Does consumer cellular work in mexico

Use of weapons quote, Ian M. banks
“Forget,” said the drone, “about how machine brains are actually put together; think about making a machine brain — an electronic computer — in the image of a human one. One might start with a few cells, as the human embryo does; these multiply, gradually establish connections. So one would continually add new components and make the relevant, even — if one was to follow the exact development of one single human through the various stages — the identical connections.
One would, of course, have to limit the speed of the messages transmitted down those connections to a tiny fraction of their normal electronic speed, but that would not be difficult, nor would having these neuron-like components act like their biological equivalents internally, firing their own messages according to the types of signal they received; all this could be done comparatively simply.
By building up in this gradual way, you could mimic exactly the development of a human brain, and you could mimic its output; just as an embryo can experience sound and touch and even light inside the womb, so could you send similar signals to your developing electronic equivalent; you could impersonate the experience of birth, and use any degree of sensory stimulation to fool this device into thinking it was feeling, touching, tasting, smelling, hearing and seeing everything your real human was (or, of course, you might choose not actually to fool it, but always give it just as much genuine sensory input, and of the same quality, as the human personality was experiencing at any given point).
Now, my question to you is this: where is the difference? The brain of each being works in exactly the same way as the other; they will respond to stimuli with a greater correspondence than one finds even between monozygotic twins; but how can one still choose to call one a conscious entity, and the other merely a machine?
Your brain is made up of matter, Mr. Zakalwe, organized into information-handling, processing and storage units by your genetic inheritance and by the biochemistry of first your mother’s body and later your own, not to mention your experiences since some short time before your birth until now.
An electronic computer is also made up of matter, but organized differently; what is there so magical about the workings of the huge, slow cells of the animal brain that they can claim themselves to be conscious, but would deny a quicker, more finely grained device of equivalent power — or even a machine hobbled so that it worked with precisely the same ponderousness — a similar distinction?”

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.

If you are diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, it's natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure about the treatment options available to you. However, with the right doctor and the right approach, you can successfully manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life. In this article, we will discuss the Ulcerative Colitis treatment options available in Hyderabad, India, and why Dr. Kiran Peddi is the right choice for your healthcare needs.
📷
Who is Dr. Kiran Peddi?
Before delving into the treatment options for ulcerative colitis, it's essential to know who Dr. Kiran Peddi is. Dr. Peddi is a renowned gastroenterologist who specializes in IBD, endoscopy, and liver diseases. He is working in Yashoda and gastro clinics Hospitals in Hyderabad, which is recognized as one of the leading gastroenterology hospitals in India.

Introduction to Ulcerative Colitis

Ulcerative Colitis is an inflammatory bowel disease that affects the large intestine or colon. It causes ulcers, inflammation, and bleeding in the inner lining of the colon, leading to diarrhea, abdominal pain, and rectal bleeding. The severity of the symptoms varies from person to person, but the disease can be debilitating and affect your daily activities.
Traditional Treatment Approaches for Ulcerative Colitis
The treatment approach for Ulcerative Colitis depends on the severity and location of the inflammation, the frequency and severity of the symptoms, and the patient's age and overall health. The traditional treatment approaches include:
Medications

• Aminosalicylates: These medications reduce inflammation and are the first line of treatment for mild to moderate Ulcerative Colitis.
• Corticosteroids: These medications reduce inflammation and suppress the immune system. They are used for moderate to severe Ulcerative Colitis and are not recommended for long-term use due to side effects.
• Immunomodulators: These medications suppress the immune system and are used for moderate to severe Ulcerative Colitis when other medications fail.
• Biologics: These medications target specific proteins in the immune system and are used for moderate to severe Ulcerative Colitis when other medications fail.

Diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis

Before prescribing any treatment, it's important to diagnose ulcerative colitis. Dr. Peddi uses a combination of medical history, physical examination, and diagnostic tests to determine if a patient has the disease. The diagnostic tests can include colonoscopy, blood tests, stool tests, and imaging tests.

Surgery Ulcerative Colitis

Surgery is recommended for severe Ulcerative Colitis that does not respond to medications or for patients who develop complications such as bowel obstruction, perforation, or cancer. The surgical options include:

• Colectomy: This surgery involves removing the entire colon and rectum and creating an opening in the abdomen for waste elimination.
• Ileostomy: This surgery involves removing the colon and rectum and creating a stoma on the abdomen for waste elimination.

The Advantages of Seeking Treatment with Dr. Kiran Peddi
Dr. Kiran Peddi is a renowned gastroenterologist and hepatologist in Hyderabad with over a decade of experience in treating Ulcerative Colitis patients. He specializes in providing personalized care and treatment plans that cater to the patient's individual needs and preferences. Here are some of the advantages of seeking treatment with Dr. Kiran Peddi:

Personalized Treatment Plans

Dr. Kiran Peddi understands that each patient is unique and requires an individualized treatment plan that considers their symptoms, medical history, and lifestyle. He takes the time to listen to his patients and understand their concerns before formulating a treatment plan that aligns with their goals and expectations.

Advanced Diagnostic Techniques

Dr. Kiran Peddi uses advanced diagnostic techniques to accurately diagnose Ulcerative Colitis and assess its severity. He uses endoscopy, colonoscopy, and other imaging techniques to evaluate the extent of inflammation and damage to the colon and rectum. He also performs biopsy and stool analysis to rule out other conditions that may mimic the symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis.

Innovative Treatment Approaches

Dr. Kiran Peddi stays up-to-date with the latest advances in Ulcerative Colitis treatment and incorporates innovative approaches into his practice. He uses a combination of traditional medications and biologics to reduce inflammation and promote healing. He also recommends dietary changes, stress management techniques, and complementary therapies

Medications for Ulcerative Colitis

The first line of treatment for ulcerative colitis is typically medication. Dr. Peddi offers a range of medications to manage the symptoms of the disease, including aminosalicylates, corticosteroids, immunomodulators, and biologics. The choice of medication depends on the severity of the disease, the patient's age, and other factors. Dr. Peddi works closely with his patients to find the most effective medication regimen.

Diet and Lifestyle Changes

Along with medication, diet and lifestyle changes can also play a role in managing ulcerative colitis. Dr. Peddi recommends a low-residue diet that is easy to digest and doesn't irritate the bowel. He also advises patients to avoid trigger foods that can worsen symptoms. Additionally, stress can exacerbate the symptoms of ulcerative colitis, so Dr. Peddi recommends stress-reducing techniques such as meditation and yoga.

Endoscopic Procedures

In some cases, endoscopic procedures may be necessary to manage ulcerative colitis. Dr. Peddi offers various endoscopic procedures, including colonoscopy, sigmoidoscopy, and endoscopic mucosal resection (EMR). These procedures can help diagnose the disease, monitor its progression, and remove polyps or abnormal tissue.

Follow-up Care

Even after successful treatment, ulcerative colitis patients require ongoing care to manage their disease. Dr. Peddi offers regular follow-up appointments to monitor patients' symptoms and adjust their treatment plan as necessary. He also offers support and resources to help patients manage their disease effectively.

Conclusion

Ulcerative colitis is a chronic disease that can significantly affect a patient's quality of life. However, with the right treatment, patients can manage their symptoms and lead a fulfilling life. Dr. Kiran Peddi is a renowned gastroenterologist who offers a range of treatment options for ulcerative colitis patients in Hyderabad, India. From medications to surgery, Dr. Peddi

Location Details :

Yashoda Hospitals - Somajiguda, Raj Bhavan Rd, Matha Nagar, Somajiguda, Hyderabad, Telangana 500082
Gastro Care Clinics, Unit 201, Surya Arcade, behind Labonel Fine Baking, Cyber Hills Colony, P Janardhan Reddy Nagar, Gachibowli, Hyderabad, Telangana 500032
+91 93901 50150 / 95810 00505

Hey so here’s some context: A sports teacher from school that I (19F) had known for a good number of years passed away from cancer at a young age. I never knew that she was sick so it was definitely a big shock that has resulted in bad health anxiety about cancer.
It’s been just over a year and half since she died and I’ve thought about her everyday since then. Which in itself is unusual since I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. But I do remember being kinda nervous to speak to her as I got older since I was afraid of saying something stupid in our few conversations (not that she would pick up on it if I did, she was too kind for that haha). But these thoughts are fine as they no longer disrupt my work or my social life etc.
Since her death, I’ve done the usual things: watched her funeral, been to her grave etc. But as time has passed, I’ve noticed a cycle occurring. Basically, I’ll feel angry about it, sad, guilty over conversations we had not knowing they were the last ones and then nothing! I’d feel nothing about it whatsoever. It’s so strange.
A clear example of this: Yesterday I went to some cool places with my family and had a great time but thoughts that kept appearing in my mind was ‘I hope that [teacher’s name] got to see something like this before she died’ etc.
Yet today is completely different. The thoughts about her are still there, but no feeling whatsoever? Weird right? It’s as if someone switched off the emotion part of my brain overnight. Just to test this, I decided to look at a photo of her which usually makes me feel at least something, but today I felt nothing! And to be meta, as I’m typing this out I’m feeling nothing. No sadness, no happiness, no anger, nothing!
The first time this weird feeling happened was many months ago, and I assumed that it meant that I had permanently moved on from her death. But then the feelings of anger and sadness returned, so did I do something wrong during the period of ‘no feeling’? Is there something I’m meant to do to prevent these negative feelings from coming back?
The reason I ask this is because, I’ve never felt this way about someone dead before. For example, my grandparents have passed on and fortunately they all lived long happy lives but I don’t remember going through this cycle with any of them. But I am with this teacher who wasn’t even a family member! It’s so weird, is this normal even a year and half later?
So here are my questions:

1. Is this feeling of ‘no feeling’ normal? And if so, why does it happen?
   
2. During this weird ‘no feeling’ period is there something that I’m meant to be doing to prevent the return of the cycle of anger and sadness? Any advice is appreciated!
   

