I joined a server today to find a study partner as I was finding stats difficult to study with and I found this server where people study together with their cams on and muted, at first I was conscious of doing it but then got some self confidence in myself thinking no one is going to look at you just join in and try to concentrate. As I did I see so many serious face idk kinda scary making faces while studying (prolly because they had something else opened up side by side) but I stayed there for a while looking at this faces and simultaneously trying to also study but I just couldn't proceed to do it. It was honestly a waste of time until you find one person to vc with and later teach each other the respective subjects which is a lot more productive than this stupid shiz.

Bit of about me:
i uses to struggle with looking people in the eyes. Since I was a child till now. I've always felt that was something deeper when I would look at someone's eyes. I could feel emotion and most of the time, as a child, the adults around me had so much going on that I just couldn't look at their eyes. It was too much.
Today, I'm 26 and I sometimes still struggle with this. I feel as though I am getting information that they never allowed me to feel/see. I have learned to keep it brief and even send some love when looking at a strangers eyes.
The beautiful thing is that I can also see the beauty In someone's life through their eyes too. I can see when someone may have found peace.
Questions: Do you see/feel another through their eyes? Also, what happens to ones eyes when they have had an awakening or are on the journey to themselves ? I see such a clear change in their eyes. It's amazing

by user
take practice tests
My background: liberal arts degree followed by a decade of HR work in a variety of employers - everything from quasi-government non-profit, private for-profit, public, union. I’ve primary been in generalist roles, most recently in a recruiting specialist role, and have yet to have any sort of management role. I’m naturally an intelligent person who is a good test taker.
My prep: I took a 13 week course through my local community college that followed the HRCP program. The instructor has a pretty good S/PHR pass ratio for her class participants - around 70% depending on the year. I followed along with lectures and did some of the readings, and most of her practice tests (for each section she gave us hundreds of practice questions).
I also got the S/PHR for Dummies Book (if you do this, get it BEFORE you start studying. I didn’t open it until my prep course was done and felt like a lot of the information was useless), and PHR and SPHR Complete Practice Tests: 2018 edition - both of those are by Sandra Reed.
I ALSO used the PocketPrep app and paid for the full version - absolutely worth it for me.
My experience: Basically I did what I did in college - paid attention in the lectures, took notes, and then crammed at the end. All together i spent probably 60 hours studying (I also have a young toddler and a demanding career, unless i starting missing out on stuff i don’t think i could have done more).
I don’t feel like I necessarily learned anything, more like refined my knowledge - I credit that all the way to my extremely varied HR resume. But the practice exams were key. Answer as many practice questions that you can get your hands on, and from different sources. I probably answered nearly 3000 practice questions over the course of my studying. Answering questions from DIFFERENT sources is key - I was getting exposed to new topics/terms as recently as yesterday, all from questions
When I got questions wrong, I tried to figure out WHY and that’s so important, but ultimately I was scoring around 65% on my practice exams. I finally just decided I couldn’t possibly learn more, ultimately I would be happy no matter what happened (in the course of my prep work I finally got the gumption to pressure my boss for a promotion which happened), and I just had to do it.
While taking the exam I felt confident, but also not. I always felt confident with practice exams and clearly hadn’t done that well. I flagged maybe 30 questions for review and finished with a few minutes to spare (my practice tests were a lot faster - around 2 hours). But, I hit submit, had the most excruciating 5 minute wait ever, and passed!
It was hard. The prep was hard. Now that I’m done i think I overprepared but I would have never known that before. I’m so glad it’s done!

I (31f) had a man (33m)who was sweet, caring, attentive, generous, hilarious, and great in the sack. We would travel every month or two, between us we made great money and were still saving for a house. On road trips we would make up/play games and keep each other smiling the whole time. He could read my mind half the time, any fragment of an obscure reference one of us threw out would instantly be recognized and laughed about. He had this, in his words, Irish catholic mindset where he couldn't imagine ever leaving/steeping out on a partner. That made me feel safe and secure and loved even when I'm grumpy and acting out a bit. He always pushed me to want more from life and work towards my goals, he's very supportive.
But he needed so much attention. It was very stereotypically role reversed, where I just wanted ro be left alone and he wanted to constantly have plans and be doing things. But I had to also do the things because he didn't want to do it alone. Every time I woke up it was 'what are we going to do today?' When I just wanted to enjoy a day off and burrito on the couch. After a few years it felt more like a chore than adventure. We had very different views on what love means to us and what we need from a partner. He also has endless wanderlust and gets itchy to jump state, when I deeply want a home and community. He would get all in his feelings about things that were accidental/miscommunication and be kinda petty about it. By the end I was so frustrated, but he had just had a breakthrough that he was being selfish and seemed like he was willing to work through it with me. It had just been too much for too long for me and my body shut down and didn't want his touch.
I chose to leave because ultimately I felt like after all of the compromises we would both have led lackluster lives. At the time it seemed to be a mercy to set him free to explore and find someone who wants to wander the world with him and share his passions. A good man like him deserves better.
It's been about 3 months and I am having regrets. Logically I remember that by the end I was almost crawling out of my skin with all of the expectations... But emotionally I am wondering if I've let my stubborn nature lead me to the greatest mistake of my life. If I had just been more flexible then we could have had a family and kids and lived different places and experienced new things together.
I honestly can't tell if I've thrown away my last chance at happiness and family. Usually I don't believe in looking back once something is over, but should I hit him up? Is that completely stupid?

