Happy birthday mom i heaven

Happy Birthday, Rach!!

2020.12.02 14:34 the-earth-aint-flat Happy Birthday, Rach!!

Happy Birthday, Rach, this is for you I hope you don't find this before your birthday lmao oops hahahah

2013.09.18 16:56 ivari r/kancolle - Month of Samidare!

A subreddit for the Japanese game about cute WW2 ships fighting cute evil not-WW2 ships.

2011.08.26 20:52 randomdesigner r/cakeday: Enjoy your complimentary karma.

This is the community where you can celebrate your cakeday! Post a link and enjoy your gift of karma!

2023.06.10 06:34 flippenphil (OFFER) Trauma Center, the little mermaid, super troopers 2, yesterday, marauders, mr. holmes, scary stories, a thousand words, the dark tower, big hero 6, jungle cruise, strange world (REQUEST) Ambulance, the Menu, ISO on bottom / offers

MA = Movies Anywhere
GP = Googleplay
[?] = unknown definition
title = pending trade
If a title is no longer listed = It has been traded
TV Series Marked
Vudu Only
ITUNES Only MOVIES - No Port - Marked
CANADIAN CODES: GOOGLE PLAY / ITUNES MARKED I do not know any of these port
Titles I am looking for
submitted by flippenphil to uvtrade [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:34 GroundbreakingEar690 [OC][Art] Used AI for a Quick Set of Cards for a Home Brew Campaign


Wanted to provide this set of nine cards I threw together for our DND campaign. My players will be entering a city tomorrow and one of the shops is called: Curio Curiosity Shoppe.
I have the rest of the shops, encounters and everything mapped out. The players are level 1 and it felt like the deck of many things and some of the other decks that have been homebrewed and posted seemed a little too strong for the party this early on. Additionally, a majority of the players are new to DND. I wanted to make a small deck of cards that would allow them to ease into things like the deck of many things with out the overwhelming benefits/withdrawals early on. Feel free to use.

The Shop:

The Deck:

The Cards:

Draw a card and roll 1d4 for effect. Once a card is pulled or flipped the player may not receive that card again.
The Mother You feel a warm embrace:
The Lovers You have formed a life long bond:
The Pride You feel a strong sense of self worth and confidence:
The Fall You have a sinking feeling in your gut:
The Wizard Arcane power envelopes the room:
The Hunter The smell of pine and dirt fills the air. Coyotes howl in the distance while a cold breeze flows through your hair:
The Teacher: The smell of fresh books can be smelt:
The Warrior: A sense of honor and strength washes over you:
The Calamity:
Ţ̴̯̤͖̝̦͙̠͇͓̯̯̹̘͋̐̔͋́̈́̏̍͛̑̚͜ẖ̷̨̨̛̲͓̠̮̞̙͎̬̒͛̍̕ẽ̵̡̛̘͒́ͅs̴̤̮͖̯̱̲̯̥̭̈́͌ë̴̛̠̫͕́̽́́̐̋͊͝͝ ̵̡͔̮̺̭̘͎͙̩̫̖̀͋͂̉̈́̏̿w̷̢̨̹̘̭͎̲͔̘̫̆̀̅̂ǫ̸̲̼͔̭͇̜̞̯̪͚̼͕̣̏͋̾͌̏͗̈́̽͘ͅř̴̡̰̤̗̝̝͚̠̼̩̈̊͊̊̀̈́̈͘̕̚ḑ̶͔̜̯̹̦̹̼͔̼̹̇͑̽̿͗̿͗͛̀̇̍̀̽͜ș̶̨̹̯̰̙̤͙͚̲̟̠͇̱͙̓͑͆͋̏̚͠ ̸̨̘̈́̐̊͌͝ȧ̴͚̣̤̱͚̞̣̞̦̮̘͛̓̅͐̂̃̀́͛̚͝ͅr̴̮͈̭͚̘̠͔͚͈͛͗͆͑̈́̔͗̏͜ͅe̵̖̰̹͐͐̓̏͛̐͗̍̏̊̽͊̍ ̸̡͚̰̳̩̦͖̗̓̌̄̄ụ̸͔̼̭̣͕͙̪͔̽͒̓̄́̏͐̊̀̓͝͠ṉ̸̞̦͑̾̋̅́͊̕͝k̷̫̬̩̯̲̖̏̿͗̍̇nó̷̘̻ẇ̷̡͚̯̭͎̤̙͚̣̽́̿̑̈́̎͗̈́̍͠ͅn̸̡͚̤̭͚̹͎̮͔̱̣̦̼̉̊͌̐̽͋̒͘͘