I have a DL380 Gen9 server running ESXi, with a 4x LFF backplane for HDDs, to which I plan to add soon another 4x LFF backplane.
Current storage solution (all SATA devices):

• 1x 500GB HDD
• 1x 750GB 2.5'' laptop HDD
• 1x 256GB SSD

I'm planning to buy 3x 16TB (seagate exos x16) HDDs for bulk storage, and maybe 2x 1TB SSDs for the VMs. I will most likely get rid of the two HDDs that I already have, or just store some config backups on them.
However, I can not decide on what to choose as the hypervisor and how to manage the storage. I would like to run a RAID 5 (or equivalent) for the 3 HDDs and a RAID 1 for the 2 SSDs.
The options I could think of until now are:

• unRaid
  • Advantages: easy expandability (can easily add a new drive to the array), integrated NFS/SMB server, can use SSDs as caching
  • Disadvantages: not the best performance, does not evenly split data (splitting by file, which could result in "not enough space" errors at some points if one of the drive gets full); lacks some hypervisor features, stuff like: missing hypervisor stuff from the UI (eg. vSwitches/vNics, which makes life easier with a virtualized OPNSense, can be done through bridge networks, but only through CLI), settings missing from the VM ui (and doing them from the config file directly will make the UI unusable, as doing a save from the UI will revert all changes on the file), only manual core management (I can't tell it assign 2 cores to this VM and let it handle which cores it assigns); a SSD pool has to be created as a "cache pool" and I find the solution hacky
• TrueNas Scale & ZFS
  • I don't know much about the hypervisor part of it
  • Advantages: very good NAS solution, ZFS has good performance, NFS/SMB, runs on USB storage (which frees up one or two sata slots, as I would like to avoid storing anything else on the storage used for OS)
  • Disadvantages: ZFS is not expandable (there's a PR open for that since 2 years ago, but nobody knows when it'll be merged, and even then there are some problems with it (some storage is still unusable until you rewrite all data)). Maybe hypervisor, taking into account it's a NAS OS after all
• ESXi/Proxmox & Hardware RAID
  • Advantages: Very good hypervisor solution, easy to expand (and can even be done live)
  • Disadvantages: No NFS/SMB out of the box. I don't know if (and how much) the consumer SSDs will be bottlenecked by the P440ar controller
  • I don't see hardware RAID as a disadvantage, most of the controllers are compatible (you can import an array created by another controller) and the drives can be mounted and used with software raid too (through MDADM).

​
I would like to find out more about your setups, especially if you run any of the above or a similar solution, or if you have the same requirements and how you dealt with that.
I'm not interested in people taking a decision for me because "that is best, everything else is shit", or getting angry about "how bad solution x is". After all, this is just a homelab on a limited budget for personal use. I'm just trying to get some inspiration from your setups.

Forty years ago I saw a man killed by a garbage truck. When I tell people that they imagine him being crushed by the mechanism inside it, and then I explain that it was a car crash, and they are awkwardly relieved, although the man was just as dead. Slow crushing is macabre, whereas a traffic accident is a violent death but a familiar one, and not shocking, unless it happens in front of you. When it happened in front of me there was a woman there who was more brave than me and went to help him, but it was too late, his head just lolled back in his seat and then she hurried away. I don't know what she saw. I kept walking. I was only a teenager. People say, "It was like a car crash, I couldn't look away." You must learn to look away, as I did. But sometimes it is harder to look away. There are things that are worse and more darkly fascinating to look at than a car crash, things that seem commonplace or mundane at first but that are openings, portals which tempt our imagination, yet are dangerous to delve in. Look away. Look away now. Don't even read this.
And yet you are still reading? I promise you will regret that. I can say with absolute certainty that you will regret having read every line on this page when you get to the bottom.
We went to the supermarket today. My wife and I. There was something there. Well, of course. There were many things. It's a shop full of things. And people. But there was also SOMETHING. As we walked in we both saw it. There was a man squatting down to examine a shelf of items. I thought at first that they were pot plants? I don't know for certain. I was so focused on the man that I had no peripheral vision. He had his back to us. After we'd passed him we both remarked upon what we had seen. But my wife was luckier than me. The way our marriage works is that my wife has one job, her actual paid job, and I do all the other stuff like the housework, the childcare, house repairs, feeding the cats, mowing the lawn, and patiently listening to my wife endlessly complain about being the only one with a job. Ha. That's just my little joke, like we're friends, me and you, and I am telling you a funny story, rather than what I am really doing. Laughter is so genuinely human. Let's just enjoy a frivolous moment together first. Like the calm before the storm. Before I tell you something that I can guarantee you won't find funny, something that will make you curse me for telling you, as if I am not already cursed by the events of today.
When I realized we had forgotten to pick up a trolley on our way in I knew that our division of labour meant that it was my allotted role to go and get one from OUTSIDE. I had to walk past him again, which was okay, I guess, because I only had to see him from the front. He wasn't scary from the front. From the front he was just a person.
But pushing the trolley back into the supermarket I had to put on my bravest face to walk past him again, FROM BEHIND. I had to see it again. I saw the thing. I am still seeing the thing.
I have seen some gristly things before this. On construction sites, where men with loose clothing become nonchalent around machinery. Even plumbers and electricians are sometimes less than careful to make sure everything is tightened and secured safely. Or men working on roofs, inured to the drop beneath them, and oblivious to each other. You know what I am talking about, don't you? You know what it is that I have only dared to hint at, until now. If you don't, then look away, damn you! Look away and protect your sanity whilst you still can! Or read on, read my ghastly revelation, for I must write, I must tell someone what I saw today.
The squatting man in the supermarket wore a belt that was too big to hold up his trousers. He had the worst builder's bum I've ever seen. His buttocks were unnaturally pale and shiny, and entirely hairless, except for the absurdly wide gap between them, full of a bramble tangle of thick, dark, wiry hair.
I mean, you don't expect to see that in Sainsbury's. It's not Walmart.
There was such a unusual distance between his buttocks. I couldn't fathom it. When my wife sits on the carpet, leaning over whatever tedious work stuff it is she does, I sometimes see a mere inch-long faint line of the top of her bumcrack exposed, and I like to put my fingertip in it. It is something she finds disagreeable, but tolerates as one errant thread in the rich tapestry of our relationship. With this guy I could have dropped a golf ball down his crack. I didn't! I didn't have one on me.
I caught up with my wife and 'it' was all we talked about on the way round the aisles. Not in a giggling, puerile way, but in low tones of whispered horror. And as I looked at my wife...let me first tell you about my adoration of my wife. She is such a beauty. Like Cleopatra or one of those fellows. I have taken five thousand photos of her, with her facing me in much less than half of them. In that supermarket I realized that, for the first time in eighteen years, I no longer wanted to see her fat bottom, which had previously been a constant source of such happiness and excitement for me. I tried to visualize it, this perennial source of husbandly satisfaction, but all I could see was the squatting man's uncanny valley. I'd had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity, or a realisation like that which made Archimedes shout "Eureka!" in his bath. I didn't shout anything, though. I don't like to make a scene.
I've had girlfriends before, and they have all had bottoms, which I have viewed with unchanging delight, and seen as part of the whole sexual melange of a person. But I never before today grasped the now unavoidable truth, that bottoms are dark and foul and I'd even go so far as to admit that that's where people poo from, even the women.
I can't go back to being slavishly devoted to my wife's bottom, or anyone's. I am forever cursed. Tainted. Yes, tainted is the exact word. This man has touched my mind with his taint.
I don't know how long he had squatted there before we arrived, or how many lives he has changed. Maybe there will be a drop in the birthrate.
I guess I will have a lot more time on my dry hands now that I am not thinking about my wife's bottom so much. So that's good. Maybe I could do something more worthwhile? I did think I might become a writer. Sadly, I have found that when I write things most people hate what I have written. Really, really hate it, and hate me too, and want to tell me that, bitterly. But the odd person enjoys it.
Yes, they would have to be a very odd person.

