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Last week (3/23/2023-3/25/2023) was the inaugural Juanita Brooks Utah History Conference held at Utah Tech University. What ensued was a celebration of Juanita Brooks’ legacy, a variety of presentations, and a guided tour (Barbara Jones Brown & Richard Turley) of Mountain Meadows. Naturally, given the conference’s name-sake, the theme of standing for truth over power remained steady. Two talks stood out to me related to this topic. The talks were given by Greg Prince (DOM and the Rise of Modern Mormonism, Gay Rights and the Mormon Church, Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History, etc.) and Paul Reeve (Century of Black Mormons, Religion of a Different Color, Let’s Talk About Race and the Priesthood, etc), both highly respected in their respective fields of study. These talks particularly touched me because they penetrated a vein that has significantly bothered me and has repeatedly disrupted my sleep: The institutional suppression of truth.
Greg Prince - Subsequent talk on Lester Bush following the presentation of the inaugural Juanita Brooks Award.(if timestamp doesn't work ff to 40m 25s)
To the surprise of those attending, during the Friday morning session of the conference, Greg Prince presented the inaugural Juanita Brooks Award to Lester Bush. Lester was not able to attend, but his wife was there to accept the award. Following the presentation, Greg Prince gave a moving talk dedicated to his best friend, Lester Bush. In 1973 Lester published the groundbreaking Dialogue article MORMONISM'S NEGRO DOCTRINE: AN HISTORICAL OVERVIEW. This article became the foundation of what would become the “new” Mormon history regarding race and the priesthood/temple ban. Prince got to know Bush shortly after the publication of this monumental article. What followed the publication of Bush’s article was informal discipline that took many forms. Prince got to witness it all first-hand.
At a time when Spencer Kimball reorganized the office of Seventy, Bush was kept from ordination to the office of High Priest with no explanation while all his peers had their expected upgrade. After his success disrupting the Leonard Arrington led History Division of the Church, senior apostle Mark Peterson sought after other “intellectuals”. Lester Bush was one of those targeted. Despite direct and harsh calls from Peterson, Bush’s Stake President (Bill Marriott) refused to follow through with disciplinary action because he knew it was wrong to do so. Lester was a pariah among his own. The result of decades of social ostracization and “soft” discipline (described by one anonymous GA as “the worst'') was Bush’s inactivity in the Church (~30 years).
In 2009, Brent Rushforth (Director of Dialogue when Bush’s 1973 article was published) shared with Prince and Bush that he had recently inquired of Jordan Kimball (grandson of Spencer) and Rebecca Kimball (wife of Jordan) regarding whether Lester’s 1973 article had any impact on Spencer Kimball and the 1978 “revelation”. Jordan assuredly told Brent that they need not wonder any longer. Later, when Prince was able to get Rebecca on the record, she explained that upon Spencer Kimball’s death, son Ed Kimball came across Bush’s 1973 Dialogue article marked up heavily in Kimball's personal home study. None of the other Dialogue articles in Kimball’s study were marked up in his distinctive red pencil. Vindication was on the horizon.
In 2014 Prince emailed his good friend Jeffrey R. Holland to see if there was any way Bush’s work could further be validated by the Church. Shortly after, Bush was invited to give the 2015 Sterling M. McMurrin Lecture on Religion & Culture at the University ot Utah. Lester got to meet Steven Snow (then Church Historian, 2012-2018) the same day, as well as Marlin Jensen (the former Church Historian, 2005-2012). Both validated Lester and his monumental work. In addition, Lester and Darius Gray got to meet, in person, for the first time. The following morning, Lester got further reassurance from Elder Holland that Lester was an exceptional person and that his work was valuable to Mormon history.
Paul Reeve - "Riding Herd with Juanita Brooks: A View of Latter-day Saint History from the Ragged Edge" (if timestamp doesn't work ff to 2h 46m 3s)
The final talk of the Friday morning session was given by Paul Reeve, titled, "Riding Herd with Juanita Brooks: A View of Latter-day Saint History from the Ragged Edge". The imagery outlined in his talk was outstanding. He described Brooks’ upbringing on the outskirts of “Dixie” (Bunkerville Nevada). The ultimate edge of the edge of Deseret. Not only was her residence on the edge, but so was her approach to the gospel and her Church. Those around Juanita wondered whether she would talk/think her way out of the Church as she questioned traditional narratives and biblical fundamentalism. After she published her groundbreaking book The Mountain Meadows Massacre (1950) Juanita wondered whether she would be disciplined by her male Church leaders. She decided that if she would not be allowed to retain her membership and write objective history, then she would choose truth and forfeit her membership. This stalwart resolve served as the foundation of what would become the “new” Mormon history. Honesty became more important than perpetuating dogma. As a result of writing honest Mormon history, Juanita forced the Mormon Church to confront its past and decide what they were going to do with their future. The Church, unfortunately, rejected truth and transparency in her lifetime.
Early in Juanita's life, she was given sage advice in the form of an analogy. She was taught ( I paraphrase) that in order to guide a herd of cattle, you must persuade from the edge. You can not confront a head strong herd head-on and expect the cattle to remain cohesive. Worst case scenario, conflict results, and cowboys and cattle get hurt and lost. Juanita took this counsel to heart and rode that “ragged edge” of the herd, gently guiding the Mormon Church toward honest inquiry. Regardless, she would never see the fruits of her labor as she died in 1989, not long after the Arrington history department was dismantled and moved to BYU. A form of formal denunciation of honest inquiry.
Reeve explained that he values this advice, and lives by it, as he grew up ranching in south-eastern Utah and is actively teaching church membership the truth about the Church and race relations. Guiding a herd of headstrong cattle requires finesse. In an age where truth can not be contained, the importance of honest discourse has come front and center.
Following the panel presentations (Reeve include), one listener posed a question (if timestamp doesn't work ff to 3h 16m 10s) to the panel that consisted of Paul Reeve (UofU) and Janiece Johnson (BYU). Joseph Stuart (BYU) did a good job summarizing the attendee’s question. I’ll paraphrase (in case you didn’t watch the video):
We can clearly see that Juanita Brooks was riding the “ragged edge” of the church (same goes for Lester Bush). Who do you see riding that “ragged edge” of the Church today? What topics are they focusing on?
As the question was dictated, I looked forward to hearing what a BYU employee would provide for an answer (given the Church’s history of suppressing truth and deemphasis of controversial topics). After the question was posed, Johnson immediately deferred to Reeve. I wish I could pretend I was surprised. Reeve proceeded to name Taylor Petrey (Tabernacles of Clay) as an example of someone riding that edge concerning the Church’s evolving teachings related to gender and sexuality. This was a great example, and naturally, one that would make any orthodox member uncomfortable considering we were all attending a conference commemorating those in the past (Brooks and Bush) who were discarded when they published their seminal, controversial works. It was a surreal experience. For all we know, in 30 years, Taylor Petrey will be given the Juanita Brooks Award (despite the backlash he received from his excellent book and pivotal Dialogue article: Toward a Post-Heterosexual Mormon Theology).
In the end, the institutional hierarchy of the Church who proposed the 1978 “revelation” did not cite Lester Bush, but rejected him. Juanita Brooks never got to see her work appreciated by her beloved Church. Formal acknowledgement of the Church’s directing role in the Mountain Meadows Massacre didn’t happen until 2007. Only today do we embrace her objective and unapologetic view of the past. Today we celebrate the quasi church endorsed works of Turley and Brown as they publish authoritative texts on the Mountain Meadows Massacre. Today we watch scholars like Petrey lament the circumstances of LDS academics as the institutional Church entrenches itself into orthodoxy with commander Clark Gilbert at the helm. The leadership of the Church today, apparently, does not embrace the suppression of their predecessors (GTEs, JSPP, Saints, etc.)...
Or do they? Remember, Boyd K Packer, the zealous crony of Ezra Taft Benson and Mark E Peterson, the sworn enemies of “so-called scholars”, was acting president or president of the Q12 from 1994 to 2015. He sat at the head seat of every weekly coordination meeting of the Q12 for over 20 years, training and counseling just about every current member of the Q15 extensively. He watched the control of truth slip from his hands as technology reached frictionless levels of transference. He could no longer easily excommunicate those who published unflattering truths of his golden idols (his predecessors in Church leadership). Boyd was forced to concede with progress. The publication of the initial 13 Gospel Topics Essays (2013-2015) served as the metaphorical final 13 nails in his coffin (2015).
Now to my main point. The soul touching/crushing point that frequently makes its appearance in my heart/mind (most recently in St George). Why has the institutional Church refused to honestly confront its past? Brody, Brooks, Bush, Arrington, and Quinn were all attacked by their ecclesiastical leadership. Today, we hold up their scholarship and cite them in official Church publications. What is it about telling the truth that causes the Brethren to hunt for scholars? Why does paranoia abound regarding BYU and its faculty? Why do many members refuse to look into the past of their own Church beyond the correlated resources offered on LDS.org? My theory lies in the heart of Boyd Packer’s poignant advice to, then new GA, Lynn G. Robbins: “Which way do you face?”. The foundation of the LDS church is the reliability of modern prophets and their ability to receive and convey the mind and will of Deity. If the leadership of the Church loses this value proposition, then the Church is gone. Boyd’s advice is designed to maintain the idolatrous nature of the Q15. They give directions. We listen. A submissive, unquestioning membership is what they need for their Church to thrive. The absolute antithesis of unquestioning loyalty and obedience is inquiry. Curiosity is the root of academia. Questioning established tradition lies at the heart of refining truths. Academia strives to uncover every rock, illuminate every hidden corner, and question the questions. Fiat lux.
Naturally, inquiry will reveal unflattering elements of the beloved prophets, seers, and revelators of the Mormon past. Their teachings will be interpreted in a new light. Their journals will reveal their hidden intentions. Their accusers will be vindicated. The more you learn about the men in the ivory tower, behind the curtain, the more human they become. The cultural façade of prophetic infallibility drifts away with the myths of Santa Clause, Atlantis, and a moon made of bleu cheese. The 14 Fundamentals in Following the Prophet start to sound a little authoritative when you realize the leaders of the Church were simply selected through a network of nepotism and relations. The November 2015 Policy flip-flopping starts to make sense after contrasting it with John Taylor’s 1886 revelation and the Manifesto Woodruff and gang so reluctantly published. The institutional guiding principles that resulted in the SEC Order make a whole lot of sense after reading the lengths Joseph Smith went through to maintain his secrets in Nauvoo. Studying the past illuminates the present.
These men try so unbelievably hard to maintain a prophetic figure of perfection. President Russell Nelson taught, “Prophets are rarely popular. But we will always teach the truth!”. His closest ally and wife, Wendy, last year challenged the dwindling membership of both Europe and California in private broadcasts to question everything said by anyone besides President Nelson. How does a membership consisting of nuanced, informed, and participating individuals react to messages like this? I’ll tell you how I felt: skeptical. With every authoritative address and comment reliant on unrighteous dominion, the leadership of the Church thickens the doctrine of obedience over conscience.
This is Mormonism. Bending your soul to conform to the will of the Brethren. This is what historians like Juanita Brooks and Lester Bush refused to do. They gently pushed from the ragged edge, persuading the herd that is Mormonism toward truth and reconciliation. They paid socially for their guiding principles (truth). The stubborn cattle at the head of the herd believe they are guiding the masses, when in reality, those getting bruised and battered on the precipitous edges are ensuring goodness remains on the horizon. May we encourage and sustain those on the edge and continue to immortalize those that have gone before us. God bless Juanita and God bless Lester.
I will close with the following enlightening quote from Spencer W. Kimball, just as Prince did in his address [emphasis mine]:

“Now, my brothers and sisters, it seems clear to me, indeed, this impression weighs upon me—that the Church is at a point in its growth and maturity when we are at last ready to move forward in a major way. Some decisions have been made and others pending, which will clear the way, organizationally. But the basic decisions needed for us to move forward, as a people, must be made by the individual members of the Church. The major strides which must be made by the Church will follow upon the major strides to be made by us as individuals.” (President Spencer W. Kimball, Let Us Move Forward and Upward, April 1979 GC)

So which way do you face again, Boyd?

You read the title right. If Mario Was the Last Man on Earth is a Masterpiece.. This video is basically flawless. The concept is pure perfection. The dialogue is some of the best stuff in the SMG4 Series. Dare I even say it is better than the masterpiece that is Boys vs Girls? But the best part of this video has to be the ending. That final shot of everyone charging towards Mario might be the best shot in SMG4 history. The ending scene is also serves as a clever reference to the ending scene from the Season 3 episode "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus", where everyone is about to attack the main character (Mario/Stan) for ruining their MacGuffin (pizza/wish). Additionally everyone abandoning Mario over pizza and keeping Meggy who we all know is great at cooking is completely justified. Mario messing up the pizza is entirely his fault. I can’t even fathom how good it was to see mario get his deserved comeuppance. And I love how the Not Inviting Mario because He Ruins Everything trope was used in We Don’t Talk About Luigi. I can’t believe that SMG4 made a flawless masterpiece of a video. Dare I say it? Bravo Glitch.
So what’s the final rating?
4/10 have a happy april first everyone

I’ve been a long time fan, but I don’t know anyone who watches the show. I finally decided to show an h3 video to my boyfriend. I was scared about being able to somehow explain this intricate mess of a show to him but it would just be so nice to share all the h3 memes and lore with someone.
So we started watching a video and Gabe was calling in right at the beginng, I paused and tried my best to explain who he was, contemplating whether this was a stupid idea, cause it all sounded so silly, I’ve never talked to anyone about h3.
Then this man started wooooing along with Gabe immediately and he’s now saying fuck baby fuck yea to me at random times.
I guess I brought in a new subscriber woooooo

Hi All,
I'd like to learn about Facebook Ads and become an expert in marketing.
However, I have a few constraints that I need to work around.
I have a decent 9-5 job and cannot quit it for an internship at a marketing company due to financial obligations towards my family. I would take a pretty big pay-cut if I would do that, which is simply something I can not afford.
Also, I have no product or business of my own to promote using Facebook ads.
My goal is to learn Facebook ads, get good at running them, and eventually start a local service Ads agency. (Yes, I'm actually willing to learn the trade before starting an agency and using media buyers testimonials as my own, refreshing isn't it?)
Marketing and Ads have been on my mind for a while, and I would like to develop this skill to work for myself and be location-independent.
I'm reaching out to this Reddit to ask how I can learn Facebook ads, given these constraints.
I want to know what would be the optimal path for me to learn this trade on the side, while keeping my 9-5 but not just by watching courses or YouTube videos, but by actually implementing what I learn. I also have a limited budget for running ads, say $150 - $250 per month at most.
I would hope that we have some self-starters on this reddit, who have been in similiar situations.
Thank You.

