Hello!
I'm 31M, met my soon to be 30F wife 2 and a half years ago. I'll try to keep this organized so you can help me spot worrying signs effectively.
Signs that calm me there won't be problems in the bedroom:
- She messaged me first on Tinder with "I like you".
- She manifested intense attraction since day 1 and has been that way for 2 about 2 years.
- We had sex the second date.
- Till this date, when we have sex she still says it while we are doing it "I ADORE YOU".
- She initiates it like 1 out of 15 times now
- Maybe she's truly tired or stressed and this reduces libido. (she had an important exam this November and she also works a lot in the dentistry field)
- In my previous relationship my ex wanted sex all the time. And I didn't want it. Just a curious dynamic, I didn't like her energy as it felt too overly attached and desperate. I also suspect she had a borderline personality disorder as she was jealous, possessive and suspected me I was cheating.
- She puts effort into the relationships and knows that sex is important and tries her best to keep me happy.
- She's truly a nice person, empathic, caring, supportive, calm, agreeable, smart, generous and modest.
Signs that worry me there would be problems:
- When we first discussed about sex, she told me that with all her partners, she felt like "Can we just be friends, why do we need to have sex all the time?"
- She also told me that some of her partners complained like "How will you ever have a relationship if you are like this" (not wanting or feeling to have sex)
- In the last 6-12 months things started to get pretty dull in the bedroom. She doesn't do the extra effort she used to do to make me feel great. She just like it in the starfish position now, rarely initiate, rarely starts with a blowjob and most of the time she finishes me with a handjob after I make her have an orgasm.
- When I suggest we should have sex, 8/10 she says she's tired or that she doesn't want to ruin her make up or hair, or take another shower, or change her clothes or change the sheet of the bed
- We only do it in bed. No more doing it on the couch, the table kitchen or places where in the beginning we couldn't help ourselves.
- She doesn't like the smell or the taste of the sperm. She said until me, has never had anyone ejaculate in her mouth or any place upper than her belly. She did it for me cuz she found me attractive and wanted to make me happy even if sometimes she felt like throwing up after smelling it or tasting it. I also suspect she did it to get me to invest in the relationship early on since there was a lot of competing girls for me. (I mean I had a 18y hot girl neighbor that basically knocked at my door to have sex with me).
- I also think she gave me great sex in the beginning because I was dating like 4 other girls simultaneously with her, and I was having sex with all of them. She probably felt to do this to "lock me up" and make me to fully commit to only her.
- Now she makes an effort to have sex with me. She says something like "I don't feel like it, but it has to be done" or "appetite comes with eating".
- One time she said that once 1 week should be enough after we settle or the relationship becomes committed.
- The problem is that in the beginning I didn't want her as bad as I do it now. Now literally I can't sleep because I think about having sex with her and I don't want to masturbate at porn. I feel like exploding.
- Lately she said it "Oh, you just need it everyday".
- Now it's a problem because I force myself not to initiate. I make a conscious effort to not ask or say something about it so I don't put pressure on her. The last thing I want is her to feel pressured so I end up in duty sex (which I've read here, it's awful) or just ruin the dynamics of natural attraction.
- Also, I pay all the bills, I'm muscular, tall and good looking (blue eyes, attractive face). I hope if I ask her to pay the bills in half (which I plan to) or I become fat or something happens to my physical appearance, she still has sex with me. I don't want sex to be just the "compensation" for the fact that I keep the lights out and buy groceries.
- I HATE the idea of a DeadBedroom and if discover from your responses, my research, my intuition, talking with a good sexologist that this relationship will end up in one no matter my actions, then I'm willing to end it now when it's not that painful than marrying, having kids and then being stuck or just experience enormous pain to divorce.
I don't know what else should be important to mention here, if you guys have questions or valuable input, please by all means comment it down bellow. Thank you so much, I'm so worried and anxious.

