Hey dad, I'm asking for a pep talk/advice here because it seems like more of a dad subject.
I'm a housekeeper at a nursing home, and I make just the right amount of money to get by, but it's only 10/hr and I really wish I made more. I also had to come in on my day off yesterday, so I'm going to ask to swap my days off around next week so I don't end up working 8 days in a row.
I guess it's fine, y'know. I'm at work again today, and I'm going to get to see plenty of residents that look forward to seeing me, and I think it will go well. But, I'm also really tired and sore. This is day 4, which isn't bad at all, but I just got a new puppy last sunday and it's been hard trying to get used to walking her before and after work, and before bed, because I'm not used to doing much more walking than I have to at work and then resting once I'm home for the day.
Outside of dog stuff, work is really stressful lately because they just opened the memory care unit for people with dementia, which meant there was a ton of extra work to do for a few days. We're all caught up now, and we have to get used to the new normal. I just really wanted to quit yesterday, like super bad, because the gas station I frequent pays $13/hr as starting pay and it'd be less physical labor, and one of the cashiers asked me to apply and gave me an application.
I really don't want to leave this job, though. I love housekeeping, and I love the residents. My job means a lot to me because I know I'm doing a good job keeping everyone's living areas clean and sanitary, and not many other people are as willing to do it as I am. So, what's the deal, pop? Am I gonna be okay? How do I get to a point where I'm content with my wage and not constantly wanting better? It's frustrating and discouraging to see cashiers, who just stand there and scan stuff all day, making 3 dollars more than me an hour, when I do a lot of physical labor and am in harm's way by being in an environment that illness and infection passes through regularly.

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Maybe a stupid question. I want to expose my puppy to different things and stores like home Depot are great for that. But my puppy still pees out of excitement sometimes. How do you manage this?

I’m struggling to get back my 30 pounds. Recently came home from the hospital due to severe dehydration/starvation. Was drinking tons of water and eating everything but still getting weaker and thinner. No pain, no blood , just constant diarrhea and gas (and omg, it smelled bad). Was admitted on Sunday afternoon at 158 lbs and so weak I could barely get in the car so my wife could drive me in. Spent 5 days on IV to get me rehydrated and my electrolytes up. A CT scan showed inflamed bowls (small and large they said) and even created a C. Difficile scare although tests came back negative (but not before they gave me a bunch of antibiotics IV) Ultrasound and MRI all showed clear but hinted at gallbladder sludge but not worrisome. GI put me back on Prednisone (30mg taper, last time it was 40) and gained almost 10 lbs but it was probably just water. Came home Thursday and feeling good but still diarrhea (a dark greenish brown). Thankfully no ‘night accidents’, still no pain, eating mostly carnivore but with cheese, eggs, yogurt, butter and gluten free pasta. My nutritionist told me to avoid nuts and seeds and high fibre. And strangely, no gas and NO smelly poop. But I’m back down to 160. What the hell is going on?

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How do you find time to bathe your baby?!
We're 7.5 weeks in, and I'm completely disorganized about bath time. How do I develop a routine when there's so, so much time eaten by pumping then feeding and all the washing?
I even have a supportive, helpful partner, but we're working in shifts at night. I go to bed at about 8:30/9:00 pm and take back over at 3:00 am.
He gets home around 5:30. In our three overlapping hours, we have all the same baby chores plus trying to cook dinner and eat. (He usually cooks unless the baby and I had a rough day. Then he takes the baby and I pop something in the oven from the freezer or order pizza.)
How TF does a bath routine work with this life?! It seems like this should be easier. My husband is helpful. Why can't we figure it out?

