why don’t you just-!”
“Shut up, Mother, shut up!” Yotun started yelling. “I did this, this’s my fault!” He winced as he jerked his slashed arm at them. “Braq saved me!”
”You’ve been through a lot, you don’t-!”
“M-my fau-lt! My-!” His words became incoherent, a violent sorrowful wailing. Laenar relented, looking as broken as her son. The boy was inconsolable, unable to speak, so Braq recounted what had happened. The parents listened intently, not saying a word. He told them how they had suspected something was not right in the Brackwood, carefully leaving out the signs of roht they had kept to themselves. He told them that he had found a dead vyrryn and tracks in the snow and had been watching the cameras when he had spotted the children. Braq’s voice broke when he explained how he had not got there in time. As his voice trailed off Turin knew that he was replaying those dreadful moments over and over again in his head.
Arrut stood, rubbing his mouth.
“Why didn’t you call the authorities?” he asked. “If you suspected there was this roht creature about, why didn’t you call for help?” Turin and Braq shared a glance.
“Because it doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Roht were never found here. They’re practically extinct.”
“So, what?” Laenar grunted. “You based your safety, all our safety, on your intuition?”
“No,” Braq said. “We’ve found… plasma wounds on animals, many fatal. Someone else has been in our woods.” He rubbed his face with both paws. “We don’t know who to trust.”
“And you think, what they’re trying to scare you off?” She scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe what you want,” Turin snapped. “We’ve got the photos to prove that someone’s been shooting our animals.”
“But… who would go wandering out here?” Arrut asked. “Most people are terrified of this place.”
Before anyone could answer, the sound of another arriving vehicle drew their attention, Braq glancing out the window. He leaned forward.
“Well… you were right,” he said. “It’s not an ambulance.” A quiet stillness came over them as the engine died; the gravel outside crunched beneath approaching steps. Moonlight filtered through the front window; the shadow of an impossibly tall man descended across their home. The phantom coalesced by the threshold, the figure looming for a moment. Then he straightened and knocked. Nobody moved. He knocked again, the noise rattling about Turin’s skull. She looked over at Braq and saw ire and worry warring in his eyes. A third knock, more insistent. Fuck…
Turin walked over and opened the door.
“Good evening Turin,” Juran said, giving her the slightest bow. His pale eyes hovered like pinpricks in the night.
“Juran. What’re you… doing… here…” Her voice left her as she saw who stood behind him. Juran strode past her as she struggled to form a thought.
“We were forwarded a rather desperate-sounding emergency call. Needless to say, we came as soon as we could.” There was a crashing, thundering sound in Turin’s ears. The other just stood there, looking at her expectantly. “Oh dear, nasty business this,” Juran was saying, stepping closer to the body. He clicked his tongue, as though examining shoddy craftmanship. “Very nasty business.” Juran looked quickly around the room, his eyes devouring all they saw. “And two survivors?” He clapped his paws together. “We were worried.”
“We?” Braq asked hoarsely.
“Oh, yes, I was meeting with an old friend.”
He strode in with the same confidence as the extermination officer.
“Teraka…” Arrut gasped. Juran stopped. Everyone stopped. They all just looked at him. Teraka looked nonplussed for a moment, but then he noticed the other parents’ gaze. His eyes passed over them questioningly.
“T-Teraka,” Turin gulped. “I couldn’t reach you… you didn’t…” The man looked at the body, then at Yotun. The lad was shaking, sobbing again in his mother’s arms.
“What is this?” Teraka hissed, his suave exterior melting away. Juran’s pale eyes narrowed, his head moving in a steady glacial turn to Turin. For the first time, she felt like she was actually looking at him. A long time ago, she would have called his expression predatory; now she would simply call it cruel.
“No…” Teraka gasped, pushing Juran aside as he staggered forward. He moved around the table like he feared it would cut him. Tenderly, he pulled back the sheets. It was… disturbing, how little the man reacted. He stilled, all that constant movement, those ceaseless platitudes quieted. He just stood there and looked.
“I suppose we’ve found what killed that brynn foal,” Juran said thinly. The chair squealed as Braq stood, her husband’s face contorting from the pain in his leg. Juran might have been taller, but Braq was undoubtedly the bigger man.
“Really?” he said, looking up at him. “’Cause I’d say that roht was only two or three years old. It would have been an infant when that brynn was killed.”
“Ah, quite right you are,” Juran said with a flash of teeth. “There must have been others.” Her beloved’s fists were held so tight the claws bit into his palms. “Well, regardless this will have to be thoroughly investigated. And of-” Juran was interrupted as Teraka strode over and struck him across the face. The tall man toppled into the bookshelf, clutching at his snout as their small library came tumbling down around him.
“Bastard!” Teraka snarled, his claws digging into Juran’s throat. A shout went out, Turin knew not from who, as the two men struggled. Laenar was gasping noisily trying to shield her son; Arrut and Braq trying to pull the raging father back but finding Teraka’s quills before them. Juran’s paws sinched tight around the smaller man’s wrists, and with a ferocious roar, he stood as quickly as he could, headbutting Teraka under the chin. Teraka staggered backward into the table, the legs screaming murder against the woodwork, Turin only barely stopping Callio’s body from sliding from it. The others were yelling at them, but the two men did not care as they traded blows like trained fighters. They fought viciously, reminding Turin of how Ki-yu hunted; no movement was wasted, no moment savoured. Teraka ducked under a wide backhand, jabbing with his claws for Juran’s chest. Juran blocked with his offhand, using his greater reach to keep Teraka at bay. He threw a brutal left hook that Teraka countered, then trapped. Growling in pain, Juran blocked Teraka’s follow-up, snatching a firm grip on the smaller man’s throat. His grip was so tight Turin saw his claws draw blood. Choking, Teraka kneed him in the groin, then palm struck him in the gullet. The two fell back wheezing, circling one another with quills out and eyes wide with rage.
“You’ve taken everything from me!” Teraka howled. Juran glared at him with his pale eyes, blood flowing down from his snout. “My job! My decency! My daughter!”
“You knew the cost!” he spat back. “It’s you who’ve betrayed my trust. I thought better of you…”
Surging in, Braq gripped Teraka’s left arm, trying to twist it around his back before the fight could resume. But the enraged father kicked the other man’s weakened leg out from under him, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. With a bellowing cry, Arrut tackled Juran around the middle, the two crashing into the kitchen tiles. Teraka moved to make after them, but Braq took the opportunity to swipe out Teraka’s legs from the floor, evening the score. Growling like an animal, Braq pinned him on his back. Wrestling free of Arrut, Juran rose forward with murderous intent in his pale eyes. Fuck this! Turin snatched up the rifle where it still lay on the counter.
“Hey!” she snarled, the sound of her ratcheting the lever stalling the melee. The weapon had been damaged by the roht; Turin doubted it would fire at all, but the threat was sufficient. “I will not have any more blood spilled in my house!” Teraka struggled in Braq’s grapple.
“There is more at stake than this little shack!” the man hissed.
“Mind your words, Teraka,” Juran’s voice was as thin and sharp as a needle. “Or the cost will be far greater than one little girl.”