I''ve made a post before explaining what's happened and in short it's my fault for my stupid actions especially this year. (I haven't cheated or anything like that I would never she is honestly the love of my life and I know I don't want anyone or anything else in life) just haven't done enough if that's around the house, goals or our relationship. (After self reflection slot of this is down to me smoking weed everyday which since this I haven't touched and honestly don't want to)
I've been staying here for the past week in the guestroom so I can be with my son and I've tried to talk to her about all of this and what changes I'm making for myself and also them.
Why my head is so fucked is the 3rd night she put her head on my lap at night when our some went up to bed and I started to tickle her back. When we were going up to bed she asked if I wanted to cuddle in bed for 5 mins which turned into all night (we ended up making love which had just happened out of no where and wasn't an intention that night)
The next day I was asked to sleep in the guest room as she was tired but I knew it was because she regretted what happene which she eventually told me the day after.
Yesterday when I tried to speak about all of this I ended up getting the most out of her which wasn't much but she said "she feels suffocated with me wanting to talk about it, doesn't think I can do the things she needs like save for a house and family goals ect. And just doesn't trust or believe that I can change"
My head is just so fucked especially with what happened in the week and then after being back to being cold with me and I just don't know what to do with myself or with this situation.
Tl;Dr really struggling with this break up with the mother of my child and the love of my life.

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Really strange dream. There’s a kid (I don’t recognize the kid in real life) at my parents house I was babysitting or something and he was sitting on the couch and there was a bunch of baby snakes around him. Like maybe 3-4. I remember thinking baby snakes = mama/big snake in my dream. The kid liked the snakes in my dream, he thought they were cool. I told him to get rid of them and he said later. He grabbed all of them and went to take a nap in my parents room. I come into my room to organize it and when I walk in the room I try turning on the lights and notice the power is out. I set my stuff I was about to put away down and go to leave the room. All of the lights turn back on. I go to check on the kid I’m babysitting and he’s laying in bed with the 3-4 baby snakes and my parents dog. I turn to him and say “if one of those snakes bites my dog, I’m going to be pissed”. He says “I like sleeping with them, but fine”, puts the dog down and then starts gathering the snakes. I come back into my room and now I’m the one who’s about to take a nap. I’m half asleep when I notice something bothering me on my right side. And something especially hurt on my right wrist. It was one of those things where I had a suspicion of what it could be but I was terrified to look. I finally look and I see a really light green or possible light gray snake fangs deep on my wrist. In my dream I immediately tried to grab the snake by it’s neck close to its head to pull/get it off like to get it to release it’s fangs, and I wasn’t able to. Like the snake was holding on so tight. I run into my parents room and tell the kid I need his help with taking off the snake. I’m just staring at it, worried that it’s venomous so trying to remember what I know about snakes. I see it’s beady eyes staring back at me as it curls up on my wrist and seems like it really doesn’t want to let go. Then, I wake up. I was surprisingly calm in my dream, although I woke up sweaty and with my heart racing.
Any idea of what this could mean?
Thank you in advance!!! 🙏

A family member is experiencing weird happenings in a house they've just moved in to... young baby seems to be the main target, however touching of hair on adults whilst sleeping, and the feel of someone sitting on the end of the bed has happened, along with the sounds of someone sighing at random times. Now kids toys are starting to randomly fall when they are sitting firmly on a shelf. Please help...she has white sage, but what words are to be said whilst saging house? Any help would be appreciated.

I don’t like animals, but my partner does. About 10 months ago we agreed to a cat as long as it doesn’t go in our bedroom and I don’t need to take care of it. For a while, I took care of it. And it didn’t make me like the cat more, if anything I like it less. Finally I had enough and stopped taking care of it unless my partner specifically asked me to do something. I’m the first one home after work, and the cat demands attention which I do normally give- it wants me to pet it for like 10-15 min straight which means my clothes get full of hair and I need to change/lint roll myself so I can get dinner ready. Even still, there is cat hair in our food, and in my clothes which personally embarrasses me because I feel like a loser at work meetings. The cat howls and shrieks every morning at about 4am and will go on and off for hours until my partner leaves our bed to go be with the cat. My partner has fallen asleep on the couch with the cat a ton of times , woken up to come to bed at like 2am, only to leave the bed at at 6am when the cat won’t shut up. I’m tired of waking up with headaches and cat hair. The cat is the center of our arguments. I want to give it to a family that has kids that will play with it and give it constant attention, but my partner (who’s hardly home because always working) wants to keep it. I’m so annoyed with it. I just want a clean quiet house.

