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F33 5"6 CW: 74kg GW: 68kg (UK-based)
I'm feeling so frustrated and demotivated at the moment and I think I need specialist advice so im coming out to reddit for any information on how to start that journey.
I' ve always been between 65 and 70kg, a UK size 10, and feel confident and comfortable there. I've always been active and done con sistent exercise - HIIT, running, strength training and loads of walking.
I've always had a consistent approach to food - most days I reckon to eat 1600/1800 calories, and all healthy stuff. Some days I eat under 1200 when I'm not that hungry. And maybe once or twice a week I'll have more than this- like a big bowl of pasta or a takeaway and some drinks.
If I ever felt like I was tipping over 70kg, I'd be able to correct this really quickly by watching what I eat mote then usual for a month or so then back to maintaining.
For the past 2 years, I've been furiously battling to keep my weight below 70kg, and its crept up steadily to around 74 (cant bring myself to step on the scales right now). No matter what I do I absolutely cannot lose weight but I can gain weight so quickly. I've never had this problem in my life.
I am still extremely active and feel I have really upped my game in the past 8 months in terms of exercise however I have gained around 2 inches on my thighs and waist - now a UK size 12 for the first time in my life and I HATE it.
With regards to food, I recently spent two weeks cutting (1200 per day) and NOTHING happened except I felt hungry, tired and low energy.
I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. It could be that my metabolism is slowing as I get older, or it could be that I started taking anti anxiety medication (venlafaxine) two years ago and this has caused a stop in weight loss. But I feel like I reached the end of my tether.
Any advice appreciated - I'd rather bypass my GP and go straight to paying for someone to have a look at me.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and foe your help!

I started a new job, and as the title states, we are being told we are sharing rooms with same sex employees. This trip is 5 days, it will be training- so i don’t know anyone yet, and I’m fairly uncomfortable with this.
In any of my previous jobs I have always been given my own hotel room, a credit card with per diem for food expenses and such, and have NEVER had to come out of my own pocket for anything.
My flights were paid for. But not my Ubers- I’m being asked to save the receipt for reimbursement. Lunches are only provided and we are on our own for breakfast and dinners.
I’m severely disappointed. I wrote an email and was told that will not cover dinner as we eat at home and that sharing of rooms will be the expectation for all company travel (such as conferences)
I wouldn’t mind one night - but I feel like 4 nights is a lot to share a space with a stranger.

• I’m gonna have to shower and change around them
• I have crohn’s disease so I’m not happy that they are going to hear my flatulence and bathroom issues. And I don’t necessarily want to share this with the office either.
• I think it’s absurd that I’m being asked for front the bill for anything (Ubers) when I haven’t even gotten my first paycheck yet
• I’m disappointed that they won’t provide 3 meals a day. I’m used to the hotel providing breakfast, company providing lunch, and if we don’t have dinner as a company then that’s where the per diem with our work card would come into play.

I have not budgeted 4 Uber trips @ $60 each or 4 nights of eating out.
How should I go about this?

Note, this will include major story spoilers for ToTK and likely other Zelda games
Before I say anything, I want to clarify that I absolutely loved Tears of the Kingdom. I went into the game completely blind, only having seen the very first trailer and luckily avoiding any major spoiler content of gameplay or story. This game was incredible to me and every step of the way I was super interested in how the story would develop and connect to other things. Now that I have finished the game and watched the final cutscenes, having completed all Main Story quests, there are a few things left open, unanswered, or avoided that definitely add a bit of disappointment. No game is perfect, obviously, but in my opinion, a few small changes would have made things feel a bit more satisfying when playing through the story.