My 3F home daycare was hit by the tornado yesterday. Thankfully everyone was safe. There were 7 kids in there and 3 or 4 adults (some were coming to collect their kids)
We’re all traumatized in some way. I talked to the sitter right after they were hit and she said they were fine but did get hit. I would have never imagined it would be like that. I honestly don’t even know how they survived. Everything looked fine until I got to the top of the hill of the sitters street. There were down trees and a line of cars. I look down the hill where her house sits and everything was unrecognizable. My only thought was “no way everyone is ok” I jumped out my car and made my way down the hill, climbing under trees, ignoring the smell of gas while looking out for down lines.I reach the bottom of the hill and to my right is a young teen boy who looked down the street and just screamed in horror then took off towards what was left of his home. The whole neighborhood that sits at the bottom of that hill was destroyed.
I made it to the sitters house and saw her oldest son who said everyone was ok but I didn’t see them. They were still inside. Sitter’s son was covered in debris, his car was thrown in the yard. He’d barely made it in the house himself when the tornado hit and was very traumatized. They didn’t know if they should wait on emergency services to rescue those inside. My boyfriend made it down the hill next and immediately went in to get them out. He worked in construction and knew they weren’t safe in there as it may collapse. Two other dads were there and the 3 of them began pulling kids out. My boyfriend went in first and got my daughter. She was soaked and crying so bad she didn’t even recognize me. All she said was “ I want to go home” they kept pulling out kids and brought them to me. I did my best to comfort everyone. They pull out an 18mo old baby and my heart sank. He was ok though but upon seeing him I was worried about a 8month old she usually has. One of the older girls confirmed that her mom had already came to get her. Thank goodness cause she’s just so small. Most of the kids were her after school kids so they knew what was happening. One girl about 8 kept asking if her mom was dead. I’ve never even seen this girl before but luckily her dad was already there and assisting with getting them out. The parents who were there vehicles were destroyed.
The gas was so strong. One kid stepped on a nailed board from the house. We didn’t know about any downed lines. After about 20mins, more rain and more tornado warnings, my boyfriend took my daughter back up the hill to our car and decided we should leave before we got stuck in traffic and couldn’t get out. My 5 yr old son was still at school sheltering in place. A tornado had already passed that area but there were more on the way.
I felt so bad for leaving the sitter there like that. House gone, world turned upside down. Luckily my mom (who was the sitter’s childhood friend) was able to come and sit with her.
What else to say right now other than how can I help my sitter? Not only is her house gone but therefore her livelihood too.
Just take the time to thank whoever looks after your child. There were so many people in that tiny bathroom. Idk how she did it. But I can’t thank her enough.
There’s a picture on my profile of the damage. I don’t want to post it anymore. I only took the pic so my mom could find the house as everything was unrecognizable.

Hi! I built a few Muskoka chairs out of pine and various reclaimed wood, and went to Home Depot to buy some primer and some paint. Thanks to the advices of the friendly staff, I got: - some Bulleyes 1, 2, 3 primer. I applied 2 coats of it according to the instructions - some Behr paint: Marquee for some colors, Alkyd Enamel for another. I applied 2 coats as well.
I follow the instructions for all products, even heated the place to make sure I was in the proper temperature range for curing.
Low and behold, it rained yesterday and the chairs are full of blisters, and the paint is coming off. The wood is not seal and will probably start rotting soon. I'll have to redo the painting again. How should I proceed to make sure it does not happen again next time? Any recommendation to seal and protect wooden outdoor furniture?

I work shut downs at oil and gas refineries. There's a variety of other work I can do too but I'm currently on a shut down. I live in a shitty semi-remote camp, with bad lunches, have to share a bathroom with another person (they're supposed to be moved so I don't have a neighbour) and the work is 12h shifts. I can't go home. If I do go home its 8h there and back and I'd have to switch my schedule to a 12 and 2 and destroy my sleeping pattern. I'm currently on a 6 and 1 because my body can't do 12 straight.
My only savings grace is I can see my gf for a couple hours twice a month since she comes up here to work on a 2 week on off schedule. On the other 2 weeks we can drive to the closest city for the day.
