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Dear Diary,

We're getting ready to sail, but for the first time, like ever, we're sailing without full holds. The important thing for me is to figure out the plushies, keep up on my studies, and figure out how to help with the mission.
I've been working on the modeling for the two versions and putting up some concepts on social media, and people are going nuts wanting one. There are going to be knockoffs, and some people have already done little art projects of him. I like the knitted one, and Greg was a little exasperated when I showed him the reactions. He just muttered about being famous where nobody even knows his name. I reminded him it's his fault for being adorable. He said he can't help that everyone else has bad taste and to wait until I meet a good boy, whatever that is.
Someone got a good picture of the Lord Justiciar pinning the medal on, and now that's become the Sneaky Salute meme. I'm seeing it used a lot reacting to heartwarming stories, like about an orphaned litter being taken car of by a different animal, or a pet waiting for an owner who passed away, and mostly for kids doing kind things. Then there are the funny uses, mostly by teenagers on posts of other teenagers hurting themselves doing sports. Of course, there are text edits, but a lot of them make no sense unless you're from the culture of the meme, or maybe not even then. Why is the medal labeled "hoidvao," Greg "me when I get good grades," and the Lord Justiciar "brood matron?" Why is that one so popular? Jecauvia is weird.
With things getting a bit less hectic, things are going back to routine. Kind of. Mom is still busy lining up buyers at our next stop, Daddy is still going over the course with Uncle Yaem, and Greg is still working on what he calls "combat reediness." He told me to bring everyone past their Halfway to the armory to talk about that.
There was Greg, cleaning the sidearm Uncle Yaem machined for him. It looks like a scaled down electronic pulse pistol with the rack of weapons looming over us behind him when Yaeg, Mael, Brev, Wex, and I arived.
"First thing's first," he said as his eyes lifted to pin Yaem, "I was harsh with you. I'm not sorry for telling you that you couldn't come fight, but I am sorry that I wasn't kinder about it. Will you forgive me?"
Yaem blinked and then said slowly, "I don't know the details, but I know you had to fight for real when you were younger than me... I have been meaning to apologize for how immature I was about the mission... and I wanted to thank you for caring enough to correct me. If you feel you should have been more kind about keeping me safe, I forgive the harsh words. Thank you, Sneaky."
"Good, that's good," he said as he moved on to cleaning a different part, "The five of you aren't exactly kids anymore, are you?" We shook our heads. "But you're not adults either." We shook our heads again. He seemed to be searching the weapon for something, "The most precious thing on this ship is the innocent. The littles are the most innocent, the littles depend on us entirely, so you must suffer damage to your innocence to protect them. I remind you that you voted for this, all five of you did. The Among the Star Tided We Sing sails into danger."
Brev rolled her eyes and started talking, "Stars, we like totall-"
"Stop." The coldness of his voice and eyes sent a chill down my spine, and hers too from her face, "We are talking about keeping the littles alive and safe. Do you understand?"
She gulped and answered, "Yes."
"I don't like it, but I'm an officer, and in this capacity we will be maintaining discipline."
"Yes, sir."
He flinched a little and continued, "There is a scenario in which you might have to fight. Therefore, I refuse to leave you defenseless in that scenario. In the case that we're boarded, and the adults are either overwhelmed or pinned down in a different part of the ship, and the boarders goal is kidnapping, it will fall to you five. Your little brothers and sisters, and cousins and friends will be depending on you. Do you think you're ready?"
"No, sir," Yaem, Brev, and I said immediately.
Mael just looked uncomfortable and Wex shrugged and said, "I don't even know what ready is."
"First, we're going to familiarize you with our most reliable long guns."
"Not the sidearms?"
"The idea that it is easier to shoot a smaller weapon is not correct. Lives might depend on your accuracy, and the long barrel is easier to aim and stabilize. You will be leaning the four hand grip for maximum control," he scowled at Wex and said, "I don't care how stupid you look when you're saving your little sister from slavery."
Nobody felt like complaining after that.
He told us that we'd be rotating in for training on real weapons after the grown ups and dismissed us.
He's weighty when he's serious.

Journal Entry: 38. Date: 1/7/6. Name: Greg George.

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning. I was in the pit again, except instead of fighting the googly eyed fucks made me watch them inject Lucy and Linus. Thank God I woke up before they...
Jesus in a tank, subconscious, did you have to come up with something like that to be afraid of?
I had to hold my plasma caster for an hour to calm down from that shit.
That's the kind of nightmare I don't want to process, I just want to fucking forget. Fuck me sideways, that shit was terrifying.
But this is a sanity journal, so no holding shit back. It's the rule.
Anyway, I'm in more memes, and apparently the idea of me being a plush toy has the net fucking on fire, which is good for sales, which I apparently get an even split with the other four people in the project and the ship. Kind of threw me for a loop that Lucy wanted to do it that way, but she wouldn't be talked out of it.
Some weirdo knitted me.
Like a little yarn doll of me.
Fucking xenos have no goddamn taste, I fucking swear. If they think I'm cute wait until they meet a Doggo. Not a good translation, but I think "good boy" is good enough. Heh. The best thing would be to show the xenos a Doggo with their pet dog. That shit would be funny.
Earthborn adorable is going to make toy companies so much fucking money.
That, and the dart wars. We're already setting up a more structured match at the next station, and since we're going into hyperspace we'll be off the network except for what's basically email or hypercom calls. I'll have someone help me set up an email for the dart wars later, I don't want the address to be accidentally hilarious. If I do something funny, I want it to be on purpose.
Anyway, I briefed the big kids on their extra training today. I think I got it through their heads that it's not a game. Fuck, I hate being an officer. Fucking getting sir-ed fucking sucks.
Anyway, the meeting with the Lord Justiciar, got his name, but fuck spelling that shit. I'm just calling him Fancypants. The meeting with Fancypants went pretty well. Despite him being a big fancy lord or whatever, he was pretty cool. Not as cool as Pops, but at least he wasn't stuffy. Turns out being the captain of a Justiciar is what makes him the lord, and it's meant to avoid confusion when coordinating several civvy ships in an emergency anti-crime action.
I continue to amaze the fuck out of everyone by being sober from drinking tea, and I blew their fucking minds by telling them it's a mild stimulant for me, and I'd brew it stronger if it tasted better. Except Pops, he already knows.
This lead on to what might intoxicate me, and I had a genius fucking idea. I described how we make hooch. From the fermentation of the mash, to distillation, to cask aging. Apparently, they have hooch, unaged shit, but still glorious alcohol, just in tiny amounts since a quarter of a tablespoon, at a rough guess, is enough to make them puke. Which is what it's for, emergency stomach evacuation. When I told them that my preferred method of consumption is to drink what I approximated to be two ounces with the tea over an hour or so, the servant lady fucking fainted. When asked whether I have a high tolerance to the word I'm guessing is alcohol, I told them no. They don't believe me.
It's whatever.
The bad news is that our armory is stocked with about as good as it gets for weapons.
The good news is that armor is available.
What the fucker wanted in exchange...
Oh, I'll get you back for this Fancypants.
I'll het you back.