1. The least significant, but still apparent, is the disconnect between this story and other Zelda games. From a surface view, you would expect this to be the Ganondorf we all know and love/hate, connected directly to Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess, etc. But this cannot be the case. In some sense, the Dragon Tear cutscenes could be seen as a 'retelling' of Ocarina of Time as there are many similarities and clear references, such as Ganondorf's vow of fealty to the king of Hyrule. And it's very clear that the opening of the game is nudging you hard by using Rauru's name out of context to make you think of the original Sage of Light. But all of these are references, nothing more. This is a completely different Ganondorf, and this Hyrule is a completely different Hyrule. Now like I said before, this isn't that significant of a critique. It's a little disappointing to be nudged by the game over and over with very distinct references to past games and then have them not be significant at all, but it wasn't that impactful.
2. What I think is much more significant is the disconnect between this story and its predecessor, Breath of the Wild. There is a big difference between having a disconnect within the whole series and having a huge gap when this is the direct sequel. An ambiguous amount of time has passed between the two that is never stated. The world has changed but not that much. The castle is still ruined, there's plenty of recovery still ongoing, but the exact time since the Calamity is never stated as far as I'm aware even though this would be a very burning question on everyone's mind, not to mention how long it was between the Upheaval itself and when Link wakes up- because this seems to be quite a while as well given that Kakariko is already a tourist attraction with the Ring Ruins. No comments of 'Link, you and Zelda have been missing for X time' or anything along those lines, it's glossed over even though it feels like it would be significant information to learn. The total time from BoTW seems to be 'about 6-10 years or so' given Maddison's seeming age, but it's never clear what was before the upheaval and what was after. In addition, there are some very big oddities in how the story connects to Breath of The Wild. There is a school teaching about the very real Calamity that just happened, but the students have to be given proof of the events. So they were not alive or aware during the events, and their parents or townsfolk don't mention it at all? Not to mention that almost all signs of shiekah tech, the shrines, Divine Beasts, Guardian corpses, etc have all but vanished with no trace whatsoever. The only designs that are similar seem to be nods to the last game such as the Ancient Blade items. I would be perfectly okay with any kind of handwave of this information like 'The divine beasts disappeared after their energy was spent on defeating Calamity Ganon' or 'The Shrines and Towers buried underground again since their task was complete' etc etc, but there's nothing at all, so much so that it seems on purpose. Finally, the way that characters interact with Link, the hero that just saved literally the whole world not that long ago, is really weird. A ton of people don't recognize him that should, while others do? The clearest example is Hudson and Bolson. Hudson and Rhondson recognize and are appreciative toward Link as he canonically helped with Tarrey Town it seems, but the other individuals in Tarrey Town don't seem to acknowledge him at all. And Bolson in Lurelin Village doesn't even acknowledge their connection at all even though Link canonically bought a house from him, shared it with Zelda, and helped his worker create the biggest construction company in Hyrule. I get that the game has to be a little bit welcoming towards new players but the way it is handled is really odd. It gives the sensation that this is some kind of alternate universe or some timeline shenanigans have occurred from Zelda's time jump, but the fact that all of it is realized through empty space and nothing is pointed out specifically is really odd. The complete disappearance of Kass save for a small reference is also an oddity. It makes me think they'll pull out a Champion's Ballad style DLC to answer a lot of these questions, which would make me a bit frustrated given how they're kind of significant.
3. Finally is the disconnect between ToTK's self-contained story and its open ended gameplay. This one is really hard to fix without making drastic changes to the game, so really it is just a flaw with telling a very focused story in such an open, free game. The story pushes you in very specific direction, but a lot of the time has no way of recovering if you break its order leaving a lot of question marks until you hit a certain story flag and realize 'oh, I had to do this first.' As an example, I did a lot of the Geoglyphs really early because I was very interested in how the story would develop and realized about halfway through that Zelda was the Light Dragon. Once I got all the stories I acquired the Master Sword, and the whole sequence was absolutely beautiful. I Also found Mineru and the Spirit Temple before completing a few other Sages purely on accident. I flew into the thunderdome, missed my mark, and stumbled through the darkness only to find myself on the end of the island chain, where I activated the sequence and went along with the story until I got Mineru's vow. It was amazing and I was in awe that there was this secret 5th dungeon hidden outside the path of the story. However, since I did these two things 'out of order', it caused a lot of weirdness with the story sequence. For example, I was frustrated with the situation in Kakariko and not being able to access the Ring Ruin because Link already knows where Zelda is and that this Zelda is an imposter. Even without the Master Sword sequence, it feels like Link is a total dummy for essentially chasing around Puppet Zelda with the expectation that she's real when we are shown over and over again through the memories and the Sage sequence that she is in the past. Now obviously, none of this matters if you play through the game in its intended progression, but that's really hard to do in an open world game a lot of the time? I was expecting that after the 4 Sages, I would take the fight to Ganon, so I avoided Hyrule Castle once I completed that sequence until I was ready. Little did I know that I had to go through Hyrule Castle first to progress the story enough to unlock the Ring Ruins and find the proper story sequence for Mineru (Which was a really hilarious sequence given the fact that she was there the whole time in robot form listening to Purah and the others figure out there's a 5th sage.) I did my best to follow the story without breaking anything, and it felt like my knowledge and Link's knowledge were significantly different in a way that felt too big to ignore, which nagged at me for the latter half of the playthrough.

Overall, this game is incredible and a huge achievement in both a self-contained Zelda story and open world exploration game, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on certain aspects that I believe could have been touched on a bit more. None of them ruined my enjoyment of the game, but for a lot of my playtime I was expecting certain things given its nature as a sequel that were left open by the end, which was weird. I would be very interested to hear people's thoughts both positive and negative- hearing other perspectives or theories is always a fun time. Thanks for reading!