Guys, I'm absolutely over it. It's been a week and I have at least 6 more until I can get my layoff for EI. I'm not really allowed to quit or I'll get into some trouble with my union.
How do you guys motivate yourself through work? I'll make a pretty penny from this but it's just not enough sometimes. I'm miserable dragging my feet every day. Is there any other intrinsic motivation you guys use to keep going?
Cheers

I usually make my pound cake using a gas oven and there has been never been a problem.But whenever I bake it in my electric oven it doesn’t cook properly or rise up.Have always used the same recipe.

Anyone know where I can buy hydrated masonry lime locally? Neither Home Depot, Lowes, ACE has it. I can get it from amazon or others, but shipping is four times the cost for a 50lb bag. I plan to lime wash the house.

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As I stood sipping a cup of green tea in the middle of the night, sitting on my porch and looking into the swamp beyond my house, sickly lights began to dance and flash in front of my eyes. I remembered my grandmother’s warning about the corpse lights.
“Teddie,” she said to me, sitting on the same porch twenty years earlier, smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of wine, “do you see those lights? The ones that stay close to the ground, change colors and disappear or reappear constantly?” My small five-year-old self nodded.
“Yes, Grammie,” I said. “They’re pretty.” She nodded at this, taking another long drag off of her cigarette.
“Yes, they sure are,” she said gravely. “They’re also dangerous. You should never go into those woods at night, but especially when those lights are there. Where I’m from, we call them corpse lights. It means the fae are nearby. They like to hide behind the lights.” I nodded quietly at this. She had told me about the fae, how they sometimes kidnapped children and took them to their underground lairs, never to be seen again. She didn’t tell me what the fae did to those children, or why they wanted children at all. She simply said they were not to be trusted and that I should always avoid areas where they frequented, especially at nighttime.
“There are lots of fae haunting grounds near here,” she said to me. “It has been that way since before the Europeans settled this land centuries ago. The Native Americans used to consider that swamp sacred ground.”
But now I was an adult, and moreover, I was curious. I had looked up the scientific explanations for these lights that appeared and disappeared in flashes all over the forest and swamp, showing up in blue, green, red or white flashes that shimmered and vibrated. Supposedly it had something to do with the decomposition of plant matter and the resulting gasses that appeared. People had been seeing them for thousands of years, calling them by many names.
As I sat there, thinking about Grammie Greylock, who had died just a few years earlier, the old-style TV on the porch changed from some sitcom with too much fake laughter into the nightly news. A pretty young reporter sat at a desk, staring into the camera.
“And we start with some breaking news: the latest victim of the Westland Ripper was found today. Police say a woman in her thirties was found sexually assaulted and tortured to death by her father, who later told police he hadn’t heard from her in a week. This latest murder brings the known number of victims up to twelve. With us, we have Special Agent Ellis of the FBI. What can you tell us about this serial killer and the investigations?” The nondescript agent appeared on the screen, speaking deadpan into the camera.
“Well, unlike most known serial killers, this suspect targets both males and females. He is an equal opportunity killer. And he is extremely organized, planning his crimes in meticulous detail before…” I shut the TV off, rising and stretching out my arms and back. The news was always so depressing, and the latest crime had happened only a twenty minute drive from where I live, which made it even worse. My attention returned to those floating lights behind my house.
I got up out of my chair, chugging the last of my green tea quickly, and went inside to grab a flashlight. Without a second thought, I walked out towards the trail that wound its way through the swamp and deep into the forest.
At first, it was just a beautiful night hike. The stars were bright overhead, as there was no light pollution for miles in any direction. The moon looked nearly full, and my light caught many bats flashing through the trees, hunting bugs and squeaking in their eerie way.
Then I heard something that didn’t sound like any animal I had ever heard. It was a deafening screaming noise, but it wasn’t a fox or a fisher cat. I knew the cries of both of those animals, having heard them frequently living out here in the country. This was a sound like a woman overcome by the deepest grief, like the wail of a mother who just lost her only child.