“Enough!” Turin roared. “Juran, we’ll cooperate with whatever investigation you deem necessary,” she barked, hiding the fearful lie behind the fire in her voice. “But for now, you’re leaving. I suggest you get that nose looked at.” There was a long and painful silence. The tall man regained his posture, wiping his nose.
“Thank you,” he said with a sickly-sweet smile. There was blood in his teeth. “My apologies for the disturbance, that was most unprofessional. I’ll be in touch.” With one last icy look at them all, he strode out into the night. Teraka struggled beneath Braq as his car shot up into the sky.
“Why’d you do that?!” he spat when he finally released him. “Why’d you do that, wh-why?!” And then he was crying, a pitiful, ruined wailing as he almost fell over the body of his little girl. They could not pull him away; he just kept crying. He was crying when Yotun left with his parents, and he was still crying when the ambulance finally arrived to take her away.
~*~
Ki-yu’s breathing had steadied, ice and a pillow across her chest seeming to help her sleep. Arxur were strong, and the bone had not shifted. The tail required more work —a splint and sutures— but the girl had slept through their treatment. With enough time, they were confident she would suffer no more than a new scar.
Turin's paw brushed across Ki-yu’s sheets, bloodied a fiery crimson. The mother swallowed a sob as she thought of Callio again. Ki-yu made a groaning sound, shifting slightly as her dark eyes flickered open. She peered up at Turin curiously, and for a second she almost seemed bemused. But then she felt her ribs, the ache making her whine.
“Hey,” Turin cooed, feeling the warmth of her scalp. “How do you feel?”
“Thirsty,” she rasped. Turin reached back for the cup of water she had brought.
“Here,” she whispered, bringing it to her scaly lips. “We’ll get you something to eat tomorrow.” Ki-yu gulped it down, then coughed slightly.
“I’ll be okay-”
“No, you’ll eat tomorrow,” Turin said, looking at her sharply. Ki-yu rattled a small huff but nodded.
“Wh-what happened?” she asked. “I thought I heard shouting…” Turin rubbed her paws on her knees.
“Teraka… I don’t think anyone would ever take that well…” Ki-yu scrunched up her face. A moment later recollection returned.
“Oh… I-” She started panting quickly, snorting out wet sobs. The girl dropped her head heavily onto her pillow, wet tears welling in her eyes. Snuffling, she started beating her snout against her bedding.
“Hey… sweetheart…” Turin purred, rubbing her shoulder. “Talk to me…” Ki-yu swallowed, a sound that was almost an Umph!
“I-I w-wasn’t f-fast enough, wa-sn’t good enough-!” The mother pushed her way onto the bed, laying her head on the damp pillow as she pulled her as tightly against her as she could.
“Shhh… You were superb.”
“B-but she-!” Ki-yu sniffled against her.
“You gave her a fighting chance, sweetie. You couldn’t have done any more.” Ki-yu was silent for a short moment, snuggling against her fuzzy chest. Turin hoped it gave the girl the same comfort as her.
“Yotun?”
“He’s gone home with his parents. So far, he hasn’t told them about you at all.”
“Wh-what happens now?” she asked weakly.
“We’ll sort that out,” Turin sighed. “Don’t you worry.” Turin sat up as a tiny figure draped in a long blanket waddled through the doorframe.
“Hey Ku,” Imdi squeaked.
“Hey dingus,” Ki-yu sniffled, making the little boy smile meekly.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” she said, stretching out as she kept her eyes on the little gojid. “How about you?”
“Okay,” he mumbled, looking at her abashedly. “I, uh, just wanted to say i-it’s okay if you feel scared. I f-feel scared too, but…” He fidgeted with his claws. My brave little man. Ki-yu made a tired keen.
“Wanna stay here tonight?” she asked. He nodded fervently. Ki-yu smiled, spreading out the bedsheets. Imdi wriggled in beside her, the girl wrapping her long arms around him as she brushed down his spines.
“How about a song?” Ki-yu said with a wry smile. Turin sighed out a tired laugh.
“What do you think, Imdi?” she asked.
“All-mother’s prayer?” he replied. Turin always liked that one. It made her smile.
“Okay,” she said. “Just the one. Close your eyes.” The children settled in snugly, Turin singing as sweetly as she could.
“Kay-ut, All-mother, hear my prayer.
Hush, keep it quiet, simple, and fair.
Ki-ra hold your notes, Ki-yu stop your games.
And listen to children in their bedding frames.
A prayer for mummy, I know that’s right.
We played in the tunnels by candlelight.
The soft was clay, and the hard was rock.
Oh, All-mother save daddy, I almost forgot!
A wish for my sister whom I know the best.
I tell her I love her, and she gets the rest.
One more for brother, he lay next to me.
I’ve never adored another like he.
Oh, thank you Kay-ut for a lovely day.
For lighting your pyre to show me the way.
I’m forgetting someone, now who could that be?
Oh, of course! How silly! All-mother bless me.”
Her children were fast asleep as she finished the melody. Their peaceful stillness caused an ache in her heart.
“Goodnight sweethearts,” she whispered as she kissed their foreheads. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She rose and shut the door as quietly as she could.
Her beloved was sitting in bed with a wan expression. The paramedics had given both Braq and Yotun a once over and thoroughly chastised the man for staying on his feet. Her husband had denied being taken to hospital immediately, so had been ordered to remain bedridden until he would be collected in the morning.
“Can’t you sleep?” Turin said softly, Braq shaking his head stiffly. “No,” she said breathily. “I don’t think I can either. Th-the kids seem a little better. They help each other, I guess.”
“It’s Yotun I’d worry about,” Braq said numbly. “The lad… he’s been through a lot.” He drew in a deep breath. “And Teraka, thinking about it. No telling what he’ll do now. Goddess… that poor girl…” Turin scrubbed her paws in the basin, then threw some water on her face.
“What do you suppose he meant? ‘There’s more at stake than this little shack?’” Braq just shrugged absently. “I’ve been thinking, mutilating the roht was the right decision, but we also need to go over the house again.” She started pacing. “We should be as truthful as we can, go public with everything except Ki-yu. We knew there was something in the woods but couldn’t be sure. We also knew that Juran and Teraka had been killing our animals, we got some photos of their kills. We can use all that to make a case, bring it to the inquest.”
“Turin.” Braq mumbled.
“We’ll have to hide her as soon as possible, somewhere more remote,” she continued. “Deeper into the woods perhaps? Or find a den far across the valleys. But she can’t be too far removed so that we can keep an eye on her. She needs to be fed, so we’ll have to go stash her something…”
“Turin.”
“I think we should assume from now on that all our actions are being monitored, so that way-”
“Beloved…” Braq’s rough paw caught her wrist. He looked up at her earnestly. “It’s okay… you can stop now.”
“I…” The water flows in around her. “Every moment counts, we’ve got-“
“Tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll start early. But… please… you need to stop.” Turin shook her head.
“N-no, I- if I stop-!” Braq’s eyes grew teary, and she felt her fear ball in her chest. She hugged his head close where she stood, her lover's tears wetting her navel. “I-I-” Braq lovingly pulled her down into a tight hug. She felt castaway; her boat beached on some forgotten shore.
“Oh stars, Braq…” she whispered, exhausted as the surf crashed about her mind. “I’m s-so scared…”
“It’ll be okay,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”
Together, on that little island, they sobbed themselves to sleep.
---
“Men at some times are makers of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
– Cassius, in Julius Caesar, Act I Scene 2. Written by W. Shakespeare, 1599.
[Cover] - René Magritte
Links in comment.

