I don't know if this could be considered a vintage recipe as it's from The Way to Cook published in 1989. It's a good way to make a sauteed chicken.
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* Exported from MasterCook *
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Sauteed Chicken
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Recipe By :
Serving Size : 4 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Julia Child
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Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
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2 1/2 pounds chicken pieces, with legs and thighs separated, up to 3 lbs. total
2 tablespoons clarified butter, or olive oil, or 2 tablespoons butter and 1 tablespoon olive oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Big pinch of tarragon or thyme, optional
**Optional Deglazing Sauce**
1 tablespoon minced shallots, or scallions
1/2 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup dry white wine, or dry white French Vermouth
1 tablespoon butter, up to 2 tbsp. total, for final sauce, optional
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley, chives, or tarragon, optional
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**Browning the Chicken**
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Be sure the chicken is well dried or it will not brown properly. Set the frying pan over moderately high heat; add the oil and/or butter. When it is very hot but not smoking, lay in the chicken pieces skin side down. (Do not crowd the pan: there should be a little air space between each piece for proper browning; do the chicken in two batches if necessary.) Turn the chicken every 20 seconds or so, allowing it to color a fairly even walnut brown on all sides. If you've a mixture of white meat (breasts and wings) and dark (legs and thighs), remove the white meat to a side dish after browning: it takes a little less time to cook than dark meat.
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**Finishing the Cooking**
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Cover the pan, lower the heat to moderate, and if you've removed the white meat, cook the dark meat slowly (it should sizzle gently) about 6 minutes, turning once. Then return the white meat to the pan. Baste the chicken pieces with the accumulated fat and juices in the pan; season the chicken lightly with salt, pepper and optional herbs. Cover the pan again and cook another 6 minutes. Turn the chicken , baste again, and continue cooking 7 to 8 minutes more, basting once again. The chicken is done when the chicken is no longer pink and the juices run clear.
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**Deglazing the Sauce**
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Remove the chicken pieces to hot plates or a platter. Rapidly spoon all but a tablespoon of fat out of the sauté pan. Stir in the tablespoon of minced shallots or scallions and cook for a few seconds over high heat, stirring. Pour in the 1/2 cups of chicken stock and of wine, and boil, scraping up coagulated juices fro the bottom of the pan; continue boiling and swirling the pan for a moment until the liquid has boiled down to almost syrupy stage. Remove the pan from heat and, if you wish, swirl in a tablespoon or two of butter by spoonfuls - to smooth out and enrich the sauce. Pour the sauce over the chicken, strew on the optional herbs, and serve as soon as possible. Serves 4.
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The Way to Cook
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Source:
"The Way to Cook"
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Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 3 Calories; trace Fat (19.5% calories from fat); trace Protein; trace Carbohydrate; 0g Dietary Fiber; 0mg Cholesterol; 268mg Sodium. Exchanges: .
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Nutr. Assoc. : 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Synopsis:

Ten years ago, Amelia woke up alone and lost in a broken world where she had to fight for her survival.
Now, after reaching the pinnacle of power, defeating the Void itself, and escaping the abyss, she has finally found her way back into the real world. But instead of finding herself on Earth, she is in the land of Vacuos. A fantasy world with magic, monsters, Classes, and Levels. A world that is governed by a System like it were a video game.
And when rewarded with a Class befitting her accomplishments— to become a powerful [Hero] that will forever dedicate her life to protecting this world that is not her own— she only has one response.
“Absolutely not. I’m going to live a normal life now, thank you very much.”
After all, who needs a Class when you're already the strongest anyways?

Read Chapter 1 Here
Guardian Angel Z357 sensed it. All twelve of his eyes were fixed on his destination as he soared above the clouds. He recognized a small city as it came into view, and he knew that he was returning there again.
Again.
While the World System didn’t notice this pattern, he did. This was the same location as before. Thrice now, the area around this city had been assailed by creatures who had been touched by the Void. And the fact that it had happened three times could not be a coincidence.
There had to be a reason behind it. Guardian Angel Z357 had been too late to the scene the second time around since he had two choices to pick from, and he decided to go for the rift. But he didn’t learn anything from that encounter.
No— he never learned anything that he did not know already from any encounter he had thus far. And that was why he decided to act outside of his current objective. It wasn’t a rejection of the World System’s command. Rather, he was expanding on it.
Guardian Angel Z357 slowed to a halt as he reached the farming village, his gaze landing on his target. There, he saw it. A monster twisted by the Void’s touch. A creature that had been ripped away from the World System’s warm embrace, plunged into depravity and turned into a terrible abomination.
He saw the way the kretus boar lumbered forward, its body shifting with each step it took. A purple stain spread over its flesh, emanating a soft glow, and it let out a screech like the chirping of a thousand birds. Guardian Angel Z357 raised his lance as the Void-touched monster approached the nearby houses—
And he stopped himself.
He didn’t intervene. Instead, he waited. Invisible. Hidden by Without a Trace. He watched as a blonde girl engaged with the tainted beast. Because he realized— there was more he could learn from simply looking on.
—--
“Get back!” Noele yelled as she drew both of her blades.
Her voice could barely be heard over the screeching of the boar and the screaming of the terrified crowd— a whisper amidst the cacophonous clamor. The ground shook. The earth rumbled. The gathered crowd screamed. [Farmers] and [Traders] and [Hunters] alike scrambled for safety, fleeing the sight of the approaching dust cloud.
A kretus boar rapidly approached Wolfwater, tearing through the nearby forest and trampling the farmland. It was a large, terrible beast. It would have probably inflicted significant damage to the village on its own— maybe even destroying the surrounding villages as well before it was put down. But if it were an ordinary kretus boar, Noele wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest.
She was an A-ranked adventurer, and it was a B-ranked monster. The Noble Spellsword knew she could bring it down with ease on her own. In fact, she had easily killed one just a day ago. All it took was a single Elegant Noble Slash, and the sturdy kretus boar was defeated.
But this kretus boar was different. Her eyes narrowed as she tightly gripped the hilts of both her blades. Even from a distance, she saw the way its oleaginous form rippled with a purple aura— its figure could hardly contain itself, twisting and turning as it continued barreling closer.
It had been touched by the Void. Maybe it might have even been blessed by the Void. She didn’t know. If it was the latter, then this was going to be a tough fight. She might not be able to take down the kretus boar without any casualties. On her own, she couldn’t prevent any collateral damage from inflicting Wolfater. Not unless she…
Her eyes flickered towards a blue screen.
[Class advancement available! Please choose one of the following Class advancements:
[Champion Spellsword] - A [Champion Spellsword] is a protector of justice—]
But Noele quickly looked past it, focusing on the situation at hand. She wasn’t going to make a decision now. She had to focus on protecting her village. The twisted kretus boar drew closer with incredible speed. The terrified crowd couldn’t evacuate in time— they were at a complete loss as to what to do. They shouted and scattered, fleeing in every direction.
The Noble Spellsword knew she couldn’t save them all amidst the chaos. They had to gather somewhere safe— a bunker, perhaps. A place where their safety was… guaranteed.
And the blonde girl’s eyes darted towards a nearby building. A relatively small building. But if everyone squeezed together, it might be able to house over a hundred people. It was Bucky’s Out of this World Restaurant, and it was the safest place in the entirety of Wolfwater.
So before the kretus boar reached the village, Noele acted.
“You!” she shouted, turning to face Lucas and his goons.
They were warily backing away as they eyed the monster. They were [Hunters]. Low-leveled ones at that. They had drawn their weapons, but none of them stood a chance of hurting the Void-touched beast.
The Noble Spellsword shook her head. “Make yourselves useful and evacuate everyone to the restaurant!”
Lucas blinked, staring at her with wide eyes. He tried to work his jaw as he glanced between her and the oncoming beast.
“B-b-but…” he started.
“Now!” she cut him off.
The C-rank [Hunter] jerked back, before finally nodding. He turned to his men and gestured for them to follow after him.
“Come on, boys!” he said as he started back.
“What can I do, Noele?” another voice said, drawing the blonde girl’s attention.
Dorien calmly stepped to her side. He was a [Druid]— his Class wasn’t known for their combat Skills, and he wasn’t even that high-leveled either. Yet, he was not panicking. He just held Noele’s gaze, waiting for her response.
“Please— can you check on my parents?” Noele asked pleadingly. “I know Garron’s with them, but you need to keep them away from the village until this is over.”
“Very well. That is the least I can do.” Dorien smiled at her before sinking into the earth. He vanished underground as the Noble Spellsword nodded to herself.
Her [Nobleflame Armor] engulfed her body, protecting her from most physical and magical attacks. She strode forward as she readied herself for battle. She took one last look back at the village. Lucas and his goons were doing a good job at bringing some semblance of order back to the unfurling pandemonium. But it was too late.
The kretus boar reached Wolfwater a moment later, letting out a terrible screech as it toppled a tree, sending it flying towards a nearby house. The large tree trunk crashed through the rooftop as the monster charged towards the closest building. And Noele leapt forward, intercepting it in an instant.
“Stay back!” she yelled as her shorter blade shone with a golden light. “I will not let you destroy my home! Glorious Noble Slash!”
The Noble Spellsword swung down at the kretus boar. It reeled as the bright flash engulfed it for a moment. She unleashed the attack with all her strength, hoping to destroy this Void-touched monstrosity in a single slash. She wasn’t sure if it would be enough. She hoped it would be quick and easy, just like her battle with the Miststorm Riders.
But as the blast of golden light faded, Noele realized… the kretus boar was gone. She stared at a cone-shaped crater, spreading out from the tip of her blade. The dust and debris dissipated, and there was nothing left before her.
She frowned. “That was… too easy—”
And there was a flash of purple light. Noele blinked as the kretus boar appeared behind her. She spun around just in time to stare at a pair of empurpled tusks swinging down at her. The Noble Spellsword cursed as she called for her own movement Skill.
“[Flash Step].”
She appeared a hundred feet to the right, panting as she gathered herself. Noele raised her head and watched as the Void-touched beast shredded the ground with its tusks. There was a small explosion that blasted upwards from the attack, but fortunately, it didn’t damage any of the nearby structures.
Noele steeled herself as she tried to process what just happened. “The kretus boar— teleported…?”
It wasn’t a question as much as it was an observation. She pursed her lips, eyeing the monster warily as it turned to face her. It beat one of its hooves on the ground as an oily purple liquid dripped out of its unhinged maw.
Her eyes narrowed. She wanted to lunge forward and attack the kretus boar once more. But instead, she waited. If it could teleport with the Void’s powers, then there was no point senselessly charging in. It would just dodge and counterattack anyway.
So she studied the monster as it slowly drew forward, opening its jaw even wider. She raised her two blades warily.
“What is it doing?” she asked.
And the kretus boar answered as a glint came from its mouth. Her eyes snapped wide. She realized what it was doing. A purple sphere shot out from the monster’s open jaw in an instant. Like a kind of roiling fireball, except far stronger.
Noele’s eyes darted back towards the fleeing crowd behind her. If she dodged this attack, she’d be endangering the lives of the nearby bystanders. She gritted her teeth and stood her ground. Her longer blade glimmered with a sharp aura, before she sliced up at the purple sphere.
“Elegant Noble Slash!”
The Noble Spellsword cleanly cut the attack in half. The two hemispheres broke off, before exploding weakly at her side. Her [Nobleflame Armor] protected her from the blast as she took a step forward. But the kretus boar was gone once again.
This time, Noele was too slow. The kretus boar appeared at her side as she spun around, raising her two blades. She couldn’t block the attack. The twisted monster crashed into her shoulder making her shout in pain.
She went flying. Noele watched as the world spun beneath her, and the kretus boar gave chase to her like she was a thrown toy. Gritting her teeth, she flipped through the air and landed before a thicket of trees. But the kretus boar was on her in an instant. And she raised a hand as a wisp of golden flame coalesced at the tip of her finger.
“[Grand Blaze],” she whispered, unleashing an inferno straight at the monster.
Noele watched as the golden flames engulfed the kretus boar. She caught it off guard— it couldn’t teleport out of the way in time. But as the flames dissipated and the Noble Spellsword straightened, the kretus boar emerged from the inferno unscathed.
Its eyes shone darkly as it slowly lumbered forward, and Noele pursed her lips. It didn’t even dodge the blast. It didn’t need to regenerate from its injuries, because it suffered none.
“Seriously? That was an A-rank Skill…” Noele murmured as the kretus boar screeched and beat its hooves on the ground.
It seemed that this fight was going to be much harder than she thought it would be. And she raised her two blades once against, readying for the next charge.
—--
The ground shook as the pot rattled. I raised my head, frowning. I heard the shouts and screams in the distance— then I heard a loud explosion. I shook my head even as a loud ruckus entered the restaurant, followed by the footsteps and worried voices of over a hundred people.
Bucky clucked, sprinting into the kitchen. She waved her wings wildly at me, but I continued cutting away at the chopping board, dicing up onions, garlic, and other vegetables.
“Bawk bawk bawk!” the chicken said in a panic.
“Noele can handle it,” I replied, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m busy— this is my first time making kebabs. I don’t want to fuck up on the grand opening of the restaurant.”
But Bucky insisted. “Bawk bawk! Bawk bawk bawk!”
I sighed, taking a step back. “Fine— I’ll check it out in a minute. Let me wash my hands first.”
The chicken just stared at me blankly as I wiped my hands on my apron, before walking up to the sink. It took me a moment to work the magical runes as Bucky clucked insistently at me to hurry up.
I rolled my eyes, nodding reassuringly at her. “You’re overreacting. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Author's Notes:
You can read up to 15 chapters ahead on my patreon here!
Join my discord and subscribe to my subreddit!
Or follow me on twitter!

Read Previous Read Next Read Chapter 1 Here Patreon Discord Twitter AmeliaTLZHNovel

Hello! All my life, my mom's cooked for me. But now that I am in uni and in my early 20s, I feel ashamed to have my mom send me food every week, so I've decided to start teaching myself how to cook properly.
As the title says, I am intimidated by cooking. I know how to cook a simple chicken breast, make an omelette, french fries and really easy things like that, but I can't live off of those alone.
Could anyone give me some tips, some recipes, point me in the right direction, please? I feel very overwhelmed every time I look up a recipe and see how many things need to be done, it discourages me.
Important to mention that I have very limited space, no oven and no hood (? I dunno what it's called in English, it's that thing over the stove that ventilates air, gas, fumes, grease etc.).
I have a stove and an air fryer.
I should also mention that I've had a gastric sleeve, so cooking big portions is not a concern for me. Small is preferable, actually.

Was just about to head out to get indian food for lunch. It would have included butter chicken, vegetable samosa, and LOTS of Naan.
Didn't do it. Instead, chicken thighs in the air fryer, and a broccoli-cauliflower salad from the fridge.
Yay me.