So my wife and I have been married 8 years this summer, together for twelve. We have to you g kids,4 and 6. I know she hasn’t been happy for a few years, we’ve had the talk a lot. I was stupid and never made the changes necessary to make it work. At the beginning of the month she finally just snapped and said she wanted a divorce. I obviously didn’t. We unfortunately we have a trip to Florida and Disney world booked at the beginning of the next month(we’re one week away from going). Her mom is coming. We’ve been keeping it secret for a month, besides some close friends and her sister. All her friends say she needs to do what makes her happy, I want to work it out. I know that won’t happen. Anyways so last night she went out with some friends. The kids were in bed and I snooped on the iPad which is hooked up to her phone. Saw a suspicious picture her friend had sent her. I ended up getting into her Instagram and saw her conversation with another married man. They are both going through the same thing but I don’t think this guy will pursue anything physically. Now should I confront her? Send this guys wife pics of they’re conversations? When we get back from our trip we are telling everyone and physically separating in the house. We will sell the house by the end of June and just go out separate ways. I would work on it if we could but after this I think all trust is gone.

Jarvis is doing a Jarvis Johnson Gold video where he critiques the idea of this TikTok of someone asking employees of an unnamed retail beauty store for free money (that they apparently very desperately give you in store to get you to buy things from them ?). Jarvis talks about this and its relations to taxes for a little bit before mentioning “..children. we have three”. The video cuts to his 3 sons as he tucks them into bed. 2 of them are 8-10 while the youngest looks about 5-7 and has a crib for some reason. The youngest then decides to sleep in the largest bed with one of his brothers while the last one hops into the crib with no complaints or questions about the fact he can barely fit in the crib as a 10 year old. Jarvis then goes over to his youngest kid and asks him an incomprehensible question, in which the voiceover clarifies is Jarvis addressing how he failed as a father in a specific incident that is never mentioned. I woke up this morning genuinely believing Jarvis was married and had three sons.

Hi, this may be a dumb question but I have been playing a werewolf for a good while now and he got the immortal wolf skill and I am now trying to understand how it works. I know that it stops aging and somewhere I read it prevents most deaths like starvation and fire, but does immortal wolf still die from dlc deaths? I only found 1 mention of the skill making him completely invincible under any circumstances, other sources saying it prevents some deaths but not specifying which ones it does or doesn't prevent. Does the death still happen and he just gets back up (meaning maybe dlc deaths wouldn't kill him) or does the death not happen in the first place? For example would my immortal wolf still die if murphy bed fell on him, or if he was outside in the cold too long?

Attempt #1 - Killed a tower guard, mistook it for an NPC because their gear was black and not blue. Still haven't learned my lesson that there is no karma system in S&S and restarted just to be safe.
Attempt #2 - Punched a walker with sap gloves. The game crashed.
Attempt 3 + 4 - Died in the speak easy, first from finding out the hard way that the chainsaw isn't quite the horde slaying murder machine the games loading screen text says it is. The second time was from being ambushed in the rear by tower guards at a bad time.
Attempt #5 - Completed the mission and spared him. However, I refused to give him the special booze from the safe out of fear he would drink himself to death if he got any more alcohol. Then I realized it had just been an extra loot opportunity. OCD refused to allow me to proceed... so reload the save and try again.
Attempt #6 - Used the chainsaw on a heavily armoured exterminator. The game crashed.
Attempt #7 - Found a grenade and used it on the speakeasy crowd. A zombie walked over it and the physics bugged out, kicking it back at me and at that moment it exploded.
Attempt #8 - Get back to the pastor. Assisted suicide part bugs out so he won't go 'okay fine I won't ask you to kill me' and is just stuck on his knees waiting for me to shoot him, no matter how far I went or how long I waited. Despite my fraying patience, I refused to kill him and restarted.
Attempt #9 - Get back to pastor again. This time, the moment I come round the corner of the bar, the pastor SLIDES AT HIGH SPEED to the corner of the bar. Bewildered, I approached him to try and start the dialogue. Whenever I got close, he would then slide off at high speed a short ways away. He then slid to the bathroom door I had come through, which was still mostly ajar. His 'drunken slouch' animation cut out for a moment, as a door opening one played instead. He reopened the already open door and slid through. I ended up chasing him through the bathroom, down the hall and then he took a left into a hotel room, stopping and starting and sliding across the floor when I got close all the while. Then, finally, in the hotel room, he started his dialogue lines. But since he wasn't where he was supposed to be, ♥♥♥♥ was bugged out and no prompt to respond came up. No longer able to contain my frustration, I pulled out a sawed off double barrel and gave him a 12 gauge express ticket to heaven and quit on the spot.
Log off, go to bed, try again in the morning.
Attempt #10 - Assisted suicide part bugs out again so I can't spare him. I shoot myself.
Attempt #11 - Accidentally pick a different dialogue option so I never even get the choice to give him the bottle and get the extra loot. Assisted suicide part finally doesn't bug out and I spare him. I've had enough. I can't do this anymore. The extra loot is not worth it. Move on to the next mission.
I realise now, when he said the speakeasy was hell, he wasn't talking about the walkers. He was talking about how buggy this mission was and how much of a chore it would be to complete.