how can I keep them from making me look old and ugly?

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday. I'll preface this by saying I'm going to sound extremely ungrateful but I need this off my chest.
So, I had to wake up early so I could go have breakfast with my family and grandparents which probably made me grouchy since I was exhausted. I headed downstairs to find some presents and that's where it kicked off. I know it's the thought that counts but I could tell absolutely no thought went into anything. A list of the gifts include:

• A handbag (I had warned my mum NOT to get me one multiple times cause I love the one I already have, but she hates it for some reason)
  
• 2 tank tops from a supermarket
  
• Sale chocolates from the shop I work in
  
• A print from an artist my parents like, not me
  
• A plush I picked for myself last month
  
• A can of dry shampoo
  

I could tell most of it was bought from a supermarket trip the week previous like they panicked over forgetting. Not once did my parents say happy birthday and when we went for breakfast barely anyone spoke to me, only talking about my sisters college and my dad's new car. I just felt extremely disappointed and I know that's selfish but after spending my 21st last year at the dump?! I thought maybe this year would be a little better.
When we got home I went straight to my boyfriends and just cried. He was able to talk me out of it and he made the rest of the day really special, I really love him for that. I'm just disappointed in my family for forgetting about me on my birthday.
(sorry if the format is weird, I'm writing on my phone)