Log: 6000001.1.03, Personal, Captain Yormdrill

It is daunting, but we are committed. It's been difficult to chart the course with the lowest likelihood of a pirate trap, but it's not like they're consistent about where they rip innocent ships out of hyperspace. Our weapons systems haven't been used since Yaemdrill and I bought her, but I have kept them maintained. Hopefully we won't have cause to use them. Hopefully they'll be enough to drive any pirates away, and Gregory won't have cause to use his skills. Hopefully.
Tea with the Lord Justiciar was interesting. Thankfully, we were not required to dress formally, so I just selected some nice clothes rather than wearing a work jumpsuit. Perhaps appropriate for going to a restaurant, while Gregory did similarly. Unfortunately, to his view, his nice clothes are somewhat brightly colored which only served to make him look more adorable. We were admitted to his private quarters, which were rather lavish, as he had a tea room.
"Apologies, my wife will not be joining us," he said as a maid poured the tea, "she is busy passing judgement on some criminals."
"My wife also sends her regrets, as she is cargo master to the Upon the Star Tides We Sing, she is preoccupied in filling her holds. Our most recent course has been a significant loss."
"I don't have a wife," Gregory said when the Lord Justiciar looked to him, then he amazed the Lord Justiciar and Major or the Landers by nonchalantly sipping enough tea for a normal person to quickly feel its effects. "Like I said last time, my name seems hard on you, so just go with either Greg or Sneaky."
"Shouldn't you slow down?" the Major asked.
"You worried I'll get inebriated? This stuff is a mild stimulant for me."
"You jest, surly," the Lord Justiciar said as he stirred some sweetener into his tea.
"Drop an ice cube in this scorching stuff and I'll gulp it down right now," he said before blowing across the rim to cool it.
"It's true, he brews it far stronger for himself at home."
"I'm limited by taste more than anything at this point. Any stronger and it goes from pleasantly bitter to disgustingly bitter."
Our hosts looked shocked in a most satisfying way, and the Lord Justiciar forgot himself well enough to ask, "Do your people get intoxicated by anything in the void?"
"Oh, lots of stuff. We have stimulants that can be dangerous, painkillers that can be abused, mushrooms and chemicals that cause hallucinations. Lots of things, some more or less dangerous to take."
"Do you ever intoxicate yourself?"
"Well, my drug of choice is... void it, we make it by making a grain mash, introducing microbes that eat the sugars, then distilling the intoxicant by boiling it and putting the steam through a condenser tube. Then it's put into wooden casks to pick up flavor for a few years."
"You drink alcohol?"
"If alcohol is made the way I describe. Mind you it's not always made the same way back home, there are kinds that are only strained rather than distilled for more flavor and lower concentration of... alcohol?"
The maid fainted, and there was a bit to commotion as some of her coworkers checked to make sure she did not hit her head, then as they helped her stumble out to lie down somewhere a bit more comfortable than the floor, I explained the proper use of alcohol to him. One of the stirring spoons proved a useful visual aid.
"Sorry for all of the..." Gregory gestured toward the door, and continued, "But I still don't have any names."
The Lord Justiciar looked starteled and said, "Apologies, how rude of me. I am Xandred, this is my Major of the Landers, Voxvov."
"I'm pleased to meet you both properly. Did you want to discuss anything in particular, or did you just want to shoot breaches into nothing?"
"Into nothing? Void that," Voxvov chuckled, "In the first place I wanted to get to know you in a less official setting. You're less... stiff than the debriefing."
"We're having a chat over drinks, even if I can't feel them the way you do. Breach me if I don't know a friendly gesture when I see one. Then again, you're both busy men, so you must want something out of this."
"Not as busy as you'd think," Xandred answered, "I just captain this tub of justice. Once the target is orderly again, there's not much for me to do. No captains to coordinate, no egos to sooth, no overeager militias to trim in. All things considered, things went rather well here."
"Forgive me if I have a somewhat dimmer assessment."
"Apologies, Yormdrill, I was talking about how you all handled the situation after the crime was suffered. I have seen captains make a mess of things rather than restoring order."
"That's mostly Mom. We went planetside to get my brother back."
"Speaking of planetside, I hear you're a Lander to your people."
"My job was as an advance scout and overwatch sniper."
"Similar to what we do. But my lieutenant insists that you were fired onto the battlefield in an escape pod."
"Stealth drop pods. They're single use only."
"Excuse me?"
"Standard insertion for advance scouts is via stealth drop pods."
Xandred looked pale as he nearly whispered, "That implies the existence of non-stealth drop pods."
"Yes, the assault drop pods deliver the shock troops to establish a... landing place."
They looked so satisfyingly horrified that I couldn't help from adding, "He maintains that his nation has never lost a scout before landfall."
"A shuttle would be far safer..."
"A big, fat, slow target would be safer in peacetime. Sure. But my job isn't peaceful. Wasn't peaceful..."
"It is well to think of such things," Voxvov said after a sip of tea, "I am considering taking on a civilian roll soon, but I do not think the attitudes of a man of action shall ever leave me."
"Well, apparently there are civilian ships in dire need of combat reediness drills."
I scowled at him while the others nodded gravely. "If more captains in this reigon took it seriously, you might have had more than sixty men to complete the work," Voxvov opined.
"That's plenty for a lieutenant. Not a full... I don't know the translation. Anyway, it's close to a commission for a lieutenant."
"Is that the case in your military?"
"Well, it might be more or less depending on the formation, especially when it comes to vehicles."
"I see..."
"The biggest issue was that we were underequipped."
"You did rather well..."
"Yes, but for instance, I had to reposition after every shot. I have a magnetic accelerator now, but that plasma caster isn't very subtle when it fires. Also, we had to be particularly carful about cover since we weren't armored. Additionally, we didn't have a tactical network, just local coms. That's a bigger deal than you'd think, a mission can change in an instant, and if that change is communicated quickly and accurately it can save lives."
"I see... your nova is well earned," Xandred remarked.
"I will try not to tarnish it, sir. I was only doing what's right."
"Speaking of doing what's right," Voxvov mused, "I heard another rumor. It's said you're going after Beastmaster Selvace."
"And what if we are?" I asked.
"That would depend on your purpose."
"If you're just after putting the void sucker through an airlock for revenge, well we can't stop you, but you'll not have the protection of the treaties."
"That googly eyed void mating piece of scorched waste knows where my brothers' place of safety is. I need to know how he got close, how he got past detection, and how he got away alive, and somehow get that information to the Republic. If it happened to me, it can happen again."
"It is well that you were a castaway as shipwreck, and not marooned. This threat to yours is a threat to ours, as you are a Star Sailor," Xandred said solemnly.
"In that case, we can offer some support. I've been watching the local weapons market, and it seems that you've taken up the best of what's available. I wanted one of those new flechette launchers for my own use."
"I was hoping for some chemical propellant weapons. Electromagnetic attacks would leave us vulnerable."
"I can't help you there. But what about some armor and extra personnel?"
"The We Sing is mostly cargo space. Our quarters deck could take on maybe two squads. Getting Linus back was enough to risk our chain of command, but in future actions I'd rather Pops stay on the bridge. Uncle too."
I tried to hide my cringe, "If I had been more disciplined in drilling the crew with small arms, then perhaps my brother and I would have taken on a command role instead."
Voxvov smiled into his tea and said, "It just so happens that this beastmaster is also a wanted pirate. Good hunting lads."

From the Memoir of Beastmaster Selvace

Having escaped the warmbloods putting their disgustingly hair covered fingers where they're not needed or wanted, I sought out more information. Apparently an underboss did the one egg breaking thing you just never do, and kidnapped one of the blue warmbloods. Of all of the lesser beings, the blues just lack the understanding of their place in this galaxy. This Jacauvian galaxy.
What I found out was rotted stupid. Apparently, Umbvia Syndicate was dismantled by the beast from beyond the Monvan gulf, or at least that's what the blues are claiming. They're mocking us. I say we go back to scalping them. A fine cloak of their prized braids, a new one. The one I inherited from my great, great, great brood matron is a fine thing, but too precious for wearing. The scalps of this We Sing would doo nicely. Then we put the beast back where it belongs.
Enough pain will teach it that it's an animal or a primitive again.
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My upstairs neighbor leaves his 2 dogs running free on the stairs and they keep pissing and shiting on my house door even on my shoes and every ware else the stairs smell from the dogs, I pay his wife to clean the stairs in the extra cost, some times they will throw trash and cigarette on my balcony. they are tight with the house owner and knows him really good and they are living here sense ever. one time I parked in an spot that was not my parking spot because someone was using my spot and the wife got crazy she was knocking my door and screaming because I used another parking.
There is why more but not going list everything but am asking how i can deal with people like that?

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I’m looking to replace my aluminum front door with a wooden one. I live in South Florida and I know that the humidity plays a role in how the door will hold up, but I’m sure people in Florida still have wooden doors? I had one growing up and we never had an issue with it. In fact, I don’t think we ever replaced it. One of the companies that I called for a quote told me that no one buys wooden exterior doors anymore because they rot. Thoughts?

I’ve felt so much pressure in my life to be different things. I’ve tried being masculine/feminine, I’ve medically transitioned , I’ve changed myself dozens of times all because I find myself disgusting. I can’t believe how weak I’ve been, unable to accept myself as a feminine gay male. gay males around me are coping just fine and enjoying life, having relationships/sex, social lives and I’ve just self sabotaged myself. I never found community and isolated myself from the world. I had potential to be an attractive gay man and now I have to rely on men with paraphilia to find me attractive. That being said being more androgynous due to hormones has made me happy. But occasionally I want to look like an attractive gay man , to embody what I’m attracted to, which makes me sad because I don’t anymore and never really did. I really don’t want to be a man but I don’t want to pretend to be a woman. I don’t want to be myself. It feels impractical and unwanted to be a feminine man. I want to be normal so badly. I have hope but thinking about how I’ve never enjoyed my life and don’t know what’s next is hard to bear. A preacher came to my door and I almost asked him about conversion therapy

Or trying to trick Christians with saying that in a Christian marriage everything is approved as long as consensual(which is a lie).
Like i literally had an atheist(possibly he was anti-theist on top of that) who said how 1 Corinthians 7:5 means that non reproductive degenerations like anal, facials and roleplay are approved in marriage.
So what`s the point? Even if you succeed into tricking some cultural Christian to commit that deed, it doesn`t matter universally. Bottom line its pointless.