Hi, I just want to include a disclaimer here: this script is NOT for the faint of heart. This shit gets dark, as both the speaker and listener characters are real sick, sadistic pieces of shit. Please proceed with caution or click off if you’re uncomfortable with any of the themes mentioned.
I’ve included a full list of tags here: [AFA] [M4A] [F4A] [Reverse-Yandere] [Yandere(?)] [Sadistic Speaker] [Not in the 'Fun' Way] [Private Eye] [Mystery] [Horror] [Thriller] [Stalking] [Betrayal] [Listener's Plan Backfiring] [Drugging and Mentions of Drugging] [Lots of Swearing] [Bad Jokes] [Coffee Shop AU Gone Wrong] [Being Tied Up and Gagged] [Speaker Character: So, Anyway, I Started Monologuing; As a Treat :)))] [Bad Policing] [Possible Nepotism] [Breaking and Entering] [Mentions of Murder] [Mentions of Torture] [Some Psychological Torture Elements] [Threats of Bodily Harm] [Death Threats] [Stress Positions at the End]
I am a keen fan of horror and it definitely shows. If you’re not a fan of the horror and/or thriller genres, this probably isn’t for you.
This is not and should not be interpreted as a kink/fetish thing. I am Ace and, consequently, I am very uncomfortable with my work being sexualised. That being said, while I do not approve of any of the genders in the script being changed (especially that of the listener, as I want to keep this open to everyone), I am more understanding towards rewording and/or leaving some of the more uncomfortable parts or trigger words out.
None of what’s mentioned here is meant to, in anyway, mock or glorify their real world equivalents. I just like writing evil characters who deserve everything that’s coming to them. They’re fun to hate and rip apart :)
Personally, I would be reluctant to classify this as ASMR. I feel that Audio Roleplay would a better title, simply because this is anything but relaxing.
If you want to monetise this mess, by all means feel free, aside from places with paywalls like Patreon, and give me credit. Please just send a link in the comments, so I can see it :)
Also, please don’t use stolen art in your thumbnails. Credit the artists. Thanks :)
(Wow, I have spent way too long on this lol; the brain worms demanded a sacrifice and they are finally satiated)
***
(For Speaker)
This past year had easily been the most terrifying in your life. It had taken an honestly embarrassingly long time to put the pieces together but you finally had the full picture. And it was a hideous, monstrous thing.
No-one was coming to save you. You’d learnt that lesson the hard way. You were alone, forced to placate and humour a monster that was drawing closer and closer, toying with its food. It wanted to hurt you. It would hurt you if you didn’t do anything.
So, how to you hurt a monster? You become one yourself.
And if you happen to get a little carried away? Oh, well. You’ve always been a strong believer in karma anyway…
***
(For Listener)
Finally, after years of waiting, this was it. It had taken so long and so much effort but it was finally going to pay off. That cute little barista (with a certainly interesting side-gig) was inviting you over to their house. It would just be the two of you. No friends. No family. No distractions or witnesses. You’d made sure of that.
They were finally within your grasp. They were finally going to be yours. To have. To love. To ruin.
It’s going to be exhilarating finally being able to watch their sweet face morph in pain, knowing you were the only thing on their mind.
Finally, you’ll be alone with them. Nothing can go wrong…
***
(Use general sound effects and background music to make scenes more immersive)
(Sound of knocking, followed by front door opening)
Heyyyyyyy! Good see you!
(Sound of hugging. Speaker then pulls back and claps listener on the back)
Come in, come in! Welcome to my humble abode!
(Sound of door shutting)
Shoe rack is over here and coat hooks are at the end of the hall.
Would you like anything to drink? Tea? Coffee?
[.]
(Customer service voice) And do you want any milk or sugar with that? I have soya or oat milk, if you’d prefer (a laugh).
[.]
Cool. I’ll be back in a moment. Make yourself at home.
(Sound of two pairs of footsteps and then listener sitting down on the sofa)
(Distant sound of kettle boiling and speaker humming)
(A few moments later the sound of footsteps and a couple of mugs being set on a table)
Theeeere we go. The green mug is yours.
It‘s not as nice as the stuff I make back at the shop. But I’m sure you can forgive me for the ‘egregious sin’ of not having an industrial coffee grinder.
Do you want to listen to some music?
[.]
(Sound of footsteps)
(Sound of radio switching various stations and loud static)
(Annoyed tone) Ah, it’s acting up again, stupid thing. Damnit.
(Sound of radio being turned off)
(Voice apologetic) Never mind. Sorry.
(Footsteps, followed by sound of speaker sitting down on sofa)
(Sound of listener picking up the mug and taking a swig)
Damn, already? That must be scalding!
[.]
Whatever you say. Weirdo. So, how have you been?
[.]
Yeah, I’ve been good, thanks. Working costumer service has been as much of a blessing as ever! (Short laugh)
[.] (Sound of listener taking a sip)
(Joking tone/banter) Oh, don’t you dare give me that ‘tHe CuStoMeR iS aLwiSe rIgHt’ crap! Do you have any idea how many lectures I get from my boss? All I do is reflect particularly rude customers’ energy back at them. With the way she goes on, you’d think I murdered babies for a living and drank their parents’ tears. Honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t fired me already. It would be a blessing by this point. But I’m pretty sure she can’t afford to.
Oh, yeah. That reminds me. Get this, right? I swear to God, just the other day, there was a lady who came in and demanded so many shots of espresso I was worried her heart was going to give out there and then. I asked if she was sure and she just looked me dead in the eye, eye bags plain as day, and said: ‘Straight caffeine powder isn’t legal anymore; so, this’ll have to do.’ Honestly, main character energy.
[.]
Exactly. It’s her world. We’re just living in it.
[.]
She’s come in a few times but I wouldn’t call her a regular. I think I saw her wearing a lanyard with the name of the local secondary school on it. So, I’m pretty sure she works there. ‘Can’t really blame her if that’s the case, can I? (A laugh).
[.] (Sound of listener taking a sip)
I’m mean, I probably should’ve refused to serve her. But I couldn’t bring myself to. She looked so dead inside and I’m not that cruel.
Besides, it’s not my responsibility if something happened, you know? It was her decision.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Especially if you get caught out being an idiot.
[.]
No, I don’t think anything happened. I didn’t hear anything, at least.
Admittedly, I haven’t seen her at the shop since. But I also haven’t seen any new job listings at said school. So, you never know… (A laugh).
Maybe I’m being haunted by her eternally-caffeinated spirit for my coffee-related crimes against humanity (speaker makes silly ‘OoOoOoOo’ sound).
(Sound of mug falling over and tea spilling)
Oh, fuck!
(Sound of both speaker and listener getting up)
(Voice sound exasperated) Fucking Hell!
(Voice gentler) Did any spill on you?
[.]
Good. You wait here. I’ll go grab some paper towels.
(Sound of speaker walking away and coming back a few moments later)
(Sound of speaker wiping up the spill)
[.]
Hey, don’t apologise. I was the one who knocked it over because I was being a dumbarse.
Maybe that was Espresso Lady’s revenge! Forever dooming me to spill hot drinks to protect future victims from my wrath.
(Sound of heart beat suddenly thundering in the listener’s ears)
Shit are you okay? You look faint.
[.]
I’ll go grab you some water, hold on.
(Sounds of hurried footsteps, as speaker walks away)
(Sound of hurried footsteps approaching a few moments later)
Bloody Hell, my life is turning into a fetch quest. Okay, maybe not the time for jokes.
Here.
[.]
(Sound of water being drunk from a plastic cup)(Continuous throughout section)
(Placating tone) Thaaaaaat’s it. Small sips. Don’t want you vomiting.
Thaaaaaat’s it. Don’t fight it. You’ll only give yourself a headache. Shshshshsh…
Thaaaaaaaaat’s it. You’re doing so well.
A little more to fully wash it down and… theeeere we go…
(Sound fades out)
***
(Sound fades back in and speaker is humming ‘Final Girl’ by Graveyardguy)(Ignore if not safe for copyright. Replace with general sounds of busywork)
Ah, back with me? Well, at the risk of sounding like a Skyrim NPC, you’re finally awake. You took your sweet time.
Too bad for you Espresso Lady spilled the wrong one, huh? … Nevermind, that was terrible anyway.
Don’t struggle, don’t struggle. Well, I mean, you can if you want. I doubt the circulation to your hands and feet would appreciate it though. Just take a second to get your bearings.
Also, don’t mind the gag. I’m just not in the mood for your screaming.
I know it must be torture, not being able to run your mouth for once in your life. But, honestly… seeing you like this is (tone slightly breathless) so cathartic. Look at you.
To be honest, I was worried that seeing you like this would make me chicken out. It’s one thing to fantasise about something; it’s another thing entirely to see it in front of you.
That wide-eyed expression. ‘Surprisingly cute and innocuous for a creature so vile. You should make it more often. And I’m more than willing to help.
(A laugh) It’s funny: before all this, the last thing I would’ve regarded myself as was a sadist. A strong believer in karma, yes, but not a sadist. But, then again, I’d never despised anyone so entirely before either. I’ve never wanted hurt someone so badly before. You really do bring out the worst in me.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Sooo, let’s address the elephant in the room: I know you’ve been stalking me. It’s why I brought you here, actually. I’ve been investigating you for a while.
I know! The resident private eye decided to do a background check. Shocker(!)
Turns out I can do a little more than just latte art, huh?
(Tone mocking) Awww, poor thing. How does it feel to be outplayed, for once?
Does it hurt? Does it scare you? Not knowing what was happening just under your nose? Thinking that you could trust someone, only to find out they had their own ulterior motives?
It scared me. More than you know. But I’m sure you’re going to become very familiar with that feeling. Very soon. Just like I did.
But I’m sure if you could talk, besides the screaming for help, you’d be asking a lot of questions. Like why I’m doing this? Or how I found you out?
I owe you nothing. I really don’t. But because I’m nice, I’ll tell you a little story. A truly ‘captivating’ tale. I know, I know, bad joke.
I have a lot I want to say. Self-indulgent, sure, but I think I more than deserve it, given all the shit I’ve been through. Consider this my ‘villain’ speech. Doomsday weapon not included.
It all started when I was realised I was being followed home. I won’t lie, I was embarrassingly slow on the uptake. Ironic, given my job but what can you do?
It had been late at night, having just closed up, and I was headed to the bus station. The streets were almost entirely deserted, aside from the occasional night owl or drunk. It was peaceful.
And then I saw a figure, with their hood drawn up, out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t think anything of it. Why would I? So, together we walked down to the bus stop, not saying a word, and got on a bus. So far, so normal.
When we got to my stop, I got off. And I noticed that that same person had gotten off with me. Again nothing really unusual. Except we were taking the exact same route. Both at the same even pace, except that the mystery figure followed from just further down the road. Just far down enough that, if I hadn’t seen them get off at the same stop, I honestly wouldn’t have thought anything of it. We matched each other perfectly, road for road, turn for turn.
I’ve always been mildly paranoid. Kinda need to be, for the type of work I do. So, as we got closer and closer to my neighbourhood, I started to get anxious. We’d been taking the same route for a good half hour and I still hadn’t seen their face.
So, I decided to test my hypothesis. I took a left. They took a left. I took another left. They took another left. I took yet another left. They look that same left. I went straight. They went straight. I took a right. They took a right. I took another right. They did too.
By that point I was certain, so I crossed as many random roads as I could, provided they were well lit, until I was satisfied that I’d lost my pursuer. And then I headed home.
I would’ve forgotten about it, written it off as just a random mugger. But I couldn’t. Not given the then-recent disappearance. Disappearances happen all the time. It’s a big city, with plenty of shady alleys and shadier people. The world isn’t going to stop turning just because one poor soul vanished off the face of it. But this one stood out. It was an old classmate of mine, I believe, back in college. The guy was an arsehole; nobody liked him. Least of all myself, given how he used to torment me. But, still, the effect was the same. It just… stuck with me.
I wasn’t exactly fond of the idea of travelling via public transport. But I didn’t have a choice. My car had failed its MOT spectacularly. So, I was in the middle of the long, painful process of finding another.
It set me on edge and I started to feel like I was being watched every time I headed home. Did you know there’s a word for that? The sensation of being watched. Scopaesthesia. For some reason, I’ve never thought that sounded right.
But regardless of whatever it’s called or should be called, it started to freak me out, the longer it went on. I kept seeing that same hooded figure, out the corner of my eye.
I stuck to the lit streets, even if it took me a good 15 minutes longer. None of my co-workers could walk me home, as they lived on the other side of town.
Maybe that’s why I noticed the pattern. Because I was already on-guard.
I enjoyed your company. I’d even argue that I looked forward to it. I started working at that café when I was strapped for cash and it was the only place that would take me. ‘Not exactly my first choice and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to get a second job, in the first place. But you made it bearable.
You were nice. Maybe a little overly flirty but nice. You were the type of person to chat at the counter, while I made your drink, and just ask how I was doing. Who I told which drinks to try and which tasted foul. Who I gave occasional discounts to, just for the sake of it.
You treated me like an actual person. Not dirt under your shoes or a convenience to be tolerated. (Voice sounding mildly hurt) Perhaps I would’ve even gone as far as to call us friends.
I kept seeing you outside of work, from time to time. At first I thought nothing of it. Given how frequently you visited the shop, it wasn’t hard to imagine that you lived or worked locally. But then I kept seeing you. And kept seeing you. And kept seeing you.
I saw the way you side-eyed me. The way you often had your phone angled at me, like you were taking a photo.
It didn’t take long to guess that I was being tailed. Given my line of work, it’s not rare for PIs to be followed by other PIs. Das ist the beauty of counter-surveillance. And it’s not like you were being very subtle. That’s what I thought at first. So, I did some digging.
It would take way too long to describe everything that I did. So, I’ll give you the cliff notes version.
During one of your visits, I said that there was an issue regarding your membership and that I’d need your details, including your full name and email. That’s how I got hold of your surname.
Using that, I looked on various public databases and found your address. And, sure enough, you lived maybe 5, 10 minutes away from my place of work.
Moreover, your license plate matched that of a car that had been parking outside my house for weeks.
Googling your name, I found your LinkedIn. No mention of any affiliation with any kind of PI agency, law firm or police department. Nothing that seemed to suggest any training either. You were in a completely different field. That set off immediate red flags.
If you weren’t a PI then why were you following me?
At that point, I tried to report my findings to the police. Multiple times. Even if you lacked a criminal record, beyond a couple of speeding tickets, it was obvious I was being stalked. But everything that I had gathered was circumstantial. Even the photographic evidence of you following me was apparently questionable, as it could’ve been just a bad case of wrong place, wrong time. So they did nothing.
They just… brushed me off.
(Sarcasm) Which was extremely helpful.
Can you imagine that for a moment? Assuming you’re even capable of empathy. The very people who had hired you in the past, who understood your capabilities and trusted you because of them, suddenly dismissing you? Despite how many times they’d relied on you gathering evidence? …Despite how much time you’d spent with them?
If I’m being honest, it stung. But fine.
If they weren’t going to do anything because of a lack of poof, then I would find proof.
So I kept digging.
I looked at your social media and searched for who was most frequently tagged or mentioned. From there, I approached those that I could and struck up casual conversation. Most of it was superficial fluff. Nothing of substance, even when I mentioned being a loose friend of yours. After the sixth attempt that had gone absolutely fucking nowhere, I was tempted to call it a dead end. But I decided to head down to the local pub and try again anyway.
Jackpot.
Admittedly, it was probably because he already had a few drinks in him, but your friend Jake was most forthcoming. Very friendly bloke. When I mentioned you, he was more than happy to talk about your relationship. Ranging from what the pair of you did at work. To the fact you didn’t like inviting others over. To your little ‘thing’ for a quote unquote ‘cute local barista’.
As you can imagine, that latter part peaked my interest.
Apparently, you’d been meaning to ask for their number, for who knows how long. That’s what you told him, at least.
So, you were so very lucky when that same barista offered you a wink and their number a few days later! The look on your little face… honestly, precious…
(Tone sour) It was a little less ‘precious’ when I started to notice my possessions going ‘missing’.
It was mostly small things, at first. Things that, if I hadn’t been looking for them, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.
But as the months went by and we talked more and more, you got bolder.
It was becoming increasingly impossible to ignore and I knew if I didn’t say anything it would start to look suspicious. Who wouldn’t start getting pissed off and ranting at not being able to find whatever they were looking for? Especially to their friends?
So, I complained to you about it. Ranting on and on about how I’d put something down and it’d ‘magically disappear’. It’s not like I wasn’t frustrated. And every time I mentioned it, all you did was laugh and say that I was ‘scatter-brained’ and ‘it would probably turn up eventually’.
You were toying with me. I could see it in the way you looked at me, that glimmer of possessiveness in your eye. I could feel it in the way you stalked me, like a predator circling prey, drawing ever closer but not willing to end the chase just yet. I wasn’t a person to you. I was a prize, a thing to be won.
Hell, at one point, you even had the audacity to mention that one of your hobbies was lock-picking.
You were so sure you were pulling one over on me. (Voice full of vitriol) It was disgusting.
(A pause for a few seconds)
I got a home alarm soon after that little chat. I’d been meaning to for months. But you mentioning that particular little detail made it apparent that I couldn’t put it off any longer. It was only a small thing. ‘All I could afford at the time. (Voice sounding defeated) It never worked.
Hell, I don’t think it even worked as a deterrent.
(Half-muttered to self) Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure my radio started acting on the fritz around the same time. ‘Thought that was probably only coincidence. I can’t blame you for everything that’s gone wrong in my life. Only most of it.
Knowing that started making me even more paranoid. Sometimes, I’d swear that I saw movement in the corner of my eye. Or heard footsteps down the hall. I would look around but never found anything. I wasn’t sleeping well, as you can imagine, so my first impulse was to blame that. Surely you wouldn’t be so brazen or stupid as to break in when you knew I would be home… would you?
That didn’t stop me from keeping 999 on speed dial though.
Sometimes, I’d even call you, just to keep account of where you were or what you were doing. Sometimes you picked up. Sometimes you didn’t. The times you didn’t scared me.
You loved it. I could hear the smug smile in your voice whenever I called you. Knowing that you got off to it, that you though I was weak and just that desperate for your company… It was humiliating.
If I couldn’t get through to you, I called my friends. I always made sure that I had at least one person on the line, at any point that I felt eyes burning into the back of my head. So that if anything ever happened to me, someone would know.
Even as some of them grew increasingly distant or stopped responding all together, I kept calling. If my old friends refused to pick up, I made new ones at work or online. Co-workers, patrons. Anyone that was practically chatty, really. It wasn’t the best solution and I’m pretty sure that my calls at three in the morning weren’t best appreciated but it was the best I could do.
I’ve always been good at saying what people want to hear.
As time went on, things started to slow until they just kinda… plateaued. I couldn’t find anything else. Sure you had a life online but nothing that I could use to incriminate you. Using open-source intelligence was proving painfully fruitless. Brute-forcing your credentials wasn’t working. At least you weren’t enough of a ‘lovesick’ fool to use my name as a password.
I even managed to find out your Wi-Fi password. Only for my moment of triumph to be crushed by finding out you used a VPN on all your devices. There was nothing Wireshark could do about that. I considered slamming my head into a wall, after that little discovery.
But beyond that, the constant dread became almost routine. When I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend it was like before. That I was just laughing and joking with my friend, rather than teasing a bear trap, hoping to God that it wouldn’t spring on me.
(Deep breath)
Of course, after I’d been talking, hanging out in public and following you for a while, I had a pretty good idea of your general schedule.
So, I decided to pay your home a visit while you were out.
Now, normally, I wouldn’t do anything so blatantly illegal. It’s a major risk to my credibility. But I was getting desperate… and off the clock, sooo…
(Sigh)
(More serious tone) Despite everything, I wanted to be proven wrong, you know. That I was just being paranoid. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe you were just someone with a crush, who was visiting a friend or family member in my neighbourhood. Even though I knew none of them lived nearby.
Maybe I really was just an idiot losing their shit and you just had poor timing and some unfortunate hobbies.
Maybe you were just socially awkward and I was seeing things that weren’t there.
I got inside and the first thing that struck me was the smell. The place reeked of rot and cleaner, sharp and acrid, making my stomach churn.
I crept through the darkness, despite myself. I knew you weren’t home. I had watched you leave and had meticulously checked your schedule for hours beforehand. I know I should’ve turned on my torch sooner. But I couldn’t help it. It felt wrong, even when I was trampling paper underfoot. I strayed deeper and deeper into the darkness, until I found what I assumed would be your bedroom, if the single lit window at night was anything to go by.
Finally, I turned on my torch and…
(Horrified tone) The walls were covered in hundreds, upon hundreds of pictures of me. Some at my places of work, some while I was asleep, some from inside my own home.
I barely suppressed a wave of bile and a horse cry died in my suddenly-too-dry throat, giving way to a low moan of terror.
All I could do was stare, unable to tear my eyes away. Scanning over row after row after row of photographs.
(Incredulous laugh) I still don’t know how you took some of them. I pretty much always keep my curtains and blinds shut.
All those private little moments. Rereading an old favourite. Singing along to a shitty pop song on Heart with a little too much enthusiasm. Just taking a nice hot shower for a little longer than strictly necessary. Violated.
There was even a fucking shrine.
You had stolen so much. Including stuff that I hadn’t even noticed, despite actively being on-guard. Clothes, the contents of my bins, post that had never arrived… (Tone of revulsion) underwear… And that’s just stuff off the top of my head.
There were pieces of paper and notebooks everywhere. Some were filled with nothing but my name, over and over and over again. Others were filled with declarations of ‘love’. And some were filled with fantasies about what you’d do to me. Many of which were… violent.
I rifled through your drawers and found everything, ranging from ropes to what looked like possible roofies to copies of my work diary
I kept looking around. I couldn’t stop myself.
I thought this had been going on for a few months, outside. But I was wrong. This had been going on for years. I’d been watched for years and had never realised.
Eventually it reached a point that there were so many pictures and pages and papers that they almost became mundane. Almost.
I don’t know how long I wandered there. Minutes? Hours? It was like time itself understood the horror of what I’d found and stood still in shock. For such a moderately-sized home, the corridors were strangely endless. Like they wanted to entomb me. That’s obviously what their owner wanted.
Finally, on the ground floor, I saw the door to your cellar. It was white. Simple. Non-descript. And, yet, it felt… off. It was weirdly compelling. Like I needed to go down there. Like I needed to know what was down there.
The closer I drew, the more magnetic it became, emanating this strange ‘aura’, for lack of a better term.
Of course, I realised how stupid it was. Everyone knows that the idiot who wanders down into the murder basement in a horror movie doesn’t make it out alive.
But you were gone and I was already snooping, so what was a little more?
It was locked but only with a simple padlock. Nothing too difficult.
I picked it with little resistance and started to walk down the stairs. They were unlit. And kept going down and down and down, deeper and deeper. It felt far too deep for a normal basement. Like the earth itself was trying to swallow me whole.
When I reached the bottom, it was pitch-black, with only the torchlight to illuminate my surroundings, barely piercing the darkness.
The air was thick with dust and bleach. So much bleach it made my eyes water and my head spin.
Eventually, I managed to find the light switch. I pawed at it and a single, naked bulb spluttered into life, momentarily blinding me. When my sight finally cleared, I peered around the room now cast in a sickly-yellow hue.
It was… small. No, not small. Small is the wrong word. Cramped. Suffocating. The walls felt close and oppressive. The wall closest to me was covered in shelving, littered with various boxes, tools and general DIY stuff, like paints and solvents.
But that wasn’t what drew my eye.
No, what filled me with abject horror was on the other side of the room.
It was a cell, made up of floor to ceiling bars. Each black pillar easily as thick as my forearm. With just enough room to fit an arm through but nothing more. The door was open.
In front of it was an old, wooden table. It was worn but clearly still sturdy, with various objects scattered across it.
I drew closer. I wish I hadn’t.
On the table was a box and a few small black things. At first I thought they were wing nuts. But as I got closer and my eyes adjusted to the low light, I realised they were part of larger mechanisms. I picked up one of the strange objects to get a better look and something black flaked off in my hand. It was too course and gritty to be paint.
It took me a few moments to recognise it but as soon as I did I felt my stomach drop.
It was a thumbscrew. A fucking thumbscrew that had been used.
I put it back on the table and immediately tried to rub off the sensation of brittle rust. I rubbed and rubbed until my skin felt raw, a dull sting drowning it out.
I turned my attention back to the table. The box sat there, innocently.
I had to open it. I knew I did. I was in too deep now.
So, I watched, numb, as my hands reached towards it. As they unhooked the simple latch, the only thing keeping it closed. As they took out piece after piece of paper.
It felt like my mind was underwater and, for a moment, the only coherent thought that filtered through was that the paper felt weirdly tacky against my glove. Like photo paper.
I looked and, sure enough, that’s what they were. Each picture perfectly glossy without a single finger print in sight. Each A5 piece depicted a close up of single person looking straight at the camera, expression blank.
Something about them struck me as odd and, as I peered closer, I realised their hair was wrong. Instead of fully falling down, like hair normally does, it instead seemed to slightly splay out to the sides. Like the people being photographed were lying down at the time.
I looked closer and felt my blood turn to ice.
These weren’t normal pictures or selfies.
No, these were different.
The subjects’ eyes were cold and glassy. Unseeing.
They were the eyes of corpses.
The photos were… trophies. Each commemorating a different person.
And I realised I recognised some of them. Each having harassed me at some point in my life. At school, at my work… I wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ growing up. I attracted bullies like moths to flame. And you knew it.
I don’t know how long I stared at them before having the common-sense to flip one over.
There was writing on the back, something in red pen. It was completely illegible.
I flipped over another. The same. I flipped over a couple more until I found one that had something actually readable on the back: ‘They’re mine to ruin’.
I didn’t understand at the time, still don’t, but if I had to hazard a guess as to why, I’d say that this wasn’t some attempt to protect me or my honour. This wasn’t you ‘eliminating any possible competition’. It was because you were jealous. You were jealous that they got to hurt me first, instead of you. You wanted and still want to ‘ruin’ me. To tear me down, bit by bit.
I counted 8 total. Only 5 were official missing persons’ cases.
Once my hands stopped shaking, I put the photos back in the box and redirected my attention to the cell, the door still open, as if beckoning me. The shadows were thicker inside.
I turned on my torch and entered. The stench of bleach and ammonia was almost unbearable. And for a moment, I was inexplicably convinced that the door would swing shut, trapping me inside. It didn’t.
Instead, I was stuck by how cold it was and, looking up, I could see a small vent directly above me. I was so distracted that I didn’t look where I was going until – clunk.
My foot hit something thick and heavy, like metal.
I looked down and saw a long cast iron chain, snaking across the floor. What the fuck?
I followed it, torchlight tracing it back to its source at the wall. It connected just shy of head height, doing nothing but leading me to further puzzlement.
I traced it back to the other end.
And then I saw it. At the other end was a large hoop of wrought black metal, with a piece that seemed to swing on a hinge. I couldn’t be…
I picked it up. I had to be sure.
I examined it closer. It was.
It was a fucking collar.
I ran. I barely remembered to turn off the light and lock the door behind me, before I was running out of that house like a bat out of Hell.
I ran all the way home, buses or taxis be damned.
I won’t lie, the first thing I did when I got home was have a panic attack. I didn’t fully calm down for another two and a half hours.
I know because every tick of my watch grated against my ears, causing fresh waves of hysteria to wash over me. Eventually, I ended up lobbing the damn thing across the room. It didn’t break. It was damaged, sure, but it still worked. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to cope if it had.
I didn’t sleep that night.
The next day, I called in to give an anonymous tip that you were potentially in possession of narcotics. It’s not like I could say: ‘Hey! I broke into this creep’s home and the walls were plastered with pictures of my face! I wasn’t trying to steal anything! Promise!’
I just had been so… dumbstruck… that I had forgotten to record, to take photos, to steal proof. To do anything. I’d found a goldmine of evidence. And yet, I’d squandered it completely.
I beat myself up for weeks, afterwards.
I couldn’t bring myself to go back though… not for a good few months.
You were never charged. To be honest, I don’t think they even searched your house. And I’m sure that had nothing to do with your finances. Or the fact that one of your close friends from university was on the local police force.
It didn’t matter anyway.
When I eventually did manage to force myself to go back, I took hundreds of photos, hours of video footage, documenting everything and sent them to the police via an anonymous email account.
Nothing.
I kept my ear to the ground for weeks and there was nothing. Just… dead silence. It was like I had never bothered in the first place.
I would say more on the matter but there’s really nothing else to say.
I sent more emails, all including detailed accounts of my experiences, photos, videos, everything that could be used to detain you. And nothing.
Not even a scolding for breaking and entering.
I didn’t know how you did it. Didn’t care, frankly. But I knew that it was your fault.
With every email, with nothing to show for it, I felt myself losing more and more hope.
Eventually, I just… stopped sending them. I felt entirely hopeless and alone. No-one was coming to save me. I wanted to give up.
You hadn’t hurt me. Maybe you wouldn’t. That’s what I tried to tell myself, at least. I knew I was lying. That cell was more than enough proof.
(Thoughtful tone) But then I had a thought… If no-one was coming to help then I was going to have to resolve things myself. My own way.
(Determined tone) And I’d make you pay when I did.
(A pause)
I don’t think I’d ever felt rage like that, before that day. Such visceral hatred. It felt so strange and horrible and weirdly violating. I felt dirty. And I hated it. But it wouldn’t stop. No amount of guilt would drown it out.
And I started to wonder what it would feel like to wrap my hands around your neck… and just squeeze.
(A pause)
Something changed in me that day. Permanently.
(Deep inhale and exhale)
So, I started to plan. I went back to that wretched house and took everything I needed. Called in a few favours with a couple old friends. Pulled more shifts at the café. Covered more cases. Cheating spouses, mostly. Not exactly the most riveting stuff. There are only so many telenovelas you can watch before they all blend together. But the important thing is that I saved like Hell. And I watched. And I waited. And I listened.
Drawing you in, closer and closer. But not like before. That was like trying to lure a stray mutt into a kennel. This was like luring a wolf into a slaughterhouse.
And after months of preparation and casual hangouts, I finally decided to bite the bullet and invite you over.
And here we are. With you right where I want you.
It wasn’t fun using myself as live bait. But, hey! You can’t deny it worked.
Besides, it’s not like you were thinking any differently. You thought this was your chance, didn’t you? You though ‘Finally, I’m alone with them. Nothing can go wrong.’
I knew full well what you were planning on doing to me. Do you really think I spilled my tea by accident? That I would be stupid enough to invite you into my home, without some kind of plan?
No.
We both had the same idea. After all, great minds think alike. But this is a monster eat monster world. And I was the hungrier monster.
Because this isn’t what good people do or even just what normal people do. This is what monsters do. You made me a monster.
(Introspective tone) … And I’m not as repulsed by that idea as I should be.
After all, it takes a monster to hurt a monster.
I wouldn’t say I’m worse, though. You know, considering (whispered in listener’s ear) I’m not a sick fuck like you.
I’m pretty sure anything I’ve done pales in comparison to the shit you’ve pulled.
Had things gone your way, you had some real twisted shit in store for me. The kind of shit that, once you know, you can’t unknow.
… I can’t even bring myself to say half of it.
And that’s exactly why I’m keeping you here. I follow the personal philosophy of: an eye for an eye. You fuck over me, I fuck over you. I think that’s fair.
Karma’s a bitch, huh?
(To be continued in Part 2 because Reddit was being a bitch)

I purchased a new 2023 MXLR about a month ago after driving a MYP for a little over a year and really enjoying it. I wanted to share my thoughts now after having some time with both cars incase anyone else is trying to decide if the switch is right for them.
Things I really was excited about with the X: 1) The automatic door features. Both the falcon door functionality and the automatic driver side door opening/closing hands-free. 2) Comfortably seating 6 adults 3) Smoother suspension 4) Quieter Cabin 5) Extra screen in front of the wheel/yoke 6) Cooled seats 7) I like the look of the X better than the Y both for interioexterior
I'll go through each item and share how it stacked up with my expectations, and then I'll mention a few other things I didn't know about/think about prior to purchase.
1) The automatic door features. I was probably unreasonably excited for this one and I don't know why. But it is also one of my biggest gripes with the X.
When you're in a garage or inside, the falcon doors automatically open halfway. So if a passenger or the driver presses the open button, they will open enough for my kids to get out and have to duck, or for adults to have to awkwardly kind of shimmy out. The only way to get them to open all the way is for a passenger to press the button again to open the doors, which will make them finish opening all the way.
The drivepassenger door also frequently just cracks open for me and won't actually swing open to let me get in hands free. Instead, the door will crack and I have to kind of force it open manually, which ends up being less nice than just opening a normal door that doesn't fight you. Because if you haven't messed with the doors on an X, the drivepassenger door have a kind of resistance to being closed/opened manually. But if it just cracks open and you press the button on the door, it'll close first and make you have to press the button again to open it. About 50% of the time I walk up to the car in a parking lot, sometimes even when nobody is parked near me, the door just cracks open as well and won't swing open for me to get in.
I was also really excited about the falcon doors in general, and I think they do deliver on some of what I was excited about, but also come with some downsides as well. The biggest is probably just for me. I find myself feeling embarrassed getting in/out of the car when I have to open the falcon doors for my kids or passengers. I figured I'd get used to it, and maybe spending longer with the car would help, but so far I haven't. It just draws a lot of attention and that doesn't really fit my personality.
It's also a little awkward trying to make sure nobody is lingering near the car before closing the doors. They do sense with cameras, but if someone is standing in certain blind spots, the doors will only close if they make contact and feel resistance of hitting someone. It's not going to send anyone to the hospital, but getting whacked in the head or shoulder by the door just adds to my feeling of everything being a little awkward.
Overall, the door thing has stood out as probably my biggest disappointment with the car. With all that being said, if the car was 70k or 80k, I don't think I would let the issue convince me to sell it. But it's the premium price tag combined with this and a few other nagging issues that are pushing me to my decision. 2) Comfortably seating 6 adults. This one is a big win. The car feels very very spacious, especially considering when you look at it from the outside, it doesn't look bigger than a model Y. The feeling in the driver seat is even nicer with the way the window extends out of your view and doesn't have the cross bar that the Y and 3 have before the sunroof. It's just big, spacious, and feels very luxurious inside. My FIL who is 6'3 climbed in the back yesterday and was comfortable sitting for a relatively long car ride. Though I'll say if you have the 7 seat configuration, there would be some leg room problems. With the 6 seat/captain chair setup, people can stick one leg down the middle aisle, which significantly adds to the feeling of having enough space back there. Headroom was no problem for him, either.
It was a little hard for older people with some mobility issues to get into the very back seats, but that's likely going to be true of any 6 seater car and I don't consider it a knock on the X. 3) Smoother suspension. Another big win. The X feels significantly smoother than my Y. In combination with the reduced cabin noise, you really feel like you're in a luxury car with the way this one drives. 4) Quieter Cabin. The cabin is noticeably quieter than my Y. Of course, if you've driven in a Y, you know that's not exactly saying much, haha. But I'd mostly been driving my Y for a while now so the difference was really pleasant once I started using the X. It's very quiet and the sound system is great. 5) Extra screen in front of the wheel/yoke. I think this one is 50/50 for me. I thought it would feel like a huge quality of life improvement to have my speed right in front of me like in a normal car. I also was looking forward to the extra functionality of having more main screen space since some info could be on the mini screen.
I've become more used to splitting my attention between both, but I think I still prefer having one screen for everything like in the Y. Both screens just make things a little redundant in some cases, like how there's a mini navigation preview on the yoke screen as well as a bigger version on the main screen. I also don't know that I prefer the 3d visualization being so small on the yoke screen instead of the main screen, because I like to glance at it after checking my mirrors/cameras when switching lanes. Being smaller on the yoke screen, I feel like it's just a touch harder to interpret at a glance the way I prefer, and I've found myself only using mirrors and then the camera when changing lanes. 6) Cooled seats. These work fantastically. You can feel them kick in a second or two after activating the feature and they really move a lot of cool air through the perforated seats. 7) I like the look of the X better than the Y both for interioexterior. I still like how the X looks, haha. The interior is really nice and feels a bit more upscaled than the Y. The only minor gripe I have with the interior of the X is that the center console part I usually rest my right elbow on is a little less plush and soft than the one in my Y. Also with how much wider the X is, it's more of a chicken wing kind of pose to rest my elbows on things because the door and center console are farther away. That wasn't a big deal to me, though.
Things I didn't think about: The seats feel more comfortable to me in the X. I didn't expect to really have much of a preference, but the seats in my Y are slightly more stiff. The material seems like it will be easier to clean in my X, too, but I could be wrong. My Y's seats already have a little light wrinkling in the leather after a little over a year, even being a garage car. I don't picture the perforated leather wrinkling as easily.
The yoke steering was a tiny adjustment, but not too bad. It took me maybe two drives to not think about it. It also seems better at recognizing my hand is on the wheel, so auto driving doesn't chirp and remind me to put pressure on the wheel as much as the Y.
The rear screen is cool for my kids, but I was too scared to let my dogs in the car because it's right near the top of the center console they would use to climb from the back to the front. I can't imagine having dogs in the car for very long before that would wind up getting scratched. But that may just be my dogs who are always traveling back and forth when they're in the car.
The automatic driver door tries to open for me any time I walk in the garage. Going to put out the trash cans? My X door pops open and music starts blaring (if I was on the phone with my wife and turned up the volume when I parked, it keeps that volume and uses it for spotify). I do back in right in front of our garage door, so if you don't park directly in front of where you go in and out of the garage, this one probably wouldn't annoy you.
It's a little harder to drive and park. This one is probably obvious to most people, but I just didn't think about it before buying. The X is noticeably longer and wider than the Y. It's less forgiving when parking if you get too close to one side of the lines because you will eat up much more of the parking space. It's also longer and wider, so you'll feel the difference driving around. To me, it makes my Y feel more nimble and easy to drive in some ways or less stressful to drive. It actually feels a bit like a van, in terms of the size and shape of the X. Like a really, really expensive van lol.
Last gripe is a long story that I don't want to go into all the details of, but basically I had some (to me) severe panel gap and alignment issues at pickup. I was told to put in a ticket and they'd fix it at my local SC. My local SC essentially said the acceptable tolerances on an X are greater than what most people would like because the falcon doors are so complex and didn't fix any of the issues I was told they'd fix. I've also had three errors pop up that needed service already in a month. I had a camera go out on the right, a tire pressure monitoring fault, and some captain chair seats no longer adjusting like they should from the buttons. Those issues were another relatively big part of my decision to sell, because they undermined my sense of the quality of the car and the value.
Final thoughts and why I'm selling it
Ultimately, I wasn't buying this car with pure "screw it" money. 120k is a lot of money to me, but affordable if it is something I really want and think I'll enjoy every day. So the biggest consideration for me is that it's right at that level of cost where I've found myself constantly asking if it's worth it. If I had more money on hand and didn't feel remotely taxed by the decision financially, I'm sure I'd stick with the car and ignore my complaints.
But because I'm at the point where I want to feel like I fully got 120k worth of car and features for my money, I've ended up feeling like I didn't. It's a really awesome, cool car. But is it a 120k car? Not for me. I think if this car was something like 70-85k, I would feel like I got my money's worth.
I think my advice to someone trying to make the same decision as me would be to decide if the amount of money it costs is comfortable for you. If you feel like the cost is no problem, then I think you'll be happy with the car. If you're hoping it's going to be so amazing that it justifies the expense, but you sort of *need* it to feel justified, then I would maybe consider just sticking with a model y or a model 3.
Bonus note: if you are going to pick up an X from the dealer and see any panel gap/alignment issues you aren't happy with before taking delivery, make them fix it before you pay. If that's not feasible, get someone to provide a written document stating they'll fix it somehow. I was told by two different people they'd fix everything I took pictures of at pick up and that didn't seem to matter for anything when I showed up at my SC. Just something to keep in mind.