Welcome to the Beta Bartering thread! Here you can look for a Beta, a Co-writer, or a Writing Buddy for your fic or offer your Beta services to fic authors.
Please note that you can request a beta reader even if you can’t offer anything in exchange, however it will increase your chances of finding a willing beta if you offer something in return.
The rules are straightforward.

• Make a comment below with the following information.
• Reply to people that you want to trade with. There is no one making matches for you, reach out to likely people in the thread.

If you're looking for a Beta, a Co-writer, or a Writing Buddy:

• Name and Link to your fic (if it's not published, link something else as an example of your writing).
• Tell us what fandom you're writing for.
• Can someone who isn't in your fandom make sense of your story?
• The genre of your fic - romance/smut/gen/mystery/horroetc.
• What you're looking for from a Beta or a Co-writer - GrammaStructure/Plot/Planning/Idea soundboard/etc.
• What your projected word count is.
• How frequently you update.
• What fandoms you are able/willing to beta for or what you can offer in exchange*.

Proposed options for no exchange wording:

• If you do not want to offer something in exchange, please leave a brief note that you are unable to offer anything at this time.
• Note: If you are unable to offer something in exchange at this time, please leave a brief note explaining.

If you're willing to Beta for someone:

• What fandoms you're well versed in or if you're willing to take on anything.
• Preferred genre/types of fics.
• Any subjects you're not willing to tackle.
• Types of Betaing you're good at or willing to try - GrammaStructure/Plot/Planning/Idea soundboard/etc.
• Minimum or maximum word count.
• One-off (single session) or ongoing Betaing.
• Time constraints. Do you have a fast turn-around time? Is it going to be more than a week for you to get back to an author with notes?
• What you'd like in exchange * for your services.

* Bartering Ideas!
Since some people want Betas but are too busy to reciprocate or aren't confident in their writing skills and some Betas don't write fics themselves, you can offer other things in exchange. Please do not offer monetary exchanges.
If you aren't sure what to offer, you can also open this up to the Beta to suggest a barter in exchange.
Here are a few ideas for bartering:

• Reciprocal Betaing (of course that's welcome!)
• Reading and commenting on their fics.
• Write a fic for a fandom/subject/pairing/brotp of their choice.
• Make fanart for them.
• Name an OC after them.
• Edit/give assistance with a non-fic project.
• Research help for this/future fics.

Feel free to get creative, people have many specialties they can draw on!
Here's a link to the previous ones just in case there's someone in there that catches your interest.

This is a true story it just happened 5 minutes before I had the idea to type this I was laying in my room watching tiktok and I have my window open at night cuz well it feels nice out and I start hearing ahh help ah help help and something else but idk how to describe it but this isn't the first time something weird has happened I was with my friend and me and him went in my woods and we found this old shack type thing and there were skulls of animals on the walls and a big pear of horns so he went to pry the horns off the wall cuz they were cool and when he got them off we heard some screach come from the left of us we don't know what it was but it was freaky but can someone tell me there edea's of what it could have been and just to note once again this is not fake it happened at 2:55am but does anyone know what it could have been?

I've stopped reading after the time skip to modern time, the combination of different time frame for the story with ongoing chapters after binging the whole story left sour taste for me.
​
From my preceptive the story ended after the big knockers fight with loose story points left open, everything after is "bonus content" to expand and flash the story/characters and a "what if" story.
​
Enough time have passed since then and I don't mind coming back, but only if it feels like it's advancing forward conclusion or it still going strong with no ending in sight?