hello all, I hope your day is wonderful. I wanted to share insight to this incredible film and maybe open some discussion.
this was my second time watching this film, the first time being the age of 14. 11 years later, I watched it and had to watch it over the course of 3 days — totally not intentional.
most know in contemporary society know that Jesus, Yeshua, Yahweh, Messiah, or however whichever way you address Him, it is representative of THE Divine.
the reason I am discussing this is because, I have been on my own path of truth for a little while now. I should say nor am I religious, but I am devout and faithful. I engage and believe heavily in the Divine daily; The Divine Mother and Father — eternity. whichever way this resonates for you, it’s all cool. what I am saying is this; Jesus was an example of pure Love and essential surrender, sent by the Divine. the surrender being to that which is the plan, the plan to all of this. the plan to your purpose.
I had to watch this movie over 3 days because each time I watched it, no word of a lie, His Spirit was with me and oh, I cried. I ached. I felt. I understood. I heard. I can’t give words for how I felt, but for the first time in hearing His story, there were just streams of tears that flowed down my cheeks nearly the whole time. so I had to pause watching it because it was so… powerful. I just remember thinking, “I am so sorry we did this to you, I am so sorry we don’t realize our wrongs until it’s too late” and this is exactly why he knew He had to die for us.
the only answer in which He ever had to give us was that we are to Love one another unconditionally without vanity.
awakening, spirituality, and growth has taught me so many beautiful things and I am so proud to have learnt and discovered myself in this life.
the idea of anyone thing belonging to a particular religion or race or person, in the form of words, money, land, people, resources is what is wrong. the message has been so misused to justify poor choices made by those who just want power.
what the ‘devil’ is, is knowledge, but using it incorrectly. AKA the forbidden fruit. this applies to literally anything, but if we want to get real, any type of misplaced egomaniacal behaviour, stemming from a place of fear and pain is where we seek comfort and ease.
the powers that be in our current world knows this, and uses these vices against us. what Jesus’s crucifixion was, was a testament that we shall come to know truth.
we shall come to understand what Unconditional Love means through the suffering of our own, by extending the suffering of your own to be that of the suffering of a stranger, as we all know and are connected to one another.
this New Age and spiritual awakening movement that we see ourselves in, is that the same of Jesus; where we come to realize there is more than this material world and He was the Divine modern era reminder of this.
to be one with all is to be one with self, but to be one with self, you must extend that Love in each and every way. with the material you input into your conscious waking mind, exactly how you treat each of those who you cross paths with, down to the type of food you prepare, and the last thought in your heart before you fall to sleep. it starts and ends with you.
you choose.
thank you for reading if you did, sending you so many blessings.
I Love You.

Introduction

Well hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
​

Apperance

I'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
​

Main Intrests/Hobbies

My main interests are either playing games with some friends on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
​

Future Prospects?

As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close friend of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
​

What am i looking for?

I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
No older than 27 please!
​

The End?

If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless

i’m doing an online egg hunt where I can win $1000, but i’m stuck at this question. i’ve tried everything possible, but i just can’t seem to find it. it’s a small shop so the products are limited. the hint was this picture. please someone help me!!!
(https://www.history.com/.amp/news/what-was-the-sword-of-damocles)

Introduction

Well hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
​

Apperance

I'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
​

Main Intrests/Hobbies

My main interests are either playing games with some mates on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
​

Future Prospects?

As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close mate of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
​

What am i looking for?

I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
No older than 27 please!
​

The End?

If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless

Over 2.5 years ago I went NC after a fight when I set my first boundary at 36. I said "no" to cancelling all my plans to help my mom on a day more convenient to the one she had already agreed on earlier that week. Then she exploded in a rage I hadn't seen in many years as I had become completely subservient as a coping mechanism.
This was during covid so the first year was very lonely being cut off from more and more family choosing my mom's side and blaming me for "hurting her by cutting ties". I got very depressed with suicidal feelings and didn't really know who I was outside that family structure with my role that I played so perfectly to survive. Luckily I have a good therapist now and am working trough my trauma with schema therapy.
Due to the trauma from bullying and my upbringing on top of having adhd and autism with many periods in my life with anxiety and depression, I hadn't been able to hold a job and mostly did volunteer work. My mom also sabotaged any plans I had by filling my head with doubts, basically projecting her own fears and beliefs onto me as I think she saw me as an extension of herself. My mom was a stay at home mom but always seemed to regret that and then cultivated some kind of martyr and victim narrative as to why her life didn't go her way and the safest place to be in her presence was to "fail" as well, to be dependent on her, but also not to be a bother to her.
After covid I got into a back to work program that I asked for myself to get on my own two feet again and rebuild the confidence that I could make something of my life instead of believing my mom's lies that I was both really smart like her but also would never hold a job because it was too hard for me.
About 5 weeks ago I started working as a bicycle mechanic, in a small shop with 3 other coworkers including the owner. The work culture is amazing, we eat breakfast together, someone cooks lunch every day, we are all equal here. No manipulation, no false pretenses, the other shoe hasn't dropped yet though of course I do have those fears that I can luckily discuss in therapy.On top of this crew being such a nice place where I feel like I have a future, they are all former refugees from Afghanistan and Muslim, while I was raised on so much anti Islamic and anti refugee hatred by my parents, being in an evangelical cult in my teens that my parents joined then.
So also on the part of my religious indoctrination as a kid/teen/young adult, this has been so healing. My coworkers are right now fasting for the ramadan, yet they bring me my breakfast and are fine with me eating. No guilt tripping, no angry faces, this feels so much more like family than I have ever felt growing up, yet this should be the thing I was raised to fear the most, guess that adds another lie to the list of many others my parents told me growing up.
The more I heal, the more I see the web my mom spun and how deep it goes, it is crazy how I used to think she was the only person who truly understood me, while all she did was mold me to be more like her to suit her own selfish needs and to confirm her own biases trough sabotaging me and my siblings.
I joked to my sister the other day about what mom would think of us now, being both NC with her and having jobs she would look down on as below our capabilities, yet we both couldn't be happier right now, without her.

