Hey there! I (24F) just joined today, so very awesome to talk to you all! I need help coming up with a good rate per hour to send to NM. I am moving from MS to Georgia in the next month, and I am potentially starting this position at the end of July and staying until Oct when their au pair arrives. I have a lot of experience: I was a camp counselor, substitute teacher, baby sitting for all my teen years into college, and a full time nanny in Atlanta for 7 months before I moved to MS for a different job.
Sorry--I tend to ramble: she has 4 kids, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. There would be a lot of driving because it's metro atlanta (iykyk). I would be using their minivan most of the time to drive. The older kids are in 3 activities. The youngest and I would be spending a lot of time at home while the kids are at school, and when they get out its shuttling to activities & going to parks, the zoo, etc. Before their activities start toward the middle of August. Some weekends are required when they need help, but it won't be very consistent that they need me on weekends. The kids are not allowed much screentime at all, which I respect, so it'll be a lot of entertaining kids, and I am up for it.
I am thinking at least 20 dollars + overtime at least, but I don't know if that is unfair. Hours would be 8-7 M-F until school starts then 11-7 ish during the school year. If you think my rate is fair or too little or too much, let me know!! Welcoming all opinions.

I have no reason to be such an awkward person, I have a good family and many friends, or I did.
After graduation I moved away and lived alone for 8 months. I was a party kid in highschool, since 15 Ive been regularly smoking pot and drinking. When I first lived alone I stopped smoking and started drinking more. Nowadays, and since maybe February, I drink all day.
If im unemployed I wake up, drink, and watch Youtube or listen to music all day. I rarely blackout, Im just content to get less and less present all day. If I have a job I drink the night or morning before and right after, I act pathetic and quiet around almost anyone in a public setting. I shake and twitch constantly, I have the darkest eyebags you have ever seen.
I had a lot of insomnia when I lived alone, thats approved as has my diet since coming back to my hometown. My people skills have improved a bit as well and people think im funny at my new job but I’m calling in more and more. My manager is my high school friend and he has been very supportive, I’ve lied and said I have some sort of blood problem and hes bought it but I was supposed to work today and im not going to because im drinking.
A few nights ago I heard voices all around me criticizing me and I could hear my friends cheering for me to be arrested and wanting to beat me up and calling me a pussy and all sorts of shit and I hid in my bed, drunk and terrified and delusional. I called my friend twice confused and slurring and asking where he was because I could hear him outside. (This is the friend whos also my boss.)
He was in bed both times and I have never heard a human sound as concerned about me as he sounded responding to my call. He asked if I was ok and seemed genuinely disturbed.
I am doubting my reality, I am scared that whatever front I have to convince people im not a massive drunk is cracking.
I used to like rum, now I exclusively drink high ABV vodka and I go to the liquor store almost everyday. I get sick if I manage to not drink for a day. I just nurse on vodka all fucking day.
Im scared I have wetbrain, Im scared that im going to hear voices again, im scared that my friends will give up on me because I just get more cold, awkward, and rigid every single day.
So thats off my chest i guess lol idk what im asking for.

PART 1 — The King’s Problem
The King did not know empathy.
If he saw somebody in pain, he felt nothing. If he watched a child cry, he felt nothing. And if he saw an injured bird on the road, he would press the sole of his boot on top of it without a second thought.
This was just as he governed.
The people lacked food, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the food he would ever need.
The people lacked medicine, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the medicine he would ever need.
The people lacked education, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the books and scholars he would ever need.
In his palace built entirely of solid gold, he was the most powerful King in all the land.
But the King had a problem. One thorn in his side. One little nuisance that kept him awake at night.
From nowhere, a man had appeared. His name: Rohe
Rohe spoke atop a platform in the streets to the people. He spoke of the unjust nature of The King’s rule, of the palace made of solid gold and the endless luxuries stored within it.
Rohe blamed the King for the hunger the people had suffered. And he blamed the King for the deaths of brothers, sisters, children, mothers and fathers due to the lack of medicine.
And finally, Rohe told the people to rise up against the King, storm the palace of solid gold and take back control of their food, their medicine and their land.
Worst of all, to the King’s terror, the people had begun to support Rohe. In the streets, Rohe would draw thousands of supporters. “Freedom for the people” they would chant in unison.
The King was utterly furious. How dare these low-born peasants chant such things. How dare these stupid, ignorant and inferior men even consider stealing his rightfully owned riches.
Something had to be done.
Not knowing what to do, he spoke to his 3 most trusted advisors.
The first advisor suggested he have Rohe killed.
The second advisor suggested he have Rohe thrown in jail.
The third advisor, the most cunning and mischievous of the 3, disapproved of the plans of the first 2 advisors. Killing him or throwing him in jail, he explained, would encourage the crowds still further.
Instead, he suggested something different entirely. He suggested they turn the people against Rohe.
“How?” asked the King curiously. “How can we turn the people against him”?
The third advisor adjusted the large, rounded glasses that lay on top his big, crooked nose and grew a mischievous smile. “Why the newspapers, of course.”
PART 2 — The Third Advisor
The lands had hundreds of different newspapers, but only 3 main ones, which were by far the most widely read.
The people believed these newspapers to be run by well-meaning people who aimed to tell them honestly of the goings-on throughout the world.
The truth was different.
While it was made to appear that these newspaper were run independently, they were in fact controlled by the King himself. Whenever the King needed, he could control everything that was written inside one of the 3 main newspapers.
The King granted the cunning third advisor the task of turning the people against Rohe. And so, the third advisor began his research:
To his dismay, he found Rohe to be perfect. A true hero.
Through his research, he discovered several things about Rohe:
- He had a loving wife and two young children.
- He had grown up poor and had managed to create a little bit of wealth through hard work on his farm.
- He was strong, with big, bulging muscles and a handsome face.
- On his farm worked 10 white men and 2 black men, all of whom he treated with great kindness and respect.
- He was rarely at home with his family. He was always working, helping at the local school or in the streets doing his speeches.
Upon finishing his research, a crooked smile crept upon the face of the third advisor. He adjusted his spectacles and muttered to himself.
“This is all I need…”
PART 3 — The Article
Rohe — The People’s Hero Or Attention Seeking Conspiracy Theorist?
Rising from an obscure background, Rohe the so-called “Hero” has ballooned in popularity in recent months. Everywhere he goes, commotion follows; drawing crowds of thousands of worshipping fans who hang on every word he says.
He has been reported bellowing his ideology in Lockwood, Brimshore, Farmsdale and even as far as Watershire. It seems as though Rohe is a mastermind at drawing the attention of others. Where does this attention go? Well, to himself of course. With his handsome dark hair and muscular physique, public image is seemingly the fuel that Mr Rohe feeds on. ‘
“He’s come from God! He’s like God himself!” exclaimed one of his fanatic supporters as we interviewed them.
Mr Rohe’s main message seems to be against the King himself; spouting obscure claims such as “The King is keeping all the food for himself while the people starve!”, he cried into a crowd in Lockwood last week. Of course, this isn’t a new line of thought, with other such violent figures as “John the Terrorist” and the now proven liar and fraud Christopher Whittle.
Experts tend to agree that the food hardship some are currently facing is due to a series of unfortunately poor harvests as well as changing whether conditions. We asked the lead food resource advisor in the kingdom for his opinion on the matter. “We’ve heard this all before” he said while holding back a laugh, “Mr Rohe is just parroting the same old conspiracy theories we hear every year”.
While Mr Rohe screams non-stop of the riches of others, his own wealth has been quietly building. Donations from his fanatic supporters have allowed him to purchase a second piece of farmland on top his already wealthy estate. Unsurprisingly, his workforce consists of almost entirely white men with a mere handful of coloured workers throughout his farms.
We travelled to Mr Rohe’s farm and spoke with his wife, who told us “We as almost never see him! He’s constantly on the road. He pops by to see the kids and check on the farm every week or so”. It seems as though it’s difficult to pay close attention to your family when you’re so busy drawing attention to yourself in the streets.
Mr Rohe’s fans seem to admire him deeply, but such adoration can turn nasty. His most extreme supporters have abused, harassed and on one occasion physically assaulted Mr Rohe’s critics. “His fans are relentless”, says well-known critic Johnathon Adams. “The harass me day and night and have even threatened to attack me.
While Mr Rohe does not endorse such violent behaviour, he does not exactly deter it either. He describes the King as “evil” and “corrupt” and once stated that “sometimes the power of the fist is necessary”.
Mr Rohe’s rhetoric seems to attract all kinds of unsavory characters; the aforementioned “Jack the Terrorist” as well as well-known woman beater Joseph Smith have both stated their support for Mr Rohe.
In the end, the key to Mr Rohe’s appeal is also his greatest weakness. He wants to be the man who knows everything and can explain everything. But his arguments are riddled with conspiracy theories and crude distortions of the truth.
Even so, his critics will have a tough time. Mr Rohe’s wave of popularity is unlikely to come crashing down any time soon.
PART 4
A year had passed, and over the months the third advisor wrote countless similar articles and published them in the 3 main newspapers.
To his and the King’s delight, their plan had worked flawlessly.
Support for Mr Rohe began to wane. Many began to accuse Mr Rohe as being a racist. Others claimed he was mistreating his wife. Most began to be see Mr Rohe as somebody not to be taken seriously.
The people started feeling a sense of distrust and dislike towards Mr Rohe deep in their stomachs. They didn’t know exactly why they felt this way, but felt it they did.
Something had switched inside their minds. They began to see everything Mr Rohe did through a negative lens. His previously heroic speeches now seemed shrill and childish. His impressive physique and sharp jaw now seemed vain and self-centred. And his claims about The King and what was really inside his palace made of solid gold now had doubt cast upon them. Some still believed Mr Rohe, some thought him to be exaggerating, most simply threw their hands up in confusion and forgot all about it.
When Mr Rohe made a speech on the streets, many rolled their eyes at his crazy supporters. And with growing frequency, an opposing group of protesters would appear and shout over him. They made claims that Mr Rohe was a racist, and they made jokes about the 2 farms Mr Rohe owned.
The King’s problem had been solved.
The third advisor became one of the King’s closest confidantes and was allowed access to many of the luxuries inside the palace: food, women and anything else he could possibly dream of.
As for the people, their lives steadily got worse and worse. Their food supplies dwindled, medicine became rare to find and the people became sadder, more depressed and more desperate. Despite this, most accepted their situation as “the way life is”, while others blamed God for their misfortune.
One day, another man began to make speeches on the streets against the King. His name: Varios. The People began to call him their “Savior”.
The King passed his pen over to the third advisor. “Ready?”
The third advisor grew a wicked grin.
“Of course”