Image Generation: Stable Diffusion - Prompt: absurdres, best quality, ultra detailed, detailed background,(art nouveau:1.5), (zentangle:1.3),1girl,crimson
Negative prompt: SimpleNegative, (worst quality, low quality:1.4),[:(badhandv4:1.5):0.7] ,(bad-hands-5:1.2)
The image has the cards set on a standard paper size and should be roughly the size of standard playing cards. Hope this is helpful, happy adventures.
submitted by GroundbreakingEar690 to DnD [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:34 _ravioli_buster_ Feel as if my doctor berated me for my weight.

Hi, for the better part of 2 years now l've been taking care of my mental health and taking sertraline. It has worked tremendously well for my overall mental health improvement, I have accomplished so many personal achievements since taking it, anyways i digress. The other day I had an appointment regarding starting up my prescription again due to me running out. Now the clinic that I go to recently got a new doctor, no biggie.
I got checked in like usual and went into a room to meet my dr and go over my current prescription.Now heres the thing I am a fairly large woman, I have always struggled with my weight and have gone through many ED's ones where I've lost 60 pounds in 3 months and ones where I've gained weight equally as rapidly.
From the immediate get-go my dr made it seem like my main and overall reason for the appointment was for my weight and yes I am unhealthy in the weight sense and I have considered talking to my dr about it but that appointment was for my depression/anxiety meds.
I know she is a doctor and wants the best for her patients but it would be one thing if she mentioned it once but she kept going about it from beginning to end. She even asked me about counseling and how if I can't afford that, that church was also a good idea.
She also made some very what I consider "out of pocket comments". In our small talk I mentioned how I am getting my ged and thinking of going to college to be a teacher. As she looked at my weight chart she asked me "now what are we going to do about this weight, because with this weight you are not going to be a teacher.
This is the comment that broke me, after many degrading comments this one hit hard I am a high school dropout and I have struggled with my education immensely and hope to in the future help other struggling young students, It felt like a personal dig at me.
I was already feeling super emotional as I had gone a couple weeks without a refill on my sertraline and I started to cry after that comment. We talked about my weight more and she left the room and when she came back she had brought me a sample bottle of weight loss medication. I did some blood work to check my thyroid and shortly left to pick up my prescriptions.
The doctor was overall profesional and kept a "cordial" tone but I left feeling absolutely terrible about myself.I've struggled with my weight all my life and although I am not happy at all about my current weight, it does not negatively impact my mental health to the extreme that it once did.
I have considered talking to my dr about weight loss medication or just overall health advice but I planned to do that on my own time in it's own appointment that didn't involve my mental health. I have also been thinking of the fact how I went there as my mental health was doing bad, this situation could've easily brought me or any other person in a similar position over the edge.
I'm left feeling conflicted about the overall situation, I understand my doctor was just fulfilling her job and making sure her patients are healthy but after talking to family and friends about the situation they seemed extremely offended and livid for me.
Has anyone ever been in a Similar situation? How would you have felt in my shoes?
submitted by _ravioli_buster_ to PlusSize [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:33 yash190193 Find My iPhone as Alarm!

Guys!! Me and my girlfriend are in a LDR and we always find ways to ease the distance part between us. We stay at a time difference of 12 hours, literally on the other side of the planet. So, when needed, we used to give each other wake-up calls which didn’t always work when the person is sleeping sound to be unable to hear the ring or the ringtone volume is low.. we both use iPhones and share a family plan.
We’ve recently hit it out of the park after we started using the find my phone app to play sound on the other ones phone, as alarm!
-It plays at significantly higher volume -It plays even when the phone is on silent mode -It plays loud even when the ringer volume is low -Important of all, it makes both of us happy ultimately, cause it works out always..
PS. Those small/little things matter in a relation. Not many folks may find this usable. But someone might.. and I’m also not sure if this is an old trick!
submitted by yash190193 to LDR [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:33 sugarCravings4eva Unleashed aggressive dog attacked my leashed dog and in turn shoved my daughter’s stroller