B1538 - Export Finance & Project Investment Bill - Amendment Division

Due to its length, this Bill can be found here.
Opening Speech
Mr Speaker,
Firstly I want to say that this is a bill that has seen great passion and dedication by my colleagues who have worked relentlessly on contributing in their various areas of specialisation for what is a very esoteric and at times ‘finicky’ topic to address. Nonetheless, the contents of the bill they have produced is one we are proud of as this Government works its way to achieve its goals.
The Export Credit Agency of UK Export Finance has been under-utilised, if not forgotten by previous Governments. This is a key instrument in aiding economic growth and development, especially when productivity is a big drawback on the British economy. Our party made a promise to address the structural challenges to our economy and here we deliver directly to fix that. This bill emboldens our export finance agency to not just provide support to UK exporters, but allows us to finance crucial overseas project investment feeding into our own and global development goals.
Part 1 of this bill deals with the nature of export finance. We move in this part to make sure exporters (suppliers) get the immediate access to finance to spend and reinvest on key capital projects in which that finance would not be available for the likes of 90 to 120 days. Subsequently bringing a continuous and positive growth program that sees market development and improved business connections. By no means is this a form of state aid that grants the competing advantage within an industry regarding the production of goods or services against rivals, but allows for immediate credit and export guarantees through loans and not subsidies.
In regards to SMEs, export finance is undoubtedly an ideal way to help small and medium sized businesses that need the funds but have limited banking facilities and credit history. Key to Conservative policy is that unlocking of economic potential and the core value of equality of opportunity which is why this Government is fully launching itself in support of the backbone of our economy, which are small and medium sized enterprises.
What is key in such a redefining and emboldening of British investment capabilities is our commitment to net-zero and environmental sustainability which is why we will be ending any and all UKEF support for the fossil fuel industry in the coming months. This Government will move to utilise Export Finance and project investment underpinned by said sustainability goals and environmental commitments.
Part 2 of the bill focuses itself on the capabilities for project finance investment. We make thorough provisions that base itself around categorising sector areas (see Schedules 5, 6 and 7) deemed necessary for environmental impact assessments. By ensuring our project finance investments not only comply with environmental and social regulations but are thoroughly assessed for their impact, this Government works towards mutual sustainability goals.
We further go to provide the necessary provisions such as the adoption of the equator principles in the operations of UKEF - in accordance with 116 financial institutions across 37 countries. This is a necessary framework for all forms of financial institutions involved in project finance to ensure the necessary environmental, social and regulatory policy frameworks are in place when supporting global project development. This Government is committed to ensuring that all practices within our financial sector are in accordance with responsible and cooperative management practices. They further go to promote a common framework for global social and environmental standards in which developmental banks and export credit agencies (such as UKEF) increasingly draw on OECD common approaches.
Outlined by various corporations, international organisations and governing bodies, it is understandable that green finance will play a crucial role in global sustainable development and aiding the combat of climate change. The World Economic Forum estimates the value of green finance to reach $2.36 trillion this year in order to meet the needs of environmentalism and economic growth alongside it. Currently the USA and China, lead in this alongside the European Union implementing a green finance plan. Our Export Finance scheme is one that aligns itself with a clean growth strategy that helps further green and sustainable development, not just in Britain but globally. In a globalised world through promoting and facilitating a sustainable development plan in regards to our exports we help contribute to fostering more sustainable economic development internationally and projecting our values on this matter. This Government is proud to bring forward such an achievement in establishing and providing the means to promote and develop the necessary provisions for reaching sustainability in economic growth driven through export.
Amendment A01:
Amend the following Section titles to read:
Section 7: Transactions of Overseas Buyers
Section 8: Definitions
Section 9: Establishment of Project Categorisation
Section 10: Aims of Environmental Impact Assessments
Section 11: Project Environmental Impact Assessments Stipulations
Section 12: Adherence to The Equator Principles
Section 13: Powers of the Secretary of State in Project Investment
Section 14: Sustainable Development
Section 15: Extent, Commencement, and Short Title
EN: There is an accident in the numbering of the Bill as ‘Section 6’ is copied twice by mistake, the second Section 6 really should be Section 7, so this is just reordering the titles following to fit.
This Amendment is moved in the name of u/Hobnob88
Amendment A02:
Amend Section 2: subsection 3 to read:
(3) UK Export Finance’s mission shall be to advance prosperity by promoting UK exports through finance or insurance, adhering to the OECD Arrangement.
Amend Section 4: subsection 2(d) to read:

(d) a requirement that social, environmental, country and human risk due diligence processes are carried out by UKEF and any supporting agencies, in accordance to the OECD Agreement.

Amend Section 5: subsection 4(a) to read:

(a) the Loan Agreement is to require UKEF Supported Exporters to offer overseas buyers a minimum fixed interest rate offer (CIRR) valid for four months, and

Amend Section 5: subsection 4 to include 4(c):

(c) UKEF Supported exporters are to charge no less than the minimum premium rate for credit risk developed by UKEF to cover non-repayment risk.

Amend Section 6: subsection 4 to read:
(4) UK Export Finance is to provide immediate loans of no more than 80% of an individual applicant's owed invoice value, excluding local costs.
Amend Section 7: subsection 1(a) to read:

(a) transfer the remaining invoice value of up to 20% (see Section 6: subsection 4) back to the UKEF Supported Exporter, minus the pre-agreed service fee of Section 5: subsection 4b.

Amend Section 13: subsection 1 to include:

(c) to include UK Export Finance project support (in accordance with the entirety of this Act) within global project development frameworks requiring they too adhere to the Equator Principles.