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/11yvdle/i_had_an_uncle_with_thirteen_fingers_there_were/
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Ahead of me, there was an opening in the massive chamber. The darkness parted way to reveal what looked like a nest. Ancient tomes had been torn into pieces, the scraps of paper and leather bindings forming a circular hollow ten feet wide. I heard subtle movement within, like someone walking on crisp autumn leaves. Moving slowly, I approached the nest, soft light glowing from an unknown source that seemed to emanate from the walls, ceiling and floor.
Within the center of the nest, I saw what looked like dozens of leeches slithering over each other, writhing and twisting in a pile. But these were far larger than any leeches I had ever seen back home. Each one looked like it had to be at least a foot long, black and shining, with tiny, oval eyes on stalks that all turned towards me at the same time. They gave off a low, hissing sound, others joining in a murmuring susurration that sent chills running up and down my spine. The nest itself seemed to be held together with some sort of mucus, splinters of wood and shreds of paper connected by a phlegmy, pale-yellow substance.
Echoes rang out in the chamber. Something massive moved far off in the darkness, but the acoustics made it impossible to tell which direction it came from or how close it really was. The leeches moved at once, agitated and wriggling faster as the noise echoed back and forth, and underneath them, I saw a human body. I gasped in horror.
It was an old man. He appeared to be dead, his eyes shut tightly. Countless holes had been drilled into his skin, letting rivulets of blood run down his body from each of them. I inched closer, trying to get a better look.
That was when he inhaled a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes looking back and forth randomly, yet apparently seeing nothing. With a shaky exhalation, I backed away quickly, starting to cry. It crossed my mind that I should go into the nest and try to save him, if he even could be saved. His lips were a cyanotic blue, his fingernails and toenails also turning a purplish-blue color. He breathed deeper and faster, coughing and gasping, and then stopped again, his eyes turning glassy as he stared up at the ceiling. This continued for a minute or two, his breathing starting and stopping, and then his head fell to the side, his eyes left open and staring as his last grating breath exited his lungs. The leeches swarmed all over his corpse. Without a look backwards, I ran deeper into the chamber.
Doors had begun to appear on both sides of the wall as the chamber went deeper into nowhere. I ran over to a cluster of them, looking from one to the other. They all had the same beautiful mahogany wood, but on each, a different symbol had been cast.
The one in front of me showed a single green eye, dripping blood that constantly pooled on the floor underneath the door. The one ten feet to the left of it showed a little ship on some blue waves. The one far to the right showed a massive pyramid. I froze, not knowing which, if any, I should open.
The choice was taken away from me when I heard that same hissing sound behind me that the tentacled-monster had made before. I glanced back and saw it slithering towards me, less than twenty feet away, opening its jaw as it closed in. Without thinking, I opened the door with the bloody eye on it, slamming it shut behind me. Seconds later, I heard something heavy thud into it. I saw that, on this side at least, there were heavy metal deadbolts near the handle. I began to feel something trying to turn the handle on the other side.
I was only a small boy, weighing maybe 65 pounds soaking wet, but I pulled back against the handle with all of it. I felt the door starting to open slightly, as if the creature was just testing the handle, figuring out how it worked. Covered in sweat now, I pulled back harder, flicking the deadbolt and letting go of the handle as soon as it clicked into place. The handle swung wildly to the right and left as the thing on the other side violently twisted it, but I ignored it, backing slowly away. I hadn’t even seen where I was.
The door shuddered as something heavy landed against it on the other side. This repeated over and over. Running away, I heard the splintering of wood.
I looked around and realized I was in some kind of castle. Beautiful stonework surrounded me on all sides, covered by banners with the symbol of the sickly, bleeding eye. I had taken the dagger out and was holding it pointed directly in front of me when I heard the first boards of the door fall inwards behind me. Turning to glance one last time at the entrance, I saw tentacles with fanged suckers began to shoot through, searching for prey. At that point, I ran blindly ahead.
My footfalls sent echoes across the castle chamber. I ran past an antechamber and a set of dozens of marble stairs inlaid with silver and gold that must have cost a fortune. Ahead of me, I saw a door of thick wood, covered with criss-crossing strips of iron to reinforce it. Gasping for air, I ran through the threshold and immediately slammed the door behind me. The door was able to be locked from the inside with an ancient-looking deadbolt. It clicked into place, and outside, all I heard was silence.
I turned and realized I was in a giant library. Bookshelves rose to the ceiling thirty feet above me, and each one was completely full of ancient tomes. I recognized some of them as being similar to the books on the desk when I first entered Golgotha, and I wondered who was bringing them out there- or why.
A beautiful oak desk sat near the far wall. It had a book open on it, surrounded by trinkets and oddities. One of these was a globe, but the continents on it were all wrong. They showed a world where all the continents were smashed together, and on the other side of the globe was a massive ocean.
The book had opened to a random page in the first chapter. Peering down, I saw it was written in English.
“The secretion of the Golgoths,” it stated, “is used to feed their young. While the larvae of the Golgoths are able to live on meat or blood from any animal or human, they are not able to develop into adults without the secretion laid over the nest by a female.
“The secretion appears as a yellowish, gelatinous material covering the nests of the Golgaths. Recent tests have shown that it has various substances unknown on Earth. Among these are alien growth hormones, certain neurotransmitters not found in any natural terrestrial lifeform, and…” At that moment, something smashed into the door- hard. It held, but some of the wood had cracked. The iron reinforcements did a good job of holding it together, however. I kept reading farther down the page.
“When this secretion is given to human beings, it acts as a psychoactive drug. Studies have shown it increases reaction time ten-fold, as well as increasing the speed and strength of those who take it. Beyond these potential beneficial side effects, however, loom the adverse ones.
“The secretion is a known mutagen, able to alter the DNA of those who take it. The offspring of those previously or currently addicted to the secretion have shown numerous effects, including an increased number of toes and fingers, an increased risk of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and, in rare cases, multiple heads or bodies fused together. Some have also shown beneficial effects, including an increased healing rate, higher IQs and, very rarely, psychic phenomena.
“The secretion is also physically addictive, with a euphoric rush that has been described by many subjects as ‘orgasmic’ with an instantaneous rush, releasing far more dopamine than commonly abused recreational drugs such as heroin, cocaine or methamphetamine…”
The entire time, that monster, which according to the book I was reading was called a Golgath, kept smashing its body against the door. I should have ran rather than standing there reading, but I felt like whatever this book contained was important, perhaps even vital for my survival. And yet the forcefulness and violence the Golgath exhibited was astounding. No human could have damaged such a door by sheer brute strength, but this one creature had already caused the wood to splinter and the iron reinforcements to bend inwards. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever. I grabbed the book, closing it and shoving the thin volume into the back of my pants underneath my belt, taking my shirt and covering it up.
I looked around the room frantically, finding a small servant’s door on the far side of it, hidden in the corner. I ran for it as the main entrance door came down with a crash. Flinging it open, I flew through it.
Multiple people worked there, cooking and preparing tea and coffee and other drinks. They all looked up at me in shock and surprise as I sprinted through the kitchen. It smelled absolutely delectable, like ginger, peppermint, fresh bread, bacon, pastrami and green tea, and my stomach growled. I realized it had been a long time since I had eaten or drank anything. I wished I could stop and grab something off the counters on my way, but I heard the Golgath close behind me.
The yells of the kitchen staff at seeing an unknown boy turned to horrified screams as the monster slithered in. Disengaging its jaw, it allowed its dozens of tentacles to spring out at once, whipping around in a frenzy. I saw one pick a chef up by his leg, dangling him upside down in the air. Another tentacle went for his jugular vein, biting into him and releasing a spray of blood as it began to feed. I kept running, knowing that I would be next if I didn’t get out of there.
The kitchen connected to a huge dining chamber, a bare table long enough to hold forty or fifty people set up in the middle. And standing on top of it, I saw another Golgoth. It slithered forward towards me. A second one was coming through the main entrance to the dining hall, and the one in the kitchen behind me must have been nearly done feeding, as the screaming of the kitchen staff had all ceased.
They began to close in on me. I shut my eyes tight, tears of horror and panic slipping past my eyelids, waiting for the end and hoping it would be quick and relatively painless. And then, just when I assumed everything was lost, a voice came from the front entrance of the dining chamber.
“Now, now, what’s the meaning of this?” an angry male voice yelled. “Who’s letting all these Golgaths in?” I opened my eyes. The three Golgaths, which were all less than twenty feet away from me now, turned their black, reptilian heads towards the newcomer in unison.
The man was a disturbing sight. He had on black robes and carried a heavy walking stick with an iridescent, shimmering quartz crystal on top. His hood was pulled back, and I saw his eyes were gone. They looked like they had been cut out, the eyelids stitched back together over the empty sockets. His face was a map of old scars, his nose half-missing and oozing pus. His jaw looked like it had been repeatedly broken and healed without being set properly. Blood trickled down his face from his empty eye sockets, continuously dripping onto the floor. Even though there was no possible way he could have seen me in that condition, his face was pointed at me, as if he were staring directly at me.
The three Golgaths all hissed at him. Ignoring me, they all went at him at once, slithering and sending out their worm-like tentacles. The stench of the Golgaths as they all clustered together was putrid and overwhelming, reminding me of rotten eggs and starter fluid.
Almost lazily, he raised his thick wooden staff and began to swing it in an arc, back and forth. The nearest Golgath ignored it, jumping for him anyway. Fire swelled from the crystal, shooting out in clusters at the Golgath’s face and tentacles. I smelled burning meat, and it began to wail, its shriek deafening me, sounding more and more like a tornado siren as it rose to a crescendo. I tried to cover my ears as I ran back the way I had come.
I grabbed a few fresh rolls off the counter in the kitchen as I went, stuffing them in my mouth. They were delicious. It was the first food I had had in what felt like forever, and already I felt a small burst of energy from them. Then I saw the corpses of the kitchen staff, still bleeding on the floor. They looked like they had been sucked dry, their faces sunken, dozens of round slices on each of their bodies. None moved or breathed. I wanted to stop and cry then, but I forced myself to keep going, knowing I would end up just like them if I didn’t get out of this place.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I headed back towards the nest I had seen, the one with all the Golgath larvae feasting on the dead body. The cries of the robed man and the shrieking of the Golgaths followed me out of the castle. I burst through the shattered remnants of the door with the eye on it and knelt down over the nest.
The larvae started to slither towards me. I heard more hissing from multiple directions all around me, and realized that there might be hundreds or thousands of adult monstrosities in this chamber. My only hope, at least as I saw it, was to take any advantage I could get.
I grabbed a handful of the yellowish secretions from the corner of the nest, forcing it in my mouth and down my throat before I could change my mind.

I was sexually assaulted by my BF whom I met first time in my life. We have been in long distance relationship for 2 years. We came to know each other through a common friends. We used to talk on and off. I have been 2 months in this country I went to visit him for the first time to his place keeping in mind both of us belong to the country with strong religious practices and it’s the holy month of Ramadan, nothing can escalate between us, but I was wrong. When I reached his location he came out with a flower and he started kissing me and holding me tight against his body he was hurting my shoulder. I told him to stop to which his answer was I love you. We had a dinner and he was about to touch me I shouted said don’t touch me again. He said don’t shout neighbour will hear you. I made it clear if he touches me against my will I will scream let the neighbour hear it.I then proceeded to sleep on bedroom and commanded him to sleep in the hall. In the morning by 8:30 he opened the bedroom door and throw himself on top of me. Within a seconds he was naked and started removing my trousers. I obviously, fought back, but this monster was bigger than me. I put my hand on my private part and didn’t allow him to remove my underwear he tried to penetrate on top of my underwear, but he was unsuccessful. After several attempts he gave up and went. Neither he was sorry not guilty for doing such an evil act. I was waiting for the moment to escape since I’m not familiar with the place I just waited for the moment when he will go out. Instead, he wanted me to go with him to open a bank account so I thought this way I can escape from him. Now, interesting part while I was with him in the bank I came to know his true name and real age 30 which he deceived me all the time saying he is the same age as me. I also learned he was married back home. It’s such a shame these creatures exist in this planet. Not to mention he had come to England as refugee and asylum seeker. Since, government is helping him this monster has been living his life, he is unemployed since 3 years due to language barrier he isn’t able to get a job. I knew he cheated me in the past, he was showing off naked photos of the women and he was proud that he can get sex easily by hosting those women at his house. The moment he knew I was coming over he turned off his what’s app and he would not allow me to check his phone. Long story short I managed to escape when he went out to bring bank statement from previous bank and blocked his number and from all social media.
Tldr: Long distance BF attempted to rape me should I report it or get over it as I’m not willing to be involved in court procedures instead of dragging things I tend to forget and move on. I’m not sure how long the case will last and what are the inputs required from my side.