Short version: While on an evening stroll with my daughter in her stroller and my dog, Charlie (20 lb doodle mix) on leash at a neighborhood park an unleashed dog, Max (about 80-100lb English cream golden retriever) ran towards us and attacked my dog (teeth showing). My dog screamed in fear and wrapped around me and the Max went after him and pushed the stroller out a couple feet. My daughter was sleeping and woke up startled and crying. Maxs owner stayed at a distance watching and refused to leash the dog after the incident. When confronted, he turned verbally abusive. I walked away consoling my crying infant and not wanting to aggravate the situation. Looking for advise on how to deal with this situation and also if this repeats in the future. Both dogs are regulars at this park.
Long version: a bit back story… My dog Charlie is trained and listens to commands pretty well, he gets along with all people and dogs except for this one, Max. We let him off the leash at this park when no one is around but is always on leash when people/kids are around. There’s a walking path encompassing the park and kids play area where we usually walk. The park has clear signs around that the dogs need to always be on leash. Charlie and the aggressive dog Max have met before and for some reason they did not get along, Max has always been aggressive and scared Charlie. We usually walk away when Max comes to this park since Max has attacked Charlie on 3 different occasions, but this was before my daughter was born. So it was easier to just pick up 20lb Charlie to safety and diffuse the situation. On this particular day, we were walking our usual path when Max jumped us and attacked Charlie. Charlie was leased and went in between and around my legs to avoid Max. Max being super big (anywhere between 80-100lb) pushed the stroller with my child in it. Luckily the stroller being sturdy didn’t topple over but rather slipped out of my hand and landed a couple feet away from me onto the grass area.my daughter screamed, started crying and after seeing me scream max ran away. It terrified me, my daughter could have been seriously injured in this! Through all this, Max’s owner was at a distance just watching. No recall or if he did it was not effective. So after the whole incident, my husband went to talk to the owner to get him to leash the dog so this doesn’t happen again. The owner turned hostile and refused to do so. When my husband mentioned that these were the park rules and he could report him, he started verbally abusing us and asked us to f*** off and do whatever we wanted. I was consoling my crying daughter and just asked him to show basic courtesy, he just turned away. There were a bunch of kids on the play area and other moms around, just watching. I didn’t want to aggravate the situation and asked my husband (who took a video of the man and unleashed dog) to walk away and not do anything right then since my daughter was #1 priority then.
I am sure if and when we cross paths with Max again, this will repeat. Both dogs are regulars at this park but we’ve always kept our distance. I am sure the dog Max is a good dog because we’ve seen him do some tricks, but I blame the owner for not doing enough to train/control him and turning bitter after.
I am looking for any advise on how to deal with this situation as well as a scenario when this happens again. The man seems mean enough to hurt others, or maybe that’s just my protective instinct talking. I don’t want to hurt Max but this incident should never happen to me or anyone else walking in that park.
submitted by sugarCravings4eva to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:33 Dramatic-Box-1989 Im stuck between sports and dont know what to do

