Eagle falls golf course great falls

Opinions on what I should do. So a little background I’m a USMC veteran got out in 2020, I have a 3 yr old child that I just spent almost a year and a half fighting for custody. The custody is, I have month on month off bc mom moved to a different state to be with family. But once my daughter starts pre-k next fall I will have school year and mom gets summers and major holidays.
My dilemma: i accrued 20k in debt fighting for 50/50 custody (which I did get and would do over again). But to my parents not a bank…credit cards. So my goal is to pay them back as soon as possible. I feel my ex will fight to get custody again and school year. This wouldn’t be so bad if she was stable and ik my daughter wouldn’t move a bunch like my ex had to growing up. If my ex would move back it’s week on week of which I think would be more beneficial for my daughter. I applied last year for a university police department and failed on a psych eval, it sounds bad but this was during my ongoing divorce and custody battle and the reason for the failure was the medicine I was placed on. Since I have gotten off the medication and switched to a medication that works for me and would allow me to work for the police department. Meanwhile while waiting on the police job I applied and accepted a job working for the electric union closest to me since working for them I have a great opportunity to be accepted into their Apprenticeship (applied before the police job and didn’t get in for lack of experience, which I have since working for them and becoming a union member) I applied again this year on the last day. The apprenticeships is a five year commitment where I get raises every year and after I’ll be making 34$ (take home) plus benefits which include 7.50 an hour for my retirement for every hour worked, a vacation check I pay into while I work for every 6 full months of 40 hours weeks I will receive 7500$. The issue I worry about is the work is over 13 counties and if I am sending my daughter to school I could see issues with getting her in the bud and such depending on when I worked and where it work. There is also a layoff after each job currently (could change) it can be anywhere from a month to 8 months. But during the apprenticeship I get to use my va benefits which gives me roughly an extra 1000 a month for housing year round if I spread it out or 1200 for 9 months a year.
The cop job should I apply again and get through it and hired would be 23 an hour with somewhat regular raises I don’t know where it caps out but after 5 years my daughter cna go to colleges there for free not to mention they have the best health Care probably in the state. They said all the overtime I could want as well and they are 12 hour shifts.
The big dilemma is the cop job would give me of a steady schedule and dependable income and make it harder if my ex wanted to try and fight me for custody in the future but I feel the union job would better set my daughter and myself up. With me my daughter always comes first and I’m struggling with this. But if I accept the apprenticeship I’m locked in or I burn the bridge forever. And I don’t feel I can’t down union job if I haven’t got confirmation of the cop job but it can take up to a year to find out and I would have to go for three months of training. Any advise will be greatly appreciated!

Hello guys, I was in my first qualifying year of engineering and I am an international student. In fall term, I scored 1.2 gpa and failed two subjects, due to lack of focus because of mental health. In my second term, I was ready to give my 100% on my studies but My health got worse and Thus I missed most of my term work and was not able to attend classes also. And most load was on my final exam, but I was not able to give my special deferrals also, as I was Covid positive and was very ill. So now my overall gpa is 1.1 . And I failed 2 subjects in winter term(because not able to give exam). The courses for which, I gave my exam, I scored B and B-. If, I would have given this two exams, then I might have not failed.
Now, the thing is I am very passionate about engineering and it’s my lifeline. Now, my health is also recovering and If I get a chance to prove self, then I can definitely do good. I am gonna appeal wrt, And if it is not get accepted then, can they put me in fresh start?. And what are the chances that my appeal can be accepted, as I am a very dedicated student, and want to stay in University. It’s my dream
Please help me out guys, and I really appreciate your help.
Please like this post, so more people can give their opinions.

This is not a political position, but a thermodynamic one. The world is heading from a time of excess to a time of scarcity. With more people enjoying fewer comforts, humanity is faced with the direction it takes for the rest of our species' future on this planet and others: we can't fight each other for what's left or we can share with each other what we need.
This isn't - or has never before been - a serious question because this world has never felt universal hardship before. In the past, when any major scarcity was faced (with the exception of 536) there was always a neighboring ally to buffer the loss or an enemy to subjugate; until now, there has always been more. Climate change is a global pressure on a globalized economy. There are no external economies that are thriving to prop up the luxuries we've come to feel entitled to. When that luxury can no longer be provided, people are trained to blame each other and ask for the boss to complain about our level of service.
This is the attitude fueling the shift to the right "all this liberal 'science' bullshit has turned my country into a place i dont recognize. Time to get my country in order!", but like how the long term side effects of COVID will be blamed on the vaccine rather than the virus, humans are apparently hardwired to look for a person or institution that's responsible for their problems, because they live in a world that's manifestly run by humanity. Politicians don't help with this because they promise change that a large bureaucracy isn't capable of... every time they step in front of a mic. Politicians feed the sense that the world is divided into teams and the team that's running things is doing harm. They are the anti-vax evangelists of a world simply running out of good time as a result of spending all the good time since the end of WWII.
Humanity cannot fly. That shouldn't be arguable. It's a fundamental limit of our physiology that cannot be overcome without shedding everything about us that makes us human; brains are heavy. When we get on a plane, we are not 'flying', we are taking a bus full of people, strapping a rocket engine to it, and firing it in a ballistic trajectory toward our destination. For all the celebration of progress in the tech age, we still can't figure out how to move something forward without throwing something out the back. That's not just why planes are absurd but why they cannot continue to be considered a good invention. Think of how much fuel would need to be burned to rocket yourself across a lawn, let alone through the sky; it's an insane amount of fuel and an absurd justification for burning it, especially virtually all domestic travel can be accomplished by rail or bus... which also use the same principle of throwing out enough exhaust gasses out the back to displace the weight of the thing that's burning the fuel. When this thing is on the ground, it burns much less fuel than pushing it through the sky.
Humanity assumes novelty is benign. Im not sure if this is one of the hidden rules about capitalism that we all follow as a culture "have you seen the new x!? It's amazing and works way better than x-1!", or if we're evolutionarily programmed to assume new is good and the direction we should be heading in. In either case, it has allowed us to adopt planetary destruction as a necessary aspect of each of our lives. It isn't anything we do consciously, it is the background of our lives that feeds big industry and steals time from the future. It's our commute, our food, our total acceptance that running a furnace is fine despite getting all worked up about oil spills and fires when we see them uncontained. The maze we all run was designed to have as much distance as possible between you and the cheese at the end so you would spend half or more of your cheese burning calories to get from the start to the finish and repeat all over. It is why people feel the problem is too big for them: there is nothing one person can change in the part of the life they control that will redirect the planetary system away from collapse because it is the pattern of our lives that is the destructive part.
Since our shared pattern is so destructive, it is self limiting. We are feeling the effects of that now with COVID (forests being pushed toward ecological breakdown leads animals to look for new territory and new food, leading to conflict with species already there and malnutrition from food with an incomplete nutrient balance), extreme weather doing damage to vital infrastructure and shipping losses.
Which brings us back to Ukraine. The world needs a beacon. A Western country with the courage to model a sustainable lifestyle through active change. I assumed that would have been Canada but I was wrong. Instead, with Ukraine being forced to rebuild in a time where supplies have never been more expensive, and in a state where its people have gotten used to living without luxury, it can either be an incubator for redesigning human life to restore the environment rather than destroy it.
There is no stronger people to take on such a challenge and the world that has been paying for weapons to defend. If we can send explosives to break, we must send hands, tools, and materials to rebuild. If we rebuild the same way, the world will fall into war since the causal push of all existing conflict is space and resources or their control, and we will continue to pretend that individual human choices are to blame for war. We will continue to refuse to look deeper and will soon find ourselves in a position where taking up arms seems like the only solution left to us. If, on the other hand, the rest of us find the courage to look one step deeper and ask "why is the world falling to war? What is driving conflict?", we will see it is the same thing driving our thirst for more luxury and, hopefully, realize that the only survivable path to the future is one where we change our behavior to relieve the force that's pushing us in that direction.
When more is never enough, less is a horrifying concept. Without a model for how to happily live as a human in a self sufficient community, there will be no "green transition", there will only be more disease, more scarcity, and more conflict on the edge of that scarcity. The more each of us takes, the more we contribute to conflict around the world.
There is no way to make a car "green", just like there is no way to make a compostable battery. The problem isnt the means of conveyance, it is the distance we need to cover to survive. Whether or not we change our habits to adapt to this reality is inconsequential to its eventuality, it just seems absurd to ignore the reality of hardship until you're being strangled by it simply to "enjoy the time you have left".
If the war in Ukraine ends and the world moves in to turn it into the first net zero country, there is hope for a future for our species. If we act like everything was fine until a mad man decided to invade a sovereign country, war will spread like a fog descending on the world. Demands will be met by force as a result of people pushing for impossibly cheap access to resources. Slavery will return as the foundation of the global economy and, in all this horror, we will be hastening and worsening our own conditions.
Like a train whose tracks go over the grand canyon, humanity needs one last train stop to see what it looks like to live somewhere other than a train at constantly increasing speed. We need a model for a future that is too nebulous to explain: it must be seen and experienced, how much living can be done as humans on and with the land. If nothing else but to illustrate that a train going over a cliff was not a predetermined consequence of "human progress", and that a choice has been made to define that progress with the inventions of a few men, all of which run by stealing energy from the past and stability from the future. It would allow us to see the train from the outside and force us to question the value of a murder-suicide pact.
For the demonstration to be compelling, there can be no or very little carbon footprint for the country. Structures must be built from salvaged (cheap) material, focusing on isolated but functional communities.
We have already lost the battle to save most of what we recognize in our world but we don't need to continue to burn it all down. Since there is no more track for this paradigm, there is no consequence for trying something new and certain death and misery by doing the same. This message can be shared in every possible way, but without a demonstration of what it looks like on a cultural level, we will never have the discussion that leads to the choice to keep going or get off the death train.
We are not the creations or technology we obsess over, we are an ape descended species on a planet we're stuck with and have killed 80% of in 50 years. We cannot survive on a lifeless world because we are alive and life feeds on life to survive. I have a hard time getting people to relate to the rest of the living world as a branch of the same tree we belong to because of how separated we are from other life. The more life that's lost, the less we'll care about it being gone and the more committed we will be to our preoccupations to avoid having to face reality.
The cowardice ive encountered when it comes to facing reality has been incredibly disappointing and disturbing. We will pass laws in our country to prevent poaching and hunting in other countries where our emissions and lifestyle -guided by our laws- are pushing the same animals to total extinction. We will talk about this from a position of moral superiority, only, and will take no responsibility for the conditions our behavior has already created. There is no "border crisis", there are people being pushed out of their homes by new weather that has made those homes incompatible with survival. I've heard lots of Americans talking about moving north in response to climate shifts as if that is something completely different from what is happening on their southern border or in Europe. No one leaves their ancestral home to cause problems in another country, but if that country is responsible for the force that pushed them out, they should either stop pushing people out of their homes or open their borders. To refuse either is to accept that you live a life of evil and as the person that will one day deny you shelter to protect what they have.
These a new times with new stakes and new bad guys. The only good thing about being the bad guy is you can choose to stop, while your victims can only beg you to stop and, eventually, resist/insist on a different course. It is up to each and all of us how the future plays out. The party is over. No one gets to sit this out.

