---Not everything I've ever read, just since I've decided to start keeping a list----- THE EXTREMELY LONG LIST OF EVERYTHING I READ ACTION: solo levelling - I'm not explaining this, read it if you havent 10/10
raise me up infinite gacha - same author as solo levelling, dude basically put into afk arena but it's good 9/10
rankers return - man the reviews for this one are mixed but it's just a very very niche genre, i loved it, imagine hardcore levelling warrior mixed with overgeared, really good and it's a piss take on the genre a little bit so u get to laugh a lot 8/10
sss class suicide hunter - readable, story is all over the place as well as power scaling, has a relatively generic plot too, not a bad read exactly but you may as well just read kill the hero or something. tldr mc respawns 24 hours ago whenever he dies so he's just super OP the end. 5.5/10 eminence in the shadow- Man... I'm really bummed about this one, imagine you know a really cool secret sesh spot and u go there to sesh sometimes and then u show up one day and u find out it's been built into a shopping mall, it's still really good but i don't know i hate when things i like get gentrified the second they make a anime out of it, happens a lot when you read these things, should have seen my reaction when i heard redo of healer was getting an anime, anyway dude basically trains like crazy and is super op and has 8th grade syndrome but it's funny 9/10
legendary mechanic- one of the extremely few Chinese manhua i can stand usually they are terrible and full of really cringe tropes, this one isn't completely free of those but it's ignorable, classic transported into game yadda yadda. escapes evil organization in a game, gets stronger with mechanical things, destroys people. honestly pretty good, 10/10 as far as Chinese manhua go, 7/10 total.
martial peak - it's alright i guess, very one piece coded, just imagine this is Chinese martial arts one piece. It's unnecessarily long, repeats the same format over and over again, you meet new characters u only see once or twice. boy is weak, gets strong martial arts thing (of course he does) becomes super strong over and over and over and over ... 24 or 25 more overs again. any time he becomes too op for the world he just goes to another higher existence world lol there's even a arc with spaceships lmao. if u like the genre and don't mind the literal like 8 page chapters this is a lot of manhua to entertain urself with. tldr if ur super bored this will keep u occupied for quite a while 6/10
tower of god - ok, the art isn't good for a while for this one, but seriously, it gets really really really good, story is confusing at times but it is really entertaining, I've read all of it up until current chapter, guy from outside a magic tower enters it to simp and then climbs it becoming really strong and simping less, very good read 9/10
player from today onwards- not bad, don't really like the art tho, dude inherits level up ability from demon king constellation 7.5/10
the youngest son of the renowned magic clan - if you've read any of those return to past fantasy world manhua this is that basically, read it if ur in the craving for some of this type. 6.5/10 return to player - this is probably almost up there with solo levelling honestly, very good manhua. imagine solo levelling but not solo and better art style, story is a bit worse but that's in comparison to solo levelling. 9/10
kill.the hero - gotta love a good necromancer manhua, this one is one of the better ones honestly. antihero necromancer evil as fuck "hero" 8/10
return of the frozen player - ur generic "player" type manhua, very good though, art isn't the best (still good) but unlike others of the genre the story is actually very well thought out and interesting, probably worth rereading more than a few others of the same genre. man gets frozen after beating the boss of the first floor of a 10 flooworld tower, after 25 years comes out and starts getting stronger to revive friends and conquer tower 8.5/10 what happens inside the dungeon- OK LISTEN RIGHT NOW, R 18+ WARNING!!!! That being said it's a really funny story about a fantasy world with... interesting sex culture, if ur 18+ and want to see a fantasy manga with cool action scenes and a lot of fan service and... other stuff... this one is pretty good 8/10
the wrong way to use healing magic- ok I'm gonna start off by saying, ahem- I WANT ROSE SO BAD I WANT HER SO BAD SHES SO FIND I WANT HER SO INCOMPREHENSIBLY BAD. ok with that out of the way this is a really fun take on the "hurr Durr i use healing magic but not to heal people" fantasy setting. probably my favourite in that category. dude gets accidentally summon to another world with hero classmates, has aptitude for healing magic, gets kidnapped by my wi- ... Rose... and trained into a combative healer. very fun, equal parts comedy, action, Isekai and fantasy. something i would recommend to people who don't like Isekai. 9.5/10
Carsearin - cute little story about a dragon wanting to live like a human and getting up to a lot of shenanigans, art style is super cute 7/10
Is this hero for real? - FFF class trashero creator i think, crazy good, even has a master molong reference :3 mc can't die or be injured but can't level up past level 1 and a shitty goddess 10/10
overgeared - personally very biased this one can go either way, i personally like it a lot, it's a manhua about a dude who gets a legendary class in a realistic VR game and his shenanigans, again, I've finished the almost 2000 chapter light novel because i liked it so much so very biased score 9.5/10
hardcore levelling warrior- you will either love the art style or hate it, in my opinion i think it's super cool and innovative and the manhua itself is very entertaining and interesting too, best player in a vrmmorpg gets his shit deleted, has to start from the beginning and becomes strong again because he's addicted to gambling and has to pay off a massive debt. more shit happens but that's spoilers anyway 8.5/10
the greatest estate developer- i mean it's not bad but it's not really great, at least it tries to be innovative but not my kind of thing, blah blah generic Isekai manhua but mc knows how to build buildings and makes money and uses a shovel as a weapon. 6.5/10
THOSE ONES: Mina sama omocha desu- the one with the crazy girls, nothing really special but at least interesting? good if bored and ijousha no ai has been recently read (if not read that first) 6/10
ijousha no ai - I'm not explaining this one, it's the god i wish i was MC one of those, first few chapters are awkward to read because reasons so just Try to ignore them, very easy 10/10
ana satsujin - basically just a worse ijousha no ai from what I remember, mc isn't as real and it's pacing is a bit worse so only this rating but it's still pretty good 7/10
GS FOR FEELING NOSTALGIC: Asuka hybrid - super super super cute, not good exactly in a solo leveling way or anything but i love the art style, premise and characters, one of the better GS manga 9.5/10
Boku girl - every day i wish for a sequel to this one, even easier perfect score than solo levelling 10/10
Mida love - Some of these are just really fun and god, i was like 14 or something when this stopped getting translated feels super bad, another one of the better ones but only 20 chapters 8/10
nyotai ka - aged like fine wine, the one that actually has sex in it, dude wishes to be a chick and then ruh roh raggy anyway 8.5/10
sekainohate de aimashou- If any manga of this category were to EVER give Boku girl a run for it's money it's this one, goofy as fucking hell, the space one 10/10
the exploding girl - haha this one is just, fun i guess, i could have put it in action but nah, probably sadder about this one getting discontinued than Mida love, Mida love is better in like almost every way but this one is just really fun in an unexplainable way, GB magical girl story but edgier 8/10
tensei pandemic - basically downgraded Boku girl, just imagine it's like the nicotine patches for when u get nicotine poisoning from smoking too much Boku girl, can be pretty hard to finish sometimes 6/10
change- the pink pretty one nuff said, pretty good but have fun translating the Indonesian If u want to read the last 80% of it like high school hahahaha 7/10
thank you Isekai - one of the best Isekai comedies I've read in a very long time, if you don't really like GS this would be the one GS manga I'd recommend you, it's really funny, Isekai but 2 dudes get trapped in the bodies of chicks, goofy behavior ensues. 8/10
ROMANCE:

(content warning: this is one especially is extremely biased to just what i like, it's ok for this specific category if u have differing opinions)

hatsukoi zombie - really fun, love zombie concept is cute and fun really worth a read if ur bored and haven't ever read a decent romance manga 8/10
When I Returned to My Hometown, My Childhood Friend was Broken - TW: SA other than that, cute story about a guy moving back to his hometown to see his childhood friend seems off but they hit it off and he is very sweet to her and the art style is cute but it is a bit short. don't read the comments wherever u read it though, no clue how romance manga somehow manages to attract sigma grindset red pilled bros. 8.5/10
story of an otaku and a gyaru falling in love - not really traditional, just thought it was really cute, definitely worth at least one read 7/10
Jingai San no tome - this is quite possibly the strangest romance manga you will ever read, also a very well written and done one too, basically a student marries a monster and they live together happily it's really cute, other students also have monsters and they hang out and stuff. super cute manga, i loved it. 8.5/10
SHOUNEN/MAINSTREAM: (Here i will just put anything i consider to be so mainstream i don't care enough to put it in another category, you probably know most of these) Black clover: I. Will. Eternally. Gatekeep. This. Series. YOU DO NOT KNOW IT LIKE I DO. THIS MANGA HAD A 1 EPISODE ANIME FOR 2 YEARS AND IT DROVE ME NUTS WAITING FOR THE REST OF THE ANIME. anyway really good manga honestly, one of the few Shonen i can stand. boy can't use magic, gets ability to use magic that destroys magic, gets super buff and can destroy even more magic, there that's the entire plot summarized 8/10
Attack on Titan: ok so brave statements only on this list, i really don't recommend attack on Titan or like it, in my opinion it's very boring and the characters are unlikeable and there's too much sus shit. big naked people destroying walled cities or something idk, bedtime manga only worth reading as a child or bored out of your mind. 5/10.
My hero academia: ok honestly? it's not even that bad the fanbase just sucks, that makes it not as bad as AOT at least, boy can't use power, finds way to use a lot of power, beats people with powers. 7/10
one piece: I mean, depends how you read it, if u just skip to water 7 or marineford its a 7/10 and becomes a 8/10, if u read from the start get ready to read the most 4-5/10 boring ass shit for at least 400-500 chapters. boy wants to be pirate king, eats magic fruit that gives powers, other people also eat different fruit, still wants to be most powerful and assembles characters to help him be the most powerful fruit eater. 7/10 overall. tensei shitara slime Datta Ken: I'd put this in action or something but it's mainstream now. this is THE Isekai manga, if you had to give the title of Isekai manga to one manga this is the only one deserving of that title. dude summoned to other world, becomes slime, can grow by eating things, rinse repeat, if you read the LN there's even some Lovecraft stuff is it obvious i like this one yet? 9/10
ao no exorcist: I'm a sucker for demons and underdogs, mc is both, also mephisto pheles is a fucking stud and i want him horrendously. tldr boy is son of Satan wants to kill Satan because Satan kills adoptive father. 8/10

For those with automatics, how would you describe the shifts? My AT has had a complicated life and I’m getting conflicting opinions about the correct fluid level.
What I can tell seat of the pants is that the lower level feels firm and a slight bit harsh under low load, a bit more so under high load, but not unpleasantly so. It feels… definitive and crisp.
On the higher fill it feels buttery smooth barely noticeable shifts even punching it. They’re still fast shifts, but the feeling is very different.
I know the level affects it because one shop saved the fluid and refilled it after correcting a bad repair, and that shop said it was seriously overfilled. That’s the lower level - same fluid.
Trying to get some sense of that feel so I know when there’s a problem since it’s not trivial to determine the level. Thanks!