I wanted to play sport so last year I picked up basketball. I joined a class. i was 14.I became OBSESSED. In just the few months I was there I was one of the fastest progressing players there. I was being put in matches above my age group. I would wake up at 4 to either run a 10k or to practice my handles. I lost a ton of fat and was getting stronger. The official competition is once a year in September. I played so much I got sick multiple times. In one weekend I ran 50k. At the academy I had a rep to be the “quiet one” . I had no interest in making freinds and would try to have the least social interaction as possible. Many people tried to befriend me but I alienated myself. I would come early to class and work on harder and harder drills. Once I came an hour early in the blistering Sun and worked so hard I passed out. By the time September rolled around I realized somthing very annoying. There were 2 main categories under 14 and under 17. If I could get in under 14 I was the best player. But under 17 had players playing since they were 4. Because of my birthday if I had been born a month later I’d be in under 14. So I didn’t make the team I told myself I’m litterely the youngest in this category and I’d work till next year to be the best.
Things went ok till January One of the seniors talked to the coach and made a Plan that every kid shall be assigned a senior as like a sub coach of sorts. I got the best player. Although it was never clearly stated I got the feeling that I was placed with the most devoted kids. There were 4 of us. The guys whose wing i was under was tall, muscular and i had always looked up to him .Me being garbage, played the worst I have ever as a first impression. He always seemed like a goofy lighthearted person but in training he allowed no mistakes. He yelled at me multiple times. The more I tried not to mess up the worse I played. I did trash in even the easiest drills. When there was a 3 person drill he asked me to sit out and made a kid younger than me do it. I felt like crying. I went home and did cry in the shower for a long time. Then I didn’t go for 4 days because I was scared. When I finally mustered courage he treated my like an outcast. The one thing he hated more than a bad player was one who didn’t take this seriously. I did nothing that whole day, and never went back.
My parents had been trying to convince me not to go in February or March as we had to travel in February and I had exams in March. My grades had be so and so and I was so afraid to go back that I agreed. after exams i was even more afraid to go because i hadnt been for 2 months. my dad pursued me to take up tennis becuase it wasnt a team sport and in all my games i had always been in the extras. he also plays tennis so he would have someone to play with .I gave myself a fresh start, and i hated it. tennis just wasnt for me. i was placed with a group of 5 year olds and even though the coaches were very supported i just didnt enjoy it. after going for a month i just said i wont go anymore. my dad and i had a few arguements and there was a kind of silent hostility, becuase i wasnt going. eventually he told me i was just a lazy person who doesnt want to work hard and is using basketball to escape tennis and soon i will quit basketball too. now, this infuriated me beyond words. i had worked to be the opposite of that person. i used to to sneak out at 4 to work hard. i remember once a visiting coaches had announced to my age group that they should be like me (because he had seen me come early, stayed focused the whole time and not spoke to anyone). after a while he was convinced i won and he reluctantly agreed. this whole time i had been fighting to go to basketball, but i couldnt because i would have been gone for about 5 months now.
so for the past month, ive been sitting at home. ive quit running, gotten out of shape. i really have been thinking of going back to the academy, but just to return as the fat slob who quit for 6 months and returned around tournament season. it would basically look like i have no dedication to actually play the game consistently but just grab a quick trophy. even if i stay dedicated i wont make the team with just 3 months of practice. so either i quit sports alltogther, I somehow go back to the academy, tell the coach why i left and work up from scratch, or i take up tennis or another sport. all the paths seem terrible and ive come here as a last resort.
submitted by Dramatic-Box-1989 to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 alyska__ thank yousss

thank yousss
thank you to:
u/zuuzuubean AGAIN, i always love trading with you :)
u/saltyspidergwen they’re so precious
u/unlikelycupcakebi the huge washi tapes are SO cool?!
u/rebelraf I was so happy when i saw these for trade, now j the issue is deciding where to put them
u/Major-Subject647 vintage stickers and veggie stickers are two of my favorite things, so thanks for combining them and trading with me lol
u/eclecticGhost I gave the horror movie one to my friend today and he loved it so ty :)
u/froghat trading with you was awesome and the little guitar cat made my husband smile so ty as well
u/cosmic_kepler ahhhh, i was so excited to get this! it’s the first trade i’ve ever done like this and you made it wonderful
u/Several-Thought-7114 i’ve been wanting one of these so ty!
u/skankordie everything is even more precious in person, thanks for being so patient and kind with the trade
submitted by alyska__ to StickersExchangeClub [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 Radiant_Dig_2837 TTC & Beatles Song The Inner Light

The Beatles released a song "The Inner Light" on a non-album single in March 1968, composed by George Harrison, the lyrics are a rendering of a poem from the TTC 47.
Without going out of my door
I can know all things of earth
Without looking out of my window
I could know the ways of heaven
The farther one travels
The less one knows
The less one really knows
Without going out of my door
I can know all things of earth
Without looking out of my window
I could know the ways of heaven
The farther one travels
The less one knows
The less one really knows
Arrive without travelling
See all without looking
Do all without doing
submitted by Radiant_Dig_2837 to taoism [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 WhateverItWasILostIt The struggles of making friends in the TTC community

Struggling to conceive, for me, has been one of the most isolating experiences of my life, and I’ve been through some crap. To add in miscarriage as well, makes it even worse, because you find out the hard truth that no one really wants to talk about either. Except, of course, if you’ve been through it also. I’ve taken great comfort in talking to others who are going through this, and I made some great connections along the way.
The problem with making friends in the ttc community though, especially if you’ve been struggling for a while, is that of course we’re all working towards the same goal, and when one of you achieves that, and the other doesn’t, there’s nothing to relate to anymore. Too much awkwardness, envy, pain. At least, that’s what I keep experiencing.
This month had been one of my lowest. The past while, I had a small group of women I had connected with on a ttc forum. We all had losses around the same time, and had been roughly trying for around the same time, me being the longest. It felt good to talk to them, to feel understood, to vent out long rambles and for them to just get it. I felt like it kept me sane. But, inevitably, that changes.
Every single one of them fell pregnant this month, except me. I had to watch as one by one they all announced their good news, and “graduated” to the other side, for lack of a better word. After that, the tables turn. A new club formed, that I’m not part of. They move on with their new chapter, and I’m still stuck in this hell, feeling more isolated than ever. I’m happy for them, but sad for me. The things we could relate to and vent about are gone now, I think it was too awkward for them to continue talking to me so they stopped, and now I don’t know how to feel about making friends in this community. Knowing, one day, unless we’re really lucky, it will just stop.
God damn, if it couldn’t suck any harder.
submitted by WhateverItWasILostIt to TryingForABaby [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 Ok-Stock3766 Advice and tons of venting