Coming up on a month til the sequel, and it's gotten me in the mood to play through BotW again just to sate my excitement for the new game. I'm excited for the sequel because so much of what made BotW fun to me is carrying over and is being combined with a ton of new stuff to do and other new gameplay. So far, its looking not to different and not too similar to BotW. But similar to BotW at all is a good thing imo. Because of all of the things the game does right. So, I personally am happy to see so many features return. While playing it recently, I've been kind of reflecting in the back of my mind all the things that make BotW so much fun for me.
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Exploration and sidequesting are rewarded
This is probably my favourite thing about the game. Thinking back to my first Zelda game - Zelda II - I grew up on the NES & SNES titles. LA was there, too lol - My favourite part of those as a kid was finding secrets because I wandered off and stumbled on it. My curiosity was rewarded, and I think that's what made it so much fun. I'll never forget wandering off to Lake Hylia in ALttP and - after getting my ass handed to me several times - stumbling on the ice rod. It was pretty much the one thing that kept me coming back because the main quest didn't really keep my interest for long. The thing about sidequesting in BotW is that they expanded it far beyond what I ever thought was possible. And it's made for one of the most memorable Zelda experiences in my life.
I struggled early on with weapons. I fought a lot so I broke my swords and bows quite a bit. This is actually usually my playstyle in any Zelda game. I like to fight enemies and get better at it. In Zelda II, I leveled up so high before visiting the temples that it made them easier than I thought they'd be - because I did nothing but explore around. In BotW, I never actually ran out of any weapons because every time I ventured off somewhere off the beaten path, I'd either find a weapon, a shrine with a weapon, or more enemies with good weapons. The world never felt empty, there was always something to do or something to find. Its been a while since I've been in an overworld that had so much to do and pretty much the first time there's been one that has THIS much to do. It actually made it hard to find a stopping point. Because I'd see something I wanted to check out, and either my way there would be so busy or once I got there I'd see something else that piqued my interest.
I went into the Korok Forest not knowing there would be a requirement to pull the Master Sword. But because I wandered around so much and stumbled on so many shrines, I actually got it on my first try. Found out a couple wks later on miiverse from somebody that I had the bare minimum of what was required to get it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the game rewards people who venture out and do things off the beaten path. I got the sword after only one divine beast (I was on my way to my 2nd). And I could've gotten it without having visited any of the four "main" areas. But its just the fact that this is possible, you know?
Puts the "legend" in "legend of zelda"
The stories in the games I grew up in were mainly in the manual, and they made it seem like such epics that endured the ages. I think I've missed that angle from Zelda games. I think a lot of the later games tried too hard to have a plot tied to the player's actions rather than one tied to epic legends of the struggle of good vs evil. But that's what I like so much about BotW. They brought it back and make it a part of the world you play in. And they kind of play on two different ones, 100yrs ago and 10,000yrs ago. Even little things like the guy in the jungle stable talking about why the dual peaks are the way they are or the description mentioning the "warlike tribe from Faron" and the associated ruins.
I still remember when I first went to a stable in the northwest and talked with a woman who told me about ruins that were covered in darkness. And after a couple more days, I found it. But I had more fun with the legend than I did the ruins themselves for this very reason.
One of my favourites is the legend of the lord of the mountain. It starts with a description in the compendium. Then you can see a collection of plants from different regions all growing in one area and an apple orchard with farming tools, and a campsite nearby. And at the foot of the mountain is the ruins of a sage's temple. It's so subtle, yet so mind blowing.
There are even things that aren't really canon that I can play around with in my head. They give me a lot to work with. Like how in TWW the rito came from Zora. So, I like to think they came from them here too. I like to think that the time when they first founded their society on the reservoir, they were coming from Labrynna and achieved their goal of finding a new place to live as they said in OoA; but they didn't all travel together. Another group of the same Zora ventured out before they knew the reservoir was discovered and found themselves in an arid place, and tried their best to stay near water - more particularly lake totori; but they struggled in the arid environment and, over time, evolved into the rito. Again, not canon, but it's fun to think about.
Not centered around the main quest
Okay, it is technically centered around the main quest because it tells us to beat Ganon. But what I mean is that there is a ton in the game that isn't required and is either just as fun or more fun than what you do on the beaten path. It's such a beloved feature to me because it reminds me of the Zelda games I grew up with. Yeah, the only way to progress in Zelda II is complete temples, but you can improve Link's abilities simply by wandering around and fighting enemies or finding secret point bags. In Zelda I, you can get a lot of items just by fighting enemies, getting rich, and buying them. Sure, you can't get what you could call the "main" items of the game, but there's still a lot you can do without entering dungeons.
When I left the plateau, I went straight south first from Oman Au. I wanted to see the ocean. But then, I ended up in the jungle. Being in the jungle so early in the game was how I learnt to get good with the controls, I needed to in order to survive lol - it was one of the most interesting areas in the whole game to me. And the beautiful part of that is that the area isn't necessary at all to any part of the story or main objective. It's just there to be interesting. And for me personally, it was there as an extra challenge.
The same goes for Hebra. Not even necessary to go there. But I went through the region to get to the rito divine beast. And I hadn't been to the desert. So, not only did I not have the rito set yet to bear the cold, but I also didn't even know the snowboots existed. And by this point in the game for me, the enemies had upgraded to black. I was short on resources too so making elixirs/meals was still very limited for me. I had to completely change my combat strategy because of how much slower I was, and so I could avoid getting frozen. Needless to say, I got beat up a lot lol - but it made for a memorable experience.
Which is funny, the two least relevant regions in the game ended up becoming among the most memorable for me. In many other later Zelda games, areas like that don't even have anything to entertain yourself with so you kind of have to move on to a relevant place. In the earliest games, every area has something - an enemy to fight or a secret to find; so it wasn't much of a problem there. It seems like the BotW team got into Miyamoto's 1980s mindset and made the world as full of stuff as they possibly could with just stuff to stumble on.
Interacting with the world
I know it's kind of a cliche to praise BotW's physics and stuff but I can't just not mention it. Maybe I'm just easily entertained but all of the little details with interacting with the game world occupied a lot of my attention in my first 200hrs or so, though I still bask in a lot of them to this day. Even little things like being able to punt the stal skulls or having metal weapons gets you struck by lightning.
Slipping while climbing in the rain was shown off on the E3 treehouse thing, and I was so excited for it. It really did feel like they put a ton of care and detail into how the world works. Throughout my first playthough, I spent a lot of time figuring out ways to climb in the rain. Since I spent a lot of time in the jungle early on, I quickly found out that if you climb those tall trees with the huge leaves over them, it's still dry; and that you can use them to get high up and jump over to the cliff walls and climb the rest of the way. It was little things like this that made a big impact on me playing BotW.
The option to turn off help and other functions
One thing that really put me off was my first time playing OoT. My biggest gripe was navi, and it remains my biggest problem with the game to this day. It was so offputting to me because it wasn't like that in the Zelda series until that point. Tips in Zelda I or II were pretty much in the manual, and I never read those. In ALttP, once you get past tutorial castle the tips are optional via those squares on the walls that I ignored entirely during my time with the game. But ignoring navi wasn't a possibility. Being forced to have the game hold my hand throughout was frustrating and to this day makes me hesitant to replay OoT. It's one of many reasons I prefer 2D Zelda to 3D, although TMC has some of that too. TP & SS are two games I have yet to replay for similar reasons. Way too much handholding, but also too linear.
That's why when I found out you can turn off the waypoints and other stuff, I was relieved beyond ALL comprehension. No more being stopped to be told how to open a door, no more having to listen to a monologue about my next objective after finishing a main quest, no more being stopped to be asked if I'm sure I want to fight a boss or something. Nope. I can freely do what I want, when I want. The devs assume I know how to press A and how to read. And that feels good. Not only that, I'm not held back from exploring or getting myself into trouble at any point. I can just... play the game. That was something I sorely missed from games past.
I honestly didn't quite like using the champions' powers, they feel too cheat-y for my taste. I actually went into the start menu after I first obtained Mipha's Prayer and I was actually surprised I could turn it "off" so that I didn't get revived automatically if I happened to get myself killed (which I did, a lot - especially after I went to Hebra for the first time) and I couldn't help but feel super grateful for that option if I didn't wanna play that way. And that's the neat thing about freedom in BotW, it goes beyond the gameworld and lets the player have freedom in general. I will never be not-happy about the option to change the language. The engrish dub nearly ruined the cutscenes. I think they updated for the option somewhere halfway through my adventure. And I am forever grateful for that addition.
Honestly can't wait to see what else is in store for this new game. Even from what little they've shown us, I've been able to tell 2 things: That there are so many new things that I'll never get bored through completing the game and that the game did not deviate so far from BotW that it will lack what made the open air concept so fun in the first place. I can't wait!