Part 1 - https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/11ovngn/i_play_a_game_they_call_sleep_points_every_night/
Previous Part - https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/13deva8/i_play_a_game_they_call_sleep_points_every_night/
When I got home from school, even though I knew the clock wasn’t literally going to try to eat me alive like it always seemed to want to on weeknights, I still watched it intensely, dreading every minute that passed. Even though this had all been what I was hoping for over the course of the last week and a half, going through with everything I would need to do to meet up with Anastasia at her hour in the middle of the night still seemed way scarier than just dealing with the clock’s nightly threats against my life which, by that point, had become something of a routine for me.
At 11:00 PM, my parents looked like they had gone to sleep. I would wait another hour as Anastasia had advised. I would leave at midnight. And that wouldn’t be a problem since it was a Friday night, and my clock wasn’t going through its usual changes. By that time, the clock hadn’t started glowing or even turning the slightest shade of red.
When midnight did come, the clock was still in the same state as it was at 11. My parents were still asleep. They hadn’t even gotten up for a bathroom break. I turned on the kitchen lights, hoping it wouldn’t wake my parents up. It didn’t. I went to the kitchen table to take the keys to my father's truck. They weren’t there. I had no idea where else to look for them.
I tried looking all around the kitchen and living room. I checked mom and dad's bathroom. Nothing. I didn’t know how I would make my way to Anastasia’s house now. I could just picture her, spending all night at her back door, waiting for me to show up, without me ever coming. Maybe I'd find the keys tomorrow. But that seemed like a fat chance since dad wasn't gonna be driving anywhere tomorrow.
I wouldn't have him to find them for me. It looked like I’d have to wait a whole nother week on any answers now.
I had recently invested in a new watch. I had some allowance money left over from when I was a kid. My school has a little gift shop with small things like school-themed wristwatches, so after my last class of the day, I stopped by and picked up a College High watch so I could check the time without needing to look at the clock in my room or at my phone. I'm bringing this up because at around this point I was watching with increasing anxiety as time was passing by. According to the watch, the time now was 12:30 and I still didn’t have any access to my father’s car.
I was already feeling hopeless enough, just thanks to that fact, but then I remembered that I still didn’t even know how to get to Anastasia’s house.
Since I still didn’t know where the keys were and it didn’t look like I’d find them any time soon, I figured I’d take a break from looking, and go on my phone to look up her address on google maps. I knew I shouldn’t have been using my phone since it was apparently super important not to let it die. I figured it must've been one of those rules like keeping my head under the blanket when The Sandman showed up, along with the rest of my body. But I would only need my phone for a few minutes. Just enough time to look at google maps and sketch out a rough map of the route from my house to Anastasia’s.
The first thing I noticed when I typed in her address was that, thankfully, her house wasn’t too horrendously far away from mine. It would just be a 4-mile drive. So hopefully this meant that, if push did come to shove, I could still just walk there if I had too. I’d probably be late, but that would be better than not showing up at all. So, I at least had that as a back-up plan if nothing else. But it would still be risky. It would take a lot of time to walk there, and then to walk back. Maybe mom and dad would be up after all was said and done. Maybe they’d hear me coming back inside the house, regardless of how I made it to Anastasia’s. Maybe I’d wake up Anastasia’s parents too.
Since I only had an hour and thirty-five minutes left, I had no time to worry all that much about any of this though. I had to get to work, jotting down the path to Anastasia’s house. I would turn left out of my driveway, stay on that road for about a mile and a half, then turn right and stay on that road for another half-mile, then turn left for another mile, and then left again for a final fourth mile.
Another thing I noticed was that Anastasia lived out in the middle of absolute nowhere. I thought I did too, but Anastasia’s house was on a whole nother level of out there.
Fortunately, that meant I’d be driving pretty much exclusively on backroads, so it would literally be impossible to take a wrong turn after I made my first turn out of the driveway and the next right turn after that after about a mile and a half. It also meant that I would be pretty much guaranteed not to run into any other drivers, especially at that time of night. But I guess her remote address explained why she didn’t have the internet connection she would need to do a video call.
Since it was a quarter to 1 by that point, after I found out how to drive to her house, I put on all the layers I could find, took the flashlight that my mom had given me for the walk I had went on during the week prior, and started trying to walk over there, without my parents’ car, despite her recommendations. Even though it was four miles by car, I wouldn't have to worry about staying on the road if I just walked there. If I walked in a straight line, I could get there in just over 2 and half miles or so. I had decided to leave, not out of the front door, but out of the door in the hallway that led to the garage. That door made less noise than the front door.
Unfortunately, I started to get the sense that I hadn’t thought this plan through when I realized I would still have to open the garage door in order to make my way into the outside world. Which, yeah, made considerably more noise than the front door. But then I realized it didn’t matter, since I was gonna have to open the garage door anyway if I wanted to get the car out of the garage and onto the road. So, I had still made the right decision. Except no I hadn’t, because I had just remembered that I still didn’t have the car keys, and so I was supposed to be ditching the whole car idea anyway and had just randomly forgotten about all of that.
I know that all probably sounded pretty messy and wasn't very easy to follow, but maybe someone else reading with ADHD can relate. But anyway, confusing thought processes aside, I walked out the front door and started making my way to Anastasia’s on foot. It really was freezing though. I really did wonder if I could actually make it all the way to her house.
Before I even made it to the end of the driveway, I began to change my mind and decided driving really would be a more reasonable alternative. Obviously, the backroads wouldn’t even be close to snow plowed. But the snow only looked to be about maybe 6 or 7 inches deep, which was still driveable enough with the snow-proof tires that my dad had on his truck. This level of snow isn't all that uncommon around here, so those tires are pretty much a must-have for anybody living in deathly cold climates like us.
So, I could still drive despite the snow, albeit only very slowly what with how much the snow would slow me down. But I was supposed to be driving slowly anyway because I was only 14 and didn’t have a license. But I still couldn’t drive without those keys. Then I remembered I still had my bike in the garage. It was supposedly “all terrain”, so hopefully that meant it could handle the snow. I went into the garage, got my bike out, and tried riding it. Unfortunately, the tires on that bike weren’t even close to capable of handling the snow. I tried pedaling as hard as I could but hardly got anywhere before falling over. I had a feeling this would probably happen. It seemed like a dumb idea but, since I didn’t want to steal my dad’s truck and I couldn’t even seem to find his keys anyway, I figured it was at least worth a shot.
I was just about to say “fuck it” and try meeting Anastasia again on some other night when, just as I had put my bike down in the garage, I had seen that my dad had left behind his keys in the key slot of his car door. Apparently, the reason that they weren’t where they usually were was because my father had locked the truck and just forgot to take his keys with him. I turned the key sticking out of the driver’s side door and it opened. So I really could get inside of his truck after all.
I put the key into the ignition and then put it in reverse. The truck made quite a bit of noise when its ignition started, so I had just hoped that I hadn’t woken up my parents with that. Luckily, my garage is on the other side of the house from where my parents sleep, so the sound did at least have a long way to travel. Once I started backing the truck out of the garage and into the driveway, I ran into another problem. Since the roads weren’t plowed, they were just as snowy as anywhere else. So even with the rearview mirror, I had no idea where my driveway stopped and the road started. I figured I would just keep backing up until I felt like I’d gone far enough.
Far enough came sooner than expected though. Eventually, the car had very clearly backed into the grass, meaning I had backed up too far. Fortunately, I saw that I hadn’t veered too much out of the straight line I was trying to go in, because driving in reverse meant I could see the truck’s tracks right in front of me with the help of the headlights. The car fell onto the grass from back to front. So that meant that the road was now directly in front of me. Since I needed to take a left from my house if I was facing away from it, and I was now facing the opposite direction given that I was looking right at it, that meant that I now had to make a right turn in order to still be going in the right direction.
I took a moment to make sure my logic was right and, once I felt confident, I turned the truck right and then tried to feel for where the road was based on how well the truck was able to move. Eventually I was able to drive relatively smoothly, so I took that to mean that I was back on the road. I tried to angle myself properly so that I wouldn’t wind up veering off the road again. Now and then I would wind up driving myself off the road. But since I was only going like 5 miles an hour, I was able to catch myself before the car wound up falling into any ditches or something.
Since the road was entirely empty, I eventually made the decision to just drive in the middle of the road. Or at least, wherever I thought the middle of the road was. That way, I’d limit the likelihood of driving myself off the right edge.
After about 20 or 30 minutes of driving painfully slowly, I finally saw the sign for my first turn. Since all the turns I was making were fairly sharp ones, they were basically all 90 degrees, there were road signs that I could use to gauge when I should turn without needing to see the road itself. So I still knew when to do it, even though I couldn’t see the road under all the snow and I couldn't use GPS since my phone had to stay on the charger at all costs.
But the snow still made those sharp turns very difficult to make. So I had to start all my turns pretty far ahead of where they actually would’ve been in the road. Naturally, I wound up driving off the road when making literally all of them. But I was always able to work out where the road was supposed to be soon enough. I guess since people are more likely to veer off the road when making turns as opposed to when they’re driving straight, there didn’t seem to be any ditches around all those sharp turns, thankfully enough.
After I made that first turn, I checked my watch. It was now a quarter after 1. I still had 50 minutes to go. I wasn’t making great time, but I had still made it about a third of the way in only about 25 minutes. If I kept up the pace, I’d be there after just under an hour of driving. Which would put me there a little bit after 2 AM. So, pretty much exactly at 2:05, the time we agreed on.
I kept on driving incredibly slowly for what felt like forever. Finally I had made my last turn, and after a bit, I could see lights from the houses off the side of the road in the distance. I figured that this must be the neighborhood Anastasia lived in. If you could even call it a neighborhood. The houses were so hugely spaced out that it hardly even made sense to say you had neighbors. But then, she really did live out in the middle of nowhere.
Every time I passed by a house, I got out of the car and looked for an address with my flashlight. This slowed me down, but it still ensured that I would be headed for the right house. I kept the slip of paper with her address on it since I knew that, without that sheet, I’d absolutely forget which address was hers. I was actually pretty pleased with myself for having thought ahead like that. I usually didn’t. I guess I still usually don’t, if I’m being honest.
I was worried that this whole procedure of getting out of the car to scope out for an address every time I passed a new house would make me late. But fortunately, Anastasia’s house was the third house I came across on that street. So thankfully, I didn’t wind up having to check that many houses and it only cost me maybe another 5 minutes. When I checked my watch, I found I had actually arrived sooner than I had thought. Even with checking every house I had come across up to that point for the address, it was only 1:50.
I had made it with 15 minutes to spare. That meant I had made that last two thirds of my trip in about the same amount of time that I had spent on my first, meaning I had wound up going twice as fast. I suppose as I had gotten comfortable with driving, I sped up the car a little without even realizing it. Doubling your speed sounds like it should be a huge difference, but when you’re only going from 5 miles per hour to 10, I guess it must be pretty hard to notice.
Since I had so much time left and the weather outside was still hellishly cold, I stayed in the truck with the heater blaring. After a couple of minutes, I noticed an ominous red light glowing out of the side of the house. That seemed off to me since surely that couldn’t have anything to do with Anastasia’s clock. It wasn’t a weeknight and even if it was, it was still well past midnight. I remembered what she had told me about how I was still on Stage One. Maybe the fact that she was on a much later stage had something to do with what I was seeing. The fact that I was still on Stage One did, after all, seem like it had something to do with the fact that I was only threatened by the clock on weeknights.
My curiosity had gotten the better of me, and so I braved the cold and snow to go check out what was happening. There was a window on the side of the house. The curtains were left open so with the red light blaring from it, I could see inside fairly easily. Especially since the house was only one story, so it wasn’t like the window was too high up off the ground for me to see through, either.
My fears had been confirmed. Upon looking into the room, I could see exactly where the red light was emanating from: the clock on the nightstand. The face inside was as clear as ever. Every feature slowly growing, approaching the glass in front of the clock’s face. But it wasn’t looking at me. It was very clearly directing its vile and hateful gaze at the person under the covers.
The person had her head covered underneath the blanket, so I couldn’t directly tell who it was. But I figured it had to be Anastasia. For one, there was no way in hell anybody else in her family was playing Sleep Points too. I mean, what are the odds of that? And for another, the room pretty clearly looked like it belonged to a teenage girl about Anastasia’s age. Everything looked like it was pink and had all kinds of frills to it. I even noticed some boyband poster on the other end of the room. If this wasn’t the most stereotypical teenage girl’s room, I had no fucking clue what was.
Finally, 2 o’clock had come. I could see why she had told me 2:05. I had never seen the monster from the clock break out. I had always had my head under the covers whenever it happened. But since this was Anastasia’s clock and not mine and since the face in the clock was staring her down and not me, and since I had entire wall separating me from the thing, I guess I somehow managed to muster up the courage to watch the monster in action.
Suddenly, the hands and numbers of the clock’s face began to almost melt into the monster’s face. It had broken out of the sheet of glass holding it back. But that seemed to be the only thing that was broken. The rest of the actual clock remained pretty intact as the unspeakable thing from within started to slither out of the clock and onto the floor. Since the hands and numbers were still on its face, it kinda looked like they had been imprinted on it like some kind of tattoo artwork. It very quickly expanded in size and let out this unholy screech that I could hear very loudly even from behind the window. But Anastasia was still sleeping very peacefully. Totally motionless like nothing at all was going on.
It prowled around her bed, looking for the slightest sign of motion. It looked almost skeptically at her. As if it could tell whether she was really sleeping or not. And God only knows what would’ve happened to her if she wasn’t. Eventually the monster seemed satisfied with what he saw and shrunk himself down to his original size. He slid back into the clock and as he did so, there was one last glow of red light. The glass had been restored. It was now 2:01.

Woke up this morning and opened my bank account to see that the tax man came a knockin’.
I have car payments to make and a family to feed. Soooooo. Here we are.
—
All shipping is from Washington State.
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Formatting is Artist // Album // Details // Grade [Record/Sleeve] // Price.
Comment first. Then Direct Message. No Chats, Please.
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• Blacklake // Jazz Sabbath // Jazz takes on Sabbath songs. European Import // NM / NM // $25
• Boris // Noise // 2014 Release // NM / VG+ // $25
• Boris with Merzbow // 04092001 // Japanese Import (No Obi w/ original) // NM / NM // $45
• Bell Witch // Mirror Reaper // 2018 Canadian Repress. Red. // NM / NM // $55
• Bush // Sixteen Stone // 2015 European Re-issue & Remaster. 180 Gram Clear Vinyl. // NM / NM // $55
• Cannabis Corpse // Blunted At Birth // 45 RPM Limited Press // NM / NM // $20
• Circa Survive // Blue Sky Noise // 2010 Blue Translucent // VG+ / VG // $40
• Daniel Caesar // Case Study 01 // Red Vinyl // NM / NM // $20
• John Coltrane // Giant Steps // 1976 Atlantic Press // VG+ / VG+ // $40
• Earth // Hex; or Printing in the Infernal Method // 2014 Limited Edition Repress // NM / NM // $40
• Electric Wizard // Black Masses // Purple + Silver Split Vinyl // NM / NM // $30
• Emarosa // Relativity + Self-titled // 2015 2XLP Edition. Clear Vinyl // NM / NM // $70
• Florence + The Machine // High As Hope // Sealed // M / M // $20
• Headphones // Self-Titled // 2005 Original Press // NM / NM // $35
• Lorde // Pure Heroine // European Import // NM / NM // $25
• Lycus // Chasms // Limited Press. Gold & Black Merge Vinyl. // NM / NM // $20
• Mad Season // Live at the Moore // 2015 First Press // NM / NM // $125
• OM // Conference of the Birds // Transparent with Purple Smoke Vinyl // NM / NM // $20
• Pink Floyd // Wish You Were Here // 1982 CBS Mastersound Half-Speed Master. Complete. All original including hype sticker. VERY Clean. // VG+ // VG // $200
• Porcupine Tree // Fear of a Blank Planet // 2018 KScope Reissue // NM / NM // $25
• Queesnrÿche // Empire // 2018 Limited Edition 180 Gram Audiophile Vinyl. Red Translucent. // NM / NM // $55
• Red Hot Chili Peppers // Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik // 2012 180 Gram Reissue // NM / NM // $35
• Rush // Moving Pictures: Live 2011 // 180 Gram // M / M // $40
• Soundgarden // Screaming Life + Fopp EP // 2013 Loser Edition. 2XLP Blue Transparent + Clear Vinyl. // NM / NM // $35

I feel awful making multiple posts here but that seems to kind of be the theme of this subreddit so I hope it's okay. I apologize in advance for all the words, the full context I feel is very important.
He broke up with me on the 29th of May suddenly and then packed all my stuff up at the apartment and dropped it off on the 31st. He tried to break up with me March 1st but we had just recently moved and that was full of fights and pain but we got through it and April and May were so happy and wonderful.
No matter what I said on either day though in May I couldn't get through to him. Both days we had a conversation for hours. Me, trying hard to tell him all the solutions to these problems he was bringing up or the fact that I just couldn't have done anything about one of them at that time. Telling him I'd take a break for as long as he needed, I'd watch the pets if he wanted to travel, I'd go to couples therapy, begging him to just think about it and him telling me he's thought about it, and telling me "sometimes even though two people love each other its not enough" as if we had been fighting for months or had irreconcilable differences in life paths. He expressed that it did not come from a desire to be single, that he needed to be alone, needed to "find himself', that there wasnt someone else, that he loved me so much, etc.
We had been cry laughing together on the 27th. And a few days prior he wrote some songs with a friend he had been planning with for years and wrote in lyrics that were references to things we liked, and he was so excited to show me and get my opinion. These are serious recordings that will be released at some point. The night before he was worried I hated him for something and wanted my hugs and comfort. The next morning he was different and I said "This relationship is good and it works!" and he shouted back "Maybe for you!" And I feel so insane still. He was crying his eyes out saying he was breaking his own heart too, and when he dropped off my stuff he hugged me 3-4 times for so long and tried to comfort me. He said that yes theres a part of him that wants to try but he cant, even though I kept making him cry by bringing up all the plans we had. He said that when the good moments were good they were really good but the bad moments were really bad. Which isn't even really true. I am a stable, healthy and patient individual. I dont name call, I dont raise my voice.
We've texted twice, once about the stuff he gave me, and the other was me asking if he blocked me somewhere. Both times he seemed put together and calm which freaked me out. Maybe hes fine without me, maybe this is truly something he wanted. But just last April we were having a wonderful time. He worked so hard for my birthday, he got sad at the end of the month and made a joke about running away together. In May I wanted to watch Eurovision with him and he got all into it. We didnt get to watch the finale together but we talked about it when he got home. We were watching each others childhood movies, he bought a Wii and a bunch of old GameCube games that were $60 dollars each so we could play together. We had just gone grocery shopping with a list and talked about how it was so much smarter. We had plans for future dinners and our 3 year anniversary was coming up on June 6th. We were decorating our bedroom as the last room in the apartment and had just bought some wall decor and new handles for drawers on furniture. He texted me he loved me and that he'd be home tomorrow with a cute little smiley face and was all excited to tell me about the festival. Things felt like they were evolving into something stronger and better. There were no signs, no fights, etc. He has always remarked on how special this relationship is, how different it is to him than previous ones, how thankful he was to me for "finding him" and how he's shared personal things to me he's never shared with anyone ever. It was and is a very special, very insanely compatible relationship on all fronts and accounts. He's always been afraid of losing me and we'd talked about long term commitment although shyly.
He's struggling with a binge disorder and his weight/body image and dreading the Summer. He had just recently started up smoking but not fully yet. He took a supposedly small dose of mushrooms at a festival the night before but seemed fine and came back and said it was "beautiful." A friend did tell him he "embodied the darkness" though which he didn't love. He's turning 30 this month and was worried about our age (I'm 23) and having a bit of a midlife crisis as it were with more self image issues. He's been diagnosed Bipolar 2, medicated and in therapy the whole time I've known him (4 years, dating officially for 3) and a year or two before then. He's on a low dose of both Wellbutrin and Lamictal and while he's a bit forgetful he's not opposed to taking them. He's not Borderline diagnosed but has been told he has traits.
I read Loving Someone With Bipolar and the anger, irritability and fatalistic, doom and gloom thoughts are very much him and I've read so many peoples posts on here. So many people saying how their partners brought up "compatibility" suddenly. I don't want to kid myself and blame this breakup on his illness but it just doesnt add up. No one I've spoken to has understood and I've walked people thru word for word text messages and beat by beat breakdowns of the events of these past months. It's now June 10th and he hasn't tried coming back yet and so I feel a bit like I'm being an idiot but I don't know. He had an on and off again relationship with his ex though and they didnt share at all what we share so it just doesnt make sense or seem fair.
I know I've posted a lot here, I'm so sorry. Anything anyone has would be so helpful. I cannot come to grips with the fact I'm living at home right now especially given my house situation is really fucked right now which makes this even more confusing for him to do. I don't want to be delusional but it's not adding up at all.