EN: As the main author of the Bill, I noticed areas to improve greater wording clarity. Furthermore allowing the project investment scheme to be a part of eligible global project development frameworks such as the Blue-Dot-Network, or UN development operations by revising scope and framework adherence.
This Amendment is moved in the name of u/Hobnob88
This Division shall end on 10 June, 10pm BST
Peers may vote Content, Not Content, or Present.
Clear the Bar!

Hi guys! Waiting for my test results, gave the sample to my gp today. I’m quite confident it’s H Pylory.
My question is in the title. I’m going on holiday back to my home country on 17th, and will be living with my partner there. I started having symptoms about a month ago, spent a week on omeprazole, and after a recent very short, mild flare up I’m feeling quite well. Just some heaviness in the stomach and occasional constipation, but not much else.
I really want to spend time with my partner, and was wondering if kissing can cause problems for them? I searched Reddit and opinions lean more towards a “no”, but still want to make sure. I plan to use mouthwashes as well just in case. Would that be sufficient? I don’t know if I got it from them or someone else, but knowing that most people have it in their system, I don’t really know what to think. Would it be worth it for them to do a home h pylori test maybe?
Thanks everyone!

I've been in a 4 year relationship with the love of my life, me 25m and her 23f have lived together for 2 years, The other month she sat me down and said that she noticed our sex life was getting mundane, she said she wanted to try something different that she never did before. Apparently she had been fantasing about me sleeping with another women, I was instantly freaked out when she said that. Usually most women aren't into that sort of thing. She explained that when she was first aroused by the idea she was a bit sickened with herself and felt angry at me, but as she explored the idea she started craving the sensation. She goes on to try to convince me that this is something she wants and that I should be open to trying her sexual fantasies. I said I wouldnt feel right about cheating on you, she counters with, "the only thing about cheating that hurts me is that it would require you to be deceiving". Apparently this would be different because she would know about it all and help pick the partner for me and the key part, she'd be watching it. Anyways the conversation ended with me telling her I'd think about it but was very unsure of it all.
Fast foward a few weeks, everyday at work was horrible for me, I mean I couldn't even get in the right head space. I spent all my time figuring this out. Why would she want this? Do I want this? I had no answers. On one hand I want to explore her fantasies plus I wouldn't mind getting a free pass to hook up with another girl, but then on the other hand I don't even think I could bring myself to do it because I'd feel as if I was hurting the love of my life, the disgust I'd feel, there's no way I'd be able to shake that. Also what if this hurt our relationship. It was not something I wanted to risk. However, through these past 2 weeks since she brought it up, sex has been terrible, our conversations have been bland, I could tell our relationship was at a standstill just awaiting an answer from me.
After a few more days of this standstill I decide to go with it as long as we have a safe word that I can use at any time of the process, and ofc that I get to have a say in who the other partner is. She agrees, a week after that we pick our partner and go out for drinks. She was a very nice young girl, 21f in college and just freaky enough to get tied up In this shit. She seemed super into me as soon as we meet which threw me off guard. It was hard for me to flirt with her in front of the love of my life. Either way we spent only an hour at the bar but it felt like an eternity. This was definitely the worst part of the night, I felt so guilty through it all but every time I looked over at my girlfriend she kept giving me the look of approval.
Fast forward to our place. We started on the couch with her on me, touching me and slowly kissing me. I keep looking at my girlfriend and she keeps giving me the signal to proceed, I remembered her saying that she wanted me to act as if she wasn't there, so everytime I looked at her I could tell she was disappointed in me. So I tried to forget she was there but it was difficult I'm just glad I took about 4 shots at that bar.
Once we got into the bedroom things got wierd, my gf sitting in the corner as we are on the bed, it starts normal and pretty lame, as I wasn't in my prime exactly. I look over and my girlfriend seems to be loving this, which turns me on alot. So I pick up the pace, this goes back and forth untill I start to hear a sound coming from the corner of the room. It sounded like a moan, I thought the myself that I've never heard her moan like that in 4 years of being together, this made me feel good. Made me feel as if I was doing something right so I decided to pick up the speed and really sell the show. I slap this chicks ass and start going even harder, the moan from the corner gets louder and more strange, so I go even harder this time and the chick starts getting vocal. I remember her saying to be vocal as if she wasn't in the room. I thought this was the perfect time to use that. So I pushed the throttle all the way and said "damn girl yours is so much better then my girls". When I tell you the "moan" from the corner absolutely whaled louder then ever and I heard her hit the floor of the bedroom as she dropped on her knees. I look behind me and had to do a two take. I immediately realized she wasnt moaning. That entire time that sound was her crying! I ran over to her and tried to help but she yelled at me to get away from her. She was completely disgusted with me. The college chick threw her clothes on and left while saying sorry.
My girlfriends on the couch shaking and crying I'm trying to figure out what happened but she can't even look at me let alone create a sentence that made since. She said she needed to go to a friend's for the night. When I tell you I was broken over this. I've never felt so guilty, wrong, and confused in my life. They say when something feels to good to be true, it usually is, thats all I couldn't think about it. 3 days later she's comes to see me and explains that she doesn't want to be together anymore after seeing me with another girl, she said that she didn't know what she wanted but it didn't feel right in the moment and that she was sorry for convincing me to cheat on her. I asked if this was something we could work on but she couldn't get over the fact that I was used goods to her. This entire thing sucks for me because when she tells people why we broke up, the only thing she can say is that she convinced me to cheat on her. And the only thing I can say is that she "convinced me to cheat" you know how shitty it seems to try to explain this story to people, there just like yeah sure dude. Or assume that I'm a manipulator and abusive.
I really don't even know what happened and i just had to put this out there, anyways what do y'all think about all this, am I in the wrong?