While speaking to Out of Character with Ryan Satin, Charlotte Flair put WWE on blast a bit for their double standard:

How do I word this politically correct? [laughs]. I understand that the best story should close the show. I understand that, but does the men’s title and whoever wins the men’s Royal Rumble, are they always guaranteed a main event spot? Are they always? 99.9 (percent). The women, last year, last minute, didn’t happen. This year, toss up because of story? You could argue, whoever closes, say it is the tag match, I’m a huge fan. I’ve known Sami and Kevin since I started. I could not be bigger fans, but fighting for Rhea and Charlotte, I just go, ‘that story has been a year in the making, this story has been three years.
Three years in the making.’ I get it. I get top story. I look at it from a fact standpoint instead of who deserves because no one deserves anything. I do not deserve the main event, I’m not saying that. I’m just saying, if you look at it from a factual standpoint; whoever wins the men’s Royal Rumble, they are always, 99.99999 (percent), the main event. If we have two nights, how does that work? If we don’t close, am I going to be disappointed, sure, but is it going to take away from the match and the moment and how we feel? No. I just go, how do we as women know, why is theirs guaranteed and ours isn’t? That’s my question.
Say the Usos, Sami, and Kevin close. So proud. Especially Sami. Seeing this run and turning it into what he has. I’m just talking from the standpoint from the women. If they’re guaranteed, why is the women’s Royal Rumble not? That’s the fact. It’s a question due to facts. Either way, whoever is where on the card, it’s WrestleMania. Good weekend, good vibes. Rhea and I will steal the show ”

I have a couple of questions for the group:
Is it possible to define a table or list of fonts in the conky config in a manner similar to the ${color1}, ${color2}... commands such that they can be called via font1, font2...? The ability to do that sure would neaten/shorten up my code a lot!
Is it possible to dynamically resize a conky vertically based on the presence of information in one of it's variables, such as whether "${tcp_portmon 32768 61000 rip 9}" has an ip address or not. I'm looking to show the inbound connection(s) as well, and also have the conky resize to a smaller vertical size when not needing to display a given type, such as my rarely-used inbound connections or less than a full dozen connections. I am trying to get rid of the dead space at the bottom of my "ramtopconky" when showing <12 connections. If it works the way I think it does, then I am going to be having a lot of if/then/else and voffset fun the near future if I want to get it looking right. :)
Thank you in advance for any and all help!

Hello everyone! I have a Biqu B1 SE plus which has been working perfectly for more than a year. A few days ago I decided to clean the glass bed for the first time. I used a degreaser and some alcohol and since then the adhesion to the plate has gotten worse. If I print a rectangular object, the 4 corners rise by a lot. Even increasing the temperature from 60° to 70°, using the hairspray and lowering the baby step parameter in order to have the first layer very thin, the filament does not stick as well as before. 1) I haven't found any articles online explaining how not to wash the bed so as not to ruin it, but I think that was the problem, what do you think? 2) what is the best upgrade I can do? Is there a bed of a material that will never make me take the pieces off the plate? (Better if something that doesn't get redone every print, like masking tape or hairspray) Thank you

Hello!
I am looking for a browser-based task-software that (at least) allows me to set projects to tasks - so that I can organize my tasks into topic fields at work. Tags and other things would be good, too, but I don't need too much. Preferably I'd like something with a lifetime option since I really do not like subscription-models.
It sadly has to be browser-based as our company policy does not allow for software installs and the default option we have is Outlook which really does not work for me.
I hope someone knows of something, thanks in advance!

Hey so here’s some context: A sports teacher from school that I (19F) had known for a good number of years passed away from cancer at a young age. I never knew that she was sick so it was definitely a big shock that has resulted in bad health anxiety about cancer.
It’s been just over a year and half since she died and I’ve thought about her everyday since then. Which in itself is unusual since I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. But I do remember being kinda nervous to speak to her as I got older since I was afraid of saying something stupid in our few conversations (not that she would pick up on it if I did, she was too kind for that haha). But these thoughts are fine as they no longer disrupt my work or my social life etc.
Since her death, I’ve done the usual things: watched her funeral, been to her grave etc. But as time has passed, I’ve noticed a cycle occurring. Basically, I’ll feel angry about it, sad, guilty over conversations we had not knowing they were the last ones and then nothing! I’d feel nothing about it whatsoever. It’s so strange.
A clear example of this: Yesterday I went to some cool places with my family and had a great time but thoughts that kept appearing in my mind was ‘I hope that [teacher’s name] got to see something like this before she died’ etc.
Yet today is completely different. The thoughts about her are still there, but no feeling whatsoever? Weird right? It’s as if someone switched off the emotion part of my brain overnight. Just to test this, I decided to look at a photo of her which usually makes me feel at least something, but today I felt nothing! And to be meta, as I’m typing this out I’m feeling nothing. No sadness, no happiness, no anger, nothing!
The first time this weird feeling happened was many months ago, and I assumed that it meant that I had permanently moved on from her death. But then the feelings of anger and sadness returned, so did I do something wrong during the period of ‘no feeling’? Is there something I’m meant to do to prevent these negative feelings from coming back?
The reason I ask this is because, I’ve never felt this way about someone dead before. For example, my grandparents have passed on and fortunately they all lived long happy lives but I don’t remember going through this cycle with any of them. But I am with this teacher who wasn’t even a family member! It’s so weird, is this normal even a year and half later?
So here are my questions:

1. Is this feeling of ‘no feeling’ normal? And if so, why does it happen?
   
2. During this weird ‘no feeling’ period is there something that I’m meant to be doing to prevent the return of the cycle of anger and sadness? Any advice is appreciated!
   