I’ll try to keep this brief by my sister (Katy, F49) and I (F42) had a rough upbringing. Me tougher than her due to her age and leaving home earlier than I could. However I’ve dealt with it and am now proud. I have a family, great job etc. my sister however is a bit of a mess…changes job, struggles with money, relationship issues etc. She also still smokes pot unlike I and it seems to exacerbate her ups and down quite vastly. It did with me too, I know it doesn’t with some but with us it always did.
We had a falling out because I stopped to say Hi to a friend of hers from childhood who she’s had a falling out with. I’ve known this friend for decades and literally had a 2-3 mins basic hi, how are you, how’s life etc. When Katy found out she had a fit and hasn’t spoken to me yet aside from abuse. She started doing what our dad did, threatening 5uiside on fb, then going missing for days on end, making out I’ve betrayed her. When I found out that was the reason (after 4 weeks of silence and cryptic social media posts) I apologised. She continued to go on so I just exited the conversation. Haven’t spoken since.
Now that’s out of the way, the dilemma. She hasn’t contacted me or my kids for 4 months. It’s my daughters birthday (9) and I’ve received a man Amazon parcel for her with a note saying happy birthday.
How do I respond? I don’t want contact with her but I’m British and therefore dreadfully polite 🤣 Do I just get my daughter to text her thanks from my phone? Ignore? Get her to phone her? Text her myself?
Help Reddit family!
TL;DR How do you thank a sibling for a present to your niece when you don’t want contact?

So last night my players made it to the Wailing Statue in Betrayers’ Rise. The descended into the chamber thanks to the blood wizards feather fall. When they landed ALL 4 of the PCs failed their charisma saves. So all 4 wanted to kill each other. The wizard failed the worst, so I had him make a surprise round. Which was of course fireball. The party hadn’t rested since the spider chamber and the hall of chains. They weren’t in deaths door, but they were low on spell slots and other abilities. The tempest cleric and armorer artificer failed their Dex saves for the fireball. The gunslinger fighter succeeded. Then combat starter. The fighter had top initiative and immediately made their save from the curse. They made a run to get behind one of the arms of torog and used their action to hide. I’m fuzzy on the initiative order at this point but here’s the highlights. The cleric used her highest level spell slot to shoot a guiding bolt at the wizard, but the wizard counter spelled. The artificer, with no more spell slots left, used his lightning launchers on the wizard as well. Doing some damage. Now for the wizard… That fireball was his last 3rd level spell slot, BUT, when he decided to play a blood wizard, we looked up some homebrew blood spells. One being Living Bomb. Basically it causes the target blood to explode. Pretty cool. The only thing is…when the target is reduced to 0 hit points as a result of Living Bomb, the creature explodes. So the wizard targets the artificer with Living Bomb. Artificer fails the save and is reduced to 0 hit points. Now, I’m all for a brutal game, BUT I don’t particularly love it when my players die. But I didn’t want to just wave off the wizards spell. So I had the artificer make an arcana check against the wizard spell DC which was 15. Artificer rolled a 7 on the dice. + 8 for his arcana. 15. Meets it beats it. So instead of the artificer exploding, I had his Arcane Armor be the target of the spell, destroying the armor. Which for the artificer was still a big deal. And the wizard thought it was awesome. Another part of the Living Bomb is that the explosion deals damage to nearby creatures. That damage drops the cleric.
Next round. The fighter runs out and makes a medicine check on the cleric, stabilizing her. The artificer (who I decided was left with 1 hp) succeeded in his check to no longer be cursed. He ran back and used cure wounds on the cleric. The cleric then used Hold Person on the wizard, buying them some time. Next round, the artificer runs up the wizard yelling at him to snap out of it, making non lethal attacks with his +1 dagger, trying to not him out. The wizards turn. I makes another save to break free of the curse. Fails. Looks at the artificer and says(out of character) sorry. He casts Living Bomb once more. The artificer had 1 hp. I asked him what was the last thing he says, thinks, hears, or feels. The quick version. He says the the wizard, “Find peace, friend.” And is turned into red mess.
The wizard doesn’t know it, but he was consecuted by the Luxon. In his past life he was the chosen spouse of Vesh, the Bloody Siren. (Like Brother Kash from CR campaign 1) Time stops momentarily as the artificer is exploding. The wizard sees the silhouette of Vesh dancing in the blood fountain that was once the artificer.
All in all a very fun session. The artificer thought it was a hell of a way to go and is excited about his new character.