Hi, I played Elden Ring with some friends and the controller loses its connection spontaneously and refuses to connect back to it. One piece of info I have is that the stick was unusually hot because it sits on the back of the blowout fan and we already played for some time so, I perhaps broke something which is the only guess I have.
The adapter still shows up in the device manager and starts blinking when pressing the button and the controller still works on its own when connected to my cable. Also couldn't connect both when using the stick on my laptop and trying to pair them there (perhaps some local problem?)
I tried several bugfixes:
- Wireless adapter for Windows sleep settings
- Delete the driver, restart, and connect them anew
- Airplane settings
- different USB slots
- update controller software with the accessory software(they were up to date)
- using normal batteries instead of the battery pack
The only thing I can think of is that I fried it not sure what other fixes I can try. So I'm open to suggestions :)

Heyyy, thanks for taking the time to check out my post & I hope you find at least part of it interesting enough to send me a message. Anyway, without further ado...
I'm coming at you live from the sunny UK (no joke, it's literally blistering this week for some reason and I AM SUFFERING). As much as we can all appreciate a good bit of sunshine, it's nice in moderation but our houses are designed like little hotboxes, the heat stays in so i'm currently typing in shorts and a wife-beater whilst an industrial fan that I got cools me down - hot, right?
My sleeping pattern is just as inconsistent as Marvel Studios is with their quality. I'm usually up at all hours (I do work but it's flexible to a degree) so am happy to speak with anyone from anywhere. All I ask is that you're patient and understanding of timezones and...life in general. I've spoken with individuals in the past who have flew off the handle if you don't reply on their clock, so I appreciate someone who's horizontal levels of laid back please.
I like to travel and enjoy snowsports, both of which go hand in hand. As a result, I've been fortunate enough to travel all over Europe many times. Aside from travelling for that, I like to visit new places from Greece to the Czech Republic to Spain and so on. Also been to the US a few times but would really like to visit Japan or Norway one day, maybe Brazil but my pale self would probably incinerate over there. What's your dream destination?
Gaming is a big hobby of mine and I currently play on PS2/3/4/5, Switch & PC. I'd say what games I play but I hop between far too many at once, though I've been blasting Diablo IV and Street Fighter 6 recently. Phasmaphobia is always a good laugh and if you know of Hunt, you're an absolute champ. If you play, what are some of your favourite games?
When it comes to music, i'll listen to anything and everything, really, so feel free to be the DJ on any and all future road trips whilst I drive. Which brings me on to the next one - I love driving and going on the occasional road trip or spontaneous day/weekend out. Any song recommendations?
Movies too, anything and everything, though I do have a bit of a soft spot for horror despite the genre being completely dragged through the mud time and again. Fallen off of Marvel movies recently since they seem to have ZERO SENSE OF DIRECTION following Endgame, but I'll gladly re-watch SOME of them. The BIG BALLER Franchise is, and always will be...Star Wars (despite what Papa Disney did to the movies with VII-IX). Tell me your favourite movies!
I have a keen interest in the paranormal despite being mostly skeptic, I'd say more of an optimistic skeptic would best describe my outlook. Got any scary stories to share? Also enjoy learning about animals and different periods in history. Conspiracy theories are always a good laugh too. What's the wildest one you've heard of?I like to practice martial arts and watch the UFC and Boxing on occasion & as always, good olde WWE is never a dull time, can always stick it on for a little and have some degree of entertainment. Do you watch or play any sports?
Cats, dogs and nope ropes, I have all the pet pics for you. If you have any pets/fur companions, I would LOVE to see them.
I also like to cook and experiment with food. I'll try anything twice and am an average food challenge enjoyer, though I'm not quite Man V Food levels of food challenge.
Please send me your name, age and location in your opening message. A photo would also be appreciated BUT I do understand that this is Reddit and some degree of apprehension/caution is understandable, so don't worry if you aren't comfortable right off the bat. Ideally if we get on well, I would like to move platform preferably to Discord.
If you actually read all of this, I appreciate you. Have a great morning/afternoon/evening & I hope to hear from you.