You’ve come to the correct spot if you’re seeking for the top things to do in Aqaba. More and more tourists are entering Jordan via Aqaba to begin (or base) their stays in the nation because of the continuously expanding low-cost flights to the Red Sea port city of Aqaba in Jordan. Due to its year-round mild temperature, proximity to Petra and Wadi Rum, Jordan’s desert, the undersea marine life nearby, and the beach resort alternatives, Aqaba is the ideal starting point for a journey to Jordan. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
Sunset Cruise on the Red Sea
See Luxor’s natural environment on an incredible outdoor adventure. On a sailing boat, unwind while observing the birds. take in the beautiful sunset over the highlands of Jordan, Eilat, and Taba. Treat yourself to a sunset sail or experience the joys of an outdoor barbecue. If you choose the sunset tour, be sure to bring your camera since your friends back home won’t believe how beautiful Aqaba is at the end of the day. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
The Red Sea truly lives up to its name at dusk. Being on vacation is all about experiences like this private adults-only boat cruise, which begins with little snorkeling, picks up steam with a BBQ supper, and then reaches a crescendo as the sun slowly sets beyond the horizon. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
PARASAILING ADVENTURE
Go parasailing, a thrilling experience, while admiring the Red Sea’s expansive beauty with family and friends. As you gaze up at the sky and wonder what it would be like to fly, Travel to Aqba will be prepared to give you the sensation by towing you as you parachute through the Gulf of Aqaba. also enables you to fly with a friend to increase the excitement and pleasure. You’ll have the sensation of having wings from Aqaba.
DIVING IN AQABA
For serious divers, the Red Sea is one of the greatest diving locations on earth. If you enjoy diving, make sure you allow enough time at Aqaba for some snorkeling. There are several diving locations. Some are reachable by land, while others require a boat. Every day, boats travel out to the reefs. The lunch is usually served on the boat in between dives, and they usually depart before noon. In Aqaba, there are also beginner-level lessons and certification courses.
WALKING THE CITY
Many residents and guests go for nighttime walks because of the chilly evenings and year-round warmth. Walking the city is a popular pastime in Aqaba, particularly in the evenings, whether it is through the retail district, perusing the restaurants, or simply spending time outside. a place with a long history that goes back to before the period of the Bible. Aqaba, which was governed by the Romans, Mamluks, and Ottomans, was a significant commercial port in the area. A trip to Aqaba is among the greatest things to do in Jordan because of its fascinating history, culture, and beachfront resorts.
Are you hoping to witness Jordan’s Aqaba’s unmatched beauty? Everyone will find something to enjoy in Aqaba, from ancient ruins to Red Sea snorkeling! https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
Aqaba has a lot to offer its guests, whether they are adrenaline junkies or just wanting to unwind and appreciate nature. Continue reading for information on anything from water sports and beach activities to historical landmarks and cultural locations. Prepare yourself for adventure as you all discover what stunning Aqaba has to offer! https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
HISTORY
The City of Aqaba creates a golden triangle for visitors in the Kingdom of Jordan together with Wadi Rum and Petra. Tourists like the Red Sea’s world-class diving and snorkeling because of the relatively inexpensive cost. In addition, Aqaba has a very extensive past. Since the first colony there, which goes back to 4,000 BC, people have lived there. Aqaba is now the sole port in Jordan, making it an essential element of the Kingdom.
Aqaba was transformed into a low-tax, duty-free city in order to draw more investment and tourism, which surprised Western tourists.
ABOUT SARAYA AQABA WATERPARK:
The Saraya Aqaba Waterpark, the first of its type in Aqaba and the biggest in the Kingdom, is situated in the center of Aqaba, the only seaside city in Jordan. It has over 25 rides, slides, and experiences in addition to family-friendly restaurants. The top-notch waterpark offers family-friendly activities unlike any other. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
The Saraya Aqaba Waterpark offers exclusive visitor experiences that are sure to be the pinnacle of aquatic adventures. The Jordanian-themed park, which covers an area of more than 28,500 square meters, offers thrilling rides and attractions that are named after some of the most famous sites in the country, like Jerash, Wadi Rum, and many more. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
DIVING IN THE RED SEA
Do you intend to go scuba diving in the Red Sea during your upcoming vacation?
If you’re interested in diving, Aqaba is unlike any other place. Picture yourself swimming in warm seas off a beach locale while being surrounded by fish and coral of vibrant colors. The shipwreck, the submerged tank, and the Japanese gardens are just a few of the well-known diving locations. The wealth of marine life may be explored while submerged in weightlessness when you and your family or friends don your diving gear.
One of the outstanding benefits of Aqaba is the clean seas, which are a result of the lack of stormy weather and the gentle water currents.
Corals may thrive in warm seas that are favourable to their growth, and a variety of marine species can flourish in waters with a good salinity balance. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
Whatever brought you to Jordan, we are sure that diving in the Red Sea will be among your most treasured memories. Also, if you have a dive camera, you will benefit from having some incredible pictures to share with your friends back home. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
WATER SPORTS
Be enthusiastic! Let your hair unstyled! Fly and have fun at the Red Sea with Aqaba Adventure Divers Water Sports and Fun Activities!
The rough trip on a banana or a four-seat sofa being dragged by a speedboat will be loved by thrill enthusiasts! Twirling and spinning quickly on an inflatable twister couch! This is a test for you and your buddies right now! Do boys use jet skis as toys? Jet skis are undoubtedly toys for boys, even in Aqaba! Parasailing will allow you to see Aqaba from a fantastic vantage point in the air! Please inform your captain about your desired altitude! Impress your relatives and friends by putting your waterskiing abilities to the test while producing waves! The real fun is there!
BANANA BOAT RIDE
Try to avoid falling in as you enjoy an exciting, rough journey around the bay. A hot summer day is perfect for banana boat trips. You may hire a banana boat and experience the thrilling speed while having the wind in your hair and the warm Red Sea waves rushing past beneath you.
A safe and enjoyable water activity for your family, kids, and friends are banana boat excursions. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
DOUBLE INNER TUBE
If you dare, have some fun this summer with your loved ones! Not for the faint of heart, the doughnuts. Each wave on this choppy double ride challenges you to hold on while it attempts to wash you away! https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
FLY BOARD
Future is now! With this hydro flight gear, enjoy a fantastic water flying experience that enables you to stand above the water and pull off some great stunts! You can climb out of the water with this unusual contraption and support yourself on almost nothing while you’re in midair.
The most recent extreme activity is flyboarding at Aqaba Watersports. Check out this novel idea for an expedition, and don’t forget to take pictures of this fun activity!
JET SKIING
Take off around the bay of Aqaba on a jet ski while being at the top of your game. While enjoying the sunlight, a Jet Ski journey is pure excitement. Speed addicts will enjoy this pastime because the dramatic impacts of the wind and waves.
KAYAKING
Kayaking is a developing activity that has sparked the interest of Aqaba’s thrill-seekers because to year-round access to reasonably calm waters. You may get in shape in Aqaba in a social and enjoyable way by kayaking.
Paddle leisurely along the Red Sea while admiring the breathtaking scenery. Enjoy a leisurely morning session or an afternoon excursion to take in the spectacular sunset from the water.
If you’ve never tried this activity before, you may go with a trained instructor who will lead the way and make sure you can safely take in the scenery.
KITE SURFING
Enough of the safe distance observing! It’s time to take up the sport of kite surfing, which involves using a board and a kite to navigate across the sea. By using a huge parachute-style kite, kitesurfing uses the wind’s energy to drive a rider over the sea on a miniature surfboard or a kiteboard.
TAKE A GLASS BOTTOM BOAT RIDE
When you relax on deck, you can see into the depths! Take in the coral reefs and other fish species from above in a glass-bottom boat to get a completely new viewpoint. Without getting wet, you can experience what the local scuba divers have been raving about. Parrot fish, rainbow fish, stone fish, chicken fish, and occasionally even clown fish can be seen, depending on your luck. Local fish sought for by fisherman like the Denis may also be seen. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/
YOUR NAME IN SAND
The sands of time are beautifully poured into tiny bottles in Aqaba to create desert sceneries. The artisans will be pleased to accommodate you, providing you with a keepsake that is really one-of-a-kind. Watch the terms of colors or wish to see your name, or that of family or friends, inscribed in sand. https://jordan-travel.com/adventures-in-aqaba/