Turin, gojid Cradle ecologist.
Date [standardised human time]: May 5th, 2120
(16 years, 4 months before the invasion of the gojid Cradle).
Turin was pacing rapidly. She had checked, unpacked, and re-checked their first aid supplies. She had cleared the house of clutter and gone over their contingencies. But all the busy work had been done, and now Turin had to face it. This was it; this was the trap that Juran had set.
Braq’s voice had been curt and desperate on the radio having signaled her from Ki-yu’s den. A pair of children had been spotted on the mountain pass cameras, right where the roht tracks had been found. He had warned her to keep back, be ready to call assistance. It made sense, and without a second buggy she would not reach them for hours on foot anyway. But that left her and Imdi to sit and wait. Turin could not allow her fear to rule her, it would only distress her son.
Turin made two shaky cups of tea, trying to distract them with his homework. It was a simple short essay, but the lad struggled with his letters at the best of times. Just sitting beside him, she reflected on how much Imdi had grown. He was still a little boy, helpless in his own way, but clearly a person besides. What a strange symbiosis parenthood is; we need our children as much as they need us. Her mind wandered to the two youths on the trail camera. It could only have been Yotun and Callio, they were the closest, and the most likely to go wandering.
Juran’s played us, she realised. Either we call for help and acknowledge that there are dangerous predators here, or we feign ignorance and become complicit. Either way…
“Why…?” she whispered absentmindedly.
“Why what, Mama?” Imdi asked beside her. She shook her head, giving him a casual pat.
“Sorry sweetheart, I got distracted.” If we call for help we damn ourselves, if we don’t we damn ourselves again. We can hide Ki-yu, but we can’t hide this…
Turin snatched up the radio when it burst into static. It was something of a relief, even if it was short-lived. The mountainous terrain interfered with the signal, but Braq’s broken voice told her enough. The girl is dead, all others injured. She stood there with the silent handheld pressed to her ear. She heard the ocean roar about her mind, crashing white water above a darkened abyss. Braq and Ki-yu are still alive. She took the thought and lit it as a lamp to light her cabin.
"No,” she whispered. He can play his game, but I won't.
Turin called the ambulance right away. It would be at least two hours before a first responder reached them from the city. At the very least that gave them plenty of time to hide their daughter away. She was shaking as she made the last of three calls, the ringing signal grating against her quills.
“What’s happening Mama?” Imdi asked, still sitting at the table. With a heavy breath, she sat beside him once more. He looked at her quizzically as she pulled him away from his homework.
“It, uh, it seems that Callio and Yotun wandered onto the property. They’ve been hurt.”
“Hurt?” he squeaked. “Hurt bad?” She nodded, trying to keep her expression calm rather than crestfallen.
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m so sorry…”
~*~
They heard the buggy coming before they saw it, the roar of its engine waking Turin from the windowsill with a start. Imdi awoke in her lap as she moved to her feet, rubbing his raw eyes groggily. A quick glance at the clock told her it had been about an hour. She updated the silent countdown in her head, a sliver of worry that she had called for help too soon.
“Oh,” Imdi whimpered, looking up at her with a tear-dried face.
“Shh…” she coddled him. “Don’t worry.”
The buggy came screeching to a halt outside, and Turin took a breath to steady herself. We just have to keep moving, crest one wave and then the next.
Braq’s silhouette was already exiting the vehicle as she charged out the front door and toward the buggy. The afternoon sun had crashed into a meagre pale sundown, the lightest of yellows across the western sky.
“Braq!” she called out, blinded by the vehicle’s headlights. She almost stopped before she reached them, the smell of blood was frightfully strong. “Wha-?!”
“Keep him back!” Braq barked, cutting off the engine and the lights before he leaned into the backseat. Turin set down their son with a quick kiss. She hurried forward as Braq pulled back. Their daughter hung limply in his arms. A strip of pale fabric had been tied tight about her tail, slowly staining scarlet.
“Oh, Protector…” Turin moaned, reaching for the girl. Her endarkened eyelids fluttered at her voice, lips drawing into a pained smile as she felt Turin’s paw on her face.
“Mama…” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Turin whispered, “you’re home now.” Yotun was sitting idly in the passenger seat, watching them intensely. The look on his tear-marked face was one Turin thought belonged on war veterans and cattle victims.
“Th-the girl?” she asked weakly.
“She’s on the backseat,” Braq said hoarsely, blocking her path as she tried to look around him. “D-don’t,” he groaned. “Just don’t.” Yotun slid out of his seat. Turin glanced over at her son who was fretting with his claws nearby. “Imdi go help Yotun inside.”
“O-okay,” he mumbled. His eyes went wide at the long gashes in the approaching boy’s forearm, but he just swallowed hard and took his other paw. “Is Ku going to be okay?” he asked worriedly.
“Ku…” Yotun wheezed, almost a laugh.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” she murmured, nodding to the lodge. “Go on.” She looked up at her partner's haggard face, silently asking the same.
“Broken tail,” he said, “cr-cracked ribs I’d suspect.”
“Internal damage? A haemorrhage?”
“N-no I don’t think so,” he panted, hobbling past her toward the house. The breath left her at the sight of her beloved’s back.
“Braq!” she gasped. A pair of long diagonal slashes had been cut from shoulder blade to pelvis, broken spines hanging loosely. Whilst the bleeding had stopped, the exposed tissue was shifting and raw beneath his torn hide. He was also limping, she saw, a fearful bitemark around his right ankle. Turin wanted to scream as she started after him.
“I’m okay,” he grunted, shifting all his weight onto his left leg as he walked. No, no you’re not! “Looks worse than it is. You called the parents?” he continued, ignoring their torment.
“Y-yeah,” she mumbled as they hurried through the threshold. Imdi had sat Yotun on the couch and was carefully setting out one of the first aid kits. The skinny boy looked up stiffly as they entered. “At least Laenar and Arrut. They’ll be here soon. Teraka didn’t answer.” Braq let out a shuddering sigh.
“W-we need to get her sorted before they arrive,” he said. With a short yip of pain, Ki-yu reached out for the couch. Her dark paw gripped Yotun’s shoulder stopping them from passing, the boy wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the contact. Ki-yu’s voice was slurred and lethargic, each breath heavy and deliberate.
“Pretty… drawings…” she wheezed. “Remember… burn… the forest…” Yotun bristled. Turin reached down and gently unhooked her claws, taking some comfort in their strength still despite her injuries.
“Hide her,” she told Braq. He shook his head.
“I n-need to get Callio from the buggy.”
“No, you look after Ki-yu,” she said firmly. “I’ll go get her.”
“N-no, it’s bad, I ca-”
“Braq, beloved. Look after her.” Braq looked quickly from Turin to the girl in his arms, before reluctantly nodding. Ki-yu was still mumbling as Braq walked with her down to her hidden bedding room.
“W-woods… stars…” Turin heard her say.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Braq whispered to her. “Try and rest.” Imdi tugged at Turin’s leg.
“Baba’s hurt…” her son mumbled.
“I know,” she said, rubbing his scalp. “He’s just got to look after Ki-yu for a little while. Okay?”
“O-okay…” He looked at her more insistently. “Mama, is Ku gonna be alright?”
“I…” He should not have to see any of this. The words caught in her throat, so she just nodded. “Why don’t you go help Baba, hm?”
“Okay…” he mumbled, doddering down the gloomy hall after them. Turin wished she could join them, to hold them all close and whisper sweet nothings.
If I stop now, I’ll drown.
Turin moved to where Imdi had studiously spread out the first aid kit and crouched down.
“Hey,” she said as softly as possible. “I need to take a look at that.”
Yotun flinched as she touched him, from fear or pain she knew not which. Turin pulled the arm straight as tenderly as she could. Yotun whimpered as she washed out the wound but otherwise said nothing. He just sat there, numb, quiet, and broken. The mother in her wailed. I can mend his arm at least. She bandaged it carefully, gave him some painkillers, and told him to try and rest.
Still, even that task was preferable to what Turin had to do next. She retrieved some white sheets from the laundry. They were not true funerary shrouds, specially thickened to prevent the dead’s quills from piercing the fabric, but they would do.
The pre-night gloom was setting in as Turin stepped outside again. The cool air carried a crying choir of forest creatures, making Turin feel like she was standing in a dream. She walked stiffly out to the buggy, stopping before she had the chance to look inside. The smell had only grown, but it was more than mere disgust; a bubble of terror encircled the vehicle. Crushing down the thundering panic before it built, Turin peered into the buggy. On one backseat was a small body, partially obscured by a bloodied poncho. Callio’s creamy fur peaked from beneath the fabric in places, tinged a dark blue. A tide of azure had flowed down into the seats, building a dried pattern in the footwell.
Turin turned away, stifling a keen. She remembered their first meeting, how that harrowing confrontation had become a cheerful moment of play by the seaside. She was so happy, Turin recalled. So bright. No more… Collecting herself, she retrieved the rifle, wedged haphazardly into the driver’s door, noting how the metalwork had buckled around the central chamber. She shrugged the strap over her shoulder and turned back to the body. I will not flinch, she told herself as she pulled back the covering. We owe her that much.
She did not balk, but it hurt her not to.
Callio lay on her side with closed eyes, curled up as if asleep. She was as at peace as she could be. Turin spread the sheet across the ground and moved to lay the girl to rest. She shuddered and stopped when shifting the torso made the head turn unnaturally, biting into the back of her own paw to stop herself from screaming. This could have been Braq… or Ki-yu… or even Imdi… Oh, Protector… With a shaky sigh, she laid her down on the sheet and, as respectfully as she could, Turin enwrapped the girl in white. The death of her aunt had been the first time Turin had seen loss, felt grief. To see that plump woman, full of raucous laughter, fond of gaiety and song, reduced to a body enwrapped and entombed…
Turin decided that she hated pale sheets as she carried Callio inside.
She laid the body on the table, then placed the broken weapon on the counter. Yotun still sat stiffly on the couch, as unmoving as a statue. Turin covered the first shawl with a thicker sheet, the form appearing less and less like a person. Looking down she saw blood had soaked onto her overalls, all over her paws. The clothing was ruined, but Turin would never want to wear it again anyway. She stripped and tossed her clothing into the bin. It felt as though the smell had sunk through her skin. She moved to the sink, trying to scrub the blood from herself, but the sponge just came away blue. She turned on the hot water until it was near scalding, trying to clean beneath her claws. It sloughed off her, falling into the inky depths. Turin made a quiet sob, shaking her head to try and will away her wet eyes.
“Mama?” Imdi squeaked behind her. Turin coughed, drying her hands.
“Yes, sweetheart?” she said, quickly wiping her tears. The boy was looking at the body with tearful eyes.
“Wh-what’s happening?” Falling to one knee, she pulled him to her breast.
“Something terrible, love.” She kissed his forehead, the smell of him like a prescient memory, cleansing the nauseating tones of death.
“Mama… I’m scared.”
“I know, it’ll be okay,” she whispered, swallowing to stop her voice from breaking.
“I d-don’t want to be scared,” he whispered. “I wanna be fearless, like you.” Turin let out a tearful chuckle. She leaned back against the cabinet, holding her son’s head gently in her paws.
“I’m not fearless,” she told him. His dark brown eyes were searching her own, the scar on his lip twitching. “Wanna know a secret? Everyone feels scared from time to time.”
“Even Ku?”
“Aheh… maybe a little.” She smiled as she flattened his spines. My handsome little man. “Listen. There’ll be many times in your life when you feel afraid.” She curled a knuckle on his breast. “Where you feel it ball up, right here, and you want to run away and hide. That fear will always be there. But you don’t have to run and hide. That fear can make you strong and brave if you let it push you. And the only way to do that is to try. So,” she rubbed his cheeks with the balls of her thumbs, ”will you be brave?” He snuffled, his tiny face pulling into a fretted smile.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll try.” She brought her forehead to his.
“Good boy.” The soft fur of his face tickled her nose.
If I stop now I’ll drown.
“We’ll, uh, be having visitors soon,” she rasped, pulling back. “I… need to get ready… Why don’t you try and get ready for bed, hm?” The boy nodded a little reluctantly, disappearing down the hall once more.
Turin tried to distract herself by scrubbing through the security footage again, focusing her efforts on the hills around the attack. All trace of her needed to be cleared. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Imdi come toddling back. He sat on the couch beside the thinner boy.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey,” Yotun replied, his eyes foggy and distant.
“Your arm…” Imdi mumbled, glancing cagily at him. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah.” Yotun sniffed. He looked at the table, as though seeing it for the first time. The white cloth was a shroud over too small a body. “Your… ‘sister’… an arxur?”
“My sister,” Imdi said dryly, his gaze also lingering on the dead girl. “The arxur.” He sniffed. Then he sniffled. Very quickly he was crying, the quiet sound breaking Yotun from his stupor. An instant later the older boy was sobbing too and, in a moment that broke Turin’s heart, he put his working arm around the younger boy. The two leaned on each other for strength and cried.
Turin did what she could. She lit the fire, gave them blankets, and made some more tea. When she brought it to them, she found they had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
Soon thereafter, Braq hobbled back into the room. Her beloved wore a weary, complex expression as he looked at the sleeping boys, but she could see him take note of, then close off the sight of the girl on the table.
“Passed out,” he reported, moving to her side. “She was in a lot of pain. I’ve, uh, put some ice on her ribs, best we can do is to keep her still for a bit.”
“Oh, she’ll hate that,” Turin mumbled. She nodded to the boys. “This one should be okay, at least in the arm.”
“He, uh… was brave.” Braq conferred quietly. “I think he tried to lure it away from… from her, but…” He shook his head. “Stupid boy… What about the cameras?”
“Just going over the more recent stuff,” Turin said. Braq groaned deeply, then hissed at the twisting broken skin of his back as he leaned forward. Turin stood and pulled him toward the better-lit kitchen.
“Come here, let me sort you out.” Grumbling, her partner begrudgingly followed her.
His ankle had started to swell, the skin a deep purple. They applied some ice to bring down the swelling, but it would need to be thoroughly washed as well. Making him swallow some painkillers, she laid him face down on the countertop to clean his back.
“What happened?” she asked as she brought some hot water and cloth.
“She’d caught scent of it, found a path it was using regularly. We set up the bait, had headed back to her den to check the cameras.” He hissed as she layered on the first cloth. “That’s when we saw them. They were heading –ah!– right for it. I-I drove as fast as I could but…” His paws shook with anxious energy. “I told her to stay back, stay hidden but she didn’t listen. Heh,” he snorted sardonically. “Good thing too.” He looked her dead in the eye over his shoulder. “She killed it. Damn near ripped its head off.” Turin focused hard on the cleaning, trying not to mull over the implications. The disinfectant stung more than the water, Braq’s back taught from stress, fatigue, and pain. Turin kept talking to distract him.
“If, um, someone finds it, they’ll see her teeth marks…”
“I hid that,” he said. “Gun nearly blew apart, but I shot it point blank. Should look like I got it.” Yes… that could work… She took the opportunity to wash the wound in his ankle, the mucky, bloodied fluid staining the floor.
“I’ll have to clean that up,” Braq groaned, his face pressing into the countertop. Turin chuckled, tossing down a towel.
“You better,” she said glibly. Now cleaned, she could see the clear paired punctures where the roht’s canines had dug in, one tooth piercing to the bone. She wrapped it up tightly.
“Lover… the paramedics will have to have a look at this.”
“Figured,” he grumbled. Now clean, she sutured shut the broken hide of her beloved’s broad back. It would scar, and he may even lose quills, but it would heal. Braq got up almost before the last suture went in.
“You should sit and rest,” she told him, grabbing his wrist.
“So should you,” he said without spite. His paw came up beneath her chin, and she saw in his eyes the same wailing despair she felt. If I stop now I’ll drown. Braq made to hug her, but she stopped him with a palm on his chest.
“Please don’t…” she pleaded. She needed to stay strong for now. He took her paw and rubbed it absently but nodded. With a shaky sniff, he gestured to the sleeping boys.
“One of us needs to talk to him,” he said. “Which one do you want?”
“I-I’ll do it. Go keep an eye on the kids.” She squeezed his paw and kissed it. “We’ll be okay.”
“I know.” he said, leaving her leaning against the counter. He at least seemed to believe it. Braq leaned over the couch and lifted his son as carefully as he could, wincing at the pain in his foot. He nestled him in the crook of his massive arms, and walked down to his room.
With a heavy sigh, Turin sat down on the couch beside Yotun, still curled up in sleep.
“Yotun?” She tapped his knee. He stirred quickly with a frantic, panicked breath, crawling across the cushions. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Y-you didn’t,” he mumbled, drawing the blanket about him.
“Is your arm still hurting?” The boy nodded weakly, not meeting her eyes.
“Here,” she gave him his lukewarm cup of tea, noticing how his paws twitched and shuddered. Turin wished she could give him some time to recover, to reconcile, but they only had minutes now at best.
“I’m… so very sorry, sweetie,” she said softly, “but we need to talk before your parents get here.” Yotun swallowed hard.
“What’d y-you tell them?”
“That you’ve been hurt, and that a predator did it.” Turin sighed. “But we’re not talking about that, are we? We’re talking about Ki-yu.” Yotun looked at her like she had grown antlers, but the expression passed quickly.
“I k-kinda guessed,” he whispered. “But it didn’t make sense. You’ve been keeping her here? This whole time?”
“Yes,” she said. “I wish you could get the chance to know her properly.”
“She… left me…” he mumbled. “Alone… in the dark…”