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Estelle was the illegitimate child of the Duke who grew up under severe mistreatment. She tried to love the people around her all her life, but she was betrayed and sacrificed to the devil. Thus, she suffered in hell for 600 years. And then, one day… “Do you want revenge?” “If you wish, I will send you back to when you were at your brightest moment.” The devil’s whisper came. And, Estelle, who too ... Read The Lady’s Dark Secret - Chapter 37.5 - MangaPuma. Read more at https://mangapuma.com/the-ladys-dark-secret/chapter-37-5

So I (18f) and my friend (19f) have a friend who just turned 18. When he was 17 he started dating this 14yr old girl. We have told both of them that they respectfully need to break up because

1. Our male friend is legally an adult now so he can be charged with child endangerment and grooming.
   
2. She is 14 and she needs to focus on school, her future, and most importantly trying to find a guy more her age (because ofc if she's going to be stupid about it at least be legal).
   
3. If she is feeling suicidal she needs to go see an actual specialist and she needs to get help, she should never rely on another human for her overall happiness. (She's constantly accused us of making her suicidal and our friend says that she's been wanting to kill herself and he got with her so he could keep her from doing that).
   

There's probably more points to this but we found the girls mothers phone number and we tried telling her mom about it and explaining that this is illegal and that we can go to jail simply for having knowledge this is going on and that even because we tried to stop them they wouldn't listen and which can result in us going to jail to for being assumed accomplices.
It's no big surprise that the mom was also just as negligent and toxic as the little girl, all the mom kept saying was that it was ok because it was an online relationship and that it doesn't matter because they aren't having sex or anything.
At this point with no where else to turn me and my friend filled out an anonymous report to the police out online, we used one of those number tracing sites to find the address on the number, and we reported the mom being neglectful.
My friend and I have already texted the 18yr old friends mother and we've talked to her about it. Hopefully something is done because we genuinely don't want our 18yr friend to get beaten up and gang banged in prison because of this.
Any advice would be nice idk what to do anymore.

Continued in comments!!!
Now that I'm awake for a few hours without oxy, I thought I'd share my experience fully before I forget it all! This will also help me journal when I'm ready to sit up :)
I'm on my phone so I apologize for any glaring spelling errors, my autocorrect sucks.
Day Before surgery: my leave began the day before so I woke up early and had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and proceeded to sit in bed anxious about the phone call from the nurse. She thankfully called around 9:45 to confirm the time of surgery and my eating instructions. After that call I was so relieved I pooped twice 😅 I had started miralax on Tuesday one cap full a day to help soften things up for surgery on Friday 3/31.
I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and keeping my mind off of things and I'll say I wasn't anxious at all! If you've seen my prior posts, I was one of the most anxious people on this sub lol
I had a Chia Banana Boost smoothie from Tropical Smoothie cafe for lunch and later a bit of toast with some butter because that always helps my bowels start.
My husband got home from work and made me a seasoned chicken breast and white rice for dinner. I drank about 80oz of liquid throughout the day, including some Gatorade.
At 9PM I took my first pre-op shower with Dial soap and went to bed at 10PM. My alarm went off at 3:30 so I could do my second pre-op shower and we were on the road by 4AM.
Surgery day 3/31: The drive there was miserable because it was pouring rain and we were on a 2 lane road with some construction, but my husband was very patient and we got there at 5:10, twenty minutes ahead of schedule
5:30AM: checked in with the front desk who took my husband's name and cell phone and sent him a test text to ensure he'd receive updates during and after the surgery. She also set expectstions for timing.
6:15AM: There were three women in the waiting room including me, and we were all called at the same time to walk to pre-op like a little school field trip. Our partners all walked with us and we each had a little bed with a curtain for all the pre-op stuff
6:30-7:30AM: Things were hectic! I introduced myself to so many people but everyone was wide awake and cheerful, and I had quite a few laughs even through the discomfort of some of the stuff. The nurse who got my IV going traded tattoo stories with my husband and I while she tried three different spots and finally got an IV into my tiny veins on my right wrist! My left hand was a big ole bruise but didn't end up working out lol. She gave my clindamycin after a thorough discussion about all my allergies, a Tylenol, saline, and a pill explained to help with my urethra? I don't quite remember the details.
Next came a lovely woman from research to ask if I was interested in the University's genetic library. I enthusiastically asked to participate and signed off on blood draw in the OR to contribute to the library and future research regarding chronic pain and women's health, which felt awesome!
After her the resident came with another doctor to discuss the surgery in detail. We went over the two types of surgery I was consenting for, exactly what each entailed, and what parts would be removed. She was impressed with my knowledge and really gave me an in depth discussion which was so nice and made me feel at ease. We established that my tubes coming out were a priority and therefore the surgeon would likely chose laparoscopic to avoid the potential of the tubes being too high to remove through a fully vaginal procedure.
We discussed pain management in full, and she explained the average prescription for oxy but said "I am happy to prescribe whatever amount you feel is necessary for your recovery", which was amazing. I settled on 9 pills with the caveat that I could call for more.
The doctor that was with her was male, but he was insanely friendly and I asked point blank what pelvic exams would be performed while I was under. She calmly explained that there would be no students present for my exam but all three (surgeon, doctor, and resident) would perform a pelvic exam as it is a very important part of the process. I agreed and they noted in my chart that I had a history of SA and would be taken care of and respected.
Next came the surgeon! She gave me a big hug and introduced herself to my husband and hugged him too. She held my hand and asked me if I was ready and I told her about my fear of doing the vaginal because I wanted my tubes out and she laughed and said "girl those are the first things coming out! Don't you worry I'm going to give you four tiny, neat incisions and we'll pull those cancer factories right out!" I felt so at peace with my decision to have her as my surgeon and she left me with another hug and promised to make sure my husband got plenty of updates
Finally, my anesthesiology team showed up. Two absolutely fabulous women who talked a mile a minute just like I do and we were all in stitches from laughing about the silliest things. She noted I get nauseous easily and picked an anesthesia that had a lower rate of nausea. She gave me an anti-nausea pill, an anxiety pill, and then said she'd be back to wheel me to the OR with the whole team.
7:30: My husband took my belongings and I gave him one more kiss and took off my glasses. Then they wheeled me to the OR. I remember a room full of bright lights and it was quite cold, and it felt like I was in a medical TV show with the POV camera as things were lowered around me. I have no memory of being moved to the bed but I do believe they did it before I was under. There were probably 8 people in the room all talking and it felt chaotic but not unpleasant. The anesthesiologist gave me an oxygen mask and said "breathe into this for some better oxygen" and I took make 3 breaths and was out cold.
11:30AM (according to my husband): I was in the recovery area and slowly coming to. I'd say it took about an hour for me to be fully awake and able to speak coherently. It felt like I was coming in and out of a dream, and every time I talked it got a little easier to annunciate. I had mild cramping but no other pain to speak of.