The Window of Opportunities
Time has really moved at a break-neck speed, it's already been 2.5 years since I was made the Assistant Branch Manager of the SBI branch, Ambattur. I am probably two quarters away from becoming the Branch manager. I did an exceptional performance last quarter and had the best loan management throughput in southern India. I donned the youngest employee of the branch, but my older colleagues, who usually are my sub-ordinates, respected me and maintain a good rapport. All though everything seems great, the monotony was slowly creeping in. Sometimes I feel nothing new or interesting ever happens here.
***
It was such a usual boring Monday when something changed forever. Hema, a new clerk had joined our branch. I don’t hold the youngest employee tag anymore but happy to pass it to her. She was allocated a table facing my cabin entrance window. She seems a bit nervous, as it was her first day at this office. The peon and later the cashier had given her the office tour, and after meeting the BM, she entered my cabin. She wore a cotton yellow chudithaar with an umbrella cut, a simple black sandal, silvery earrings, and neatly braided hair with few strands floating over her forehead. She was really tense and her voice was feeble when she introduced herself. Hemamalini Manimaaran, that was her name. Maybe I will ask her out for a coffee someday.
***
It's been 4 months since Hema joined the branch. I haven’t asked her out for a coffee yet, but I have made steady progress toward asking her out. In these months, I haven’t had any chance to talk something other than office work. We do exchange occasional Hi-byes and daily greetings. Today, she is wearing a cool-blue cotton chudithar, with a white shawl. Her hair was neatly braided with a red rose pinned tightly by a small metal hair clip. Still, a few strands of hair defied the bun and floated in the air, caressing her tiny black spade-shaped bindi. I had assigned her to clear monthly balance sheets and finish up some data entry work as well. She looks pretty settled and comfortable in the office these days, often listening to music in her thin white earphones when not attending to the customer's queries. She wears her watch on her right hand, and her handwriting is super-legible even on challans written at high speed. I had turned punctual these days, taking care of my appearance, bathing daily, dressing formally, polishing my shoes and combing my hair. I spend most of my days in my cabin, releasing cheques, issuing drafts, processing loans and watching her work through my window. She is a slow poison to my soul. I have delayed it too much already, today there isn’t much work, and the climate also seems to be good, I will be taking her, sorry I mean asking her out for a coffee later this evening. I am a bit nervous though.
***
It has been 2 years since Hema stepped into my branch for the first time. I haven’t been promoted to Branch manager yet, but my Bosses from HQ have promised me a promotion coming quarter. It doesn’t matter though. Hema, my love, she is turning beautiful for every account opened, cheque passed, loan cleared and query resolved. Nowadays I feel that I am coming to my office just to see her work. She is not the nervous new girl anymore, she has gotten steadier, sincere and more responsible in her work. Today she is wearing a neatly ironed maroon cotton saree, nothing fancy except for the beautiful peacock embroidery at the border. Yes, She had started wearing sarees to the office these days. Some things have changed in these two years, she had changed her sandals twice and mobile phone once, but still owns the same earphones, uses the same perfume and wears the same watch but with a different strap. Something nice happened 3 months ago, the cashier had once invited me to have lunch in the common break room with everyone. yes, I was pathetically eating my lunch all alone in my cabin all these years. He just invited me once but I somehow made it into a routine. Hema checked her watch and turned off her PC, Yes! Lunchtime. This twenty minutes of having lunch at the same table along with Hema is the best thing that could happen today. She is silently eating lemon rice and beetroot poriyal that she bought in her green Tupperware lunch box. By the way, I haven't asked her out for a coffee yet, but we did have a couple of coffees and a few teas in these 2 years in our office paper cups that had been shrunken in size as a part of budgeting last fiscal year, but who cares. I may have not asked for a date yet, but I have come to the conclusion that she is the one for me and after my promotion next quarter, I will propose to her for hand in marriage. I think that kind of gesture would suit both of our personalities. Anyhoo…tell me how does anyone describe the feeling when you see your future wife eating Lemon rice silently in a corner. God, I love her so much. She occasionally brings curd rice, pulao, sambar, podi-idly, and chapathi for her lunch, but I often noticed her eating lemon rice for lunch. I think she is the one who cooks and packs her own lunch. I always wanted to share her lemon rice with me. Maybe after marriage, I will daily cook her something more nicer than lemon rice, if lemon rice is not her favourite lunch.
***
It was my eighth year at Ambattur Branch SBI. I had turned into branch manager a few weeks ago. It's a Monday, and sadly Hema will not be coming to the office today, I approved her maternity leave last Friday. She won’t be coming for the next 6 months. Yeah, she got married to a nice-looking gentleman. She seems happy and she literally glowed beautifully when I signed her approval. I redistributed her work to the rest of the employees. I don’t know where to eat lunch today. Last Friday she said, she was due in 3 months. Hope she has a safe delivery. The past year has been a little hard for me, both on the professional and personal front. Hema got engaged and then got married. I attended the marriage reception with other branch colleagues. Our overall branch performances dropped, and targets were falling short. My previous branch manager retired. I was eventually made BM, but I didn’t change my cabin though. I gained some weight, my hairline receded, don’t talk much. I am turning 33, tomorrow.
***
I am retiring this month, as BM of the Ambattur SBI branch. Hema entered my cabin with her lunch bag and two small paper cups of office coffee. I cleared my table for her to place the cutleries. We had taken an early lunch today. She is my best friend here. She and my wife are good friends too. She sat facing me, her grey hair strands still floating gracefully over her wrinkly forehead. She had brought Lemon Rice today. We shared it. Though my wife’s veg biriyani outclasses the lemon rice by a huge margin, I have a soft spot for the Lemon rice. Hema talks a lot, she loves to talk, and I love to listen to her. The conversation glided smoothly over a wide spectrum of topics, ranging from naming her grandchild, my son’s college, the rapidly changing banking sector, retirement plans, office hot goss, last quarter’s audit, SEBI regulations, and real estate. After 90 minutes of memorable lunch, we winded up and she walked back to her table. When I retire this month, she would be the oldest employee of the branch. She still has 3 years of service. I am sure she can manage on her own. I sat in my cabin and looked at her through my cabin window, She is wearing a beige-coloured cotton saree with simple floral patterns, I still remember her first day at the branch, in her yellow Chudithar. Lots have changed in these 35 years, our hair greyed, skin wrinkled as we worked, smiled, cried and grew in this small office space. Lots of opportunities have passed by. I have missed all of them. Regretted for a few years for missing them, but now looking back at all these years, I have witnessed all my love for this woman, beautifully transform into respect and friendship. She was skimming through some files at her desk, she paused and turned to see me through the window, and our eyes met. I smiled. She smiled.
***

TWBS Previous Next First
-
---Simone’s perspective---
---Thursday, 4th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
---Southern England---
“So… let me get this straight…” I say, frowning at the pair before me “…Within an hour of landin’, you…” I point at the tall, dark haired boy “…were bitten by a king brown snake and were laid up for the next two days, unable to contribute more than advice to Reid while she did all the heavy liftin’… You weren’t able to call an evac because, between the two of you, you’d managed to leave the beacon you should have had here in Graffham… and you think I should pass you for that, do you Privates?”
“Yes, Ma’am!” answers the redhead.
“Why should I pass you for that, Reid?”
“We fulfilled the terms of the assignment: We survived the full five days in the environment we were dropped in using only the allowed equipment and without calling for an emergency evac, Ma’am.” answers the Scot, straight faced, somehow.
“You admit that you would have called an evac if you could have, Private?”
“Yes, Ma’am… but we couldn’t so we didn’t.”
“You admit that it was your own shared stupidity that meant that you didn’t have a beacon with you when you went, Privates?” I ask, drily.
“I… don’t believe lack of stupidity was a requirement of the test, Ma’am.” answers Reid, cheekily.
“Guess again, Private! Lack of stupidity is always a requirement in the Military! Stupid Soldiers are dead Soldiers!” I correct, sternly.
“My mistake, Ma’am.” apologises Reid, hastily.
My anger subsides as I say “Buuut… as you say… you did make it out alive… you didn’t call an evac, even if only as a result of bein’ stranded by stupidity… and…” I take a sniff and then chuckle “…it certainly smells like you two are gettin’ along better than you were when you left…(!)”
“I’m… not sure what…?” starts Reid but I cut her off.
“Don’t play dumb, Private!… You’ve tried to wash it off but I’m half Tshwane… you can’t fool this nose!”
The pair shift uncomfortably before I reassure them “Relax! You’re not breakin’ any rules… So long as this relationship doesn’t negatively affect either of your performances, we have no issue… I also trust this means you two won’t be at eachother’s throats so much… At least, in public… don’t really much care what you’re into doin’ in the privacy of a bedroom… or a cave, as the case may be(!)”
“I think it’s safe to say our rivalry is a thing of the past, Ma’am.” provides Taylor.
“Or shifted onto much friendlier terms, at least…” smirks Reid.
“Good…” I turn to Taylor “…Taylor, now you’ve reached the age of majority, you’re eligible to be moved to a bunk in a shared room…”
His face falls, clearly having hoped I’d forget about that.
“…but…” I continue, causing him to perk back up “…I’m a busy woman and assignin’ you one is able to remain low on my list of priorities… so long as you (or Reid) aren’t givin’ me the impression that you might benefit from more rest, that is!… Do we understand eachother, Taylor?”
The boy gives me a rare smile and answers “We understand eachother perfectly, Ma’am.”
“Good!… You are dismissed, Privates.”
The two of them turn to go.
“Oh, and, Privates?”
They both turn to look at me, expectantly.
“Happy New Year…”
---Esme’s perspective---
---Friday, 5th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
“I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping in a conjugal room this whole time!” I grin at the handsome man, currently acting as my mattress in the broomcupboard sized space.
“Technically, it wasn’t a conjugal room… it was designated as a private room for me, since I was a minor…” he smiles without opening his eyes.
“Oh, aye(!) Let’s protect the wee baby boy from any indecency by putting him in the rooms where he’ll be able to hear all the sex through the paper thin walls, every night(!) I see no issue here(!)”
He shakes his head “It wasn’t that bad…”
“Oh it wasn’t, was it(?)… You nasty little perv(!)” I smirk, mischievously.
“Most of the time… people are some combination of embarrassed and considerate enough to keep the noise down… It’s rare that I would have out and out screamers next door… That’s all I meant…”
“Attention all:…” comes Sands’ voice, making the morning wake up call over the PA “…It is now 0630hrs… Time to wake up!… After breakfast, you are to assemble in the yard. Father Christmas came by last night to drop off some late presents for all of you(!)”
---Oskar’s perspective---
I find the crate that has my name on, shaped (ghoulishly) somewhat like one of the wooden boxes that Christians bury their dead in.
I pick it up and carry it aside… it’s heavy!
Looking around for someone who’s done using one of the crowbars that are being passed around, I make eyecontact with Milligan.
He raises the length of metal he holds, proffering it to me.
I take it, appreciatively, and thrust the claw end between the box and its lid.
What is inside does nothing to dispel the ghoulishness of the container’s outward appearance…
The box contains a humanoid figure, almost my exact height and build, rendered in jet black metal with a rippling, wootz pattern.
“Fresh off the forges of Ivaldason and Sons’ Durasteel Foundry, Iceland…” announces Sands, strolling through the throngs of people opening their respective crates “…Between 20 and 30kg each, dependin’ on your proportions… Wearin’ this armour, you become nearly as close to indestructible as it is possible to get without enterin’ the realm of divinity!… These suits are bulletproof and bombproof!… They do have some limitations… they’ll not, for instance, protect you from a long drop and a sudden stop! Your organs will still be rendered into slurry in that case… Neither’ll they protect you from bein’ cut in half with a plasmasword!… From now on, you’ll wear these from dawn to dusk! Classes may be taken with your helmets off… Durin’ PT, however, you WILL wear them in their entirety!… It’ll be hard to begin with but, after less time than you think, your bodies’ll have acclimatised to the extra weight… and you’ll find movin’ in these almost as easy as movin’ out of ’em!… This mornin’s workshop’ll be an instructional on how to properly don, remove and maintain your armour!… Do please give it all your attention!"
---Esme’s perspective---
---Tuesday, 9th of January, 2683 Terran Calendar---
This is HELL!
The armour is perfectly fitting and nicely padded… but it’s so fucking heavy to wear that I can’t think about much more than how sweaty I am and how much my muscles ache from the days I’ve already been wearing it!
Sands said we’d get used to it sooner than we thought but, so far, I feel like exhaustion is making me worse, day on day!
I had to go and sleep in my dormroom last night because I was just too exhausted to engage in any… extracurricular exercise with Oskar(!)
He was quite understanding about it… A little too understanding… I wish he’d seemed at least a touch disappointed!
Back in the present moment, the black metal giant (boosted to over 2m by the height he gains from the boots and helmet) rams the tip of his training sword into my solar plexus… the one upside is that I’ll probably get less bruises wearing this armour!
“Hey…!”
“You’re dead, Esme…” is the only answer that comes from that expressionless helmet.
“You not feel like going a little easier on me now, Oskar?!… I am your girlfriend!!!”
“Caring more about you makes me wish to see you better able to protect yourself… So, no… I’m not going to coddle you…”
“Perfectly logical…(!)” I mock in a flat, midAtlantic accent, holding up my right palm, the ring and little finger splayed from the middle and index.
“Change partner!” shouts Sands.
Not too long ago, my heart would have leapt at that instruction and I would have utterly squashed any feeling of disappointment… Now, however, it causes my already flagging morale to vaporise!
Of course… it makes sense… If you only ever fight with one partner, you only ever learn to fight one way…
I shuffle along while Oskar stays where he is.
The next partner I’m up against is Kilroy… I might have a chance of holding my own against him at least!
---
Support me on Patreon for to access the entire series, now.
---
TWBS Previous Next First