Najia made a snap decision. She'd already been made by Mellerd, there was no need to pretend she was a low-key criminal looking for a little action.
She leaned forward, resting her hands on Kriss Mellerd's desk, meeting her gaze. "You know who I am. What I don't know, is who you know. I'm getting fucking stonewalled by Ministry-Company interplay," she said. "I can't develop real contacts. I can't develop real contracts. My ships are moving three quarters of the goods in Grand Exchange and half through Eighteen B. I'm tired of being treated like some random schmuck who just floated in with a Frog to haul credit-ante freight. You have connections. I want you to make those connections for me."
Kris sat back, blinking, then laughing, smirking at her. "You're looking for long-term income, mmmh, rather than a quick buck? Well, I'm not in a position to offer you any... Negotiated contracts myself, however, however... Let me talk to a... Third party who might be interested in you. I'll try to arrange something; but don't get your hopes up."
Najia would actually be in even more trouble if Kriss did arrange something, she knew, but she was putting Kriss on the spot. Mellerd stood up, and turned around, plucking a datapad from her pocket and holding it up to her ear. Perfectly, she was looking down and away, and Najia took one soft step to her side, plugging a tiny hack-box into the console at the side of the station manager's office.
"Yes, hi, I need to call in a favor," Kriss said, distractedly. I have a shady character with deep pockets and large resources looking for... You know, alternative contracts. Eager to get into the deep end of the pool, maybe, but not much of a profile yet. New money... Mmhmm, sure, I'll wait." Najia smirked, glad to see that Kriss was getting the runaround. The woman, despite being attractive and stylish and well-spoken, somehow annoyed her. She couldn't put her finger on why, exactly. Kriss' time on hold seemed to drag on, and Najia started to worry it might drag on too long. Then, she spoke up. "All done? Wonderful. Mmmhmm. I'll call you later about that other case." The station manager sat back down, turning around with the comm still to her ear. "Brilliant. Bye."
She put the comm down, but Najia saw the screen of it. It was on its basic lock screen, and Najia barely avoided baring her teeth; Mellerd had pretended to make a call. If the approach had been sincere, she'd have been furious, but even though this fit Najia's plans perfectly, it still pissed her off that Kriss had quite literally simply pretended to place a call rather than to just be straight and say she had nothing for her. "I'm sorry, there's no interest in the market," Mellerd told her, and Najia kept a straight face, as she continued, "the groups work on a trust basis, and prefer to work with people they have a history with, or select for themselves. The fact that you're actively looking to develop contacts raises some red flags. Let's get you a proper reward for a job well done, and have you on your way," she added, smiling sweetly. "I expect you'll find your way out."
Najia snorted, not having to hide the disgust in her expression. Uninterested in whatever petty payment Mellerd planned to remit for abducting her passenger, she turned on her heel and strode out, having no difficulty projecting the air of someone fuming. After all, she was fuming, just not for that reason. She strode quickly to the lift, taking it back to the landing pad, joining Marta and company, and looking around. There were supposed to be fireworks, weren't there? This was when the Arcadian Endeavour and Ace were supposed to show up and start raising a row so she could get into the hangar with the Raven, right?
Silence. A total lack of blaring alarms (which Marta's hacking would have accounted for), and a total lack of incoming weapons fire. Awkwardly, Najia hissed, shaking her head; she nodded to the ship, and the sextuple strode quickly into the loading bay, taking the lift up. Marta ran a scan for bugs as they did, and once inside the bridge, she laughed. "Man, their security was a fucking joke. But, uh... What's going on? Where's the pirates?" "I don't know." Najia strode rapidly to an aux console, and checked the 'Wildcard' incoming data. Then she swore. "Either I misunderstood the plan, Maestro poorly communicated the plan, or the plan has changed; either way, I'm wanted back on the Endeavour."
She looked to Marta, who looked at her, spooked. "Najia, I just hacked the shit out of this place. Right?" She looked to the woman on the gunnery console (who also had the sensors), who looked back to her, nodding. "I'm getting a zero read on their turrets," the weapons officer confirmed. "This place is vulnerable as it's ever gonna be." Najia let out a guttural growl. "We're humped. They're not gonna be vulnerable to a hack like this again. Get us the fuck out of here," she said to the pilot, adding "please and with all swiftness." "Yes ma'am," the pilot answered, lifting the ship.
Najia huffed, and slapped both of her hands over her face. "And it gets better. She fucking made me the moment I walked in." "Made you made you? As in, made you as an Empyrean Cur?" "No, she greeted me by name. I had to think real fast to come up with why Najia Takio was slumming it doing credit-ante abductions for her corrupt ass. I made it out that I wasn't satisfied just taking barrels of Teladi money and was looking to develop real contracts through her contacts. But it gets better still. She insinuated she still has ears in the pirate crew she used to fly with, which as we know is -" "The Empyrean Curs. Well, fuckadoodle-doo," Marta said. "What the hell are we gonna do?"
"I don't know," Najia said, huffing and sighing. The Falx groaned as the pilot adjusted the course, and blasted into Travel speed with almost no noticeable lag. "If the Maestro wasn't so fixated, wasn't so bull-headed about 'live free or die,' I'd just buy the whole fucking lot out and pay them to go very, very far away, and get the hell out of here."
Marta snorts. "Maybe you still can. I mean, what's he gonna do if you out yourself on his bridge?" "Take me hostage?" "That'll go over well with Ace," Marta said, sarcastically. "And then I'll be calling in a fleet to bracket his tiny little pissant scrap-Destroyer with enough firepower to vaporize it in one salvo. Explain to him that the only way the Curs leave alive is when you and Ace are standing safe and sound on my command deck."
Najia blinked, and snorted. "Me and Ace?" She smirked at Marta. "She's growing on you." "Maybe. Fungally. But you'd be despondent, too. So yeah. Hell, he wants a payday out of it, we can do that. But yeah, maybe you should just out yourself to him - the other side knows you now - and offer him a huge sack of cash to just get the hell out of Dodge."
The Paramerion was already sitting on the landing pad on the Arcadian Endeavour when she arrived. Najia was moments from teleporting to it as a convenient reciever and simply walking off, when she realized that that tidbit probably would be noticed, so she had it shuffle with the Shiv. She hustled to the command deck, where Maestro was pacing.
The Maestro looked at her, eagerly. "You finished flipping switch?" "Yes, that's done," Najia answered, sucking in a breath to start asking questions of her own, starting with where the hell were you? "Good job," Maestro preempted her. "What petty crime Mellerd make you do?"
Najia huffed, and sighed. "I wouldn't say an abduction is petty crime." "Who you abduct," Maestro asked, curiously. "Some poor Split fellow in Avarice," Najia said, racking her brain for his name. He had told her, once. "Lu... Lu t'Cca," she said, wincing; "though I have probably mangled that. She took in a breath to ask her own questions, but Maestro suddenly showed more emotion than she had ever seen from him before; fury.
"You handed over my brother?!" Najia's eyes went wide, she took a half step back. The weight of the machine pistol she was still wearing on her hip was suddenly very familiar to her, and she swallowed down the urge to go for it. "B-Brother?! That was your brother?" She gawped. "Mellerd has my brother?!" Maestro raged; behind him, Ace slipped into the bridge, apparently having decided to don trousers. Najia wondered why that was what she had noticed. Ace apparently heard the outburst, and looked to her, startled, pushing her goggles up, then slipping around the central pillar.
"Curs! Report," Maestro thundered, though thankfully he didn't seem about to attack her. Axiom popped up in hologram on the bridge. "What happened?" "Mellerd! Vile traitor!" Maestro answered him. "One casualty not enough! He was out of game! Off limits!"
Ace scratched at her cap-covered crest. "Lu t'Cca?" "Imprisoned," Maestro vehemently responded. "We engage! Attack station!"
"No, wait - wait!" Ace hissed, holding her hand up. "We have a plan to get in. We will get him out." "Yeah," Axiom said firmly, in holo. "We'll get him out." His hologram was running, presumably he was coming to the bridge himself. "Let us finish up preparations, before we engage," Ace said. "I've got a better combat ship," she said. "I'm working on an improvement to the hacking attack," Axiom said.
"We're fucked," Najia said, holding her hands up. Ace, Maestro, and - walking onto the bridge - Axiom - looked to her. "Either we misunderstood the plan, or the plan changed on us. We already hacked the station," she said. "I sent one of my crew in to fiddle with a security junction while I walked into Mellerd's office. I thought the Arcadian Endeavour was going to be hitting the place the moment I walked out of her office; that I'd take the lift straight to the security hangar and lift struts then."
Ace let out a hiss and face-palmed. Maestro gawked at her for a moment. "Split did not communicate plan clearly enough for Terran," he finally said, anxiously. "This puts quite the wrench in our plans," Axiom said. "Even if I can complete a hack to end all hacks, it would still need to be uploaded. They will definitely have physical security in all applicable upload points this time." "And they will undoubtedly call in additional craft, at least for the next few days," Ace said, hissing. "As nice as the fighter Wildcard gave me is, it is still only a fighter." She nervously hopped from foot to foot, tail lashing.
Maestro was silent for a moment, and Najia swallowed. This was something far worse than she had thought it was - and it had been bad enough previously - now there was blood involved. This couldn't be rectified with a payday, even if she outed herself. She could try to overtly buy Lu t'Cca back, but there was no guarantee that would even work; or that Kriss Mellerd could even be trusted. She was, after all, a duplicitous traitor. "Need bigger combat ship," Maestro concluded. "Starfighter insufficient. A 'Ministry' Minotaur has been harassing ships in Windfall. It belongs to the Scale Plate Pact." He pointed at Najia. "Wildcard, you will capture it for the Ace. Axiom, with me; planning to do. Ace let out a trill, her tail lashing. "Do not worry; we will get him out!"
"Yes, we shall. Wildcard! Get that ship for Ace." Maestro turned and strode from the bridge, with Axiom in tow. Najia let out a sigh, running her hands through her hair. "His fucking brother! I wish you'd been with me," she said, huffing, picking Ace up and squeezing her tightly. She didn't care who saw her, and apparently neither did Ace, as she wrapped her arms, legs, and tail around Najia.
"It would have been easy to prevent this mistake, yes," Ace admitted, nuzzling the side of her head. "On the plus side, Sensors and I proved to be a good team, and the Paramerion you provided is a very nice craft." "Sensors? Oh." Najia grinned, smiling weakly; Ace had given Namiko a nickname, presumably on the spot, to refer to her in pirate company. "That's good, at least, and... Yeah. This is a mess." She set Ace down, huffing and leaning back on the railing behind her. "Maestro's fucking brother? Fuck... What do you know about him?"
"Maestro's brother?" Ace shook her head, pushing her goggles up all the way and rubbing the back of her neck. "He was with the crew even before I joined. But... They had a falling-out, and he left to seek new opportunities." "A falling-out?" Najia tilted her head, curiously. "Yessss," Ace said, awkwardly, unable to contain the susurrus hiss that slipped into her voice. She didn't want to keep details - that might be relevant, even - from Najia, but it would get back to Maestro if she spoke of it. She awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. "I... Would rather not discuss their private matters."
Najia blinked, and nodded. "Okay," she said. "Okay. Private affairs, got it - not our business." Ace nodded at her, as she continued, "So... Now what?" "Now, we're going to attack an M-class ship in order to steal it," Ace said, turning and walking brusquely for the lift; Najia turned and followed her, trusting immediately that Ace knew what she was about. "I know well that you have combat-worthy craft and are up to this task," Ace commented, as they headed for the Shiv on the landing pad. "Yeah, we're up for it," Najia said. Fatimah looked back at them, and lifted struts at a gesture from Ace; the door sealed up, and Najia said, "but I could just... You know, give you a Falx."
Ace trilled, but it had an awkwardly vibrating character to it; Najia took it for a nervous chuckle's equavilent. "I would prefer that, but Maestro has given us a specific target. I have never seen him quite this angry, not even when Mellerd... Parted ways with us. Best, I think, to follow through. And I do not imagine you have any qualms about attacking the Scale Plate Pact."
"That's for sure," Najia said, huffing and rubbing her face. Fatimah quickly had them on the landing pad of Jackdaw and she slipped out of the fighter, Ace following her. They bypassed the lift down from the pad and went straight in through the auxiliary airlock. "What a clusterfuck," she said. "Mmmmhmmm," Marta said. "I took a page out of Boso Ta's book and was listening in. We are in deep shit now, sister," she said, then she looked at Ace; walked over to her, and patted her shoulder, firmly. "Deep shit." "The excrement in which we find ourselves is substantially closer to my nose than yours," Ace said, with a slight trill. "I hate to even consider pointing it out lest the idea has not occured to you yet, but... You could extricate yourselves from this mess."
"Yeah, not a chance in hell we're doin' that, scale-sister," Marta responded, before Najia could do more than nod. "We got Maestro's brother into this mess, it ain't our style to leave him to swing like that. We're gonna have to get him out. Somehow." Najia grinned. "Somehow. The ace in our hole - pun intended - is that I did complete the hack in Mellerd's office, and I don't think she knows. She was too busy giving me a smug runaround. The grit in our gears is that we jumped the gun by hacking the station preemptively. What happened, anyway? Did I misunderstand the plan?" "I am not sure," Ace admitted. "Namiko and I were heading to rendezvous in Eighteen Billion when we got a recall order from the Arcadian Endeavour, but it was routine, rather than an emergency. I think we both misunderstood the plan."
A long few moments of silence passed between them in companionable discontent, and then Marta snorted. "Hey, Ace, I've been meaning to ask you. How'd you like that 'game' on Najia's datapad?" Ace blinked, and looked up at her. "Odd time to bring it up. It was creatively challenging, the actual puzzle was good, but the gamification seems to be entirely left out. Is it a beta?"
Najia facepalmed as Marta chuckled. "That wasn't a game at all. You ordered the construction of a monumental facillity in Gaian Prophecy," she said, laughing wryly. Between her split fingers, she peered out and watched with gratification as Ace rocked back, alarmed, and wrapping her tail tightly around herself. "I... Er..."
"Relax," Marta said. "It was her dumb fault for just giving you her unlocked datapad." "Yeah. Also, it's... Actually, you designed a beauty of a station," Najia added. "An absolute gorgeous industrial monstrosity with a fantastic towering habitation center on top." She straightened up, smiling; beaming at Ace, who seemed to recieve the smile gladly. "So," Najia said. "We have a ship to get you. We can totally just have the Eighteen B shipyard put together a Falx, or I could have one called up from reserves..." Ace shook her head. "Maestro will not be happy a direct command was disobeyed. He might be mollified by the ship produced being manifestly superior, but it would jog his attention. He'd start to ask why we disobeyed; where we got the Falx."
"I could just give you Jackdaw," Najia noted, and Ace trilled lightly. "I appreciate it, and that might work, but he's probably going to want you in Jackdaw. We'll have to take the Minotaur."
"Right," Najia said, cracking her knuckles. "No offense, skipper, but I think we'll take the flight deck for this one." The woman with the piratical haircut and the severely 'business' outfit looked back, grinning at her. "Hell, it's about time for me to go off shift anyway."
"I should probably say something cautionary about how big this vessel is, but we are comparable in size and mass. I should warn you about how dangerous its guns are, but we are better-armed, and likely both better-shielded and more maneuverable," Ace noted from the gunnery console. "Yep. He's a big bad boy, or so he thinks," Marta noted, as Najia piloted Jackdaw towards the Minotaur up ahead. "But he's a lot bigger than the Raker Manticore he's heading for with what looks like unpleasant intentions." "Also, you brought friends," Namiko said from the cockpit of the Parmerion that Najia had given to Ace. "Damn right they did," Fatimah called from the cockpit of the Kallis-class starfighter named Shiv. "When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support," chimed in Raeleen Baner, following Jackdaw from the flight deck of Snapping Tortoise.
"And we'll just, uh, stand by to pick up pods in case this goes completely to shit," added the pilot of the Ninja Taco, Katlin Noore. "I mean, we could make an attack run, but it seems pretty redundant at this point."
A chorus of chuckles from within and without the cockpit surrounded Najia, and she smirked, as she brought the nose of Jackdaw toward the offending disguised Scale Plate Minotaur, who was already firing upon the Raker; who was calling for help. "Break and run," she called to the Riptide scavenger. "We've got this hump."
"Mind your own ledgers," the Scale Plate pirate called back, then she heard a hiss of alarm as the pirate must have seen just how many ships were painting her with targeting sensors. Presumably in a burst of wisdom, she turned to run, but it was far too late. "Bail out or die," Najia ordered the pirate as Fatimah and Namiko roared past the Jackdaw wing by wing, rolling in and unloading with their near-identical starfighters' cannons, letting off a burst to stall the pirate from escaping into Travel Drive. A moment later, she triggered Jackdaw's mammoth rotary cannons, while the single-barreled accelerators that were Snapping Tortoise's forward armament put in their own word.
"Show me your nose and I chew it off," Najia snarled as the Minotaur raider, evidently realizing that escape was not in the cards, turned and tried to close. "She's got Shard cannons," Ace alerted. "Dangerous at close range, but not dangerous enough!"
Najia was more than willing to joust with the oncoming pirate; she had twice the weight of forward cannons, her side cannons and those of Snapping Tortoise kept up the fire as they spiraled towards one another. The Minotaur's shields collapsed totally and she took several salvoes of body blows; the two starfighters executed a wing-over roll and each strafed the Minotaur again as she tried to soar past Najia. Ace was quietly giving the gunners orders to cease fire-with-intent and only give the Minotaur an occasional bite to remind them the clock was ticking, as Najia hit the comms again. "Surrender the fucking ship or die for it. Your call." Her aft turret gave the Minotaur's aft a stitching of pulse fire, then her turrets started firing - intentionally widely, but they were making one hell of a light show.
"Fine, fine," the Scale Plate pirate called, as she saw escape pods appearing on her tactical screen. "You win, Cur! Take it and leave us in peace." Ace huffed at that. Marta chuckled. "Should we pop them sumbitches? Take 'em prisoner at least?" "Let 'em go," Najia said. "Maybe they'll turn over a new leaf, but we got what we came for." She thumbed the comms. "Everyone form up, let's inspect Ace's new prize... Woah!"
An explosion issued from the stricken ship; the starfighters peeled off get clear, just in case, and Najia and Snapping Tortoise backed off to give it room. "The fuck," Marta asked. "They may have sabotaged the ship on the way out," Ace said. "Let us wait, they may have successfully rigged it to blow entirely..."
They stood off and waited. Two more large detonations on the ship occured, but nothing further happened. After awhile, Ace and Najia suited up, approached the ship over the strenuous objections of Marta and the other captains - Najia and Ace were the only ones with real EV repair training. Carefully they checked the ship for outward signs of further destruction, and, with nothing found, proceeded in. The bailing pirate crew had sabotaged the weapons, and tried to sabotage everything, but, ironically, the damage that they had done had prevented the pirates from successfully rigging the whole ship to blow.
"This thing is a wreck. She can move... Barely," Ace noted. "But I don't much like it." "No problem," Najia said, grinning. "I have a plan," she said; they had reached the M-raider's flight deck, a narrow cockpit with no secondary seats, and were examining things. Engineers from both Jackdaw and Snapping Tortoise had teleported over to restore main power and were working on structural integrity, and Namiko had swapped with another pilot from the Tortoise, joining them on the pirate ship. "And what is that," Ace asked as Najia sat in the pilot's seat.
Najia found the Riptide Raker nearby; they had taken damage and were now restoring their own power. "Raker salvage ship, Raker salvage vessel, how are you? We have taken possession of the ship that attacked you, over." "This is the salvage tug Breem. We've had better days, but no permanent damage. You should have blown those pirates to the Tide though," the salvage tug pilot complained. "Yeah, well, they bailed out, so I wasn't gonna renege on my word. How would you like to get repairs and upgrades to your ship on my credit?"
"... I'm listening," the salvager answered. "What do I owe you for it?" "Take this vessel under tow and get us to the Takio Enterprises shipyard in Eighteen Billion. For my own reasons, I need this thing intact. Do that, and you get the works; Terran Mark Three engines and shields, top-of-the-line thrusters of your choice if you don't already have them, full hold of laser towers and countermeasures, and top-of-the-line software if needed. And of course, any hull repair. Just no questions."
After a long, tense moment, the Raker pilot commed them back. "Done deal." Najia smirked, looking back at Ace, who trilled at her.
"There we go," Najia said. She and Ace were standing under the prow of the repaired Minotaur, which Najia had caused to be painted in a shinny green-scale-and-brass scheme, and named La Tora. The vessel was now sporting a single forward pulse cannon, a launcher, and its turrets were bolts. The original thrusters had, surprisingly, been both Mark 3 Combats already, and were wholly intact, while the totally-shot crap engines had been replaced, as had the shields. "Think that will do?"
Ace trilled at her. "This is such a vessel," she said. "A jolly pirate indeed would captain this vessel." "Yeah, well... If you say so. I'm still worried it's a little... Undergunned... Undershielded... Flimsy. I'd rather put you in one of my Falx frigates, but, this will hopefully do." She huffed, and hugged Ace again. "You ready?"
"As likely I will be. Namiko is waiting for me in La Tora's bridge. I already told Maestro that the ship was badly damaged and you were paying for repair and retrofit, and had already bargained for it before I could ask the Curs for assistance. He accepted that," Ace said, pressing her head into Najia's chest. "Thank you. For not abandoning us." Najia grinned, and simply kissed the top of Ace's crest. She then let go, patting Ace's bicep. "Let's get to our ships and see what Maestro wants." She gestured to the Jackdaw; it, and all of 'Wildcard's' ships, had been repainted in a beautiful, eye-searing neon-yellow-and-stark-white set of colors, and had been given nondescript generic transponders. That would likely not fool anyone who was looking too closely, but... "Indeed. I may have to rename the ship, though... 'La Tora' means something very rude in Teladi." She trilled. "Let us be off," Ace said. She pulled out her datapad, and Najia stepped back as Ace activated the 'teleport-me-aboard' function. Moments later, Ace became visible in the high flight-deck window, leaning over Namiko and waving at her. Najia waved, and recalled herself to the Shiv.
Najia stopped by the bridge of the Arcadian Endeavour when first she landed, but though it was fully-staffed, Maestro wasn't there. One of the crewwomen informed her that the senior planners were meeting in the crew quarters. She headed for the lift; Marta had come along, wearing her 'piratical' outfit and projecting an aura of 'this woman is my sister, mess with her and you mess with me'.
They found the core members of the Empryean Curs in a lounge aboard the Arcadian Endeavour. Najia noted, with a slight twist of the lips, that it looked as if the room had undergone a recent makeover - with fixtures and sundries procured at her stations. She wondered if that was a subtle message.
The lights were low, and for a moment Najia was worried it might be an ambush. Clearly the same idea occurred to Marta, but Ace was relaxed, at ease, so Najia patted Marta's hand as they entered the room. There was no ambush. "Everyone attending now," Maestro declared. "Good. Split allowed all time Split could spare for Wildcard to prep." Ace let out a soft trill, looking over at Najia. "Yes, and my shiny new combat ship could come in very handy, once it is time to disengage!"
Najia grinned at Ace, nodding. She sucked in a breath to ask a question, but Maestro beat her to the punch. "Now, time for decisive action! No longer just plan of petty revenge, or even business! Mellerd looking to strike low blow, involving someone who no longer in game!" He huffed. "Curs can play game too, but better! Breaking out Split's brother now priority."
Najia nodded, and cracked her knuckles. "Got it. After all, we got him into this mess." Ace nodded, and looked from her to Maestro. "Are we still going after the Science Division prototype?" "Yes!" Maestro responded. "After prison break-out, Wildcard make way through internal ducts, connected to hangar. Then, proceed to make escape in prototype ship."
Axiom made a satisfied-sounding rumbling. "It's a sound plan. They'll not expect you to use their precious ship for the getaway." "Right. Because you'd expect a prison break to have an exit strategy arranged outside, so they'll probably pull security from the hangar to respond to the cells."
Maestro nodded. "As to how you gain access to station in first place, Axiom will tag along. Hack into their system. Serve as on-ground supervisor. No time to waste. Get to it!" He gestured to the door, vehemently, clearly unwilling to brook dissent or entertain questions. Najia started at that. "But..."
Ace grasped her hand. "We've got this. Trust Axiom to hold up his end of the plan," she said, preempting Najia's objection, as Maestro strode out. Najia sighed, huffed, and nodded. "Alright! So, back to the Shiv?" "No; we procured one of the Ministry's petty patrol vessels just for transport. Less recognizable vessels involved, the better. Besides, the ship that lands is probably not leaving again. Best it be one of theirs."
Najia let out a sigh. The plan sounded slapdash at best, but she nodded. "Right."
"The ground infiltration is not a three person task," Ace said, as she, Najia, Axiom and Marta arrived on the pad. "Wildcard, you will have to go alone with Axiom." Marta snorted, and sighed. "I don't like it. Be safe, sister," she said, punching Najia's bicep, enough to ache slightly. Najia smirked back at her, as Axiom hurried to climb into the Callisto procured for the infiltration. "Don't worry, I'll keep Axiom safe," Najia said, smirking back at Marta. "Ace, keep her safe." "I'll deliver her to Jackdaw once we've transferred to Carefree Whirlwind."
Najia grinned, and hastened to climb aboard the Callisto after Axiom. She looked around the cockpit of the small craft, and winced; it was small indeed. "Buckle up, Wildcard," Axiom said from the pilot's seat. Najia laughed incredulously. "Where," she demanded, and got a hearty, deep laugh for her troubles, as Axiom piloted the craft up and off the landing pad. Moments later, they were zooming ahead from where the Arcadian Endeavour was lurking, outside of Wormwood Scrubs' customary sensor perimeter.
"I have to admit, I am nervous!" Axiom declared. Najia stood behind him, clutching an upright chicken-stick and peering around his side. She winced at his declaration, as he continued, "Sure, I have been involved in large-scale operations before, but never quite like this." Wormwood Scrubs loomed in the distance, and Najia wondered why what was ostensibly a prison complex had large fabrications facillities built in. She didn't imagine it was ever a good idea to put prisoners to work building things they could sabotage that would be vital. "I just hope the Maestro can keep his cool throughout it all," Axiom added.
"Mmmhmm," Najia agreed nonverbally. "The fact that his brother is now involved is weighing heavily on him. Mellerd sure knew how to provoke a reaction!" Najia snorted. "Yeah, well... The smug bitch is gonna regret that, that's for damn sure. How much her ability to make us regret making her regret this day, well, that's an open question. There'll be recriminations to go around one way or another, I think."
Axiom made his own nonverbal sound of agreement, as he swept the ship in to a landing, over what looked like the prison module, and landing at the conventional small craft dock. "Okay, this is it. Initiating docking," he said, pointlessly, Najia thought. "You know what to do, right," Axiom asked, as he turned his chair aruond. Najia noted that the incredibly-tall Paranid piloted whilst standing; the standard-issue pilot's chair had actually extended into something like an amusement-park-ride standing back-rest for him. "I will spoof your credentials, so that you can gain entry into the prison complex again. Then locate Lucca. I'll talk you through the rest." As he said that, he departed, and Najia pressed into the tiny airlock to let him pass, then followed him down and out the aft ladder. "Good luck," Axiom said, as he headed for his left. Najia pulled the pistol from her hip, checked its magazine, chambered a round, and returned it to its holster.
"Hope I don't need this," she muttered to herself, heading for another lift. She slipped in, and pulled the bug-checker app that Marta had loaded onto her commlink up, checking it with her free hand. Unless the Ministry had access to way better spy gear than she did - and knowing what penny-pinchers they were, and Boso Ta's opinion of their cleverness, she doubted that very much - she was in the clear. She had a comms tap to the Curs - and her own crew - and it was unobstructed, unobserved. Neither were any security devices capturing her images; either Marta's previous hack was still in effect, Axiom's work was being done, or both.
Najia's heart raced as she exited the lift into the first level of the prison complex. This was, she thought, insanity; she wasn't a covert operative. Her martial arts skill was amatuer at best. If she ran into any prison guards, her only hope would be to shoot them. She had confidence that her Predator pistol's armor-penetrating, 10mm magnum rounds would do the job; but she'd never shot in anger at anyone else face-to-face before, and she really didn't want to start doing so on a Ministry prison station where her real identity was known. And she was going into a prison. If she could think of any one place where the Teladi would not pinch pennies on personnel, it would be a prison. Yet, instead of finding a security checkpoint outside the lift, she walked into an empty corridor.
Najia blinked, as Axiom placed a call to her. "According to our intel, Lucca should be somewhere on this floor." Najia huffed, and followed the line projected in her HUD. Every step down the corridor seemed to Najia as if it echoed like a cannon discharge, and she nervously checked each way at every intersection, pistol in her hands, selector switch set to two-round burst. Every heartbeat felt like an eternity, at every corner she expected to be jumped by a guard, yelled at, or simply shot. She made it to a cell block - three rooms off a guard room with a desk, seperated from the main room by bars. She swept side to side, thinking surely there must be a guard actually watching prisoners but after an anticlimactic moment, realized there was not. She was alone, save for that one cell was occupied, by Lu t'Cca - or Lucca? She was fuzzy on that.
"Hmm," Axiom's voice came over her earpiece. "That console's connection to the cell doors has been severed. Standard procedure." Najia wondered how in the hell that made sense - but then, the consoles were actually within arm's reach of a prisoner inside the cells. And if the cell blocks were going to go unsupervised...
The phrase 'criminally negligent' crossed Najia's mind, as Axiom continued, "This will slightly raise our profile, but I should be able to... Adjust it remotely." Najia nodded, took a deep breath, walking to the darkened cell door. Lu t'Cca was within. He did not look pleased to see her, as he pushed himself up from the too-narrow, Teladi-sized cot. "You! Creature! Worst taxi driver Split ever met! Creature blind or just stupid?!" His vehemence was understandable, and it still made Najia step back on her heel, as he thundered at her, rising to his feet, "Split kill you after escape! Beat first, then kill! Or pretend Split is Taxi driver, deliver creature to blood-traitor, then beat, then kill!"
Najia felt a tremble run down her back, stiffening her shoulders. She was mightily tired of being disrespected, belittled, or downplayed; by, it seemed, just about everyone in the sector, from Boso Ta calling her 'Assistant' to Maestro giving her names on a whim to Brantlee Northriver's dismissive and smug attitude as if he was the biggest big-shot humanity had ever produced to Kriss Mellerd's faking a call as if she were taking her seriously to, well, Lucca (a) calling her a taxi-driver and (b) threatening her a violent and graphic death. The urge to bellow 'shut up' and hold him at gunpoint welled up deeply inside her. Her hand twitched with her firearm in it... Then she huffed, and with a decisive motion, holstered it. "Calm the fuck down," she snapped at him. Not very diplomatic, but considering that her first notion had been to literally hold him at gunpoint, it was fairly moderate.
"Split not calm down!" he retorted, seething - though his eyes were drawn by the motion of her holstering her weapon. "Creature calm down first, or... Or...!" He inarticulated a sound of exasperation. "Split realize creature still here. Why come? What else creature want but gloat?" He did, in fact, sound calmer now; perhaps the fact that she could have shot him, or threatened to do so, and that many of his past life's associates would have done just that after the violent death he had promised them, and yet she had not, got through to him. Or perhaps he simply mastered his temper because she was armed.
"Look, The Curs -" "Split want nothing to do with filthy, dishonorable Curs!" Lu t'Cca ranted. "Except if making amends," he added, almost parenthetically, seemingly swinging wildly between reconciliatory and fury. "Split tried to make peace, leave past behind. Brothers, sisters, friend-foes, conflict, tangle, chaos! No honor! Only choice, was no choice!" He ranted, on a roll, and Najia decided to let him wind himself down. "Enough talk! Creature take responsibility, now! Help Split escape, then Split not kill. Maybe!"
Najia rolled her eyes; she wanted to point out that she could still just shoot him. Instead, she said, "Let's get the hell out of here." "What creature waiting for," Lucca thundered at her. "Open cell, or eat fist!" Najia restrained her ire to a low growl in the back of her throat. She was really tired of receiving physical threats from an imprisoned man, even if he had every reason to be pissed at her. She was about to point out again that she armed, when Axiom thankfully interrupted. "If the Triangularity wills it... There we go! The door controls should be enabled now. Try them."
Najia stepped over to the console next to the prison door, and started to look it up and down. Numbers scrolled on the screen rapidly, she flicked through menues, but though she started to search more and more frantically, it was just a bio of the prisoner with everything redacted, and a log of routine entries - prison mealtimes and stuff. She started to hiss, low in her throat, as she frantically flipped back to the root menu, but there was nothing useful there. Paranoidally, she glanced over her shoulder, but there was noone at the door. She took her hand off the hilt of her pistol, scrambling to the desk. There was no active console on it, but one beside it, on the wall; she hurried to it, but it was simply mirrors of the console on the wall, reflecting all three cells. Frantically, she dropped to a squat, looking under the desk, above it, feeling under it, but she couldn't find any hidden consoles.
Near to panic, she looked up, and saw there was a tiny, easily-overlooked button next to the cell door, trivially within reach of the prisoner. No, she thought. That couldn't possibly be it. It was too exposed. Any careless slip in forgetting to disconnect it, and a prisoner could be out anytime.
The words criminally negligent ran through her head as she reached out and tapped the button. Of course it opened.

Hi all, I will be travelling for the first time to Japan in May and would like your opinion on the my itinerary below. Any advice would be appreciated.
Some notes:

• we have decided to go with this order because I have 2 friends coming in different times of my trip, and they want to hit Kyoto, Osaka and Tokyo.
• there is currently a gap from 10 - 12 May & 31 May - 01 Jun, where we have yet to decide where we can explore on those days.
• there are some days blocked off for work/free & easy, as I am remote working while travelling, hence will need some days to catch up on work. (but if I happen to finish my work I will explore the area)

At this point, I am trying to figure out:

• if any days are too packed and need to be split up
• any hidden gems or recommended places/food to try
• general travelling or hotel tips

Overview
Hokkaido: 30 April - 10 May (10 days)
TBD: 10 -12 May
Hakone: 13 - 15 May (3 days) (friend A joins on 13 May)
Osaka (Himeji/Kobe): 16 May (1 day)
Koyasan: 17 May - 18 May (2 days)
Osaka: 19 May - 21 May (3 days) (friend B joins on 20 May)
Kyoto: 22 May - 24 May (3 days)
Tokyo: 25 May - 29 May (5 days) (friend A leaves on 26 May)
Kazanawa: 30 May - 31 May (2 days)
TBC: 31 May - 01 Jun
Flight Back: 02 Jun (friend B & I leave together)
​
Here is a more detailed plan I've come up with (still a WIP)
Detailed
Day 1 - 3 - Sapporo (30 April - 3 May)
Accom - Tmark City Hotel Sapporo (near Sapporo TV Tower) (30 April - 5 May)
30 April
Arrive CTS: 1735

• dinner & explore mall
• CTS to Tmark (1h bus) (last bus 9pm)

1 May

• Maruyama Park - Cherry Blossom (21 min from Tmark)
• Maruyama Zoo
• Mt Moiwa (View & Dinner)
• Sapporo TV Tower (View)
• Clock Tower
• Sapporo Beer Museum
• Beer Garden Dinner (Crab) - need to reserve

2 May - free & easy (work & rest)
3 May

• Shiroikoibito Park - chocolate making, cookies, desserts (40min from Tmark)
• Moerenuma Park (1h30min from Shiroikoibito Park; 1h 20min from Tmark)
• Food (will be split between 30 Apr - 3 May)
  • Hokkaido Soft Serve, Ramen, Kaisendon, Gengis Khan, Soup Curry
  • Miso Butter Corn Ramen
  • Miyakoshiya Cafe (Grilled Cheese Toast) (10 min from Tmark)
  • Kani Honke (crab) (30 min from Tmark)
  • Gotsubo Oyster Bar (5 min walk from Tmark)
  • shime-parfait bars

Otaru (4 May) (Day Trip)
1h train ride

• Otaru Aquarium (1800 yen) - penguin walk
• Hiroyiyama Lighthouse
• Otaru Canal - sunset
  • Otaru Glassware
  • Sightseeing Cruise (Port No. 3)
• Music Box Museum
• Food to try (will not go for all)
  • Sushi, Donburi, Kuboya (Cafe)
  • Chocolate (Letao)
  • Fried Chicken (Naruto)
  • Sankaku Market (Kaisendon)
• Back to Sapporo

Furano/Biei - countryside (5-6 May) (1-2 days)
Accom - Phottage inn Biei

• 4h train ride (early day)
• Shirogane Blue Pond (Biei) (4h) (https://goo.gl/maps/vzU446nUgfnkr6WFA) (1.5h bus ride from Asahikawa) + nearby waterfall
• Shikisai No Oka (Biei) (alpaca farm) (2h from Blue Pond) (https://goo.gl/maps/A8gLNzaQLB5frUiS9) (30min walk)
• Farm Tomita (Furano) (1h from Shikisai No Oka)
• Food: Melons, Shinkoyaki

Noboribetsu (7 May) - Hot Spring

• train ride from Biei
• Cape Chikuyu
• Hell Valley (https://goo.gl/maps/vDABE1k1yRFwcNZW8)
• Oyunuma Pond (1km walk) (https://goo.gl/maps/nTn9A2DRZM8kwh4a6)
• River Oyunuma Footbath (650m walk) (https://goo.gl/maps/RYeURQRpSz3EPa4u7)
• Yumoto Sagiriyu onsen (1km walk) (https://goo.gl/maps/yBmKJEGRAprYXFwx8)
• Onsen
• Head to Hakodate (no overnight stay)

Hakodate/Toya (8-9 May)
Accom - Toyoko Inn Hokkaido (7-9 May)
8 May

• Train to Toya
• Mt Usu Ropeway
• Lake Toya/Sobetsu Waterfall

9 May - free & easy (work & rest)

• Mount Hakodate Ropeway - Observatory (night view)

10 May

• Cape Tachimachi
• Hakodate Morning Market
• Goryokaku Park & Tower
• Miharashi Park (Kosetsuen)
• Bar Shares Hishii
• Lucky Pierrot - burger
• Sakura-machi Restaurant
• Kanemori Red Brick Warehouse
• Hachiman-Zaka Slope
• Kikuizumi Cafe
• Goryokaku Tower
• Other food recommendations: seafood (king crab leg), soft-serve, melon, miso ramen (ajisai)