Hey, I am mom of 11 yr old, ASD,nonverbal, ADHD son. He is very big and strong and has been experiencing puberty. In the last 4 months he has been in and out of ENT due to ear infections which result in him putting things in ears that have to be extracted under anesthesia. They placed ear tubes 2 times, and they fell out. Finally last time we have more long lasting ones. He was back to normal for a month then did a 180. Started attacking me more and biting again. He refused to go to school and when I got him there one day he wouldn't go in. They saw him attacking me and as we got to car it continued- 2 police officers came plus his classroom aide and helped get him in car and calmer. The next day I got him there he attacked from backseat and I ran off road onto shoulder. So he has been so angry and aggressive to the point where summer ABA is not starting and now we are trying a new therapy. The BCBA has known him for 8 years and she suggested I put him in hospital for medication monitoring for a week. I said but I'm all he has and that makes it feel like I am giving up on him. I have not worked since 5/7/22 because of incident at sitters. I am struggling emotionally and financially. I am in counseling btw. I am also covered in bruises and honestly just meant to ask if anyone has had to put child in for medication monitoring? And if it helped. Thank you
submitted by Ok-Stock3766 to Autism_Parenting [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 eriiibear826 new to this idea TW: ED

I am 20f, and have struggled with my weight my entire life, but more specifically since I turned 18. I developed a pretty nasty binge eating disorder, and I would spend most of my nights shoving as much food possible into my mouth to avoid feeling anything. I have been bullied pretty badly because of my weight, and have very low self confidence.
My weight wasn't considered a health issue until recently. I was diagnosed with PCOS and highly suspected sleep apnea. I deal with spurts of starving myself, bingeing, and hating myself for eating regular sized meals at regular times. I have tried several solutions, but none of it is working.
I am honestly crying typing this, because I am terrified. I have a very bad issue with self esteem, but I also have a paralyzing fear of medical procedures because my mom had a botched surgery that destroyed her life.
I would like to hear some success stories, and also maybe some advice on the decision I should make?
CW: 260
Goal Weight: 150
submitted by eriiibear826 to GastricBypass [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 AlcalineAlice Trule

Trule submitted by AlcalineAlice to 196 [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 MundaneAstronaut4274 I’m 16 and friends with my 64 year old boss

Hey, sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes. I (f16) work for my mom's friend (f64). I help her out in her office and sometimes in her house. I clean and help with the computer because she doesn't understand it much. I see her twice or three times a week, so we have become close friends. She is a lonely person and has no actual friends; she has no children, and her husband passed away three years ago. I think we became friends because of our huge age gap and the quality time we spend together. She tells me her life stories and teaches me stuff about life. This might sound a bit unusual, but she's like a grandmother to me. I've never had the opportunity to experience having grandparents since they all passed away while I was a baby. It's been wonderful having someone her age to talk to and spend time with. It's a win win situation for us both. She treats me like a bestie and is very kind to me. She always praises me and tells me how smart and bright I am. We talk as if we've been friends for a decade and share secrets. I feel more comfortable around her than I do with my school friends. Recently, she's been giving me extra hours for free. She's also discussed her inheritance plans, describing someone who sounds like me. She says that she wants someone smart and kind to keep running her business. Although I may be overreacting, I can't help but feel delusional. It's unlikely that she would leave these things to me. I don't want to tell my mom because she’ll probably tell my boss and I'll be embarrassed. I don't know what to do... I'm going on vacation to my country for one and a half months so I called to tell her. She said how sad she was that I'm leaving for such a long time and how she wishes I stayed and gone to Mexico with her instead.
submitted by MundaneAstronaut4274 to story [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:32 Plushmonkey94 How often do you guys do the deed?