The slurred speech. Saying random shit and stupid jokes that aren’t all that funny and then repeating them again and again. Making an unnecessary mess in the kitchen. Falling asleep with, or on top of food or drinks. Feeling the need to show off in front of people as if I won’t react immediately. I don’t do disrespect, drunk and ‘messing around’ or not. I know he’s joking but when he’s drank so much, he doesn’t know when the joke stopped being funny. The thrashing, moaning, nightmare-filled, restless sleep that he can’t remember but I do because it kept me up all night long. He’s fallen off the bed or couch and injured himself but rarely remembers it, just feels the aching the next day. He’s not like this sober. He’s an amazing partner, best friend, and lover. Attentive, caring, soft. And he rarely gets drunk anymore. But fuck. He’s an alcoholic, always has been. It’s been much worse and it’s been better but it’s always just… been. He’ll wake up in the morning, and ask why I’m sleeping on the couch. He’ll watch the embarrassing video I sent of himself to him and I’ll tell him how obnoxious his behavior was. I feel like it doesn’t even matter. I tell him how it bothers me when he drinks heavily like that and I don’t like when he drinks liquor. He is a completely different person when he’s drunk but nothing I can say will change him if he doesn’t want to. Man. It just hurts loving somebody so much and knowing they may never actually get sober.

Greetings Everyone, I am 24M. I had no back related issue till now. But last year , I was standing on my table , suddenly tables left leg broke . So my back titled diagonally along with it like " / " ( suddenly) . I didn't feel anything at that moment. But after 6/7 hours , I felt it's difficult for me to sit. 2/3 days after the incident, every morning after getting up from bed, it was difficult for me to bend forward but if I walk 10/15 minutes ,it goes away . I can bend any direction I want without pain. The only problem I felt is that , I was unable to jump. Jumping causing some kind of shock/spasm in my lower back horizontally (waistline). If I want to run I got same types of shock /spasm/pain (I don't know what it is ).
Fast forwarding 2/3 months. It healed mostly. I can bend , walk. So I have tried running , I feeling mild shock /pain at the beginning but it goes away after running 5 minutes. The problem is next morning I have found out that my lower back difficulties alive again as before. So I have taken rest and such.
Fast forwarding 4 moure months, I have healed almost completely, but not completely. The symptoms I am facing is every morning or after lying in my bed for few hours ,, when I get up , if I want to bend I can bend not feeling any pain . But the problem is , I feeling some kind of pressure in my lower back, but goes away after bending 2/3 times.
But whenever I am lying on the for long time say 1 hour or something, I feel the same pressure during bending.Afterfew moments it goes away completely..
And this is happening constantly. One thing I have found out whenever I try to get up on my right side , I feel tick noise (not loud but faint) at the right side of my lower back. And it makes me feel better. (Afterwards I can bend with less pressure like almost normal). Otherwise I feel slight pressure during bending afterwards. But it goes away within 5 minutes. The more I move I feel more better
I can walk comfortably ( no issues )
I can jump now like from 1/2 stairs. I don't feel that shock. I can run with very slow pacing. Haven't tried faster running or jumping high. But I have felt small pressure on my lower back. So didn't try that due to the fear of making it worse .
Long story sort , I think something is wrong with right lower back side . ( It is side which got the sudden shock mostly during my table incident back September).
It's taking to long too heal with such small injury
I was like this on my table . After the incident my position had become like this . / . Left leg straight and right leg is compressed. So my lower back tilted like that / .
Any suggestions for complete healing? I can't afford to visit doc right now.