Part 19 Like Angels Falling from the Heavens (Part 1) (Part 18)
​
"Dropping in 3… 2… 1. Mission initiated." A synthetic voice read the words off of Tensebwse's HUD and his vision was suddenly filled with the familiar sight of metal and polymer panels rushing past him. “Target ETA, 8 minutes.”
​
“Alright, ladies!” Tens shouted into his comms-link to the Qui’ztar warriors who were about to experience why the Hell Divers had that name. “Hold on tight! When those retro-thrusters kick, they kick hard!”
​
"Hold on to what?" The deep yet feminine that called back was equal parts excited and nervous, and even held hints of sarcasm.
​
"Consciousness." Tens chuckled as he felt himself slowly being pushed towards the planets below.
​
Despite not feeling too much pressure himself, the Nishnabe warrior was keeping a close eye on both his own acceleration gauge as well as the reads out from his trainees. With his suit and control-AI acting as the central node of the networked machines, he had immediate access to the external and internal sensors of every mech he was in formation with. And, like a good pack leader, Ten wasn't at the front of the group, charging ahead, and possibly going beyond the physical limits of the Qui’ztar warrior women. Rather, he was at the back of the formation, letting the first-time jumpers set a pace they could endure, and watching for signs of overexertion. Even though each woman was nearing the absolute peak of their athletic abilities, the strain they were about to feel would be unlike anything they had ever experienced.
​
"This isn't that bad." It was Hutloxa who made the remark while sounding a bit too confident.
​
"We're still on the insertion-burn!" Tens fully laughed into the comms. "Verify trajectory and shield integrity, ladies. It's now or never!"
​
"Drop zone marked, call out when verified!" Captain Marzima's commanding tone was that of an ardent professional as she knew her commanding officer was watching them carefully.
​
"Drop Mech 1, confirmed!" A cacophony of voices began calling out in sequence until completing at number 19.
​
"All units confirmed, Lieutenant!" Marz was doing her job with the precision of a trained expert.
​
"Excellent, Captain!" Though the praise wasn’t necessary, Tens was starting to get excited as he saw the timer for the retro-thrusters slowly counting down. It had been months since his last time falling into hell and he missed the adrenaline rush. “Remember ladies, you need to keep breathing. If you stop breathing you will pass out. The mechs can and will land on their own if they need to but I need you to stay with me for the whole drop. Do you understand me?!?”
​
“Sir, yes, sir!” All 20 voices shouted back through the comms in perfect synchronization.
​
Tens could feel as his heart rate picked up in anticipation as his mind became perfectly clear. Only a few hundred meters below him he could clearly see the highlighted outlines of each of the mechanized walkers he was following towards the ground below. Judging by the angle of their approach, the direction of the planet's rotation, and current placement of the day-night terminator line, they would be hitting their drop zone just as the sun would begin to rise. Though that wasn’t necessarily the intention when planning out this training drop onto the Kyim'ayik’s new colony world, the Nishnabe warrior was looking forward to seeing the sunrise on a new planet. As he watched his countdown time slowly inch closer and closer to the fun part, he hoped that even if some of the women got sick, they would enjoy falling into hell and then being greeted by the morning sun.
​
“Remember what I said, just keep breath-” Tens almost had his own breath knocked out of lungs as his retro-thrusters began to fire. With a glee none of the women were expecting to hear as they were all rocked by the same forces, the young Nishnabe warrior let out a call of unbridled excitement. “Eeee!”
​
"What! The! Fuck!" One if the women shouted into the comms though, through the strain, it wasn't clear who.
​
"You got this!" Tens was able to get out in a surprisingly clear tone. "We're only just over 30 m/s2. This isn't even an emergency drop!"
​
"Come ladies!" Marz's voice, despite the pressure on her body, was just as strong and confident as it was at the very beginning. "You're deathworlders! You're Qui'ztar! You will endure!"
​
"You'll build up a tolerance with more drops." Tens added, his ear to ear grin audible as he tried to keep the women going. "Sound off! I need to hear you're still with me!"
​
"Drop… ugh! Drop mech 1! Still breathing!" The first women called out through labored breaths.
​
"Drop Mech 2! This is great!" The next voice, in stark contrast to the first, sounded like she was having the time of her life.
​
In sequence, each of the women called out their number and condition, some showing intense strain and others were clearing having a grand time. It didn't matter to Tens if some of them would need more training, or may not even be cut out for these kinds of missions in the future. The only thing the man cared about at this moment was making sure that they all landed safely. Though it only took a few seconds for each woman to signal they were still conscious and aware, and one a second or two between each one speaking, they were burning through the counter down timer just as quickly as they were beginning to burn through the upper atmosphere of the planet below them. Just before Tens's view of the deep blue oceans beneath him were obscured by the building ball of fire and the blue shimmering from his active shielding, a quaint chain of islands caught his eye. When Captain Marzima finally confirmed that she too was still conscious and able to maintain her professional demeanor, the countdown showed less than six minutes until they touched down.
​
Like angels of fury falling from the heavens, the 21 mechanized combat walker suits tore their way through the building layers of atmosphere, reentry plasma building with each passing moment. The preprogrammed descent path, having been calculated long in advance, coupled with the lack of incoming fire from the ground to ensured the group of first time jumpers and their experienced instructor had no need for evasive actions. In front of them was a clean and clear route, save for a few sparse clouds, which would see them land directly at the chosen site for the new Kyim'ayik colony. Even though something in the back of the man's mind was telling him not to trust the Arnehilians on the planet below, the idea that even the gray demons who had stolen his ancestors from their home weren't all evil warmed his soul. As the formation of mechs came closer and closer to their target, continuing their dramatic descent as if they were an unstoppable force sent by the Gods, the coastal clearing they were heading towards was highlighted by their HUDs.
​
"By the Matria- oof!" One of the women called out with a mixture of giggling and exhaustion. "It doesn't let up!"
​
"Just a couple more minutes!" Tens couldn't help the fact his volume was raised. None of them could. All he could do was shout words of encouragement to spur on the few who were still having trouble acclimating to the strain. "I know you're strong! I know you’re capable! Just keep breathing and you'll be the first Qui’ztar to see a sunrise over the shores of new colony world!"
​
"Yac'tloma! Chuiom! Are you still with me?!?" Marz's slightly more intense yell caused Tens to trigger the cockpit-view of both of the pilots who got called out.
​
"Yes, Captain!" Yac responded almost instantly and with a surprising amount of strength. "I think… mmm… I'm finally getting used to it."
​
"Chuiom!" Marzima shouted again just as a hologram of the Qui’ztar in question popped up on Tens's HUD.
​
"I'll wake her up." Tens chuckled as he sent a signal to Chu's mech to give her some mild stimulation.
​
"Fucker!" The woman was instantly awake and Tens could see through the holographic display that she wasn't happy. "Did someone just shock me?"
​
"No napping till after the debrief!" Tens retorted. "Your vitals are fine and we only got a minute or so left. Keep breathing and stay with me!"
​
Various readouts across Tens’s HUD were running through numbers faster than the holographic display could refresh. From altitude to effective airspeed, the Nishnabe warrior could see that everything was going perfectly and, despite some of his trainees showing signs of serious exhaustion, he was about as happy as he could be at that moment. Though one of the women did stop breathing for just a moment too long, and needed a bit of prodding to wake back up, the health data the man was cycling through indicated everyone seemed fine, no bones had been broken, and the strain hadn’t caused any unforeseen injuries. Regardless of how strong and capable he knew all of these women to be, and the fact that inertial dampers were reducing the felt forces to about a third of what they should be, each of these Qui’ztar deserved to relax after this. With only a few thousand meters per second of relative velocity left to burn off, and the retro-thrusters maintaining a cool 80 meters per second squared of deceleration, they would all get their moment of peace very soon.
​
“Is that the Arnehilian settlement?” Hutloxa’s voice cut in through the comms. “It looks really small.”
​
“Yeup, looks like.” Tens answered while bringing the relevant data up on his HUD. “Just a couple bigger buildings that look like greenhouses, some smaller ones that look like civilian structures, and really simple solar heating and wind energy systems.”
​
“My systems are telling me there aren’t any defensive systems.” Another of the warrior women added with hints of both confusion and doubt in her voice. “I’ve never seen Grays without some kind of weapons.”
​
“Remember the brief!” Marz shouted into the brief. “These aren’t Grays, they’re Greens. They’re entirely peaceful and they only have a few personal defense weapons that would barely break our skin.”
​
“I don’t -ugh-” It sounded like Chu was still struggling with the pressure she was under but was beginning to cope. “I don’t like this. Feels like a trap.”
​
“Their Mayor said he’s tried to keep his people clear of us.” Despite having more reservation about this situation than he cared to admit, Tens almost hoped he would have the opportunity to meet one of these supposedly peaceful Arnehilians. “But we’ll find out if he actually did it. According to the Admiral, the guy is a total softy and doesn’t like telling people what to do.”
​
“The ground is coming up fast!” One of the women nervously shouted as Tens noticed his relative velocity gauge showed the mach cones surrounding the mechs were about to dissipate and they would be on the ground in the next few seconds.
​
“Congratulations, ladies!” Tens shouted in reply as he saw the first mech halt its descent less than a meter off the ground before its massive metal feet could impact the soil. One by one each of the mech stopped just before impact and gently set themselves on to the surface of the planet. “That was your first trip into hell and I hope you enjoyed it!”
​
There was a chorus of cheers, sighs of relief, and what even sounded like a few tears as 19 of the 20 warrior women began to celebrate their accomplishment. As each of the mechanized walkers shed their re-entry assistance systems, the durable and combat tested thrusters impacted the ground in a series of dull thuds, and complete physical control over the suits was given over the pilots. While a many of the over five meter tall goliaths of metal and poly ceramics jumped up and down, throwing their fist in to air in excitement, some of the others had taken up more leaned forward positions to represent the posture their pilots would be in if they were out of their suits and catching their breath. As the orange and purple sunrise crested the horizon, the Nishnabe warrior couldn’t help but take a moment to simply enjoy the scene around him. Though Tens knew the celebration could and would likely keep going until the recovery shuttle landed to pick them up, he couldn’t help but notice that one of the mech seemed to be staring at the treeline of the clearing.
​
Quickly interfacing with the sensor system networked into his own, it soon became quite obvious what Captain Marzima was staring at. Just a few dozen meters away, just at the edge of the treeline surrounding the clearing, were four beings which were quickly highlighted on Tens’s HUD and registered as Arnehilian biosignatures. With a quick zoom and directed scan, it became immediately obvious that a small group of children had stuck away from settlement to watch the mechs land. Though they looked quite clean, well fed, and properly cared for, Tens couldn’t shake the feeling that these small, dull-gray beings were somehow different from the silver-skinned bastards whom he hated. It may have been the more healthy, full-figured appearance of their more human-like frames, the simple olive-drab clothing they wore, or possibly even just the more natural appearance of their skin, but they didn’t seem evil at all. Despite the somewhat suspicious nature of beings trying to keep themselves hidden, a smile formed on the Nishnabe warrior’s face as he walked his mech over towards them.
​
“Hey kids! I can see you!” Tens shouted through his suit’s external speaker system which prompted the children to try to duck behind cover. “The sensors already have you tagged as innocent. You don’t have to hide.”
​
“Report.” Admiral Atxika’s commanding voice cut into the comms link even though she already knew exactly what was going on.
​
“Ah, just some kids.” Tens quickly replied with an unbothered tone. “Probably got told to stay away and then did what kids do.”
​
"I'll contact Mayor Harideth and have him come collect these wayward youth." Atxika replied a bit softer. "Make sure they're safe and uninjured. This planet does have its share of predators."
​
"You got it." There was real excitement from the warrior as he closed the distance to where the children were still cowering behind cover. "Hey kids, are you alright over there?"
​
The only reply Tens received as he stopped just a few of his mechs long paces away from the treeline was silence. Despite their attire blending surprisingly well with the lush green forest that surrounded them, the children's attempt to hide behind a large bush was weak at worst and endearing at best. Seeing as they were obviously still afraid of the giant metal machine that was standing just a few meters away, Tens took the initiative, lowered his mech down to a kneeling position, and triggered the cockpit opening procedure.
​
"Don't be scared." Tens shouted with a caring voice from his now open cockpit. "I've got some snacks for you if you come out."
​
"But… you're an angel…" One of the children was slowly lifting their head above the bush as they spoke.
​
"And angels only fall on tyrants and oppressors!" Another child added with an absolutely adorable, squeaky voice while joining the first with their head poking above the bush.
​
Tens shifted his eyes between the two, unsure of how to respond, but very glad that both children seemed perfectly fine beyond their fear and apprehension. As the other two slowly rose, the Nishnabe warrior opened a small compartment in his cockpit and moved to pull out the promised snacks.
​
"We… we aren't oppressors…" The child who spoke first was clearly still very concerned about why these angels had fallen so close to her settlement. "Are we?…"
​
"No, no, no!" Tens quickly answered in the sweetest voice he could muster. "You are innocent children, little ones! You have done nothing wrong. Now, you can eat candied fruit, right?"
​
"Yes!" The two youngest children shouted in perfect, ecstatic unison.
​
"But…" The first child, though she was now eying the small packets of treats that Tens had in his hand, obviously still had her reservations. "If we aren't oppressors… Why did you fall so close to our village? Are there oppressors nearby?"
​
"Ooohhh!" The realization of what was scaring the young girl hit the man like a falling brick. "No, no, no, don't worry, sweetheart. We're just training. Angels have to practice falling so we can do our jobs perfectly when we are called to."
​
"Huh…" The gray, scaly skinned little girl only looked concerned for a second longer before a huge smile formed across her face and her large blue eyes began to sparkle. "I guess that makes sense. And you all were so beautiful as you fell! Like a wing of fire falling to the ground with the fury of the loving Old Gods!"
​
"The Old Gods?" Tens half asked while motioning for the children to approach and collect their snacks. "But, more importantly, what are your names, little ones?"
​
"I'm Valerovum." The first child, who was obviously the leader of this group, announced as she guided the rest from behind the bush and towards Tens and his mech. "And this is Teliuva, Carmoni, and Jokiat."
​
"It is a pleasure to meet you all." The man bowed slightly before handing the snack packets to Val who then distributed them to her posse. "Do your parents know you're out here? I'm sure they're worried about you."
​
"Umm…." Val and her gang's eyes grew wide as they realized they might get in trouble for wandering so far away from the safety of their village. However, as if on cue, a new voice called out from the forest behind them.
​
"Valerovum! Teliuva! Carm-" It sounded like a man was desperately crying out for the young children.
​
"Over here!" Tens shouted back as loud as he could. "They're safe!"
​
In the few moments it took for rustling of branches and leaves to close the distance to where Tens and the children were waiting, the kids had already opened their snacks and begun savoring the sweet treats as if it were the very first time they had ever eaten something so sweet. When the olive-drap clad Arnehilian Mayor burst through the bramble, he quickly came to a frozen stop as he saw the four children eating their snacks in front of the Nishnabe warrior and his mechanized walker.
​
"Mayor Harideth!" Jokiat, the smallest of the four children, ran over the older being, wrapped one of his legs in a tight hug, and then offered the packet of candied fruit up towards him. "This angel has the best snacks I've ever had!"
​
"They aren't-" The Mayor began before quickly cutting himself off. "Oh, is that right, Jokiat?"
​
"Yes, yes! You have to try one!" The small child raised the packet of snacks even further towards the Mayor’s dull-gray face.
​
"They're just candied fruits." Tens clarified after seeing the hints of apprehension on Harideth's face. "They're high in vitamins and sugar content."
​
“Tha- Thank you!” Harideth took one of the slices of dried, semi-hardened fruit from the package then gave Tens a polite bow before patting Jok on the head lovingly. As he took a delicate bit of the sweet treat, his eyes suddenly grew just as wide as the children’s and he looked like he was eating the most delicious thing he had ever tried.
​
“Good, right?” The Nishnabe warrior was doing his best to be friendly towards these members of a species that, in any other circumstance, he would have already killed. “I always keep a few packets in my mech just in case I get hungry on a mission.”
​
“This is wonderful!” The mayor confirmed before bowing again and then redirecting his attention towards the group of children. “Now children, we were worried sick about you! There are predators in this forest. Think about how your mothers would cry if something bad were to happen to you. Let’s get you back to the village before one of those predators finds us.”
​
“I can escort y’all, if yah want.” Tens chimed in with a genuinely pleasant tone and smile on his face. “I wouldn’t want anything happening to these adorable little ones. If there are predators in this forest, they wouldn’t dare try to attack y’all if me and Loud Bark are with you.”
​
“Oh, that-” Harideth was about to respectfully decline when Jok interrupted him.
​
“The angels protect the innocent!” The small child’s shout was quickly followed up by the rest of the children repeating the phrase in near perfect unison. “The angels protect the innocent!”
​
“That…” The Mayor looked down into Jok’s eyes and saw a sense of hope and serenity that touched his soul before he turned back towards Tens. “That would be quite kind and generous of you. I would truly appreciate it.”
​
“Tsss! Don’t worry about it!” Tens was all smiles at the prospect of being able to witness a truly peaceful Arnehilian settlement. “It’s gonna be another 30 to 40 minutes before the recovery shuttle gets here, another 20 to 30 minutes to load up all my trainees, and then they can just come pick me up from your village. Besides, angels protect the innocent, right?”