At this point i dont care about the test results but if its gonna help, most of my results were infp/enfp and the functions seem pretty fitting most of the time. The confusing thing is, ive also gotten istj and estj results, along with intp- one test even gave me an "unclear" result and my fi and te were both %90 like god damn. Anyways, I'll try my best to explain myself.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. -I'm a minor, trying to study for uni but im kinda failing. Female. I would say i dream a lot and desire an idealistic life and self, trying to achieve goals. I'm also incredibly stubborn, according to my family members and most of my friends. In both a good and a bad way. I'm gonna be honest, sometimes i continue defending myself even after realizing that im wrong, and that sucks. But i can change that into ambition, as well. I cant stand injustice and undeserved actions. It immediately triggers me the moment i hear something stupid and unfair, and i cant stand but say something. Dont care if theyre talking about me or a stranger, ill still stand up for them or myself. I also realized that i often think about things as "deserved/undeserved". But ofc i dont use it all the time. "deserving" something sounds subjective Continuing here bc idk where else to put this -I show love and care by defending, protecting, spending time with people, doing things for them and helping them. I would love to help my friends improve, like i would prepare proper notes and studying papers before exams to help them understand something in their own way. If they asked me for help about something that i know well, i would give them my best. I also like giving small gifts and baking things for them from time to time. They cant understand that its how i show love though. For me, i enjoy how different people can be. Even if someone doesnt show direct love to me or love me in my way, i see the love and care in their little, unique actions and it makes me so happy tbh, like its so wholesome. (except the times when im being delusional and too soft)
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? -Well not anymore? I used to have a severe anxiety disorder (selective mutism if thats gonna help- probably not) but that was like when i was, seven. I'm still prone to anxiety though. • Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? -my dad passed away when i was 7 so i live with my older brother and mother. After my dads passing i developed some anger issues, and i already had anxiety at that time so i had to get therapy and meds for like 5 years. My mom is somewhat religious, so i was raised Muslim, i am still one.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I mean of course i dont just yet, but im planning to work or do something else that would bring money. I want to make money since i cant live my life the way i want right now, because of economic problems. • If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? I would love it. I dont feel lonely that much, i like spending my time alone. Though i have courses and classes on weekends, i go out but i dont usually interact with people. • What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? No. I dont like sports or am not really interested in them, at least not outdoors. I used to take many different courses when i was really little, like karate, swimming, ballet.. I enjoy variety and these type of activities but not sports like basketball or running etc you get it- I'd like to learn martial arts though. I definitely prefer indoor activities. I like making stories with my friends and designing. I also love watching true crime shows or videos. I like anime and manga but i rarely watch them regularly, when i do i binge watch. I also spend my time talking to friends, discovering random new things and worrying about procrastinating- • How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? lmao, my curiosity is hell for others. I have lots of random thoughts and questions, mostly conceptual. I can be curious about pretty much anything, so its hard to specify. My ideas can be about a story, character, person, reality, i dunno, anything. I remember when i was making a really random story with one of my friends- it was really creative and my mind was full of great ideas and it filled me with hope, happiness, energy and hype. Like i was so damn happy and bubbly at that time because i LOVE it when i get good ideas nonstop. It's so energizing, i can also get inspired from like, really random and little things (like a pigeon flying, literally). I can look at an object and design a whole character just by looking around, sometimes i get too hyped and inspired that i cant stop thinking of new characters, designs, plots- so thats one of the best feelngs ever for me, i really like designing unique characters for the same reason. I can also be like.. Hella random and im annoyingly so easy to distract. Sometimes i even forget what i was saying mid sentence, like i have so many thoughts that when im saying a sentence im also thinking about what im gonna say next, but then i end up forgetting everything- even the sentence i was saying and how it was related to the other sentence. This is not a general thing, but its been happening quite a lot lately.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? that really depends- if its something that im good at, something that i know well, i think i would be good at it. I try to improve myself and others and their lives so if someone ever needs guidance i would try to come up with different solutions and try my best to help them achieve something. Depending on the situation, i would regularly observe and talk to others to detect problems or see how everythings going. I'd try to help people improve and discuss solutions or their opinions. Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? Thats kind of hard to answer.. Honestly the only thing i do with my hands is drawing and typing. As i said i like designing new characters etc, but other than that i feel like i mostly cant do much or well?.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. People tell me i am, but i dont feel artistic. For me an artistic person has more depth or value in their art, like they put something into it. It has a meaning. My art mostly consists of characters and stories. i cant understand how people can express their emotions through art, i really envy it though- I dont think i can do that.. Sometimes i can get inspired by my emotions but that usually ends up in me making more characters or stories. I like to give my characters/stories a concept or a message, but i can never make a single picture with a meaning, or express myself with a single picture or poem. I think that's really fascinating. and I enjoy any forms of art honestly, but music would be the only one that almost always can make me feel something, can give a message to me and feels actually meaningful, which is why i want to learn it. Its also great for some new ideas.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? The past.. is, the past. It can be a big burden sometimes but you can still get over it and learn a lesson from it. Its important. And also -i am strongly connected to it. I'm often nostalgic and i like thinking about the past. There are specific memories that i hold dear and remember very clearly, and the common thing they have is feelings. Moments when i was feeling something strongly, are like yesterday. I like thinking about them, it kinda makes me emotional ngl but i guess thats a human thing? But like, i remember lots of things and details about those moments and i miss them a lot. I even sometimes wear the same clothes, eat the same thing, talk to the same friend or read old messages on the same day that memory happened. Idk, its like, painful but also enjoyable. I even miss the times when i was suffering- there just has to be valued moments, precious feelings and connection to that moment and ill remember that forever. I want to go to the same place, at the same hour with the same people sometimes. Even wear similar clothes maybe. So basically i have some memories that i hold dear to myself and theyre all connected to how i was feeling at that moment. Present.. I usually forget present even exists. Dont have much to say about it. Future can be terrifying but also exciting. Its kind of a source of hope sometimes. And when its stressing, i try to go with the flow because i cant change anything. I try to let things just happen. However if i do have a control over it, ill try to use that to my advantage.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? Unless the person is a disgusting creature and im busy, id gladly help them. I mean, it wont harm to just make some things better. Only if im fine with their request though, if i feel like i cant do it or handle it i probably wont do it.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? To some degree, yes. Since life is life, nothing will be consistent all the time but i definitely prefer it, doesnt mean that i cant survive without it though. I don't really know how to answer this in any other way.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? I try to solve problems in efficient ways, yes. But honestly.. It's so god damn hard to get motivated or not get distracted. Like i have no energy, zero motivation and will. I find it really hard to take action and be actually productive, which is why i wish i had someone in my life that could push me a little. I started taking action with very small steps but that took me like, 3 years☠️I'm a huge procrastinator, very disorganized as well. But i think with just a little push and support id be fine- I find value and meaning in them, i might not be the best at being productive but im always trying to improve that.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? i think i tend to do that. Its mostly because im worried for others and their mental health and well being. (explained it in another paragraph) Also because i want their life to be better. Or in some cases i kind of try to control people and make them do things based on what i think is right. I'm talking about responsibilities lmao.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? I like thinking n dreaming- its an enjoyable and meaningful way to spend time. as i listed i also like watching videos -mostly about crime- designing drawing discovering new stuff etc. Also making scenarios in my head, its really enjoyable to me. The type of things i watch can be completely different and unrelated. One day im watching a video about brain structure and for the rest of the week im binge watching true crime stories. I like the mystery and learning the progress of solving crimes, im basically attracted to the progress, i think.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? I mostly write and take notes, i find that to be really helpful. I also try to watch videos about whatever im learning, but class environment is usually stressing+distracting for me. I prefer to study by myself in a social environment. Like libraries, maybe? Theres people around but everyones quiet, itd be easier for me to focus. I cant focus well if the environment is noisy and distracting or if somethings going on, its really hard. I really suck at classes that involve logic, dont really like physical senses either. I'm good with memorization and creativity.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? honestly i dont think ive ever had the chance to do something like that so i dont know my potential for this one. When i want things to be easier, i usually break up whatever im struggling with to little tasks or information etc. So i guess it really depends.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? Self improvement and success, I have a bunch of goals. I started liking challenges, not so long ago- I've always desired to be perfect. Not your perfect, not his perfect but my perfect. My ideal self doesnt have to be extremely good at math, but has to look good, lets say. I'll try to be just fine at math and focus on looking good. That was just an example though. Everyones perfect is subjective and my definition of perfect, or more like my "ideal" self isnt that impossible to achieve, so im trying to be my ideal self to live an ideal life. I also want to learn lots of different stuff. I really love the potential our brains has, and i want to use it. Like everyhing is somehow interesting to some degree. I wanna see different places, experience different cultures, people, languages. I also want to learn different languages, theyre pretty important to me. Knowledge itself is important and valuable to me so i get a bit annoyed when someone has the "idc about other information who cares" attitude. I also want to study psychology as i was always interested in it even as a kid. By time that turned into criminology/ forensic psychology but i still find all of them interesting. I just want to do what i want and do things that are true to me.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? I guess my fear would be not living the life that i desire. My expectations are important for me and its my priority, not others expectations. I'm also scared of being exposed, ig. I really get uncomfortable whenever something triggers me, which usually happens by forcing me and my privacy, i panic a lot and that usually results in me acting aggressive- I hate having to talk about things that i dont like talking about. (i swear this isnt unrelated) I am a pretty empathetic person. Sometimes i feel like I can feel exactly what others are feeling, its just so intense and i can understand others easily too. It's like- when i see someone in a certain situation i try to figure out what they might be thinking or feeling, i think of many different possibilities but i can usually stick with one or two possibility. It's also pretty easy for me to figure out how one can get affected by certain situations or thoughts, if i know the person well. By time i figure people out and while i do that, i also find myself analyzing what they might be thinking, then how their feelings might get influenced by their previous thought, and how they might act on that. And im mostly not wrong. I am almost constantly observing and trying to understand people- the ones i care for. Now why? I've realized that i only do this to people who are close to me. Most of my friends and surroundings are not doing mentally well (at all) so it can be a little hard for me to deal with their emotions because even if they dont show it i still see it somehow and it apparently triggers my overprotective side. I didnt even know i was protective until people told me so. I thought it was normal. I'm not gonna talk too much about it since it got better and its not unhealthy as much, so im just gonna list some general traits that i have towards people around me. Since i can understand them easily i also know whats gonna hurt them or make them feel "something". Some people around us can be careless and i know that it might cause them harm so im always on guard if they ever get hurt or if someone tries to hurt them. I'm basically too scared to let them get hurt and heal by themselves because i just cant trust them. I cant trust people with their emotions because from what ive seen, many people just cant handle their emotions. People cant understand their emotions and it does nothing but harm. I'm afraid that they might not be capable of getting over things so i always have an eye on them, try to control things around me etc. And when i cant "protect" them, and they fall, i always think/feel like the worst is going to happen but everything mostly turns out fine- It's mostly caused by my distrust in others, i know. This trait of mine would exhaust me to a harming degree because i was always worrying about others well being because i know for sure that their mental health isnt fine. Now I'm actually better though. (just as a note, "others" here are not random people or a group of people, just individuals who are close and dear to me.)
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? honestly i dont know. everything is mostly the same or it just feels like it. which is why i want a change. But if i have to answer, it would be the times when things were calm and everything was smooth. Just peace. But if the reality were different, id say "when i achieved whatever i wanted and could feel at least a bit more free and satisfied with myself", That didnt happen just yet so yeah.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? When everyone around me is too much. When i cant handle everyones feelings and negativity, when it makes me nervous and causes me to lack focus which is already something i struggle with. Times when people make things harder, when i try my best to keep calm but theres always someone to bother me just for fun. High temper really sucks.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? I would say im pretty attached to reality, just in a different way. An example i can give- Although i like daydreaming (i am usually not aware of my surroundings-), creativity n artistic n all that stuff, i still can get myself back to reality pretty easily. This is actually a new thing for me, because i wasnt always like this. But i always had the ability to understand my emotions, reality and what might not/might be real. A few years back i was struggling a lot, specifically with anxiety and mental health. But whenever i felt those "negative emotions", i also knew that this was just how i was feeling and my feelings werent the reality. "Right now I'm feeling this way, but that might not be the reality. I shouldnt confuse my feelings with objective reality.". So that actually made it easier to be open to others opinions about me. I'm glad that i had/have that mindset, but even if i dont expect everyone to be like me, it can be really frustrating to watch others be too subjective. At first i was understanding, empathetic, kind. I understood that everyone had their own phases and everyone was different. I still do understand it, but i cant stand it anymore. Idk, like right now at some times i feel like people are just really too sensitive, and its so hard and frustrating to watch. Seeing, observing and dealing with specific type of people for just a few years actually changed me a lot. I generally care about reality itself, not whats going on around me though. + extra bc i have stuff to share I'm much more solution oriented when facing problems now. I hate constant complaints and doing nothing, i hate when people are always complaining about something, always crying and sitting but not doing anything about it to solve it, not taking responsibility of themselves and their life. Crying about how bad life is, or how they suck. That sht really triggers me sometimes. I really want to be harsh at times but i still know that theyre also struggling and hurting someone important is the last thing i wanna do so usually, i surprisingly share my opinions calmly with them. Yes, im boiling with rage inside and i want to punch everyone in that moment, but i can keep calm and give them advices on what they can do, indirectly.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? Anything that comes to my mind. Anything that id like to discuss with myself. I would even talk out loud, or i would just think about the past or make some weird scenarios in my head and laugh at my own jokes lol. • How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? it really depends again- im indecisive most of the time. If i know my direction and what i truly want, i wouldnt spend a huge amount of time into it. I probably wouldnt change my mind either. But if im still unsure and indecisive, if i also find it reasonable enough, i could change my mind. But in general when im trying to make a decision, because i see and value each option, it gets hard. Option A has this, Option B has that blah blah both of them are great, so which one should i choose? When im stuck i try to list the pros and cons and if i find the list convincing enough, i choose the best option. If im still indecisive, i just.. Choose one, literally. Or ask for help to get others perspectives on the topic, or even let them decide sometimes. • How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? Emotions are just as important as logic. I'm good at dealing with my emotions and even when it feels unbearable, i let myself feel everything and let the feelings flow. After that it really gets better. I usually know what im feeling or how something affected my emotions but i only think about them deeply once im alone, so i can focus on myself. I care a lot about objectivity, responsibilities and logic, Like a lot. But i actually just try to find balance. -the real problem here. How i scored %90 te and fi. So my decision on something really highly depends on the situation, questions like "how do you make decisions? logic or inner values uwu?" is really hard. Both. Sometimes i use my values, what i think is right and what feels right. Sometimes i use objectivity and logic, no matter how hard it might be. Thats why i struggle with typings most of the time. Honestly my "feelings" or "morals" value logic and my logic values feelings or inner values, whatever you call it.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? hm... I avoid directly disagreeing with them if its a sensitive topic and if i think it would be inappropriate to do so, i tell them that i understand and they got a point too (i really understand their point), then continue and tell them my personal opinion that is different from theirs and also explain the reason maybe. I try to have friendly conversations. That also depends on the person, some people are intimidating and i might not want to argue with them because it would be such a pain. If i really disagree with something and if i find the topic to be important to me, i would be honest. If its just a random conversation i try to take things easy, if its a discussion or an argument i am mostly blunt and honest about my opinions, if the conversation has to end it ends.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? again depends on the rule. I dont have anything against general rules. I dont have a problem with them if theyre right to me, if theyre nonsense, stupid or unnecessary i would definitely be bothered by it. Usually i dont break rules because why would i bother.. Theyre not too strict anyways.
I know this is long enough, but i have a few more extra things to share- you can skip it if you think this is enough
- I'm actually a pretty emotional person and i can be sensitive inside. But if you ask others, some will surprisingly say that i look cold and emotionless. Emotionless would be the last thing id be. I just keep them inside. Dont really show emotions, i mean i do but not the deep and real ones. That doesnt mean that im fake though, i just dont like expressing/talking about my feelings clearly, it kind of feels uncomfortable, sometimes embarrassing and awkward too. I like thinking about them, i like having them for myself but i usually wont show the true depth of them. I can also be sensitive, but people usually cant notice that.
-im really quick to judge. I keep my distance from others unless the environment is familiar to me. I don't have to feel particularly uncomfortable, i just dont like talking to people especially when im not close with them. Well when i do talk, i am extremely awkward that its painful. I listen to the other person, appreciate them etc but i cant find a single thing to say so i just smile or laugh awkwardly and.. try to find something normal or casual to reply with. I just suck so bad when im talking to strangers and even i if i want to start a conversation with someone, i cant because of my shyness. Having casual convos with people i dont know well is so hard and stressing sometimes, Makes me nervous and shy so i cant talk for the sake of socializing easily. I'm usually like this in social situations, however, when something has to be done i almost dont have any problems with it at all- like if i need to buy something, talk about a problem or ask for help, i can do it easily, while most of my friends are the opposite. They cant order the damn food for themselves but they can go socialize like its nothing.
-I'm easily drained. Most of the time even when im with my friends or people i love, i cant stand it sometimes. Idky i just feel very annoyed whenever someones approaching me- sometimes. If a group comes and talks to me and if im not moody at that time, ill talk with them. If they wont, i wont bother. I rarely feel energetic but when i do, its so silly.
-Like i said, i try to keep the balance in everything. If someone is feeling depressed, if no ones there to support them, id want to be there for them, even if its not the most logical decision. It might even harm me, it might be hard, but ill still try to be with them. No innocent human should feel lonely or unlovable. I'd want the same thing myself. Thinking how good it would feel like to have someones support instead of being alone if i were them, is also kinda what drives me. However if im clear that they dont want it and are uncomfortable ill just leave. Maybe others will tell me to leave it, to focus on myself. Even if im not good with people and i dont really like tiring myself too much for others, i still think in situations like these its better to do what you think is right. It just feels so wrong. Idk, if someones totally alone and suffering, i just cant stand that. Its really hard to explain since its kinda like a gut feeling. I guess its just that.. It means a lot to me?
-Or i value life in general. I dont like it when someone kills bugs or harmless creatures without thinking. Like.. is that really it? Thats a whole life. and you can just end it without even thinking? Idk if im just sensitive, but a life is a life for me. Which is why i want to help people or other beings. A life is a life, you cant change the whole world but you can change someones whole life and that means the world. Corny? Dunno, dont care. -Thats also why im so focused on self improvement and ideals, life is valuable and i dont want to waste it. I want to live my ideal life and desires
Thinking about typology is exhausting at this point lmao Some say te (or any other function) inferiors can use it only a little, some say they can develop it and use it better, some say we can use all of our main 4 functions properly. Honestly, im tired of that. I'm starting to question it, i mean i do know its just a theory and i shouldnt take it seriously but i just want a clear answer bruh?? What i learned from that is- anyone can be anything. Someone who uses their values can also be objective or take action, so theres no sense in saying that "this cant do that blah blah" I'm kinda sure that i use ne-si, i just want others opinions and different perspectives on this. I'm really doubting my type and myself at this point. I'm so sorry for this mess- i know its..uh a little too much. Thanks regardless.