May 28, 1999
Julian McMahon, 'Profiler's' Distant Detective
Television: The Australian-Born Actor Has Succeeded By Appealing Equally to Men and Women.
Today's Calendar Stories
By MICHELE BOTWIN, Special to The Times
Julian McMahon can be a perfect gentleman. And he can be a total goof.
During a break in his trailer on location with "Profiler," the NBC dramatic series in which he plays FBI Det. John Grant, the strikingly handsome Australian-born actor dissolves into a mock, aristocratic mode.
"I love life. I love the whole breathing thing," he declares, drawing in his cheeks, rolling his eyes. "I love breathing in, I love breathing out."
Earlier, on the set, located this day in downtown Los Angeles in an old meat-packing house configured to look like an artist's loft, he greets visitors with kisses on both cheeks.
"Did they roll out the red carpet for you?" he asks, smiling brilliantly, gesturing broadly as if to say, "All this is mine, welcome to my palace."
His "palace" is the less-than-glamorous warehouse floor, packed with cast and crew—and McMahon is not the star of the show or the center of attention. But McMahon—his over-the-top personality and 6-foot-2 frame aside—has the kind of acting chops that colleagues say could help him emerge from "Profiler's" largely ensemble cast.
"When you meet him, there is an innate charm and likability, a 'regular guy' kind of thing," says Stephen Kronish, who joined "Profiler" as executive producer this fall. "He has the ability and the physical package that casting people look for. If you can get men to want to go out and have a beer with you and get women to want to jump into bed with you, that's a pretty good mix. He's got that quality."
While many Americans may not be familiar with McMahon, the 30-year-old Sydney native is a household name in his home country and the United Kingdom. His father, Sir William McMahon, spent a lifetime in politics, the high point as prime minister of Australia from 1971 to 1972. And in the early '90s, the actor starred in "Home and Away," a successful Australian soap opera with a huge international audience.
Then too there was the media swarm that followed McMahon during his courtship of and marriage (in 1994) to his "Home and Away" co-star, Australian singer-actress Dannii Minogue, sister of pop star, Kylie. They divorced three years later, as her career took her to London and his to New York, where he landed a role as Ian Rain on NBC's daytime drama "Another World."
Although McMahon, who has been with "Profiler" since its debut in 1996, has a key role, the way his character is constructed in the high drama formula doesn't allow much opportunity for him to flex his acting muscles. For three seasons, the show has followed the lives of forensic psychologist Dr. Samantha "Sam" Waters (Ally Walker) and the FBI's Atlanta-based Violent Crimes Task Force, which investigates serial killing crimes across the country. Sam's mentor, Bailey Malone (Robert Davi), heads the task force, which includes McMahon's character.
The thriller's hook is that Sam possesses the ability to "think in pictures" in order to "profile"—and thereby identify—this very specific breed of killers.
McMahon's character can be hot-headed or sober at the flip of a switch. There is his scowling intensity when he's face to face with--or gunning down--a psycho killer. But there's not much emotional range for the detective, who's a professionally driven loner. John Grant has a bit of sarcastic humor, and he more often than not goes for the jugular rather than the niceties of interrogation techniques, but that's about it.
Generally, the character is immutable, unreadable. However, there have been moments when McMahon's been able to convey sensitivity.
In one episode this season, a serial killer has a gun pointed at Grant's head. She's a cop who's been killing--and castrating--men who don't comply with police investigations. Forced to his knees, Grant gives an impassioned, but calculated, speech: "You were everything a father could want in a daughter, but that wasn't good enough . . . " his eyes searching, his voice cracking. He closes his eyes for a moment, and then she turns the gun on herself.
McMahon actually has little in common with the enigma he has been given to portray on "Profiler."
"He's very sensitive, full of enthusiasm and positive energy," notes Davi, who adds that he's formed an older brother type of relationship with his co-star. He recounts how McMahon spent time with his family and young daughters when Davi's wife was ill. "He's like the Australian Roberto Benigni, with warmth and generosity."
"Baywatch" star Brooke Burns, who has been dating McMahon for five months, echoes the sentiment.
"He's very masculine and, at the same time, very tender-hearted," says the 21-year-old actress. "He really cares about people, he's genuine."
On the set, in counterpoint to the scene being taped--in which a female agent discovers she is being stalked--McMahon is hamming it up off camera, pretending to swallow pills on the kitchen counter, slashing the air with a kitchen knife Zorro-style, kicking up his heels.
When the scene is over, he slips into a Mafioso character: "It was good for me. Was it good for you?"
"Part of this job as an actor is to look as intense as you can," McMahon says later. "I have to laugh. I get the giggles, like back in school."
At least once this season he's been allowed to laugh—during a guest spot on the NBC sitcom "Will & Grace," playing a steaming hunk who rekindles Grace's emotional fire.
"Creatively, it was fascinating," he says. "They're really spontaneous on the set."
On the Saturday following the taping, McMahon is at his Hollywood home, an eclectic place located directly underneath the Hollywood sign.
"As a kid I didn't even know about Hollywood. I was into school, sports, friends and my family," he says, his speech still slightly flavored by Australia. "But then I remember going and seeing 'Star Wars' and thinking that was amazing, that for two hours, it put me totally somewhere else."
The second of three children, he traveled at an early age to places like Buckingham Palace and the White House and was at home when his parents entertained. Though the family was close, McMahon did not spend much time with his much older and politically involved father. That changed when his father was diagnosed with cancer. The two formed a tight bond until his death in 1988.
"It was difficult because I had just found this best friend, an 80-year-old man, and he was just taken from me," he recalls. "My dad was the kind of person who would treat everybody the same, a really wonderful trait that he passed on to me without my knowing it."
He also inherited his father's sense of humor, according to McMahon's mother Lady Sonia, a leading society figure in Australia.
"Julian was always joking around and the life of the party," she says by phone. "Not that I ever thought it would lead to something like this."
There were hints. McMahon started modeling when he was 17, after a university stint. Heading off for Los Angeles, New York, Milan, Rome and Paris, he wanted to make a name for himself. He went from modeling to the daytime soaps, then prime time. He hopes serious movie roles will be next. During the 1997 series hiatus, McMahon appeared in "In Quiet Night," an independent film that never made it to theatrical release, and this summer, he will continue reading for feature film parts.
"I hate labels, but people put you in a box or category, that's how they are. But you can't allow yourself to get in that box," he says.
Nevertheless, for a while most people will connect McMahon with the distant Det. Grant. This week, NBC announced that "Profiler" would be back for another season in the fall.
Part of the network's "thrillogy" Saturday evening lineup, the show has been a hit among adults 18-49 and women 25-54, and the 1997-98 season gave NBC its first time period win in five years among adults 18-49 on the night. But McMahon knows that the television life cycle can be short—and he's prepared for his run on "Profiler" to end.
Says McMahon: "You have to have the ability to pick yourself up and go on when things don't go right."

• "Profiler" airs at 10 p.m. Saturdays on NBC.

Copyright 1999 Los Angeles Times. All Rights Reserved
Originally sourced and archived from here.