“Hello?” I called into the darkness. The corpse lights began to drift towards me, floating a few inches off the ground and shimmering with colors. I stopped, an eerie creeping feeling coming over me. I immediately turned around and tried to walk back home as fast as I could.
But within a few feet of walking, the corpse lights started to cover the trail, smaller ones seeming to congeal into larger bubbles of flashing light. I saw flashes within, as if tiny bolts of lightning were flicking across the clouds.
Hesitating, taking a deep breath in, I put my right hand into the corpse light, the white shimmering seeming to lessen for a moment as I touched its surface. And then I could see every vein, artery and capillary in my entire hand.
Shrieking, I pulled it back out, looking down. My skin was back and my hand seemed totally fine. But my heart was still beating fast, and I felt eyes all over me.
“What in the hell was that?” I whispered to myself, regretting ever stepping foot in the woods.
I stared deeper into the corpse lights, and realized the surface looked like it was zooming into itself- as if it were a fractal image. I saw the same sparks of lightning arranged in the same way over and over as it moved faster, the white light on the outside shimmering as it moved towards the center.
And then a naked, sickly-looking woman stepped out of it, breaking my hypnosis instantly. At least, I thought it was a woman, until I looked at her face.
Her face was melting off, like candle wax. It deformed, beads of skin dripping off her nose and chin constantly, but it constantly reformed itself. Her eyes would be covered by the constantly shifting skin and muscle, but then reappear again, shining silver in the moonlight.
The body of the thing was thin and emaciated, looking like a cancer patient in the last days of life. I could see every single rib, and her hip bones stuck out over legs that looked like twigs.
But her hair was somehow the most disturbing part. It was stringy, black, and clotted together with what looked like blood. Drips of black fluid and dozens of writhing maggots constantly fell off the ends of each clump of hair, which was so long it reached nearly to her knees, being the only covering on her diseased-looking body.
Time seemed to slow down, and in a moment, I flashed back to a conversation I had with my grandmother.
***
“Never run from a fae,” she said as we sat on the back porch in the afternoon sunlight. “They will tear you apart. When I was a little girl, my grandmother told me the same thing, and it saved my life. I accidentally stumbled into one as a teenager.” I tried to think of her as a teenager, but my mind failed completely. I had always known her as a sweet, old woman. “And like my grandmother told me, you grab it, hug it as tight as you can, and it will hug you back.” I giggled at this, thinking of hugging a fairy. She smiled down at me.
“It’s not like a real hug, though,” she continued. “It’s like you’re hugging it with your mind, and its mind hugs you back. And it will take you someplace else, and if you keep hugging it long enough, it will be under your power. The fae cannot lie. You can even tell it to come to you if you ever need it, though I don’t recommend it. When it comes, it won’t be under your power any longer- it will be free, and it will be angrier and stronger than ever.”
“Why can’t they lie, Grammie?” I asked, snuggling closer to her on the bench, feeling her warm, comforting presence next to me. She shrugged.
“They worship the truth, live in the truth,” she said. “It’s like their religion. They don’t worship God, but they worship power, life and death and sometimes, evil. All those things spring from the truth- they have existed since the beginning of time. The fae cannot think except through that which has always existed, so it limits them and their minds.”
I shuddered, my small, five-year-old mind trying to comprehend it- and failing. I just hoped I would never run into one.
***
Trembling, a sickly sweet sweat starting to pop out all over my body as my adrenaline soared, I ran forward, arms out. I grabbed the thing across the chest, but part of me knew I was not grabbing it with my physical body at all. It was more like my mind wrapped around its heart. Its mouth widened into an O that took over most of its melting face, its silver eyes widened, and then I was out of my body completely.
We were descending through the ground together. I smelled the grass and leaves as we rushed through them like ghosts, and then we entered the dirt underneath. The corpse lights had expanded to become the entire world around us as we sped faster, forever going straight downwards. It felt as if I were descending through some gas giant, Jupiter or Saturn maybe. Multi-colored, thick gasses swirled all around us, huge lightning bolts sending white light shooting out in all directions, yet making no sound.