I see a lot of people talking about how bad AirBNB is, but I don't ever hear anyone discussing the broader macro trends behind the surge in STR in general.
You really have to study the fact that there are so many people looking to rent out houses as de facto hotel rooms, meaning that much of America is just an amusement park for people with money. Towns with crippled economies that used to depend on strong local industries now have multi-generational wealth tied up in providing rentals for foreign nationals and big city high income professionals who want to come tour their once bustling regions.
The degree of American decline that must be present for this to happen is staggering, because it means that there were no families in need of the housing, nobody really taking advantage of the land, nobody creating anything or bringing it to market... and no other source of comparable income.
America feels like an abandoned circuit city building sometimes and AirBNB is just the Spirit Halloween store that is taking advantage of the free real estate.
A country that basically is willing to rent its most intimate, coveted communities out to anyone with a pulse because, well, to hell with it... isn't a strong, healthy country. There's not really a housing crisis, per se.
There's just a country that increasingly is just a place for people from real countries to come and visit, quaint like a little pub in England, toothless and fun with a McDonalds and a quirky coffee shop around every corner.
It's amazing to be living through such times and have almost nobody discuss these things openly. Almost like a daydream that you're experiencing that you can't bring yourself to realize is your actual life unfolding, like a spectator to what is transpiring in our own world. And I can't make anyone see it. And perhaps you won't see it either?

My husband and I have been seeing a therapist for 2 months now in an attempt to resolve the growing, festering friction in our relationship over JNMIL. We’ve been married roughly a year and in that year she has:

• created an enormous amount of drama and princess-level tantrums at our wedding, to the extent of one of her outbursts leaving me crying on the floor of our hotel lobby the night before our wedding.
  
• completely disregarded my wishes at my baby shower, treated it as her own personal “grandmother-to-be” party. Treated me and members of my family poorly,
  

-upon anticipation of JNMIL visiting us after baby’s birth, in peak RSV season, we sent a request of very reasonable request for her visit (wear a mask if sick, don’t kiss the baby, wash hands, get your vaccines). She challenged the request and made a huge stink about not wanting to get a vaccine.

• upon said visit, baby unfortunately caught RSV from my husband. To a severe degree that she was in the ER. JNMIL threw a fit that we wouldn’t allow her to come to hospital with us and LO. When I told JNMIL the next morning that I’d be keeping baby back in our room to get some undisturbed rest, she threw a major tantrum on “how is she supposed to be entertained?!” And dropping oh so subtle hints on how we needed to reimburse her plane tickets for the visit bc we kept the sick, unable to breathe, baby from her the whole visit.
  
• she visited around thanksgiving and blew a total fuse because she bought the baby an outfit, expected baby to wear her outfit all day. This being my first thanksgiving as a mom, I had already picked out baby’s outfit at least a month prior. JNMIL spent the whole day stewing and mumbling pissy comments about how she couldn’t get a Facebook selfie with the baby in her outfit. Thanksgiving ended with her throwing a major tantrum, storming out of the house in my husbands car, killing his battery while she sat in his running car for hour stewing, my husband having to abandon cooking thanksgiving to run out and find her. And the 3 of us inevitably sitting in silence eating a cold dinner that she ruined.
  
• Christmas we made a decision to get all grandparents the same gift, a custom ornament of LO and nice Waygu steaks. She was pissed she didn’t get her standard extravagant gift card from DH. All other grand parents were grateful, thanked us. She couldn’t have even been bothered to tell us she received our package. Spewed her bitchiness in my face when I simply asked her if she ever received her Christmas gift in the mail.
  
• January is where she crossed a line. We were attending a large family gathering and she is a diaper-change hovering grandparent. Mid diaper change, she decided to flick my LO in her lady parts. Knowing she’d react poorly and ruin the family event, DH and I decided it best to address it with her at after the event. Told her that while she may have meant it as an endearing thing like a cheek pinch, we do not want her doing anything of that nature again. We do NOT want any touching in that area normalized. She flew off the handle, made threats to sue me for defaming and accusing her of being a pedophile, and spread the drama to the whole family.
  

Since this string of events, me and DH have been in violent disagreement. I have asked we go temporary NC until she apologizes, even for just 30 days… he refuses, doesn’t want to cut off JNMIL. He makes excuses for her just being a “strong willed Italian woman” and seems to get annoyed that I let her upset me. Tells me if he were me, he’d be over all of this already.
I thought we were making progress with therapy when we had agreed we’d both speak to her as a team, let her know she’s hurt me, ruined precious moments I’ll never get back as a newly wed or first time mom, and that she owes me an apology, or she will no longer be in our lives.
Monday came around and we had our call with her. There was a lot of comments to the effect of “I don’t remember doing that”, gas lighting, “that’s just who I am and I’m not changing”, and general victim blaming…. Accusing me of just getting upset over everything. I ended the call asking her how she could expect to be invited to LOs first birthday in a few months if she refuses to apologize. She said she expects to be invited, won’t speak to me, and will act however she wants.
Since then, there’s been nothing but fighting with DH. He defends his mother, looks at me with disappointment, and “just wants us to get along”. I have taken the high road with this woman an exhausting number of times. Every time it has screwed me, and left me inviting her to yet another event/life moment that she inevitably destroys. I don’t know why DH won’t support my need to protect our family and our precious early memories with LO by setting boundaries… all I’m asking is for her to apologize and for her to at least commit to doing better around us. If not, we take a 30 day break.
Yesterday our therapist asked us if our disagreement on the topic of JNMIL has gotten to the point where we are considering separating. Saddened to say that a year into marriage, I never expected my husband to defend someone who hurts his wife so badly. If things continue, I’m afraid that’s my only option.

I am suddenly extremely hateful of everything... and I can't understand why...
Ehh... probably just one of THOSE days...
Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Memory Transcription Subject: Marcel Fraiser
Date [Standardized human time]: November 13, 2136
God… Dammit… construction isn’t even completed, and we already have a riot…
GOD FUCKING-...
I hate the fact that I’m already having to deal with this so soon… I sighed as I turned to walk over to a part of the wall where I had a hidden compartment. Pressing in the code on a concealed keypad revealed a hidden compartment where a special pack was kept. I slung the pack along my back and clipped a special bracelet interface on my wrist.
I hope I can deter them away, I really don’t want to use violence if I can avoid it.
“M-Marcel?! What are you-? Are you planning to go down there?!” Slanek spoke up with much concern in his voice. He was always someone who cared greatly for my safety.
“Don’t worry Slanek… I’ll be fine. I’ll handle this.”
I walk out of my office and make my way to the security office where I see the many cameras of the parking lot. The rioters waved their signs which had the shapes of humans on fire and earth with a cross over it… These fuckers…
I take my seat next to the security officer, and begin to speak into the intercom. “Cease your aggression, predatory behavior from you lot will not be tolerated.'' The moment I speak through the intercom, the rioters seem to show offense to the idea of me calling the predatory. I continue, “You are transgressing on human institutions which are meant to improve your ways of life, and deter you away from the horrid practices of the Federation, your anti-human sentiment is unacceptable under new development. You are to disperse immediately, failure to comply will be met with defensive action against you.”
I let the words hang as the people in the crowd seemed to reconsider the course of action they should take. A Venlil spoke up however, “See?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE ARE AGAINST THEM! They will use violence against us if we don’t get them off our planet!”
…
Fucking idiots…
The riot went back to what it was doing before…
I checked to see the status of the defensive perimeter of the station, the turrets were loaded with the standard bean bag rounds and the water cannons were ready to fire highly pressurized water. The water heated quite a bit as well…
“I will give you one last warning… disperse immediately… your behavior is predatory in all ways and will not be tolerated.”
They did not cease… if anything they just got worse, they began to hurl rocks into the building. They were breaking several windows and seemed to be getting closer to the main door. I saw that a few had what seemed to be hair spray and lighters…
… So be it…
I nodded for the security officer to activate the defensive grid to rid us of this riot. I watched from the cameras as six turrets were revealed from their underground storage containers along the building and began to fire into the crowd. Bean bag rounds were fired from gatling turrets and launched tear gas from along the top into the largest parts of the crowd. The water turrets began to blast the crowd with heated water, blasting them back and causing many to drop their signs… They began to scream as the turrets began to fire, many in the crowd began to bolt out of the parking lot to escape the barrage of water and beanbags. Many were stumbling as they began to scramble and scatter. Once the smoke cleared, it revealed at least a dozen that were in the parking lot splayed out on the ground.
I got worried and figured the best course of action was to notify the paramedics regarding the riot. Maybe provide government officials with a recording of the riot as well… Not even until construction is completed… Fucking-...
I’m just… Tired…
Memory Transcription Subject: Jasuri, Zurulian Paramedic
Date [Standardized human time]: November 13, 2136
The Headquarters was fucking rioted… Their headquarters was fucking rioted!
…
They’re going to murder us all!
These morons! They riot and bring us closer to death with every bit of anti human propaganda they spout! Don’t they understand what they’re doing? Do they not have brains to think with?! Humanity was enraged enough as is! To dare to step on a twig while they’re sleeping is a recipe for extinction! People like them have already done enough!
We pulled up with three ambulances outside of the parking lot of the Police Headquarters. I burst open the ambulance rear door and ran out with the stretcher… There are several people scattered across the parking lot. I wheeled it over to the nearest person, a krakotl, who seemed to be a young adult.
My partner and I carefully lifted her onto the stretcher and began to wheel her away. We began to roll her over to the ambulance before I looked back at the entrance of the building. Walking over to us was the Overseer, Marcel…
Oh Great Protector be with me…
I was the higher ranked paramedic among my peers so they gestured me forward to converse with the human… I was terrified, but he seemed docile. I was lucky he didn’t express any anger. His facility was rioted, yet he seemed, collected.
“Hello there… M-Marcel… I am Jasuri… is there anything I-I could h-help y-you with?” I stuttered as he stared at me with a blank face.
“I am simply concerned… I don’t want anyone to have suffered fatal injuries…”
…
Really?
I would have figured the human to be furious with the offenders… to show empathy for them when they were assaulting a human institution. I found that baffling… Humanity clearly had empathy, and Marcel clearly showed that they had the most with how he seemed to care for transgressors.
“Oh… From what we can tell. They should make full recoveries… No one seemed to have suffered lethal damages…”
“I’ll leave you to it then…”
The human then proceeds to walk back to the entrance of the building… I didn’t know what that was all about. How Marcel seems to show so much concern for people like this…
…
I really hope he’s not the only human that’s like that…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(LORE DUMP!)
:: Exterminators a more controversial topic now more than ever... With humanity calling them enforcers of the federation's will, many have begun to think upon their words with actually curiosity... quite a few has begun to dive into research, and without exterminators around to silence them, it's only a matter of time before things about exterminators begin to become revealed... ::
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It is nice there is a place to share and vent my story. Four years ago I got into a huge fight with my mom and started seeing a therapist, who made me realize my mom has a high conflict personality, and is likely an undiagnosed narcissist (probably with other personality disorder traits as well).
N mom used me as a therapist for years after my older sister went to college and then subsequently moved thousand of miles away. She complained bitterly about how she raised us with such poor morals that we would abandon her and how we had poor character and values. She constantly blamed my sister and drove a wedge between us. After seeing my own therapist I realized my sister was unconsciously grey rocking my mom and creating the space she needed to live her life (and likely throwing herself so deeply into her work to give her a legitimate excuse to avoid all unnecessary contact with our N mom).
My father has chronic lung issues and is a practicing therapist. He also is her lifelong enabler. She always used his bad health to guilt me and manipulate me. She constantly told me in the years after my sister moved away about how my dad could die at anytime because of his chronic conditions. My dad always told me that I was the best in the family at handling my mom's difficult personality and that he's seen her change the most around me. After seeing my therapist, I realized just how much my mom was using my love for my dad against me and just how much my dad was trapped in a role as an enabler. I am now resentful of the suggestion that I am the best person to help my mom improve. It isn't my job and he should have protected me from her instead of asking me to help fix her. Even now he want me to go to counseling with her because he thinks I will help her I prove. I am to resentful after the last decade to even consider this option.
Four years ago, my therapist told me to let go of my feelings of obligation and guilt towards my mother, and because I still feel attached to my dad, to try to draw distinct boundaries of the activities and behaviors I will allow from my mom. She said doing this will also help me parent my own young child by showing him how to both be compassionate but also defend his boundaries. She said let go of the guilt and see what is left and what is manageable.
Now, after being caught in a cycle of abuse for the last several years, where she disregards the boundary I set, she insults me by calling me disloyal, immoral, irresponsible, unappreciative, uncompassionate, lazy, inhumane, inappropriate and grotesque (all of these examples are from the last four months), and I follow up by stopping contact for a couple of weeks, and then she acts like nothing is wrong and she's the most interesting fun person in the world, I am so emotionally drained that I can no longer tolerate being berated like this, despite my continued positive feelings toward my father.
I am now working on drafting a truly honest and non-imflammitory NC letter to send to my parents. I already feel so much more free. I am leaving the option for contact open for my dad if he decides to try and manage that difficult balance. My sister is so caught up in work but has also had such bad experiences with n mom that I don't imagine our relationship will change much. And my husband and I will finally be released from this constant anxiety and criticism.
I feel really sad for my parents. Their hard life circumstances led them to be like this, but my family should not have to be the victims of their rough childhoods.
I want to show my child that he can try to practice patience and understanding but he never has to tolerate repeated miserable treatment by anyone, not even his mother or father (and of course, the last thing I ever want to do is act like a narcissist to him).
I feel really sad for my dad because the woman he loves gatekeeps him so hard that I have only interacted privately with him once in the last 4 years, and the previous time I called him on the phone she listened at the door and then called me to complain about everything I said to him. His choice of life partner "raised" his kids and the drove them away. Her personality is so toxic that they maybe have one couple friend, and the wife of that couple seems to also have problems with my N mom. They are going to have to grow old relatively alone and I am sad for them for that, but again it is not my job to be a victim just so they don't have to be lonely.
I hope that when I finish and send my NC letter I can regain more peace in my life and recover my emotional stamina gracefully.