Food
- Petite Merveille Patisserie
- Ko Yo Tei (Jozankei)
- Fuurano Wine House
- Tokachi Hills (Otofuke)
- Daruma - Lamb BBQ
- anything dairy
- 🍴Ramen, crab, jingisukan
- Soup Curry
Other Potential Places from 11 - 12 May

• Tohoku
• Kushiro
• Kiritappu
• Asahikaiwa
• Sunagawa (1h 30 min north from Sapporo City)
  • Somes Saddle (Leather Products)
• Sendai
  • Sendai Morning Market
  • Food: gyutan, zunda mochi, zunda shake

Hakone
Accom: TBC
must see/do: Onsen, Mount Fuji view
12 May

• 6h train to Hakone (maybe in aft/night)

13 May
Friend A reaches Tokyo (will reach Hakone est 1200)

• Heiwa no Tori/Hakone Shrine (Lake Ashi) (36 min from Manten)
• Old Tokaido Road
• Mishima Sky Walk (55 min from Manten) (JPY 1100 walk, JPY 3900 adventure+zipline, JPY 2000 zipline) (30mins - 3h)
• Hakone Sightseeing Cruise (Hakone Free Pass) (JPY 2,220 round trip)
• Hakone Ropeway (Gondola) (Hakone Free Pass)

14 May

• Komagatake Ropeway (Mt. Hakone) (50min from Manten)
• Tenzan Onsen
• Hakone Open Air Museum

Koya

• 6h Train from Hakone to Koya

​
Mt. Koya
Accom - temple stay

• Eko-in (touristy) (~$300)
• Fudo-in (¥20,000)
• Hongaku-in (authentic) (¥17,470)
• Joki-in (close to Danjo Garan) (~$284)
• -Saizen-in (more luxurious than Joki-in) (~$350)
• Yochi-in ($129)

16 May & 17 May

• Train from Hakone to Koya
• Danjo Garan temple complex (Kondo hall & pagoda)
• Okuno-in Cemetery
• Rokuro Pass hike

Osaka
Food to try: okonomiyaki, kushikatsu, takoyaki
Accom: near Dotonburi

• Airbnb 1 ($92/night)
• Airbnb 2 ($104/night)
• Airbnb 3 ($102/night)
• Airbnb 4 ($118/night)

18 May - free & easy OR day trip to Himeji/Kobe

• 1h 30min shinkansen from Osaka (https://goo.gl/maps/HFffyx81HvmGWTyy6) (¥3,080)
• Himeji Castle (White Heron Castle)
• Engyō-ji Temple
• Koko-en Garden & museums

19 May

• Shitenno-ji Temple (Tennoji Ward)
• Shinsekai district (Naniwa Ward)
• Harukas 300 (view)
• Kuromon Ichiba Market (Chuo Ward)
• Teamlab Botanical Garden @ Nagai Park (Higashisumiyoshi Ward) (1900-2130) (JPY 1,600)

20 May - free & easy (work and rest)

• Friend B comes over (reaches Osaka est. 1600)

21 May - Osaka Castle & Dotonbori

• Osaka Castle
• Hozenji Temple
• Ebisubashi Bridge & Dōtonbori Lights (& street food)
• Uncle Rikuro’s Cheesecake
• America-mura
• Shinsaibashi Shopping Arcade
• Dotonbori Takoyaki
• Train ride to Kyoto

Kyoto
Accom - Airbnb near Nishiki Market
Food to try: warabimochi, ramen, sushi, omurice, nishinsoba, Nishiki Market (oysters, egg octopus, senbe), Sake
22 May - Higashiyama & Nagakyo (temples)

• Temple Trail (5km from Higashiyama-ji to Kiyomizu-dera)
  • Ginkaku-ji Temple
  • Nanzen-ji & Eikando (via Philosopher’s Path)
  • Hei-an Shrine
  • Chion-in
  • Maruyama Park
    • Yasaka Shrine
    • Gion (Geisha - old Kyoto)
  • Kodai-ji
  • Ninezaka
    • Tatmi Starbucks (@ Ninezaka)
  • Sannezaka
    • Kiyomizu-dera
  • Higashi Hongaji Temple
  • Dinner: Kichi Kichi Omurice (book in advance)
  • Kamo River & Nishiki Market (Nagakyo ward)

23 May - free & easy (work & rest)
24 May - Arashiyama (1/2 day)

• Arashiyama Bamboo Forest (come early - 6-8am) (1h walk)
  • Okochi-sanso Villa (private garden & matcha)
  • Tenryu-ji
• Lunch: Restaurant Arashiyama
• Iwatayama Park (monkeys)
• Hozu River boat ride OR Sagano Sight-Seeing Tram (sightseeing)
• Kinkaku-ji Temple (golden pavilion)

24 May - Fushimi & Nara Park (1/2 day)

• Fushimi Inari Shrine (6-7am to avoid crowds) (2h to complete)
• Kyoto Station (night)
• Nara Park (day trip) - wild deers,🍴somen (can go after Fushimi)
• Go to Tokyo 24th night

Tokyo
Accom: Airbnb
25 May - Shibuya & Harajuku

• Team Lab Planets (JPY 3500)
• Shibuya Starbucks
• Shibuya Sky - sunset
• Miyashita Park (Mall)
• Harajuku (Shopping)
• Meiji Shrine
• Shinjuku Station neon signs
• Shibuya Crossing

26 May - free & easy (work & rest)

• Friend B leaves Japan (1700)
• movie @ Toshima – Grand Cinema Sunshine -

27 May - Ginza

• Red Tokyo Tower
• Tokyo Art Aquarium
• Misono‘s teppanyaki grill
• Happy Pancake
• Guykatsu Motomura Haku (BBQ Beef)

28 May - free & easy/Kamakura (Day Trip)

• 3 Hiking Trail (Western preferable) (30-90mins to complete each)
• Hokokuji Temple
• Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shrine
• Hasedera Temple
• Great Buddha statue

29 May - Taito City

• Sensoji Temple (0600 or 1530)
• Ueno Park
• Akihabara (Anime, Manga, Old School Arcades)
• Tokyo Sky Tree (¥2,700)

Kanazawa
Accom: Hotel Wing International Premium Kanazawa Ekimae (¥8,216)
30 May

• Train to Kanazawa
• Omicho Market
• Kenroku-en & Kanazawa Castle
• Higashi Chaya district
• Nagamachi - Nomura Clan Home

31 May - 01 Jun - TBC
02 Jun

• Flight from Tokyo (0700)

(An offshoot to i am a baby dwagon, since i thought id get to posting but apperently tyson chicken disagrees)
Dragon country isn't a place for kings and emperors, nore of bandits and roaming armies of summoned creatures. Sure the land has its fair share of them all, but above are dragons. Beneath too in any case where one thinks a clear sky meant safety.
Any moment of misstep, misunderstanding or perceived betrayal was observed, marked, recorded. People worke their feilds, build their homes, ply their craft, most of them innocent to the presence around them. They live in ignorance and bliss.
Those who know, who have seen or disputed understand, they are encouraged onto this land. The strong and smart, durable and dependable, the productive and compatible, all arrayed twards Dragon Mountain. Lands all around remain desolate to cover an empire older than time, or verdant beyond compare to feed the thousands of small armies that constantly feud.
Noone knows the full extent of the contract with the dragons, only that whenever anyone breaks it too much they disappear. Even in privacy, secreted away from even the watch of the gods a dragon somewhere sees their misdeeds. Somewhere somehow, one of them knows and calls upon their bretheren to deliver their verdict.
I thought this all to be the ramblings of crazy people, old superstitious fogies untill one of the elder dragons landed before me with a titanic scroll in its mouth. It did not beat its wings, but the air rished before it on pillars of starlight and it burnt the sands before it into glass as deep as a man's height. It had me read the scroll and sighn on behalf of my army.
Simplified terms of entery and residence.
Thats what the scroll was titled, and even though each letter was no smaller than the sole of my boot it was still a scroll of emence size. The thickest part made of simple woven staw so thick the letters of the document were branded onto it. By the time that overlapped itself three times it had integrated into a course linen, then it moved finer and finer into silks where it seamed the threads themselves were selectively woven to make tapestry letters.
The document explained none of the methods, assurances or context, only established the rules of the land, punishments for breaking them and various relevent examples like self defence, diseption and food handling.
Clarifying and dispiting various clauses were tasks taken up by any random solder who happened to read any part of it and see the dragon sitting by the header. Several times I woke up to a dragon calmly explaining some silly theory of sickness to a grunt peasant who's only armor is his beadroll and weapon a ringed club.
When eventually I fealt comfortable signing I was resolved to understand the story of this land ratger the conquer it propper. Because as long as there are dragons like that no army is going to just pillage its way through.
No we spread ourselves out and claimed an area of barely farmable land, a spot where river meets desert and tilled enough dirt into sand that when we planted dammed the river it all became a dry marsh. This is why we sent for an occupying population as early as we did, because dragons enforce a no pillaging policy.
Having a beachhead to provide linens wood and grain would be necessary to holding any territory.
Marching to our first town we battled the defenders, we won but only barely. They collapsed roads and forced us to fight through buildings where our numbers were matched against the enimy's stamina.
Eventually their remaining fighters surrendered and we were able to set up a propper rout between the town and the beachhead. Having now workers, workshops and hygene facilities to keep moral up futher expansion could be done. But our losses were emence and only a Desert Splitter taking intrest in healing our wounded kept us from falling back imediately.
Apparently, indifferent to the fighting, the dragon just wanted to train her healing skills.
Soon craftsman showed up with similar motives, not caring for lost land or loyalty but hearing of a new invasion and thinking what personal progress they could make. Mercenaries, civil planners, mages, botanists, beast tamers all came not long after and as we expanded our farm land it became apperent that something was diverting more and more water to our dams and distributaries.
Every new person helped peice together the story of this place, why the dragons enforce their rules, shape these lands, guard their mountain.
I am Commander Elliott, and should an occasion to investigate the mountain itself ever appear, this shal be delivered back to the kingdom upon my departure.
Some great upset had all the elders out and about, and the commander made good on his word. A small force, barely 5 squads of elite troops, mounted mercinary and otherwise took to dragon mountain.
Steath at the cost of mobility was discarded, armor at the cost of mobility was discarded, even utility, the ability to make camp, out. They had rations stored in spacial bags, emchantments to keep up stamina and everyone had Standing Meditation at level 6 to keep from needing sleep.
No dragon accosted them on their way to the peak, any stationed here being either juvenile or preoccupied.
I stared down at a caldera, having marched further and faster than I ever thought possible I looked back behind me and lit my smoke stick. Dragon's Breach, the territory i had fought five long years to grasp barely a glint on the horizon.
Turning back to the mountain infront of me i pulled out the one thing that enabled this whole plan, and crushed it.
[Recall crystal activated, uses: 1, time: 1:23:59:59]
Time to find out what the dragons buried.

OCOC
Part 1
Aha, welcome back good reader.
Now where was I?
Oh yes. I was enjoying my second glass of homemade Lemonade and contemplating the round of sandwiches before me.
“These…sandwiches… I have not ever eaten anything like them before,” I said as I lifted the top piece of bread with an extended index talon to see for myself what lay within. It was as the Magus said, just sliced ham of a very high quality and cheese. I was impressed to see no mould or rot in either the cheese or ham. The Magus must be very wealthy to have such fresh and fine produce.
“I don’t suppose you have Meridiana. You’ve been away for a long time, over a thousand years if I am correct?”
I nodded as I replaced the top piece of bread, withdrew my talon, picked up the triangle of two pieces of bread with contents and took a bite. My eyes flew open after a second as the English Mustard went straight through my palate like a ballista bolt and smashed into my nasal cavity, exploding as Greek Fire would do. An utterly, delightfully mildly painful sensation and taste experience.
“Oopps… sorry… that’s the mustard you are experiencing. I did warn you but perhaps I should have explained more…” mused the Magus as he observed my reaction with a curious expression.
I waved away his apology and crammed the delicious food into my mouth, devouring it in less than a few seconds.
“…mmmpphhh… no… it’s delectable … a perfect torture! A fabulous flavour enhancement plus delectable pain! Fantastic!” I said with my mouthful, spitting out some crumbs and bits of meat as I spoke. Demons are not renowned for their table manners. Ahem.
“Ahh I see… how interesting. Well then, you are going to love a lot of food we can produce these days… Vindaloo curry, Szechuan Hotpot, Wasabi… Carolina Reaper Rectum Wrecker Chili Sauce …”
I burst out laughing at that last one, dribbling some half chewed bits of sandwich from my jaws, down the front of my chest. I didn’t care, that was immensely funny. If only Senior Management knew of it… perhaps they did? Meh…
“Ha! I always suspected that Demons had a sense of humour,” said the Magus with an interested air, leaning back in his own chair as he observed my giggling.
I wiped myself up, scooping up and eating the dribbled remnants, trying to regain a little dignity once more.
“Of course we have a sense of humour. We have been dealing with humanity since you lot became self-aware tens of thousands of years ago. You semi-bald monkeys are an endless source of entertainment for us.” I sat back in my plastic chair, my tail swishing in amusement. “Show me this “hot sauce”. I must see it!” I insisted.
The Magus reached into the pocket of his pants and took out a small black glass covered device and started tapping on it. The glass lit up instantly.
“What is that?” I demanded to know. The device looked magical in nature.
“This is a phone. There is so much I have to teach you Meridiana. You are immortal and have a genius intellect so it should not take long in either case. Once I show you the basics I know you will be fine. This device lets me have the sum of human knowledge at my fingertips. Oh… I see you do not believe me. It is true. I have no reason to lie to you. We have come a long way since you were last here Meridiana. Humanity has split the atom and created weapons that can devastate entire cities from tens of thousands of miles away, we have been to the moon and back, over 5 times. We are a globally interconnected species now who can board a machine and be whisked to another continent in mere hours, all safely I may add. I can use my phone and speak instantly to another person halfway around the globe. Here, this is the Hot Sauce you are interested in…” he said as he looked up and back at me, passing over the device.
I took it from his soft hands. He had not done any physical work in over a decade. There were no callouses present that a labourer, tradesman or peasant would have on their hands, just smooth supple pale skin. The hands of a scholar I noted.
The device or ‘phone’ had a picture now displayed on the glass. The picture was of a small bottle of sauce but I couldn’t read the writing.
“I can understand your language Magus but I am unable to read it,” I said as I looked at the picture.
“Oh but of course! A minor detail I have overlooked. The last language you were familiar with was Latin, correct?”
I nodded still staring at the phone in my hands. Such a remarkable device yet he treated it so casually. And he had forgotten a minor detail. This was indeed welcome news. What else had he missed I wondered? No matter, such things would reveal themselves in due course.
“Umm… let me see now… you are capable of reading another person’s thoughts right? That’s in your power set yes?”
My eyes shot up to his.
“How did you know…”
He held his hand to stop me from speaking further, then sighed for a moment, rubbed his chin before considering his next words.
“Most people these days don’t know, or to be honest, don’t care about your kinds existence. In fact, demons have become part of human entertainment. You are seen as figures of myth and fantasy. While I know that some demons still occasionally get through the void, usually through cracks in reality and often cause mayhem here, it is quite rare these days to see that happen. On the whole I think that the majority of those that do get here see what the world is like and decide to keep their heads down and blend into human society. I think that they actually like it here and that does not surprise me at all. Anyway… the thing is… and you aren’t going to like this… is your power set, or what most people believe it to be, was codified in a game some fifty odd years ago. A man who created the game did a lot of research on all demons, putting it all that into a book which a game could be played from. Your kind became fantasy monsters for people to kill in their imaginations by rolling dice to determine the outcome.”
I sat with my jaw gaping wider as he spoke. We had become figures of entertainment? No longer inspiring fear and terror into humanity? I began to grow enraged. My eyes started to blaze with infernal heat.
“CALM YOURSELF!”
The Magus invoked his power and will upon me, seeing my wrath was beginning to engulf me. I was completely under his control despite his promise of not doing that. Interesting and also a touch arousing. I swallowed nervously, bowed my head in a sign of docility and obedience.
He sighed as my fury dissipated.
“I am sorry for that but I can’t afford to have you going berserk in my garage. You are a genius Meridiana, I know you are. You are a demon who has been imprisoned for over a thousand years and you have a lot to catch up on but losing your temper will not help you... at all. Please, do not make me do that again but also be aware that if you lose control, I will bend you to my will, totally. I want you to use your mind Meridiana, please, try and think first before reacting. It is not my intent to control you. A free agent is far more effective than a mindless automaton drone. Besides, I don’t want to have to replace furniture or clean up the mess. In addition, I would be fucking furious with you if you damaged the car as my insurance premiums will rocket if that happens.”
The look he gave me was visceral, he meant every word he said. Fascinating.
“Yes Magus,” I said meekly, not knowing what the car or insurance premiums were. I considered it best to play along and discover what this Magus required of me.
More so, I had not felt power like that since I last came before a demon prince, like the one who cast my into my cell for a millennia. Who is this man? He seemed calm now, so I returned to eating the rest of the gourmet bread snack also known as the sandwich.
“Anyway… as I was saying… we are aware of demonic powers. I was going to ask if you could read my mind. I can allow that. Your power of Extrasensory Perception as we call it, should be sufficient enough for you to learn how to read English, which is one of the more common languages spoken and used in the world today. I will allow this as it would take far too long to teach you to read. And time is of the essence here.”
I swallowed my last mouthful of food after savouring the exquisite pain of the mustard once more.
“I agree, I will do this Magus. And if that sauce is anything to go by… painful going in and coming out! Marvellous! Humanity had almost reached a level of infernal punishment it appears,” I said as I returned my attention to the Magus with a coquettish little smile. “I must say that this is a novel use of the power that you seek me to use. To learn rather than use it to gain knowledge and thus power over you. You are being naïve Magus. How do you know I will not misuse my ability, ferret out your secrets to hurt you with?”
He gave me a cold laugh that actually made me pause for a moment.
“Because really I don’t give a fuck about myself Meridiana. What you see is the husk of a man. I have nothing except my knowledge, my money, this house, its contents and car. All meaningless items in the grand scheme of things. My life blew apart two years ago. Nothing you could do would hurt me because I have gone beyond feeling pain. I knew that you would try and betray me, hurt me, try to drag me into hell to torment me for eternity. Don’t bother, I’m already there.”
I stared deep into his eyes.
They were dead deep down inside.
This was a man who smiled and felt some amusement yet that was the body and the mind going through reactions and reflexes from a lifetime of experiences. Simply put there was no joyousness in him, no spark of life.
Whatever joy this man had felt had been burned out of his soul. I would know, I had done it to countless humans before. That he was still functional showed he possessed an incredible amount of willpower and inner fortitude. Most mortals would either have taken their own lives by now or be snivelling, dribbling wrecks, covered in their own filth, rocking and crying hysterically in the corner of the room until they died, wasting away from the void that ate them from within.
I sat back, momentarily stunned. My Magus was like a living Lemure, the first form a damned soul takes when they appear in hell. Soulless, formless, blobs of creatures which had no spark left within, just the memory of the guilt, rage and sorrow to torment them for eternity. What had happened to extinguish this man’s spark I wondered? And why does he require my servitude? The most interesting aspect of his demeanour was that I did not have to corrupt him at all, he is already writhing in inner torment. My attitude shifted once more. I will now view this Magus as a Demon Prince, one of power, cunning and potential cruelty. That I can work with.
“Shall we begin? I will enter your mind to learn how to read as you command Magus, nothing more,” I said as I sat forward giving him a reassuring smile.
“Needs must as the devil drives,” he muttered to himself. I raised my eyebrow at that phrase, most curious.
He held out his hand to me which I took gently in mine. I made sure my talons were withdrawn and looked down at his pale hand in my dark ruddy bronzed one. It was small in comparison yet I could feel the power within. This Magus was not one to be manipulated without consequences.
“We shall begin, my mind to your mind Magus,” I said quietly as I concentrated on forming the mental bridge between our consciousnesses.
In my minds eye I saw the Magus’ mind. An imposing mighty fortress of grey stone with a small sally port door open next to the main portcullis that was firmly shut. I stepped cautiously in, noting the murder holes above me and sensing the immediate danger of imminent harm if the Magus chose to attack me within his mental fortress.
I could go no further and dared not reach out to test his defences. A small book appeared in the air in front of me. This would be the conduit for the transfer of knowledge. I took the book in my hands cautiously, pressed to my forehead and began to absorb the knowledge it contained.
A couple of moments later I was done. I looked back at the cover of the book and now could read it, “Teach Your Child How to Read”. I laughed out aloud. My Magus was being a tease, cheeky little swine! I let go of the children’s reading primer and stepped back outside, ending the link.
“Very amusing Magus. For one who has no spark, you still appear to appreciate a joke.”
“Yeah… some things I just do, habit I suppose?” He shrugged and sat back again. “I appreciate your restraint Meridiana. I know you could have tried to assault me from within, our minds and wills becoming locked in conflict but you choose not to attack me. Why?”
“The answer is simple Magus, I wish to stay here… with you. You have made it abundantly clear that I am bound to you. How, I do not know. In any case, you freed me from eternal boredom. For that alone I am grateful. Yes, we demons can feel emotions such as gratitude surprisingly enough. In my past all who summoned me demanded my servitude and compliance, you asked first. That is novel. I like new things as you seem to understand. So I adhered to your request. And now I can read English. What a versatile language it is! And confusing as well…”
“Yeah, you’ll get that. English is weird but it works. I still have trouble with where and were when I write. And I’m a native born speaker! Anyway, I think it is time I should you around your new home Meridiana. However, I think you will have to shift your form from it’s current state. You’re just too tall for the doorways and your wings are huge.”
“Oh yes… of course…how did...oh right… you already knew…ha! That you know so much about me and my powers is… liberating in a way. I shall be interested to see what else you think you know,” I said as I stood up and focused my power of Shape Alteration, morphing into my other true form, that of a coffee dark skinned, black eyed human female with long black flowing tresses that went well past my shoulders. My breasts were ample, hips curvaceously wide, legs long and shapely, cheek bones high and lips pouty. I was totally naked. My height was now a modest 5’6” in the old measurement, perfect for my generous proportions.
The Magus raised an eyebrow, giving me an appraising glance that hinted that his base urges still were functional. The hind brain and little head still seemed to worked within him. I smiled demurely back at him.
“Will this form be sufficient?” I said as I stretched my arms above my shoulders, thrusting my chest out provocatively then pirouetting for him, showing my well-rounded ass.
“Is that your mother’s original form? Lilith?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
“My, I am impressed at your scholarly knowledge Magus. No, my mother is Naamah, not Lilith. I would be Lilium if Lilith was my mother. Let me test you now, who is my father?”
“Cain as far as the bible says.”
“Well done!” I clapped my hands with a little peep of true amusement. Even though my Magus is a mortal, he is a learned one and I appreciate intelligence in a being.
“I now have to ask you something Meridiana, a cosmological question, just for my own curiosity. Your origins are what we historians refer to as the Judo-Christian stream of culture and religion. Yet there are dozens of human cultures with differing belief systems, featuring gods, demons, angels, divine beings and such. Do they exist in conjunction with your kind or are they merely different manifestations of the same thing?”
My eyes widened once more. Firstly because my naked form was not driving the Magus into a slathering lustful man who’s penis should be bulging with longing by now, aching to be inside me. More so though, he was truly interested in the realms beyond. Incredible! His discipline and mental control is something to be wary of.
“Truthfully, we are but one realm amongst a myriad of others. I know of the ones you speak of. We stay out of each other’s… territory to use a euphemism. The Deva and Rakshasa from the Hindu pantheon stay within their boundaries as do Oni from the lands of Nippon and so on,” I said as I folded my arms over my tits and pouted at his lack of sexual enthusiasm.
He nodded as he stood up.
“I knew it! But also Sir Terry Pratchett was right…maybe? My question now is… did we create you with our thoughts. Was human belief the catalyst that brought your kind into existence? Chicken and egg…” he said musing to himself as he walked over to one of the shelves, removing a large white fluffy robe then coming back to hand it to me.
“What has poultry got to do with anything? And who is this knight you speak of that deduced the multiple realms that lay beyond the universe” I said in a mildly aggrieved tone as I snatched the soft robe from his hand. It was made from the finest cotton weave I had seen, far higher quality from anything that could come from looms of Egypt. I put it on seeing how my nudity was not having the effect I wanted. What bliss it was as I relished the supple softness of the material against my skin. My Magus must have paid a fortune for such a garment.
“I’ll explain later. Come, this way,” he said gesturing to a small flight of tiled stairs that were in a corner of the basement garage.
I sniffed haughtily and walked forwards, taking the lead.
Walking up the two dozen or so steps, I came out into a marvel of lavishness and luxury.
Stunning polished white ceramic tiles made up the floor. Ahead oh me was a superbly created and polished, reddish granite top bench, full of sparking crystals that refracted the light when it hit the surface. I sensed this was a food preparation area, a kitchen but of the likes that I had never seen before. A metal spigot, presumable for water stood above two deep looking metal troughs in the centre of the stone bench. A few bowls and plates sat unwashed in the trough. I saw glass faced cabinets that held within more crockery and glassware that Gerbert ever had, even when he was Pope! Other cabinets held bottles of…something? I was not close enough to read the labels.
Another large, tall, double doored metal box stood opposite the stair doorway. The Magus saw me staring at it.
“That’s the fridge.”
“What?”
“The refrigerator. It is where we store food and drink to keep it cold and fresh for preservation.”
He walked over to the metal box and opened the door to show me it’s contents.
Inside was a cornucopia of jars, bottles, containers filled with food and drink. A light illuminated the interior as the door opened.
“Such powerful sorcery Magus!”
“No Meridiana, just technology. It is merely a machine, not magical at all, although in a way I suppose it is to you. Heh… a very wise man once said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”. Sir Arthur was right of course.”
I nodded in wordless agreement. That was profound wisdom indeed. And yet another knight who exceeded their station through knowledge. So much to learn!
“Would you like a beer? I need one I think,” said the Magus as he bent down to open another compartment of his food storage machine.
“Beer? You mean Ale?”
“Hmm… I don’t have any IPA’s, just lagers. Try this and see if you like it,” he said as he withdrew two small brown glass bottles from the lower compartment. The Magus placed them on the bench, took out a small tool from a sliding drawer and popped the metal bottle tops off with a swift motion. He passed me the icy cold bottle then took up his own and toasted me.
“Here is to our partnership Meridiana.”
The Magus tipped his bottle in a small salute to me then drank deeply of his… beer.
Returning the gesture, I then took a hesitant sip. It was cold like the lower levels of hell, slightly bitter yet oh so crisp and refreshing. Totally different to the Lemonade I had just drank and very unlike ales I had consumed in the past. I swallowed and enjoyed the sensation.
“A partnership hmm? Most interesting Magus,” I said as I looked further around the space I was in.
The room was like a lords hall, one long space that measured at least 66 feet in length, maybe more, it was hard to tell with a cursory glance. The width was probably 18 to 20 feet. To my right was a large well made table surround by half a dozen plushily upholstered leather chairs and beyond that a space where there were luxurious divans and more chairs.
What excited me the most though were the shelves filled with books that bordered an entire wall. My mouth opened at the sight of so much knowledge! In front of the large table, surrounded in what must be an emperors ransom in the clearest pure glass was a little open air atrium, filled with flowing plants, creeping vines and small fruit trees as well as a small fountain in the shape of the head of a childlike Dionisius, with water spewing from his mouth, splashing into a little stone pond in front of its face.
“Do you worship the god of wine?” I asked intrigued as I gazed at the stone head wreathed in grapes and vines.
“Huh? No. That was a leftover from the previous owner’s bad taste. I couldn’t be bothered to get rid of it as it would have cost a fortune to do so so I’m stuck with the little bastard. I keep the fountain on because it stopped the bloody mosquitos from breeding in the pond,” he muttered darkly.
Fascinating!
“You astonish me Magus. You live in an opulent palace, surrounded by glass, granite and marble yet you complain about the cost of removing the effigy of a dead god… how intriguing.”
I shook my head. So much to take in all at once. It was a heady rush. He shrugged as though this was nothing to be proud of, merely something he lived in.
The pristine white tiles felt cold upon my bare feet as I wandered over to the bookcases. In front of me was a blue…velvet? … couch piled with colourful cushions. That would be my seat of power I decided.
Behind the couch was another huge set of windows, framed in dark burnished metal and obscured by a gauze curtain. To each side, pulled back, were two more heavier curtains made of another ever so finely crafted fabric. On the floor was a large carpet that had the look of one that had come from the inner steppes of Asia. I knew of these as there were a highly prized item in Gerbert’s day, each costing a small fortune in gold.
I turned and stared at all the books lining the shelves, marvelling at this priceless horde of knowledge. Some of the books were tall and large while others were small enough to fit into the palm of your hand. I could now read the titles that were clearly written in the most precise calligraphy across the spine of each book. So much to read!
I took my ease upon the wonderfully comfortable blue divan, relaxing amidst the plush silk and fluffy cushions and gazed back at my Magus who took his seat in a black leather clad… throne?... that swivelled on a pivot! Astounding!
“So my Magus…what do you intend of our partnership? To be honest, and that’s rare coming from a demon, I am still confused as to why you require me? You seem uninterested in the carnal exquisite pleasures I can bestow upon you, you are already richer than my last master… and he was a Papal Prince! So what is it then?”
He leaned forward, placing his half-drunk bottle of beer on a low level table that separated our seats. Sitting back he, steepled his fingers into a pyramid of evil contemplation as he calmly regarded me.
“Oh… that’s quite simple and from what I know of your abilities and powers, it will be super easy, barely an inconvenience for you. What I want is for you to kill some people who deserve an express ticket to hell. Their rotten souls are destined for your realm anyway, you just get them there, painfully, ahead of schedule.”
My eyes widened, lighting up with both surprise and savagely gleeful delight as this was turning out to be the most extremely interesting summons I have ever had as I took another sip of my beer.
How supremely fascinating indeed.