Hi, how’s it going? Legal Sensei Here.
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For more information, visit my website http://yourlegalsensei.com/
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Hi, how’s it going? Legal Sensei Here.
I have been in the content creation business for over five years. Over the course of these five years, I have worked in all kinds of industries and with individuals, start-ups, and businesses. But I have always been interested in starting a niche content-creation business where I could start working on projects I enjoy.
So, this post extends an invitation to everyone who wants to explore a new writing style and rhythm for their brand.
Website - http://yourlegalsensei.com/
My Rate -
As the central idea behind this short project is for me to build my portfolio and find work that I enjoy, I’ve kept the prices (allegedly) reasonably rated.
I charge 8 cents a word for content-writing projects and for copywriting projects, I charge $35 per hour.
Feel free to contact me and we could discuss this further.
Turnaround Time -
As I want to deliver quality content, I want to work with clients who are available to dedicate at least eight to ten days to a single project. However, a week should be sufficient for a short project such as a blog, social media post, or email campaign.
Experience -
As mentioned earlier, I have been in this business for over five years and have accumulated a fair share of experience.
Here is some of my work -
How to Choose Correct Size Cabinets? A Beginner’s Guide
Tips & Tricks to Avoid the Most Common Kitchen Blunders
Is a Humidifier Good for Asthma?
The Best SaaS Blogs
If you’re interested in something specific, contact me for a sample.
Services -
If you’re interested in a buzz-worthy article, creative designs, a consistent blogging schedule, increasing CTC, or creating hyper-focused content, YLS is the way to go.
Note -

1. I will only accept projects for which I can assure quality assurance.
2. I only prefer payments through PayPal.
3. The minimum turnaround time required for a project is three days.
4. My primary qualification: I have a degree in law and marketing.

Contact -
For more information, visit my website http://yourlegalsensei.com/
You can also email your project details to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) and I will get back to you within 24 hours.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. Thanks!

http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=26005
A pit bull breeder switches breeds as she doesn't feel that the people buying pit bulls care for them properly. A proposed anti-chaining bylaw (I like it) and some interesting numbers regarding the types of dogs the shelter deals with the most.
Pit bull owners often to blame for breed's bad press
Sunday, April 16, 2006
By J.B. Smith
Tribune-Herald staff writer
Some people buy pit bull terriers as the canine equivalent of a Hummer: an overpowered, macho status symbol, able to crush anything in its path.
Others in the grip of “pit bull fever” fall in love with the dogs’ loyalty, affection and athletic grace.
“They make the best pet you could ever have,” said Linda Harper, a former pit bull breeder from Bellmead. “Once you get one, you’re hooked and hooked bad, because they’re such awesome dogs. You have to tell people to be careful, or they’ll end up with five or six.”
For whatever reason, Waco’s pit bull population is booming and becoming a public safety issue, police say. Pit bulls now account for about 80 percent of Waco animal control calls, as well as 16 of the city’s 28 dog bite cases in the first three months of this year.
The pit bull boom is part of what’s driving the city Animal Advisory Board to recommend an ordinance to prohibit the prolonged chaining or tethering of dogs.
Chained dogs in general tend to be more vicious and likely to attack people, animal control officers say. If that dog is a pit bull that hasn’t been well-socialized, the danger is especially great, they say.
“The majority of the people who have (pit bulls) don’t have them fenced in,” said Waco animal control supervisor Bill Vieregge. “They put them on the end of a logging chain, with little or no human contact.
“The difference between this and any other dog is that when you’re bitten by a pit bull, the bite is more serious. Their jaws have such crushing power, they can snap your arm.”
The rising popularity of pit bulls has ignited a national debate, with passionate partisans on each side. Some say the breed is inherently dangerous, and some cities, including Denver, Colo., have banned the dogs altogether. Texas law doesn’t allow “breed-specific legislation,” but that doesn’t mean pit bulls get the same treatment as other breeds. In Waco, Fuzzy Friends Animal Rescue won’t take pits, and the Waco Humane Society’s animal shelter won’t adopt them out. The shelter received 1,208 pit bulls last year — about 10 percent of the dog total — and released 134 to the owners. The rest were euthanized.
Pit bulls in the news
Attacks by pit bulls and pit bull mixes have been in the news lately, including the fatal mauling in November of a 76-year-old Milam County woman by six dogs, described as a mix of pit bull and Rottweiler. In February, a Bell’s Hill Elementary fourth-grader was taken to the hospital after an attack by dogs described as pit bull mixes. And a North Waco man was recently convicted on Class A misdemeanor assault charges after his pit bull mix bit a 9-year-old neighbor on the arm, leg and ribs in May 1995.
Pit bull advocacy groups say the breed is unfairly maligned, and the problem is one of nurture, not nature. They note that pit bulls were bred over the centuries to fight other dogs, but those that attacked people were immediately killed under dogfighting rules. The result, they say, is a dog breed that generally is aggressive toward other dogs but friendly to people, to the point that a well-socialized pit bull is often ineffective as a guard dog.
Carrie Kuehl, executive director of the Waco Animal Birth Control Clinic, said pit bulls show a wide variation in temperament. Some pit bulls that come into her clinic have to be muzzled, but others are harmless.
“Some are the sweetest dogs you could ever ask for,” she said. “They have the power to inflict serious wounds, but if they are raised in the right environment, they are very good companion pets.”
‘Not status symbols’
She said pit bulls that are aggressive to people reflect the owner more than the breed.
“The part that’s disturbing to me is that many people will go and adopt a pit bull, and they want to own it like they want to own an article of clothing or a car,” Kuehl said. “Dogs are not status symbols. They are part of our families. They’re not to be purchased as a commodity.”
But that’s too often the case, said Waco Assistant Police Chief Clare Crook, who oversees animal control. She attributes the rise of pit bulls partly to hip-hop subculture and rap videos that show mean-looking pit bulls as macho accessories.
“It’s a status thing, like bling,” she said. Owners with such a mindset tend to neglect their pit bulls and leave them on short chains without adequate shade or shelter.
Animal shelter officials have documented cases of severe festering wounds on the necks of chained dogs, often because the owner failed to adjust the collar as the dog grew. One pit bull in quarantine at the shelter this week showed such neck scars, while another had scars all over its face, a possible sign of dog fighting, shelter workers said.
Animal advocates say an ordinance against tethering dogs for more than two hours would be a good start in fighting inhumane treatment.
“It’s just the progressive thing to do,” said Pat Seesing, a Waco Humane Society board member who also serves on the city Animal Advisory Board. “We need to get in line with the progressive cities of Texas. . . . Rome wasn’t built in a day. But you have to have it on the books before you can start making progress.”
Canine escape artists
But some aren’t so sure an ordinance against chaining would safeguard Waco’s streets from vicious dogs. In a recent city council discussion with the Animal Advisory Board about tethering dogs, Councilwoman Alice Rodriguez voiced concerns that dangerous dogs might be more likely to escape from a pen than a chain.
Harper, the former pit bull breeder, agreed, saying pit bulls in particular are great escape artists that can get over, under or through fences. Anything less than a concrete floor or a reinforced pen with a cover may not hold a pit bull, she said.
“They will chew through a chain link fence,” she said. “That’s why I kept my dogs on chains with swivels on both ends. If they pass some kind of ordinance that you can’t keep pit bulls on a chain, it’s almost like the city has opened fire on the public. These animals will not be contained.”
Crook, the assistant police chief, said that, under the city’s proposed dog-tethering ordinance, dog owners who can prove their animals need to be chained can claim that as a defense, as long as they also have a fence at least four feet high. She said loose dogs will continue to be impounded and their owners cited.
‘Heartbreaking’
Harper said she has stopped raising pit bulls in the last few years because customers were not giving them the care and attention the dogs need.
“I raised them for 14 years, but moving to Waco has made me not want to raise pit bulls,” she said, adding that she has switched to raising Olde English bulldogges.
“The vast majority of pit bull owners are the kind of people who don’t take them to obedience training,” Harper said. “I’ve never met anyone who I felt did the right thing with the dogs. It was heartbreaking to sell a dog and find they end up in a place where you wouldn’t want them.”
She said the last straw was when she sold a blue-eyed, white pit bull puppy to a man she thought would take good care of him. Instead, she discovered the dog had become a “reigning champion” in dogfights around Marlin, she says.
“He bought the dog for $800, and I offered him $1,500 to buy him back,” she recalled. “He said, ‘I won that much the other day fighting.’”
Harper said she finally persuaded the owner to sell back the pit bull, but she found that it had become too aggressive. One day the dog escaped and nearly killed one of her other dogs, and she decided to euthanize the pit bull, she said.
The experience cured her of pit bull fever.
“These days I have no interest in the pit bull breed, other than hurt feelings,” she said. “So many of these dogs have a lot of emotion, real personality and spirit. When they’re treated like vicious animals, it’s a sad thing to see.”
[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
__________________