Hi all, TL:DR at bottom. For the first time in my life, I'm thinking of breaking off my relationship with my boyfriend of 12 years. We've been together since highschool, hes been my one and only this entire time. We've built a life together, a house, a dog, cats. My entire adult life has been spent with him. But I'm now not so sure if there's a future for us. We've always had problems. Minor spats here and there, but a big one that's been a point of contention since about 3 years in has been the intimacy. I was just finishing University and we had moved to a new city to be closer to my school and closer to his work. This was hard for him even if it benefitted him because it distanced him from his friends, which he had a real hard time with. This resulted in him using nearly all his free time taking the bus back to hang out with his friends. It was rare he'd be at home with me at all and when he was, he was so hungover from the nights previous with his friends that he couldn't do anything outside the apartment. When I got my license and a car, it became him begging me to drive him, "I'll get home sooner to see you" he'd say, which was true... The bus would take him near 3 hours while me driving him was only 40 minutes. But weekend after weekend of this left me feeling uninterested in having sex, and it dipped to about once a week, where it now still is. We've had loads of arguments regarding my sex drive being low, and how he's missing the connection of being with me physically. I've expressed that I feel like he doesn't make time for me other than to have sex, which always blows up into a big fight about how I don't realize how hard he works to keep this relationship going and how hard to tries to make me happy. Which is mostly true, he busts his ass at work and generally works hard. But I don't personally see the effort in regards to the missing emotional intimacy. This issue pops up periodically, maybe two or three big blowouts about it a year. All this to say, I'm not perfect. Not even close. I've had a terribly hard time being assertive and direct about how I feel which is detrimental to the relationship. I have depressive episodes which makes me a bummer to be around, I often let things fester to the boiling point because I fear confrontation. All this makes me far more agreeable to things I shouldn't be which no doubt hasn't been easy for him to navigate.
Honestly, I started having these doubts years ago. But I wanted to work on them and expected this to get better, especially as I had really started vocalizing my qualms but it seems to have only made things worse. But looking back there were a lot of... Inappropriate things I shouldn't have tolerated but was too young and naive to really act on, such as extreme jealous (male friend touched my hand while hiking to help me up a steep ridge, and he went off the handle saying he doesn't trust me,) he was oblivious to when I developed anorexia, he kept asking if I was gay because I would say no to sex, up until today during our not-enough-intimacy fights. It came to the point where I've been agreeing to sex reluctantly and have been getting more or less no sexual pleasure from it for years to keep the peace while I try to get us to work on my issues,, which I think he knows since there's no foreplay, and he knows I don't usually orgasm during it. Today, I had run out for a couple hours with the puppy to do some errands and chores and had just gotten home. I hadn't yet eaten so I was preparing myself something to eat. He asks if I'd like to have sex, to which I say I'm not feeling it, and I'm making lunch. He suggested afterwards, which I wasn't keen on either. So instead he asked if he could touch me while he gets off, which would mean delaying me making food so again I said no. This launched our trip/quazi-annual fight about lack of intimacy. I tried to explain to him that I need to feel more effort and emotional connection from him to be more open to having more sex. I want to feel important and valued, and like he wants to do things with me outside of watching tv. He proceeded to get really mad and defensive because he does put in effort in the form of finances and working on better his job prospects so we can have a better life. (For context, he makes about the same amount as I do yearly, just so no one assumes there's a breadwinner in this circumstance). It divolved into him angry and upset because he felt I wasn't listening to him, and that I'm basically asking him to forfeit one of the things he likes to do in his very small window of leisure time in order to satisfy me. (Which yes he does have a very narrow window of time, he works out from 8-10, his schedule has him working usually 10-7 WFH, and then he usually has some sort of meal prep which would take him from 7-9, if no meal prep then he'd play bass or read work-related things to improve his employable skills, which leaves me from 9-10 for basically TV). It got relatively heated, not yelling or insulting, on topic but both emotional and upset. I suggested that perhaps every second Saturday, we do a date night. We would alternate who plans the date, and we would each plan a date that we think the other would enjoy. He didn't like that idea at all. Instead he wants me to decide what I want to do as a date, plan it, and then ask if he wants to go. He said if I lead by example then he'll get a better understanding of what's expected and be able to do the same. My problem comes from the fact that this isn't a new suggestion, and this isn't the first conversation we've had about it. And I've done that But nothing comes of it and the cycle repeats. At this point, I'm nearly 30. I feel lonely in my own house, and I'm not sure where to go from here. We are tied together in every way, with the house only being owned by us under a year, three pets under 3, all our assets are together, we've only really dated each other... The implications of even considering breaking things off is daunting and life changing, especially since we live in a HCOL area so we'd both suffer tremendously. But I also can't help but think I'm overreacting to something minor and that it'd be a waste to just...throw this all away. I have no frame of reference for whether or not this is pretty normal stuff, and don't really have anyone in my life I can talk to about this.
So... I guess I wanted to know from others in similar positions what youve done and how it's worked out. Please be as blunt with me as possible. If what I've written screams that I'm the problem and that I need to work on xyz, please say so. If I'm the problem I want to work on it and do better.
Sorry for the wall of text but it felt really good to articulate my thoughts as I've not really done it in this much detail ever.
TL:DR: Boyfriend doesn't make time for me so I don't feel the intimate connection I require to be more sexually intimate. At what point is it no longer worth continuing the relationship?

As usual, before a big final, I like to get a little behind the scenes insight. Last time, I got up close and personal with the players, but as a result, a restraining order was issued, so this time, I leveled up and installed some cameras in their hotel rooms. This will give us a first-hand look at their prep for the finals.