Part 1
​
Aha, welcome back good reader.
Now where was I?
Oh yes. I was enjoying my second glass of homemade Lemonade and contemplating the round of sandwiches before me.
“These…sandwiches… I have not ever eaten anything like them before,” I said as I lifted the top piece of bread with an extended index talon to see for myself what lay within. It was as the Magus said, just sliced ham of a very high quality and cheese. I was impressed to see no mould or rot in either the cheese or ham. The Magus must be very wealthy to have such fresh and fine produce.
“I don’t suppose you have Meridiana. You’ve been away for a long time, over a thousand years if I am correct?”
I nodded as I replaced the top piece of bread, withdrew my talon, picked up the triangle of two pieces of bread with contents and took a bite. My eyes flew open after a second as the English Mustard went straight through my palate like a ballista bolt and smashed into my nasal cavity, exploding as Greek Fire would do. An utterly, delightfully mildly painful sensation and taste experience.
“Oopps… sorry… that’s the mustard you are experiencing. I did warn you but perhaps I should have explained more…” mused the Magus as he observed my reaction with a curious expression.
I waved away his apology and crammed the delicious food into my mouth, devouring it in less than a few seconds.
“…mmmpphhh… no… it’s delectable … a perfect torture! A fabulous flavour enhancement plus delectable pain! Fantastic!” I said with my mouthful, spitting out some crumbs and bits of meat as I spoke. Demons are not renowned for their table manners. Ahem.
“Ahh I see… how interesting. Well then, you are going to love a lot of food we can produce these days… Vindaloo curry, Szechuan Hotpot, Wasabi… Carolina Reaper Rectum Wrecker Chili Sauce …”
I burst out laughing at that last one, dribbling some half chewed bits of sandwich from my jaws, down the front of my chest. I didn’t care, that was immensely funny. If only Senior Management knew of it… perhaps they did? Meh…
“Ha! I always suspected that Demons had a sense of humour,” said the Magus with an interested air, leaning back in his own chair as he observed my giggling.
I wiped myself up, scooping up and eating the dribbled remnants, trying to regain a little dignity once more.
“Of course we have a sense of humour. We have been dealing with humanity since you lot became self-aware tens of thousands of years ago. You semi-bald monkeys are an endless source of entertainment for us.” I sat back in my plastic chair, my tail swishing in amusement. “Show me this “hot sauce”. I must see it!” I insisted.
The Magus reached into the pocket of his pants and took out a small black glass covered device and started tapping on it. The glass lit up instantly.
“What is that?” I demanded to know. The device looked magical in nature.
“This is a phone. There is so much I have to teach you Meridiana. You are immortal and have a genius intellect so it should not take long in either case. Once I show you the basics I know you will be fine. This device lets me have the sum of human knowledge at my fingertips. Oh… I see you do not believe me. It is true. I have no reason to lie to you. We have come a long way since you were last here Meridiana. Humanity has split the atom and created weapons that can devastate entire cities from tens of thousands of miles away, we have been to the moon and back, over 5 times. We are a globally interconnected species now who can board a machine and be whisked to another continent in mere hours, all safely I may add. I can use my phone and speak instantly to another person halfway around the globe. Here, this is the Hot Sauce you are interested in…” he said as he looked up and back at me, passing over the device.
I took it from his soft hands. He had not done any physical work in over a decade. There were no callouses present that a labourer, tradesman or peasant would have on their hands, just smooth supple pale skin. The hands of a scholar I noted.
The device or ‘phone’ had a picture now displayed on the glass. The picture was of a small bottle of sauce but I couldn’t read the writing.
“I can understand your language Magus but I am unable to read it,” I said as I looked at the picture.
“Oh but of course! A minor detail I have overlooked. The last language you were familiar with was Latin, correct?”
I nodded still staring at the phone in my hands. Such a remarkable device yet he treated it so casually. And he had forgotten a minor detail. This was indeed welcome news. What else had he missed I wondered? No matter, such things would reveal themselves in due course.
“Umm… let me see now… you are capable of reading another person’s thoughts right? That’s in your power set yes?”
My eyes shot up to his.
“How did you know…”
He held his hand to stop me from speaking further, then sighed for a moment, rubbed his chin before considering his next words.
“Most people these days don’t know, or to be honest, don’t care about your kinds existence. In fact, demons have become part of human entertainment. You are seen as figures of myth and fantasy. While I know that some demons still occasionally get through the void, usually through cracks in reality and often cause mayhem here, it is quite rare these days to see that happen. On the whole I think that the majority of those that do get here see what the world is like and decide to keep their heads down and blend into human society. I think that they actually like it here and that does not surprise me at all. Anyway… the thing is… and you aren’t going to like this… is your power set, or what most people believe it to be, was codified in a game some fifty odd years ago. A man who created the game did a lot of research on all demons, putting it all that into a book which a game could be played from. Your kind became fantasy monsters for people to kill in their imaginations by rolling dice to determine the outcome.”
I sat with my jaw gaping wider as he spoke. We had become figures of entertainment? No longer inspiring fear and terror into humanity? I began to grow enraged. My eyes started to blaze with infernal heat.
“CALM YOURSELF!”
The Magus invoked his power and will upon me, seeing my wrath was beginning to engulf me. I was completely under his control despite his promise of not doing that. Interesting and also a touch arousing. I swallowed nervously, bowed my head in a sign of docility and obedience.
He sighed as my fury dissipated.
“I am sorry for that but I can’t afford to have you going berserk in my garage. You are a genius Meridiana, I know you are. You are a demon who has been imprisoned for over a thousand years and you have a lot to catch up on but losing your temper will not help you... at all. Please, do not make me do that again but also be aware that if you lose control, I will bend you to my will, totally. I want you to use your mind Meridiana, please, try and think first before reacting. It is not my intent to control you. A free agent is far more effective than a mindless automaton drone. Besides, I don’t want to have to replace furniture or clean up the mess. In addition, I would be fucking furious with you if you damaged the car as my insurance premiums will rocket if that happens.”
The look he gave me was visceral, he meant every word he said. Fascinating.
“Yes Magus,” I said meekly, not knowing what the car or insurance premiums were. I considered it best to play along and discover what this Magus required of me.
More so, I had not felt power like that since I last came before a demon prince, like the one who cast my into my cell for a millennia. Who is this man? He seemed calm now, so I returned to eating the rest of the gourmet bread snack also known as the sandwich.
“Anyway… as I was saying… we are aware of demonic powers. I was going to ask if you could read my mind. I can allow that. Your power of Extrasensory Perception as we call it, should be sufficient enough for you to learn how to read English, which is one of the more common languages spoken and used in the world today. I will allow this as it would take far too long to teach you to read. And time is of the essence here.”
I swallowed my last mouthful of food after savouring the exquisite pain of the mustard once more.
“I agree, I will do this Magus. And if that sauce is anything to go by… painful going in and coming out! Marvellous! Humanity had almost reached a level of infernal punishment it appears,” I said as I returned my attention to the Magus with a coquettish little smile. “I must say that this is a novel use of the power that you seek me to use. To learn rather than use it to gain knowledge and thus power over you. You are being naïve Magus. How do you know I will not misuse my ability, ferret out your secrets to hurt you with?”
He gave me a cold laugh that actually made me pause for a moment.
“Because really I don’t give a fuck about myself Meridiana. What you see is the husk of a man. I have nothing except my knowledge, my money, this house, its contents and car. All meaningless items in the grand scheme of things. My life blew apart two years ago. Nothing you could do would hurt me because I have gone beyond feeling pain. I knew that you would try and betray me, hurt me, try to drag me into hell to torment me for eternity. Don’t bother, I’m already there.”
I stared deep into his eyes.
They were dead deep down inside.
This was a man who smiled and felt some amusement yet that was the body and the mind going through reactions and reflexes from a lifetime of experiences. Simply put there was no joyousness in him, no spark of life.
Whatever joy this man had felt had been burned out of his soul. I would know, I had done it to countless humans before. That he was still functional showed he possessed an incredible amount of willpower and inner fortitude. Most mortals would either have taken their own lives by now or be snivelling, dribbling wrecks, covered in their own filth, rocking and crying hysterically in the corner of the room until they died, wasting away from the void that ate them from within.
I sat back, momentarily stunned. My Magus was like a living Lemure, the first form a damned soul takes when they appear in hell. Soulless, formless, blobs of creatures which had no spark left within, just the memory of the guilt, rage and sorrow to torment them for eternity. What had happened to extinguish this man’s spark I wondered? And why does he require my servitude? The most interesting aspect of his demeanour was that I did not have to corrupt him at all, he is already writhing in inner torment. My attitude shifted once more. I will now view this Magus as a Demon Prince, one of power, cunning and potential cruelty. That I can work with.
“Shall we begin? I will enter your mind to learn how to read as you command Magus, nothing more,” I said as I sat forward giving him a reassuring smile.
“Needs must as the devil drives,” he muttered to himself. I raised my eyebrow at that phrase, most curious.
He held out his hand to me which I took gently in mine. I made sure my talons were withdrawn and looked down at his pale hand in my dark ruddy bronzed one. It was small in comparison yet I could feel the power within. This Magus was not one to be manipulated without consequences.
“We shall begin, my mind to your mind Magus,” I said quietly as I concentrated on forming the mental bridge between our consciousnesses.
In my minds eye I saw the Magus’ mind. An imposing mighty fortress of grey stone with a small sally port door open next to the main portcullis that was firmly shut. I stepped cautiously in, noting the murder holes above me and sensing the immediate danger of imminent harm if the Magus chose to attack me within his mental fortress.
I could go no further and dared not reach out to test his defences. A small book appeared in the air in front of me. This would be the conduit for the transfer of knowledge. I took the book in my hands cautiously, pressed to my forehead and began to absorb the knowledge it contained.
A couple of moments later I was done. I looked back at the cover of the book and now could read it, “Teach Your Child How to Read”. I laughed out aloud. My Magus was being a tease, cheeky little swine! I let go of the children’s reading primer and stepped back outside, ending the link.
“Very amusing Magus. For one who has no spark, you still appear to appreciate a joke.”
“Yeah… some things I just do, habit I suppose?” He shrugged and sat back again. “I appreciate your restraint Meridiana. I know you could have tried to assault me from within, our minds and wills becoming locked in conflict but you choose not to attack me. Why?”
“The answer is simple Magus, I wish to stay here… with you. You have made it abundantly clear that I am bound to you. How, I do not know. In any case, you freed me from eternal boredom. For that alone I am grateful. Yes, we demons can feel emotions such as gratitude surprisingly enough. In my past all who summoned me demanded my servitude and compliance, you asked first. That is novel. I like new things as you seem to understand. So I adhered to your request. And now I can read English. What a versatile language it is! And confusing as well…”
“Yeah, you’ll get that. English is weird but it works. I still have trouble with where and were when I write. And I’m a native born speaker! Anyway, I think it is time I should you around your new home Meridiana. However, I think you will have to shift your form from it’s current state. You’re just too tall for the doorways and your wings are huge.”
“Oh yes… of course…how did...oh right… you already knew…ha! That you know so much about me and my powers is… liberating in a way. I shall be interested to see what else you think you know,” I said as I stood up and focused my power of Shape Alteration, morphing into my other true form, that of a dark skinned, black eyed human female with long midnight flowing tresses that went well past my shoulders. My breasts were ample, hips curvaceously wide, legs long and shapely, cheek bones high and lips pouty. I was totally naked. My height was now a modest 5’6” in the old measurement, perfect for my generous proportions.
The Magus raised an eyebrow, giving me an appraising glance that hinted that his base urges still were functional. The hind brain and little head still seemed to worked within him. I smiled demurely back at him.
“Will this form be sufficient?” I said as I stretched my arms above my shoulders, thrusting my chest out provocatively then pirouetting for him, showing my well-rounded ass.
“Is that your mother’s original form? Lilith?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
“My, I am impressed at your scholarly knowledge Magus. No, my mother is Naamah, not Lilith. I would be Lilium if Lilith was my mother. Let me test you now, who is my father?”
“Cain as far as the bible says.”
“Well done!” I clapped my hands with a little peep of true amusement. Even though my Magus is a mortal, he is a learned one and I appreciate intelligence in a being.
“I now have to ask you something Meridiana, a cosmological question, just for my own curiosity. Your origins are what we historians refer to as the Judo-Christian stream of culture and religion. Yet there are dozens of human cultures with differing belief systems, featuring gods, demons, angels, divine beings and such. Do they exist in conjunction with your kind or are they merely different manifestations of the same thing?”
My eyes widened once more. Firstly because my naked form was not driving the Magus into a slathering lustful man who’s penis should be bulging with longing by now, aching to be inside me. More so though, he was truly interested in the realms beyond. Incredible! His discipline and mental control is something to be wary of.
“Truthfully, we are but one realm amongst a myriad of others. I know of the ones you speak of. We stay out of each other’s… territory to use a euphemism. The Deva and Rakshasa from the Hindu pantheon stay within their boundaries as do Oni from the lands of Nippon and so on,” I said as I folded my arms over my tits and pouted at his lack of sexual enthusiasm.
He nodded as he stood up.
“I knew it! But also Sir Terry Pratchett was right…maybe? My question now is… did we create you with our thoughts. Was human belief the catalyst that brought your kind into existence? Chicken and egg…” he said musing to himself as he walked over to one of the shelves, removing a large white fluffy robe then coming back to hand it to me.
“What has poultry got to do with anything? And who is this knight you speak of that deduced the multiple realms that lay beyond the universe” I said in a mildly aggrieved tone as I snatched the soft robe from his hand. It was made from the finest cotton weave I had seen, far higher quality from anything that could come from looms of Egypt. I put it on seeing how my nudity was not having the effect I wanted. What bliss it was as I relished the supple softness of the material against my skin. My Magus must have paid a fortune for such a garment.
“I’ll explain later. Come, this way,” he said gesturing to a small flight of tiled stairs that were in a corner of the basement garage.
I sniffed haughtily and walked forwards, taking the lead.
Walking up the two dozen or so steps, I came out into a marvel of lavishness and luxury.
Stunning polished white ceramic tiles made up the floor. Ahead oh me was a superbly created and polished, reddish granite top bench, full of sparking crystals that refracted the light when it hit the surface. I sensed this was a food preparation area, a kitchen but of the likes that I had never seen before. A metal spigot, presumable for water stood above two deep looking metal troughs in the centre of the stone bench. A few bowls and plates sat unwashed in the trough. I saw glass faced cabinets that held within more crockery and glassware that Gerbert ever had, even when he was Pope! Other cabinets held bottles of…something? I was not close enough to read the labels.
Another large, tall, double doored metal box stood opposite the stair doorway. The Magus saw me staring at it.
“That’s the fridge.”
“What?”
“The refrigerator. It is where we store food and drink to keep it cold and fresh for preservation.”
He walked over to the metal box and opened the door to show me it’s contents.
Inside was a cornucopia of jars, bottles, containers filled with food and drink. A light illuminated the interior as the door opened.
“Such powerful sorcery Magus!”
“No Meridiana, just technology. It is merely a machine, not magical at all, although in a way I suppose it is to you. Heh… a very wise man once said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”. Sir Arthur was right of course.”
I nodded in wordless agreement. That was profound wisdom indeed. And yet another knight who exceeded their station through knowledge. So much to learn!
“Would you like a beer? I need one I think,” said the Magus as he bent down to open another compartment of his food storage machine.
“Beer? You mean Ale?”
“Hmm… I don’t have any IPA’s, just lagers. Try this and see if you like it,” he said as he withdrew two small brown glass bottles from the lower compartment. The Magus placed them on the bench, took out a small tool from a sliding drawer and popped the metal bottle tops off with a swift motion. He passed me the icy cold bottle then took up his own and toasted me.
“Here is to our partnership Meridiana.”
The Magus tipped his bottle in a small salute to me then drank deeply of his… beer.
Returning the gesture, I then took a hesitant sip. It was cold like the lower levels of hell, slightly bitter yet oh so crisp and refreshing. Totally different to the Lemonade I had just drank and very unlike ales I had consumed in the past. I swallowed and enjoyed the sensation.
“A partnership hmm? Most interesting Magus,” I said as I looked further around the space I was in.
The room was like a lords hall, one long space that measured at least 66 feet in length, maybe more, it was hard to tell with a cursory glance. The width was probably 18 to 20 feet. To my right was a large well made table surround by half a dozen plushily upholstered leather chairs and beyond that a space where there were luxurious divans and more chairs.
What excited me the most though were the shelves filled with books that bordered an entire wall. My mouth opened at the sight of so much knowledge! In front of the large table, surrounded in what must be an emperors ransom in the clearest pure glass was a little open air atrium, filled with flowing plants, creeping vines and small fruit trees as well as a small fountain in the shape of the head of a childlike Dionisius, with water spewing from his mouth, splashing into a little stone pond in front of its face.
“Do you worship the god of wine?” I asked intrigued as I gazed at the stone head wreathed in grapes and vines.
“Huh? No. That was a leftover from the previous owner’s bad taste. I couldn’t be bothered to get rid of it as it would have cost a fortune to do so so I’m stuck with the little bastard. I keep the fountain on because it stopped the bloody mosquitos from breeding in the pond,” he muttered darkly.
Fascinating!
“You astonish me Magus. You live in an opulent palace, surrounded by glass, granite and marble yet you complain about the cost of removing the effigy of a dead god… how intriguing.”
I shook my head. So much to take in all at once. It was a heady rush. He shrugged as though this was nothing to be proud of, merely something he lived in.
The pristine white tiles felt cold upon my bare feet as I wandered over to the bookcases. In front of me was a blue…velvet? … couch piled with colourful cushions. That would be my seat of power I decided.
Behind the couch was another huge set of windows, framed in dark burnished metal and obscured by a gauze curtain. To each side, pulled back, were two more heavier curtains made of another ever so finely crafted fabric. On the floor was a large carpet that had the look of one that had come from the inner steppes of Asia. I knew of these as there were a highly prized item in Gerbert’s day, each costing a small fortune in gold.
I turned and stared at all the books lining the shelves, marvelling at this priceless horde of knowledge. Some of the books were tall and large while others were small enough to fit into the palm of your hand. I could now read the titles that were clearly written in the most precise calligraphy across the spine of each book. So much to read!
I took my ease upon the wonderfully comfortable blue divan, relaxing amidst the plush silk and fluffy cushions and gazed back at my Magus who took his seat in a black leather clad… throne?... that swivelled on a pivot! Astounding!
“So my Magus…what do you intend of our partnership? To be honest, and that’s rare coming from a demon, I am still confused as to what you require of me? You seem uninterested in the carnal exquisite pleasures I can bestow upon you, you are already richer than my last master… and he was a Papal Prince! So what is it then?”
He leaned forward, placing his half-drunk bottle of beer on a low level table that separated our seats. Sitting back he, steepled his fingers into a pyramid of evil contemplation as he calmly regarded me.
“Oh… that’s quite simple and from what I know of your abilities and powers, it will be super easy, barely an inconvenience for you. What I want is for you to kill some people who deserve an express ticket to hell. Their rotten souls are destined for your realm anyway, you just get them there, painfully, ahead of schedule.”
My eyes widened, lighting up with both surprise and savagely gleeful delight as this was turning out to be the most extremely interesting summons I have ever had as I took another sip of my beer.
How supremely fascinating indeed.