I'm 18 years old and looking for people who like sketching outside AKA urban art. Please be in the age range 15-25
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Or just writing each other letters is cool too.
My Slowly profile:
From the bottom of my heart let's be true to each other and build trust over time, who knows maybe a beautiful friendship can blossom from our communicatiooooooon.
-With <3 AJ
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Some facts about me;
-I'm 18yrs old and from Berlin.
-I'm a dork, geek, bipolar extrovert/introvert, prolifically creative, artist, cook, loving, crass, spoiled, high ego, advantageous, fit in with artists but not with normies ... usually.
-If you live in Berlin I'd love to cook you some burritos
-My interests:
Philosophie, Cooking, Gaming, Tech, Digital Art (Blender 3D) & Sketching, Photography, Guitar & Rock, Psychologie, Entertainer, VR creation, and lots of other heartwarming stuff like Life Is Strange ... (Oh, that's just gaming again.)
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What makes you feel important?
Do you share any of my interests?
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Spread love not hate, love all <3, and have an unfathomably fantastic day!
The evolution of trust:https://ncase.me/trust/
(play his other games too, they are all phenomenal. I'd suggest the one on how media influences our life. Media bleeds.)
"Spread love, not hate."
I'm Liberal.
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I love writing long letters, with good grammar ;).
Ich kann sehr lange und kurze Briefe schreiben, wiesz passt halt.
Writing long letters will take me some time, but it'll be worth it.
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P.S. if you're going to mention culture in your letter please be more specific.
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Happy about any letters even happier if they're consistent and uniform.

If many of you thinking they are doing great taking burden off the students especially you from 9th and 10th classes this is a biggest scam. You can get way easily but in higher you will get trouble in understanding many concepts and end up only "Ratting" them and also you will also be held up to only memorize rather than understanding the key.
And even you can get a point that this are also bullshits extra learning and this is better neglected and we can handle for a while but it is just gona a fun for a short time then the big Threat come the Competitive Exams (Lord Jee and Neet), Many are arguing jee and neet syllabus are according to ncert and will also reduce as well. Hell never, you know how many students give exam that this fu**ing exams and you think this reduction will not increase the ease and servely hit the selection system more students will get high marks and cutoff gonna reach even higher then current will is already crosing 95+ what do you wanna do reach to 100 and make other student will useless who manage to get 97-98.
And we all know NTA never gona reduce for the above reason. So it is just gonna make student's struggle to get cutoff through normal school syllabus study in school. They are going to stressed and depressed by the failure and eventually the majority have to take coaching and live a live of a tagged aspirant and have to just study and study and feel like never ending syllabus. If the syllabus of schools will revert back to the original and get back to the level in the syllabus content of jee and neet. No student is gonna die or stress out because this. Cause in school the pace will be same and environment will be more free and good and student can get their expectations in schools and in competitive exams. Do you know why students get depressed more in coaching culture because they learn their also but to compete rather than understanding and enjoying and feel pressure of competition. But in school this feeling is much less. This is also gonna help poors to get the whole syllabus complete and also can get free from expense of coaching just for the Competitive exam.
You know how leved our cbse syllabus was back in the days of our parents it was same as per our jee now (which slightly lowed few year) and that's why 90 % was like a dream back then and also their people were also relived by a average percentage of 60 - 70 % and also manage to get ranked in competitive exmas without any addition coaching and just by only school learning. Now the syllabus is just gotten to this low that 90 % is just a good trash and called a average cuase it is so much easier now and people with result doesn't get confidence in themself and feel shit and just think who get 60 - 70 % now they think they are not meant to study they are a fool and many more and get a very low in confidence.
This study cannot get you stressed at in school they will come to you slowy rather than given to you in one dose and will help you to understand well and get off the burden of getting good colleges.