“Yes. And afterward she turned up here in the middle of the night, a shivering, broken wreck. I’ve never seen her cry so much.” The boy looked up at her mistily.
“She… cried?” He shook his head morosely. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all over now…”
“Is it?” Turin asked, willing fire into her voice. “She certainly doesn’t seem to think so. ‘Burn the forest?’” He flinched. “She knows the risks of her discovery, far better than anyone. She knows that if it comes to it…” Turin stopped before she broke down. “And yet, she risked it all for you. In a heartbeat. She put her trust in you, Yotun.”
“Sh-she sh-shouldn’t have… I-I’m just a st-stupid kid!”
“I-” The alarm wailed for a split-second before Turin turned reached over and turned it all off, hiding their security system.
“Wh-what was that?”
“Proximity alert. Someone’s coming.”
“My parents?”
“Most likely.” Yotun drew himself down. This isn’t working…
Braq came limping up the hall.
“She’s still asleep, secure,” he said.
“Okay,” Turin breathed. “Then sit down, for Kay-ut’s sake, before you make that worse.” He settled into the windowsill seat. Turin placed a paw on Yotun’s uninjured arm.
“They’ll kill her,” she said firmly. “If you mention her at all, to anyone, they’ll kill her.”
“M-my p-parents wouldn’t-”
“Yes,” Turin said with a sad smile, knowing as all parents do. “They absolutely would.”
”They’d tell someone else at the very least,” Braq sighed. “And then they’d come for us all.”
“A-and they’d burn it all down to find her,” the boy shuddered.
The hovercar’s thwopping was now audible.
“We shouldn’t have to ask this of you, lad.” Braq said. “You’ve suffered too much already. But I think you know we’d both be dead right now without her.” Turin’s stomach rolled. Yotun looked fearfully between the two of them.
“Y-you’re asking me to lie?!”
“From what she’s told us, you’re the closest thing Ki-yu’s ever had to a real friend.” Turin implored him. “We’re asking you to save her.” Braq looked out of the window as she said it.
“They’re here.”
A door slammed outside. If I stop now I’ll drown. Turin gave his arm one last squeeze.
“Our lives are in your paws, Yotun.”
Please, please, please save her…
“Yotun!” Laenar cried out desperately, the front door thrown open as they charged in. Turin backed off as quickly as she could, knowing better than to come between them now.
“Oh, my boy!” The mother fell to her knees beside him. “Thank The Protector! Oh, your arm! Gods!” Stopping in the middle of the room, Arrut drew a quick sharp breath, his eyes on the table.
“Mercy…” he said simply, the light from the fireplace casting long shadows across the room. Laenar made a muted gasp, pulling Yotun tight against her. “The girl…?”
“Callio.” Braq said quietly. It was almost a whimper. There was a long silence, the only sound Laenar’s muted breathing.
“Wh-where’s the ambulance?” Arrut asked weakly. “Why didn’t you call an ambulance?”
“Too late,” Braq murmured mournfully. “It… it all happened too fast.”
“There’s one coming now,” Turin said, rubbing her forehead. “To… collect the body.”
“That’s not an ambulance,” Laenar said weakly. Arrut pulled his eyes away from the table, falling heavily into the chair beside Braq.
“My… stars man,” he murmured. “The state of your back…”
“Think of your son, you idiot!” Laenar gasped. Arrut shot her an incredulous look back.
“The wounds clean. H-he should be alright physically-” Turin started.
“Alright?! He’s been mauled!” She pulled her son’s face up to her. “What h-happened? Why were you out there?” His expression crumpled.
“We wanted to see the woods,” he said quietly.
“Wha- Why…?” The pudgy woman suddenly glared at Turin. “You did this! You perverted pair of-!”
“Laenar!” Arrut yelled. “That’s enough!”
“No, I’m sick of these people! Sick of this place! Why don’t you just-!”
“Shut up, Mother, shut up!” Yotun started yelling. “I did this, this’s my fault!” He winced as he jerked his slashed arm at them. “Braq saved me!”
”You’ve been through a lot, you don’t-!”
“M-my fau-lt! My-!” His words became incoherent, a violent sorrowful wailing. Laenar relented, looking as broken as her son. The boy was inconsolable, unable to speak, so Braq recounted what had happened. The parents listened intently, not saying a word. He told them how they had suspected something was not right in the Brackwood, carefully leaving out the signs of roht they had kept to themselves. He told them that he had found a dead vyrryn and tracks in the snow and had been watching the cameras when he had spotted the children. Braq’s voice broke when he explained how he had not got there in time. As his voice trailed off Turin knew that he was replaying those dreadful moments over and over again in his head.
Arrut stood, rubbing his mouth.
“Why didn’t you call the authorities?” he asked. “If you suspected there was this roht creature about, why didn’t you call for help?” Turin and Braq shared a glance.
“Because it doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Roht were never found here. They’re practically extinct.”
“So, what?” Laenar grunted. “You based your safety, all our safety, on your intuition?”
“No,” Braq said. “We’ve found… plasma wounds on animals, many fatal. Someone else has been in our woods.” He rubbed his face with both paws. “We don’t know who to trust.”
“And you think, what they’re trying to scare you off?” She scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe what you want,” Turin snapped. “We’ve got the photos to prove that someone’s been shooting our animals.”
“But… who would go wandering out here?” Arrut asked. “Most people are terrified of this place.”
Before anyone could answer, the sound of another arriving vehicle drew their attention, Braq glancing out the window. He leaned forward.
“Well… you were right,” he said. “It’s not an ambulance.” A quiet stillness came over them as the engine died; the gravel outside crunched beneath approaching steps. Moonlight filtered through the front window; the shadow of an impossibly tall man descended across their home. The phantom coalesced by the threshold, the figure looming for a moment. Then he straightened and knocked. Nobody moved. He knocked again, the noise rattling about Turin’s skull. She looked over at Braq and saw ire and worry warring in his eyes. A third knock, more insistent. Fuck…
Turin walked over and opened the door.
“Good evening Turin,” Juran said, giving her the slightest bow. His pale eyes hovered like pinpricks in the night.
“Juran. What’re you… doing… here…” Her voice left her as she saw who stood behind him. Juran strode past her as she struggled to form a thought.
“We were forwarded a rather desperate-sounding emergency call. Needless to say, we came as soon as we could.” There was a crashing, thundering sound in Turin’s ears. The other just stood there, looking at her expectantly. “Oh dear, nasty business this,” Juran was saying, stepping closer to the body. He clicked his tongue, as though examining shoddy craftmanship. “Very nasty business.” Juran looked quickly around the room, his eyes devouring all they saw. “And two survivors?” He clapped his paws together. “We were worried.”
“We?” Braq asked hoarsely.
“Oh, yes, I was meeting with an old friend.”
He strode in with the same confidence as the extermination officer.
“Teraka…” Arrut gasped. Juran stopped. Everyone stopped. They all just looked at him. Teraka looked nonplussed for a moment, but then he noticed the other parents’ gaze. His eyes passed over them questioningly.
“T-Teraka,” Turin gulped. “I couldn’t reach you… you didn’t…” The man looked at the body, then at Yotun. The lad was shaking, sobbing again in his mother’s arms.
“What is this?” Teraka hissed, his suave exterior melting away. Juran’s pale eyes narrowed, his head moving in a steady glacial turn to Turin. For the first time, she felt like she was actually looking at him. A long time ago, she would have called his expression predatory; now she would simply call it cruel.
“No…” Teraka gasped, pushing Juran aside as he staggered forward. He moved around the table like he feared it would cut him. Tenderly, he pulled back the sheets. It was… disturbing, how little the man reacted. He stilled, all that constant movement, those ceaseless platitudes quieted. He just stood there and looked.
“I suppose we’ve found what killed that brynn foal,” Juran said thinly. The chair squealed as Braq stood, her husband’s face contorting from the pain in his leg. Juran might have been taller, but Braq was undoubtedly the bigger man.
“Really?” he said, looking up at him. “’Cause I’d say that roht was only two or three years old. It would have been an infant when that brynn was killed.”
“Ah, quite right you are,” Juran said with a flash of teeth. “There must have been others.” Her beloved’s fists were held so tight the claws bit into his palms. “Well, regardless this will have to be thoroughly investigated. And of-” Juran was interrupted as Teraka strode over and struck him across the face. The tall man toppled into the bookshelf, clutching at his snout as their small library came tumbling down around him.
“Bastard!” Teraka snarled, his claws digging into Juran’s throat. A shout went out, Turin knew not from who, as the two men struggled. Laenar was gasping noisily trying to shield her son; Arrut and Braq trying to pull the raging father back but finding Teraka’s quills before them. Juran’s paws sinched tight around the smaller man’s wrists, and with a ferocious roar, he stood as quickly as he could, headbutting Teraka under the chin. Teraka staggered backward into the table, the legs screaming murder against the woodwork, Turin only barely stopping Callio’s body from sliding from it. The others were yelling at them, but the two men did not care as they traded blows like trained fighters. They fought viciously, reminding Turin of how Ki-yu hunted; no movement was wasted, no moment savoured. Teraka ducked under a wide backhand, jabbing with his claws for Juran’s chest. Juran blocked with his offhand, using his greater reach to keep Teraka at bay. He threw a brutal left hook that Teraka countered, then trapped. Growling in pain, Juran blocked Teraka’s follow-up, snatching a firm grip on the smaller man’s throat. His grip was so tight Turin saw his claws draw blood. Choking, Teraka kneed him in the groin, then palm struck him in the gullet. The two fell back wheezing, circling one another with quills out and eyes wide with rage.
“You’ve taken everything from me!” Teraka howled. Juran glared at him with his pale eyes, blood flowing down from his snout. “My job! My decency! My daughter!”
“You knew the cost!” he spat back. “It’s you who’ve betrayed my trust. I thought better of you…”
Surging in, Braq gripped Teraka’s left arm, trying to twist it around his back before the fight could resume. But the enraged father kicked the other man’s weakened leg out from under him, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. With a bellowing cry, Arrut tackled Juran around the middle, the two crashing into the kitchen tiles. Teraka moved to make after them, but Braq took the opportunity to swipe out Teraka’s legs from the floor, evening the score. Growling like an animal, Braq pinned him on his back. Wrestling free of Arrut, Juran rose forward with murderous intent in his pale eyes. Fuck this! Turin snatched up the rifle where it still lay on the counter.
“Hey!” she snarled, the sound of her ratcheting the lever stalling the melee. The weapon had been damaged by the roht; Turin doubted it would fire at all, but the threat was sufficient. “I will not have any more blood spilled in my house!” Teraka struggled in Braq’s grapple.
“There is more at stake than this little shack!” the man hissed.
“Mind your words, Teraka,” Juran’s voice was as thin and sharp as a needle. “Or the cost will be far greater than one little girl.”
“Enough!” Turin roared. “Juran, we’ll cooperate with whatever investigation you deem necessary,” she barked, hiding the fearful lie behind the fire in her voice. “But for now, you’re leaving. I suggest you get that nose looked at.” There was a long and painful silence. The tall man regained his posture, wiping his nose.
“Thank you,” he said with a sickly-sweet smile. There was blood in his teeth. “My apologies for the disturbance, that was most unprofessional. I’ll be in touch.” With one last icy look at them all, he strode out into the night. Teraka struggled beneath Braq as his car shot up into the sky.
“Why’d you do that?!” he spat when he finally released him. “Why’d you do that, wh-why?!” And then he was crying, a pitiful, ruined wailing as he almost fell over the body of his little girl. They could not pull him away; he just kept crying. He was crying when Yotun left with his parents, and he was still crying when the ambulance finally arrived to take her away.
~*~
Ki-yu’s breathing had steadied, ice and a pillow across her chest seeming to help her sleep. Arxur were strong, and the bone had not shifted. The tail required more work —a splint and sutures— but the girl had slept through their treatment. With enough time, they were confident she would suffer no more than a new scar.
Turin's paw brushed across Ki-yu’s sheets, bloodied a fiery crimson. The mother swallowed a sob as she thought of Callio again. Ki-yu made a groaning sound, shifting slightly as her dark eyes flickered open. She peered up at Turin curiously, and for a second she almost seemed bemused. But then she felt her ribs, the ache making her whine.
“Hey,” Turin cooed, feeling the warmth of her scalp. “How do you feel?”
“Thirsty,” she rasped. Turin reached back for the cup of water she had brought.
“Here,” she whispered, bringing it to her scaly lips. “We’ll get you something to eat tomorrow.” Ki-yu gulped it down, then coughed slightly.
“I’ll be okay-”
“No, you’ll eat tomorrow,” Turin said, looking at her sharply. Ki-yu rattled a small huff but nodded.
“Wh-what happened?” she asked. “I thought I heard shouting…” Turin rubbed her paws on her knees.
“Teraka… I don’t think anyone would ever take that well…” Ki-yu scrunched up her face. A moment later recollection returned.
“Oh… I-” She started panting quickly, snorting out wet sobs. The girl dropped her head heavily onto her pillow, wet tears welling in her eyes. Snuffling, she started beating her snout against her bedding.
“Hey… sweetheart…” Turin purred, rubbing her shoulder. “Talk to me…” Ki-yu swallowed, a sound that was almost an Umph!
“I-I w-wasn’t f-fast enough, wa-sn’t good enough-!” The mother pushed her way onto the bed, laying her head on the damp pillow as she pulled her as tightly against her as she could.
“Shhh… You were superb.”
“B-but she-!” Ki-yu sniffled against her.
“You gave her a fighting chance, sweetie. You couldn’t have done any more.” Ki-yu was silent for a short moment, snuggling against her fuzzy chest. Turin hoped it gave the girl the same comfort as her.
“Yotun?”
“He’s gone home with his parents. So far, he hasn’t told them about you at all.”
“Wh-what happens now?” she asked weakly.
“We’ll sort that out,” Turin sighed. “Don’t you worry.” Turin sat up as a tiny figure draped in a long blanket waddled through the doorframe.
“Hey Ku,” Imdi squeaked.
“Hey dingus,” Ki-yu sniffled, making the little boy smile meekly.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” she said, stretching out as she kept her eyes on the little gojid. “How about you?”
“Okay,” he mumbled, looking at her abashedly. “I, uh, just wanted to say i-it’s okay if you feel scared. I f-feel scared too, but…” He fidgeted with his claws. My brave little man. Ki-yu made a tired keen.
“Wanna stay here tonight?” she asked. He nodded fervently. Ki-yu smiled, spreading out the bedsheets. Imdi wriggled in beside her, the girl wrapping her long arms around him as she brushed down his spines.
“How about a song?” Ki-yu said with a wry smile. Turin sighed out a tired laugh.
“What do you think, Imdi?” she asked.
“All-mother’s prayer?” he replied. Turin always liked that one. It made her smile.
“Okay,” she said. “Just the one. Close your eyes.” The children settled in snugly, Turin singing as sweetly as she could.
“Kay-ut, All-mother, hear my prayer.
Hush, keep it quiet, simple, and fair.
Ki-ra hold your notes, Ki-yu stop your games.
And listen to children in their bedding frames.
A prayer for mummy, I know that’s right.
We played in the tunnels by candlelight.
The soft was clay, and the hard was rock.
Oh, All-mother save daddy, I almost forgot!
A wish for my sister whom I know the best.
I tell her I love her, and she gets the rest.
One more for brother, he lay next to me.
I’ve never adored another like he.
Oh, thank you Kay-ut for a lovely day.
For lighting your pyre to show me the way.
I’m forgetting someone, now who could that be?
Oh, of course! How silly! All-mother bless me.”
Her children were fast asleep as she finished the melody. Their peaceful stillness caused an ache in her heart.
“Goodnight sweethearts,” she whispered as she kissed their foreheads. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She rose and shut the door as quietly as she could.
Her beloved was sitting in bed with a wan expression. The paramedics had given both Braq and Yotun a once over and thoroughly chastised the man for staying on his feet. Her husband had denied being taken to hospital immediately, so had been ordered to remain bedridden until he would be collected in the morning.
“Can’t you sleep?” Turin said softly, Braq shaking his head stiffly. “No,” she said breathily. “I don’t think I can either. Th-the kids seem a little better. They help each other, I guess.”
“It’s Yotun I’d worry about,” Braq said numbly. “The lad… he’s been through a lot.” He drew in a deep breath. “And Teraka, thinking about it. No telling what he’ll do now. Goddess… that poor girl…” Turin scrubbed her paws in the basin, then threw some water on her face.
“What do you suppose he meant? ‘There’s more at stake than this little shack?’” Braq just shrugged absently. “I’ve been thinking, mutilating the roht was the right decision, but we also need to go over the house again.” She started pacing. “We should be as truthful as we can, go public with everything except Ki-yu. We knew there was something in the woods but couldn’t be sure. We also knew that Juran and Teraka had been killing our animals, we got some photos of their kills. We can use all that to make a case, bring it to the inquest.”
“Turin.” Braq mumbled.
“We’ll have to hide her as soon as possible, somewhere more remote,” she continued. “Deeper into the woods perhaps? Or find a den far across the valleys. But she can’t be too far removed so that we can keep an eye on her. She needs to be fed, so we’ll have to go stash her something…”
“Turin.”
“I think we should assume from now on that all our actions are being monitored, so that way-”
“Beloved…” Braq’s rough paw caught her wrist. He looked up at her earnestly. “It’s okay… you can stop now.”
“I…” The water flows in around her. “Every moment counts, we’ve got-“
“Tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll start early. But… please… you need to stop.” Turin shook her head.
“N-no, I- if I stop-!” Braq’s eyes grew teary, and she felt her fear ball in her chest. She hugged his head close where she stood, her lover's tears wetting her navel. “I-I-” Braq lovingly pulled her down into a tight hug. She felt castaway; her boat beached on some forgotten shore.
“Oh stars, Braq…” she whispered, exhausted as the surf crashed about her mind. “I’m s-so scared…”
“It’ll be okay,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”
Together, on that little island, they sobbed themselves to sleep.
---
“Men at some times are makers of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
– Cassius, in Julius Caesar, Act I Scene 2. Written by W. Shakespeare, 1599.
[Cover] - René Magritte
Links in comment.