Hi everyone. For the past couple months, I have been running into this same issue. My computer boots and says it's running diagnostics. Disk error. It opens the boot window and I try all the recommended command prompts that windows suggests on their site. When that doesn't work, I reset the PC. No changes were made. Then I reinstall windows from an external drive and that takes a while. I've done this a dozen times over the past 2 months. I am at a loss. My laptop is a has an i3 processor and I'm not sure if it's just slow now, but I don't know what to do. I can't afford a new laptop right now, and I can't afford to get it repaired yet. I really need this laptop to work. Has anyone had the same issue? If so, how did you resolve it?

Hello, first of all I want to say thank you so much for all the love and kindness from so many people all over the world. This really shows that there are many more good people in this world than bad ones and thank you so much for all the advices you have given me. It surely helped me a lot.
You guys have pointed out many important things in the comments and I am here to answer all of those.
I know a lot of you guys absolutely hate my husband and I can fully understand why. I would have had the same reaction if I was in your shoes. You guys have asked why I think my husband is amazing. Well, maybe amazing is a bit of an overstatement. But I still believe he is a good person. He has always tried to be there for my kids. He is very kind, innocent and humble, and always thinks about everyone. And he personally has never hurt me or my kids. It's just that he is extremely weak when it comes to his mother. Very very weak. He just can't separate himself from his mother. It's like he is entangled deep inside his mother's illicit web of lies and scrutiny. His situation is extremely strange to understand. Even I can't. It's not like he loves his mother too much that he can't see through her veil of lies. He often says to me how terrible she is to treat me like this. That she is trying to wreck our family. But he also says, that he can't leave her. He just can't do it. He is just too weak to stand up for his family in front of MIL. Even if sometimes he tries to stand up to her, my MIL would start crying and guilt trapping him, saying stuff like how he is being a bad son, and that he doesnt love his mama. And that he is disrespecting his own blood for some other woman. And he would then immediately back off.
You won't believe it, but a few years back my husband got a massive promotion. It came with a massive salary, and his dream work. But we had to move to a big city for this. He was extremely excited, and so was me and our kids. But my MIL said that she won't leave this house. She started crying (again), saying how she can't survive without him and to not leave her alone. And guess what my husband did next. He refused the promotion. I was extremely devastated, as it was a lot of money which would have helped our family and our children's college education. Not to mention how my husband always said it was his dream job. But MIL won again.
Let me tell you my husband is scared of me leaving him. He cannot function at all without me. He can't cook, doesn't clean or do any household chores. I do all the job including tutoring my kids. He only does the grocery shopping from time to time. My husband sometimes jokingly says that if I ever leave him this entire house will fall apart, and that he will have to hire 10 guys to do the job I do for this family.
I saw a few of you have said that maybe my MIL was abused during her marriage. Let me tell you, you are 100% wrong. My MIL never lived with her own MIL , and practically forced my FIL to get a separate house for her. I have heard from my neigbours and relatives that my FIL was an incredible human being. Extremely kind, innocent, humble, loved and cared for everyone, and never so much as raised his voice on anyone. He even paid for so many of his nephew and nieces college education without ever asking for anything in return. I never got to meet him as he died 3 years before my marriage. But my relatives would say how my MIL practically dominated over my innocent FIL and their marriage, so much so that he couldn't even do anything without taking her permission. My FIL's sister told me how my MIL practically destroyed my FIL. I have realized my MIL is just a narcissist who likes to assert dominace over other people.
Also, another thing, my neighbours and all my relatives absolutely hate my MIL and her attitude. But they love me a lot. For every occasion me, my husband and my kids are always graciously invited. Even my son's girlfriend is invited sometimes. But she isn't. I once asked them why. They said how my MIL has been a raging bitch her whole life and that they are tired of her, and don't want her negativity and narcissism in their happy occasions.
Let me tell you another thing, if we kick my MIL out of the house, she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. None of our relatives like her. And her precious daughter's (my SIL) family doesn't like her either. Especially my BIL. My BIL is like an older brother to me and has always treated me like his sister. He has seen the abuse I have faced from my MIL and he absolutely despise her. So yeah she can't even go live anywhere else if we kick her out. It's crazy to think that she tries to destroy the only house and family where she is allowed to live and given so much respect. And now she is not even allowed here. Karma's a bitch.
I know a lot of you guys are concerned for my kids and rightfully so. And I thank you for all the advices. I know I should have taken firmer steps , but I was absolutely helpless. I was kind of always told to compromise and just put up with it. And don't worry my kids are fine. They know very well , even my 11 year old daughter that what MIL did to me and to this family is absolutely wrong and disgusting.And I have taught them to always stand up for themselves and to never let anyone walk over them. And they are really smart kids so don't worry they will be fine.