part 1
Rychart was a veteran who had truly earned his powered armor and pack leader title through decades of combat. It had cooled his blood from the wild lust for battle and blood, and settled his stomach from the endless hunger of youth. That was why he was one of the first to notice the invasion had gone wrong. What tipped him off first he couldn't tell: a change in the smell in the air, some disturbance to the sound of ongoing chaos. It didn't matter. He snarled at his pack to get their attention and slapped his helmet back on with a satisfying click.
Many of the Verksara disdained sealed helmets for their effect of cutting off the sense of smell. This was fine as far as Rychart thought. If you wanted to go into battle with an unarmored head, you probably didn't have a brain to protect anyway.
He turned and looked back at his pack. They were not the largest or most vicious. Most pack leaders only recruited such, but Rychart would call himself smarter. What he wanted was warriors that could shoot straight and follow orders, so he had recruited as such.
His enemies would say he was a coward afraid of being challenged by his own, but he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, a pack that would fight amongst itself is no pack at all.
This choice meant that in his power armor, he truly towered over his followers. Dented and battered as the armor was, even with its mismatched patch jobs, he cut an intimidating figure as he barked orders and gestured to his men who began setting up barricades and cover with whatever they could find in this cafeteria and the nearby storage rooms.
This whole operation had been a mess, bloated with undisciplined louts, and the fool "high alpha" who gave the insane order to only bring darters, an order he had promptly agreed to and then totally ignored. He smiled viciously as he inspected his pack and their plenitude of explosives and trusty plasma blasters.
He had already been glad for this armament in this battle, not for taking out the Catera guard (they probably could have overrun them naked and unarmed), but because he'd had to gun down two other packs of Verksara to save all the engineers and scientists he currently had safely collared and locked in the kitchen behind his forces.
What bloody use was demanding the packs only bring darters if you fill your army with the lowest undisciplined trash? Sure, Rychart might have been from the same slums as these 'warriors,' but at least he had the damned common sense to sort the valuable slaves from the rest before he started eating... Synth-meat might be disgusting, but he had forced his pack to fill their stomachs before the fight specifically so they could think with their brains, not their stomachs. Any worthy alpha would have done the same in his mind.
He scanned through the radio channels as his pack set up firing positions facing every entrance and even laid tripwires on most of them. His mind clouded with rage. The radio channels were filled with howls of victory, bragging, and some fools were even jamming channels by loudly eating with their radios turned on.
This habitat was vital for expansion, and some might even say survival. It seemed to him he was among the few taking this seriously.
Eventually, he found what he was listening for, a panicked call for help that cut off before they could give any position. He had skipped past it, unfortunately, and then when he went back, the channel was silent.
After a few more swaps, he noticed the pattern: howls of victory turning to dead silence or panicked cries for help that cut off mid-sentence. He snarled orders into the comms, but the undisciplined masses ignored him. So he just asked his helmet AI to triangulate the signals that cut out and give him an estimation of the location of the approaching threat.
The helmet AI was another thing few of the Verksara would approve of, and he certainly would never tell them about it.
As the helmet revealed the threat was getting closer, he racked his mind to figure out what it might be. An old Unity warbot? It had to be, with energy shields and heavy weapons. It was certainly deadly enough to overrun that many Verksara, especially when they only had cursed darters, but it should not be that fast.
It didn't truly matter. He barked more orders into the comms, threatened, promised fresh meat, whatever he could to draw more packs to his position. Well, not his position, two rooms over.
He switched off his comms for a moment and turned to one of his most trusted followers. "Gurchan, take three and rig the selerite in cargo room 37j to explode. Get it done before they arrive, and for the love of fresh meat, don't put the detonators anywhere visible... Oh, and put a leech on the cameras."
He grinned viciously under his helm, taking sadistic glee in his plan. He would remove some of the feral strays and destroy whatever this threat was in one fell swoop. Well, a Unity warbot might survive it, but probably not intact or with functional shields.He watched the members of his pack dart out of the room, carefully stepping over the tripwire on the way, they all wore grins to match his own. They were back in mere minutes, and he was seconds later watching through the cameras in the room thanks to the leeches placed by his pack. This explosion would unfortunately destroy a lot of valuable loot and fuel, but it was far better than risking his pack.
He saw three different packs arrive, milling around in confusion, and then immediately starting to argue, complete with bites and claw swipes. It took all his will not to laugh when they started to demand to know where he was.
He waited, and did not wait long, but what he saw was not the hulking pure white machine with a shimmering blue shield he expected. It was a biped that looked soft and pink, devoid of both fur and clothes, except for a patch on its head and groin. He was confused for a moment; even with its unnatural speed, it should not be such a threat. But then he watched it fight.
It took dozens of darter shots, even as it darted side to side and dodged the bulk of the fire. It closed in, punched its fist straight through one of the armored pack leaders, gripping its now exposed spine, and lifting the unfortunate as a shield. His heart raced as he watched this creature fight... it... the slaughter was beautiful. Whatever it was, it was death incarnate.
It fired off shots with eerily perfect precision, and where it pointed, the darter made these feral mutts fall with one perfect shot. It didn't reload once the darter ran out, it merely threw the darter with such force that it exploded as it crushed the helm and head of another pack leader. At this point, panic had set in; some ran, more gave into fury and charged, their darters obviously useless. It didn't matter.
He watched it throw its shield into one charging mass, which knocked dozens back with an audible cracking of bones. It then decapitated a burly warrior that jumped it from the side with a contemptuous slap, drawing its combat knife and darter from its sheaths even as the body flew past.
He watched it pull off even more perfect headshots as it leapt sideways over a pile of crates, and then kicked a metallic crate larger than its own body into another four charging warriors with enough force to slam them all into the opposing wall while reducing them to red paste.
"All of you, full-face helm, set your blasters to maximum output, and triple up the tripwire explosives." They didn't question his orders, even though such an order might risk explosive decompression. "My pack is a good pack," Rychart thought.
He hoped they would not have to fight that monster. He watched the fight go on as he fondled the detonator. It was no fight; it was a slaughter. Those that stood their ground and fired from behind cover were cut down with impossibly accurate fire. Those that charged were ruthlessly dismembered, often in unarmed combat. Those that fled took shots to the back and were later stomped to death. All the while, this creature flipped, jumped, and leapt off walls, bringing death wherever it went. At one point, another pack came rushing in. The small pink creature leapt forward and grabbed the fully-armored pack leader by the arm. Despite the small pink creature being almost half the height of the hulking brute it just grabbed, it swung the poor bastard about like an oversized flail, crushing and breaking dozens in this manner before the pack leader's arm tore from its socket. But he had long been dead by then.
The others behind fled in terror, and Rychart knew it was time. If he waited any longer, the fight would leave the room, and he couldn't have that. So he pressed down the detonator, and his view in his helmet flashed orange and cut out. The deck bucked, and his pack ducked back behind cover as a wave of heat and dust swept into the room through what must have been at least two blown-out doors.
He had no camera to see the almost-classical cyborg horror shot of a charred figure clawing itself free from the wreckage, and shredded corpses. Shining metallic components were now visible under the shredded layers of semi-organic synthskin, the only thing it lacked to be the perfect horror scene was a red glowing eye.

I came across a post in Philippines that suggests that there's a pipeline of right-wing ideas from the U.S. to the Philippines.
As you probably now, drag bans in the U.S. are big news at the moment. In the post, the OP was stirring up a moral panic over this video, claiming that this was the result of people being "woke". (Side note: If you're using "woke" as a pejorative label for things that you happen to disapprove of, then you need to see the actual definition of the term.
I challenged the OP, saying that the video shows people in costumes who are dancing, doing a little bit of gymnastics, and lipsyncing. The children are clearly accompanied by parents or other adults with responsibility over them.
The OP replied with even more heightened language; they:

• said that anyone with common sense would see that the video is disgusting;
• claimed that the drag performances had transformed the setting into the equivalent of a gay bar, which isn't appropriate for children;
• insisted that the drag queens weren't wearing anything ("hubad", "walang suot"); and
• asked me if I knew anything about morality and decency, or if I instead endorsed degeneracy.

The comments were locked, and the post deleted, before I could reply, but the situation did get me wondering how to engage with people who think this way about drag (or indeed any other queer topic).
I realize that, on the one hand, it's probably pointless to enter into discussions with people who have already made up their minds, are approaching the subject in bad faith, or are sealioning or otherwise trolling. On the other hand, some of these conversations probably do need to be had if we're going to push back on ignorance and hate.
Hence, this post: how would you explain (or defend) the art of drag?
Sharing here the points that I would've raised with OP if I had had a chance to do so.