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I've always been a very passive and conflict avoidant person. In top of that im a people pleaser and have regularly put others needs before my kwn. I've just learned that the best way to deal with conflict or frustration is to take all of the blame myself, do more work to avoid conflict starting and then just shut up about it. My wife knows this tendency of mine and uses it against me oftentimes in arguments.
The first way she does it is when we have an argument about something she isn't doing enough of to support me, for example I have watched our child a lot during work (she's a SAHM and I work remotely usually) and wasn't able to get work done because of it or when I ask her if we can hug / touch more often...she usually either blames me not doing enough to make her want to touch me for or not saying something earlier or she goes nuclear and starts saying she's the worst partner / mother and doesn't know why we're together and we need to split up. This happens in so many arguments and it's really triggering for me because 1) I don't want to divorce, I love her and my family 2) I grew up in a house where my parents divorced and always fought. SO, in order to pull her back from the edge, I just stop trying to advocate my needs and try to reassure her that shes amazing and make peace.
The next way she does it is rarer, but hurts a lot more.
It's been a pretty hellish couple of months. Our 2nd child is about 8 weeks old, colicky and hardly sleeps. Since his birth I've taken on all of the night feedings and let my wife sleep 8-12 hours a night while I only get 2-3 between feedings. Yesterday I had to drive into work (a 3 hour commute total), when I got home I immediately took the newborn off of her because she was overwhelmed. Tried to get him settled down, which after an hour or so of scream crying and light sleeping, wasn't happening.
During that I got a message from my sister. She had a CT scan and they found a very dangerous infection in her nasal cavity that could kill her, they were surprised she was still functional. They're scheduling emergency surgery, but it's still a little ways out. On top of that I found out earlier that day that my dad is getting emergency knee surgery and won't be able to see me on Father's Day, which is was really looking forward to as I haven't seen him in over a year and a half.
I got overwhelmed, it was too much. Gently put baby down. She asked me what was up and I told her. I'm so burned out and started crying and fell on the floor. She came and...patted me on the head. She told me not to worry about cooking dinner (I do it 99% of the time) or taking care of night feeding. I cry for awhile as she just stands there and baby wakes up again, she goes and gets him while I make dinner. Once dinner is ready she gets upset because she has to hold him and wants to eat. So I take baby and get him settled down. She told me to get some sleep instead, I told her I don't think I'd be able to sleep because of all that was going on.
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She then immediately got mad and short with me, saying she needed to go take care of him and she can't comfort me. She then left me without saying good night or anything. Hurt, but tired, I went to bed thinking I'd sleep a little bit. Set my alarm for 2am and kept my clothes on incase I needed to take over, she came back in angerly to grab a pillow and didn't speak to me. Sleeping pill kicked in and next thing I know she's waking me up 2 hours later telling me angerly I need to take care of him. So I get up and do so.
Now it's the morning after and I told her how that hurt me and how she was using my needs against me. She just had excuses and then after those ran out she told me "this isn't working", knowing what "this" is (our marriage) because of how many times she does this I just walked away.
I'm just so fucking tired and anxious. It feels like the only choices I ever get when we fight is to shut up and listen to her needs and work my ass off to address them or get threatened with divorce because I communicate my needs. I don't know what to do? I don't want a divorce, i want to work this out and move past it stronger. I've suggested couples therapy before in the past when she did this before and she didn't like it because she's worried that the therapist and I would gang up on her, we also don't really have a support network to watch our kids if we went anyways.
Tldr: I've been overwhelmed by taking care of our newborn all night for months. Upon learning about my sister having a potentially fatal infection I got even more so. My wife offered to watch our newborn that night and then got upset and angry at me when I finally accepted her offer. Now she's saying she wants to separate.

Cyberpunks launch was a shitstorm and PR disaster putting them in everyones crosshairs. It Became used as "what not to do" reference example and meme in the gaming community. By the time they decently fixed the game and the ps5/xsx versions were genuinely good, the reputation didnt just go away. But then Cyberpunk Edgerunners came out and was really good, good enough to be considered a must watch anime and definitely a must watch to everyone that already has and uses netflix. Suddenly everyone was talking about and getting into cyberpunk again, and it skyrocketed in the steamcharts as the number 1 most played game for the week after the anime came out overtaking call of duty and elden ring at the time. Should more games come out with a really good, gory adult rated anime and throw a decent romance in? Fromsoft has entered a crossmedia partnership across games anime and movies starting with a sekiro anime

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todayilearned

• Pete_The_Chop

TIL a 36-year-old man with a super swollen stomach, who had had trouble breathing, went to the ER only to discover that the twin he had absorbed in utero was still living in his abdomen
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• einstein_bern

TIL Neil Armstrong completed almost all required coursework towards a master's degree when he joined NASA in early 1960s. A semester short, he returned to USC after his moon landing in 1970 to give a one-hour seminar on the technical aspects of landing Apollo's lunar module to receive his Masters
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• triviafrenzy

TIL Since his father had died 5 months earlier, King Alfonso XIII of Spain became king on the day of his birth in 1886. While only a few minutes old he was presented naked to the Spanish Prime Minister on a silver tray.
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dataisbeautiful

• re-pete-io

[OC] I created a simple, free waveform and genre visualizer for your top ten Spotify songs, a few samples below and link to the tool in the comments!
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• J0kerc01

[OC] How We Spend Time in Different Relationships
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• KyleHofmann

[OC] Air pollution from Canadian wildfires: PM 2.5 particulate density in the continental United States
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Cooking

• LycheePlus

Having to clean out and organize your pantry and fridge is totally normal right?
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• Rapper_Laugh

What dish do you find yourself recommending on this sub over and over?
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• mrnapolean1

how to cook bacon without filling the house with smoke.
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food