The melting face of the woman grinned up at me, lengthening fangs showing underneath the waxy dripping of her skin. I smiled back, even though inside I was terrified, and even thought I might die of a heart attack if this went on too long. I tightened my mind around her, seeing it like a rope twisting around her bony, naked chest, and I saw her grin turn into a grimace. She did the same back at me, and I felt my chest tightening, a suffocating feeling overtaking me. I couldn’t breathe, but the more anxiety and fear I felt, the more I kept tightening my consciousness around her body.
“Stop that,” she said in my mind, speaking telepathically instead of physically, her real mouth now opened into a silent scream. “You’re hurting me. You’re killing me. Release me now.”
“No,” I grunted through the suffocating tightness. “Not until you give up.”
“Release me, or I will drop you down here,” she responded, now yelling in my mind, sending all other thoughts scattering like scared fish in a pond. The corpse lights had begun to clear, and we were in some horrific landscape, deep under the Earth.
All around us, massive leeches crawled, ten feet long. Tortured beings of all kinds tried to run, but their tormentors were too fast. Some had massive holes on their chests and back and faces, clotted gore running out, but they healed again, and new swarms of leeches slithered over and lunged at them in turn.
Out of the ponds and lakes all around us, black water hid eldritch monstrosities underneath. But tentacles flew out anytime anyone ran too close to the water, fanged suckers ripping through the victims’ flesh, dragging them upside down and plunging them into the water. The echoing of the screams and the splashing of the water resounded back and forth across the light brown stones of the caverns, soft light spilling out from the rocks themselves. I saw other fae like the woman standing here and there, some of them sleeping in small nooks dug out in the cave walls, others helping to torment the beings and laughing about it as they did so.
“You… cannot…” I said through gritted teeth. She could not drop me unless I let go first. I felt her will beginning to give.
“I’m dying,” her voice screamed in my mind. “You’re killing me!”
“Then give up,” I whispered, though I also felt close to death. My vision was beginning to turn black, my head bursting with pain.
“I release you,” her voice said, and the pain was gone instantly. I kept hold on her for a few more seconds.
“Do you promise to do what I ask if I let go?” I said.
“Yes!” her voice said in my head, and I released her. Floating, I fell back a few inches, taking in deep, sweet breaths, my vision returning to normal, my heart no longer so tight it felt like a fist was closing over it.
“First, what is your name?” I gasped.
“My name is Lilin,” she said, her face melting faster, her eyes blazing with hatred and fury. Out of nowhere, an idea came to me- a dangerous one, but my instincts told me to go with it.
“OK, Lilin. Mine is Teddie. When I say ‘Come to me now, Lilin’ in the future, you will come.” She nodded, her eyes seeming to smile now, the look of hatred receding from her face.
“Yes, when you say, ‘Come to me now, Lilin,’ I will come.” Her voice sounded so spiteful and full of hate that I flinched slightly when she sent this message out.
“Now bring me back up!” I said, feeling relieved to have survived and not gotten stuck in this underground Hell on Earth. I drew close to her again, wrapping my mind around hers, seeing my mind’s projection of arms wrap around her strange, sickly body, and within moments, we were back in the dark woods. I was standing in my body at the same spot that I had been when I first saw her, hyperventilating as I swayed unsteadily on my feet.
“Get out of these woods,” she whispered in a low, demonic voice, “and the next time I see you, I will kill you.”
I walked out of there, pouring myself a huge glass of whiskey when I got home. But I still didn’t sleep that night. I was afraid of what I would see if I did. My hands were trembling so badly that, when I poured myself the fourth glass of whiskey around dawn, I dropped the entire bottle, seeing it shatter all over the porch.