i’m doing an online egg hunt where I can win $1000, but i’m stuck at this question. i’ve tried everything possible, but i just can’t seem to find the next product with a hint. it’s a small shop so the products are limited. the hint was this picture of damocles made by richard westall. please someone help me!!!

My dad works at this place don't want to give too much detail but there's a lot of heavy metal there. It's in this small neighborhood. Their are meth heads that live right behind the place he works. My dad and I have kinda had a week long binge. For some reason one of his co workers told him he should stay till midnight but . Then he started wondering why he said that. My dad started to notice that some stuff in the yard at his work everyday this week has been inching their way twords a corner of the gate Ware it gets incredibly dark at night. So my dad starts questioning why that is. So Friday at midnight he goes up there. The moment he heads down the road he sees a shadow of a woman run up to the gate and runs back up to the house. He also sees a shadow on top on the building duck down. Then he sees two people on bikes on the road riding away from his work Wich he thought was sketchy. But he comes back home cause he has to back to work early in the morning.
The next morning it's just him and another coworker who also dose gear and that's the only people who are there. My dad tells him about what happened and my dad said when he said that to him he looked scared. A little bit later my dad began to hear some people talking. So he asks the coworker. Did you hear that and they said must be radio waves mann jokingly. Then a little bit later they both hear someone on the roof sawing something. But they kinda wasn't sure if it was real. The coworker starts telling my dad that he's been seeing shadows dart around in the yard in the morning. My dad tells him he's been seeing the same thing so after my dad gets off work. He starts telling me about all this and I just think he's just really high out there you know cause we both have been up for almost a week. But he decides to go back there Saturday at midnight but this time there's a old dude parked in a truck at the beging of the street with his parking lights on. My dad drives down the street and the old man in the truck starts following him far behind my dad's truck. When he's close to the building he hears a whistle from the house across the street and he sees the same thing shadow on the roof this time he saw the lady who ran up to the gate sitting on her porch she's the one who whistle. This time their are a lot of shadows moving around only the darkest spots but they kept moving to different spots and trying to see if they were spotted. Then my dad thought it would be a better idea to park at the near by store and walk up on them. Cause if they didn't see any headlights coming or a familiar truck the neighbors see park there every day he may have a good chance of catching them. So he starts walking down the nighberhood street and gets this feeling he's being watched and their aren't many street lights on the road so it gets darker. After a few steps in the dark he hears someone loading a gun. So he starts walking backwards acting like he's reaching for a gun in his trenchcoat. And begins walking back to the store his truck is parked at. He says he's gonna go back and I really believe what he's saying I'll try to update if we find out more.