I'm dealing with some anxiety that is affecting me at work. I have heard that "microdoses" of THC in gummies can help with that, without making you high. For reference, I have only smoked weed once in my life and absolutely hated it - the very smell of weed makes me gag so I'm sensitive to tasting it in a gummy. I have tried CBD and it hasn't helped.
Would love any suggestions for dispensaries in SW/Tigard area that carry what I'm looking for, any specific product recommendations would be sweet too. Thanks!

There were so many serious mess-ups in the preliminary judging that I couldn't for the life of me understand what the hell the judges were smoking this season, the few that stood out were:
- Not choosing Yonn in Martinique. What the hell? It's almost absurd to assert but I feel like Shay was intimidated by someone from the Caribbean putting pressure on Belgium artists to be something other than quasi-European. She passed up Yonn for Flash who just seemed like any odd dude you could find rapping on the street throughout all of the Caribbean and Latin America, except not as talented.
- There was a female artist that performed for Niska. Even though she was clearly as good if not better than one of the 2 males that preceded her, he for some reason took both of the dudes who were actually from the same neighborhood and had a similar style despite one of them being way better than the other (the fat guy was better). What in the hell was that? I didn't get it all, that girl could split better than the 2nd dude and provided something different. The value proposition was clear.
- They got rid of the Congolese kid way too quickly in favour of truly bland and forgettable contestants.
- They put a dynamic duo against the schizophrenic guy in the battle and chose to eliminate the schizo guy even though they didn't want to and effectively eliminate someone who was seemingly capable of performing and writing better songs than the duo except in the particular aspect of the battles. I get the battles were important but what the frig? You should never seek to eliminate someone in favour of someone else who is clearly not in your running for winning the show.
- In general the artists just didn't seem to be high quality on this season. I'm very happy Yuz Boy won in the end but come on, he was practically the only artist capable of doing something other than generic. I am disappointed in you France you're supposed to represent and be different. God knows Marseille is messed up enough to deliver some quality street music but gahd damn that is not at all what we got from la guere or the rest of France.
I don't know who else ya got but the judges need to be relieved of their duty for next season. I watched the Latin American equivalent recently and I didn't disagree with a single one of the decisions. Do better France judges, ya'll are costing the nation. That said, congrats again Yuz Boy who is actually dope.

Long term and detailed partner needed!
Detailed and long term partner wanted! Hi! I’m looking for someone who actually enjoys role playing! Not just skipping over a story to get to the dirty scenes! I like a build up of a good story before anything like that happens. I like someone who is detailed (more then 3 sentences, please don’t message if you don’t reply more then 3!) and response a decent bit!I like to roleplay first person pov.
These are the few plots I’ve been able to come up with
Werewolfxhuman (possessive male character)
Your the alpha of (whatever tribe you want it to be) Having a mate is a big deal, people respect you more especially when you bring an heir into the world. People have been doubting you lately because it makes you seem immature and a party animal. You were for sure that you had no mate, you looked everywhere. Until you saw me. 9/10 mates aren’t human. You are at a club one night and I’m their, you instantly knew I was your mate.
Plot 2
Strangers
I was on the run, I did nothing wrong besides the fact I think I killed my husband. He was a cop back home, a very abusive and drunk one at that. The night I left things got bad, I thought he was gonna kill me. I hit him over the head with a vase knocking him out. I grabbed my emergency bag that I kept hidden and left. I ran and ran until I got to a bus station. I went to a tiny town that I didn’t even know what state it was in. I cut and dyed my hair, changed my name from Hailey to Alexandria (Alex for short) I began working at a dinner. I bought a small old house in the middle of the woods with money I had saved up. I bought everything in cash so I couldn’t be traced. Little did I know my ex husband was fine and on the lookout for me. I met you at the dinner, you were a regular. You flirted with me here and there but it was nothing more. We end up getting close but in reality I’m not who I say I am.
Best friends little sister
I’ve grown up around you my whole life, you are practically another another brother to me. I had just started my freshman year in college and things took a turn for the worse. I was at a party one night and not so good things happened there. When they were done with me, they then dumped me on a random person lawn. My parents made me come home and take the rest of the year off. Since that night I haven’t spoke, I became mute. You and my brother are in school together a state away. You both are coming home from the summer, I haven’t seen you since my senior year. My brother came home for a week when everything happened. My parents are hoping with you both around I’ll finally come out of my shell a little since the assault.
Enemies to lovers
Your a single millionaire entrepreneur who's been offered the marriage of the daughter of a famous seasoned businessman, who is looking to revive his dying business and exploiting his daughter to do so in a forced arranged marriage upon here, but I’m a rebellious soul, not the one to submit easily or to submit at all, little did I know,I met the match I’ve always saught after in my mind. one who is open minded for a adventurious life and to break the taboos, one who's willing to show who he really is and lower his guards to the one they truly trust and cherish.
Ex lovers
We were together for 6 years, High school sweethearts to be exact. We went to the same college together after we graduated, you got in on a full ride scholarship for Baseball and I got in on a full ride for academics. Our sophomore year of college you ended up getting scouted for a big league at a big school. You never told me this cause you knew it would’ve broke my heart. Instead you just left one day, I walked into your dorm and everything was gone except for a letter with my name on telling me everything. You changed your number and in the letter told me not to follow you. You knew I’d give up everything to go with you and you didn’t want me to leave school. Except what you didn’t know is, I was coming to tell you I was pregnant. Our home town is small, im talking 500 is our population small. I left school and came home, I was the talk of the town. Your parents told me I had gotten knocked up and quit school. I came to one of your games to try and tell you before the secret had spread to you but you had security to ask me to leave. So ever since I stopped trying, your parents thought I got knocked up by some random guy and that’s exactly what they told you. I did everything alone and we did alright. I now have a 6 year old little boy, own a home, and a coffee shop. Everything was good till you decided to come home.
Farmers daughter
You didn’t have the best home life growing up. When you were about 12 my dad caught you trying to steal stuff from his barn. Instead of calling the cops, he offered you a job. Not only did he offer you a job but he offered you a home. Only rule, you couldn’t touch me. You and my older brother became best friends. Even though we are only 2 years apart you treated me like a child. Well I’m my eyes anyways. In reality you were always just protecting me growing up. After you and my brother graduated high school, the both of y’all took off to the army. The night before you left we slept together, confessed our love to each other, and then you disappeared for 5 years. I graduated and went off to college. I heard from my brother, I just didn’t hear from you. I didn’t know why but you were my first everything that night. I eventually moved on but that just ended me up in a abusive relationship. My parents absolutely adored my boyfriend who’s family owned one of the biggest ranch’s around. They couldn’t see his dark side cause they were blinded by the good….Finally, you and my brother were coming home. Which meant a huge welcome home party for the both of you. That meant we’d see each other for the first time in years since that night.
Please comment or message me if interested in any of these! Or we can come up with our own plot!

This may be a bit ranty (also I'm on mobile) but I'm really done.
I've been in my place since December last year. 6 months, I pay my rent on time and I am far from a problem tenant. First time in my life I have ever dealt with roaches in my apartment. I have reported it to my landlord. My apartment is clean and clear of food waste. They have done nothing, well they did something, lied and said they tried to contact me when no one ever did. I rent through Live Furnished, if you look them up online they're mostly super high end executive rentals, then there's my building. Doors break on a regular basis, unhoused people sleep in our stair ways and often are the ones who break the doors. There's cracks forming in my ceiling that were not there when I moved in, I have zero access to the laundry room and have been repeatedly ignored when requesting a key. The roaches and nothings been done about them. Broken smoke detector (which I KNOW is something they're required to fix - it's wired in, not battery, already tried to fix it myself). I'm aware I need to go to the landlord tenant board. Is there ANY other general advice anyone can give me on this? I have my son living with me, it's absolutely gross that I'm expected to put up with and deal with the roaches myself.