tw: talk of periods & bottom growth
im 1.5 years on t and really thinking about getting off of it, but im super conflicted.
soo, when i first started t i was taking shots. i was super receptive to them and my voice was within the male range after about 3-4 months, i got a decent amount of bottom growth, and my periods stopped (these were the changes that i was most looking forward to). everything was going great, except for the severe panic attacks that i would get once a week every time i had to stab myself. my shots were giving me so much anxiety that i just couldnt do them anymore.
so, about 7-8 months in, i switched to gel. my periods immediately started back up and i started to rapidly lose my hair (idk if this is a product of me switching to gel or if this is due to me just being on t in general; probably the latter though). i am now on finesteride, and it has been super expensive paying for both t and finesteride; its especially frustrating when i start to consider that im paying so much just for them to combat each other.
no matter how much i up my gel dose, my period does not go away, and (idk if anyone else has experienced this) but my cramps are Fucking Awful. like i never had period cramps like this before t.
i have not experienced any positive effects since switching to gel - my voice is the same, no more bottom growth, and no noticeable fat redistribution. at this point, it seems like im only taking t just to experience painful periods and have all of my hair fall out...which fucking sucks.
i am considering stopping t after i get top surgery (hopefully soon) since i think i need to be on it just for insurance purposes. this will hopefully help with the severe period pains and hair loss...
however, while i cant imagine any physical negative effects of stopping t at this point, since i am still getting my periods anyway and i havent had much of any fat redistribution (the non-permanent effects)...i am still conflicted because i like knowing that i'm at least on it, even if the effects arn't ideal. i think when i get off it i might feel like 'less of a man', but i recognize that this is totally internalized stuff that i need to work through and its just difficult. it's also super frustrating that this is something i wanted for so long and now its going to end like this.
anyways, thanks for reading this long ass post. i guess i mainly just wanted to vent and maybe talk to other guys who have gone/ are going through something similar. any advice is also appreciated :)