I've been having fun binging through these games again and posting thoughts here, thanks to everyone who's been engaging with me on them! I'm a fan who loved TWDG S1 when it came out, was content with TWAU, and hated TWDG S2 at launch. I was looking forward to the engine upgrade and when Batman turned out to have horrible technical issues at launch, I tuned out. Haven't played a Telltale game since, so this playthrough of Definitive I'm doing with my wife has been my first time replaying TWDG since that initial S2 playthrough and my first time playing new content now that we've made it to Season 3 (ANF).
I've gathered that ANF is the least popular season among the community, and although I'm happy to say I don't agree, I can definitely see why. It's a marked departure from past seasons in a few ways, not just by relegating Clem's story to the B plot. Since I already made a post about my initial reaction and thoughts on S2, I figured it would be fun to continue.
I'll get the negatives out of the way first: - Lots of unclear dialogue choices. It was way too common that we would pick something to say only to have Javier deliver it in a completely unexpected way, and this came up as an issue way more than last seasons.
I've if the most egregious examples was explaining my wound to Kate; I remember the options being something like ["Gabe messed up" / "It's nothing" / "I got myself stabbed"]. I had a caring relationship with Gabe and wanted to be a father figure to him, and he apologized the first chance he got. He knew he fucked up, there was no point in antagonizing him. I picked the third option.
"Got myself stabbed... Gabe got in the way. Anyway-", sorry, what?? Why explicitly present an option to throw Gabe under the bus when the other option I picked was basically the same thing?
I also didn't want to be an ass in the flashback with David, turning around to sign autographs the moment my brother opened up a bit. For whatever reason "not now" wasn't a "sorry, I can't right now" but a "hey fuck odd kid". There's no winning, lmao.

• Inconsistent art style. Don't know how to elaborate on this one much, just felt like the visuals looked great at some points and had in others. Couldn't decide if it felt like a full-on improvement or not.
  
• Wasted potential with Joan. This type of antagonist is boring. There's no good drama here and she feels more like a Bond villain than a troubled person trying to do what's best for their people. I played things very diplomatically and was bummed that the rebellion plan didn't have room to breathe.
  
• Kate, I get it, but this is awkward and I need you to take the hint.
  
• Usual Telltale issues. Characters just vanish and reappear based off of plot convenience. I also felt like there were a few times I didn't really get what our plan was at the moment but just rolled with it.
  
• Other usual Telltale issue: my god, is it just impossible to have a plotline last between seasons? I practically went through hell and back to get to Wellington and only got to spend 5 seconds there. At least this season actually had a consistent narrative throughline unlike Season 2.
  

Positives: - Best opening in the series. Easy.

• Unlike Season 2, I actually like this cast. I like the family drama and I think most of these characters feel compelling and realistically flawed. I was invested in trying to "save" David for the sake of the family and loyalty as a brother. Ultimately, he dug his own grave. The tragedy here worked for me.
  
• Have felt like what Ben and Sarah were supposed to be. Of the "liabilities" I liked that we actually had room to form a good relationship with him, and ultimately he seemed to show a lot of growth and maturity in my playthrough.
  
• The tonal shift was interesting. Going into inter-settlement politics and larger scale conflict was a nice change of pace. While I prefer the smaller scale stories of the other seasons I think this felt novel.
  
• Choices clearly mattered a lot more. I also really liked the Tripp / Ava fake-out. The choices felt a lot more consequential than they did in Season 2 and the twists had me more invested overall. It was nice to see characters have arcs and dynamic relationships based off of my decisions, instead of nonsense like Nick and Sarah.
  

I followed the advice to "go along with the plan" and yeah I think I'm glad I did. Conrad seemed like an ok guy in the end even though he was being a jackass in the moment.
Ultimately I got on well with pretty much everyone besides, tragically, David. I kept my promise to Papi but David was too far gone and didn't want to be saved. He ran off with Gabe who killed him himself when I stayed behind to save the city with Kate. I believed the folks who said most of Richmond was good people, and I wanted to do the right thing especially after my dipshit brother started a shootout.
I didn't get to shoot Joan which was a bummer, but I guess my Javi ended up being something of a pacifist anyway so I guess it worked out. Banishment is the ultimate punishment in this group and I like to imagine Javier earned a leadership role by being honest and respecting the New Frontier's ideals.
Overall I think I liked it, maybe a 6-7/10. In hindsight I think I'll put Season 2 as a 5-6 at best and S1 is still 9/10. I definitely prefer this one to Season 2 with its carnival of impressively unlikable people, railroaded decisions, and stupid decisions.
Maybe the biggest sticking point for me is that in this game about choices and consequences, I felt like despite everything I did get to have agency again this season. Season 2 is a whole 5 episodes of "if I really had any choice I wouldn't be with you hostile, frustrating, borderline useless people in the first place". Season 3 threw me into a family drama - importantly, a family I was actually a member of and had a reason to stick by.
We also played S4E1, but I'll talk about that more later. I'm sitting in bed after waking up early for Suhoor (happy Ramadan!) and my fingers are starting to hurt from gripping my phone, lol. I think it's the best first episode so far and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Hello! So my boyfriend and I just moved into a new apartment and have been furniture shopping and we found a love sac. This is an amazing piece of furniture and I would really like one, the only issue is it’s almost 2k for a new one and my boyfriend is scared of bed bugs so he doesn’t want to get a used one.
I’ve seen people make smaller ones using chunky yarn and stuffing or foam pieces but before I decide to take on this huge project I was curious if anyone has done anything similar and has any tips or advice to share! Thanks in advance!!!