Casp-o-vision :

Sunday, June 11th. The clock strikes 6:00AM. Norwegian music begins playing. Casper’s eyes open. “Ahhh Kongesangan,” thinks Casper, “the only choice for brushing one’s teeth”. Casper begins brushing. He is already in the bathroom, where he sleeps standing up to maximize efficiency. He brushes the right side efficiently, and does the best he can on the other. Though these teeth are mainly defensive, they are constantly improving. Casper turns to his coaches, who are sitting in the tub watching him brush. They nod and make fists, the only coaching he has ever received from them. He nods and makes a fist as well. The main coach, whose name he has never learned, hands him a plate of Fårikål, and he begins eating. “Shouldn’t I have eaten this before I brushed my teeth?” he asks, but perhaps the storyteller, like Casper’s team, did not think this through. Still though, Google is very informative. “Boy, I sure do love Oslo,” muses Casper. “And fjords.” Wow, Casper is ready for Roland Garros.

Djokocam :

Sunday June 11th. The clock strikes 6:00AM. Norwegian music begins playing. “Perhaps we should not have been roommates” thinks Novak, as he looks across the room to Casper’s bed. But Casper is not there. Djokovic stretches his impervious to cramps body. He is not in a bed, but gently relaxing on a bed of moss, which grew when he summoned it with warrior one. He eases slowly into chair pose, and a chair appears. Goran quickly sits in it. “Look at my cool new shades!” says Goran. “Very nice, Goran,” says Novak, as he closes his eyes to begin meditating. “You think we can win, Novak?” asks Goran, while swinging his legs excitedly in the chair. “Yes, Goran,” answers Novak. “Can you believe they eat snails here?” asks Goran, while pretending his hand is an airplane. “Yes, Goran,” answers Novak. “Would you ever eat a snail?” asks Goran, while pretending he is an airplane. “Yes, Goran,” answers Novak. “Wow,” says Goran. His friend Novak is so cool.
Casper emerges from the bathroom, and Djokovic heads in. There are crumbs in the sink, and Ruud’s team shake their fists and nod at him as he begins combing his hair. Novak shakes his head. He is ready for Roland Garros.

Men’s Singles Final :

There is something about Casper Ruud’s game that makes it seem like he is not doing anything special. He is ultra-consistent, and he makes the right choices in almost every situation, but his disciplined approach can make a player like Zverev or Rublev seem like they are on another level. Ruud has made two Grand Slam finals already (both last season), but was summarily written off before they began, suffering defeat at the hands of Carlos Alcaraz at the US Open, and Rafael Nadal at Roland Garros. Here again, he is being given very slim chances by most people. When you do everything right (by the book), there is a sense that you become predictable, and the greats of the game have excellent situational awareness. If they can move early to your shots, you’re not going to get many errors from them. It makes this a very uphill battle for him, because Novak Djokovic is a player that is unlikely to be rattled by the classic patterns and approaches to the game, and is one of the most consistent players the tour has ever seen. Once he gets in a rhythm, you’re playing a tennis game set to expert, so Casper will need to elevate his aggression here.
Ruud will thankfully be fresh for the finals, but after watching the Alcaraz demise it’s hard to gauge how long that will last. Him being a bit older does give him a bit more stamina and experience, and he had a fairly quick match against Zverev. He’s also done this before, so I think physically he is ready to go 5 sets. Thinking, though, isn’t it always the cause of our blunders. Zverev looked competitive in parts of their match, but he is not at the top level of the game yet. His ceiling is, but where does his ceiling lurk? Ruud is nearly robotic out there. You know he is going to execute and move the ball well and his defensive skills are solid enough to make his opponent play several shots to win a point. It’s the discipline he has that allows him to do this regardless of the stage and the opponent. Zverev, on the other hand, is very much thinking out there. When he has a setup, it’s very up in the air what he should do. He’s often creating angles and situations that he is only going to play 1-2 of per match, and it leads to errors as he second-guesses and hesitates on shots (especially rough in choosing when and when not to come to net). In truth, he could have wound up deep in the match against Casper, but when Zverev had control or time, he made a lot of unforced errors trying to crack Ruud’s defenses. Despite having a ton of experience on tour, Zverev has not really ironed out his game and since returning from injury, he hasn’t really dealt with a match where he had to play hard every point in order to win. The ability is there, but the repetition of effort is not.
Speaking of repetition of effort, it should be noted what a great adjustment Djokovic made in his semifinal match. He is very frequently a slow starter on clay, but he came out and looked to match Alcaraz’s aggression from the start. It was a very “I’m not going to miss and I want you to know that” approach, and digging in in this manner started to forced Alcaraz to come up with more and more ambitious attempts. They both have a lot of heat on their shots, but Alcaraz is certainly the one swinging harder on the average ball. He started to make errors, but it looked to me like he would wear down Djokovic’s defenses with the onslaught. There have been a number of matches this tournament where the first couple games were furiously played, and eventually one player settled into their role as a defender, or folded up and forced offense until they lost. This didn’t feel like the case here, as both of these players can legitimately expect to hit a high percentage of their shots no matter what style they proceed with. A good example is how a post-cramp, immobile and defeated Alcaraz was able to guide winners off Djokovic’s serve. Not a strategy to win the match, but something that he rarely uses in match-play yet was instantly able to do.
After losing the first set, I still like Alcaraz’s chances. It had become the best type of ATP match, one where the player who is serving doesn’t just automatically win. The great big 3 matchups featured so many breaks and yet those breaks weren’t huge cracks or fails at all, it was just that at the highest level, players can play defense and offense from everywhere on the court. They exchanged breaks late in the 2nd set, and it seemed like Alcaraz’s aggression was finally mentally wearing Djokovic down. Early in the third though, disaster struck in the way that it always seems to when a phenom plays Djokovic at a major. Carlos Alcaraz cramped. Spectacularly. His hand cramped, his calf cramped, and he looked like Medusa slid in his DMs for a moment. Big credit to Djokovic for being bigger than the moment, and coming across the net to express concern and help Alcaraz to his chair. Cramping is something that affects a lot of players on tour, but it was pretty unexpected from Alcaraz. His physical strength is off the charts, and he trains extremely hard. If some combination of nerves and over-exertion really caused this, then it’s a by-product of Djokovic being willing to go toe-to-toe with him right from the start of the match.
There are great nutritionists working on the tour, but once you actually go full-cramp, it is nearly impossible to continue playing tennis. The muscle is in pain, and doesn’t want to fully flex even if you do. In short, you’re fatigued, in pain, and weak. Alcaraz forfeited the game so he could get treatment, but with 2 full sets left against the guy who is leading the GOAT debate currently (and competing against off-tour opponents), you’re pretty much finished. Brave of Alcaraz to finish out the match, and I had some hope that the kid would go full-tank and hydrate to recover for a 4th, but it appeared the damage was irreversible. He stood in on some returns, and while this means that any poor returns leave your court position too shallow to cover both wings of the court, he did show a pretty good ability to utilize this tactic. I’d love to see him do more of this in the future, as the best returners are pretty much hugging the baseline and you need this to win with minimized effort on hardcourt and grass. I’d also add, his deep return position was allowing Djokovic to serve and volley an awful lot, and Novak really was the one scoring off the dropshot in the non-cramp sets so Alcaraz will need to work on some other strategies. A good restful win for Djokovic, and a new wrinkle to the “how high will Alcaraz rise” debate. I don’t think too many people were really expecting cramps (to my knowledge it’s the first time he’s dealt with that on tour), and he had the momentum before they occurred.
One of the best things about majors is how long the players are out there. It allows for so many deviations in strategy and planning. Dumping sets to conserve energy, planning to sprint early then take a set off, and changes in strategy (holding back a bit of pace on serves early or playing frequent dropshots to take your opponents legs) can be really effective. Djokovic got the benefit of an interesting result here. It seemed like his defense was good enough to keep Alcaraz at bay but he wasn’t able to counter-punch. If this was by design, kudos to him and his team for allowing Alcaraz to punch himself out. If it wasn’t, it has at a minimum inspired other players to dig in on defense against Carlos now that they’ve seen the gas tank actually on E, which is tremendous for the tour since we’ve seen a few top guys fold against him already. The names on the trophies are less important than creating an environment where these guys can compete at their freest, because the sport won’t continue to grow unless the product is visibly enticing to the non-tennis public.
Djokovic Ruud should be a great match, the same way Swiatek Muchova was today. Ruud has yet to win a set against Djokovic in his career, but almost every single set has been confined to a single break of serve. That’s largely what I expect here. Ruud is good enough to compete with Djokovic for 75% of the match. Similar to the CA/ND situation that caused the cramps, Ruud is good enough to play Djokovic on even terms, but not really able to get out of trouble once he’s in it. Since Djokovic’s measured approach won’t wear himself out like Alcaraz’s did, this means a long match, with a vaguely assured result. This is good for Ruud for a few reasons. One, he won’t be distracted very often. When you’re going uphill but are a great competitor like Ruud, you don’t get caught up in the “what ifs” of an L or fret changes in the scoreline, you just keep an eye on how you’re doing out there. Trying different approaches, working on the spots you’re losing ground in, and communicating with your box constructively rather than complaining are useful, and keep you in the present moment. That’s a good place to stay for Casper here, because the crowd is very likely to get behind him. Djokovic is a beloved champion, but fans want to see a long match. If Ruud was considered an even contender here, he could almost enter villain territory, as fans would not want to see a great champion dethroned. Since he’s publicly regarded as a plucky underdog, he’ll have plenty of support.
Tennis-wise, the problem here is simple. Djokovic has the best backhand in tennis, and Ruud fights his off. He can create some great angles with it, and hits passes fairly well, but it’s a safe target for Djokovic which means the majority of shots are going to go there. We all saw how devastating a weapon the dropshot and forehand inside-in became for Alcaraz when Tsitsipas attempted to camp in his backhand corner, and I fear that Ruud will have similar issues in this match. This is doubly tricky because Djokovic’s backhand dropshots are much better and much more frequently attempted down the line. Ruud served well against Zverev, but he went out wide from the duece court a lot and Zverev never really punished him for it. Djokovic ropes these shots cross-court very well and he’s good at picking a few spots to up the aggression. If Casper is forced to abandon this serve, it’s a problem because it’s generally the best way to ensure that his second shot is a forehand. He plays well behind the pattern, but great returners (and great teams hello Goran) are likely to notice any significant lean on a particular serve. The odds at -450 indicate that Ruud will be competitive (because basically everyone watching is looking to bet on Djokovic at this point), but this would be the most surprising result that has occurred in tennis in a very long time. I think Ruud wins the same set via steady play and heavy hitting that Khachanov did, but it’s hard to see Djokovic struggling with patterns and opponents that he has already figured out. Djokovic in 4.