Sometimes we have sex once every 3/4 weeks. I’m 28(F) and he’s 31(M) + I’m really really really missing occasional sex I’m happy with sex once w week even!!! Like what we used to do before I fell pregnant and at the beginning of our relationship. I’m 11 months PP and we’ve had sex like 16 times (yes I keep track)
He’s been off anti depressants for 2 months now (as he claimed anti depressants killed his sex drive) but his sex drive still isn’t back. I thought maybe he thought I was less attractive but now I’m looking better now than what I did pre pregnancy (lost baby weight plus more) but I don’t think that’s it. He does have a stressful job and hes always stressed about his alcoholic father who’s drinking himself silly… but idk, he’s an amazing father but he’s just not an amazing partner when it comes to sex anymore 😭
submitted by Plushmonkey94 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 allcityd The best shops to try on Sunglasses in London

Which shop has the best range? I don't trust virtual try on, I never seem to be happy with the results. Thanks 👍
submitted by allcityd to sunglasses [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 Gandalf_the_Giggly Gandalf the White EDH Deck help (Need Finishers)

Gandalf the White Historic EDH (Need finishers)
Hi all! This is my first time seriously brewing a deck and Gandalf is my favorite LOTR character so I have been brewing this deck ever since he was revealed. The deck has a pretty good engine this far but I’m having a hard time finding cards that will close out games and sort of not sure what the deck’s full game plan other than blinking and mowing through the deck and playing a lot of high value ETB effects. I would really love some notes on how to finish out games or just make this deck better in general! Im happy to give the moxfield link as well to anybody interested.
submitted by Gandalf_the_Giggly to EDH [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 Madagascar003 Happy 55th Birthday to Nobutoshi Canna, voice actor of Kai Kogashiwa! 🎉🎂🤩

Happy 55th Birthday to Nobutoshi Canna, voice actor of Kai Kogashiwa! 🎉🎂🤩
Canna is best known for voicing Guts from Berserk (1997), Lancer from Fate/Stay Night, Kabuto Yakushi from Naruto, Van Midou from GetBackers, Nnoitra Gilga from Bleach, Tasuki from Mysterious Play and many many more!
submitted by Madagascar003 to initiald [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 Significant-Sock-450 To Be Loved, To Be Free