As readers of these chronicles have no doubt realized, I have a lot of experiences. And while I try to relate as many as possible to you there are inevitably some I leave out for the sake of maintaining a good story flow, or because they aren’t relevant. But there are also some that are just too… crazy to easily explain.
Shortly after my stay on the undying world I found myself in a new kind of rest stop, though it barely resembled the cheap motels I was used to. Instead I appeared standing on a small platform, a good ten feet above what looked like some kind of arena. Infront of me was a podium with a number of displays that were currently blank.
“And here’s our challenger!” a loud voice called out before I could get my bearings. Looking up I saw the arena was surrounded by stands, mostly empty ones I should note. A man in a sharp suit stood in the middle of the arena with a bright spotlight on him, gesturing to me as he continued to speak to the crowd.
“It seems we have something of a grudge match for you today!” the announcer continued, speaking into a mic, “two world walkers from different species! To my left, on the red side, we have one of the esteemed Children of the Composers, calling himself, THE CONDUCTOR!”
As the crowd cheered I slowly looked at where a new spotlight glowed upon a red platform much like my own. Atop it stood a single figure, waving to the crowd, was my enemy the Conductor.
“And to my right, in the blue, we have a scientist from Earth, this is his first time in one of these contests so give a big welcome to THE TRAVELER!”
I was nearly blinded as I suddenly had a spotlight of my own. Shielding my eyes I squinted up at the light cheering I was, apparently, receiving.
“Since this is the first time for one of our competitors, and for anyone new to these proceedings, allow me to quickly go over the rules!” the announcer continued as the applause tapered off, “Each of these World Walkers has a grievance with the other, as such before we start each will make a demand which, should they win, will be enforced upon the looser. Once the stakes are set we proceed to the main game! Selected in advance for this match is Phantom Summoning Battle Royal! Each of the two World Walkers will be allowed to summon the phantom of someone they know, these phantoms will have all the abilities and skills of their real counterpart but will not be truly intelligent. In addition each phantom will consume a certain amount of energy capacity from their summoner, each competitor will start with a limited amount of energy with which to summon. But, with each new round their maximum energy will increase allowing them to summon more powerful phantoms. In addition, if one of your phantoms kills the phantom of your opponent you will steal half the energy value of that phantom from your opponent for your own use!
“After each round of summoning the phantoms will fight for ten minutes!” the announcer continued, “should one side’s phantoms be wiped out entirely all surviving phantoms will be allowed a single attack against the opposing World Walker. This continues until one of the competitors is unable to fight. Don’t worry though, in accordance with the Orange Entity Agreement no competitors can truly die in this fight, should an attack from an opposing phantom kill them they will be revived instantly. This will, however, cause them to lose!
“Now! On to the demands!” the announcer gestured towards the Conductor and, to my amazement, slid first across the ground then through the air till he was standing next to my nemesis, “Should you win, what is it you request?”
“My opponent was once a good friend of mine,” the Conductor started, “ever since he got his new memory module he’s been turned against me by some unknown force. Should I win I request his memory module be removed so that we might once again become friends!”
“How touching,” the announcer said, then, with a gesture, slid through the air till he was next to me, “and what about you, Traveler, what do you request upon winning?”
“I,” I admit I was still somewhat in shock at this but doing my best to recover I responded, “I would like if the Conductor would leave me the hell alone.”
“Fascinating!” the announcer said, sliding back through the air until he was hovering over the center of the arena, “with those demands, I’ll pass to our current Commentators. The Storyteller and the Battlemaster!”
“Thanks Announcer,” a familiar voice echoed through the arena, one I recognized as the Storyteller who’d I’d encountered last time I fought against the Conductor, “Two very different demands, wouldn’t you say Battlemaster?”
“Indeed,” a deeper voice I didn’t recognize replied, “very different.”
“On one hand the Conductor’s request appears to be couched in the idea of friendship, which we all know is one of the most powerful forces in any plotline,” the storyteller continued, “On the other hand having your mind wiped is a very serious consequence, akin to death, whereas the Traveler has requested something much less damaging to an ongoing story.”
As they spoke the displays in front of me lit up, showing a gauge with what I guessed was my ‘energy limit’ as the announcer explained. Another display simply had a handprint, so I carefully placed my hand there and… nothing happened. Was this how I was supposed to confirm my summons or something? For all the talking that had happened I didn’t really been told much. But that aside who would I summon? My first thought was the Saint of Battle, she was armed, skilled in combat and someone I considered a friend.
As soon as I thought that her image appeared on another part of the display along with a gauge that showed eleven bars. I quickly figured out that was how much energy she required to be summoned, and based on the other display I only had two blocks of energy to use. Perhaps unsurprising that she required more than the energy I started with.
“And it seems we have our first summon from the Conductor!” the storyteller announced, causing me to look up. Across the arena from me another person faded into existence, shrouded in a red haze, presumably to indicate which side he was on. This person was clearly the same race as the Conductor but wore something not to dissimilar from a martial arts Gi one might find on Earth. And, interestingly, hovering above the persons head was a name ‘First Student of a Martial King.’
“The summon appears to be some kind of Martial Arts student, judging by the name and outfit,” the Storyteller echoed my thoughts, “an interesting but safe choice for a first summon, well rounded abilities and some combat experience, easily able to fit with the minimal energy available this early in the game.”
I searched my memory for someone who knew how to fight but wouldn’t cost much. Unfortunately most of the people I’ve met weren’t fighters, they were researchers, scholars… mages.
I quickly pictured Alexandrite in my mind, the mage friend to the hero Aaron from one of my past worlds. Obviously Aaron, able to break free of any constraints, would be far too expensive but maybe his friend was weaker. And, thankfully, she only cost one bar of my available two. With another thought I confirmed the summon and saw half of my short energy bar drain and the woman I’d met once months ago faded into existence, surrounded in a blue haze. Interestingly above her was another title, this one reading ‘Only Friend of a Fallen Hero.’ And I wondered who was coming up with these names.
“Looks like the Traveler has made his first summon as well,” the Storyteller continued, “a woman in a scholars robe, perhaps some flavor of magic user? It’ll be an uphill battle for a mage against a fighter, don’t you agree Battlemaster?”
“Yes,” the deeper voice replied, “uphill.”
“But by summoning a woman he causes the viewer to instinctively be drawn to his side to her over a man,” replied the Storyteller, “a very shrewd tactic.”
“First round,” the Announcer interrupted, floating over the center of the arena, one hand held above him which he brought down in a sudden motion, “fight!”
Immediately the First Student the Conductor had summoned dashed forward, towards the phantom of Alexandrite. She looked… startled? She only started to react as the martial artist made it halfway across the arena, waving a hand in front of her, drawing out a large rune in the air. She barely finished before the other phantom reached her, activating the rune and sending forth a beam of energy, which the Conductor’s summon easily dodged and slammed his fist into her stomach. A few more blows and she fell to the ground, unmoving.
“And we have a winner!” the Announcer said. Suddenly I found myself standing in the center of the Arena, barely able to take in what had happened when the Conductor’s summon appeared and threw a punch at me. I flinched back but my shield easily took the hit and, an instant later, I was once more on my platform.
“As expected, a mage is a poor matchup against a fighter,” the Storyteller prattled above me, “but no one likes seeing a woman brutalized, which quickly grants the Traveler the moral high ground, if not the practical one.”
Almost instantly the Conductor summoned another phantom, this one looking very similar to the first with the title ‘Second Student of a Martial King.’ Was he planning to summon an entire school of martial artists? It seemed odd to me but clearly he knew what he was doing so I couldn’t underestimate him.
I couldn’t risk another magic user, I decided, I needed a good frontline first. Feeling more relaxed, now that I at least felt I understood the rules, I once again scanned my memory and landed upon the adventuring party I’d met in the world of The First Man. Mart, the essence user, was my first thought, but I quickly dismissed the idea, he was another mage type. No, I needed the leader of that group, what was his name… Riginald!
His face appeared on the screen and, thankfully, he cost only three bars of energy, one less than the four I found myself with. It seemed that while killing a summon allows you to steal half the energy they’re worth, it’s rounded down so the one bar Alexandrite cost was fully refunded. If my guess was correct Riginald would give the Conductor one bar should he fall. Not wanted to test if there was a time limit to how long I had to summon, I confirmed I wanted Riginald and he soon faded into existence before me, his title was, oddly, ‘Heir to a Shattered Land.’
“And fight!” declared the Announcer, signaling the start of the second round. Immediately Riginald snapped into action, showing much greater battle sense than Alexandrite, drawing a flintlock pistol from his belt, aiming and firing off a shot at the nearest of the two martial artists who both ducked sideways just as he fired.
But something odd was going on with them, the first student had previously taken a decent few seconds to cross the arena but now seemed to be moving much faster, keeping pace with the newest summon. Before Riginald could draw his second flintlock they were upon him, forcing him to drop the expended weapon and use his saber. At first I thought he’d missed entirely, not unsurprising given the nature of the weapon, but as the melee began I noticed some blood on the first student’s arm, possibly just a grazing hit but still some damage.
Riginald was handling himself better in combat against the two alien brawlers, but it was quickly apparent his combat skill wasn’t on par with theirs. Only his breastplate and the extra reach his saber gave him allowed him to fight them. Unfortunately it didn’t last, the second student managed to grab Riginald’s sword arm following an attack, which gave the first student an opening to kick Riginald’s legs out from under him. A few well placed blows on the fallen warrior and the round ended. Once more I found myself on the arena floor, this time both of the students threw attacks and while neither made it through my barrier, I noticed that the first student’s attack got further than it had before.
“And that puts the Conductor up with two summons and two wins,” the Storyteller said over the loudspeaker as I reappeared on my platform, “It will be hard for him to recover from this position. On the other hand readers love an underdog so falling behind like this does leave him with a narrative advantage. The Conductor’s strategy seems to rely heavily on the power of friendship, as his choice of summons seems to reinforce, but I’d say the Traveler’s choice of lower stakes and underdog storyline is superior.”
As the annoying Storyteller spoke the Conductor made his next summon, not even hesitating as the displays unlocked and updated with two more bars of energy. I could see his smug grin across the arena as the Third Student of a Martial King faded into existence.
I quickly ignored him, leaning against my own lectern and raking my brain for a solution. I still didn’t have enough energy to summon the Saint of Battle, who was one of the strongest warriors I knew. But even I didn’t know if she would be able to go against three enemies alone. Other fighters I’d met popped into my mind, Aaron, the broken hero, required nine bars of energy. The First Man required twenty-three, surprisingly. On a whim I pictured Purses, who likely had the most destructive power of anyone I’d ever met, even if he was technically a machine, and wasn’t surprised by his two hundred some odd energy cost.
What I needed now, I realized, wasn’t a fighter, I needed someone who could simply hold the summons of the Conductor. I knew some very powerful people, but their energy costs were more than I could manage. If I could just delay until I could afford them I might be able to turn this around. I thought about passing the round, but I wouldn’t be any better off next round and I was worried about how the first student had been faster and stronger in the second round. No I needed a defensive option, somehow who could take or avoid hits.
Someone who couldn’t die.
I grinned as a face appeared on the display, requiring only one bar of energy to my surprise, and confirmed the summon just before the countdown ended.
A simple man in jeans and a tee-shirt faded into existence, an empty smile on his face. Hovering above his head was the title ‘Hopeless Guide to an Eternal World.’
“Third round, fight!” the Announcer declared, and the three students on the Conductor’s side leapt into action. As I’d feared they were faster than previous, it seemed that for every student they grew stronger. I wondered if they were somehow making use of the Harmony for the self-buffing ability, it seemed like something that would be in its wheelhouse.
Quickly the three martial artists surrounded the guide, who had barely taken a few slow steps forward, and began laying into him. In seconds they had him on the ground and landed several blows, causing him to stop moving. For a moment I was concerned, as the three alien summons seemed to prepare to strike me, was the phantom not immortal like the man it was based on? But after a few seconds it became clear the round hadn’t ended, the three enemy summons exchanging confused looks when, behind them, the guide slowly pushed himself to his feet.
Seemingly angered by his refusal to die they quickly began to beat on him once more, landing punches with such coordination it could only be the work of the Harmony. One would stand in front of the guide while another stood behind him, and they would both land powerful punches to his chest, right where his heart was, that I was certain would kill a normal man. And while the Guide collapsed he didn’t stay down, starting to stand only to be kicked back down. For ten minutes they beat on him, but by the end the round was called without a winner.
“What a turnaround!” the Storyteller said excitedly, “it would seem the defensive abilities of the Traveler’s phantom are rather extreme, able to take that kind of beating. But the real question is what does this mean narratively? No one likes watching one man getting beaten up, perhaps this is another ploy to increase his underdog status while remaining defensive? In any case this is an interesting development, wouldn’t you agree Battlemaster?”
“Yes,” said the deeper voice, “interesting.”
I was just glad the plan had worked, I wasn’t sure if the rules of this strange game would preserve his unchanging status since that was based on his world’s oddities. Thankfully it had, the only issue I could see now was if the Conductor had some way to defeat this specific ability. I felt somewhat heartened as the Conductor took a moment to glare at his displays before summoning the fourth student. I now had six bars of energy free, which still wasn’t enough for any of the strong warriors I knew so I decided to hold off, passing the turn and relying on the guide’s durability.
It was clear now, if it hadn’t been before, that for each student summoned they all got stronger, something the Storyteller commented on, putting it up to the ‘power of friendship’ but I mostly ignored him. Watching and wincing as the four martial artists beat the daylights out of my phantom, hoping that these phantoms weren’t real beings. Ten minutes later the round ended in another draw.
The next two rounds passed much the same, there were now six students of the martial king against the guide, I held off summoning anyone new to save energy. At two energy gained per round I’d have ten free, one short of the Saint of Battle, but enough to summon Aaron. As I pondered if I should risk it or wait for more energy the Conductor shouted.
“Bullshit!” the alien shouted, “I demand a review of that phantom!”
“On what grounds?” the Announcer asked, sliding through the air to stand next to the Conductor.
“No mere human can take that kind of beating without dying!” the Conductor insisted, “much less without any kind of injury at all!”
“Very well, I shall send this to the judges for review,” the Announcer said, and before anything else could happen everything seemed to freeze in place. Some… presence had filled the room so totally that nothing could move, even my eyes were frozen in place, I couldn’t even feel my heart beating. It took me a moment to realize it, but this feeling was virtually identical to the warning one got when they had one minute left in a rest stop. Was this place run by the same entities as those?
Just as suddenly as it came the presence left and everyone was left gasping for air, all except the Announcer who seemed unphased.
“The judges rule that the phantom is properly balanced and allowed,” he announced, “as penalty for wasting the time of the Cricle Fourteen Orange Star Entity, the host of this program, one bar of energy shall be taken from the Conductor and given to the Traveler! Now, on with the Summoning!”
And like that I had enough for the Saint of Battle, without a second thought I confirmed the summon. Unlike all the others she didn’t simply fade into existence, but seemed to descend from the heavens on a beam of golden light.
“And it seems like we have our first World Walker summoned!” the Storyteller said, his voice still shaking slightly from the previous events, though he was good at hiding it, “And what a beauty she is too! Unless I miss my guess, that’s the Saint of Battle!”
Apparently unable to summon another student the Conductor passed and the Announcer started the seventh round.
This was my first time seeing the Saint fight, even if it was just a phantom of her, but I was impressed. At first she lifted her rifle and snapped off a number of shots, obliterating one of the Conductor’s phantoms in a cloud of blood. But she was never going to get many shots off like that with how fast the students had gotten, and she was forced into melee. But, to my relief, she managed to easily hold her own. With skillful use of her rifle and some simple attacks she was able to fend off the students, matching them in speed and strength. For a while they fought, the guide standing off to one side watching passively, and I was getting worried she’d be overwhelmed as it seemed the guide wasn’t good for much but taking hits. But five minutes into the brawl a snapped shot struck another student, vaporizing the alien martial artist. Just as they’d gotten stronger with each new student added, they also got weaker as their numbers waned. By the time the round was called a draw only two students remained.
I could practically feel the Conductor’s glare across the arena as my display updated. Two energy for the round and four from defeated enemies I now had six to spend. Apparently, each of the students were worth two energy which was mildly surprising. If my math was right, the Conductor should have two or three energy to spend, with four tied up in his remaining phantoms. I saw no reason to waste time or energy and so I passed my turn to summon, leaving the Saint and Guide to fight the next round, confident they would win.
Then the Conductor did something I didn’t expect, he sacrificed his two current summons, causing them to vanish while freeing up his energy. I hadn’t even known you could do that, but as I was considering the implications a new figure popped into the air on the Conductor’s side, landing on his side and tumbling sideways before coming to a rest.
Above his head ‘The Traveler’ appeared.
“Now that’s an interesting development,” the Storyteller commented.
“Yes,” the Battlemaster said, “interesting.”
“Summoning your enemy is always a gambit, while the phantoms aren’t truly conscious beings they will act just like their real counterparts. Often times one will summon their friends to fight for them in these games, and, even if they know the other phantom is their enemy will struggle to attack a friend. So I guess we get to see how the Traveler’s friend would react to having to fight him.”
“Round start!” the announcer shouted.
The Saint of Battle lifted her rifle and fired a burst of three shots, two impacting my phantom’s barrier while the third got through and blew a chunk of the phantom’s chest out.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, I admitted to myself as the Conductor, a surprised look on his face, appeared in the center of the arena and was subsequently gunned down as well.
“And the winner is The Traveler!” the announcer shouted to scattered applause, I was busy trying to decide how to feel about how willing the Saint of Battle was to gun me down like that.
“His demand, was for the Conductor to leave him alone,” the announcer continued, “thus, in the future the Conductor will be unable to challenge him to battles in other Orange Entity arenas!”
“Wait,” I froze, “but he can still bother me in other worlds?”
“Correct! The Orange entity battle arenas can only enforce rewards within their own domains, natural worlds and other entity rest stops are beyond the powers of our host!”
“Oh, god damnit.”
***** Discord - Patreon *****
(actual chapter tomorrow XD)