I can't wait til I graduate so I can go on to hate my job like everyone else.
I have a teacher who starts class late, never forgets to complain to the class about being tired, and then never misses the chance to end class a half hour early. Every single class except the one right before an exam (that lecture is crammed to the last minute). So if there are 12 weeks of class that she ends early, we are basically missing 5 hours of potential lecture time.
I cannot stress enough how frustrating it is to not take a salary and pay for a class, only to hear teachers complaining about the jobs they get paid to do. Then hear her make up some bullshit about "that's enough learning for today" so she can end her class early, and no one complains because school is always seen as a burden.
The teacher then wants to move the final exam earlier than scheduled to the week before finals, so we can "get this exam out of the way and focus on other exams". I guess I'm the only one who sees that moving the exam a week earlier is shaving off a week to study. She obviously just wants the week off to chill. It makes no sense to me because the other exams we are studying for have content that is similar to this class (this is theory and the other class is skills lab, so they have tons of overlapping material).
I don't even know anymore. I think I'm just really terribly sick of being in school and losing the will to learn.

​
PART 1 — The King’s Problem
The King did not know empathy.
If he saw somebody in pain, he felt nothing. If he watched a child cry, he felt nothing. And if he saw an injured bird on the road, he would press the sole of his boot on top of it without a second thought.
This was just as he governed.
The people lacked food, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the food he would ever need.
The people lacked medicine, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the medicine he would ever need.
The people lacked education, yet the King felt nothing. And did nothing. For in his palace, he had all the books and scholars he would ever need.
In his palace built entirely of solid gold, he was the most powerful King in all the land.
But the King had a problem. One thorn in his side. One little nuisance that kept him awake at night.
From nowhere, a man had appeared. His name: Rohe
Rohe spoke atop a platform in the streets to the people. He spoke of the unjust nature of The King’s rule, of the palace made of solid gold and the endless luxuries stored within it.
Rohe blamed the King for the hunger the people had suffered. And he blamed the King for the deaths of brothers, sisters, children, mothers and fathers due to the lack of medicine.
And finally, Rohe told the people to rise up against the King, storm the palace of solid gold and take back control of their food, their medicine and their land.
Worst of all, to the King’s terror, the people had begun to support Rohe. In the streets, Rohe would draw thousands of supporters. “Freedom for the people” they would chant in unison.
The King was utterly furious. How dare these low-born peasants chant such things. How dare these stupid, ignorant and inferior men even consider stealing his rightfully owned riches.
Something had to be done.
Not knowing what to do, he spoke to his 3 most trusted advisors.
The first advisor suggested he have Rohe killed.
The second advisor suggested he have Rohe thrown in jail.
The third advisor, the most cunning and mischievous of the 3, disapproved of the plans of the first 2 advisors. Killing him or throwing him in jail, he explained, would encourage the crowds still further.
Instead, he suggested something different entirely. He suggested they turn the people against Rohe.
“How?” asked the King curiously. “How can we turn the people against him”?
The third advisor adjusted the large, rounded glasses that lay on top his big, crooked nose and grew a mischievous smile. “Why the newspapers, of course.”
PART 2 — The Third Advisor
The lands had hundreds of different newspapers, but only 3 main ones, which were by far the most widely read.
The people believed these newspapers to be run by well-meaning people who aimed to tell them honestly of the goings-on throughout the world.
The truth was different.
While it was made to appear that these newspaper were run independently, they were in fact controlled by the King himself. Whenever the King needed, he could control everything that was written inside one of the 3 main newspapers.
The King granted the cunning third advisor the task of turning the people against Rohe. And so, the third advisor began his research:
To his dismay, he found Rohe to be perfect. A true hero.
Through his research, he discovered several things about Rohe:
- He had a loving wife and two young children.
- He had grown up poor and had managed to create a little bit of wealth through hard work on his farm.
- He was strong, with big, bulging muscles and a handsome face.
- On his farm worked 10 white men and 2 black men, all of whom he treated with great kindness and respect.
- He was rarely at home with his family. He was always working, helping at the local school or in the streets doing his speeches.
Upon finishing his research, a crooked smile crept upon the face of the third advisor. He adjusted his spectacles and muttered to himself.
“This is all I need…”
PART 3 — The Article
Rohe — The People’s Hero Or Attention Seeking Conspiracy Theorist?
Rising from an obscure background, Rohe the so-called “Hero” has ballooned in popularity in recent months. Everywhere he goes, commotion follows; drawing crowds of thousands of worshipping fans who hang on every word he says.
He has been reported bellowing his ideology in Lockwood, Brimshore, Farmsdale and even as far as Watershire. It seems as though Rohe is a mastermind at drawing the attention of others. Where does this attention go? Well, to himself of course. With his handsome dark hair and muscular physique, public image is seemingly the fuel that Mr Rohe feeds on. ‘
“He’s come from God! He’s like God himself!” exclaimed one of his fanatic supporters as we interviewed them.
Mr Rohe’s main message seems to be against the King himself; spouting obscure claims such as “The King is keeping all the food for himself while the people starve!”, he cried into a crowd in Lockwood last week. Of course, this isn’t a new line of thought, with other such violent figures as “John the Terrorist” and the now proven liar and fraud Christopher Whittle.
Experts tend to agree that the food hardship some are currently facing is due to a series of unfortunately poor harvests as well as changing whether conditions. We asked the lead food resource advisor in the kingdom for his opinion on the matter. “We’ve heard this all before” he said while holding back a laugh, “Mr Rohe is just parroting the same old conspiracy theories we hear every year”.
While Mr Rohe screams non-stop of the riches of others, his own wealth has been quietly building. Donations from his fanatic supporters have allowed him to purchase a second piece of farmland on top his already wealthy estate. Unsurprisingly, his workforce consists of almost entirely white men with a mere handful of coloured workers throughout his farms.
We travelled to Mr Rohe’s farm and spoke with his wife, who told us “We as almost never see him! He’s constantly on the road. He pops by to see the kids and check on the farm every week or so”. It seems as though it’s difficult to pay close attention to your family when you’re so busy drawing attention to yourself in the streets.
Mr Rohe’s fans seem to admire him deeply, but such adoration can turn nasty. His most extreme supporters have abused, harassed and on one occasion physically assaulted Mr Rohe’s critics. “His fans are relentless”, says well-known critic Johnathon Adams. “The harass me day and night and have even threatened to attack me.
While Mr Rohe does not endorse such violent behaviour, he does not exactly deter it either. He describes the King as “evil” and “corrupt” and once stated that “sometimes the power of the fist is necessary”.
Mr Rohe’s rhetoric seems to attract all kinds of unsavory characters; the aforementioned “Jack the Terrorist” as well as well-known woman beater Joseph Smith have both stated their support for Mr Rohe.
In the end, the key to Mr Rohe’s appeal is also his greatest weakness. He wants to be the man who knows everything and can explain everything. But his arguments are riddled with conspiracy theories and crude distortions of the truth.
Even so, his critics will have a tough time. Mr Rohe’s wave of popularity is unlikely to come crashing down any time soon.
PART 4
A year had passed, and over the months the third advisor wrote countless similar articles and published them in the 3 main newspapers.
To his and the King’s delight, their plan had worked flawlessly.
Support for Mr Rohe began to wane. Many began to accuse Mr Rohe as being a racist. Others claimed he was mistreating his wife. Most began to be see Mr Rohe as somebody not to be taken seriously.
The people started feeling a sense of distrust and dislike towards Mr Rohe deep in their stomachs. They didn’t know exactly why they felt this way, but felt it they did.
Something had switched inside their minds. They began to see everything Mr Rohe did through a negative lens. His previously heroic speeches now seemed shrill and childish. His impressive physique and sharp jaw now seemed vain and self-centred. And his claims about The King and what was really inside his palace made of solid gold now had doubt cast upon them. Some still believed Mr Rohe, some thought him to be exaggerating, most simply threw their hands up in confusion and forgot all about it.
When Mr Rohe made a speech on the streets, many rolled their eyes at his crazy supporters. And with growing frequency, an opposing group of protesters would appear and shout over him. They made claims that Mr Rohe was a racist, and they made jokes about the 2 farms Mr Rohe owned.
The King’s problem had been solved.
The third advisor became one of the King’s closest confidantes and was allowed access to many of the luxuries inside the palace: food, women and anything else he could possibly dream of.
As for the people, their lives steadily got worse and worse. Their food supplies dwindled, medicine became rare to find and the people became sadder, more depressed and more desperate. Despite this, most accepted their situation as “the way life is”, while others blamed God for their misfortune.
One day, another man began to make speeches on the streets against the King. His name: Varios. The People began to call him their “Savior”.
The King passed his pen over to the third advisor. “Ready?”
The third advisor grew a wicked grin.
“Of course”