• MrHaze100

Club Sandwich with Honey ham, sliced rotisserie chicken, applewood smoked thick cut bacon and Dill Havarti cheese. [Homemade]
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• SoWhatNoZitiNow

[Homemade] BLT
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• softrotten

[Homemade] Scallion hotdog flower buns
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movies

• LizCampe

The Making of the World's First Ever Fully Painted Feature Film, "Loving Vincent"
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• DepressivePH

"Arrival" - By Denis Villeneuve
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• forman98

Office Space and Fight Club - What was it about the late 90's and corporate disillusionment?
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Art

• Rafo-A-vevo

Witch Hunt, Digital, by Simz, 2023
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• vonnesaur

Celestial, vonnesaur, digital, 2023
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• VedaDragon

Green owl, VedaDragon, polymer clay, 2023
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television

• The_Iceman2288

Jay Johnston — of Mr. Show, Arrested Development, The Sarah Silverman Show, Bob's Burger's, and Anchorman fame — has been arrested in connection with the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol
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• Chemical-Ad-2694

‘Star Wars: Ahsoka’ Sets Official August 23 Premiere Date at Disney+
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• MarvelsGrantMan136

CBN founder, ‘The 700 Club’ host Pat Robertson dies at 93
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pics

• isthataprogenjii

GRRM in a writer's strike gathering. XD
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• 07Minutes

New York skies due to Canada forest fire
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• roosyroo

The amount of Parmesan my husband puts on his pasta.
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gifs

• majozaur

watercolor of Houston
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• lnfinity

Dozing off while taking a dust bath
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• lnfinity

"I'm going to casually put my arm around her"
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educationalgifs

• volossaveroniki

3D animation that demonstrates the radius of destruction of the fallen line and gives advice on how to behave if you find yourself in this situation.
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mildlyinteresting

• Bruhscovitch

The lighting in this room makes it look like this fan is missing a blade
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• Ovvr9000

I found my great great grandfather’s 1899 certificate of U.S. citizenship in which he renounced his allegiance to the Emperor of Austria
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• kottabaz

These Lego bricks are the same color... except under a blacklight
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interestingasfuck

• TheLostStonerr

New york city in 2023, everyone wearing mask due to air quality
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• vectorix108

Sea cucumber skin under 100x magnification
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• MABD1997

Abandoned skyscraper in Memphis
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funny

• Conscious-Guest-7710

Who knew strippers were this successful.
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• theblocking

Being an adult isn't the same as being a grown up
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• GYROBOTTT

Best candidate
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aww

• Tighnari

This little baby deer got so scared crossing the road from seeing the car approaching, it dropped down in the middle of the road and wouldn't move. After stopping and turning the car off to help them calm down, the mama deer cautiously came to the rescue
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• herewithus

Goose and Mumble eating breakfast and watching SpongeBob 🩷 (OC)
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• FearlessEnergy

Always get your gear checked by a professional
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I feel like this is going to be a long post so please bear with me.
So, me and this guy have been dating for 2 years & broke up 2 months ago. He dumped me and t'was very one sided. He pushed me away and said a lot of things towards me that caused me so much pain. After the break up, I blocked him sa lahat ng social media platforms that I have and went no contact straight away (going 53 days NC).
After 2-3 weeks, he reached out to me a couple of times by texting me saying na he didn't mean it and that he broke up with me na lang because he can see that 'he's not good for me na daw'. Also told me that he loves and cares for me. He sent gifts like food, flowers, etc sa house ko. And because wala siyang makuhang response sakin, he reached out to my friends na lang and asked how I'm doing. Told my friends to block him.
What do you think he's trying to do? is he doing these things lang ba to make himself feel better after hurting me or is he sincere? I'm doing better now but he ruined it when he reached out to me again. Lurked through his socials a while ago, and I think he's starting to get miserable na and sharing these sad breakup quotes and songs online. 😬
Also, can you give tips on how to cope up or move on in a healthy way? What do you do when you're relapsing?

Read this post from Philippines
Philippines will go dark by June 12th in protest of new Reddit API changes
TL;DR: Philippines will be participating in site-wide protests against Reddit's new API policy changes. These new API policy changes will affect moderators and casual users usage of third-party tools and applications. Philippines will be private on June 12th to 14th.
Hello Philippines,
As you may have already known the news, Reddit has announced some changes to their API that will affect developers, moderators, and users alike.
So what's an API?
API stands for Application Programming Interface, a way for two or more computer programs to communicate with each other. Think of it as a relay between a site and an app, where an app might request something from a site and said site will provide what an app needs.
What's new with Reddit's API then?
Reddit announced some changes with their API usage, that will be implemented on July 1st:

1. New rate limits for free access.
2. New Enterprise tier for large-scale usage (previously, Reddit API usage was free of charge).
3. New way of accessing data for academic and research purposes (previously, this was done using PushShift, a third-party tool that uses Reddit API to gather data).
4. Limiting access to sexually-explicit content for large-scale applications.