I’m 22, 5’7 about 120 pounds. I’ve wanted a bike my whole life and am going to be getting one very soon. I found a bike near me for $1200. A 91 cr80r. It’s the cheapest one I’ve found and I prefer Hondas so I’m thinking about getting it. What do you all think of this as a first bike? I feel like it might be easier learning on a 4 stroke? But I came across a decent deal so

Section 1: New Mods, who dis?
SCJerk head mod Drama79 finally realises what an uncontrollable shit-hole SCJerk has become, so he adds two new mods to the team to clean up shop
An auto-mod is also being used more often to remove edgelord and off-topic posts. However just days after it begins being more active on the sub, SCJerk users start downvoting its posts. The account currently has an overall negative comment karma score.
SCJerk users complain about the auto-mod in this now removed thread
When Drama79 tries explaining the new rules and the role of the auto-mod, he gets downvoted for his troubles
Things get so bad that the mods literally have to make a pinned thread explaining what a circlejerk is
Section 2: Hating a wrestler doesn't count as a personality trait
With individual shit-posts being deleted at a record rate, some SCJerk posters have picked a new poison - hating a particular wrestling personality to the point of obsession. As SCJerk users tend to target women, it's no suprise that Fusionman29 made all of these posts about Britt Baker in the space of just a few days;
In reference to alledged beef between Britt and Thunder Rosa;

Remember when I buried Thunder Rosa because I’m racist and my entire friend clique is strangely white women?
There’s undertones to “everything that comes out of Rosa’s mouth is stupid” combined with “everything that she says SOUNDS DUMB”. Also there’s the multiple clips of her blaming the injured woman for being hurt as it hurts her I mean the womens division
So I’m surprised nobody’s brought it up yet but Rosa is now using her Twitter to translate Tony’s PR tweets. So she’s been made to apologize to the people who bullied her and now has been turned into a PR translator. This is insane. How did Britt and her clique get that much political power in AEW?
Britt will make sure no photos of Rosa are in that hall of fame. She’ll just put her own egotistical self over and make you write a 100 word minimum essay about how Britt saved womens wrestling to enter her wing
“No AEW all access is in kayfabe, Britt isn’t a politicking mean girl”
so if we’re assuming this is AEW’s pitch that all access is “authentic” are we supposed to believe they think Britt clearly bullying Rosa is acceptable to air? at this point even if Britt was right I’d side against her cause she bullies Rosa non-stop for around a year now. No professional company should be rewarding Britt for all of this
Britt realized losing that feud means someone is more important than her can’t have that brother
Britt Baker: I’m not a bully but Rosa is a liar and it’s all her fault Tony can’t book women! Why can’t Rosa just work injured!
She’s a dentist she knows Rosa should be medically cleared! She has a medical degree after all!
Because Tony runs AEW and Tony can’t see why anyone would be mad at Britt Baker, the kindest, sweetest woman ever
“See I have the same injury as Rosa and I can wrestle. Guess she’s just selfish and lazy and stupid.” This fucking woman is legit going to get blackballed by wwe and somehow take Cole down with her
I can’t imagine why she isn’t going to the company where the bosses favorite is at best a horrible toxic bitch to her and at worst racially charged hatred and jealously constantly. In a culture that condones the bullying as we see constantly

In a unrelated thread about Rhea Ripley;

Well she’s a gross muscular woman with muscles. She should look like she’s never hit a gym in her life to be a real star. Maybe become a dentist

When Matt Hardy makes a tweet about AEW's booking;

Tony Khan isn’t a mark! He just doesn’t listen to the best minds in the business and instead listens to Britt Baker and Cutie Marshalls!

This is all on top of a thread he made earlier in the month where he accused Britt of being a racist;

I can’t believe AEW would air footage making their top woman look like the racist Karen she actually is

Section 3: Users we lost
Evilknievel- - SCJerk user who made this misogynistic post about Aubrey Edwards back in January has been suspended by Reddit
Section 4: General edgelord behaviour

Stardom is pretty fun, but it's a niche company for creepy old men who like watching young girls do badass or cute goofy stuff.
The Western Stardom fanbase is 90% fetishists, 5% people who are genuinely interested in it, and a further 5% of people who are genuinely interested in it, but understand that banging on about it makes them look like they've got a fetish, so just watch it quietly.

The auto-mod removed alot of individual posts so the last section is short of material this month.

Right out of the gate, I will preface this by saying that I'm well aware that this is not a TV/ AV/ Home Tech sub.
The reason I'm posting here is that it seems near impossible to get a reliable opinion on what product to go for if you're shopping in the South African tech market.
There's hardly a wide range of locally relevant tech reviewers (doubtless because things are so horrendously expensive). Looking up South African reviews or opinions for televisions has thrown frustratingly few results, and ideally, I'd like a range of opinions to draw a conclusion and that just doesn't seem to be the case locally.
Basically, I want to buy a TV, 55 inch, 4k, no more than R13, 000.
I want something that's going to last years.
If, at that budget, I'm being ludicrous, feel free to call me out for that.
I guess the easy decision would be Hisense, who seem to be flooding our market with budget friendly TVs, and intially the Hisense UH8 4k seemed massively appealing until it turned out that the version supplied here is considerably different from the version that's garnered so much praise elsewhere. Hisense don't seem to be willing to point this out and seem happy to allow this local version to ride the wave of praise given to a different product, which does seem a bit dishonest.
The other one I'm erring towards is the Hisense A8h OLED, going for R13k on Takealot.
But again, that's Hisense and I'm feeling a bit dubious about them.
So if anyone can point me in the the right direction, I'll be grateful
Wanted: 55 inch 4k TV that will last years. Also, local dimming seems to be thing for better picture quality and deeper blacks so that would be ideal too.
Budget: R13 000