I used to be so smart. Good grades in school, honor classes. I used to love playing video games, all day with no problems at all. Now look at me. 23 addicted to pills. I just had a child and I know I need to stop but it’s so hard. When I’m sober everything is boring. I can’t even sit down and watch t.v like I used too. I been broke consistently for the past 2 years. I lie, I steal all for a fix. I’m just a fuck up. My whole family looks at me like a crack head. I’m tired of life. I just started a good ass job but is on the verge of losing it because I keep missing days. I spend all my money on pills, I can’t even make it to work today. I’m just tired. I want to get clean I really do but it’s so hard.

TL;DR: How would Sports, Fiction writing / Comics, and Music look in something like Roses, Tulips and Liberty?
Ok so, I was wondering more about small-time cultural aspects, more specifically sports, hobbies and other activities that would probably take off to industry-level more so between 1920 and onwards, especially in how it could define national pride and identity going into the Silent War.
Aspects like this had been expounded upon in various installments of the Atlas Altera project, but I was wondering about how north-american sports would be influenced, and propagated around the world, by a divergence as early as 1656.
I imagine Lacrosse would have a high popularity, perhaps under a more indigenous-sounding or dutch-sounding name, as the Iroquois have a far more significant historical and cultural impact upon the Dutch world, especially then upon New Netherlands and Tussenland. Would the sport propegate to some British colonies through Virginia? Would it become as prominent as any of the substrates of Association Football (Rugby, American Football, Football/Soccer, Gaelic Football, et cetera) that may come to develop? Hockey wouldn't exist without Canada (1875), so they're out of the question, but I imagine some sport played on ice would develop under the influence of the French, Amerikaens, or New-English. I have no doubt that there are versions of a football sport that could come to standardize and become prominent, but certainly not in the same ways. In 1602 there is a record of "hurling", which is pretty close to how modern American football is described.
Considering the idea of 'association football' wouldn't come to exist for another two centuries, would it even be a thing at all? would a football association come to standardize these ball-game rules in any capacity, even in places other than England? Obviously Olympic-style games would exist as well. A whole bunch of other sports as we know it wouldn't exist as well. Basketball wouldn't exist (1861), Volleyball (1895), Hockey as stated before, Bowling (~1905), Competitive Skiing (~1800s), et cetera.
Sports that did exist with clear and universal ground rules around the time of the point of divergence of RTL included Cricket, Tennis, Curling, Golf, Horse-Racing, Archery, and of course Lacrosse as stated previously. Another sport that is not often talked about, but mentioned within the Atlas Altera project as stated before, is the Mesoamerican Ball Game, known in modern Mexico as Pok-a-Tok and/or Ulama. Perhaps, something could be done with a nationally-advertised sport in RTL's Mexican Empire to become a center of Mexican pride, and maybe associations of the sport in other countries such as the AFS, Costa Rica, Peru, Colombia and Opdamsland start to gain traction?
Competitive Archery is also incredibly ancient, so I imagine hundreds of nations could eventually create archery associations? Britain, Ireland, Tussenland (especially Irokeesenland) and Opdamsland would be all over it, I imagine. I imagine there'd be different associations for different kinds of bows, to keep English Longbowman traditions alive in some small social circles. Meanwhile, I imagine there'd be more niche derivatives such as the Corean Recurve or the Penobscot Bow which could have their own association circles or fan clubs. Could other Olympic-style sports gain smaller, separate followings? I could imagine Discus or becoming popular in some places. Some African sports could even gain prominence thanks to colonialism, such as Hama, also known as Nguni Stick-Fighting, which I could see gaining traction in Cape, Natal, and some of the other southern-African countries, even with their own associations. Maybe it'd stay a lot smaller and niche because of it's cultural significance..? who knows. Martial Arts, of course, would be all over the place. Especially Tae Kwon Do, within some Dutch circles I imagine, due to the Dutch's earlier connections to Corea. Would it spread to the Asian-Amerikaener and Asian-Mexican communities? Ngolo/Capoeira could also become popular amongst African-descended communities in the regions encompassing irl Brazil, both in terms of competitive dance and as a martial sport.
Beyond sports, another school of thought I wanted to explore were the arts. More specifically, comic books. Comic-style cartoons have existed since forever, but the modern ideas of the comic book, with detective stories, comedic teen dramas, and later superheroes, started in the 1910s and 1920s. Going into World War 2, Super Man and Captain America even became somewhat of propaganda tools, especially in terms of the European front. Would the Japanese arts take off in this way in this universe as well, with Manga becoming it's own special comic-book subgenre?
What would early Superheroes as a concept in RTL look like? Would there be a universally powerful paragon like Superman, perhaps under a different appearance? What country or community would be responsible for such a concept becoming popular? What kind of heroes would the industry produce for avid readers and fans, and would they even become propaganda tools used in RTL's Great War and Silent War? would Russia invent some of their own heroes as part of their National-Republican rhetoric?
IRL, the very first superhero was known as The Phantom, published in 1936 in his own comic run. Later you had Timely Comics Magazine, and there you had stories like Captain America, Human Torch, Namor, Jack Frost, et cetera. You also had Superman, created by Action Comics in 1938. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby later created all the modern Marvel superheroes you love today, such as Spider Man. So, would there be some sort of parallels to draw between these ideas? How would the industry of films or radio be affected by these stories? If these ideas don't exist as commonly at all in the public eye, what other fantastical stories come to fill the void?
of course I am not asking these superhero questions bc i want to make an Into the Spiderverse Spider-Man OC for the RTL-verse, that's just silly ahahahaha-
Anyway, other aspects would include music. Musical genres are always growing and changing, and the European musical scene in the 1650s was largely dominated by classical and european and american folk music, not as much variety and very little was actually written down if there was anything subcultural or 'scene'. Which makes me wonder, what kind of music would develop and become popular in places like Virginia, Florida, New Netherlands, Tussenland? would Native-style music gain popularity and evolve within nations like Mexico, Opdamsland and the Native-heritage-dominated western rockies? would the Irokees develop their own version of percussion-heavy Bluegrass or something? I'd love to see something with the Amerikaens Voortrekker cultures and their own special brands of music that developed in their connections to Mexican/Spanish, TussenlandeDutch, Irokees, Russian, and various kinds of Native music. "Trekker Folk", it could be called. Or something.
What do you all think? Have any of you thought about these things?