Hi everyone,
​
I am trying to build a chicken feeder that opens twice a day for 1 hour (can't leave it open anymore due to rats).
I've done a bit of research and there are quite a few builds of automatic chicken door, which seems to be doing basically what I need. They all seem to revolve around a CN101a timer, a DPDT relay and a linear actuator.
I've tried by to understand the set-up but I don't really understand the point of the DPDT relay.
I drew a very crude schematic of a set-up with 2 CN101a timer. Basically, one send current to the actuator to expand and the other one sends current the other way to retract.
​
https://preview.redd.it/ydezg6rpngra1.png?width=1970&format=png&auto=webp&s=57ca68a69456f53231da63bdedbcec05058ca7bc
This seems super simple and pretty cheap.
Can you guys confirm that this is indeed how it could work?
​
Thanks!!

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Coming up on a month til the sequel, and it's gotten me in the mood to play through BotW again just to sate my excitement for the new game. I'm excited for the sequel because so much of what made BotW fun to me is carrying over and is being combined with a ton of new stuff to do and other new gameplay. So far, its looking not to different and not too similar to BotW. But similar to BotW at all is a good thing imo. Because of all of the things the game does right. So, I personally am happy to see so many features return. While playing it recently, I've been kind of reflecting in the back of my mind all the things that make BotW so much fun for me.
​
Exploration and sidequesting are rewarded
This is probably my favourite thing about the game. Thinking back to my first Zelda game - Zelda II - I grew up on the NES & SNES titles. LA was there, too lol - My favourite part of those as a kid was finding secrets because I wandered off and stumbled on it. My curiosity was rewarded, and I think that's what made it so much fun. I'll never forget wandering off to Lake Hylia in ALttP and - after getting my ass handed to me several times - stumbling on the ice rod. It was pretty much the one thing that kept me coming back because the main quest didn't really keep my interest for long. The thing about sidequesting in BotW is that they expanded it far beyond what I ever thought was possible. And it's made for one of the most memorable Zelda experiences in my life.
I struggled early on with weapons. I fought a lot so I broke my swords and bows quite a bit. This is actually usually my playstyle in any Zelda game. I like to fight enemies and get better at it. In Zelda II, I leveled up so high before visiting the temples that it made them easier than I thought they'd be - because I did nothing but explore around. In BotW, I never actually ran out of any weapons because every time I ventured off somewhere off the beaten path, I'd either find a weapon, a shrine with a weapon, or more enemies with good weapons. The world never felt empty, there was always something to do or something to find. Its been a while since I've been in an overworld that had so much to do and pretty much the first time there's been one that has THIS much to do. It actually made it hard to find a stopping point. Because I'd see something I wanted to check out, and either my way there would be so busy or once I got there I'd see something else that piqued my interest.
I went into the Korok Forest not knowing there would be a requirement to pull the Master Sword. But because I wandered around so much and stumbled on so many shrines, I actually got it on my first try. Found out a couple wks later on miiverse from somebody that I had the bare minimum of what was required to get it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the game rewards people who venture out and do things off the beaten path. I got the sword after only one divine beast (I was on my way to my 2nd). And I could've gotten it without having visited any of the four "main" areas. But its just the fact that this is possible, you know?
Puts the "legend" in "legend of zelda"
The stories in the games I grew up in were mainly in the manual, and they made it seem like such epics that endured the ages. I think I've missed that angle from Zelda games. I think a lot of the later games tried too hard to have a plot tied to the player's actions rather than one tied to epic legends of the struggle of good vs evil. But that's what I like so much about BotW. They brought it back and make it a part of the world you play in. And they kind of play on two different ones, 100yrs ago and 10,000yrs ago. Even little things like the guy in the jungle stable talking about why the dual peaks are the way they are or the description mentioning the "warlike tribe from Faron" and the associated ruins.
I still remember when I first went to a stable in the northwest and talked with a woman who told me about ruins that were covered in darkness. And after a couple more days, I found it. But I had more fun with the legend than I did the ruins themselves for this very reason.
One of my favourites is the legend of the lord of the mountain. It starts with a description in the compendium. Then you can see a collection of plants from different regions all growing in one area and an apple orchard with farming tools, and a campsite nearby. And at the foot of the mountain is the ruins of a sage's temple. It's so subtle, yet so mind blowing.
There are even things that aren't really canon that I can play around with in my head. They give me a lot to work with. Like how in TWW the rito came from Zora. So, I like to think they came from them here too. I like to think that the time when they first founded their society on the reservoir, they were coming from Labrynna and achieved their goal of finding a new place to live as they said in OoA; but they didn't all travel together. Another group of the same Zora ventured out before they knew the reservoir was discovered and found themselves in an arid place, and tried their best to stay near water - more particularly lake totori; but they struggled in the arid environment and, over time, evolved into the rito. Again, not canon, but it's fun to think about.
Not centered around the main quest
Okay, it is technically centered around the main quest because it tells us to beat Ganon. But what I mean is that there is a ton in the game that isn't required and is either just as fun or more fun than what you do on the beaten path. It's such a beloved feature to me because it reminds me of the Zelda games I grew up with. Yeah, the only way to progress in Zelda II is complete temples, but you can improve Link's abilities simply by wandering around and fighting enemies or finding secret point bags. In Zelda I, you can get a lot of items just by fighting enemies, getting rich, and buying them. Sure, you can't get what you could call the "main" items of the game, but there's still a lot you can do without entering dungeons.
When I left the plateau, I went straight south first from Oman Au. I wanted to see the ocean. But then, I ended up in the jungle. Being in the jungle so early in the game was how I learnt to get good with the controls, I needed to in order to survive lol - it was one of the most interesting areas in the whole game to me. And the beautiful part of that is that the area isn't necessary at all to any part of the story or main objective. It's just there to be interesting. And for me personally, it was there as an extra challenge.
The same goes for Hebra. Not even necessary to go there. But I went through the region to get to the rito divine beast. And I hadn't been to the desert. So, not only did I not have the rito set yet to bear the cold, but I also didn't even know the snowboots existed. And by this point in the game for me, the enemies had upgraded to black. I was short on resources too so making elixirs/meals was still very limited for me. I had to completely change my combat strategy because of how much slower I was, and so I could avoid getting frozen. Needless to say, I got beat up a lot lol - but it made for a memorable experience.
Which is funny, the two least relevant regions in the game ended up becoming among the most memorable for me. In many other later Zelda games, areas like that don't even have anything to entertain yourself with so you kind of have to move on to a relevant place. In the earliest games, every area has something - an enemy to fight or a secret to find; so it wasn't much of a problem there. It seems like the BotW team got into Miyamoto's 1980s mindset and made the world as full of stuff as they possibly could with just stuff to stumble on.
Interacting with the world
I know it's kind of a cliche to praise BotW's physics and stuff but I can't just not mention it. Maybe I'm just easily entertained but all of the little details with interacting with the game world occupied a lot of my attention in my first 200hrs or so, though I still bask in a lot of them to this day. Even little things like being able to punt the stal skulls or having metal weapons gets you struck by lightning.
Slipping while climbing in the rain was shown off on the E3 treehouse thing, and I was so excited for it. It really did feel like they put a ton of care and detail into how the world works. Throughout my first playthough, I spent a lot of time figuring out ways to climb in the rain. Since I spent a lot of time in the jungle early on, I quickly found out that if you climb those tall trees with the huge leaves over them, it's still dry; and that you can use them to get high up and jump over to the cliff walls and climb the rest of the way. It was little things like this that made a big impact on me playing BotW.
The option to turn off help and other functions
One thing that really put me off was my first time playing OoT. My biggest gripe was navi, and it remains my biggest problem with the game to this day. It was so offputting to me because it wasn't like that in the Zelda series until that point. Tips in Zelda I or II were pretty much in the manual, and I never read those. In ALttP, once you get past tutorial castle the tips are optional via those squares on the walls that I ignored entirely during my time with the game. But ignoring navi wasn't a possibility. Being forced to have the game hold my hand throughout was frustrating and to this day makes me hesitant to replay OoT. It's one of many reasons I prefer 2D Zelda to 3D, although TMC has some of that too. TP & SS are two games I have yet to replay for similar reasons. Way too much handholding, but also too linear.
That's why when I found out you can turn off the waypoints and other stuff, I was relieved beyond ALL comprehension. No more being stopped to be told how to open a door, no more having to listen to a monologue about my next objective after finishing a main quest, no more being stopped to be asked if I'm sure I want to fight a boss or something. Nope. I can freely do what I want, when I want. The devs assume I know how to press A and how to read. And that feels good. Not only that, I'm not held back from exploring or getting myself into trouble at any point. I can just... play the game. That was something I sorely missed from games past.
I honestly didn't quite like using the champions' powers, they feel too cheat-y for my taste. I actually went into the start menu after I first obtained Mipha's Prayer and I was actually surprised I could turn it "off" so that I didn't get revived automatically if I happened to get myself killed (which I did, a lot - especially after I went to Hebra for the first time) and I couldn't help but feel super grateful for that option if I didn't wanna play that way. And that's the neat thing about freedom in BotW, it goes beyond the gameworld and lets the player have freedom in general. I will never be not-happy about the option to change the language. The engrish dub nearly ruined the cutscenes. I think they updated for the option somewhere halfway through my adventure. And I am forever grateful for that addition.
Honestly can't wait to see what else is in store for this new game. Even from what little they've shown us, I've been able to tell 2 things: That there are so many new things that I'll never get bored through completing the game and that the game did not deviate so far from BotW that it will lack what made the open air concept so fun in the first place. I can't wait!