What's with the third-party apps, why do they exist, and why are they affected with the upcoming API changes?
Third-party Reddit applications (such as Apollo, BaconReader, Boost, Infinity, reddit is fun, Slide, Sync, and many more) provide alternative ways to browse Reddit with additional features, quality of life improvements, and tools that are not available in official Reddit apps. They exist because Reddit doesn't have its own official app for a long time, and the only way to browse Reddit back then was through mobile browsers or third-party apps.
Related thread: Reddit Mobile Apps (Dated 7th April 2016)
With the recent API changes, Reddit will charge exorbitant fees to third-party developers to access their API through the Enterprise Tier. Christian Selig, developer of Apollo (a third-party Reddit app for iOS) will have to pay 20 million US Dollars per year with Reddit's planned pricing. Other developers such as Laurence Dawson of Sync for Reddit are also disappointed with the upcoming fees and how limiting the API is:

So I just found out that I will be petsitting the class betta for a local school. Without being to specific, this school has a system alternate to grade levels- there were 4-5 year olds in this class this year and next year most of the students in this class will be returning ones from this year. This means that ~60% of the class will definitely remember the betta, as they went on a class field trip to purchase him and cared for him all year.
At this school he has been living in an unheated, unfiltered ~.5 gallon. I had a ~3 gallon critter keeper laying around to gift to the classroom as an upgrade before plans changed today. I know that he would be better in a 5+ gallon but considering his shockingly good health and general slow-movingness (hes a veiltail) I thought it could help. That and I don’t have anything bigger to give them, or the budget to buy anything atm.
It’s not a big deal for me to petsit him as I coincidentally have 2 empty ten gallons I just started cycling last week. I was going to wait months until adding any livestock but they’ll have to do. They only have a few small plants I’m waiting to grow in, but I have spare driftwood I can add as hides. My main concern is the shock of being put in a drastically different environment killing him… That, and when we return him, him no longer being able to live in a smaller tank after being used to the 10g. Righ now the plan is to leave him in his .5 gal tank for 2 days then slowly acclimate him to one of the 10’s. But I also worry because the 2 10g’s I’m cycling have an underlayer of remineralized topsoil (I followes the steps of aaron’s remineralized topsoil guide) capped with gravel. I wonder since it’s still so early in the cycle if there’s going to be an excess of nutrients or anything…
in an ideal world he’d have a heated, filtered 5+ gal when he returns next year. But I can’t think of a safe space in the classroom that would have room for plugs n all.
I understand that there probably wont be a perfect solution to this unfortunately. Priority #1 is that he acclimates without going into shock when he switches tanks, ensuring he has a better home when I return him is a bit further back in my mind. Also if anyone feels they can make an arguement for it being better if I just leave him in the .5 gal feel free, instinctively I feel like I should put him in one of my 10 gallons but idk
Oh, I also have a fully cycled (9+ months) 3 gallon cube. Would this be a better option? I just use it to grow moss and look pretty lol, it used to have a nerite for about a month until I moved it
PS: please refrain from negative talk about the school in regards to fish knowledge, while everyone has the responsibility to do their research, they were unfortunately ill-advised by a pet store employee. I happen to know the employees at that store arent allowed to tell customers how bad 1 gallon and smaller tanks are either :(

I've always had a fear of death since a young age, but it has only grown worse. I grew up in a religious family and that's how it started. As I grew up, I started losing faith and I knew I was going to hell if I ever died. But as I've started losing faith, the fear of uncertainty also got to me. A couple years ago I've had a near death experience and that made everything worse for me. I'd get nightmares about dying and wake up shaking and sometimes crying. I've become a very light sleeper and whenever I hear a loud sound I'd jump out of bed thinking I'm going to die or someone is going to take my life.
Thankfully, all of that stopped recently. I am no longer afraid of dying and I've come to peace with it. I've been suicidal in the past but the fear of death always stopped me from actually doing it. I am 22 years old now and I am more depressed and suicidal than ever, to the point that death no longer scares me. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not, but I don't care anymore.
If you've read this to the end, I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to read. But if I got over my fear, surely anyone can in a healthier way.
Appreciate those around you because you never know how much time you have left with them.

I (25F) broke up with my ex because i felt overwhelmed by his reactions during our fights, yelling at me, punching a wall, crying, kneeling on the floor. After breaking up i realized that i was at fault for most fights because instead of properly communicating my needs, i was acting upset and immature at times. Well i tried to get back with him, but not before him apologizing for causing me panic attacks and punching the wall, but he refused to talk to me and told me afterwards that we are not together because i have never apologized for abandoning him.
Well he got another girlfriend (23F) in a month, while i was trying to solve things out. Before discovering he is with someone else, he told barely responded to my texts, but told me that he still loves me and that he thought about crashing into a wall with his car after i left him, which made me feel afwul but i still wanted to hear from him that he realizes his behaviour was not ok. After some time he told me we're never getting back together, that he is sure of this, because i was tired of insisting for his apologizies and i just wanted to get back together.
I was devastated for 8 months. The first two months of his relationship we talked "for closure" lets say and to get my stuff back, he told me it wasnt meant to be, that he likes the new girl and that he had lost feelings for me prior to the breakup. Which also hurt me. Then he started to act weird, called me drunk to accuse me of cheating, sent texts and then deleted them, start conversations asking me how i am, and then one day he told me he has always loved me and doesnt understand why i act so cold towards him. We talked and he said that i was he one for him, that he was always mine during all this time, that the girl is nice but he doesnt love her. I told him im willing to take him back if he can be honest and if he would have come to be after breaking up with her and not sneaking and using me as a plan B. He said he's not doing that, i asked him if he wants to get back together, he asked me back and the ghosted me (lets say), never mentioned anything about us getting back together.
Then during 8 months he would call or text me one time per month telling me he loves me, that im special and that he doesnt love his new gf. But i always had doubts because they appeared so happy on social media, they moved together, she met his family, spent christmas together while i was at homr crying and im sure he only called me or conacted me when he fought with her. But during 8 months he told me that he doesnt love her, which made me confuse.
Now, he asked me if i would like to get back together and I dont know. I feel like he lied to me, that he loves the girl and only came back because there's something not going well between them. He has never apologised for punching the wall, and said i made him do it because i threatened to leave him and that he only yelled a couple of times which is not true and that its not like he harmed me. I fell confused because every fought ended in him screaming like crazy and now im asking myself if i exagerate it, if im one of those persons who provoke others and they cry when the other person is acting crazy. I do love him and i know its my fault that i left him and he had the right to get with someone else, so thats why im considering getting back together, because its not like he cheated on me.
Tl;dr: Should I (25F) get back with my ex (36M) after he got a rebound? I dont want to ask my friends because they have seen me cry the last couple of months