This is a hard pill to swallow.
When I was eight, my granny's cousin came to visit. I have never met this guy before, I walked downstairs to make my brother and I cereal and he was there. My granny was upstairs on a call, mind you that I wore a cartoon nightgown. I chatted to him alot and I still blame myself for that, he started touching me, my breasts and my crotch and kissing my neck. He made me touch his shaft, I didn't know what was going on or what was happening. He told me: "I'm teaching you what your boyfriend is going to do to you." All I felt that day was fear, disgust and sadness, I froze up, too afraid to scream. He opened my legs and nearly entered inside me but my brother, at the time was six walked in. Frighteningly I told him to eat his cereal while I washed out all the evidence, (Big mistake) he threatened to kill me and quickly left. I ran upstairs and got dress crying, I sat on my granny's bed waiting patiently for her call to end. I remembered that Michael Knight was playing every Sunday morning on TV, when she was done. I told her everything, she cried called her friend back, called my mom and my mom rushed me to the police station. I spoke to the detectives and they tried to cheer me up but the minute I saw them arresting him I broke down and cried, the detectives put me in trauma unit and tried to calm me down while asking questions. I went to the hospital and they checked if I was broken into, but I washed all the evidence away.
Court took nine months, and therapy by court, I was in fourth grade at the time. My teacher felt sympathy for me. My classmates knew and in my community that is a scandalous thing, I was called ugly names by kids and girls told me it was my fault for opening my legs. I remembered my lawyers and even met a girl in court with a rape case who older than me (She was 12), we became friends, the lawyers didn't want to go into deep details afraid I was gonna cry like her but put me on camera while he was with a judge and my parents where there in my stead. The lawyers promised me nine years for him to go to jail for his crimes, I blamed that the judge and jury believed he's side of the story and gave him a warning and a restraining order.
Growing up, my granny told me not to tell the family, that she'll handle it. Nobody knew, I grew up thinking it was my fault. It's my fault I spoke to him, my granny said my beauty could attracted men into lust via Islam. (I'm christian who was a former muslim. A christian mom and a muslim dad) I dressed modestly and way too mature for my age, I avoided my stepfather and any men in my family. I blamed myself, I felt that no justice was done. I couldn't be around boys my age afraid they'll do the same, (In which the two case of molestation did happen on high school) every family function he was there and I would have to walk out of the house and cry while my brother comforted me.
My cousins started to notice a pattern, eventually I told them. My Granny was worried about face and her reputation with the family, it affected me badly. He acts like a true family oriented guy and so humble knowing he fucked up my life, breaking the court order.
I couldn't date, guys didn't want to be with a trauma messed up girl. I can't be intimate with a guy, I haven't gone to therapy because its looked down upon my community. In 2023, I saw him after the Eid in April when a family member died, my brother was fed up. He told me why didn't I told the court he was a witness, I told him that he was too young to understand and would cry if being questioned too much. I almost thought he did something to him (The guy) when burying the body in Islamic rights since women dont go to the graveyard, but luckily he left it.
Today I visited my granny's father's family. And he was there again, he's wife was there too. She always give me glares and dirty looks to say it was my fault. My granny comforted me, when serving food he served me a plate after I said continuously no thank you. I lost my apatite and was very uncomfortable, I told my cousin who hasn't seen me since the incident why I looked down but didn't go into detail.
I tried talking to my mom but it's always a hush hush topic because she's a rape survivor and she doesn't know how to handle my case if she had to endure silently. Rape and molestation is a victim fault situation since we have the biggest female genocide and rape in the world one year. I feel angry, sad and disgusted with myself. Some men will tell me wearing a night gown provoked him, but I was eight.
I slowly got over these feelings, by bottling them up. I am comfortable around guys my age but not with older men accept a few. I have a boyfriend of four years, and we worked together with this issue where I'm comfortable enough to be almost intimate with him but he will never do it unless I'm mentally and physically sure.
I dunno what to do. I know nothing is going to help, telling people will give me pity and people don't know how to treat me. I don't know if therapy is going to help since the few I met weren't patient enough even if I'm fully open with them and willing to work on myself. I want people to know I'm not that fragile, though he's in my face like a free man, live goes on. But seeing him unlocks the feelings on that day, I still remember, the date, day and time but I forgot his name. Then after a while I forget his face until I see him again.

Hi Everyone! I want to know about my chances and your thoughts on my goals.
Background:

• Indian, 30, Male, Engineer and MBA (Top 3 school in India based on FT Rankings)
• Currently Senior PM in Europe, ~5 yrs of PM experience.
• I love my current PM role but European salaries (and Taxes!) are killing me. TC is close to 100K right now which is pretty good by European standards.

MBA Goals:

• Want to move to the US for $$$ (and possibly more opportunities).
• My current work-life balance is fantastic but for the next few years I would like to focus on making more money (can always move back to Europe/India later).
• Targeting Short MBA programs that are still good on CV (unless it's H/W/S - probably unrealistic):
  • NYU Stern Tech MBA (1-year)
  • Cornell Tech MBA (1-year)
  • Kellogg MBAi (16 months?)
  • Yale MAM (1-year)
  • MIT Sloan Regular 2-year MBA (this is the child in me speaking)

Post MBA Goals:

• PM, Tech VC, Tech Strategy (in that order)
• At least 200K TC (inclusive, not base)

How realistic are the goals? What would you suggest?
PS - Please do NOT suggest internal transfer to the US. Would have already done that if it was an option.

Having some major difficulties getting an industry job that I actually want to work (namely, getting into a PhD level position in RnD where I can flex my scientific background). This is going to be part rant.My background: I would like to believe that I am a competitive candidate. Graduated from a competitive program with a PhD. 6 publications (some co-authors). Worked at the NIH prior to graduate school (post-bac IRTA program). Had the option to return to the NIH as a postdoc, but Bethesda area is quite expensive these days for a postdoc salary. Following graduation, I had an excellent postdoctoral position set up at RIKEN in Japan. Received 3 years of highly competitive postdoctoral funding (5-page written research proposal with a funding rate of less than 10%). Pandemic happened. Japan closed its borders before I was able to get my visa. Locked out of the country for 2.5 years. Forced to jump from one CRO to CDMO because I needed a job immediately and to increase salary.
Right now I have 3 years of industry experience and currently work for a real shitty CDMO that is a complete trainwreck that I desperately want to leave (immensely disorganized and mismanaged. Management places significant hurdles and roadblocks that prevent employees from developing beyond their role). I am a workaholic and my boss actually restricts me from doing too much on the job despite being a high performer and efficient. The trade off is that I have gotten to the point that I work a solid 5-6 hour day and simply leave when I'm finished with my assigned work. I gave up asking to do more work, because my requests are always ignored. Now I go home early and study programming instead (certificate program at local University). My current role is well compensated but I am bored to death. It's in quality control with a sprinkling of method validation/qualification work. However, my prior experience in a CRO was pure method validation work but the job was just too easy and not stimulating enough.
Consequently, I am trying to transition away from CRO/CDMOs and work in something that is more RnD/product development focused where I feel like I would get the opportunity to work on more challenging and exciting work.I recently applied for some RnD positions locally. Got an HR screen at one but ghosted after that. In hindsight, I could have been better prepared. I was taken aback that there was such little focus on my academic research background that matched nicely with the job requirements and all they seemed to care about was my recent experience that was rather unrelated in scope. Now I know what to expect in future HR screens. In the interview I still thought I made valuable connections between my academic work and the job posting, but I guess not enough. Nothing from the other positions.
Question for those here that have found themselves in a similar position (CRO/CDMO to RnD). How easy is it to make this transition? How wide of a net do you have to cast? I'm applying locally and with 3 years of experience in industry, I would have hoped that would make me more competitive than when I started looking for jobs when I had 0 experience. But with a tight market, I'm realizing that I'm likely not going to find a local position here. I generally write a brief cover letter of my background and how it relates to the job description. But is the cover letter necessary? My resume has gone through many edits over the past few years and is always tailored to the job I'm applying to (keyword matching). It's well polished and 2 pages. It's possible I'm making some errors here but it's brief and to the point. Skills/expertise presented right at the top of the first page. I'm probably acting a bit entitled and I need to do away with that attitude. It's like, hey, I'm good enough to work at some of the best research institutes in the world but I'm not good enough for your shitty little company? It's frustrating. Advice? Possibly adding connections on LinkedIn to companies I might want to work for in other areas of the country? Expand LinkedIn network in general for more networking opportunities?