• The adults supervising the children in the video clearly disagree with you. Do you claim to know better than the children's parents? If yes, why?
• On what basis is this disgusting? Are you saying that drag queens are disgusting? That drag, as a centuries-spanning art form, is disgusting? That queer people, in general, are disgusting? Why?
• The setting of the video is obviously not a gay bar. The presence of drag queens who are doing their jobs (i.e., performing) doesn't automatically transform a location into a gay bar. Do you even know what goes on in a gay bar?
• The drag queens are very clearly clothed. If you object to the amount or type of clothing, that's a different issue.
• Many other people who perform for a living wear similar articles of clothing (e.g., dancers, singers, actors, acrobats, professional wrestlers). Many other people are also engaged in sports that require similarly skintight or skimpy clothing (e.g., gymnasts, divers, swimmers). These non-drag queens pursue their activities in physical and digital spaces that children have access to. Do you object to them, too? Why?
• What makes drag immoral, indecent, or degenerate?

爱在西元前 - Love In BC A thousand-year-old abandoned woman turns into a cute girl who falls in love with an alien uncle, and an immortal alien navigator turns into a superstar to guard a thousand-year friendship. This is a group of people abandoned by time, wrongly loved before AD. In the reincarnation of the prehistoric world, they are destined to meet for a short time and be lost forever... The only ... Read Love In BC - Chapter 15 - MangaPuma. Read more at https://mangapuma.com/love-in-bc/chapter-15

About Soul Crush

We are seeking one daily active and collaborative player who loves all areas of guild content. While you can play on your schedule, participation in all guild content is expected. + Language: English + WGB Rank: C2-G1 + Siege Rank: Solid G1 + Lab Rank: SSS + Monster Sub: SSS/SS + GRB Rank: SSS

Requirements

• Level 50 players only
• At least 20 6* well-rounded mons
• Have a GB12 auto team
• Arena rank F3 or higher
• Discord app mandatory

Guild Battle Rules

• Use at least 30 swords weekly
• Respect +6 rule, even when battle is won
• Half defense Mon-Wed, full defense Th-Sa
• Attack emphasis on Green > Yellow > Red target
• Battles start between 4:00 and 6:00 PST

How to apply

• Apply through the Discord app
• Leader: Galashiel#8769
• Vice: Orch1d#3520
• Vice: Lord Revan#6053
• Vice: Papa Jads#9596
  
• Send screenshots of profile, include arena, Cairos dungeon, and rift records
  

We look forward to hearing from you!

Growing up my sister was physically and verbally abusive towards me and my brother, but as we shared a bedroom and was a very sensitive kid, I was her main target. I wasn’t allowed to walk anywhere near where she hung out at school and if I did she would beat me up at home, she would lock me and my brother outside to punish us even when it was raining and guard the kitchen so we couldn’t eat or drink. She was overall very controlling and if you did not submit to her, she would become physical. She would humiliate me in front of my friends and our family about my looks, and this escalated to developing an eating disorder. My mum has always described her as extremely difficult, when she was little as she would smash her head against the wall and scream for hours on end if she didn’t get her own way. She is still the absolute worst. She works in care and the things she says about the people and the way she mocks them is honestly shocking.
She is very confident and only likes to talk about herself. Yesterday I was asking my mum about her new job and what she planned on doing in the school holiday, but she kept cutting us up to talk about herself, completely unrelated to what we were talking about. The things she talks about are the same things too, it’s always about the same ex boyfriend and the same issue with him and it’s so tiring. She has no interests and she says this herself, she only talks about work or her boyfriend.
She’s also very mean to whoever she’s with, every relationship she’s in is extremely toxic. She has no boundaries and tells us everything about them, even telling me about how one of them was raped as a child. She tells me I’m an evil manipulator but happy to tell me this? This poor person has opened up with her about something so traumatic just for her to tell people, just to say she doesn’t believe him and thinks he’s attention seeking?!?!
She’s extremely materialistic too. She works a minimum wage job and spends all of her money on clothes to keep up appearances. For who? I don’t know. She is in debt bc of this.
She’s the most vain person I have ever met, you will never meet anybody who loves themselves as much as her. She accuses my whole family of being in love with her, and she genuinely believes it. She has said that most of us have spied on her and she believes it. It’s so gross and for her to say it constantly is so gross.
If you argue with her or stand your ground she will become physical. Last year my parents went on holiday so I went shopping to buy food. I asked her if she wanted anything for work, she told me what to get and she said she’d pay me back. So I got the stuff and told her how much it was and she proceeded to call me a scab and a tramp. She then started to hurl insults at me so I insulted her back. She then got up, started punching me and booted me in the vagina before I could get away. I usually avoid just conversations with her now bc she sees anything as confrontation. Even disagreeing with her over minor things and it becomes physical so easily.
I’m not in her head but I’m sure she lacks empathy. She’s extremely racist, homophobic and misogynistic. When out with my mum and her friends a couple of months back, she was screaming racial slurs at people. Even arguing with somebody at the bar for not buying her a drink and then proceeding to say she’s better than him bc of the colour of her skin. She’s also reckless and doesn’t care about putting people in danger. She has a car but no license, and has failed her theory multiple times, but still drives her car knowing the dangers. This has included drink driving too or driving at really high speeds, which her and her bf have laughed about.
I really do not want to offend anyone, but I don’t understand why she’s the way she is. Does this sound like a narcissist? I don’t know if it’s important to note that she has a different dad who was really abusive. I don’t know if this could be hereditary? Especially bc she didn’t find out about her real dad until she was 21 and was raised by my dad her whole life.