Hello guys,
I need your lights please🙏
1st, Devialet had all my attention and curiosity then I did some researchs and done few listening (shop and youtube)until it brings me here. I am new in the hifi world.
Living in a house with 430sq ft living room, using bose smart speaker 500. I have now the chance to invest in a stereo system, bookshelf speakers(budget between 2k€ and 3k€ maximum, I dont mind buying second hand). Use : serious listening 80% (streaming only) but i am now thinking more and more to plug my tv, 20%).
I did some research, 1st I was thinking of kef ls50w2 vs. bluesound powernode + kef ls50meta and then add a subwoofer (kc62 or svb equivalent)but later for economic reason. I am also open to other suggestion for passive speaker.
I only had the chance to test the ls50w2 so at this time it s very subjective. i ll try to test those passive config too but i would like to have your thoughts on it.. is it equivalent in term of listening ? What are pros and cons ? I listen to pop, indie rock and rap. Need of bass that s why devialet initially gets me but after i try kef, the level of detail, discover the sound of all these instruments. All these combined to how i listen music now, less party more chilling week ends morning but still need bass.
Apologies for the long story, even if it s all about feeling i am open to your advices.
Thanks guys🙏🙏

I have a project assignment from my Uni and I have fallen very sick at the moment. I was wondering if anyone can make a wrist watch image on Adobe Illustrator and share it with me.
It would be highly appreciated.
So the wrist watch isn't anything special. A normal wrist watch with chain partly showing is enough. You can make it any style or brand you like. Like the eye catching ones you see on Online Shops or Adverts.
(Features: Watch Dial Face, Watch Hands, Time Numerics, maybe a modern sleeky design)

I have been with J off and on nearly 3 years, I have told him about my history of sexual trauma Previous to this latest incident he came to my house late one night drunk and coerced me into sex during which I froze and was unable to say no Also another time while we were both drunk, he didn't wear protection after me asking him to, finished in me and then wouldn't talk to me after I fell pregnant then consequently had a miscarriage Prior to the above incident, he had a vasectomy performed but never went back to have it's success verified despite me asking numerous times We are both shift workers, last week we went to bed late before our 12.5 hour shifts the next day We got into bed and had a cuddle before J asked if I wanted to get intimate. I said no as it was too late He said it's never too late, I said no and he put it in, I said no again. I froze then eventually moved away He said afterward that he didn't feel that it was in. it wasn't violent and he stopped after I moved away In the following days we discussed it and he acknowledged how I felt, but stated it was simply a miscommunication and he felt like I saw him as a predator. I don't know what to do, would you stay? could the relationship be repaired after this?

we’ve been together nearly 4 years, our anniversary is less than two weeks away. we started dating a year before the pandemic, and in the beginning he expressed he wasn’t comfortable with period sex. my previous partner was so it was a little bit of an adjustment for me, but my previous partner also made me do sexual things i wasn’t comfortable with so i prioritized how my bf felt about it over how i felt about it. a month before the pandemic, i got my iud. i experienced spotting every day for 3 months straight, and because of this, the topic obviously boiled up and needed attention. slowly, through exposure and some thought to it, he came around to the idea and we started to have sex with my light spotting (most of it flushed out once i got turned on obviously). the spotting stopped after the 3 months, and then i stopped getting my period in general, so the problem was resolved seemingly. flash forward 3 years, im assuming the hormones on it are either changing or running out, as i’m starting to get my period again. he and i are both readjusting, re-learning the cramps and the emotional swings, the cravings and whatnot, but last night we tried to be intimate. he’s aware i’m on my period and he initiated. the last time i was on my period and he initiated, he backed out and i got insecure, so i was hoping he’d worked it through in the passed month. once he told me he wanted to take some clothes off, i piped up and reminded him i was on my period and asked if that was okay. he asked if i was “actively bleeding,” and i paused a little bit out of confusion. that was the period part. i said yes. he got quiet and basically told me he didn’t want to anymore, that it wasn’t me and that it was the blood that freaked him out. i got quiet too but went into comfort mode, saying it was alright and that i didn’t want him to do anything sexually he wasn’t comfortable with. he stayed quiet and just kept saying he was sorry. i said it was fine a couple times but hid how hurt i felt again. feeling like a teenager, feeling so ashamed of her natural body. during a period it’s so normal to be craving sex, too. we both kinda turned our backs to each other and fell asleep after that, but i keep thinking about it. i feel like i went to sleep with blue balls and now am left with this insecurity. not only do i not want to be sexually ungratified, but i don’t want to be left with this feeling of feeling like a gross bleeding nasty monster (which is obviously not true). however i also don’t want to be a pushy partner that forces someone to do something they aren’t comfortable with for selfish purposes. is there anything i can physically do or how to approach talking to him? any exposure therapy that has helped other couples with a “blood barrier”?
tldr; bf worked through his period sex fear previously but it’s come back after a couple years, is there anything i can do to improve this part of my relationship or do i just have to respect his boundary?

My brother won't stop harassing me around the house, insulting me and making fun of me. Does anyone know what to do if someone's nearly constantly stalking you?