This is really brief, but it’s a recurring dream and it has made me not talk to this guy as much. For background, I’ve been talking to a guy for over a year, we haven’t met up because I travel a lot but I am moving kind of close to where he is for school, and we have mutual friends and we both are aware that the feelings are mutual (or at least I know he likes me). I keep having a dream he gets a girlfriend but it’s in a way where it’s so pushy and annoying and it pisses me off lmaoo 😭 Like each time I try to move on I have this dream and I haven’t ever had this for past partners or situationships. Maybe it’s because we were never actually much of anything besides friends with tension that was almost a situationship. Idk whatever it is it’s so annoying and I’ve never been the jealous type for people I’m not exclusive with either so this is just weird to me.

My (21) sister (18) is getting a graduation party today celebrating her many, many achievements. It’s going to be one of the biggest gatherings of our family and my parents friends since my parents wedding - and my parents are excited to show my sister off and brag about her accomplishments. I’m very proud of her too.
I would like to keep the spotlight solely on her if possible. It’s not that I’m so special or have achieved anything even close to what she has, or that I think my presence takes the shine off of her - quite the opposite actually. We have a very stereotypical case of “older siblings sucks while the younger siblings is perfect, and hard working, and is the gem of the family” syndrome and I’m 100% I’m going to be getting some snide comments and questions referencing the fact I’m not as good as my sister throughout the night.
What are some smooth ways to redirect these?

My cat is 15+ years/spayed, and she takes gabapentin to manage her pain; it was prescribed by our vet after she had a urinary tract infection and cried pain while peeing and was peeing blood all over the house. It’s over now and back to normal, but without her meds, she can’t pee normally. Today, after giving her 1.5 ml dose this morning, I noticed she had trouble keeping her balance and facial twitching. Her left front paw was noticeably weaker and wouldn’t even hold her up. She can still jump onto chairs, but slides right off as if she doesn’t have a sense of gravity and walks very close to the floor. She’s still drinking water and eating her food and overall healthy based on a recent vet visit last month.
I was looking up ataxia in cats and suggestions were to stop the meds for a bit. However, she needs it in order to go potty properly and without any pain (she has diabetes, and the vet said her joints are basically aching her in the hips when she pera now, hence the pain while peeing). Our vet said to give her a dose every day (1-1.5 ml at 250ml/5ml, liquid; she weighs 11 lbs), but I haven’t seen this symptom before.
I’m honestly thinking that it’s time to have a talk with my family about what’s best for her at this point, except it’s not my decision to make. I’d really appreciate any help or comments about whether I’m overreacting and if this is a normal side effect or more severe? She’s eating her food as we speaking but walks and climbs ever so slowly and falls every now and again.

I used the questions in the pinned post as a guideline but I formatted it this way so it's less clunky and easier to read ;)
​

• 22F. I have an anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and (suspected) ADHD
• I'm very close with my family and I have a really positive upbringing. One of my parents does have anxiety-related mental health issues which caused them to become overprotective and I believe has lead to some of my own anxiety-related characteristics. Aside from that they were pretty lenient and they didn't really have too many rules. My parents are immigrants and because they spent a lot of time working/don't know English, I grew up very independent as a child and took on a lot of responsibilities at a young age. As a child I was very curious and obedient, but I did get into a lot of mischief with my friends.
• I'm in school rn to be an elementary education teacher and I do love it a lot! I do get bored of it sometimes but I think I would feel that way in almost any career since I like experiencing new things and get bored once things become too routine. My other top career choices are in the meteorology, criminal justice, and forensic fields.
• If I had to spend a weekend without hanging out with my friends I'd be very bored. I do need to recharge at times (In that time I'll usually clean my room or be on my phone) but I'm usually doing something with somebody every day.
• I like meeting new ppl but I'm way more comfortable if others introduce people to me... I usually don't introduce myself to ppl first :)
• I'm very easy going and I like doing a lot of different activities. I like watching and casually playing sports, but I didn't really grow up playing any. I like rollerskating, exploring new places, traveling, arts and crafts, playing music (I wanna learn to play the electric guitar) and going out at night. I like doing both indoor and outdoor activities but I prefer outdoor. I also have a preference for doing these things with friends.
• I'm a very curious person but my curiosities are mostly based on things I can physically observe. I'm not super into philosophical things.
• I like being in charge of things but I prefer a leadership position where I'm semi-in charge (?), but not at the highest position.
• I've always preferred working with my hands and it is my preferred learning style!
• I could be artistic? I'm very artistically creative (crafts, writing, sometimes music) but I've not been committed enough to express my creativity... but whenever I do, I'm super into it and talented at it.
• I live in the present. I am good at making connections with past events but I try not to dwell on anything in the past. I don't plan anything out into the future either. I like taking it one step at a time.
• I'm always willing to lend a hand and help friends and family... and strangers, if I like their vibe. I used to volunteer a lot. Helping others makes me feel good but tbh I just mainly volunteered b/c I liked the activities itself, helps with my boredom, and makes me feel like a more well-polished and qualified human being (like picking up trash, raising money, etc)
• I am good at starting projects. I am bad at finishing them. I am terrible at doing things I don't wanna do.
• I daydream every now and then (usually abt scenarios that have/could happen in my life) but I'm very aware of my surroundings and snap back to reality easily
• I'm pretty opinionated and I love making sure others know where I stand on things. Sometimes I won't argue with someone to keep peace but I'll kinda be like "oh I disagree this is why but whatever" and move on. With people I'm close with I absolutely have no problem disagreeing, arguing, and defending myself.
• I have trouble processing and expressing some emotions, especially sadness. I definitely feel sad sometimes but I have a very "just move on dwelling doesn't do anything to help" mentality and I tend to ignore those feelings altogether.
• I have a quick temper :s
• I'm not a rule breaker, but I'm the epitome of malicious compliance. That being said I haven't had major issues with authority tbh a lot of older people think I'm respectful
• I have MAJOR FOMO
• I love cleaning and organization but my personal spaces get quite messy. It’s really a weekly cycle of obsessive cleaning and throwing stuff around
• I am quite security conscious and a voice of reason in my group but these qualities completely go away when I am medicated or under the influence of something, which makes me thing it might be anxiety-related rather than a personality thing
  • Some of my other interests include reality/adult animation tv, make up and fashion, trying new things, drinking, exploring and road tripping etc etcc.
• Some things I don’t like to do is binge watch tv/movies, philosophical discussions, staying inside, sleeping, playing chess