(I wrote this poem about my experience with online grooming to help work through the inexplicable pain I felt. I continued on to compete in Speech and Debate with this piece and at this point just want a place to archive it. I hope it reaches someone who needs to hear it.)
[5 min read]
"It started around June 21st, 2021. Which means it's been just over a year, since I was groomed by an adult man. I stand here today to prove to no one but myself, that I can talk about this chapter of my life, and that it is okay to. I am here to be living proof that abuse doesn't mean the end. That you are never too far gone, and you're always worth loving. My abuse story will never look like someone elses, but it stands as an example to prove how some adults are able to manipulate children, even in seemingly passive ways. It took maybe seventeen months to realize the abuse I went through is valid, and worth sharing to help prevent others from making my same mistakes."
I was 16 And a dreamer wanna-be A blue bird in training I live in a beautiful golden cage, With food and water, And a key.
With everything I needed, Discontent reared her ugly head. Shallow hatred of the ways I'd speant my life Begging for something Of substance I didn't want money, or friends, I wanted to send a piece of myself away To trust a man To be grown up For someone To understand
I was 16 And a dreamer turned bird-clipping-its-own-wings Safety meant nothing to me My dreams were jungle palm And my self-hatred a machete
I would have loved to cut through To prove to everyone who knew What was the true center I was nothing, of what I presented- Not the beautiful palm Or crystal waves- I was the hatred The ugly The disinterested way I was Unhappy to be Who sent a piece of unhappy across the sea To a man who knew
I was 16 I still believed in Prince Charming So I gave him the key. I let him inside my cage And smiled and said, "See? We're meant to be! It's the perfect size, You can sleep there, And I'll keep the peace." This arrangement just so happened to be, That I kept things clean, While he turned beautiful words Against me.
I danced in the compliments Reveled in the sweetness of voice Because when given the choice I could not be happy with me
I, a child with tear wrought eyes, Sought sanctuary secretly inside This man's lies. Lies which qualmed the seas of Self hate quieted the jungle cats Who ate my insides Letting the world exacerbate My deteriorating brain
And when caught in that cage, Forced to face The intimacies of men There simply, was no escape.
Health class doesn't teach you How thoes images scar The cage tightened around me Like a dinosaur in tar, Forcing me to confront What my mind couldn't spar-
I told myself "I am 16, This is normal Girls and guys get less formal After less time then this."
So I stayed. I cut my own damn wings Because It seemed Men would only want me For breast For thigh To cast my eye upon him And do as he pleased
I was his, entirely But he was nothing for me. Nothing but vocal chords echoing Through my body Picking out my insecurities With tweezers to keep me tethered. He told me everything I wanted to hear, Sending soft smiles Through my ears While remaining That I was gaining Around the waist
So to compensate I scraped wing and bone Clip off what was me Suck in Pinch sides Cling to his words Listen to lies Roll back your eyes His sweet sighs Comply His noble arrogant pride Comply comply
I was 16 And believed the problem was me If I cried, I was weak If I said no, I was the creep I begged for sleep And got scolded for Trying to leave
I was 16 And learned Prince Charming was a jerk. He didn't care if I said no He only cared that it hurt!
Though feathers regrow And no scars can be seen Inside my golden cage I scream
He never touched me. Still I shrink from any man's company Compliments are manipulation Smiles see right through me Imaginary scenes of the empty threats you sewed to me Haunt my waking hours And devastate any of my dreams This man never picked the lock, I gave him the fucking key
I was only 16 and a year between is nothing to me Now showing my friends My clipped wings Begging for their sympathy That they will let the past be And understand 16 year old me Doesn't want to be seen
I am damaged. A Little girl has seen things she never wanted to see. I spent time after trying to Reclaim the old me. Give me a reason Not to end All my relationships with men Before the age of 10 Because then, there was purity. Sweetness in the eye of she who see Men as a saftey net. And not as an open threat
I'm only sharing, out of necessity Because he shared everything with me A pass time that became blackmail To personal items on the paleness of my body
My brain keeps ping-ponging between He loves me He loves me not How can I stop? Attentions addicting Cocaine to the brain Of the beat up and lonley The 16 year old bird With only one melody, "I mean nothing in the eyes of society Because no one recognizes when there's grooming"
A fact that has been growing ever since My sense of self worth, My passion in life, My body, my secrets, my cries, All of it no longer mine
I sent that piece of myself away All to say, "I loved a man once. See how grown I am? He chose me over all the other little girls. There was passion in all that he touched He touched me- My heart I mean. He treated me like a woman And threatened me just the same."
You know there was pride In the way he cried I was "opening up." Like exposing my body Was something to be copied
And of course... Once was never enough And if I ever said no, God help the soul, He said he'd take it from me anyway Would travel states, Drive night and day, To claim and rape me
I was 16 And it was summer break
Of course when I explained The things he claimed Scared me, Suddenly- It was all a silly little fib.
Now you stare me in the eyes And explain to me How a glorified rape joke- Was funny
The terror it instilled In a still-growing teen And how how I laughed and sighed And agreed- It was funny.
Of course, it never really was
I wish I remember how it ended. I'd like to say I blew up And he surrendered And admitted to his Abuse of power- But.. no. I'm sure I just said, "I have to go" And never looked back At what I used to call home
I still live with the effect, The names he used to say, The way he'd make me behave Especially how he had trained my brain To think that shit Was normal.
But everyday I realize The same stupid thing: Nothing about my past Is ever going to change.
I can cry Scream Rearrange every dream Fix every seam- But even blue birds clip their wings, Occasionally
Though feathers regrow, And no scars can be seen, Now inside my golden cage- I can sing
submitted by Significant-Sock-450 to poetry_critics [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 LetsBeDnR Open Relationship 35m 27f