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Without that horrendous bat flapping around and causing a mess for me, I'm now able to focus all of my efforts on bringing down the blinded bear colossus. It is unfortunate that I lost too many owls in the aerial battle, and that Alexa is too exhausted to help out herself, as that means I won't have any reinforcements available from them coming to Jackie’s aid any time soon. That being said, I know just the fish who might be able to make an early return in their stead.
Since they’ve been resting since the start of the battle, Selene and Hecate have been able to recuperate a bit of their mana pools already. Considering that I’m near 100% confident that it doesn’t matter how much the big bear regenerates if it can’t breathe, plus the fact that it doesn’t take too much mana just to hold some water in place, there’s not much reason to keep them benched much longer. Somehow though, I doubt it’s going to be quite that easy to take the bear colossus down. So why don’t we improve the chances of success a bit with all of this free manna I find myself currently swimming in?
Thanks to the sheer quantity of invaders Deepholm is swarming me in, I’ve got more mana to make use of than ever before, and I’d be a fool not to put it to good use. The steep requirement of having to pay 4 times the mana as any of my other scions to upgrade them is hardly an issue at this moment, so I begin the process of pouring my power into my fish. All the while, I keep an eye trained on the battle at hand, waiting for whatever it is the bear will try next. Deepholm scions don’t just meekly turn over and accept their defeat after all.
While I’m only halfway through providing upgrades to my fish scions, my caution is proven entirely warranted as the bear scion bellows its frustration and rage at the top of its lungs. Unable to proceed along a straight path due to Jackie’s constant interference, the colossus hunkers down for a moment in my lake and covers its head with its paws. Then, as soon as its eyes have had a chance to regenerate once more, it peeks out and gets a lock on my location before Jackie inevitably puts more arrows through the freshly grown eyes. This time it hardly pays the attack any mind, reaching down to its flank with those huge claws and ripping free a sizable chunk of its own flesh. With a great heave, the bear scion sent the chunk sailing through the air where it crashed with a meaty splat against the trunk of my tree.
First of all, …gross. Secondly, that bear has surprisingly good aim to be able to nail the part of my tree trunk that is perfectly in line with where my core is. Lastly, heh-heh, I’m in danger. Unable to use its sight, and no longer able to rely on the bat scion for its sonic guidance, the bear has resorted to using smell to guide its way. And what better trail to follow with one’s strong sense of smell than the stench of one’s own blood and viscera? Without a moment of hesitation, the bear scion is back on its feet, and charging forward once more.
This time, there’s truly nothing we can do to stop its advance, the bear’s nose is too big to fully destroy the bear’s sense of smell, even with Jackie’s arrows desperately blasting pieces off of it. With a tremor that I can feel throughout the entire island, the bear scion slams headfirst into the high cliffs, which only serves to daze the beast for but a moment before it starts awkwardly clambering upwards. I curse vehemently, at this rate the colossus will reach my tree before I’m done with upgrading the twins. I can cut it short and make the current upgrade the last one, but it will still take a minute or so for the twins to become accustomed to their strengthened bodies.
It doesn’t take long for the bear’s claws to scramble against the top of the cliffs, digging in for extra purchase, shortly followed thereafter by the beast’s snarling and arrow-riddled cranium. The twins have only just finished absorbing the mana from the latest upgrade, they’re not going to make it in time. It is at that moment that my saviors made their gallant entry into the fray. Cutting a swathe through the remaining army of normal invaders charged not any of my scions, but the brave surviving members of my defensive forces. Having abandoned their defensive chokepoint in the entrance cave, a combined throng of brawler bunnies and leopards led the way as my froglings and flechette-pines provided cover fire. Beside me, I can feel the consternation roll off of Giorno as he tries to keep some semblance of organization in place amidst an attack that he had most certainly not ordered.
Though our tactics have done a great deal in leveling the playing field in the battle between denizens, there are still a lot of enemies left to deal with, and this attack will only open us up to many more unnecessary casualties. Underneath his annoyed countenance however, I do detect a hint of pride in their reckless attempts to buy me more time. An attempt that certainly pays its dividends.
With a series of tremendous leaps, the brawler bunnies and leopard forces bound up to the limbs of the bear scion and begin hacking away at it with sharp claws and stone swords. They scale up the beast, slashing at every joint and every digit along the way. The colossus roars in pain and slips from the cliffside as the tendons in each limb are systematically severed time and time again. But this moment of victory comes at far too steep a cost.
When the bear scion crashes back into the lake, its sheer mass flattens dozens of my brave denizens at a time. From there it thrashes about, crushing some more of my stalwart defenders and sending others flying through the air. Not wasting the opportunity, my denizens lead the enemy scion over to the remnants of the invader army, where both sides become equally devastated by the beast’s angry flailing. I try to call my denizens back, telling them to retreat, that they’d done enough already. When that failed, I resorted to using some of my mana to make it a direct order. Retreat already! The twins are on the way, swimming around the south side of the island as we speak. There’s no need for any more of you to die!
I can feel the mana drain away as the orders take hold, but then I got a unanimous response back through Alexa’s network. Every single one of them started the retreat and then volunteered themselves to be a rearguard to help cover the escape. Even though technically they were following through with my order, not a single denizen so much as turned around or took a single step backward. They were loopholing me! Those damnable, brave, fools were refusing to leave until my scions could arrive. Who the heck taught you bastards to test the limits of the rules and look for ways to bend them in your favor anyhow!?
It took less than a minute for my twins to arrive. But it took even less time for the bear colossus to finish with its rampage. Now the only living combatants faced each other over a lake stained to the same red as the bear scion’s eyes. As a healer, Selene has seen more than her fair share of nasty injuries, as well as plenty of corpses from my previous encounters with Deepholm’s invaders. But even still, all that experience could not have prepared her for the sight of the slaughter before her. All the violent thrashing had thoroughly frothed the water of the lake, but rather than help hide the bodies below with the white foam it only served to accentuate them by clinging to whatever pieces remained above water.
It left my poor fish heartbroken. Disgust and despair raged inside her alongside a powerful wave of guilt at not recovering fast enough to be able to come to their aid in time. I know, sweetie, I know. But those denizens out there? They bought us enough time to stop any more atrocities from happening. They bet everything on you two and Jackie, and now it’s time to make sure we don’t waste a single death. All that anguish and sorrow you’re feeling? I need you to use it. Use it to hone a blade in your heart to turn against those who spread such senseless violence. It’s time to take up the second half of the saint’s job and smite down that walking calamity of a bear. And you’re not alone, Hecate is right beside you along with Jackie, and together, I know you all can do this.
Pep talk done, Hecate gives her sister a loving nuzzle under her chin before turning her hate-filled eyes to the bear scion as well. She isn’t taking kindly to all the desolation wrought by the colossus either, and is especially pissed by how upset it is making her kind-hearted twin. The white crescent moon mark on her forehead glows faintly in response to her roiling emotions, while after a few deep breaths, Selene’s black crescent moon mark does the same, her eyes now steeled in vindictive determination.
As one, they lifted a massive ball of water into the air and slammed it into the bear scion’s face, completely covering it in a matter of seconds. Meanwhile, I begin the process of funneling mana into Jackie for her own upgrades. The beast hasn’t shown any magical capacity besides its regeneration, but who knows? Maybe it has something up its sleeve that would save it from the same fate as its companion. Better safe than sorry in this case, no?
Evidently, I was correct to prepare for the backup plan, because rather than struggle against the water bubble encasing its face, the bear colossus calmly slurped the water down. The vast amounts of suction overwhelmed the amount of mana the twins could use to keep the water in place, and so it simply disappeared down the beast’s gullet with a taunting smile that seemed to say, “Thanks for the refreshing drink, I was feeling rather parched”. Not a smidge of magic was used, or needed, to easily trounce my hopes of drowning our problems away. What stood before us surely could not be described as anything but the epitome of relentless brute force, a fact which has now been hammered home rather insultingly by the defeat of my plans through lung power of all things.
With a challenging roar, the bear plowed forward while ignoring the twin’s follow up attacks. Right, plan B it is then. If we can’t suffocate him, then we’ll just have to overwhelm his regeneration with more damage than it can keep up with! In but a moment the bear scion has slammed into my cliffside and begins scaling it once more. This time, Selene and Hecate are there to stop it from making any meaningful progress, their watery slashes biting deep into flesh and disabling limbs long enough for the next attack to land. Where Hecate’s attacks strike necrosis quickly follows, seeping into the flesh until the entire mass falls off to be replaced by newly regenerated meat. Meanwhile, Selen’s strikes shine with the radiant power of her light mana, her slices digging deep through muscles, tendons, and all the way to the bones beneath.
Together they manage to keep the colossus pinned in place to the craggy wall of my island, allowing Jackie all the time she needs to hop around and unleash a torrent of her aether arrows. Rather than strike into the beast herself however, I have her shoot the cliffs themselves where she then sprouts much more massive vines than usual to grasp at the enemy scion and bind it in place. I know that the twins will run out of mana long before I can bleed this invader dry in a battle of attrition, so instead my goal here is to line Jackie up for one big shot to put an end to this colossus once and for all.
Bounding up to the top of the cliff, right over the massive head of the bear, Jackie grows the limbs of her bow out further than even its longbow form, one side planting itself firmly into the stone. With a mighty heave, she stands upon the bow’s limbs and pushes down with all the strength in her legs while hoisting up on the drawstring with her arms. A ballista-sized arrow grows into place, aimed straight down to the skull of the beast below. Through this, Jackie channels the full force of her wind aether. With my hand on her back, I speak softly to into her mind through the bond we share.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Let’s do this Jackie, together!”
Through my hand I channel even more mana into Jackie than before, really packing it into her as fast as the upgrades can handle. 2 more, then 5, then 10. The power swirls around her like a maelstrom that would have left anybody else gritting their teeth to ride out the storm. But not my Jackie. As much as I pushed the mana into her, she matched me by pulling it into her control right away, weaving it into her aether flawlessly. Around the arrow tip the air began to swirl, faster and faster, like a drill turned up to turbo speeds.
This obviously did not go unnoticed by the bear scion, but it was too late for the behemoth to avoid its fate. Bound up tightly in Jackie’s vines while Selen and Hecate kept its prodigious strength locked away through their continuous onslaught. Their mana has already depleted dangerously low once again, but their combined efforts have bought us all the opportunity we need. All the enemy can do is flounder uselessly in its restraints, glaring balefully at Jackie and its impending doom.
With a boom the arrow disappears from Jackie’s bow, boring a path straight through the entire length of the bear scion and continuing deep into the ground beneath it. Jackei’s wind arrow had accelerated freely without any resistance, twisting the air in front of it out of the way and turning the space in front into a devastating drill. Meanwhile, just behind the shaft, the collapse of the resulting vacuum pushed the arrow along even faster than any projectile has ever flown before in this world.
The twisting motion of the air and the shockwaves from the collapsing vacuum bubble didn’t just serve to speed up the arrow however. Like a delayed reaction after the arrow had already sped through, I watched as a spray of blood exploded from the bear’s body, accompanied by the splash of water beneath its feet. I watched as the beast’s jaw was ripped away to hang loosely by a strip of flesh on the right side of its head. From there the arrow had traveled down into the beast’s shoulder and blazed a path all the way through its chest cavity, the aftershocks ripping the bear’s body apart and leaving its left side barely attached anymore. It looked as if some giant had cleaved its axe down the bear’s side, all the way from the shoulders to the hips.
The scion had managed to avoid an instantly fatal blow by twisting its head as far to the side as possible, but that proved to only postpone the inevitable at this point. With that much damage to the internal organs, it couldn’t hope to recover in time. We’d done it, we’d won!
Joyfully, I turned to Giorno, ready to send some mana down to Kelvin next, but what I saw froze me in my tracks. This whole battle, Giorno had been his usual calm and composed self, issuing orders and cooly commanding our forces. But now, he was trembling with a visual amount of fear, his skin blanched of all color. Thoroughly spooked, I racked my brain for anything I might have missed, but I got my answer sooner than expected.
“Kill it, kill it now! We don’t have any time, finish it before it's too late! It’s going to do something to the bear!”
Dutifully, Jackie and the twins ready their next attacks to hasten the bear scion’s demise, but something Giorno said stuck out to me. Wait, the bear is the subject of his sentence, not the object for some reason. But…, that would have to mean…
With wide eyes, I come to a dreadful realization, I never got a mana notification for the bat scion. No, no! No WAY that bastard survived, right? Feeling the sneaking march of dread closing in on my throat, I check the spot where the bat scion had crashed into my island. There it lay, wings in tatters and its chest caved in from impacting the ground, lying in a pool of its own blood. By all accounts, it appears to be dead. But that’s when I notice something off. The pool of blood is moving.
Right before my eyes, I watch as little bubbles capture air inside, and then get mixed in the blood as it slowly circulates out of the lethal wounds and then back into the bat’s body. It must have kept conscious through the crash and is now using its blood magic to just barely keep itself alive. Would that be all the bat was up to, I would have breathed a sigh of relief. But no, all around the crash were scattered splotches of fresh blood, drawn out into a foreboding set of interlocking symbols when viewed from above. The bat was casting something, using its own life as fuel. With a weak wheeze in place of a laugh, the bat scion spoke for one final time.
“Glory be to the Mountainlord. Blood Arts: Sacrifice.”
Accompanied by the ding of a new notification, I watched in horror as all the blood was forcibly wrested from the bat scion’s fresh corpse, instantly mummifying it into a dried-out husk. Then that mass of brackish liquid moved faster than it had any right to, thin tendrils shooting out from the main body quickly dragging the blob to the edge of the island. Before any of my scions could react, it had already latched onto the dying bear’s head and begun pouring itself forcibly through every orifice it could reach.
Writhing in agony at the black-red liquid shoving itself down its throat, nostrils, and eye sockets, my scions lashed into the bear’s body with as much strength as they could, but to no avail. The wounds would begin closing before their attacks could even finish, and from the bear’s torso sprouted several bloody tentacles which wrapped themselves around the dangling left side, pulling it back into place with a wet squelch. The newfound regeneration didn’t, perhaps couldn’t, stop there however. All over the colossus’s body something churned beneath its hide.
Every single muscle in the behemoth’s body squirmed as it doubled, then tripled in size, in some places rupturing the skin as it struggles to contain the roiling mass of flesh. Muscle fibers sprung from the fur like weeds sprouting out of fertile ground, twitching and flailing about looking for something to connect to, until the beast’s entire form was nothing but a bulging mass of undulating flesh vaguely shaped like a bear. From the monstrosities head, the repaired jaw split open far wider than anything still attached to the skull to allow, revealing row after row of sharp fangs growing into place all the way down its throat.
With an unearthly screech, the monstrosity easily tore itself free of the vines and took a swipe at Jackie with its misshapen foreleg. Nobody must have told Deepholm that inflating your musculature so much is a direct reduction in flexibility however, because the blow was slow and cumbersome, allowing Jackie to easily vault backwards out of reach. But Deepholm didn’t need to care about such silly things like flexibility, or the limits of a physical body, as halfway through the swing a series of cracks could be heard as the bear monstrosity’s muscles broke every single bone in its arm, causing it to suddenly stretch out on just the muscles and ligaments, increasing in speed as the limb turned into an impromptu flesh whip tipped with giant claws.
Caught completely by surprise, Jackie could only try to form a hasty shield of roots with her life aether, but the abomination’s claws sundered it with ease, cleaving through her bow, then her arm, and finally raking across her torso. My girl hit the ground, hard, and didn’t get back up. Meanwhile, the twins were still desperately flinging any kind of attack they could think at the bear horror, all to no avail. This affront to nature had such strong regeneration now that nothing in their repertoire could hope to leave any lasting damage.
With thundering steps, the abomination practically oozed up onto my island, all four legs standing firmly upon my territory for the first time. A few steps brought it close enough to brush up against my trunk, and then it sunk its claws deep into the bark and tore a ginormous chunk of wood free. As easily as tearing apart cardboard, Deepholm’s monstrosity began to dig its way deeper and deeper towards my sanctum, and inevitable destruction. From beside my core, a loud snap rang out as the inspector’s white-knuckle grip finally crushed the handle of her kanabo.
“Damn it all, I can’t just sit here at let this happen! I have to–”
Whatever she was about to say was cut off as she took her first step forward, weapon raised with the intent to join the fray. Instantly she was beset by floating swords made of light on all sides, not even given enough time to swear before they all plunged into her body. With a gasp Lydia fell to the floor, covered in wounds. She’d managed to use her ki to shift the trajectory of enough blades away from her vital organs, but she was still grievously wounded and wouldn’t be doing any fighting any time soon.
In what felt like no time at all, the fleshy abomination had reached the final bit of wood separating me from the outside world. With a psychic scream of determination, Leonardo charged forth, combining his life and kinetic affinities to try and brace that final barrier, but his efforts were carelessly brushed aside as the bear’s claws crashed through anyways, collapsing a pile of splinted timber down upon my peaceful crafter. From above and behind, Alexa had joined the twins in trying to drag the enemy scion back, but with barely a sliver of mana left between the three of them, they were little more than flies buzzing uselessly through the air to it.
Fully exposed to the outside world for the first time since my birth into this world, I was now face to face with the monstrosity as it raised its claws for one final strike. But oddly, all the fear and terror that had frozen me still before was utterly absent. I couldn’t even focus on the looming mountain of death in front of me, nor on the panicked shrieks of my scions as they struggled to the last. Rather, my gaze fell upon the prone form of the very first scion I had designated. My strongest defender, and the most earnest girl you would ever meet. With my focus beside her, I could tell that my brave girl was just barely hanging onto life, but she wouldn’t last long at this rate. Every shaky breath was accompanied by a wave of anguish washing over the bond.
Even without a proper physical form, I knelt beside her and gathered her up into one final embrace. I’m so sorry Jackie. The UI might call you guys scions, but truthfully you have all been a family to me, right from the start. I never had one, back in my previous life, so I know I must have messed up so many times, in so many ways. But even still, I had a blast getting to know each and every one of you, wishing for each day to stretch into infinity so I could enjoy our time together forevermore. But I’ve failed you, I’ve failed you all. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a life full of happier days, and I hope whatever comes in the next life, you can forgive me.
“You’ve been the best daughter I could have ever asked for. I love you.”
Jackie PoV
Everything hurts. My ears won’t stop ringing, and everything around me is moving in super slow motion. Through blurry eyes, I can see my arm lying just out of reach, still clutching my bow tightly, well, half of it anyways. Further away, I can see the blurry shape of the gross thing from Deepholm tearing its way through Mama’s tree. The twins and Alexa were swooping around behind it, but there was no stopping the beast anymore. Pain throbbed through my chest, my heart heavy as it slowly pumped my blood out onto the ground.
I’d failed, again. Right when it mattered most. Some huntress I’d turned out to be. Sure I was able to handle the regular invaders, but against every enemy that ever posed a serious threat, I’d been beaten every time. When I first lost to Miss Lydia, it hadn’t been so bad. Mama told me to learn from it and grow stronger for next time. I’d been useless too against those water birds on the first day. So I trained, and then I trained and I trained and I trained some more. Till the calluses on my paws were bleeding, I practiced every day.
For some reason Mama didn’t like that though, so she forced me to take breaks pretty regularly after that. At first, it felt like she didn’t have faith that my efforts would help with anything, but that feeling faded pretty quickly. She’d always have a bowl of those red fruits she calls strawberries ready for me by her core. Then when I would get settled in beside her and begin munching on the sweet fruit, she would tell me unbelievable stories about the world she remembers from her past life.
Apparently, her old world had jackalopes too, or at least stories of them. Mama says they supposedly had lightning in their veins they could move so fast. Lightning! The big flashes in the sky that make the air go boom. That stuff! The jackalopes from Mama’s world must be really amazing if they could do that. Nervously, I asked her a bit more about it, feeling rather inadequate by comparison, but she ended up talking too much about how technically lightning is in every living creature, but just really really small amounts of it? And something even more confusing about something called eel-ektons that makes it charge based on if they’re in a good mood or not?
Mama does that a lot, going off on tangents about difficult subjects for a long period of time, but even though I couldn’t understand most of it, it is nice just to sit back and listen to her speak. Eventually, she would always notice her rambling, and swap to asking me questions instead. I felt really proud when she asked me so much about my experience training with ki, and later on aether as well. She’d always thank me for my hard work, and for helping her figure out how things work in this world. It made me happy to think that Mama needed me, and that all my efforts were slowly paying off.
And it really felt like I had been improving too! I’d wrangled all the rowdy brawlers into line, and chased off that group of novices. But then that big flying scion came and knocked me out of the fight before I could even tell it was coming. Kelvin was barely a few days old and he had to handle that nasty bat all on his own! And despite all the work I put into developing my aether, I then lost to Miss Lydia again right after that. It felt like I was stuck in place, running as hard as I could but never getting anywhere with it. I did my best to hide it from Mama since she’s so perceptive, but it really hurt.
And now, even after all the faith and strength Mama poured into me, I’d still managed to let her and everybody else down. They’re all going to die, because of me. I’m not sure which is worse at this point, the pain from my injuries or the pain from my failures washing over me. I watched through bleary eyes as the gross bear tore open the deepest part of the tree, and revealed Mama’s core for all the world to see. It’d been a few weeks since our last break together, so when I saw the soft green glow of Mama’s core, it stirred up a weird mix of relief and regret in my heart. I’d missed that comforting glow, but also the only reason I could see it now is because I’d doomed it to oblivion.
Grief filled me up to the brim, and all I could do is wordlessly apologize over and over again.
To my surprise, however, I could feel her presence nearby, and that comforting warmth brushed aside my apologies to fill our bond with light instead. I don’t get it, why is she here? Why is she focusing on me, when the enemy is literally right in front of her core, staring her down? Why is she wasting her time on me when I can barely even move anymore?! And even if I could, we both know I would just let her down some more. So why, why does it feel like I’m back by her side, listening to her tell stories at length, feeling so comfy and secure?
“I……ry….J..ki”
Go on, go! Leave already and focus on someone else, maybe they have a chance to save you, to fix things. Haven’t I failed you enough? I, I can’t do anything but disappoint you. I…I can’t be like the jackalopes from your stories Mama. I’m not good enough for that. I’m sorry.
“..b..en….f…….to me……..t…….ro……sta…”
Despite shoving my weakness, my numerous defeats and doubts to the front and finally showing Mama everything I’d tried to keep hidden from her through the bond, absolutely nothing changed. If anything, the feeling of closeness only increased and that warm feeling wrapped me up even tighter, never wavering for a moment. For a moment, the ringing in my head subsided, but my eyes must still be playing tricks because I thought I could see a bunch of golden sparkles floating in the air around me, forming the vague outline of a person with her arms wrapped around me. The next words came through confidently and clearly, and finally put a name to the feeling I always felt when Mama’s attention was on me.
“I love you.”
…Why? When I’ve already let you down so many times, when you’re about to die because of me…why spend your last moments on this worthless rabbit who couldn’t save anything? The bond held no answers for me, only that same persistent warmth, refusing to relent for so much as a moment. Over in the tree, the bear monster had raised its claw into the air, readying the final strike that would take Mama away for good. A few tears slipped free from my eyes and dropped down to join the blood at my feet. Belatedly, I realized that at some point I must have stood up, but that doesn’t really matter right now.
In fact, standing there, basking in the feeling of being wrapped up in Mama’s love, it felt like a lot of things didn’t matter. My doubts, my fear of not being good enough, and the pain of being proven right. It all felt like wisps of smoke being carried away on the wind. They scattered against the constant reinforcement pouring out from the bond, powerless before it. She’d seen all of my shortcomings, witnessed every downfall, and yet this was always her response. Yellow sparks crackled through my fur, and larger arcs of energy began to flicker back and forth between the branches of the antlers on my head.
Slowly, all the world began to fall away. The ground beneath my feet, the stench of death hanging upon the wind, even the tree itself, along with the slow-motion bear scion bringing its claws down for the kill. There was just me, and there in the distance, the light of Mama’s core, calling me home like a beacon. Under her light, I remembered the simple truth that Mama has always seen and understood so much more than me, guiding me as best she could and celebrating both my success and failures alongside me. For this moment in time, all those complicated and difficult subjects stopped being important. All those times spent hoping I could measure up to the lofty heights she spoke about seemed a silly waste of time. All I had to do was stop trying to become something else. Maybe, just maybe, I was already everything that Mama could see in me, and I just hadn’t realized it yet.
I crouch down low to the ground, those strange sparks increasing in intensity, coiling inside of me like a power I never knew I had. My ears and paws were starting to char black from all the energy flowing through me, but I didn’t feel a thing. After all, none of that mattered. With a mighty leap, I left the feeling of solid earth behind. Wait for me just a little longer, ok Mama? I’m coming to your side.
Blood flash-boiled.
Flesh charred into shattered lumps of charcoal.
Bones fragmented and caved under the tremendous forces at play.
Jackie never got to experience the joy where in this, her latest challenge to a race between herself and the sound carried along through the air, the wind finally lost.
Neither did she get to see how, for the first time in its life, the bear scion’s body was lifted fully up off of the ground and flung to the side like gravity had suddenly reversed its direction.
But perhaps..., someday, there would come a time when she’s relaxing with a bowl of those delectable strawberries once more, and she’ll get to listen to Mama’s voice as she regales her with another one of her wild stories. A story where one little rabbit made all the difference in the world, and through her actions did save the day. Now wouldn’t that be nice?
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Author Notes://
Here it is, the big one! I've had this chapter in mind since before I even started writing this story. In fact, it's what made me say fuck it, I'm gonna try writing it out and see what happens. Sorry again for the long delay on this chapter, I didn't want to split it into anything smaller, so it ended up pretty long. Also, yay! First scion PoV, just like you guys wanted right? xD
I hope you enjoyed reading this part, and I'll see you all again next time for the final conclusion to the Deepholm Arc.