Like the title says, I was diagnosed with a nonverbal learning disorder. It translates to an inability to understand most nonverbal forms of communication. This includes gestures, implications, tone of voice, and most of body language. It does not mean I don’t feel emotion, or that I don’t try to interpret what someone means when they seem to be trying to imply something. What it does mean, is that when I talk to someone, I usually miss 80% (communication in general is 20% what is said and 80% nonverbal) of what they are communicating.
This is problematic when I go to church. People say some weird stuff when they are interpreting the gospel and trying their best to understand. My entire life of reading the scriptures, attending church meetings and even serving a mission, albeit a shorter one, was riddled with confusion, anxiety, and an inability to fit in with others at church. This has led to me forming a negative psychological association to most things related to the church.
You might say the church is a personal venture not reliant on others? When I consume all of the media produced by the church and its leadership, I don’t really feel anything special about it. In fact, with the Gospel Topics Essays, I feel even more spiritually disfigured. It’s almost as if the basis of what I looked to as absolute truth is cracked and wearing away. It leaves me attempting to reconcile the gaps introduced by the essays. Some have said to “not read things that introduce confusion,” though if I internalize that, most of my personal history with the church becomes wasted. It all introduces confusion.
So what now? I’m leaning into conference with a heavy skepticism towards the primary feeling they are attempting to invoke. We seek for truth, right? What truths are conveyed to those of us that are unable to interpret nonverbal communication?
Meh, these are ramblings. I will read and reply to the comments on my post (if any), but I don’t get a good feeling for the quality of comments as I’m expecting most of the comments to base their message on “feeling the spirit.” That hasn’t worked for me in the past.