Although, I am a little bit concerned for my son. He has developed a temper. I will tell you why. A few years ago, I received a call from his friend telling me that my son has beaten the hell out of a kid in his class. He practically broken his tooth off. I came to know that the kid had said something jokingly about me and my son practically went full rage mode on him. When I asked around his friends regarding this, I realised that it wasn't even anything serious. It's just guys horsing around, talking about each other's mother's. You know kind of like the yo mama jokes on the internet. Nothing serious. Just typical guy stuff. His friends said how they always used to make this kind of jokes, including my son. But this time he was different. They also said how my son has developed a temper and gets irritated very quickly. They are very concerned about him. Thankfully his friends convinced the kid to not press charges against my son.
I wanted to get to the middle of this. So one day when no one else was home i sat down my son and asked him to open up to me and tell me why he did what he did. Initially he was hesitant. But after convincing him for a bit he broke down crying saying, how he always witnessed the abuse and neglect I faced in the house. And that he hated himself for not being able to protect me and keep me safe. I realised that he has now subconsciously became very vulnerable and protective of me. I told him that I appreciate the concern but violence is not the answer and that's not how I raised him. He said to me that he hated beating up that kid. I made him promise me that he will never do anything like this ever again. He told me that he also hated that his father didn't protect me and now he has developed an absolute hatred towards his dad. I am extremely concerned about this, i don't want him to hate his own father. I told him it's my job to protect him not the other way around. Although I am proud that he noticed. But I am definitely getting him into therapy once he finishes college. But don't worry guys he is getting better. Also my son studies in a really good college. He has told me that once he finishes college and get a job he will buy a nice apartment and me and her sister can come live with him. I told him that I would absolutely love that.
About the Ultimatum :- So when I gave my husband the ultimatum he got extremely sad. He told me countless times to change my mind. He even told me to just put up with my MIL until she dies ( which could be in 10 , 20 years or more). But this time I didn't budge. I have told him that I waited 21 years for him to take initiative, but he didn't. So now it's time for me to put my foot down for the sake of my children. I have told him that I will take my kids and go to my parents' house if he doesn't fullfill the ultimatum. He obviously doesn't want that as he can't function without me.
My son lives in a different state for college but he has come home recently due to the summer vacation. One afternoon me and my husband were arguing about this ultimatum, he told me that it's really difficult for him to choose like this. My son heard this and suddenly barged into the room and started yelling at his dad. Practically shouting. He called him a worthless, spineless moron who can't protect his wife and his family. He said and I quote, 'You are an absolute weak and pathetic man, you don't have the balls to protect your wife, who does everything for you. You don't have the guts to protect your family , you are the kind of person who should have never became a husband or a parent'. At this point my heart was breaking , I didn't want my son and his dad's relationship to break like that. Not to mention my husband was absolutely scared of him. He is 5'6" and my son is 6'2"(he gets the height from my side of the family). Now, my husband has finally agreed to buy an apartment. I told him that I would take my kids and live there. To which my son looked at me (he was still fuming with rage) and told me, 'There is no way in hell you are leaving this house. This house belongs to you more than anyone. For 21 years you have loved and cared for this house and this family. If anyone's gonna leave, it's gonna be your evil MIL, as she is the one responsible for the abuse and breaking up the family'.
At this point my MIL came into the room and heard everything ( she didn't knew about the ultimatum). She got angry and said how dare I even think of kicking her out of her own house. To which my son stepped up and said, ' If you ever talk to my mother like that, try to disrespect her, even so much as raise your voice against her, I will kick you out of this house and throw you into the street myself. I don't care what anybody thinks, no one can stop me. You are lucky we are putting you into an apartment, cause if it was upto me , I will put you in an adult home'. After this my MIL is pretty much terrified of my son. She has finally realized she can't manipulate anyone anymore. Although as a last hail mary, my MIL started calling all of her relatives saying how I am a terrible person and is kicking her out of her own house. Funny thing is, those same relatives would later call me , congratulating me and telling me that I did the right thing and that I should have done it sooner. Even my neighbours are really happy about this.
Final note :- So me and my husband went apartment hunting the other day, it will be a 1BHK apartment with an attached bathroom. Her own kitchen where she can cook herself. My husband is obviously not too thrilled about this but it doesnt matter anymore. She will be moving her ass out of the house by the end of July. Freedom finally.
PS :- But even after all this I still never received an apology from her. Not that it will change anything. She still remains her usual stubborn self. She doesn't talk to me anymore, or my kids. Which is for the better I guess. She has tried to manipulate my husband by crying and sobbing but that didn't change anything, my son made sure of that.
Well, this is it for now, I will update you later on about everything else that happens.