Tl;dr: my BIL stole dozens of video games from my collection so he could buy his own. When I found out he had stolen once, we kicked him out of the house & had an intervention where we told him he needs therapy. I filed a police report in order to try to get my pawned things back but didn't press charges. The next day I found out he has been stealing for weeks so I pressed charges. The family is divided & anger is directed at me.
My brother-in-law (18) moved in with me & my wife 2 months ago because he had trouble at home that resulted in him being homeless. We put together a room for him in our house. I have a large collection of games. Some are sentimental.
He is a legal adult with a job, but he's still in high school (now summer school). Our agreement was he didn't need to pay rent until after graduation. All utilities & groceries were covered by me.
Early on he had issues. Traffic violations that I paid for. My wife added him to a credit card to help him build credit & he abused that and couldn't pay so we cancelled it.
While we were out of town on a family vacation we left BIL home & asked him to watch our pets. While we were gone he skipped school every day, failed to graduate, neglected our pets, & made a mess. He didn't pay his bills, lost his car insurance, & phone.
We confronted him about his behavior and I felt it went through to him. But my wife discovered a receipt from a pawn shop that had 30 of my games on it. I checked & they were all missing. I called the shop & they required I make a police report in order to get back what they had. I spoke with my wife & in-laws about what we should do about BIL. During this, his father said "I think jail would teach him a lesson". We confronted BIL & he confessed to stealing the games so he could buy his own. He agreed to move out (back in with his parents who had kicked him out before) & to therapy. I made a police report & I said I would not press charges.
The following day I discovered 20 more missing games & I called the shop to see if he had pawned them. They confirmed that he had on at least two other occasions. These items would need to added to the police report. I called his mom and told her that he had been stealing for weeks. She said maybe he should be charged then.
I called the pawn shop back for a full list of what he traded & he mentioned several records that my wife owns & I lost it. I called the police & pressed charges. I stopped short of declaring that he had stolen over $1K worth of stuff - a felony. Instead he's facing a misdemeanor.
My in-laws blame me for ruining BIL's life, that I am unfair to him since they think he is mentally ill, that he won't be able to stick to therapy because of it. I feel I have been made a victim twice & I still am finding things missing. AITA?

As I sit here at the end and look back at my life and the errors I have made, many lasagna-related, I realize that there are some things I would like to do differently if I survive. Obviously I’m not going to start making better choices, but it would be nice to have someone to share the inevitable consequences with.
I grew up on a farm, dreamed about the big world outside, etc. It was all very Luke Skywalker. After studying history and archaeology, I ended up returning to my backwater home planet, and I’ve been bouncing around between jobs here ever since. I’ve worked in archaeology, aquaculture, and right now I work in a library.
It’s been five years since I graduated, and it is finally getting through to me that I’m not going to start building my life until I look outside of this place, even though I like living here. I prefer a quiet and slow paced lifestyle, but this is getting a little too slow.
I'm 5'8", 200 lbs., with brown hair, blue eyes, and glasses. I put on 15 lbs. over the pandemic and would like to get things back under control, but the library job is pretty sedentary compared to what I was doing before. I've got work to do on developing healthier living habits.
Things I enjoy:

• Hiking, kayaking, just like, getting out there and taking it all in, man
  
• My pollinator garden
  
• Reading, mostly history and fantasy/historical fiction
  
• Traveling. I went to India last year and want to go to Iceland in the fall
  
• Games every now and then. Minecraft, Stardew Valley, The Long Dark, assorted strategy games
  
• Sappy music. This is one my favorite recent finds.
  
• Sowing
  

Things I do not enjoy:

• Conservatism/bigotry
  
• Smoking of any kind
  
• Loud and crowded places
  
• Reaping
  

Stella, Solar Titan Location: Northeastern tip of the EDZ, Earth G: You know, they always wake up a little more bitter than how they were when they fell. But you, it's never like that. It's never bitterness, not an ounce of shame or regret for falling to a stronger foe or being out manned or out gunned. When they kill you time and time again, pushing forward and being thrown back solar light burning at the tatters of their clothes. Only for a hail of bullets or arc to surge back to you, armor breaking and snaping. Slivers of iron and steel splintering and falling with you after every time you are revived. No, it's never bitterness in your eyes. Never tired and shying from the call. For you Stella, for you its always rage. Burning away any other emotion when needed, shinning bright and hot enough to scorch foes and friends alike, but you know these things already, so once more. Once more stand and fight for those unable. Rise Guardian and take up arms to face all our foes. Muffled voices, hushed tones and panic are never the things you'd wish to wake to. To feel your body screaming at you as you stir, eyes shutting tight and groaning as something presses to your back. Even with the armor upon her shoulder the new weight was unfamiliar, a strained breath leaking from her lips as she rolled to the side. A click ringing out as a dregg readied it's sidearm a low whirring as it spooled up and pointing it to her before the air around the wounded grew warm. A shining amber light flashed, and the stillness of the night was ripped away, the ground where the guardian had been laying was burned. Grass and dirt charred; rubble that was close enough had melted. Concrete cracked as the rebar inside it had been superheated from the solar light and expanded, fracturing the stone around it. As the bright glow faded, hands shielding eyes human and Eliksni alike slowly dropped at they looked to her. Solar light dripping from the pommel of a small hammer clasped in her hand, "You've overstayed your welcome dear friends, while the door had remained open in moments past. You've now expressed your true colors bug." Raising her hammer, channeling her light up through her body and into the hammer. Laughing as it grew brighter and brighter. The shape changing, what was once a small tool now a weapon of war. Grasping it in both of her hands, a faint smile spreading across her face as the amber colored light shone upwards. Eyes burning full of hatred, focusing on the few remaining dreggs and captain. Raising her war-hammer high as a shot rang out. A flash out of the corner of her eye. Snapping her attention to it as the captain stumbled and fell to its knees, the dreggs panicking as she brought her hammer down and sent out a wave of solar light. Stumbling and placing the massive hammer construct on the ground as it flashed out of existence and holding out her hand as a ghost appeared. Softly humming as it flashed a light over her as she caught her breath and reached out for the little light source, "Come here sparks, dim that light, its bright and I need a nap and something to drink" The sound of boots and voices growing closer as she sighed and moved to sit along the newly rescued refugees, laughing as the smoking end of a barrel poked its way into a window frame. "Took you two long enough, the whole point of back up is to well. Back up the other part of the team. You both suck, I hope you know that." The other two guardians shook their heads, laughing softly before a rock was tossed at them. Missing one of their helmets and looking to Stella. "Our job is to patrol and help folks like this out of here and get them on a transport to the city or at least to safer area like near Devrim or closer to the Farm. Out here, especially at night its a death sentence for normal people like them." As she talked she placed a hand along her leg. Leaning forward and kneeling as she pushed herself back up. Holding out a hand and placing it along the wall as her vision blurred. Her ghost dropping to the ground, light snuffed out and springing back to life as their connection faltered for a moment. Her eyes snapping to the other two as they stepped back and held out a hand for their own ghosts only for nothing to happen. Panic set in between the three of them as an emergency broadcast broke through the forced silence. "This is Commander Zavala. Civilians: report to evac zones. Guardians: report to the plaza. Our city will not fall." Stella looked to the other guardians and then back to the refugees. Bending down and helping one of them up she picked up her ghost, faint light blinking as it disappeared from her palm. "You heard him just as I did, we aren't at the last city so our duty changes slightly. Help these people and then we are going to the city for whatever just happened."

(In case you didn’t see my edits to the first post, I decided to split these by type so they’re more digestable. Also, though I happened to do 1 first, I won’t necessarily do them ‘in order’.)

justification

Naranjo explained this explicitly but folded it under part of reaction formation, however I think it’s distinct enough to be discussed on its own – BHE also discussed this in a podcast episode without assigning it a name.
What happens is, the 1 has strong ideas and preferences about how things ‘should’ be and how they want their life to go in a regular, orderly manner – starting from the part of the reptile brain that is to do with regularity & sense of order, and then building on it further with their search for “the best way to do things” and the experience-based judgements of their implicit mind.
Much of the goal behind this is autonomy – Like the child that gets trusted with more decisions because they are so mature & responsible & don’t give others reason to scold them.
But what if someone comes along & tells you to do things differently anyway?
You argue that your way is right, whether that means its more efficient, more rational, more moral, more responsible etc. and so by extension theirs is wrong.
In this, the rational mind may well be employed to great effect (many 1s are doctors, engineers, philosophers etc.) but sort of in the way that philosophy was employed in the middle ages: Any paths of reasoning that could contradict “what is right” (in the case of the medieval philosophers, church doctrine) weren’t going to be pursued.
So if you have an 1 who prefers to get up early, they might espouse beliefs in the advantages of getting up early & how this is the most disciplined & virtuous way to do this, whereas if another 1 is a night owl they will embark on a mission to make workplaces more friedly to people with different circadian rythms, and neither might connect it to their own preference -
Instead they will completely frame it in impersonal terms of competency and/or superego – this way is most efficient, this way is correct, this way is what’s right. Or: That thing is objectively wrong & disgusting and anyone who doesn’t see that is a sick fuck. You’re not nitpicking, you care that it’s done right.
When others get the impression that you’re just trying to boss them & force your way on them, you don’t see where it’s coming from – it’s not about your way, you think, it’s about “what’s right”… so you figure it must be because they’re debauched or something.
Useful Question:
If you strongly feel that something is right: Is it truly the best method, or is it maybe just the way that you personally prefer it?
Note also that realizing you simply prefer it doesn’t mean you have to give up or self-flagellate for being selfish or failing to be impartial.
In some situations you might have an easier time getting your partner to agree to consider your needs & preferences if you say it personally bothers you rather than argue about the objectively correct way to load a dishwasher.
It’s ok to have wants, preferences & be subjective in some areas. Obvsly if you’re doing surgery you should totally follow the protocol as perfectly as possible, but ‘correct’ clothes or hairstyle is much harder to define.
You can prefer something even if it’s not “Objectively The Best”. It just ‘feels’ less ‘defensible’ because as a competency type you have a neutrality bias. And of course once you allow that it becomes natural to let others have different preferences.
Meanwhile, if you strongly feel something is wrong: Why is it wrong? Get that head center online. Now if you’re not used to it, this can be uncomfortable: 1s have a high need for closure and hence dislike ambiguity – they tend to want a clear answer, now. When you’re used to relying on the implicit mind whose output feels very solid, real and obvious, going into the abstractions of the mental center can feel airy & ungrounded – you might be worried that you might come up with an excuse or talk yourself into thinking some terrible thing is actually ok. But your implicit mind can mislead you as much as abstract theory might.
You might find that forbidding a lot of what’s universally agreed to be awful can easily be justified in terms of logical reasons. Look at the 6s – you can use your head center and still be morals-oriented. Be more willing to consider logical counterarguments even for things that trigger repulsion in you – just considering them without per se accepting them. Even if you still disagree, knowing how the other side thinks can help you persuade them.