In 1997, I was a 5-year-old starting my first day at Powell Elementary School in Florence, Alabama. As a child of immigrant parents, I didn’t know a lick of English and I was very angry to be in a completely different world. My poor teacher, Mrs. Debbie McFall, was so patient with me even though she couldn’t understand what I wanted. I was so sure I was saying the correct English word for water so I became increasingly frustrated before completely breaking down and crying. My teacher was so patient the whole time before realizing I wanted water thanks to another little boy in class. After that, my teacher made sure to make Kindergarten a wonderful place for me. I started learning English and making friends. But what I remembered the most is her taking me to her home after school (with my parents permission of course). Her house was like a paradise for children. She had toys galore and so many cats and dogs to play. I remember watching Blues Clues over and over again. She would later give me her copy, which I still have today. One day after school, we found a stray cat and I asked her if she could give it a home, so she picked up the kitty and took her with us.
I moved in 2000 and have never been able to contact her again. My school also does not exist anymore. I would love nothing more to see her again and thank her so much. I have never forgotten her how she made a scary-looking world a loving place for me.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Ko-fi
"So, tell me about yourself." The female alien from the planet Azegon T-45 said to Terry. She was tall about 6'6 with silver teeth, purple eyes and caramel skin like butter. Her hair was actually part of her skin that had split off into several ends on top of her head and were all a crimson hue. She regarded him above her plate of 'Hungiu' A dish Terry knew nothing about but looked to resembled a foot dipped in frosting to his human eyes.
Terry peered over a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. What she'd said weighed heavily on his soul, what could he possibly tell her that would make her see him as a man of value? He'd recently lost his job after his boss walked in on him masturbating in his cubicle. He had no friends except the mailman who brings his mail and talks about shagging his neighbour's wife. He often wondered whether he should regard the mailman as a friend for confiding in him about his neighbour's promiscuous wife. His rent was due last month so for the past few weeks he'd been avoiding his landlord by jumping in through the back window of his apartment that he always left open, never using the front door. He also might be having hemorrhoids which he needed to check soon. All in all, his life was a disaster and he'd only agreed to this date after his mailman had assured him that Azegon T-45 women had the ability to relieve stress during sex.
"During sex they secrete a hormone that's like cocaine that eradicates your worries and lowers your stress levels for hours on end. They'll only bang you if you show them you're a man of value though" His mailman had said before hooking him up with the number of an Azegon T-45 woman. With the galactic federation linking planets with thousands of sentient life hence broadening an individual's possibilities, Terry still wondered why he felt stuck and in need of shagging an alien in order to have some semblance of what happiness is. But how would he come across as a man of value? He was by far the most apathetic man in the universe, he didn't care about anything and that's probably why he'd started masturbating at work, at first he'd done it for the thrill that later evolved into a habit of which he was curious to see whether he'd get caught. He did get caught, just as he was climaxing. It was a sticky affair.
The alien surveyed him, waiting for a response. He cleared his throat. "Sorry, you wanted to know something about me? Well, yesterday I woke up to the sound of birds chirping at my window. It sounded like music to anyone else's ears but to me it was a disturbing sound. I went to the window and sure enough, several birds were lined on a branch in a tree outside my apartment. Singing their God awful songs, I suddenly got angry and grabbed a shoe and hurled it at them. The birds dispersed then I realized I needed my shoe back. I climbed out of the window in my boxers and vest to retrieve the shoe only to bump into a man coming out of my neighbour's house, the man was my mailman, he'd just come from fucking my neighbour's wife, he approached me and told me about it." Terry took a sip of the cognac in hand. "So there I was, outside my apartment in my boxers with a shoe in hand, talking to a man who was zipping up his pants while telling me of the reason his zipper had been down in the first place. It was at that moment that I realized my life is shit. It came as an epiphany, everything pulled up together and the realization of great truth hit me. My life is shit and you know what the worst thing was?"
She leaned forward. "What?"
"The birds, they were still singing their God awful song."
"Are you those people who hook up with Planet Azegon T-45 aliens for the stress we relieve during sex?" She asked. Her purple eye rapidly scanning him up and down.
Terry leaned back in his chair. "I jerk off at work, got fired the other day for doing it. Thing is, I wanted to be fired. So there I was beating my meat and the manager walks in just as I'm climaxing, I do it standing up so I can look at people's faces across the cubicles, I mastered how to beat my meat without my entire body moving with the jerking motion. I normally catch someone's eye from across the cubicles as I climax but the manager stepped right in and I turned and busted a nut all over him. You know what I did immediately after?"
"What?"
"I laughed. It was the funniest thing in the world and it got me fired, irony."
"You're creepy."
"Tell me about yourself." Terry said, leaning back in his chair.
"I'm the fourth born of the litter." She stared. "We're born in litters on planet Azegon T-45 and—"
"What does the 45 stand for?"
"What?"
"The 45 in Azegon T-45, what does it stand for? I hate the number 45, takes me about 45 minutes to fall asleep, when I was caught jerking off the manager gave me a tongue lashing for 45 minutes and my mailman wears an undershirt with the number 45 printed on it. I hate that number."
"It's the number of our position on the conveyer galactic belt." She answered.
"Oh, that's nice."
"You're a weird man."
"And you were born in a litter, can't you see the connection between us? Me with my weird implications about existence. You and those purple eyes that were born in a litter." Terry said and smiled.
"You like my purple eyes?" She asked.
"No, I don't care about eyes."
"Oh"
"You know what I do like? The fact you can take away stress during sex. You can make a fortune as a prostitute." Terry said with a laugh.
"Excuse me?" She retorted, a hint of anger to her voice.
"There's so many men who are stressed out, yet you only give in to men of value. Why don't you just place value on the act itself and become rich? Then you'll seek men of no value whom you'll find plenty of."
"You jerk! I'm not a whore!" She flung her dish at him, the foot like meat with frosting hit him on the face and slid down his nose. She then stood up, "You're a sick man of no value." She walked away from the table.
"There's plenty of us around." Terry said to her retreating back. He checked his watch, the date had taken exactly forty five minutes. "Damn it." He cursed.