Smoke billows up Wafting through the air The scent of sizzling meat It's BBQ time, let's share
Ribs, brisket, and chicken wings All lined up on the grill A bit of sweet and spicy sauce My taste buds, they can't keep still
Friends and family gather 'round The sun begins to set Laughter, good food, and memories This BBQ, we won't forget

They come back every year. I can recall multiple points in my childhood where I heard them honking in the wee hours of the morning, causing calamities that woke me up far earlier than I would’ve preferred. Every single winter they return, but this year has been different.
Geese are terrible people, and they’re actually not even people, which makes them even worse. One core, traumatic memory of being chased down by one as a child and sobbing hysterically was all it took for me to develop a lifelong distrust of the feathery demons. It seems so needlessly cruel to have what is essentially a long-necked chicken have the temperament of a damn lycanthrope. Their beady little black eyes seem like bottomless pits of spite, and the fact they actually have teeth on their tongues is something I don’t think I can ever forgive God for.
My father still lives in my childhood home, but me and my siblings are all moved out. He’s older now and has some difficulties with mobility so I stop by pretty often to help out where I can. Ever since mom passed, he’s been there alone with his faithful Labrador retriever; Brody, and although he greatly values his independence it’s getting more and more difficult for him to live alone as the years go on.
Me and my older brother: Eric routinely switch-off helping him with tasks around the house that may be a risk to him. Typically, it’s things like cleaning out the gutters, trimming tree branches and simple maintenance on his vehicles, mostly just things I’d rather a 73-year-old man not try and do alone.
Last week I went out to help him with some chores. My brother Eric was supposed to meet my there but he got roped in to his kids’ parent-teacher conferences so I met dad alone. It was just past noon when I met dad out at his house. He and I grilled some burgers and chatted about things for a while before we began on the tasks.
A recent snowfall had damaged some of the trees on the back of his property, and so he wanted to chop them down before they fell onto his shed. He and I grabbed some handsaws and an axe and began systemically pruning the aspens.
We soon determined there were about 3 trees total which we needed to remove. I climbed the ladder and began sawing off some of the upper branches as dad steadied it from down below. Things were going well until a sudden familiar and foreboding ruckus emerged in the distance. I lowered the chainsaw and killed the motor as I spied the flock soar overhead and land in the back pasture.
“Damn birds been ruining that back field. More goose shit than grass back there at this point.” Dad spat as he said it, clearly annoyed by the return of the unwelcome visitors.
“You need some scarecrows or something.” I replied.
“I tried that, damn things have no fear of people anymore though so it didn’t do a damn thing.”
I suppose it’s also important to mention that we live in Canada, and the Canadian goose is our national bird. INB4 comments saying how you should shoot them which unfortunately is not an option. Not only because firearms are severely restricted here, but also because killing a Canadian goose can get you hefty fines and potentially land you in prison.
In America, you guys have the bald eagle, which is cool. They are rare, imposing, beautiful and majestic. You remember the day you see one, and maybe even sing the national anthem or something when you do.
Geese are not like that, and I doubt anyone has ever been happy to see one. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been on my way to work when traffic suddenly just comes to a complete standstill because a few geese decided to casually meander onto the highway. We have made them a protected class, and they know it. The rest of us are lowly peasants when compared to our avian overlords, and Canada remains under the tyranny of the goose forevermore.
“Then there’s the red one.” He spoke it suddenly as though reflecting upon an old foe resurfacing.
“The red one?” Dad nodded and his eyes narrowed on me.
“You’re gonna laugh at me I know, but son, I swear I’ve seen it. A goose as tall as a man, feathers a deep blood red color” He paused and glanced out towards the trees as a gust rolled through the landscape.
“Something ain’t right with it.”
Contrary to dad’s prediction, I didn’t laugh: I didn’t know how to react. I thought he was just messing with me, but there was a deadly serious cadence in his voice. It probably sounds ridiculous to anyone reading, but something about the sincerity in his voice made me take pause.
My father is not a guy that scares easy. Never seen him shed a tear, and never seen him back down from an altercation. A man as stubborn as he is stalwart, and making up tales was never something he seemed particularly good at.
“How often do you see it?”
“Every once in a while… ain’t seen it for some time now, but I know it’s always out there… watching.” He let that ominous phrase just sort of hang in the air unelaborated. It still seemed a bit ridiculous, but clearly he was affected by it.
“You got a slingshot or something?” Dad shook his head down below as he stared contemptuously out at the flock. He didn’t reply, and since it seemed to be genuinely bothering him I decided to do something stupid about it. I climbed down the ladder as he glanced at me side-eyed.
“Where you goin?”
“Birdwatching.” I was already entering the tree line as I called back. A menagerie of branches and leaves split apart as I trudged my way towards them. They all continued peacefully grazing and loitering as I made my approach unseen.
I breached the other side of the tree line and stepped out into the field. The flagrant faction of fowl barely even seemed to notice my arrival. I grabbed a decent sized stick laying on the ground and sauntered out towards them.
“Hey… get outta here!” A few of them turned to look at me, but still seemed woefully unbothered by my display.
“GIT!” I shouted the words at the top of my lungs and began waving the stick back and forth. I was met with a chorus of angered honks as the gaggled fluttered into a frenzy. One by one they leapt into the air and began flying off in various directions.
One of them divebombed directly towards me, but I managed to duck aside as it flew past. Fearing their retaliation, I clutched my stick and prepared myself for battle, but thankfully they continued flying off and resuming their formation in the sky above. Seconds later they were soaring away from the property, hopefully never to return, but I knew I wasn’t that lucky or intimidating.
Once they were beyond the trees, I turned back, but something caught my eye as I turned away. On the ground where they had gathered, something was laying in the muck. I walked towards it, and I froze midstride as the macabre realization struck like thunder.
“Atta boy son, you must be a goose whisperer or something.” Dad chuckled as he and Brody approached from behind me. I just turned back and stared at him, and his expression contorted as he noticed mine.
“What is it?” I just pointed at it. Dad approached gingerly, and as he reached my side he too seemed taken aback.
“Is that what I think it is?” Dad ignored the question and moved in for a closer look. As he knelt down, he grunted and cleared his throat.
“Well, if you think it’s a severed human arm then I think you’re right.”
The two of us hurried back inside his house and dialed 911. The police showed up about an hour later and we escorted them back to where we’d found it. Not long after they had an entire array of workers, technicians and people sectioning off the area. They spent hours combing through the vicinity, and the longer it went on the worse it got.
Dad and I watched as they removed a body bag for the remains we’d found, then another, and another. In total we counted six separate bags of what we assumed were human remains. The initial search area widened to encompass a large chunk of the back field. They didn’t tell us much about it as they worked though, and so the two of us could only speculate as we watched from dad’s porch.
Eventually I was taken down to the police station as a few other cops remained with dad at his house. They interrogated me once we got to the station, and I told them pretty much everything I’ve written here. Obviously, they were skeptical, and I don’t even blame them for eying me suspiciously. Not a whole lot of it made much sense to me either, but I didn’t know what else to say to help them.
They eventually seemed to clear me of any wrongdoing and so took me back to my father’s house. They then took my father to conduct the same interview on him. It was getting late in the day by then, and although I thought about going home, I felt it was better for me to stay there and await dad’s return.
As I waited, I did some more research online. Apparently Geese- despite their aggressive tendencies and fierce attributes are mostly vegetarian. They do eat insects and fish from time to time, but usually just graze on plants. The fact that several of them had blood spackles on their down would seemingly indicate that the group had been eating the arm, and possibly the rest of the remains in the field. As far as I can tell, there’s never been any reports of geese eating humans or even scavenging on their remains.
It was nearly midnight by the time the officers ferried my father back home. He sauntered inside, clearly worn out from the bizarre day. He slumped onto the couch as the lead officer gestured me to join him outside.
“Thank you for your and your father’s cooperation today. I know this is a very odd and worrying situation, but we’re going to get to the bottom of it. Our crew may be out here for awhile while the investigation concludes, but we’ll try our best to stay out of you and your father’s way. Please feel free to call if you discover or learn anything you think we should know.” He held out his card and I nodded back. He and his partner then exited the home and made their way back to the cruiser. The rest of their team seemed to be packing it in for the night as well, so I returned to dad.
He was seated on his weathered living room chair with Brody stationed valiantly at his feet. He sipped from his whiskey glass as I went and sat on the opposing couch.
“Well… can’t say this is how I was expecting today to go.” I spoke with a chuckle and dad nodded back with an affirming grunt.
“You can say that again. Over thirty years I’ve lived on this damn property, and I’ve never seen anything like this happen.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
“Well, I’d sure hope not, geese don’t even usually eat meat apparently.” I prattled off the fact I’d read previous from Google. Dad scoffed as his head slowly swiveled side to side.
“Apparently these ones do.” He glanced silently out the living room window, and towards the back field where the grisly discovery had been made. The two of us sat in silence for a moment as we contemplated the overwhelming day.
We chatted for a few more minutes but soon decided to call it a night as we were both exhausted. Dad told me I could stay the night there and I happily obliged as I was already near unconscious on his living room couch. After wrapping myself in his spare comforter I was out, but it did not last.
The intrusive sounds of aggressive barking stirred me from a deep sleep. Suddenly I felt a cold chill seep into my bones. I stirred from slumber, shivering as a cold chill descended my spine and a fuzzy form began nuzzling against me. It was dark with only the moonlight beaming in from outside the house, but I recognized the barks and blurry outline of Brody beside me.
He began whining and licking my face franticly as my eyes struggled to adjust to the low lighting. I patted his head and back as I tried getting him to calm down, but he seemed really riled up for some reason. The couch I’d been sleeping on sat below the front window and from my vantage point I couldn’t see the front door. As I sat up, and turned to the side I froze stiff.
The front door was wide open.
With a stark fright I jolted to my feet and backed away, confused and trying desperately to adjust my eyes to the shadows and quell my racing heart. Brody continued whining and barking as he stared out into the dark night.
I found my coat and approached the door, but it showed no signs of forced entry. I could only assume my dad had been the one to open it. On tiptoes I snuck to pier out the door, but found nothing but the empty yard and night sky.
Quickly I rushed down the hall to my father’s room, but as expected he wasn’t in there. I couldn’t imagine what would possibly possess him to venture out in the middle of the night alone, but I knew it wasn’t good. As I ventured back to the front door, I felt a true dread seep into the very cortex of my being. Nothing within me wanted to go out there, but I knew I couldn’t leave my father.
The cold breeze struck my skin like needles as I stepped out and shut the door behind me. Brody was still going ballistic inside especially with the door shut, but I didn’t want him to run off and figured leaving him there was the safer option.
I scanned the area around me but saw no sign of anyone or anything. Dad’s old Chevy sat derelict on his driveway along with my Subaru, both of them untouched aside from a thin layer of snow. I thought about calling out his name, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Back on the side of the house I spied a shovel leaning against the wall and so I took it with me.
We’d gotten a bit of snow as we slept, and in the yard, I spied I clear line of footprints leading out from the door and back around the side of the house. As I followed them my feet crunched in the snow which sounded like the crashing of thunder when contrasted with the silent night. My hairs stood on end and my hands shook wildly as I clutched the shovel tight.
The footprints led directly from the front of the house to the back grove where we’d made the macabre discovery earlier that day. Moments later I reached the tree line, but still didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. My father’s footprints vanished into the trees, and I just hoped he hadn’t wandered too far.
Branches scraped against me as I made my way deeper inside the grove. Still I heard and saw nothing out of the ordinary even as I approached the other side where the sectioned-off field was located. `As I breached the edge of the trees, I spotted something up ahead. It was laying near one of the fresh pits the police had been excavating, and after a few seconds I finally realized what it was.
“Dad? Dad are you okay?” I spoke the words in a shouted whisper as I snuck over towards him. He wasn’t moving, and as I got near him my heart sunk as I beheld his condition. His jacket was shredded all over, like someone had haphazardly slashed at him with a razorblade.
Once at his side I found him scratched up and unconscious, but clearly still alive. As I jostled his shoulder he slowly came around and opened his eyes. Suddenly his eyes sprung wide and he lurched upward as he furiously glanced around the area.
“Dad it’s okay… it’s just me.” He didn’t respond, and despite my protest he hobbled back to his feet as he panted heavily.
“What the hell happened? Why are you out here?”
“It’s here… I saw it.” He then groaned and collapsed back to his knees as his face contorted into an agonized grimace. I then saw that his leg was stained red and torn up pretty bad. He clutched it as he slumped down and I moved to assist him.
“We gotta get out of here son.” As I began trying to hoist him back to his feet, a sudden noise pierced the mute night air. An odd raspy sort of bugling noise. It was a weird sound that I didn’t recognize, but it definitely sounded like some kind of animal had made it.
Dad was glancing around franticly trying to see something, but he wouldn’t say anything. His leg was lacerated, and he couldn’t stand on it anymore so as such I ended up just basically dragging him back towards the tree line.
The morose screech we’d heard previous roared out once more, but this time it sounded like it was coming from above us. As I averted my eyes upward, I saw the fleeting form of a large shadow soar beyond the trees. The leaves on the top swayed from the wind of it passing, and clearly it was big, much bigger than any bird or flying creature I’ve ever seen.
“Shit… it’s coming back.” Dad turned and did what he could to try and hobble to the trees. The two of us continued awkwardly stumbling like a pair of drunken baboons until finally reaching the tree line. The moment we stepped inside it, I heard it descend onto the field.
From the shadows we peered out, seeing a large, bipedal creature towering in the field. It stood tall on long, lanky legs. It’s head was suspended upon an elongated neck, and bulbous black eyes stared unblinking back towards us.
My first thought upon seeing it was that it looked like a damn pterodactyl, but it was even stranger than that. I could scarcely believe what I was seeing, but it looked like an enormous goose. That freak of nature had to have stood at least 6 feet tall, with a wingspan probably double that. It’s body was an eerie crimson color much as dad had claimed, and the moonlight beaming down seemed to give it an almost ethereal presence.
It just stood there staring back at us for a long, tense moment of uncomfortable silence. It’s unblinking obsidian eyes seemed to gleam with a rampant sense of primal hunger. Something about it’s gaze was deeply disturbing. It seemed predatory, and of course everything about the situation seemed to reassert that notion. There was something even more than that though, but I couldn’t quite place it.
Dad and I continued backtracking through the woods as best we were able, trying to keep an eye on the fiend as well as get back to the house quickly. We failed the former in mere minutes as the sight of the bird disappeared behind the foliage of the woods. Dad’s leg was pretty mangled, and although it was causing him obvious pain he continued pushing on as I clutched him by the shoulder.
The sight of the house returned as we broke through the other side of the woods. Things were eerily quiet, with no sign of the feathered thing anywhere. The two of us took a moment to inspect the vicinity as we planned our move. I stepped towards the edge of the trees when dad reached a hand out to stop me.
“It’s still out there… it’s waiting for us to leave the woods.” Dad whispered the words as he slumped back against a tree.
“Well, we have to go out there… your legs still bleeding… you need stiches.” Dad grunted and shook his head.
“Trust me… if that thing catches you in the open it’s not gonna be good.” I just threw my hands up then.
“Dad we have to do something, we can’t just sit here.” I pulled my phone out once more, but of course as expected I had no service. Dad’s house was about five kilometers away from the city, and I never got any cell phone coverage there. Dad didn’t have his cellphone on him either, and as such our options were rather limited.
The two of us took a moment to try and bandage his leg as best we could. I took my belt off and applied a tourniquet on his thigh to hopefully stifle the bleeding, and dad tore off the dangling fabric on his jeans to try and wrap up the wound.
As we worked, we heard the sounds of distant honks approaching. A few minutes later and a flock of geese then descended from the night sky and landed around dad’s house. Once they touched down they fell silent, dispersing throughout the yard as though they were on patrol. There was no sign of the big one, but both of us knew it was still out there.
The chill of the night had become a serious problem by then, and both of us felt the cold gnawing against us relentlessly. My teeth chattered in my mouth, and the materials of my clothing proved simply too thin against the frigid night air. We needed to get inside or get away, lest we face serious risk from hypothermia.
I clutched my shovel tight, as dad grabbed some large sticks and filled our pockets with small rocks. At the last second, I told dad to just wait there as I tried to get back to the house. He protested, but both of us knew that with his wounded leg he would be a sitting duck if we got attacked. I had a better chance of going in alone.
I tiptoed out from the woods as dad watched with baited breath from the trees. The eyes of the flock bore down upon me like an oppressive heat, uncomfortable and foreboding. As I reached the halfway point between the woods and the house the flock erupted into a calamity of anger honks. They began to furiously beat their wings and ascend into the air, and I just booked it to the house.
I reached the front door at the same moment one of the geese reached me. It hovered and pecked angrily at me, tearing my coat with it’s beak and slashing against me with it’s feet. Just in case any Canadian authorities are reading this: I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT HARM ANY GEESE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.
Somehow (and through entirely legal means) I managed to open the door and slip inside just as the flock slammed into the wall behind me. Brody was barking wildly and licking at my torso as I took a moment to gather my breath. I took a few more moments to calm him down as the frenzied flock outside seemed to calm down a bit. Suddenly there was a large thud on the roof, and my heart dropped. A low gurgling, sort of droning noise became audible above as the rest of the geese fell into a dead silence.
I knew it was that thing again, and turned my attention to find dad’s phone and the car keys. I managed the latter quite quickly, but the former eluded me. After several minutes I all but abandoned the search and formulated a new plan. As I glanced out the window, I spied dad at the edge of the trees. I knew his situation was growing evermore dire by the moment, and I had to do something radical.
Brody remained at my side, a silent resolve seeming to swirl in his dark brown eyes. I took a moment to pet him, and whisper words of encouragement to the good boy. It almost made me tear up how loyal and ready for battle he appeared to be. He knew his owner was in danger, and he was ready to face the darkness. His unwavering courage inspired me, and I whispered to him.
“You’re a good boy Brody, let’s try not to die.”
As I grasped the door handle, something struck the window beside me. Shattering glass exploded into the living room as a goose flailed into the room. It landed with a thump, but quickly rose and ascended into the air honking and screeching furiously. Brody snarled and lunged at it, causing it to back away.
I figured that was the signal it was time to go, and so I flung open the door and beckoned Brody to follow. Together the two of us rushed from the house and towards dad’s truck in the driveway. A sudden surge of angered honks thundered out behind us, with one bellowing cry that dwarfed them all.
I reached the truck and picked up Brody to usher him inside. The engine roared to life as the geese began accosting the outside of the truck. They seemed to have no regard for their own wellbeing as they body-slammed into the chassis again and again.
I put it into drive and floored it towards the trees. Dad then emerged, staggering out from the woods and towards the passenger door. Before he could reach it though, a scarlet shadow descended from the heavens. It slammed down upon him, wailing and lashing out at him.
Brody and I hopped out the other side and pressed our assault. The red beast had dad in the fetal position down below him. Slashing with it’s talons and biting at his torso. With little other ideas I simply lunged at it, latching my arms around it and trying to bear-hug it away from him. Brody lunged and chomped down on it’s ankle as the beast howled.
It was strong, much stronger than I anticipated. It managed to simply toss me off of it and send me plummeting to the ground. It kicked it’s leg and knocked Brody back as dad managed to regain his footing behind it. It then extended it’s wings out with an angered screech. It’s tone like that of a goose distorted through a megaphone and pitched down several octaves.
I then beheld it’s full, horrific form. The thing’s eyes were haunting, like swirling pools of chemicals glinting in the sun. They were comprised of a multitude of colors which under any other circumstance might even be considered beautiful. They didn’t even look like eyes, and it made me realize this thing was no mere animal.
It towered over me, it’s feathers rippling in the cold breeze. Dad managed to clamber inside the truck behind it as Brody and I faced down the thing. Suddenly a torrent of geese descended upon us, and all semblance of order was lost. It’s hard to describe what even happened in the following moments, but it essentially involved me hardcore dancing my way through the swarming birds. By some miracle both I and Brody managed to enter the truck, thanks in no small part to dad flinging rocks out from the passenger side.
Once all three of us were in I put the truck in drive and gunned it out of there. The red one continued to pursue us down the road, slamming down into the truck 3 separate times. With each hit I swerved and nearly lost control, but somehow managed to maintain the course. Mercifully the beast and it’s cohorts eventually seemed to call off the onslaught, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I had scratches and cuts all over my body and both dad and Brody were pretty beat up as well. Thankfully, none of us appeared too badly injured, and we managed to reach the hospital a little while later.
Dad and I checked in with Brody accompanying us inside. They of course asked us what had happened as we got into the ICU, but all we could really tell them was that we were attacked by some animals. They of course wanted to know which animals in particular, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to tell them. They wouldn’t have believed us anyways.
They got us disinfected which hurt like hell, and stitched-up not long after. They ran us through the gamete of bloodwork, but thankfully they all came back negative including for rabies which was the primary concern. I was exhausted from the entire event, and fell deep into sleep as the sun began to rise outside.
I awoke a few hours later to find the police chief there awaiting me; the same guy in charge of investigating the grim discovery on dad’s property. He was of course curious about what the hell had happened, but I just laughed. I told him it’d be easier for me to just write it out, and that’s exactly what I’ve done here with this document.
The rest of this was not given to the police, but I wanted to add a few more things. Of course, they are skeptical about mine and my father’s accounts, and of course when they returned to our property the geese were nowhere to be found.
They may have locked us up in the loony bin were it not for the damage to my father’s truck and house, as well as my Subaru being covered in goose shit. That part just made me laugh, and it’s almost like the flock just wanted to send me one last middle finger for escaping their fury. One of the piles of stool was unlike the others though, and they got it into the lab for testing. We’ll see if anything comes of it, but I’m not holding my breath.
As for what the hell happened, that I do not know, and it doesn’t seem like anyone else does either. As mentioned, I’ve never seen any accounts of geese behaving like this, nor have I seen any creature or folklore that seems to match that red one.
There are wives’ tales around here about the so-called thunderbirds, and maybe that’s what it was. I just can’t ignore that unnerving feeling it gave me. Of course it was threatening in the sense that it could kill me, but there was also an underlying element to it. It was intelligent, and it’s odd, multi-colored eyes conveyed that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I don’t suppose we’ll ever know, but I just hope I never see it again.
Honestly, I was kind of annoyed that my dad had ventured out there in the middle of the night alone, and I had to ask him why he’d done it in the first place. His response might have been the most terrifying aspect of all of this.
“I heard someone crying. Sounded like a kid, but when I got out there all I found was that damn bird waiting for me. I think it was making the noise.”
Brody, my father and I are all doing fine now, but are obviously a little rattled from the experience. If anyone has any theories about this event then please feel free to share them. I fucking hate geese, and this event has firmly reinforced that belief for me. If you see them, maybe it’s best to just avoid them altogether. You never know what those feathery bastards are contemplating.

I had my last period from March 6th to the 10th. It was lighter than normal, but only slightly. I can usually get away with wearing a pad for about five hours, but I was able to wear the same one for most of the day. I ovulated early by 2 days (a week ago today, it woke me up when my fallopian tubes started curling). I cramped for a few days (which is new, but I’ve heard is normal?), it stopped on Tuesday, and then it started again Thursday afternoon and it stopped yesterday morning. When I was at the doctor the day after ovulating I hadn’t really eaten anything in since the Friday beforehand and had it stay in my system. Despite that, my weight had gone up since I’d just been there a month prior. I’ve been extremely exhausted since the Friday before I ovulated, I had the stomach flu, so I just chalked it up to that. Since Wednesday my memory has been shot. I will forget what I’m doing while doing it, and I’ve had an even harder time remembering words (I have ADHD, so this is normal, but it’s worse than usual). I have also been constipated since Wednesday. I have “gone” to the bathroom once. I also peed twice as much yesterday than I normally do. When I got off of my period I was teetering between a size 0 and a size 1 in jeans. Yesterday I had to buy a pair of 3/4 jeans. That’s 2 weeks to grow that much. I’ve been bloated really bad since Thursday, as well. Today I nearly threw up because my sil was making chicken tenders in the air fryer and the smell made me sick. Then, my boyfriend hugged me and my boobs just hurt. They’re not swollen, just sore. I’ve taken 2 tests, and they’ve both been negative. I took the first test about an hour after I peed while buying those pants yesterday and then I took the second test four and a half hours later. I feel all of these symptoms are coming way too early, but Dr. Google keeps saying I’m pregnant.