reaction formation

But what if there is a desire that cannot be justified in this way, perhaps because it clashes with the 1s stated values, principles and beliefs? You can’t easily give up on the principles if those feel integral to who you are, why you do everything you do & why you should get anything at all.
So, the incongruent impulse is transformed into its opposite.
To consider why it has to be like this, it might be illustrative to tell you about a discussion I read on here once of various 8s (whose default tendency is to act on most impulses in an unmodified form) on how to overcome problems with impulsivity. Just trying to hold in the impulse through sheer will often doesn’t work because the next thing will just set them off, there is a quick connection between stimulus & response, thinking their way out of it like a head type might won’t cut it, but what does work a lot better is to point the ‘kinetic energy’ somewhere else, such as by exercising.
The gut types take in the world on a viscerally felt, kinesthetic level (Rohr, a 1 himself, referred to it as ‘full body blows’) & this leads to building up immediate reactions to it. So ‘redirecting’ the impulse, or rather forming an immediate counter-reaction to it, is more natural than just extinguishing it.
The purpose of the reaction is not only to “defend” against acting the ‘unacceptable’ impulse, but to “defend” your conscious self from the distress and incongrence of even recognizing the impulse, that is, to push it out of consciousness. Like saying some prayers to make the “dirty thoughts” go away.
If you read the experiences of 1s (or even 1 fixers) you see that the impulses already arrive in consciousness in this ‘civilized’ form: Not ‘this annoys me’ but ‘this is not good enough!’
The physically felt swell of what might otherwise be irritation comes in as frustration about how the thing was done wrong & how it could all be perfect if only the co-workers bothered to be a little more dilligent.
This is part of why experiencing an actual unmodified impulse can feel so threatening or shameful.
First they would be experienced as unwanted, ego-dystonic, incongruent with the self.
A rabit horndog is not who you are… and certainly not who you want to be.
There is not so much previous experience of thinking ‘I kinda want to do violence to this jerk’, or of having a horny thought… and then not acting on it for a variety of reasons.
So you might fear that if you loosened up you would actually be violent or sexually inappropriate. (which isn’t helped if the only time you cut loose if when you got so much pent up frustration you can’t hold it in anymore, so you overcompensate like a person going on a binge after an overly restrictive diet.)
What this may concretely look like is being extra polite to someone who lowkey irritates you (disowning the “bad”/”unresonable” feeling), or condemning something that you actually find tempting on some level –
Tom Condon described the case of a type 1 friend who liked to collect rocks. One time they came across a cool-looking amethyst geode in a shop window and the friend’s eyes lit up, but then he saw the hefty price tag and at once he started ranting about how ppl these days waste so much money on frivollous impulse buys. (his desire for the rock had conflicted with his value of being thrifty, so a reaction against it was formed.)
Condon then said something like ‘You really want that rock, huh?’
In this case the friend had the self-awareness to admit it, but with some immature 1s (or ppl with strong 1 components), they can get weirdly obsessed with the thing they’re condemning & the lives of people who are doing it. ‘Oh this fetish porn is so horrible!’ ...why do you know so much about it, mate?
(part of it is also that by confronting the “bad” and rejecting it, the sensation of your boundaries holding firm against the outside, you feel your existence, so when you are having self-doubt…
It’s the frustration thing of using “not that!” as orientation.)
This is how you get ppl complaining about people taking breaks, gender non-conformity, childfree couples, divorce, more empathetic rather than strict parenting etc. because how dare those ppl not give up the desires you renouced?
Ppl complaining about divorce have the unhappiest marriages, ppl complaining about the “selfishness” of the childfree are some of the most emotionally distant parents and so on.
Maybe you remember that horrible “marriage requires a mute button” article a while back whre that woman tried to sell you on the idea that every responsible adult must accept that marriage is constantly being irritated at your spouse. (with zero self-awareness of how she described constantly nitpicking, criticizing & failing to show empathy for the husband, & refusing to communicate her wants/needs)
When ppl responded to it saying they actually like their spouses or pointing out that divorce is a thing, she accused them of being naive because A Mature Person(TM) is supposed to make it work and accept that marriage isn’t a cakewalk, damnit.
Reading it you might wonder “why is she torturing herself?” but probably the value of “making a marriage work through realism” is very important to her.
Useful Question: Could it be that this thing bothers you because you kinda want it but think you’re not allowed to have it?
Now for the love of sanity, don’t go torturing yourself by thinking you must secretly want everything that grosses you out. This question is mostly useful to ask when you find yourself disproportionally fixating on something. Being outraged about child labor is probably just because child labor is outrageous, but if it’s a minor lifetime choice thing that won’t kill anyone, it might be worth considering.

suppression

The next ‘layer’ of defense, if incongruous desire or anger does leak out in its ‘raw’ form, is to tamp it down asap & deliberately suppress it.
You try not to be angry or desireous.
As gut types experience feelings mostly through body sensations so suppressing them also means counteracting the bodily impulse that comes with them – this is sometimes described as feeling like the rising heat of anger gets stopped at your neck & jaw, like a cork on a champagne bottle, or the relaxing sensation of pleasure is stopped by tightening & straightening the spine & pelvis.
So there can be actual physical tension held in those areas.
This also feeds into the self-judgement, because a suppressed reaction still happened and you still feel it, even if you put a stop to it.
In that sense 1s might be uniquely cursed among the competency types. You’d physically feel the anger or desire & the need to stop it. So someone might beat themselves up for even thinking of getting angry.
Another thing to note is that while this might seem at first like a relatively voluntary/ semi-conscious action, but when some 1s try to deliberately express their feelings more, they sometimes find the habit to clamp it down has become quite automatic.
- an extreme case of this might be ppl raised in very conservative towns who were told to suppress all sexual desire until marriage, but then when they’re finally married they’re too tense to have enjoyable relations.
Unhealthy 1s can get quite dour & joyless cause pleasure is suspect & suppressed.
- though healthier 1s will be able to relax & express feelings when appropiate, but still be able to restrain themselves where this is useful, like if you’re a surgeon or an emergency responder & need to keep your cool & keep doing the task. In that setting “defending” against getting irritated or otherwise emotional is arguably a good thing, at least for the duration of the important work, it allows 1s to be level-headed professionals.
Useful Question: Being patient, disciplined & restrained is often very useful, but are you counterbalancing this with some outlets? (dance, time in nature, and regular vacations seem to be some popular ones with well-adjusted type 1s)

Reparation & undoing

This is sort of a cousin of reaction formation in that it also involves “making up” for a “bad” thought/deep by doing something “good”, but the difference is that in this case, the horses have already left the barn, rather than preventing an incongruent thought or action these are about coping with the aftermath after it has already occurred.
The above constellation (particularly on the less aware/mature side) can easily produce a lot of guilt that then needs to be ‘defended’ against lest it set off the fear of condemnation.
Undoing is to take an opposite action immediately afterwards, which in the person’s mind makes it so the “bad” thought or deed never happened.
For example you thought about blowing up at someone and then acted extra nice to them because you felt bad about it, or you actually did blow up at your spouse but then buy them some flowers to “make it okay”.
In the case of reparation, the bad deed is not quite considered ‘erased’, it still ‘counts’ and there are still feelings of guilt and accountablity, but you made up for it. You’re a changed man.
This is like those people telling you about the wicked life they used to live before they came to jesus, but now they are completely different.
Sometimes making amends or focussing on doing a better job next time is, of course, a constructive way to deal with mistakes. (and 1s for their part also forgive more easily if they see someone’s willing to make amends, have consequences, show they learned something etc.)
There are two ways this can become problematic in less aware individuals, however.
First, when it becomes a compulsion to constantly make up for perceived ‘guilt’.
Cracked and ate a chocolate muffin? Now you must do 20 extra minutes of exercise!
There was an interesting anecdote on a podcast about an 1 woman who got involved with a more ‘wild’ guy, and then immediately chopped off her hair to something more austere looking, like she’d strayed too much to the wild side & needed to correct it.
The guy took it as mixed signals.
The Second is when the person considers their deed ‘made up for’, but others don’t. The wife doesn’t forgive you despite the flowers, because you can’t really erase what happened or the concerns she has with you.
Or the preacher guy who ‘came to Jesus’ expects to be forgiven by everyone now because he “repented and made amends”, “overcome his struggle with temptation” & that was “his old life”.
Another way this may look is someone considering that their spouse & kids shouldn’t bring up past grievances anymore because they apologized and promised to change.
others might well find it hypocritical when someone who has clearly messed up at some point in his life starts talking to you about the Best Way To Do Things and how you should be following their sage advice. They won’t just act as if the past actions never happened.
There is, of course, a strong incentive to believe in an espouse the redemption narative when it feels like the only other alternative is that you are an Irredeemable Bad Person(TM) forever. Trying harder to strive for the perfect world that ought to have been is one’s saving grace – if that doesn’t count, then what does?
So as understandable it is that others might call bull/hypocrisy, there is also a lot of pain behind this which, alas, often only causes the counterproductive patterns to become more rigid.
Someone’s response being “try harder!” (for all that it can be the 1s greatest strength in other contexts) can also make it harder to recognize situations where it would be better to walk away or stop trying to do the impossible.
Useful Question:
On the one hand: Will anything good come out of continuing to be harsh on yourself? Maybe you can forgive and/or accept yourself without feeling like you need to constantly work on “redemption” or “betterment” – especially if the cause of your feeling guilty is just being an imperfect fallible human.
On the other hand, especially if your actions impacted another: Does your idea of what would constitute restituition align with the wronged party?

Hi. I am a man in need of somebody to love. I am looking for a best friend and life partner to explore and enjoy all of life’s splendor with. A woman to love, support, and shower with affection.
So, a little about me. Engineering is my day-job, although I quit my current job due to lack of growth (among many other factors) so I’m back to applying. I am 25 and living on the East-Coast USA. I don’t smoke, and only drink on special occasions. When it comes to hobbies, I mostly like to play video games. I'm mainly on PC but I’ve also played on consoles for years. I enjoy most genres so I’m not really too picky with what to play. I’m also into other things like Marvel, DC, Star Wars, etc. I also watch a lot of YouTube (frankly more than I watch other streaming services). Other things I like are 3D printing, traveling, and swimming. I am also very big on food. I love to eat out when I can, and I love trying new things when it comes to food. I also cook when I can, and I love to try new recipes. Music is also a major part of my life. I love to sing (especially in the car) and jam out and dance around whenever possible. I listen to a lot of pop and Spanish pop/reggaeton, but I also listen to rock, video game music, edm, rap, etc.
A little about me personally, I value companionship in my life. I hold my loved ones, both friends and family, to the highest regard. I also know I have a lot of love to give. I desire to be by someone’s side, but who also will be there for mine. I consider myself to be very empathetic, very loyal, and very affectionate. I consider myself pretty open-minded, left-leaning, and I’m told I have a contagious laugh. I wear my heart on my sleeve to the people I am close to, and am very passionate about the things I love. I’m also an introvert. I don’t like small talk, I’m much more interested in learning about the person themselves. I want to know your dreams, aspirations, how you like to spend your time, and how I can contribute.
As far as what I am looking for in a person. I am mainly looking for someone around my age, between 20-25. If you are a year or two out of that range I probably won’t mind if we end up clicking. I’d prefer if you lived close-by (I am frequently between either MD or NC, mostly NC now) but I am not against LDR, just please be residing in this country for the sake of timezone struggles. I have preferences when it comes to physicality and appearance, but as I said at the end of the day it is the person that I value above all. Some traits I hold to high-value are sincerity, compassion, empathy, humor, honesty, open-mindedness. Honestly, the ability and desire to have deep conversations and also just joke around about dumb shit. I am also the type of person who much prefers intimate dates like a dinner, or just staying at home to watch a movie/tv-show and play games. I’m not usually one to go out drinking or partying. I can be extroverted in a social setting but it’s not my preference. Hopefully you feel similarly.
If you got this far, thank you for your time, truly. I appreciate it.
If I got your attention feel free to message me, but please don’t message with just a “Hi.” Tell me a little about yourself too. I’d love to know more about you.
See you soon!