Recently I’ve been realizing more and more how dependent I am on alcohol. I have these really good days or even weeks where I keep the drinking to a minimum and feel great. Even when I do a bit of drinking during these times, I feel that it is a negligible amount where it won’t affect me too much the next day so I can still go to the gym and focus on academic work. But then there are those few times every so often (maybe once or twice a month) where I find myself going too far. This is how it starts: I find an opportunity to drink (no schoolwork that weekend or I’m on a longer break period due to a federal holiday, just anything that opens my mind to the idea of cracking something open). It goes one of three ways from here, either I get tired and stop drinking and turn in for the night, drink until I am drunk and then go to bed, or I get past that wall and continue drinking and end up going over the top and doing unwise things that put myself or others at risk and also have a high potential to affect my relationships. I usually find that I don’t fall into the second or third unless I am around other people or talking to people long-distance. For a while, I thought ‘I’m drinking because the people around me are too’ but realized that that isn’t always the case. It doesn’t matter if they’re drinking or not, I’m a very social person and drinking for me has become something of a social activity even through phone conversations with people who may not be drinking at all. I used to rarely drink but over the last few years I’ve just been picking it up more and more. I believe one of the reasons for this is because of the environment I’m in. There are a lot of stigmas in my job field and, unfortunately, I’ve given into a few of them. One of which is the widely accepted consumption of alcohol. I asked myself at the beginning of this year ‘how much more am I drinking in comparison to myself four or five years ago’ (before I had this job) and it definitely opened my eyes to how I may have developed this dependence. Up until March of this year, I have been in a mostly lax work environment so the aftermath of my drinking habits didn’t feel super overwhelming in my day to day. However, fast forward to today and I’m in a very high stress environment now due to some major career changes that I’ve been passionate about chasing, yet extremely anxious about succeeding in. Now I’m feeling the affects of my drinking habits and I see the problems they cause and I want to just completely stop. But I find that I tell myself these excuses to continue, to pursue the opportunities to drink and that it won’t be “that bad”. Sure sometimes it isn’t, but the times that it is have greatly diminished my mental health. So recently I decided to seek therapy because some of the stresses of work were getting too high and juggling that with my drinking habits was simply not the way to succeed in my current goals. Through talking with medical professionals, they of course pinpointed alcohol consumption as a major stressor and advised me to not partake in it so often. They also referred me to a stress support group and that has been helping but it isn’t an AA support group or anything like that so I find myself just wanting to find a group or community of people who have struggled as I have (and still am) with alcohol. To conclude this rant, I’ve been trying to keep drinking down to a minimum, but even with this mindset, the minimum turns into “one more… one more… one more…” So here I am, seeing the folly of my ways, yet somehow in my head I do not feel compelled to change in earnest. I do drink less than I used to but I’m realizing that that isn’t the point of why I want to change, and that just drinking less isn’t going help me in the long run. I want to stop. I need to stop. Where do I start? Any advice is appreciated.

Me and my girlfriend are getting married in the fall and currently our plan is to get a house in the next year an a half, were currently trying to figure out what we can afford. With my job, I make just under 60k, great benefits, 401k and a company vehicle (so I don't have to pay for gas or insurance at all, which is a huge benefit). She makes 55k yearly with good benefits. Monthly expenses : Food - 400$ Her student loans : 500$ Social outings : 300$ Rent - 1000$ Extra - 300$ Her car payment/insurance/gas - 400$ Petcare - 100$ We both have been focusing on pay down our credit cards each month and have a combined amount of 7k. So currently 3000-3200$ is what were spending on average each month. We both are in our mid 20s and we both have a credit score of around 720 so hopefully well be able to get a good rate.
Based on these metrics we think that a house around the 230k - 250k range for a 30 year mortgage and a 10,000$ down payment seems doable. Does that seem like a reasonable range for us to be looking into based on our finances?

Not sure how best to explain the situation, as it affects most relationships in my life, but I'll try and keep it relevant and precise. There is alot of history and context missing in the post, in the spirit of keeping it readable. Happy to answer any questions in the comments.
Over the last year or so, my social battery/patience/whatever you'd like to call it has plummeted rapidly. This has been accompanied by a generalised lack of interest in hobbies that used to bring me great joy, and an oppressive feeling of purposelessness. I'm aware that these are symptoms of depression, and have been trying to seek therapy for both this and what I suspect to be symptoms of an attention disorder of some nature. It is difficult to find therapists/psychiatrists in my country that are professional and effective, so I have not had much luck there.
Now, to the problem at hand. My girlfriend of a year is unable to offer any kind of emotional support when I'm having a bad spell. She tries, but her words either fall flat or somehow end up making me feel worse. I try to explain that I'm not in the sort of headspace where I can effectively communicate what exactly I need, and that what she's doing is not helping, but it devolves into an emotionally exhausting back and forth, with her thinking I'm attacking her and ultimately me being forced to put whatever it is I'm feeling to one side so that I can make her feel better. Obviously, not conducive to what was intended as an open discussion.
This then leads to me having to take long spells of space, because she is not okay with letting me be when I want to be alone, despite me having explained to her that she probably can't help. Naturally, she usually does not respect that I want to be alone, and loopholes/forces her way back in after a day or two.
Right now I'm on the second day of space and feel as drained and empty as before. I do not know what to do here. I understand that there may be a lack of understanding on her end because I went through a whole lot of parental trauma as a child, (and still do to this day) and she had a comparatively problem free upbringing, but I don't know how to make her understand or find a middle ground that prevents a buildup of resentment for me, and feelings of inadequacy for her. I know she means well, which is why the complete ineffectiveness throws me off. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR - I'm going through a rapidly worsening mental health crisis, and don't know what to do about my girlfriend actively making it worse despite being well intentioned.

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
● ABOUT ME ●
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
● INTERESTS ●
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
✨️Writing✨️
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
✨️Music✨️
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
✨️Photography✨️
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
✨️TV/Movies✨️
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
☆ CAREER ☆
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
☆ SCHOOLING ☆
I'm officially a college student at 25. Yay! Feel free to ask me more about it, I'd love to talk.
☆ ET CETERA ☆
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
● ABOUT YOU ●
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in poly/ENM. I'm 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
● WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR ●
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
● OUR DYNAMIC ●
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you.
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
● IN CONCLUSION... ●
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!

• Dreamer

(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)

First of all, I support the blackout, and believe it should go on indefinitely. However, that will not be my decision, as I will be removing myself as head moderator, and deleting all my comments.
I fundamentally believe that if you don't like how a site treats its users, then the only real leverage you have is not to participate. Especially moderators, who put in the hours to make the site enjoyable for the average reader. Without moderators, most spaces on the internet are spammy, hateful, and bleak. That being said, it’s not like I plan to nuke this community. If paratactical and the rest of the modteam want to continue fighting the good fight, I’m not going to stand in their way.
It was difficult to articulate my thoughts without falling back to a basic "the only winning move is not to play," which can also be fairly interpreted as "taking your ball and going home." I don't really care how other people characterize it, but it's personally annoying to me to not be able to explain my position.
Then I read the Corey Doctorow essay, The Enshittification of Tiktok: How Platforms Die which clarified my ideas immensely, so I thought I'd share, in my last act of content creation.
It's really worth reading, but the outline is this:

1) a platform needs users to exist, so at first, it serves the users, until the users are locked in.
2) then, it needs advertising to be profitable, so then it serves businesses, until the businesses are locked in. Obviously, this is unenjoyable for the users, but the platform deserves to make money, right? So, we try to ignore the fact that we are the product, and our allegiance to the platform is actually just a tool to maximize value extraction.
3) Finally, the investors want to get paid, and that means they have to maximize the value extracted from the advertisers AND the users. Which is where we are today on reddit. Spez can't have 20% of the users not being served ads, even if they are the power users-- moderators, content contributors, or commentors.

Every Eyeball is Equal Under Spez

^{Except /blind. Sorry about your luck!}
People like to point out Participation Inequality, the fact of life that 90% of users are lurkers. But from an enshittification perspective, it doesn't matter that they're lurkers. As long as their eyeballs land on ads, they're worth just as much as the most active supermod.
Or are they?
I left Instagram once I stopped being able to see only the people I followed, in reverse chrono order. Facebook even earlier than that, because they started hiding the posts of the local businesses I WANTED to follow-- how else will I see which act is playing on Thursday nights at my local watering hole?
Clearly, Facebook and Instagram still exist. Whether they are enjoyable to visit or engage on is neither here nor there. So the 'death' of platforms that Doctorow posits is more of an existential death -- the platforms lose what made them dynamic and engaging, which is the creativity and authentic engagement of their userbase.

Rumors of Reddit’s imminent death are exaggerated*

^{*due to the skewed incentives in the venture class}
Reddit won't die evenly. /AskHistorians, which has extremely high moderation standards, and is already struggling under the huge influx of nonsense ChatGPT comments will probably lock itself down.
More casual communities, like /DIY or /Gardening, will probably still enjoy authentically user-generated content, and subs like /whatisthisthing and /tipofmytongue can continue to have casual commentary that is simple to produce (in contrast to long-form, thoughtful, in-depth contributions like in AskHistorians)
And of course, that's the experience of reddit as it currently exists. But with more limited mod tools (see this AskHistorians thread for receipts on how long reddit has been promising effective tools for) I'd expect to see a steep decline in the quality of the content in aggregate.
Think about the number of repost bots. The number of comment-stealing bots. The amount of astroturfing and spam that you see on the daily, the stuff that gets through the current tools. Now take those tools away.
I mean, it'll be like Facebook, only with more porn. So clearly that won't be a dealbreaker for a lot of users. But it's a dealbreaker for me.
But of course it’s not like they’re going to turn the servers off. FFS, even Twitter still has the lights on, in spite of its laughable mismanagement. They’re not going to turn the servers off until they’ve extracted every bit of profit they can. How long did Google+ stay online until someone mercifully pulled the plug? 2019

So long, and thanks for all the fish

I don’t need to convince you to take your ball and go home. Stay if you like. I’ll probably maintain at least one open account to occasionally post on /whatisthisbug, in the same way that I occasionally log into Facebook to check out baby pictures shared by people I went to high school with.
But it won’t be my home.
It won’t be a place I commit time and energy and engagement to. I won’t follow subs I’m expert in and try to contribute answers when people ask questions. I won’t create content to share, and I definitely won’t moderate. I will treat it like the extractive relationship that it is-- get what I want out of the platform while leaving as few of my personal details behind for them to leverage.
It’s kind of ironic, actually, that the reddit that hates personal promotion will create a site where the only people who will bother making content will be doing it with the intent to monetize it somehow. (Which I am all for! The makers and indie creators who are doing the work of really top tier content creation. Rather you do that than PPC!)
I only want to make you aware, as I was pleased to discover, that it’s not that I am “getting too old” for a given platform, but simply that I remember when a given platform was less shitty than it is now.
And it's gotten shitty for a foundational reason, as inescapable as the turn of the seasons - the extractive nature of accepting VC funding means that the platform is obliged, little-by-little, to ruin it, in pursuit of investor returns.
To fix this you’d have to ban investing, which would simultaneously kill many of the weird moonshots we enjoy about the internet, past and present. So.