Possible trigger warning: Discussion of chronic illness, death, and suicide
Section One: Assets and Debt
*Note: My husband (M) makes around $180k but we have separate finances so all income, debt, and expenses listed here are mine, unless otherwise noted*
Retirement Balance:
· My poor 401k has taken a beating in the last year or so; it’s currently sitting at about $338k despite recently increasing my contributions significantly
· I contribute 16% to my 401k and my employer contributes 8%
· I receive a small pension from my employer; they contribute 3% of my pay per year to this fund but it doesn’t perform well and I’m not including this in my retirement planning
Equity if you're a homeowner:
· M and I purchased our home in early 2020 for $615k, right before the housing market went WILD
· We put down $100k (which was from sale of previous home), and our rate is 2.99%; we refinanced in 2021 and took out $50k equity for bathroom renovations and kept our same interest rate (thankfully!) so current mortgage balance is $515k
· Our home is now worth approx. $950k so we have about $435k in equity
Savings account balance:
· My personal savings is really low right now at $3k
· M and I have a joint savings account we use for home expenses and a 529 for our child, A, who is currently 7; I’m hoping to increase our 529 contributions soon
Checking account balance:
· Currently $137; I keep this pretty low and just use it to pay for day-to-day expenses after all my bills are paid
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it):
· $19k in total, across 4 credit cards
· It makes me physically ill to type this out, but I am actively paying it down using my remaining funds after expenses are paid each month
· This debt accumulated over a number of years and was largely due to expenses/inflation drastically outpacing my income
Student loan debt (for what degree):
· $0
· I had a private student loan for part of my MBA but I paid it off in early 2022. I’m really fortunate that my company pays up to $10k per year for education so my undergrad and most of my graduate degree were covered under that program
Other debt:
· $6k for an unsecured loan I used to pay for a surgery that wasn’t covered by my insurance
· $15.5k remaining on my auto loan
Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
· I got my first job at a fast-food restaurant when I was 13; I worked all through high school, sometimes two jobs at once, to pay for all my clothing and school supplies. My parents provided food and housing but everything else was up to me
· I started working at my current company when I was 18 years old; my starting salary was $19k per year. My mother kicked me out the month I turned 18 so it was a really hard year, but I learned a lot about self-reliance
· Fast-forward to the last few years: I made $85k in 2019-2020, $95k in 2021, and $100k in early 2022
· I started my current role at the end of 2022 and my current base salary is $140,000; I receive bonuses which bring my total cash compensation to approx. $167k annually
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
· My net pay is approx. $6230 per month
Pre-tax deductions are-
· $22 Dental insurance
· $154 FSA contribution
· $150 Medical insurance (for me only; M has A on his insurance due to my MS expenses)
· $995 401k contribution
· $11 Vision insurance
After-tax deduction-
· $20 charity; employer matches
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
· None right now; in the past I have delivered for Uber Eats, mainly for the tax write-offs
Any Other Monthly Income Here
· None
Section Three: Expenses
Monthly expenses:
· $1500 Mortgage payment (this is my half; M pays the other half)
o This includes homeowners’ insurance and property taxes
· $150 contribution to a joint savings account with M
· $150 contribution to savings account & 529 plan for A
· $335 auto loan payment
· $311 surgery loan payment
· $370 minimum payments for credit cards
· $112 term life insurance payment
· $350 electric/gas/watetrash/internet (this varies each month but $350 is avg.)
· $89 cellphone (just mine; M has his own plan with another carrier)
· $3 Apple storage
· $48 gym membership
· $10 Uber Eats subscription
· $80 pet expenses (my half, split with M; this covers food, meds, etc.)
· $60 auto and jewelry insurance
· $72 A’s private soccer lessons (my half; split with M)
· $100 A’s regular soccer team expenses (my half; split with M)
· $700 groceries/restaurants (my half; split with M)
· $60 gas for my car (blissfully low since I work from home and A’s school is close to us)
· $0 for Netflix and HBO-Go; we have friends & family who kindly share with us
· $65 for pest control (scorpions are bad here) *
Quarterly expenses:
· $90 HOA fees (split with M, this is my half)
· $120 monitored home alarm system *
Annual expenses:
· $99 Duolingo
· $129 Amazon Prime
· $450 professional memberships (related to various certifications I hold)
· $99 annual fee for travel credit card; airfare savings more than make up for it
· $30 PTSA membership fee
*Since M covers A on his health insurance, I pay for the pest control and home alarm system since it ends up being about the same cost
Day 1-Sunday:
7:00 AM: Slept in a little and it was glorious. Got out of bed, took my morning meds, chugged some water, and headed downstairs to check on A. He was already up for the day and he was watching a kids’ show on Netflix with M
7:15 AM: Made a green tea for my caffeine fix using half bottled, unsweetened green tea and half water to dilute it a little bit. Made breakfast for A; he wanted half a bagel with cream cheese and some green grapes. No breakfast for me since my morning fatigue med suppresses my appetite and I usually don’t start to get hungry until late morning or early afternoon.
7:30-8:15 AM: Hung out with A while he ate his breakfast, then I got dressed and headed to the gym
8:30-9:30 AM: Took a really fun cycle class where the instructor works with a live DJ. It makes it a really cool environment with great music, which makes the hour fly by
9:45 AM: Home from the gym, took a quick body shower and threw a load of laundry in the washing machine. Made some avocado toast with Ezekiel gluten-free bread, goat cheese, and eggs. I recently removed cow’s milk from my diet and I’m trying to also limit gluten; they’re both really reactive for my body so as much as I love ALL THE CHEESE and bread and pasta and ice cream, I know that reducing them may help with some of my MS symptoms. Sigh.
10:25 AM: Moved the laundry to the dryer and started the next load, then played Minecraft Dungeons with A for 30 minutes. He is an only child, so M and I play games and do various activities with him a lot. It’s sometimes hard when I’m really fatigued but I truly cherish all the time we get to spend playing with him and doing things he enjoys. I know I’m going to miss it when he gets older and decides he’s too cool to hang out with his parents.
11-11:30 AM: I only took half of my fatigue medication today, so I am dragging. I try to give my body a break from that medication once per week because I don’t want to become dependent on it. Unfortunately, I am exhausted on those days where I take a smaller dose or skip it. I made a chai tea latte with almond milk to try to get a caffeine boost (spoiler alert: it did not work). Talked on FaceTime with my mom and my little brother, who’s deployed overseas right now. Did light makeup and put my hair in a half-up/half-down thing while I was talking to them. I got dressed in comfy jeans, a coral-colored sweatshirt, and pastel Birkenstock sandals. M, A, and I left to go meet M’s family for lunch to celebrate M’s brother’s birthday.
12-1:30 PM: Had a really nice lunch with M and his family; I adore them and feel abundant gratitude for having in-laws I really like and enjoy spending time with. I wasn’t super hungry since I had a late breakfast, so I ordered some beef sliders and then drank 2 honey blonde ales. M’s family kindly treated everyone to lunch so no cost to us ($0).
1:30-3 PM: Took a little nap to sleep off the honey ale, while A and M hung out downstairs. Got up from my nap and made a snack for A of grapes and some chips. I munched on some grapes and gave myself a silent talking-to for overdoing it at lunch. Took my afternoon meds.
3:00-5:30 PM: A and I played outside with the dogs, throwing tennis balls for them to fetch and tossing a frisbee back and forth. We also practiced some soccer stuff. I did my daily French lesson with Duo Lingo, picked up the yard (dog owners-you know), and then A and I picked some fresh lemons, oranges, and tangelos from our citrus trees. We are really fortunate to have a huge backyard with tons of fruit trees and other plants. I washed all the fruit we picked, then used it to make a centerpiece for the kitchen island. We played some Mario Kart and another round of Minecraft Dungeons before getting ready for dinner.
5:30-6:30 PM: We had a quick dinner of leftover pizza, chicken wings, and salad. I cleaned up the kitchen while M did the dishes. M and I played a card game (Pinochle) while A took a shower and got his jammies on.
6:30-7:45 PM: M, A, and I finished watching “Rock Dog” on Netflix-it was cute. I packed A’s backpack and snacks for school tomorrow. It’s his first day back after Spring Break but he really enjoys school so he’s excited.
7:45-8:15 PM: Read stories with A for half an hour before he fell asleep. He wanted to know how to say some silly phrases in French, so we practiced that for a few minutes before I headed to my room to get ready for bed.
8:15-10 PM: I did my nighttime routine-brushed the dogs’ teeth (they both enjoy it and follow me to the bathroom at night when they know it’s time) and did my skincare routine. I have been loving products from The Ordinary and the granactive retinoid emulsion I use at night has been a game changer for my skin. I scrolled Reddit for a while before passing out.
Daily total: $0
Day 2-Monday:
3:30-5:00 AM: Woke up in the middle of the night after having a really stressful dream and could not get back to sleep. Scrolled Reddit and checked personal e-mails and texts until I finally fell back to sleep at 5 AM.
6:30 AM: Woke up after snoozing my alarm repeatedly. I checked my work e-mail and Slack messages to get caught up for the day; my team are all on the East Coast so they’re three hours ahead of me. Took my morning meds and drank a bunch of water.
6:45-7:45 AM: Went downstairs to grab my daily green tea and checked on A, who was doing a quick workout with M. A is very much into fitness right now and loves participating in whatever workouts M is doing. Made breakfast for A (bagel and cream cheese and grapes again), put away two loads of laundry, fed the dogs, showered, got dressed (pastel sweatshirt and yoga pants), helped A brush his teeth and get ready for school, picked up the yard again, and made an almond milk smoothie for my breakfast with pineapple and some of the citrus we picked yesterday. Before we headed out the door for school, A spotted a little rabbit sitting in our back yard, so we kept the dogs inside the house and gently chased the bunny out our gate to the front yard. I’m sure poor Peter Rabbit was terrified, but we didn’t want the dogs to get him. I realized that I have grown up to be Farmer McGregor!
8-11:30 AM: Dropped A off at school and sent a Venmo payment to A’s soccer coach for his soccer lesson later today ($35). Called my cellphone provider to inquire about an incorrect charge on my bill (they refunded it-$10), called my pharmacy to refill two prescriptions, and hopped on Amazon to order a new sports bra, some vitamins for the dogs, and some fancy gold sprinkles for cupcakes I’m making at the end of the month ($71.23). My first morning meeting got moved to later in the week, so I got caught up on all my e-mails, helped a coworker with some questions she had, and made a to-do list for my work tasks today.
11:30 AM: I made a quick lunch (breakfast?) of a breakfast burrito and finished an episode of “How to Get Away with Murder”; I am OBSESSED with this show and kicking myself for not starting to watch it until recently! I ate 2 cookies for good measure and headed back to my home office.
12-5 PM: Attended some meetings, prepped a presentation for tomorrow, and did other admin work. I talked to one of my sisters about issues our other sister is having while I emptied the dishwasher. I also completed my daily Duo Lingo lesson and typed up some of my Money Diary. Took my afternoon meds.
5-7 PM: M and A got home from A’s private soccer lesson and we heated up dinner (more leftovers) and ate quickly before A and I headed back to the soccer center for his regular practice. A was a rockstar and put so much energy into practice, as usual. I completed another Duo Lingo lesson while watching him practice.
7:15 PM: Home from soccer, ordered Dairy Queen delivery through Uber Eats ($26.73). It was a special treat for A since he did so well at his soccer practice and soccer lesson today. Am I going to feel terrible tomorrow after consuming so much dairy? Probably. Is it worth it? We shall see!
7:30-8:30 PM: A took a quick shower then M read him stories and put him to bed. I did my nighttime routine, watched another episode of “How to Get Away with Murder”, and then it was lights out.
Daily total: $132.96
Day 3-Tuesday:
4:45 AM: My alarm goes off and I begrudgingly crawl out of bed. I drink some water, take my morning meds, and make my green tea, before getting dressed for the gym. It’s still dark outside and it’s raining like crazy so my motivation to go to the gym is waning.
5:30-6:30 AM: I took a cycle class at my gym, with a different instructor and format than the one on Sunday. It wasn’t as challenging as the other cycle class, but it was also super early, so I am not complaining.
6:30-7:45 AM: Head home from the gym, shower, get dressed (a gray t-shirt and yoga pants), and hang out with A while he eats breakfast (bagel with cream cheese and some grapes again). I responded to Slacks from my team and checked my calendar for the day while I made another green tea. After A was done eating breakfast, we played some Minecraft Dungeons together. He doesn’t usually get to play video games before school, but he got himself dressed and ready to go in record time, so I didn’t mind making an exception.
7:45-8:15 AM: Dropped A off at school and headed home to finish getting ready for the day. I put on some light makeup and dry shampooed my hair so I would be presentable for the multiple meetings I have today.
8:30-11:15 AM: Took a bunch of meetings, two of which I thought would be really tough but ended up going well. Made a brunch of Ezekiel toast with peanut butter and strawberry jam and ate that while I typed up more of this Money Diary before my next round of meetings began.
12-4:30 PM: Lots of meetings and work to do in between them. I took a quick snack break and ate 2 cookies while I did today’s Duo Lingo lesson. I also took my afternoon meds while I had a break between meetings. I’m thankful for modern medicine but I would be lying if I said it’s not a pain to manage so many pills at different times throughout the day.
4:30 PM: Signed out of work for the day and-you guessed it-played some Minecraft Dungeons with A and M. A finished all his homework at school so we let him have some extra video game time before dinner.
5-8 PM: We had dinner (grilled chicken, quinoa, peas) then A and I had a dance party in the kitchen while I cleaned up from dinner. I snuck a leftover brownie and treasured every bite. We all watched a movie together then I read stories with A and put him to bed.
8:30-10 PM: I did my nighttime skincare routine, brushed the dogs’ teeth, scrolled Reddit for a while, then lights out.
Daily total: $0
Day 4-Wednesday:
5:45 AM: Woke up to the sound of a furious rainstorm outside. I live in a very dry climate so getting rain always feels like a luxury. I remembered today is the day I can begin making dining reservations for an upcoming trip to Disney World, so I log in to my Disney account and start looking at options. I’m surprised and delighted to get 3 different reservations I was hoping for right away. The last time we went to Disney World in 2021, I had to check daily for reservation openings, and I ended up just paying for a service that monitors restaurant availability in order to get the reservations we wanted. I was not expecting it to be so easy this time around! I had to pay to hold our reservations ($344.79) but will end up splitting them with my sister and her partner, whom A and I are going on the trip with. I have funds set aside in a travel sinking fund so using some of that for this expense. Note: A doesn’t know we are going on this trip and my sister, and I are planning to surprise him the morning we leave. I cannot wait!!!
6:00-7:45 AM: Made breakfast for A (Cheerios today) and got him ready for school while I drank my green tea. I got dressed (striped sweatshirt and yoga pants) and put on some light makeup since today’s schedule is pretty meeting heavy. I took my morning meds and started responding to Slacks, then checked my calendar to ensure I wasn’t added to any new meetings since yesterday afternoon. I started mentally preparing for a meeting I know is going to be difficult today. I try to treat everyone with kindness but there is a person I have to meet with today who does not seem to share that same value. Oh well, c’est la vie.
8:00-10 AM: After dropping A off at school, I got fully logged in for the day and jammed through all my e-mails and morning meetings. I took a quick break to work on the Money Diary and do today’s Duo Lingo lesson. I made a chai tea latte with almond milk and it went down a treat.
10-10:30 AM: Break between meetings so I used the time to empty the dishwasher and start a load of laundry. The rain finally petered out, so I picked up the yard and checked the mail while listening to a true crime podcast.
10:30-1:30 PM: More meetings, one of which was really fun! I really like my team and I appreciate that we can have a good time together, even when our work is stressful. Between meetings, I found a dermatologist with good reviews and called to make a Botox appointment. I paid a deposit to hold my appointment ($50); it will be deducted from the cost of my service. I’ve been hesitant to start getting Botox since I’m bad about keeping up with beauty routines, but I just need to do it and force myself to maintain it. I ate a quick sandwich with some turkey and grainy mustard on Ezekiel bread.
1:30-4:30 PM: Took my afternoon meds. Did some admin work, tried pulling a report in Snowflake but couldn’t wrap my brain around fixing the syntax errors so I called it quits for the afternoon. I really need to carve out time for SQL practice each day; my brain is not naturally good at coding and it feels impossible that I’ll ever get more comfortable with it. M and A got home and we celebrated A’s progress on his reading comprehension grades. He is extremely gifted with math and spelling but he has struggled a little bit this year with reading comprehension, so we try to really celebrate any growth he shows in that area. I downloaded some songs from iTunes ($5) and listened to those while I worked.
4:30-5 PM: I put together my to-do list for tomorrow, did one final sweep of Slacks and e-mails, and logged out for the day. A and M played Minecraft Dungeons for a few minutes while I finished working.
5-7:30 PM: M smoked a prime rib today, which we had for dinner, along with salad and leftover quinoa. A and I tossed around a football while M finished cooking the meat. I ordered invitations for A’s birthday party next month ($36, split with M so my total is $18). He is all about Minecraft right now so naturally that is the party theme he chose. I vacuumed the downstairs floors and cleaned the kitchen then we finished watching the movie we started last night. I ordered some clothing for myself and used a small credit I have from the store to bring down the total cost ($120.81).
7:30 PM: M put A to bed and read stories with him while I brushed the dogs’ teeth and did my nighttime skincare routine.
Daily total: $538.60
Day 5-Thursday:
4:45 AM: Woke up when M’s alarm went off; looked at my phone and saw how early it was then promptly fell asleep.
6:05 AM: Woke up to my alarm and dragged myself out of bed. I have a meeting at 7 AM my time so I need to get moving a little earlier than normal. M is taking A to school today so I get dressed (gray shirt, light pink Vuori pants), take my meds, put on some light makeup, and start checking Slacks and e-mails.
6:45 AM: A is still sleeping so I wake him up for the day. The dogs are so excited to see him so they accompany me to his room and jump up on his bed for kisses. I help A pick out clothes for the day and leave him to get dressed while I make his breakfast (Cheerios and grapes today).
7:00-7:30 AM: I log in to work and attend the early morning meeting; it’s a frustrating conversation and nothing gets accomplished, so will have to follow up with the stakeholders early next week.
7:30-8:00 AM: I make a Chai tea latte with almond milk for myself, fill A’s water bottle, and do a final check of his backpack to make sure he has everything he needs. I always pack A’s backpack each night with snacks, his homework folder, and any library books he needs to return the next day. It makes mornings a little less hectic and sets the tone for a less-stressful day for us. I kiss A and M goodbye as they head out the door, then go back to work. I had signed up for a short cycle class later this morning but I am not feeling it today; I cancel my registration and promise myself I’ll do a workout at home later in the day (spoiler alert: did not work out later).
8:00-10:00 AM: I listen to a podcast someone mentioned in their Money Diary (“I Will Teach You to be Rich”) while I do some admin work and put away the laundry I started yesterday. I have back-to-back meetings later today so trying to get any household and admin things done first so I can fully focus on those calls. I ate a quick breakfast of a tomato, goat cheese, and egg scramble with two pieces of Ezekiel bread toast.
10:00 AM-1:00 PM: Attended back-to-back meetings and coordinated follow-ups for our team as needed. My previous roles were always very meeting heavy, but a lot of those meetings felt pointless; I like that in my current role, people tend to only meet when it’s really necessary, so we get more out of the time we have together. Took my afternoon meds.
1:00-4:30 PM: Finished work for the day, had a brownie and a Dilly Bar made with coconut cream for snacks. I have definitely noticed a correlation between my level of stress at work and how much sugajunk food I eat. I stepped outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air and check the mail. I received my Disney redemptions gift card for $77 from my Chase Disney Rewards credit card. I browsed the Shop Disney website and debated buying some Snow White themed “Minnie ears” for the upcoming trip, but I already have a few pairs I will bring so I decided to hold off on buying it. I did purchase a new Magic Band + for the trip ($26.96). I got it at a discounted rate since we have an upcoming reservation on-property. While the Magic Band isn’t required, it does make life easier since you can use it as your room key, to purchase food and other items in the parks, etc. I had previously bought one for A which I plan to give to him when my sister and I surprise him the morning we leave for the trip. I completed my Duo Lingo lesson for the day and got about 90% of the questions correct! I feel like it’s starting to “click” and I’m making good progress.
4:30-6:00 PM: M went to see the new John Wick movie, so A and I decide to order burgers and fries via Uber Eats for dinner ($27.35). M usually cooks dinner each night and while I know how to cook and can make basic things, I was really tired so I took the easy route. While we waited for dinner to arrive, I helped A with his homework and hung out with him while he played Minecraft Dungeons for a few minutes.
Daily total: $54.31
Day 6-Friday:
6:30 AM: I slept in a little this morning since I have no meetings until later today. I checked my Slacks and e-mails in bed for a few minutes, then took my morning meds and headed downstairs to make my green tea. A is already up and dressed so we hung out for a few minutes and then got his breakfast ready. He wasn’t very hungry this morning, so I let him have a granola bar and grapes instead of a bigger meal. Every single morning, he tells me he isn’t hungry and I remind him he needs to eat something or he will be hungry and distracted once he gets to school, so this is a well-rehearsed conversation for us.
7:00-8:00 AM: A ate his breakfast then finished getting ready for school while I took a super quick shower and got dressed (a blue sweatshirt and workout shorts). I only have one meeting today so I decide to skip makeup and hair and just put on my moisturizer and some lip balm. I drop A off at school and get fully logged in for the day.
8:00-9:30 AM: I chat with my team on Slack about some data analytics we got asked to provide today; I feel very grateful to work with smart people who view things differently than I do. It challenges me to think outside of the box and I feel like I’m constantly learning new things. M and I decide to increase our contributions to A’s 529 account, so I update my budget binder to plan for $100 per paycheck to his account instead of the $75 I have been doing. M puts in the same amount each pay period. Note: I know there are so many online budgeting tools I could use but I really love having a place to write it down and make it a little more fun by using different colored pencils for different categories.
9:30-11:00 AM: I had an awesome meeting with someone I mentor; part of it was career-related and part of it was just catching up on life. We make plans to meet again in two weeks and I’m excited to talk to her again. After the meeting, I quickly catch up on admin work and e-mails.
11:00 AM-12:30 PM: M and I worked on our estate plan. It’s been on my mind for a while because of my MS and we recently lost a loved one at a very young age so we decided to finally get this done. We utilized a free legal service through my company’s Employee Assistance Program, which walked us through filling out the different documents we need. We created a trust and will to ensure A and our dogs go to the guardians we’ve chosen for them and specified how we want our assets and property to be divided up. We also put together a living will/healthcare power of attorney for me, which was way more emotional than I anticipated. I’m on a high-efficacy treatment but MS is progressive and as of now there is no cure. I’m doing what I can to stave off my disease progression, but I want to specify my wishes regarding my long-term care in case I ever become incapacitated (physically or cognitively). Assisted suicide isn’t legal in my state but I let M know that would be my preference if my disease progresses to a certain point; maybe by then it will be legal here and if not, we can go to a state where it is legal. I know it was difficult for M to talk about this but I feel better knowing he understands my wishes and is willing to do what I ask.
12:30-1:30 PM: After the estate planning conversation, I needed an emotional palate-cleanser, so I scrolled Reddit for a few minutes and made a quick lunch (breakfast) of scrambled eggs with goat cheese, tomatoes, salsa, and guacamole. I called my sister and caught up with her for a few minutes and then went back to work to wrap up some admin tasks. Took my afternoon meds.
1:30-3:00 PM: I reviewed some proposed documentation to provide feedback, listened to another episode of “I Will Teach You to be Rich”, and watched a how-to video for SQL database creation. I placed an Amazon order for some health and beauty items ($58.59) and talked to M about the plans for tonight. The PTSA at A’s school is hosting a family game night so we chatted about what time to go and whether we should eat dinner first. I am currently running for a position on the PTSA Board at his school and I love events like this so I’m looking forward to it.
3:00-3:30 PM: M picked up A from school and they did some soccer drills in the backyard while I finished work. I also did my Duo Lingo lesson for the day and confirmed my reservation at a local restaurant tomorrow morning. My family and I try to get together every few weeks and tomorrow morning we are meeting there for an early breakfast.
3:30-4:30 PM: It has been a long, stressful week and my work is done for the day so I log off a bit earlier than usual. I check the mail, pick up the yard, and relax for a little while before it’s time to leave for the family game night.
4:30-6:30 PM: We ate a quick dinner of leftover pizza and salad then headed to the family game night. A had a really nice time playing the different carnival games and hanging out with his friends.
6:30-8:00 PM: We played Minecraft Dungeons for a while, M mixed a delicious cocktail for me, then M put A to bed while I did my nighttime routine.
8:00-10:00 PM: M and I watched a movie together then lights out.
Day 7-Saturday:
6:30 AM: Woke up with my alarm, took morning meds, and headed downstairs for green tea and cuddles with A. We watched some cartoons on Netflix then A and I started knocking out our Saturday morning chores while M was at the gym.
7:30 AM-10:00 AM: A and I went with my family to breakfast and it was delicious. A ordered pancakes and sausage and I had a delectable avocado eggs benedict dish and a cold brew with almond milk. My stepdad paid for everyone which was really nice ($0). After breakfast, my family came back to our house for a few minutes. We showed them our garden since A is really proud of the progress his fruit trees and veggie plants are making. M went grocery shopping for the week (my half was $90).
10:00 AM-1:30 PM: My family left and M, A, and I spent a couple hours just hanging out, playing some video games, doing laundry, and having lunch. I dropped off a return at the local post office (will be $35 once refunded) and put some gas in my car while I was out ($30).
1:30-4:00 PM: A had a soccer game in the afternoon; his team lost but he played pretty well and received good feedback from his coach. M headed to a friend’s house for a party and A and I went home. I did more laundry and played outside with A and the dogs since it was a nice, warm day. I placed an Instacart order for some candy for A’s Easter basket and a couple other items I forgot to have M grab at the grocery store ($40.78). A and I drew and colored for a while then made paper airplanes.
4:00-8:00 PM: A and I played some Minecraft Dungeons then had a dance party in the kitchen while I made dinner for the two of us. We had gluten free pasta with meatballs, garlic bread, and peas. After dinner I cleaned up the kitchen and more dancing ensued. We watched some TV and then put away A’s laundry and made the beds with the bedding we washed today.
8:00-10:00 PM: A and I watched some TV and I let him stay up later than usual since it’s a weekend night. A fell asleep around 9:30. I did my nighttime routine and scrolled Reddit until 10 or so when M got home from his friend’s house, then lights out.
Daily total: $160.78
At the end of each day please tally up your daily expenses. Then at the end of your diary please tally up all expenses in the following categories:
Food + Drink: $184.86
Health + Beauty: $108.59
Clothes: $120.81
Transport: $30
Travel: $344.79
Other: $156.19
Total: $945.24
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
Man, I have so many thoughts on this diary. I’m in this kind of weird space where I want so badly to pay off my debt because I have a lot of shame associated with it. On the flip side, I want to travel and enjoy the time I have right now because I don’t know if my health will permit that in the future. Overall I spent less on food than I usually do, partly because our families generously treated us when we went out with them. I feel grateful to make enough money to start paying off my debt more quickly, even though I have a long way to go. I’m also proud of how far I’ve come from the terrified 18 year old who didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent and still eat each month. If you made it through this super-long diary, thanks! I’d love to hear from anyone in a similar place with their health regarding how you balance responsible finances with having fun and enjoying your life.