I’m new here but definitely not new to having a JustNoMIL.
This is a super long story but the short version is that I’ve been NC with my in-laws since Christmas. It was a long time coming but the straw that broke the camel’s back was their reaction to me wanting to celebrate Christmas Day with just my husband, toddler and me, and I said we could drive down and have breakfast with them on the 26th. I gave other options (the 23rd, Xmas Eve, etc). As predicted, they reacted poorly with crying, screaming, guilt-tripping, hanging up on us, the works. I haven’t seen or spoken to them since and it’s made my life so much more peaceful.
Well, I just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2. They made my first pregnancy and postpartum experience hell. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to stand up for myself and set boundaries like I am now. So this time around we’re doing things my way. I’m asking for no visitors for probably 1-2 months because it will be right during cold and flu season and I just want time at home with our new family of 4 I’m bracing myself for the screaming, crying, etc. My husband and I are in counseling so he can learn to set boundaries and stand up for himself as well as us. So we have 8 months to work on it.

So a bit of history first
My dad (52M) and I (26F) have had a strained relationship growing up. I’m the eldest and have two sisters. My dad has always had quite a drinking problem, and growing up he was either not home (he was cheating on my mum and had another girlfriend in a different city) or when he was home I felt like I was walking on eggshells.
He’s never physically abused me but there’s always been verbal abuse, rage, intimidation, and manipulation. He can be extremely scary when he’s angry and usually, it would come from external stressors like work or marital issues, etc, then if something at home happened it would tip him over the edge and he would blow up. He and my mum would get into intense arguments in front of us and I remember him punching walls.
When I was around 16 I found out my mum was cheating on my dad (at this stage I didn’t know he had been cheating on her for a long time) and told her that she needed to tell him or I would. This caused a huge bust-up between them where he kicked her out of our house but they got back together shortly. My mum hated me for this for a while and used to tell my little sisters I was the reason this family was splitting up. This is also around the time when she decided to tell me about my dad’s many infidelities. This period of time in my life has never been spoken of or brought up ever again. I tried to talk about it once I left home as it had a huge impact on me but they got very defensive and warned me to shut up.
When they got back together they would have a lot of loud sex, to the point where from my room with the door closed I could clearly hear them both, and my bed would shake. This was really disturbing for me at that age and happened so frequently that I was too scared to have any of my friends stay the night for fear of them hearing. One night I ended up texting my parents to ask them to please stop as I don’t want to have to hear this. My dad responded with “no sorry we can’t” I remember feeling so disgusted with both of them and would constantly stay over at different friends houses to get away from it.
From then on my relationship with both my parents really crumbled. There were still good moments in our family but because of extreme highs and lows, it was hard to feel secure. My sisters and I would hear them having violent screaming matches, and my dad was so on edge he would end up screaming at us for whatever reason. It felt like there was no middle ground, just happiness or rage. I felt like a target because I was the oldest and ultimately I would try to challenge him and stand up to him which really only made things worse.
For this reason, I would never really feel that comfortable around my dad. He is the sort of guy who just demands to be respected, and doesn’t like anyone in our family to speak back to him, even if you only have a slight tone. I moved out when I was 18 and my relationship with my parents got a lot better with the distance, I almost forgot and buried the bad memories and carried on with my life.
Recent events:
Me (26f) and my partner (26m) of four years were in a situation where we were looking for a new place and my parents offered to rent a large house so that my partner and I could have one end and my mum and my sister could have the other end. We agreed because of our financial situation and it felt like a big enough house to be able to keep to ourselves. We still pay rent but it was cheaper than getting our own place.