My husband and I have started looking for a home. Our gross annual combined income is 154k, we take home ~8500/month. My husbands 401K and roth come straight out of his paycheck, my roth I pay after my paycheck 500/month so lets say we take home ~8000/month. Current necessary expenses (taken from May of this year)
Rent: $2307.95
groceries: $717.89
recurring bills (including power, water, internet, carenters insurance, spotify/hulu account): $532.07
gas: $268.68
husband's car payment: $300/month (about 2 years left on this)
total of all that: $4126.59
of course, we spend part of our income on fun things like travel, eating out occasionally, and shopping however those amounts vary monthly and we still come out ahead every month where we are able to put $500-$700 into our liquid savings account every month and still have usually $1k-$1.5k left over. we have an emergency fund of $20k that we absolutely do not plan on touching to buy a house.
we decided that our budget for a house would be $375-$400k - to be in a good neighborhood with good schools with a house that doesn't need tons of work this seems to be about the going rate. (by tons of work I mean roof/HVAC/foundation issues, I am fine with living in a house with carpet and 90's style choices in countertops). I am about to turn 30 and my husband is 32, and we are about ready to have a baby. Our current apt is 1100 sq ft 2 bed/2 bath in the heart of our city and we honestly have a great deal on it for the quality and the location. We got pre-approved at 6.25% and we have enough in our savings account for a 20% down payment ($80k). The calculator my dad made us is showing that with taxes, insurance, and mortgage we would probably be paying a minimum of $3200 a month on a house.
The next big monthly cost would be daycare which seems to run about $1500/month for 1 infant. This would not be an expense for at least one year and more realistically it would be after that time frame. My parents live in the same city but with us planning to move to the suburbs they wouldn't be close enough to really take care of our child every day, and also I don't want to ask them to do that unless we really had to. So those 2 costs alone would be $4700/month which is more than half our take home pay.
This seems like SO MUCH money to me and it feels impossible. I average about a 3-5% salary increase each year and my husband increases 5-7% and gets seemingly random bonuses with very random amounts (he got one $12k bonus and then a month later got a $1500 bonus but then didn't get one for the next 2 months and there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it). if we move to the burbs our gas bill will probably be higher because my husband will have to drive further to work (I will be doing about the same). Power bill will probably be higher due to having a larger space. All expenses will go up with a baby when we eventually have one. When I do the math it says we can afford it, but it just doesn't feel like it. I guess this is somewhat of a rant but we are tired of renting and ready to move into the next phase of our lives. We don't want to be house poor but it seems like we might have to be for at least a little while and hope that our salaries increase.

Okay, so I had just this idea, based on a scene of a story I'm reading. Not sure how I got from that scene to my idea, but that's not important.
Anyway, like the title says, the statute of secrecy failed. Hogwarts exists, but it never became a thing. The ministry isn't as as organized, as it is in the books. In fact, the ministry would be more of a bunch of families trying to keep order somewhat.
- random scene of what the story might have- (note, I'm terrible at Hagrid's accent, so I didn't bother and just wrote him normally.)
Harry stared at the man, who had gone from your ordinary "Joe Bloggs" into a man, who could probably punch Arnold Schwarzenegger's light out without even trying. The man was huge, he had a beast of a beard and if it weren't for the fact Harry was certain he wouldn't hurt a fly, he would probably be very wary of him.
"...Could you please repeat what you just said?" Harry asked.
"You're a wizard." The man, Hagrid repeated.
"That's what I thought you said." Harry muttered. "So, what, I can pull rabbits out of my hat?" Harry asked sarcastically.
"Nope. Nothing as elaborate as that." Hagrid said, either ignoring or not catching on to Harry's sarcasm. "I can conjure birds though, that means that I can make them appear out of nothing. Though, they're just constructs and will disappear after a few minutes. But that's all you need, really."
"And I'm supposed to go to this... What was it again?" Harry asked.
"Hogwarts." Hagrid repeated. "It's a small school, and it was founded a couple of centuries ago. It never became as popular as the founders had hoped, but it does have enough families that it can keep going."
"And my parents went there as well?" Harry asked.
"Yup." Hagrid nodded. "From the moment your mum knew she was pregnant with you, she registered your name. And once you were born, you summoned your bottle to you, when I was visiting once, when your dad wasn't quick enough to your liking."
"Does that mean you knew my mum and dad well?" Harry asked.
"I sure did." Hagrid nodded. "Taught them how to defend them against dangerous animals myself."
- other scene different from above, goes into detail about how the statute of secrecy may have failed-
"There were many tries and attempts to get families to agree to talk about a statute of secrecy. And of all those tries, only once did it get far enough that it might be approved." Professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster and the one who taught history lectured.
"My very own ancestor, Arthur Dumbledore, argued that in favor of it, because of the prejudice mundanes had against us. Many unfortunate women were accused of witchcraft and while few of them were actual witches, the ones who were, were with very few exceptions, always young children."
"In the end, it failed and any attempts that followed never gained enough support to make it a possibility since. And given today's technology, it is very much impossible to truly hide or make people forget we exist." The professor continued with his lecture.
"Wizards and witches have fought openly and subtly in wars as recent as the first and second world war. In fact, if it wasn't for them, Hitler may have won the war. Today though, we have witches and wizards who work openly and secretly in just about every job you care to name. It could be argued that our world could be much more terrible than how we have it today. We have truth serum, which is available in the most terrible cases, such as where someone is accused of murder." Here the professor paused before continuing.
"It is however, not all bright and positive. The church," and the man was barely able to keep himself from sneering, "is still very much our enemy. They have brainwashed witches and wizards to infiltrate our settlements, before betraying them. They are put on trial, and while even the church can't get away with outright murdering them, their re-education camps are a fate I wouldn't wish on even my most terrible enemy."
--
And here I ran out of steam. I would envision smaller magical settlements throughout the world, each claiming independence but also connected to their muggle government. Some are left alone, leaving them to do as they please, whilst others are kept on a tight leash.
Thoughts?

Hi Everyone,
This is a small community, with not a ton of activity, but I plan on participating in the blackout from June 12-14 that many other communities are doing. The way Reddit is implementing their API fee is completely ridiculous, and then how they've tried to create a scapegoat in Christian Selig, the developer behind Apollo (which is what I primarily use to interact with Reddit) by lying about his conversations with them as well as accusing him of blackmailing them and then of running his app inefficiently is just not acceptable.
Then, add spez's AMA where he gave 14 responses (in an AMA with over 20k comments), all of which doubled down on the ridiculous pricing and continuing to accuse devs of being the problem, and honestly if this weren't a technical support related sub, I'd just be closing it forever.
But this is a technical support sub, and people do get help here, and I don't want to take that away, so I'll just be setting this sub to private from June 12 to 14 in order to make public my displeasure at Reddit's actions.
I know I don't comment here a lot as a mod (because it's basically never needed), so if you have any questions, please reach out!

So my mother and I rented an Airbnb right by a very large university hospital because I was getting major surgery. I'd have to stay close to the hospital for two weeks post op while I recover because we live far away. The airbnb was not particularly cheap for the area either. When we arrived a few weeks ago the place is not in good condition, the bathroom door is broken around the handle, the front door is all worn away but at least still locks, blinds broken, and everything just looks like it had white painted on over a very beat up apartment with zero repairs. Whatever, I can manage, especially because I would be in the hospital. First night there, the shower nob to turn it on completely breaks off. He takes FOUR days to fix it. There are no duvets in the duvet covers so no blankets. Minimal kitchen equipment even though it was advertised as stocked with utensils, oil, etc. Once again, I was nice because I was in the hospital so we weren't really there. Then I get home from the hospital a week later and get into bed and a painting comes down off the wall and almost destroys my newly constructed spine. Not great.
And finally, three days ago the wifi starts to get really spotty. It's advertised in the booking as high speed internet and a good workspace. Then yesterday the internet tv (no cable) stops working. I spend an hour trying to fix the TV with no luck. Though I did get it to turn on again which it wasn't doing for a while. Did power cycling, soft and hard reset, etc. Contacted the host yesterday because I did want to give it some time and try to fix it myself. He says "he'll try to swing by tomorrow and restart the router" (which is not in the unit or I would do it myself). Now it's 2pm and no wifi or TV for almost three days. I'm in surgery recovery with some serious restrictions so literally all I can do is watch TV. He's right by the hospital so he gets a lot of patients staying here and has multiple units in this building.
I've contacted the host twice now about the wifi and he's not particularly responsive clearly. Haven't heard from him today at all. Basically I want to know is this a valid reason to complain to airbnb? Or is there anything that can be done? I'm literally just staring at the ceiling stewing in post op pain because I can't even look down to read a book. It just seems absolutely ridiculous.