So, the lady and I have been together for 12 years (married 1). Around 4-5 years in, we decided to move in together. We lived an hour away from each other. We talked about just making sure to keep being as honest with each other, cuz now it's more important than ever. We even talked about having the most uncomfortable conversation is open. I said we should have an open relationship. But what I meant by open relationship is that we should be free to talk and do whatever we want within the guidelines of what a relationship is, without deceit and with honesty. I wasn't even thinking about the actual meaning of an open relationship. But there's where the uncomfortable conversation started. She's like "open relationship as in we can be with other people?" So, I said open relationship means we can definitely talk about these uncomfortable things and we can definitely have such thing but need ground rules. I don't think we should do it because we don't want each other or if we aren't stable. That would iust mean we're on our way out. If that were the case, why not just leave each other then? We talked about this for a few years, off and on. One day, we were alone in the house, just hanging out. Out of now where she said " think I'm ready". I said, 'for what?' Her ground rule was that she doesn't want to know. She doesn't want drama. Though We talk about guys and females we see and iust comment how hot or sexy they are openly, this one was different. She said she doesn't want to see nor know anything about the female, because she's still a woman and she doesn't want to feel like she's in competition with them. I told her that I would want to know everything. Every detail about her and her, no matter what. One day I asked if she's put herself in that situation in her mind. If she would be excited and or if she would feel shame or guilt after. And then to imagine me with someone else. Would she be ok with that. Cuz if she isn't, then we shouldn't do it. So now here we are 2023 and we still have that type of relationship. She's been with a couple of guys. One she actually did the dirty with and the other she just briefly dated. They know what was going on. The first one I was kinda jealous cuz it was the first time. The 2nd one I was but then i just was also kinda happy for her. I say kinda happy cuz I'm like "wait, I can do this too" I never looked. She didn't either on the 1st one. She was hit on and she gave the number. That's the one where nothing happened. The 2nd one she got on some app. Talked to the guy for a while. Dated a few times. They hung out and shit happened. Like SHIT HAPPENED As for me, I haven't. Cuz here's what I told her. It's kinda hard for me to tell someone "hey im in a relationship and she's ok for me to be with someone else. But, she doesn't want to know anything". That just sounds like I'm fuckin lying. But also, for me I don't feel like having to explain anything. Either females respect that or not. And the fact that I'm scared of devious females. One minute they're ok then another they're tryna ruin my life. It's happened and I have serious trauma from it. I have had a few close ones. One was an old old fling. She definitely understood the relationship. But at the end I didn't want to move forward cuz I didn't want any feelings to start coming back knowing our past was just as solid. And we were already good friends that took years to build again. One was an old friend. She asked me one day "so are you going to have that one last fling before you get married?" I said, I didn't know. And our relationship was solid. Never told her about the relationship cuz it's mine and the lady's. Not that I don't want to hear from my close friends and family. It's just that I don't need that type of judgment. It'll just piss me off. So this girl pretty much said "what about me? I've wanted you since high school. I don't think there's that feeling anymore. Told her I felt the same about her, Frbrother has been my best friend since 6th grade. As soon as I thought I wanted her I immediately kicked it from any other thought. She offered if I couldn't find anyone or if I wanted to. I thought almost a year. I just didn't go for it. I thought it was too close to home. The wife even told me after explaining why I haven't. She said "first of all don't tell me. I don't want to know. If you say your going out. Just say your going out. I don't wanna know... PERIOD. Also, lie to the bitch. Don't tell her your married. Don't tell her shit ." But for me I also want ground rules for the female that she should know her place. That I'm not there to stay. And I'm there to be friends but I'm also there for other things. So and you can see the open relationship I started talking about isn't the open relationship that happened. There was more out of it haha. In all honesty, when I mentioned open relationship. I really meant the freedom to be secure and honest with each other. We can talk and do what we want without fear of repercussions. As long as we don't cheat on each other. As long as we don't deceive each other. By that we mean don't start feeling something different and not express it.
With all that said (I know I may be all over the place…the weed is talking), does it make sense but also, how do I deal with my part of making sure it’s discreet without making the “FWB” not feel like I’m deceiving anyone? Cuz ladies, Yes, Guys are dramatic, but let’s be honest, you’re drama. :)
submitted by LetsBeDnR to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 Mom_Thoughts .

I miss her happiness.
I never knew I'd miss my babygirls personality when she got sick and just wasn't herself.
submitted by Mom_Thoughts to u/Mom_Thoughts [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:31 Simple_Gur_7851 Mother, no.

Mother, no.
I am the first blanked, and my partner is the second. His mom passed away tragically a couple of years ago. I didn’t pick up my mom’s calls. Wtf.
submitted by Simple_Gur_7851 to insaneparents [link] [comments]

2023.06.10 06:30 Mscharlita Rescued this sale oncidium

Rescued this sale oncidium
This was marked down and had no flowers so I decided to branch out and try a new type of orchid besides basic phals. It is a Heaven Scent Redolence and was so shabby when I brought her home but after months of care I was rewarded with all these beautiful and delicious chocolate smelling blooms. So proud and happy to have saved it!
submitted by Mscharlita to orchids [link] [comments]