Married for 17 years and have 3 kids. We spent months counselling for marriage issues last year. It hasn’t got better. Basically we both provide well for the family and we both do our share with the kids but that’s about it really. My issues with her is and has been for many years the following: Mismatched libido- she could go months without it and I can’t. She’s not adventurous, doesn’t initiate and it’s generally not a priority for her. From time to time she gets uti’s but here’s the thing the second issue I have is her drinking. She can’t have a glass of wine etc - she’ll have the bottle. If we go out for dinner it can’t be just a couple of glasses, it’ll be a bottle shared and then the pub for many glasses of gin. Basically I don’t like it. I feel for her of course when she gets a uti but on the other hand I’m frustrated as I feel her diet is bad and her drinking. Add all this up and I’m just unhappy. I don’t think she’s a bad person but it’s just not working and I’m getting thoughts of leaving. I’m not sure if there’s a way to resolve this. She knows how I feel yet she doesn’t seem to want to change and truly prioritise what I want for our future( active sex life in a happy marriage, happy healthy family and being good role models for our kids).
Tldr: marriage in trouble. Sex/intimacy not prioritised. Issues with drinking Thoughts anyone- is it time to move on? Can she change ?

I’ve been criticizing MHA a lot over the past month or so, you can look at my profile and see that instantly. But I want to do something different. We’re going to try to “”fix”” the story. I want to clarify that I’m not doing this to show that “oh I could do things better”, no this is just for fun. I don’t think anyone is satisfied with the story right now.
Most people agree that the 1st war is where the story peaked and it fell off a cliff after that and never recovered. So let’s say you’re rewriting things after the 1st war and you can go in any direction. There’s no limit to how long the series goes on for. You can go in the complete opposite direction of where it went or you can stick to the same structure. What do you do? You can only change things from after the PLW War, everything before that is kept the same.
Try to talk about all the important elements. What is the structure? How many arcs are there? What are the plot beats? What are the character moments and emotions? How do the characters change? Etc.

Long post. Trying to get some perspective on myself.
I (mid 30s male) was often called "asexual" during high school and my 20s. I also posted this on asexual, asexuality, and demisexuality, but wanted some other input.
Back then, it was more pejorative than descriptive, at least growing up. The label, also meant "complete absence of sexual desire", as there was no real "spectrum" back then.
I also have, at least compared to my perception of others, low-ish libido.
However, I always thought I could not be asexual (based on the definition of "complete absence of") due to two major factors:

1. I (male) am only attracted to women. Basically any romantic feelings or infatuation growing up was towards a female person so how could I be asexual? I equated this with heterosexuality apparently some feel that this is not necessarily the case.
   
2. I am married and have sex with my wife periodically, and it is a pleasurable experience physically and emotionally. We were both virgins when we got married so that may also affect my perception of sexual interactions between people.
   

However, I am never "lost in passion" and am very aware of what's going on around me and am somewhat "technical", "mechanical" or "scripted" (I am thinking about angles and how to make it good for my wife). Even "making out" or foreplay feels very step-by-step for me (do this first, do this next, etc).
Obviously the physical sensations are good, but I feel like my brain is, again, being very "procedural". My wife has sometimes mentioned that "there isn't a checklist or fixed routine that you have to go through each time".
To elaborate, I never feel like my body is doing things impulsively (except maybe orgasm?). I am very aware of what of going on, and my brain goes through this sort of step by step process ("according to cosmo or askwomen or sex, she may like this. ok so she likes this, so do this. she likes this next, so the next step is this. she says do this tempo, so do this"). I never feel like I am letting my drive take over. It sometimes feels like a game of chess...
I know movies are not a good example, but many movies show people so entrenched in passion that they are tripping on things while making out, etc. Never happened with me.
On the contrary, things that seem to fit here:

1. I can go weeks without sex. Only after about two or three weeks will my body feel like I "need" something. However, this just seems physical as I never felt the need to watch pornography or have visual stimuli. Again, my male (and female) peers found this odd.
   
2. When masturbation was mentioned in health class in high school, my thought was, "That's weird. Why would anyone ever need to do that?". For a long time I also thought sex was only for procreation (how else are humans going to procreate naturally?). My peers found this odd as well.
   
3. I never had "raging hardons" that people sometimes mention. I never had the urge to masturbate because I saw a beautiful woman. I seemed to be an exception here, too.
   
4. Overall, my brain finds women attractive, but doesn't trigger much else physically, unless it's in the moment itself, and only with my wife. It also only seems to happen when we are actually in thy act. She could walk aroud the house in "sexy" clothing, and while I would surely like what I see, I wouldn't be constantly "in the mood". You know those short clips on tiktok or YouTube where a woman wears lingerie and walks into a room to "surprise" her husband or boyfriend, and the guy drops what he is doing and wants to start making out? I don't think that happens with me, unless I make myself do that (if that makes any sense).
   
5. Never had erotic or sexual dreams or sexual daydreams. I can visualize things, sure, but I have to think about it, versus it "just coming to mind" , intrusively.
   