So we began living together in December last year. At the end of January, my dad was having one of his out of control rages at my sister and her friend when my mum wasn’t home, so my sister and her friend were hiding from him in the bathroom. He screamed at them to come out and when my sister opened the door he grabbed her by the neck and pushed her out while also raging at my sister's friend who was frightened. My partner and I witnessed this and were horrified. This is when I stepped in and told him to leave, which he did. My sister was crying hysterically which really reminded me of my past self in a similar position, but for her, this was the first time he has treated her like this. So me, my other sister (now 23f) and my mum all stuck by my younger sister which lead my dad to avoid the house and all of us for a week, followed by sending us all an apologetic text about how bad he’s been feeling mentally and how he wants to leave for our sake and get his own place and see a therapist, etc. My mum ate this up and forgave him almost immediately. He kept saying he would seek therapy for his anger issues and we all ended up believing that part. Of course, no change happened. It was dusted under the rug and my poor sister was pretty much forced to get over it. Hasn’t been spoken about since and I hate myself for not doing more to hold him accountable for this.
Since then though I’ve felt uncomfortable around my dad in the way I used to feel when I was younger, I felt I did not really want to engage in much conversation with him but forced myself to keep the peace and be polite. He tries to play that part of a silly goofy dad sometimes, trying to break the ice by telling dad jokes and being all playful but this ultimately makes me even more uncomfortable because he’s never been that sort of dad in my eyes, as it can change in a switch. He does have a genuine funny side to him but so many negative things have happened that I find it hard to see him overall in a positive light.
Three days ago he brought his old motorcycle home. For context, my partner and I’s room is right next to the carport. On Thursday morning he started up the motorcycle and let it warm up, which jolted my partner and me awake, it was obnoxiously loud, so naturally, we were annoyed by this. I went to the lounge, I can see the bike is right next to the connecting wall to our room so, half asleep, I go up to my dad and say “hey dad that’s really loud can you please move the bike a bit further down the driveway?” He completely blows up at me, walking towards me swearing and yelling, telling me to fuck off, saying things like who am I to tell him what to do in his house. I began to back away and he followed me into the kitchen area while still swearing, so I quickly went back into my room and shut the door. At this point, I’m in total hysterics crying to my partner because I just can’t believe I’m dealing with this all over again. I called my mum and my sister, my sister was disgusted (she doesn’t have a good relationship with him and we share similar thoughts about him) and my mum was sympathetic for me too but said he’s under stress at work and she’s not getting involved.
So I sent my dad a text saying that it’s a disgrace that he thinks he can still speak to anybody like that and that we all pay rent here so we need to be considerate of each other and that he should have sought therapy when he said he would as I’m not going to be treated like this anymore. He responded by saying I’m selfish and full of shit and he’s terminating the lease (though he didn’t, it’s a bluff). I didn’t respond.
It’s been three days and I haven’t said a word to him. Nor him to me. I feel I want nothing further to do with him unless he starts therapy. But it’s extremely hard to cut him out of my life completely while living under the same roof. I’m at University right now so I’m pretty broke. But I’m planning to leave eventually, my partner and I just need to build up the funds to do so and find somewhere that isn’t so expensive.
My mum is currently pretending like nothing is wrong and won’t even talk to me about what’s happened or how I’m feeling. My dad has also now brought my sisters' affection by paying for her car repair payments too, something he wouldn’t normally do. She said she felt bad accepting it given the situation but she needs the money and now feels she can’t get involved the way she would like to. My parents have also planned a family dinner with my grandmother at the end of next week and it just makes me sick the thought of having to play happy families.
I feel like his behavior and rages are never going to change and the only person who is supporting me fully right now is my partner. The most obvious solution is to move out but I’m not in a financial position to do so right away. Is it even possible to just ignore him for 6 months or a year until I can leave? I feel so stuck and don’t know what to do. I wish I never moved in here in the first place I honestly don't know what I was thinking, I guess I thought it would be different or better as an adult but now I feel like teenage me all over again.
TLDR: My dad has anger and drinking issues and after years of dealing with it, the most recent events have tipped me over the edge but I’m stuck in a house with him because of my financial situation.

On the weekends I'll to to bed 12 or later, and yet I still wake up around 8:00. For the love of God, I just want to get more sleep!! And to top it off half the time it is so bright in my room.