The Woodroof Protocol
A method of reducing withdrawal,
support tapering and prevent relapse
I dedicate this work to everyone struggling with addiction as well as those, helping the
increasing number of people, out there suffering. From the parent worried sick about their
child, to the healthworkers and professionals each Day fighting to save the lives of those, still
stuck in addiction.
My dear American friend whom I had the pleasure of getting to know and helping to taper
from a severe opiod-addiction, inspired me to write this to share with you.
This information will be of great value, if you’re trying to recover, or currently helping
someone, recover from addiction to: stimulants, opioids and GABAergics.
Here below is a short guide, that summarizes the findings made from Years of experience
working within this field making personalized regimens of supplements with very promising
results.
The individual regimens are all legal, non-toxic, non-addictive, natural and most importantly
based on evidence. They can all be bought or ordered online, at a reasonable cost and self
administered or used alongside other treatments etc.
Introduction:
I wanted to show my appreciation for Woodroofs work and courage making treatments
available back then, fighting for the rights of people, who weren’t offered the best
treatment they knew at the time.
Woodroof is a referal to Ronald Dickson Woodroof (1992) who founded the famous Dallas
Buyers Club which later was made into the movie by the same name. R.D.Woodroof through
the buyers club, distributed medicine to treat Aids during the hardship in the 80’s. Today we
see addiction is killing more people each Year than Aids did when it was most rampant in the
US. Not only OD’s but addiction-related suicide as well as alcoholism is widely spreading,
creating torn apart families and isolated individuals, all who are in dire need of our help.
This story ressonated with me, as I started a non-profit myself about 3 Years ago, where we
collectively bought large amounts of supplements to save money and to get around the
legislation in my country. I would then make personalized blends of these for a lot of cases,
but especially for people struggling with addiction and cases where our psychiatry had failed.
I quickly started getting people referred to me struggling with stimulants, opioids and
GABAergics but were also able to help in a lot cases with somatic diseases and I had to keep
learning and read up on the studies as well as scout the internet for knowledgeable sources.
I was educated as an intercultural and international socialworker, later having studied
anthropology and globalization, although I have no background in medicine, this must be
mentioned.
I suffered a minor TBI (traumatic brain injury) 10 Years ago, and I had to learn, how to
recover from the cognitive issues and did a lot of experimentation and researched neuro
regeneration and supplements for Years which meant I was familiar scouting for resources, reading studies as well as looking for interactions.
I needed to dive deep into the individual effects of minerals, vitamins, amino acids,
adaptogens and nootropics and the different synergies, and found some very interesting
finds regarding possible addiction treatments and support, and I have witnessed some very
promising results.
These following regimens and advice is what I’ve seen having the highest rate of recovery as
well as the lowest rapported issues with relapse, accute withdrawal as well as PAWS (post
accute-withdrawal-symptoms) while and after tapering. Studies are linked beneath each, for
further reading.
If you’re on any other medication or supplements, then either get a medical professional
to look into interactions before trying any of these or if you proceed on your own hand,
make sure either ask on i.e. Reddit / FB groups, or Google substance-x + substance-y +
interactions and do a bit of reading.
I. Opiods
Warning, this blend of supplements potentiates opiates to a high degree, meaning if you’re
on an active taper, then dose lower than you’re used to before trying these, approximately
half your usual dose. It also means you can do a far more rapid taper and use these before,
as well as after, your last dose during the taper, to reduce RLS and PAWS here. When you
hit a wall and your body starts reacting with WD’s, then hover at that dose for a few Days
and then continue cutting down a little less aggressive from there on.