They called it a Scryglass, the pun being very much intentional.
It was a mirror inscribed with magic runes that could be touched to match with a signature. We had effectively reinvented the telephone, but with the benefit of visuals to go with it. Even though it reflected the room behind me, I didn't show up, nobody showed up.
I tapped the runes indicated, and the Scryglass shifted to show a Human, who looked surprised.
"Holy shit, it actually worked." She remarked. She scrutinized me. "I was led to believe your Imperator would be speaking with us."
"I am Imperator Ruuk Stingtail." I stated. "My death was not exaggerated, the Gods simply had need of me. The short of it is that our High Priest was a saboteur for Tiamat, and had been using my brother, the acting Imperator, as a puppet. He is still at large, unfortunately, having escaped with Tiamat's intervention." I paused. "If you have a seat, please take it, I cannot guarantee this will be a quick call."
A chair was brought in, we both sat in our respective spots.
"Might I know your name, Human?" I asked.
"Staff Sergeant Catalina Rosaria Cortez." She replied. "We understand this Tiamat infiltrated our number under the alias of Tiana Martel."
"How much do you know of Tiamat's involvement in events?" I asked. "I ask mainly to ensure if you are missing any information, you can be apprised of the details."
"We don't know a whole lot." Sgt. Cortez stated. "We've been flying in the dark here for a year."
I nodded. I gave a rough overview of events as I remembered them, with Bahamut filling in the gaps that I had forgotten. A few of my Council looked uncomfortable when I mentioned we had once been Human, a fact I had already forgotten.
"For the purposes of interacting with us, approach any situation with the understanding that most- if not all of us- do not remember ever being Human. It's a detail even I find myself forgetting."
She nodded. "To be honest with you, we have had some trouble remembering that as well. I've gone over past reports, and it's clear that our memory is being affected as well, the blockades were enacted because we had come to the conclusion that you were invaders, rather than residents."
"That is alarming." I remarked. "Kashak! Alert the Circle that the Humans are experiencing the same loss in memory."
"The 'Circle'?" Sgt. Cortez asked.
"Our Circle of Mages, recently founded. They are a group of Sorcerers, Warlocks, Clerics... Anyone who has an interest in studying magic. It is their mission to find a way to properly contain the Divine Essence of Kurtulmak, and if possible, bring him back so the transformation of Humans into Kobolds can be controlled."
"Do you believe a God can be brought back to life?" She asked.
"I was." I replied. "Why not him?"
"Please tell her that, while I appreciate some of her men giving homage to me, it is unnecessary." Bahamut stated. "I am not the one containing the Divine Essence, it is the faithful who remain who keep it gathered."
"You can tell your men they don't need to pray to Bahamut." I said, she looked surprised, and a little confused. "While he appreciates it, he's not the one who's keeping the Divine Essence contained. Those of us who stubbornly continue to worship Kurtulmak are keeping it from spreading."
"I see..." She said.
"That being said, nothing is stopping them from continuing." I said. "As the new head of his Temple on Earth, I am... restructuring things."
"You took over the Temple." She said. "Making you the sole authority in your nation."
"If it makes you feel any better, I literally have Bahamut watching over my shoulder, there's nothing like a lawfully good Deity whose entire thing is Justice to provide some oversight."
She laughed, meaning my attempt at humor worked. "Sorry." She said. "That was rude of me."
"It was intentionally a joke." I said, easing her guilt. "The purpose of these Scryglasses- yes, I'm told it's a pun- is to ensure quick communication in the event things start going wrong."
She nodded. "So I was told." She said. "Is there anything you're expecting from us?"
"A rough overview of current events." I said. "Having an evil Dragon Goddess show up and lay waste to an entire town's worth of Kobolds certainly didn't go unnoticed, and that's not going into if she targeted the city over."
She nodded. "Things have been tense." She said. "Your actions led to what is effectively an unscheduled restructuring of our entire government."
'She means the citizens of her nation saw the open mistreatment of your people as the final straw, there was a violent uprising that led to the death and imprisonment of everyone in the higher echelons of government, and a provisional government is currently handling affairs while the situation is resolved.' Bahamut helpfully explained.
"So, you have your own issues on your end as well." I stated diplomatically.
"Tiamat attacking did not help matters." She said. "We still get some dumbshit activists trying to cause problems, thinking we're holding you hostage."
"Do you have any means of contacting them?" I asked.
"In theory, yes. They don't really listen, or pick up."
I nodded. "Contact them, simply tell them Imperator Ruuk is interested in speaking with them. After all, it is in both of our best interests to keep this situation contained."
The relief in her eyes was palpable, I had just lifted the weight of an entire world off her back. "I will do that, Imperator Ruuk." She said.
"Thank you." I tried to think of anything else that came to mind. "Keep me apprised of anything unusual happening on your end, I will have people stationed near this Scryglass to ensure you won't be waiting too long in the event you need my insight."
That was all that needed to be discussed, I ended the connection and sat back in my seat.
'It takes strength to speak with those you hate.' Bahamut stated. 'I am proud of you.'
I nodded. "Compromise." I said. "If I can't do that much, then I show I won't even follow in my God's footsteps."
There was no time for sitting around, ruminating on things that didn't directly serve getting us back on track.
"Hail, Imperator!" A few of our recent additions called out to me, there was still fear in their eyes, but they most certainly respected me. We got the foundation for even having a reservoir built. We all elected not to have indoor plumbing, we'd gotten used to chamber pots and the Druids were efficient at turning our waste into fertilizer, their ability to cleanse of it disease meaning there was no point in doing anything otherwise.
Instead, we elected to have the water go into strategically placed wells, with water created to test them out and ensure we would get flooded if a little too much water came in.
Thanks to the efforts of the Artificers and Druids, we had a system that would accommodate a proper reservoir, with future plans to have one made and installed. As we were patting ourselves on the back and celebrating our efforts, someone came running up to me. "Imperator! We need your assistance! Elgo snapped, we don't know what to do!"
"Show me." I said.
The Circle of Mages were situated in what I called the Arcane District, and considering the sounds coming from within, I knew the situation was serious. I ran past confused and concerned mages and headed for the far door.
Beyond it, I saw Elgo running around, grabbing paper and scrawling on it, paying no mind to the things he was knocking over. He was talking to himself, muttering frantically under his breath in a mixtire of Yipyak and English, as well as a few other languages I didn't recognize.
His hand seized a pen and he began drawing circles and diagrams on each page.
'Leave him be, Ruuk.' Bahamut stated. 'Give him some space.'
I shut the door, not really questioning what Bahamut knew that I didn't- not yet, at least. I looked at the other Mages. "Give him space." I said. "If it persists longer than a few days, then we get involved."
We didn't even need to wait the full day, Elgo came out of the room carrying a bunch of pages loosely bound together with string, which he brought over, slammed on a table, and began pointing at things and jibbering madly.
"Elgo, Elgo." I said, reaching out to him and trying to calm him down.
"No, Imperator, you do no understand-" He slipped into another language, emphatically trying to communicate something. I looked at the others. Anyone know Comprehend Languages?"
This seemed to snap Elgo back into reality. He looked at me for several moments, then stepped away, taking the bound-together papers and a cup of water. "This will explain it." He said, thumbing through the pages until he landed on one. This time, he spoke slowly and deliberately, half of his words were understandable, while the rest were not. It took him a full minute.
He flung the water, which twisted and roiled in the air before splashing against the ground. I watched in awe as the water then began to rise up, taking a humanoid form.
"Wait, you awoke as a Sorcerer?" A Warlock asked.
"No, he's our first Wizard." Arix stated. "Those papers in his hands? That's his spellbook. That insane babbling we heard? It's not insane to him."
Elgo nodded, "Yeah." He said. "It's, ah, a water elemental, kuutravai rukata vos aquan capable of, well, anything that water is capable of, like kavata tuugra shalai with its mass derived directly from the elemental plane of water."
"You could have just said 'magic' over and over again and we would have gotten exactly the same information out of that." Arix said. "What even is that language you're speaking?"
"He is speaking the Primordial tongue, the language of Elementals, the First Words of Asgorath." Bahamut spoke through me.
"Oh, you're familiar with it?" Elgo asked.
"Bahamut is." I said. "Mind filling us in on what he said?"
"The concepts are far more ancient than any modern languages can adequately convey, yet simplified, they can put out fires and smash things." Bahamut replied.
Elgo winced. "That's not really a good explanation." He said.
"It is not incorrect. You will have to learn how to convey these concepts in simpler terms, especially as you will need to teach those who will come after you." Bahamut retracted, and I felt a little drained. "Elgo, congratulations on your Awakening, I'll get an Artificer to make you a proper spellbook so you don't have to worry about your pages falling out." I looked pointedly at the page that was flopping to the floor. He quickly snatched it up.
"For the record." Bahamut spoke again. "He is the equivalent of a 'level ten', in your terms."
I blinked, Arix asked, "How?"
"I think it's because I've been spending my every waking moment trying to figure out how magic works." Elgo said. "I've studied scrolls and magic items, asking about specific runes and arrays. Today, it all just... clicked." He paused. "In fact, I feel like I have a greater grasp of our situation, maybe. I'll need more paper, more time to observe things."
I nodded. "Get on it, and report to me directly when you've finished. Your knowledge will be needed on my Council."
He nodded. "Yeah, yeah, Council. Wait, Council?" He looked at me.
"Every time a new Class is awakened, they are given a spot on my Council." I stated.
He looked distressed. "But there's so much I need to focus on, I can't be bogged down with politics! There's the matter of how we're going to gather up the Divine Essence and contain it, because even if we aren't showing signs of anything wrong with us, there's no telling what long-term effects we'll begin to display. I mean, there's gradual yellowing of everyone's eyes, and I'm fairly certain that isn't jaundice, not to mention the rapidity of cognitive degradation compared to the normal rate- more specifically in the region of the brain that governs memory, on top of everything else that's going on and I don't have the capacity to really do that."
I blinked, speechless for a moment. "As Councilor, you will have the authority to delegate." I stated firmly. "And having my ear on any problem you find or any solution you come up with will ensure they are handled immediately."
"R-right, I didn't think about that."
"That being said, I am going to require you to accompany me tonight, if you are as well-studied as you think you are, you'll be able to help us."
He nodded.
I put things in motion to get him a proper spellbook made, then continued about my day. By the time of the ritual, he'd already copied everything into a nice, leatherbound book, and he looked significantly less scatterbrained.
We prepared the ritual, which he observed quietly.
"Several issues." He said, after we finished. "First and foremost, the people who can't use magic are superfluous, they can just sit over here and pray and it would probably be just as effective."
A few of my fellow faithful started yelling at him.
"Quiet." I stated, they all went silent. "Elgo is here specifically to address anything he sees as not working or being counterproductive. Go on, Elgo."
"Right. Second, you're just throwing herbs in there, you need a proper incense, considering you're trying to worship a dead God back to life, frankincense, myrrh, and dragon's blood resin would be more effective, and these things can be purchased from any spiritual shop- I'm sure there's plenty in the next town over, we'll just have to contact the soldiers and get them to agree to get the materials."
"I have a means of communication, go on."
"Oh? I'll have to see it." He remarked. "Third, that's just a basic brazier full of wood you got from the ground. I understand you're desperately trying your best, but you're not getting anywhere if you're half-assing it. You're going to need- at the very least- something that actually matches what Kurtulmak likes. Not to mention getting wood that has the properties you need."
He looked thoughtful. "Fourth, you have his spear, you have armor that he made, yes? Use them. You have the best possible implements for- at the very least- gathering the Divine Essence into something that can hold it."
"Is that everything?" I asked.
"Everything that makes sense at least." He remarked. "Anything else, we're going to have to adjust."
I nodded. "Then let's make this a priority, if we're just wasting time now, we'd better use it so we aren't." We came together and- pooling our understanding- we came to a plan that could work.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Cuts and gashes, the dead fighting the dead, culling the weak so the strong remained. The souls we slew would remain dead, irretrievable.
In the distance, a voice calls out to me.
​
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AN: To preface this, I've never tried my hand at any kind of creative writing. I've just kinda finally decided I wanted to take the world I built in my head and put it on paper and actually get the ideas out there. I'll take all the criticism I get, but also pls be nice :D
The sound of a mana-charged mining explosive echoed through the large cavern, revealing the figures of the dwarven mining team through the newly opened gap in the collapsed entryway. As they stepped through the gap in the rubble, the dwarves looked around the chamber in awe. Flanking them on both sides were lines ancient moss-covered machinations, no doubt creations of the ancients. These ancient structures were sat upon circular pedestals embedded into the ground, withtheir main bodies being cylindrical in shape rising from the pedestals. Near the top of their cylindrical bodies, long, thin, and hollow rods protruded from vertical slits in their bodies. For what purpose these ancient machines served, the dwarves could not guess, except that these structures no longer functioned as they completely lacked a mana field. In fact, the dwarves noticed that the entire cavern lacked mana, a true anomaly in this world of magic.
After the dwarves had their fill of admiring the intricate craftsmanship of the ancient structures, they moved towards the smooth, metal-plated far wall of the cavern. However, it was not the exotic nature of the metal that adorned the wall nor how perfectly cut the panels were that attracted the attention of the dwarven group, but it was the very large and hefty gateway in the middle of the room. A gateway that could have easily accommodated multiple orc siege towers moving side by side through them with room to spare.
Nearing the gateway, the lead dwarf, Gloria, noticed two identical pedestals on either side of the gateway. While the left pedestal appeared non-functional, the right pedestal had a small red light emanating from a button on the side, near the top of its slanted surface. The dwarf approached the pedestal and, letting curiosity get the better of her, pushed the glowing red button. Instantly, thebutton switched to a green color and the slanted top of the pedestal began to emit a glow from beneath the layers of dust buildup. Using a nearby rock, she was able to bring herself to a level where she could peer down on the slanted surface with ease. Wiping the surface clean of dust with her arm, the dwarf sharply inhaled as she was presented with an artificial brightness she never expected to see from a mana-less device that was projecting the language of the ancients at her. She quickly pulled the only member of their mining team that could partially read the ancient language and had him translate what it said:
We-come to Hephaestus-1. P-ease sca- you- cre-e-t-als.
Gloria stepped back and considered to herself what the ancient pedestal could be trying to tell her. While she was sure that the name of the fortress was Hephaestus, she was not sure how to enter and began to ponder how one might activate the pedestal; however, this did not last very long before the rookie on her team waltzed up to the pedestal and begin to channel his mana into it. To his untrained mind, all artifices needed mana and this pedestal was no different from a mana-interface used toopen the great gates of their capitol, Limdor. While he may have been right, the methods by with each interface accomplished their tasks differed greatly, as the pedestal was created at the beginning of the mana-corruption that infested this world thousands of years beforehand.
As the mana flowed began to flow from the top of the pedestal and along the wires within, ancientsensors embedded within roared to life. Their purpose finally being fulfilled, a signal was sent to the AI core housed within Hephaestus, rousing it from its deep slumber. Automated systems began to kick into gear, most notably the defense turrets strategically placed throughout the chamber.
As they whirred to life and the chamber began to illuminate with unnatural lighting dispersedthroughout the walls, Gloria looked up from her thoughts and saw the ancient machinations in the room begin to move of their own accord. She looked back at the pedestal to the young dwarf channeling his mana into the pedestal. She yelled at him to stop, but it was too late. She looked at the machinations that were no longer pointing their barrels towards the ground, but at her groupinstead. She gave the order to retreat, and before long the group started to run towards the way they came in.
As they ran, she heard the gears within the machines activate as they tracked the movement of the group. Gloria ran as fast as she could before a single deafening boom emanated from one of the machinations. They all fell to the floor and saw smoke rising from the barrel of one of them, before hearing a thud as the dwarven miner the aforementioned barrel was pointing at fell to the floor with an unnaturally large cavity in the middle of her torso. Seeing their comrade brought down in such a way was, to say the least, too much for the rest of the dwarven team, save for Gloria. While the others remained frozen in place from pure shock and blown eardrums, Gloria pulled herself up by her bootstraps and booked it to the exit. Four more thunderous booms echoed through the chamber as she clambered through the gap into the ancient artificial tunnel system that they had originally been tasked with exploring. She dared not look back, for fear of being picked off by one of the ancients’ machines. Gloria steadied herself from her panicked breathing and began to make her way to theexist. She had to inform the council of this at once.
In an ocean, far removed from the beaches of the kingdom that Gloria’s team were located on, an Elven fleet lay in waiting. All had been quiet up until the moments following the dwarf’s escape from that cavern, when suddenly the elves sensed a large buildup of energy far beneath the waves. Fearing an attack from a creature of legend, the Elves ran to battle stations. Before long, a series of large capsules, a little bit larger than a sailboat, shot up from the ocean floor over a short period of time. The capsules continued to fly high into the sky before igniting a flame beneath them and proceeding to fly into the heavens. While the majority of the elven warriors attempted to recover from the shockwaves created by the capsules launching from the water at such a high velocity, the elven generals and admirals ran to the communication orbs to confer with their leaders in Elymia.
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