26F here from India. I've been suffering from scalp Psoriasis for the past 3 years. It has obviously fucked up my scalp and just a whole lot overall. Last year i went through a period of extreme stress and anxiety and i started seeing a lot of hairloss and hair whitening so i finally decided to get it checked.
Doctor mentioned i have Alopecia. This honestly came out of nowhere for me because while i can definitely see that the area where i part my hair in the front and back shows a little of my skin and maybe that's a bald patch, I thought that's probably due to Psoriasis and the hairfall that comes with it. I've definitely lost a lot of volume of my hair. It's definitely not extreme case of balding at this point. If anything recently it stopped falling off quite a bit and i think on a daily basis it falls anywhere from 50-70 strands max. And 100 when i wash it alternate days. I was actually feeling good about it and wanted to get the Psoriasis checked and just mentioned my whitening of my hair.
Anyways, i asked her what treatment options do i have and she suggested me PRP/GFC. These treatments basically ensure that you take growth cells from your blood and put them all over your scalp with needles. It costs a lot and is painful too. I asked her if there is any medicine that i can take and she mentioned that for Female Pattern Alopecia this is the only way.
I'm just torn and honestly just tired. Maybe she is right and i will start seeing the baldness in few more months. I do sometimes feel like.may e new hair is t growing but i just can't tell if it's because of psoriasis or Alopecia anymore. But 6 sessions of PRP and then continuous sessions every 6 months for the rest of my life is just. I don't know.
So here to ask reddit some help. Does this really work??? Is there really no medicine that works?? I'm very very torn on this. I definitely don't wanna suffer through baldness and if i can stop it now it'll be good. But i also don't wanna put my body through something like PRP if i have the options.
So just wanna know your journey guys.