All you can do is pay attention to when your platform of choice passes your personal threshold of enshittening -- whether that’s Reddit, Twitter, or Facebook; Uber, Lyft, AirBNB; Amazon, eBay, Paypal -- and invest your energy into something new.

TLDR: he says he hates his life, he won’t accept help.
The background:
My boyfriend (m, 27) and I (f,32) have been together for about 5 years. He has ADHD and anxiety. He made a career switch last fall and he got his realtors license. I supported him through that emotionally and financially.
As we were warned when he first started the process to become a realtor, it is taking him a long time to become established. He does have 3-4 clients he is working with on a regular basis, but no luck yet with sales.
While he was getting his license and studying for the test, he quit his old job that he hated so he would have less stress and more time to focus on studying. Probably due to his ADHD, getting his license took a lot longer than he planned. He did not have any income during that time (about 3 months). After he passed his licensing exam, I practically had to beg him to get a part time job so he would at least have some income and stop going into further credit card debt. I tried to help him brainstorm options that I thought he would like and would be flexible for working as a realtor. He resisted for a bit and then suddenly announced he had a job in a local hardware store. He hates the job. And I feel like he resented me for making him get a job. They only give him his schedule a week at a time, and he isn’t allowed to use his phone while on register to talk to his clients.
Also of note, he lost his parents health insurance after his 26th birthday and has not signed up for any health insurance because it was “too expensive.” He has stopped taking his prescribed ADHD medication because it was “too expensive.” Which it was ridiculously expensive, but we did start using coupons to help with cost.
During all this, he has gained a significant amount of weight. I did as well, over the last few years, but am actively working on it. He has trouble committing to any lifestyle change for longer than a couple weeks. He tells me he is proud of my weight loss, but always follows it with a degrading comment about his own body.
He frequently tells me that he “should just go jump off a bridge.” He hates that he is “fat” and “poor.”
One of my flaws is that I try to solve everyone’s problems. So when he complains, I try to offer solutions. I’ve suggested helping him with his diet. That he can workout with me. That he find a second part time job to supplement his income. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain about something without doing anything to change the problem. He embodies this pet peeve lately.
I just don’t know what to do. When things are good, we have fun. We both love travel. We have a dog together. We live together. We have a great friend group. But I am at my wits end. I don’t know what to do. I am very tempted to tell him we both need to go to therapy, or I’m done. But I am worried what he will do if I leave him. When I ask him if he thinks anti depressants might be a good idea, he always replies that they are too expensive. When I suggest trying to find a different PT job, he just says “they’re all the same.”
We moved in together during the pandemic. I worry that the pandemic covered up some of these issues and made it so we stayed together longer than we should have.
Hopefully this is specific enough, but basically my question is, is there anything else I can do? I don’t think I want to give up yet, but I also don’t want to continue like this forever.

Hi fam,
Seeking literature/experiences on foremilk & hindmilk in breastfeeding - how significant is impact on growth, how soon after a feed do the breasts "reset", how many mL on average is foremilk vs hindmilk, etc?
I'm not sure if I'm asking the right questions exactly but here's the story -
My baby is now 10 days old and we have been exclusively breastfeeding. I collect small amounts from opposite breastfeeding in a haaka to build a small freezer supply, but would rather not have to do a lot of pumping. He seems to latch like a champ and has a strong suck (confirmed by LC in hospital and maternity home visit nurse). However he does fall asleep quickly - I have to poke and prod him to get him to feed for longer than 5-10 min - and he still cluster feeds a ton (we get a couple 2-3 hour stretches each day but often we will finish a feed and he will be rooting again 20-45 min later, and do this multiple times over the course of several hours). Lots of poops (yellowish brown) & pees, although quite gassy and fussy.
At the hospital we were told to offer both breasts with each feed, although at our follow up yesterday he had not gained much weight since discharge and the nurse figures he is not getting enough hindmilk due to his snacky feeding pattern and switching breasts frequently. We were advised to encourage longer feeds just from one side at a time and even to offer the same side throughout a cluster feed window. I have no problem doing this, it's just so hard not knowing what he's actually getting or whether offering an "emptier" breast 45 minutes after already feeding from that side will be sufficient...
A lot of articles online about foremilk/hindmilk imbalance are basically just opinion pieces from various breastfeeding organizations, lots of disagreement about whether it's a "thing" but not a lot in the way of actual research. There might not be, so any anecdotes from people with similar experiences are welcome as well. TIA!

[Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/r5BAazr.jpg)
In 2035, a housing crisis forces ordinary people to live in illegal “underhousing,” run by petty criminals called the Candy Daddies and Mommies. Jemma, a graphic novelist, struggles to deflect a trickle from the great river of wealth into her own pocket. She wants to buy time for creative work and she longs to move out of her illegally parked van. Her job in a rejuvenation clinic for the ultra-wealthy is never going to solve her money problem. Jemma has an entrepreneurial idea that might save her, but it is not exactly legal and it requires help. Oz, a biologist, believes the roots of the housing crisis are systemic: in their competition with each other, the ultra-wealthy use any means necessary, from lobbying to crime, to acquire more assets. Each year they suck up a greater percentage of the national GDP.
Oz and a group of scientist friends pursue a radical solution, a scientific cure for the dread disease of billionaire-ism. They understand that there will be pushback from the authorities, against the systemic change they hope to initiate. But how extreme will the opposition be?
When Jemma and Oz meet, Jemma seeks individual liberation while Oz pursues societal change. However, they are alike in that each sees the other as a resource to exploit.
Then, they fall in love. That might change their behavior, but their plans are already in motion.
Milton Freedpuppy says, “This gets economics, finance, and housing all wrong!”
• TRIGGERS: mild sex, some violence during demonstrations
• I am sending out ARCs now
• The date you expect your ARC team to finish the reading and submit their reviews by: Expect to publish June 23, but finishing and reviews any time is fine with me.

Hey guys and gals. Love the sub just hoped I wouldn't ever need to post. But here we are.
First off I am in MN, USA.
I have owned my home since 2015. During 2020 (june) I had a spinal surgery and during my time away from home (I stayed with my parents for assistance after the surgery) my down stairs toilet sprung a leak and left about 2 inches of standing water for quite a while.
I called a water clean up company and they came out and dried the place and removed the ruined carpeting and such.
I then made an insurance claim and they went about getting the company and setting the repairs up. The repairs were done and everything looked great.
Fast forward to this week and I am looking to sell and got my first offer. It was contingent on the inspection and I didn't believe there would be much of an issue.
I got the results back last night and there is black mold in behind the water heater. It is about 1.5 wide and from the baseboard to about 8 inches up the drywall.
Now the company should have cut 2.5 feet of the lower drywall on all lower level walls and replace to prevent this exact situation. But they neglected to pull out the water heater and replace the water ridden wall behind it.
Now, I know that i should have checked everywhere but with my back issues getting my body to contort to the way it would need for me to see that section of the wall just wasn't (and still isn't) possible for me to accomplish.
I am pretty sure that the offer will fall through and my real estate agent did say i would need to get that remedied before putting the house back on the market.
I am unable to reach my hoa insurance agent until Monday. And I kind of feel at a loss as what to do about this situation. I want to call the company who did the work but I am worried they could just claim the mold was from after their "repairs".
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

For the past four years, I have been grappling with a excessive hair loss which is a very distressing issue.
It all began unexpectedly during my teenage years, and since then, it has persisted relentlessly, causing me great concern and leaving me desperate for a solution. I have ruled out stress or nutritional deficiencies as the cause, as my doctors have not indicated any such underlying factors and I take all my vitamins. While I have tried using oils and biotin supplements, they only provide temporary relief. Whenever I take biotin, my hair does start to regrow, only to fall out again after a few weeks.
Do you have any tips or tricks that have worked for you? Given my ongoing struggle, I'm eager to seek any tips or advice that may have worked for others who have faced a similar predicament. I'm open to any suggestions at this point.
Also I've been wondering, could the shampoo I'm using be playing a role in all of this? Throughout the years I have changed my shampoos, but maybe the current one I am using is also unknowingly contributing to my hair loss?
Thank you in advance!