***
A few weeks passed, and I began to wonder whether I had imagined the entire thing, maybe while sleepwalking or during some strange, isolated seizure event. After all, every day that passed made the encounter seem more and more like a dream.
The night that I saw Lilin again, I had just gotten home from work. I felt exhausted. It was Friday, and I just wanted to lay down and catch up on my sleep. I fell down heavily on the bed, and I was out almost instantly.
My dream was bizarre. I kept seeing that fae woman from the forest, her face dripping off the bones. When all the flesh was gone and puddled on the floor at her feet, she smiled at me, just a skull, and pointed up at the sky.
I looked up and saw a symbol I had never seen before- it looked like a backwards silver-colored seven with a diagonal slash through it, surrounded by a glowing white circle.
“Soon, I will be free,” she said to me, her skull chattering out of sync with the words, yet her voice still coming through loudly and clearly. “That symbol will guarantee it. And I will never stop hunting you until we are even.”
A crash brought me back to waking life. I sat up in my bed, looking at the alarm clock. 11:47 AM.
I heard footsteps crunching on broken glass in the kitchen. A few seconds later, a man with an executioner’s hood over his head walked calmly into my bedroom. On his forehead, he had painted the same symbol I had seen in my dream- the backwards seven with the circle around it. In his hand, he had an old-looking revolver, which he pointed directly at my face.
“Freeze, maggot,” he said, a tone of mirth in his voice.
“Who are you? What do you want?” I asked, now wide awake and frozen in terror.
“Well, the news calls me the Westland Ripper,” he said, giggling an insane, high-pitched laugh. “I guess it is as good a name as any.”
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I said coldly. He pulled the gun back, pistol whipping me across the jaw. I felt something in it give, my mouth filling with the warm taste of blood. I spit out a tooth.
“Why? What are you going to do about it?
“Now you’re going to be a good boy,” he said, his voice now as emotionless as a robot’s. “I’m going to tie you up, unless you want me to shoot your dick off first. Try anything, and that will be the result.” He pointed the gun at my crotch to emphasize his point, and then proceeded to pull out a coil of thick rope from his back pocket.
Though I rarely watched TV, even I had heard about the Westland Ripper. He had injected corrosive acids into the flesh of some of his victims, burned others alive, and the FBI allegedly believed he had killed dozens of people above and beyond his official body count. Not only was he a serial killer, but an extremely sadistic torturer.
I knew if he got me tied up, that would be the end of me. I did the only thing I could think of.
“Come to me now, Lilin!” I screamed, my broken, swelling jaw muffling my words slightly. I spit out small droplets of blood as I yelled. The killer raised his gun to pistol-whip me across the face again, but he never got a chance to bring it down.
The entire room filled with the corpse lights in an instant. Flashes of light shone on the insane, melting face of Lilin as she materialized behind the intruder, grabbing his gun arm and forcing it up higher with her bony, claw-like fingers.
In a flash, her mouth opened wide, and she bit into his armpit. Shaking her head from side to side like a rabid dog, she ripped off a huge chunk of skin and muscle. He was screaming now, blood pouring down his all-black outfit.
As she ate him alive, I got out of bed, sprinting out to my car. The screams of the man followed me, growing more and more desperate. When I reached the threshold of the front door, Lilin’s voice echoed in my mind.
“Where are you going, friend?” she asked in a mirthful voice. “I’m not done with you yet. You can run, but you can’t hide.” I pulled my phone out to call 911 and report the armed intruder, driving out of that town well above the speed limit.
The police only found a mess of gore in my bedroom when they arrived, an eyeball in one corner, a finger under the bed, and so on. Most of the body was just gone.
I never returned to that town. I sold my grandmother’s house that I had inherited, using the money to leave the state entirely. But I don’t think that will keep me safe.
Lilin isn’t gone. Despite moving three hundred miles away, I just looked out the window.
Under the streetlight outside, I saw the silhouette of a naked, emaciated woman with long, black hair.