Hey so here’s some context: A sports teacher from school that I (19F) had known for a good number of years passed away from cancer at a young age. I never knew that she was sick so it was definitely a big shock that has resulted in bad health anxiety about cancer.
It’s been just over a year and half since she died and I’ve thought about her everyday since then. Which in itself is unusual since I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. But I do remember being kinda nervous to speak to her as I got older since I was afraid of saying something stupid in our few conversations (not that she would pick up on it if I did, she was too kind for that haha). But these thoughts are fine as they no longer disrupt my work or my social life etc.
Since her death, I’ve done the usual things: watched her funeral, been to her grave etc. But as time has passed, I’ve noticed a cycle occurring. Basically, I’ll feel angry about it, sad, guilty over conversations we had not knowing they were the last ones and then nothing! I’d feel nothing about it whatsoever. It’s so strange.
A clear example of this: Yesterday I went to some cool places with my family and had a great time but thoughts that kept appearing in my mind was ‘I hope that [teacher’s name] got to see something like this before she died’ etc.
Yet today is completely different. The thoughts about her are still there, but no feeling whatsoever? Weird right? It’s as if someone switched off the emotion part of my brain overnight. Just to test this, I decided to look at a photo of her which usually makes me feel at least something, but today I felt nothing! And to be meta, as I’m typing this out I’m feeling nothing. No sadness, no happiness, no anger, nothing!
The first time this weird feeling happened was many months ago, and I assumed that it meant that I had permanently moved on from her death. But then the feelings of anger and sadness returned, so did I do something wrong during the period of ‘no feeling’? Is there something I’m meant to do to prevent these negative feelings from coming back?
The reason I ask this is because, I’ve never felt this way about someone dead before. For example, my grandparents have passed on and fortunately they all lived long happy lives but I don’t remember going through this cycle with any of them. But I am with this teacher who wasn’t even a family member! It’s so weird, is this normal even a year and half later?
So here are my questions:

1. Is this feeling of ‘no feeling’ normal? And if so, why does it happen?
   
2. During this weird ‘no feeling’ period is there something that I’m meant to be doing to prevent the return of the cycle of anger and sadness? Any advice is appreciated!
   

Been with my therapist for a couple of years and she has been fantastic.
Recently, we talked in detail about a really significant, traumatic event for the first time... I've had a lot going on outside of therapy as well and have been quite overwhelmed. As a result I've been feeling pretty insecure in the relationship.
We've had pretty significant disagreements in the past (once or twice, not all the time) but I always felt like, even if she hurt me or was too much, it was done with good intentions and the following session, we talked it out, she was empathetic and it felt like we were on the same team.
Last week, we had a disagreement to the point I was really considering just terminating, I felt so awful. I came home and relapsed (bulimia) after 6 months in recovery. It did not feel empathetic or done with the best of intentions. She took real offense at something I said (not anything critical of her) and just shut down on me completely. We barely spoke for the rest of the session (again, she never usually leaves me in silence, it's triggering and upsetting for me, when I asked for help, she just responded that I could talk about whatever I wanted).
I forced myself back this week, and it was just as bad. It didn't help that she was letting someone else out, laughing and joking, then literally just sat down and stared at me, no warmth, no kindness. She seemed exasperated before I even spoke. I tried really hard to open up and share what was going on for me, including what I was trying to say last time, which was really vulnerable and difficult and tried to explain that whatever shut her down, I wasn't trying to upset her, I was just trying to express this. She just said that we've talked about all this before (topics, maybe, but isn't the point to get deeper over time? I shared things I haven't before, it was super dismissive) and was annoyed at me all over again.
She was insistent that both weeks, she was supportive, empathetic, maintaining her positive regard etc and was open to hearing me - but I really don't feel she was. Maybe it's all in my head but I didn't feel it. I get that maybe I hurt her in some way and maybe that caused her to shut down or withdraw from me, I can be OK with that. But I honestly feel like I'm being gaslit here. I don't need her to tell me what triggered her or anything like that, but I feel like I do need her to admit that there was something happening on her side too. She said a couple of things which really felt like there was no therapeutic value and were just designed to be hurtful.
I left while full on crying, she didn't even off me a hug (which she always does). I get the session ends when it does, but she just felt cold.
How or do I go back next week? I would like to work this out but I feel like I put myself out there and tried to resolve it and she gave me absolutely NOTHING in return. It was just things take time. Felt like it was ALL on me.
So I'm thinking my options are:

1. go back and pretend like this never happened and try and pick up the work we were doing to try and recreate was we had
2. go back and start from 0 with really easy topics and build trust slowly
3. go back and try and talk about it more
4. terminate

Hey so here’s some context: A sports teacher from school that I (19F) had known for a good number of years passed away from cancer at a young age. I never knew that she was sick so it was definitely a big shock that has resulted in bad health anxiety about cancer.
It’s been just over a year and half since she died and I’ve thought about her everyday since then. Which in itself is unusual since I don’t remember thinking about her everyday when she was alive. But I do remember being kinda nervous to speak to her as I got older since I was afraid of saying something stupid in our few conversations (not that she would pick up on it if I did, she was too kind for that haha). But these thoughts are fine as they no longer disrupt my work or my social life etc.
Since her death, I’ve done the usual things: watched her funeral, been to her grave etc. But as time has passed, I’ve noticed a cycle occurring. Basically, I’ll feel angry about it, sad, guilty over conversations we had not knowing they were the last ones and then nothing! I’d feel nothing about it whatsoever. It’s so strange.
A clear example of this: Yesterday I went to some cool places with my family and had a great time but thoughts that kept appearing in my mind was ‘I hope that [teacher’s name] got to see something like this before she died’ etc.
Yet today is completely different. The thoughts about her are still there, but no feeling whatsoever? Weird right? It’s as if someone switched off the emotion part of my brain overnight. Just to test this, I decided to look at a photo of her which usually makes me feel at least something, but today I felt nothing! And to be meta, as I’m typing this out I’m feeling nothing. No sadness, no happiness, no anger, nothing!
The first time this weird feeling happened was many months ago, and I assumed that it meant that I had permanently moved on from her death. But then the feelings of anger and sadness returned, so did I do something wrong during the period of ‘no feeling’? Is there something I’m meant to do to prevent these negative feelings from coming back?
The reason I ask this is because, I’ve never felt this way about someone dead before. For example, my grandparents have passed on and fortunately they all lived long happy lives but I don’t remember going through this cycle with any of them. But I am with this teacher who wasn’t even a family member! It’s so weird, is this normal even a year and half later?
So here are my questions:

1. Is this feeling of ‘no feeling’ normal? And if so, why does it happen?
   
2. During this weird ‘no feeling’ period is there something that I’m meant to be doing to prevent the return of the cycle of anger and sadness? Any advice is appreciated!