This is sort of a broad post with many facets and I don't have a TLDR. I was in a high-control "spiritual" group from age 21-30 and am having some challenges readjusting to many of the "realities" of life. I don't know where to go to for help and would greatly appreciate outside perspectives.
I'm starting my 2nd year as an apprentice plumber after finishing first in my trade school (once I decided to leave said group).
I believe that one of the triggers for addictive/self-destructive behavior is trying to avoid challenging emotions. I struggle with binge eating maybe 50% of evenings and I live with my mother. She has been wonderfully supportive since I decided to make my own decisions in life and doesn't charge me rent, never will and will allow me to stay as long as I want to.
Last year I paid off $7,000 of credit card debt and maxed my new Roth IRA. The year before I paid $6,000 of delinquent capital gains tax. All these debts were due to squandering an inheritance from my grandfather due to me having a good heart, being gullible perhaps and not having any financial literacy until I decided that personal sovereignty was very important to me.
Anyways, living with my mother has allowed me to save a little money, but I'm not happy with the emotional/social dynamic. I don't want to speculate too much, but I think I reject the kind of love my mother wants to give me. She's getting better about seeing me as an adult, but still does things like trying to speak for me to others while in my presence, kind of normal mothering stuff for a little boy, I guess. She's retired and I think sort of has a tendency to live vicariously through others. I don't think it's healthy and so I don't really talk about my life much or communicate much with her at all. I respect her, but we're into different things and frankly, as adults, don't have a lot of common interests, which is fine. Me living with her is putting a fair strain on both of us I think, but she'll never ask me to leave.
We don't eat together for various reasons. Partially it's scheduling, she's more into snacking and I don't like talking while eating. Also, although I don't show it outwardly, I think I get triggered by her questions. I feel like I'm being interrogated and as an adult, I don't owe her any answers.
I think one of my triggers for binge eating is feeling trapped and not in control of my life. I'm wondering if living on my own will help me to "man up" for lack of a better phrase and just make my life work. I've lived alone and with roommates before in many different situations. However I also struggled with binge eating/drinking while living alone in situations where I didn't feel in control, or I didn't like my life circumstances, such as my boss being my landlord, etc. I did learn some independence even though I was in a cult lol. I was told what part of the work to go to, what country to go to, then left and forgotten about. I had to find odd jobs with limited handman/farm skills and couldn't make any commitments. I had to make it work.
I'm hedging my bets that being more independent will help me to overcome my self-destructive habits. Frankly, I've struggled with food addiction before I even got involved in the high-control group. I'm not overweight and am actually very fit, but you know when you have a problem.
I haven't confessed this to anyone in my life, but I started seeing a therapist a couple months ago and have talked about using food to cope. I have a good relationship with some of my family members but I guess I just don't want sympathy. There was a time maybe 12-13 years ago I had a major eczema issue with my skin, lived with my mother and told my sisters I wasn't interested in going to see a Western medical practitioner. Frankly, the crying, begging and emotional strain of having people care about me with good intentions can be a lot to bear. It doesn't always make things better.
I have hobbies, but I don't fully express myself and my interests around my mother and family members. I'm hoping that living on my own (even with roommates), I can focus on increasing my earning potential, work occasional side jobs and focus on my hobbies (singing, Spanish language, martial arts, yoga, etc.) and that this purpose will help me to face uncomfortable emotions and not rely on coping in negative ways.
I'd like to move out of the house and keep reworking my budget, but it's tough. I currently make $21.50/hr. but if I go to another company, I may be taking a pay cut. Although currently, I don't have any benefit package from my job and with a different company, I'd have a package. I currently have about $21,000 in a HYSA that is a combination of an emergency fund and new catruck savings.
I drive a Toyota Solara with 246,000 miles that's been well-cared for. I just put in a new alternator and new tires. Part of my hesitation in leaving my company and current city is that I don't know how much longer this car will last. I don't want to be somewhere I don't know anybody and have to deal with towing a scrap car, potentially missing work at a new company, getting a rental car and finding something reliable with Uber's and whatnot. I don't necessarily NEED a truck but am looking at everything from Tundras to Rangers because it will help me keep options open for weekend side jobs and also to move living situations if I need to.
At my current job, I'm not getting the best training (but it's okay and I can make it work), but I have a company van, they may have given me a little too early (7 months in). So, if my personal car breaks down on a weekend while I have a work van and I'm living with my mother, it's not a huge deal. Problem is, I live in a HCOL area, but I could probably find a roommate and keep my housing/utility costs under $850/mo.
My credit is 694 and I don't want to have a car loan that is less than 91.5% paid off while potentially needing to have a landlord run my credit. 694 should be fine for an apartment, but not if I add a mostly unpaid car loan.
My buddy's mother and her partner have a mother-in-law suite they are trying to rent out in a major city 1 hour away from me. They would charge below market value and there is a good plumbing company in the area I would try to get in with. They are known for having a wonderful paid training program (they actually subcontract out their training). I'd likely take a pay cut but get benefits I'm currently paying for myself (dental, health, retirement). I would probably be someone's helper for 2-6 months before getting my own work vehicle. This is an option.
I guess there's a part of me that feels bad to leave my current company. There is sideways and upward mobility, I have enough say (due to my work ethic and intellect) that I can mostly work with who I want to. They took a chance on me, pay me decently (started me at $20 and now got an additional $1.50 after 10 months) and they make a decent effort to teach me stuff. Problem is they aren't organized with how they bill jobs, among other thing. Some jobs are time and materials, some things are flat rate, some things are a total toss up and some are charity for the church, which takes money out of the employees pockets. At the risk of sounding like I'm slandering them, a good few of the guys are pot heads and even smoke at work. Warnings have been given, but nobody gets fired. If you splash too much water out of a small puddle, I guess you're only left with mud. But I still believe that a company should have standards. Small family company and management doesn't really command respect. We lose money on efficiency and productivity. Guys 6 years in still don't know how to solder and make what I make, some less. One of our lead plumbers makes $.50 an hour more than I do.
So my point is that I could do okay if I stayed in this city with my current job, for now, but I wouldn't be relying on being around people with a growth mindset. I would be relying on my own drive, which is fickle. I'm driven, but I feel like I'm also influenced by my environment. If I stay here, I'd continue seeing my therapist, but if I move to the larger city with arguably the better company, I'd probably find another therapist and would also have access to a couple different men's groups, but nothing like Overeaters Anonymous or Smart Recovery. There are options though for help if I need it, more so in the larger city.
I'll add that my former cult is based out of the larger city with these opportunities. They aren't like a major Church, but are low-key, Christian-influenced Andean Shamanic type people who are followers of someone very charismatic with a few allegations of sexual harassment, although nothing is concrete so far (I think). If I moved there, I may run into the people I left who I was very close to for 9 years. Wouldn't be a big deal I don't think, but I might have to face that.
Budget: $2,900 monthly net income
$693 food (inflated due to not feeling comfortable in my mom's kitchen to cook healthy/cheap)
$541 IRA contributions
$150 catruck savings
$100 gas
$80 clothes/shoe allowance
$80 counseling copayments
$70 health insurance
$70 Verizon bill
$55 car maintenance
$50 supplements
$35 dental insurance
$25 cleaning/maintenance
That leaves me with $951 for rent/utilities, but perhaps more. My food spending should go down substantially if I live alone, but it might not go down if I have to share a kitchen with someone.
I get bonuses at work but don't build my budget around that or anything I make from side jobs.
My mother has decided to pay my car insurance and I won't necessarily complain about that.
Currently Reading:
"The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz
"Break the Binge Eating Cycle" Sylvana Siskov
The last thing I'll add is that I'm learning to enjoy taking ice baths and am trying to pursue difficult things in order to build up my discipline. If you've read all that, thank you and I hope you can offer some insight that maybe I'm missing. Also, if there's another sub I should post this expression, suggestions are welcome and appreciated. Have a great weekend!

I asked ChatGPT to recite this poem and it gave a much longer poem than I'm used to seeing. The one I have in my Complete Poems ends with "Till acclimated—to—".
Is the below an actual longer version of this peom?

The Province of the Saved Should be the Art—To save— Through Skill obtained in Themselves— The Science of the Grave No Man can understand But He that hath endured The Dissolution—in Himself— That Man—be qualified To qualify Despair To Those who failing new— Mistake Defeat for Death—Each time— Till acclimated—to— The Lesson being taught As stated by the Grave Authors of whom, Himself was one, But He whose Tomb—the Be The Mourner—best described— As failing to sustain The length of Consciousness— And lacking all the strain Of Stimulus to keep The Eyes distinct and free— As Moss had quickened on the Eye And Closed them—Natives He— Of Tolling Bell, who for the Grace Of them who died, at last— In Covenant with them It was a fault of Blast If Angels were as men— They'd seek no Pelican To die for—then! Themselves can be the Saviors— Themselves alone—