Let me tell you about my current saga. All I wanted was to buy some books. I typed this out so I could review/post/give feedback everywhere and anywhere, but I thought you guys might get a kick out of it.
January 30th. I placed an order for some books, including a pre-order (to be released within a few days) with a well-known book company in my country, using their online store. All seems fine, delivery expected in two weeks. March. A month goes by, no sign of my books. I email their customer service email address and get told, “Sorry, your pre-order is delayed by a month. You should have received an email about this.” I tell them I didn’t receive anything, they respond with “This is unusual, we will investigate why this happened and get back to you.” I reply asking for an updated estimated shipping date. No response. April 1th April comes and I haven’t yet seen the red flags. The store has a massive online sale, so I excitedly order another pile of books, including another pre-order (to be released the following week). The MOMENT my confirmation email arrives, it’s immediately followed up with an email saying the pre-order #2 will be delayed a month. No idea why this information wasn’t on the website, as now I have to wait even longer for the books, but I want them at the cheaper price, so fine. At the same time, I realise I never got a response from the first order, so I email them again, asking for an update. No response. May 24th. I call one of the stores and ask about how to check up on orders. They tell me they are separate from the online store, and I have to call them or email them. The help centre are across the country with terrible opening hours, so I decided to send two more emails, one replying to the original email chain, one separate to their support email address. I ask for updates on all my orders and why I haven’t been getting a response.I receive an automated response to the second email, nothing to the first. May 29th. Fortunately, I get incredibly sick and take time off work. I called their help centre and asked to have both pre-orders removed from both orders, asking if this will now allow the orders to be shipped. They say yes, they will process the refunds now, and I’ll get an email confirmation in a few days saying the orders are shipped. May 30th. I got a reply to the 2nd email saying the pre-order for the second order is now delayed until July. They tell me they won’t ship my order until all the books in each order have arrived. I also realise that one of the books from the January order is no longer needed, as my partner purchased me the book months ago, forgetting about the orders at all. I, still sick and bedridden, call the help centre and ask to have this third book refunded as the order has not yet shipped. They tell me the two books I cancelled yesterday haven’t been cancelled at all, and my orders are both still sitting there waiting for them. They say there is nothing pending, no sign they were ever going to be taken off my order. He assures me he will cancel the books immediately. I get two emails, one from each other, saying my books are cancelled and a refund is on the way. Today, June 8th. I got my two parcels. I open them up, only to realise that the third book I cancelled is still here. I checked my emails and my bank, and it turns out the second person I spoke to forgot to cancel the third book, and I was never issued a cancellation or refund for it. Being unwell, I hadn’t even realised the error when I was reading the emails. There’s also no invoice in the boxes, which I find odd. I decide to call up the closest physical store (30mins away) and ask if I can simply bring the book in for a refund. I explain everything and he says he needs the invoice from the boxes. I tell him there isn’t one and he is baffled. All the orders come with an invoice. The confirmation email doesn’t even have an invoice number on it, just an order number, which doesn’t work for refunds. However, considering the whole saga up to this point, he tells me to give him all the details I have and he will chase it up with them on my behalf. He tells me he will try his luck with the help centre, as he can call them during their business hours, and get back to me in two days whether he hears anything or not. So this is where I currently sit. Missing the books I really wanted, with a book I don’t want, and having learnt a valuable lesson about not buying from their online store again.

My neck and upper back started hurting after an intensive Thai massage. Was told soreness is common after massages. After that, I had to work long hours (desk job on a computer). I am 27F super petite and the office furniture never fit me. It has been 6+ months now. Neck pain and headaches are better after taking SSRIs.
Symptoms: - Upper back tightness, pain, constant knots, tightness in arms, wrists, fingers - No tingling afaik - Crunching sounds when stretching - Pain goes away when doing workouts (cardio, strength and yoga feel good) Been working out much before the pain started and eating enough protein every day. - Immediate pain and tightness back within 10 mins of workout - Sometimes I feel a pressure in a triangular area around spine-mid shoulder blade area that I need to crack somehow - Even minutely bad ergonomic sitting position makes pain worse. For example, using a couch, driving, sitting in a larger chair - My shoulders do seem to arch forward naturally instead of opening up, I am mindful of it and keep trying to maintain good posture
Tests: Cervical MRI showed mild 1mm bulge in c4-c5, c6-c7. Spine specialist said she wouldn’t be concerned since it is minor. Advised to continue PT. Maybe consider epidural injection.
Tried so far: Chiropractor, Acupuncture, Cupping, Trigger point injections, Massage, muscle relaxants - 24hr temp relief. Modifying work setup working with ergonomist but still having pains because something isn’t fully right.
Works - PT exercises last 6+ months(temp relief though but I hope muscles strengthen), Restorative Yoga helps with tightness a little, Taking SSRIs and prescription NSAIDs regularly. Heating pads, lacrosse balls, foam roller 2-3 times a day to remove very painful knots.
Unfortunately, I am lost what to do now. Everything I do only gives me temporary relief. My spine doc only looked at the radiologist report and didn’t look at the MRI itself. No X-Rays or any previous injuries here. I am starting to get hopeless because most providers treat me/tell me indicating - “You are young, do PT and now that you are here, you will get better”.