6. Never understood my friends saying they "need" sex. I understand libido, but never understood needing sex.
   
7. I don't think I could have a sexual interaction with anyone except my wife (basically, comitted relationship).
   
8. Even when I had "crushes" I never thought about sex (except maybe "well, we will want to have kids", etc) and pretty much thought about having a relationship with care, emotion, hugging, travelling places together, going to a national park, having fun, etc.
   
9. When we got married, we didn't have sex for a few months. Neither of us felt any pressure to do so and eventually did when we felt the time was right for us. People used to joke saying "control yourself" and "hopefully there are no honeymoon babies" and I was thinking "I mean, it can't be that difficult to hold back can it?"
   
10. Some movies show a woman using her hands to "fan" herself when she see someone who she finds "hot". I don't think I have ever felt that way [or the male equivalent] since puberty.
    
11. People mention things happening "in the heat of the moment". I don't think I have ever felt something like this.
    
12. Related to the last point above. People mention cheating "by mistake" and "it just happened". I can rationally understand someone cheating on someone after developing a long relationship with someone else, but don't really understand when people say it happened "in the heat of the moment".
    

A few interactions that may help illustrate this more:

1. When I was in college, a cheerleader friend sat next to me, extending her legs out. She then asked me how her (shaved/waxed) legs looked (look, I just got them waxed/shaved, what do you think?) running her hands across them. I said they looked nice and then got up and left. My point is that I didn't feel any arousal and actually forgot about this until I started writing this post.
   
2. Another college friend expressed her feelings for me once. Among other things, she mentioned fantasizing about us being together sexually. For various unrelated reasons, I said I was not ready for a relationship, but I wondered about this part since I had never had sexual fantasies with anyone whom I was interested or infatuated with. Apparently, people do?
   

Sexy commercials don't "turn me on". AgainI can appreciate aesthetics, but I don't get "in the mood".
If I looked at a lingerie catalog, I would feel like "wow she is gorgeous". I would also feel this type of "gorgeous" is different than if I saw a handsome male model or even a beautiful woman in a business suit (with the latter being closer to the lingerie example but still quite different nonetheless). However in all cases, I would NOT feel "the blood moving", feel the need to masturbate, or feel the need to have sex with my wife.
At the same time, if I am with my wife and there is not much time pressure, we can have sex. As I mentioned earlier, while the physical sensations are good, it does feel somewhat procedural to me.
Anyways if you made it this far, what are your thoughts? Feel free to tell it how it is (trying not to have the reddit echo chamber stereotype lol)

I hope this is the right place to ask this question as I'm not 100% sure where else I should post it.
The following: I wanted to download the audio of a specific YouTube video in the best quality possible without wasting space by saving to, say, a file with a 320kbps codec if the original YT audio only has f.e. 192kbps anyway. I found contradictory information about the highest possible kbps rate YouTube audio can have (120kbps - 256kbps), so, to figure out which quality the audio might be, I compressed/downloaded four different versions - 160kbps, 192kbps, 256kbps as well as 320kbps.
https://preview.redd.it/lufmf3m76t4b1.png?width=1243&format=png&auto=webp&s=810c73e1e873559586033021c509f6a630e8dd9b
What I expected to see for the spectrograms was a clear cut off point at a specific frequency, but to my surprise, while there is a general cut off for most frequencies at around 16kHz, some stray frequencies went up to 20kHz in the 320kbps even though I expected there to be absolutely no difference between the 256kbps download and the 320kbps download.
My question is: Let's pretend the actual YouTube max audio codec were 256kbps at max - how come I'm still getting higher frequencies in the 320kbps download compared to the 256kbps download? Shouldn't the frequencies look the same in a spectrogram if they originated from 256? I wondered if it could be due to either a) YouTube saving in a different/more efficient format or b) my download frequencies being "artificially stretched" (if that is even a thing - sorry if that question is stupid, I have next to no knowledge about audio editing and upsampling), but in the end, I do not have the necessary knowledge to figure out what is going on, and Google didn't help much either.
Could anyone explain what is happening here?

I want to have sex with this guy I'm seeing. But I am still hypersexual from what happened. And I'm scared if I do it's going to trigger me, because I haven't met him yet. And sex with my abuser happened within the first 20 minutes of meeting him. And I'm scared sex will be the focus our relationship. I know it won't. I actually like him and we have a good foundation. But I'm scared I'm going to try to fuck the sexual abuse out of me. I don't want to use him to take control back of my body. That's not fair. I just don't know how far I want to go? I want some sort of sexual intimacy. Like it's pretty nice. I don't know what boundaries to set or how to navigate this. Should I explain this to him?

I’m looking for a chat buddy to discuss candy and other important topics, such as what TV series I should binge next, how much I should be tipping the lady at the Thai restaurant for handing me my takeout order, and why my kids enjoy watching YouTube videos of other children playing with the same toys they have.
I’m married, and I live on the east coast of the US. I have a professional, work from home job that involves staring at spreadsheets for long periods of time.
I enjoy listening to podcasts, reading, running, going to see live music, and doomscrolling Twitter.
My only requirements in a chat buddy are that you have decent grammar, text like an adult, and send more than 3 messages a day.
I’d prefer to switch to another chatting app (i.e., Telegram or Discord) if we vibe. Send me a chat if you're interested.

title basically covers it, but i have a friend who’s diabetic and has an insulin pump. we’re trying to work out how to work it into the design without it being impractical. any help would be appreciated! idk where to go with this lol, i hope this subreddit is okay