1. Bacopa Monnieri Extract_______________________300mg-3000mg pr. Day in 1-4 doses
   
2. Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa) ___________________1 tbsp.-3 tbsp. pr. Day in 1-4 doses
   
3. Agmatine ___________________________________500mg-1500mg pr. Day in 1-4 doses
   
4. Vitamin C (Sodium Ascorbate)_____________50mg-100mg pr.kg divided in several doses*
   

*Before starting the vitamin C, I recommend to read up on this link:
https://ericazelfand.com/vitamin-c-for-opioid-addiction/
If you suffer from hemochromatosis, skip the vitamin c though.
*In some cases where you’re coming off a dangerously high dose of fentanyl or methadone,
then substituting with kratom alongside this regiment can be useful in certain cases, but it
must be said kratom in of itself is an opioid with risk of addiction. It’s the lessor of two evils
though and for some can have benefits, if they can’t get suboxone etc. It will work fine,
alongside this taper as these supplements also potentiates the kratom and suboxone a lot. If
you’re trying to get off kratom the same supplements will help you too.
Bacopa (BM) can require a step by step increase to avoid stomach issues, so start with a low
dose. Some people get slight diarrhea dosing high on BM, so always dose right after a fatty
meal, or just use Psyllium husks and some butteoil before taking the BM, although a large
meal containing fats, is the most effective way mitigating this. Also certain bad extracts
tends to make the diarrhea inevitable even in low doses and with food so if you’re unlucky
to get your hands on a bad extract, try giving another a go before you give up on BM as it is
truly effective when it can get absorbed. Both the vitamin c and the BM needs to get adjusted for by slowly increasing until you reach
bowel tolerance. A meal before, with the fiber and fats seems to shorten this period.
BM in higher doses causes a slight fatigue and some prefer to take 200-500mg of rhodiola
extract early in the Day to counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder
sleep.
Bacopa has a long history of use for opium-addiction in India but have recently been studied
and hailed for it’s effect of diminishing discomfort and reducing WD’s as well as the dose
needed for painrelief etc. Agmatine and BSO also show great potential for reducing WD’s
and managing PAWS as shown in the studies.
I will refer to a few studies here but for more detailed information, I recommend reading or
skimming the PHD dissertation about the potential of bacopa in opioid dependency as well.
For further reading on each supplement Google each + opioid + studies or opiates, and read
about some of the studies or old threads about these.
 Effect of bacopa monnieri on morphine dependence and tolerance to analgesia in
animal models (PHD Thesis)
http://prr.hec.gov.pk/jspui/bitstream/123456789/2010/2/1574S.pdf
 Effect of Bacopasides on acquisition and expression of morphine tolerance
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/50289046\_Effect\_of\_Bacopasides\_on\_acqui
sition_and_expression_of_morphine_tolerance
 A new and novel treatment of opioid dependence: Nigella sativa 500 mg
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19385474/
 Thymoquinone: From Nigella sativa to a protective pharmacological compound in
managing opioid dependence and amphetamine type stimulant issues
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7395189/
 Effect of agmatine on the development of morphine dependence in rats: potential role
of cAMP system https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15541421/
 Agmatine Prevents Adaptation of the Hippocampal Glutamate System in Chronic
Morphine-Treated Rats https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5563829/
 Attenuation of heroin withdrawal syndrome by the administration of high-dose vitamin
C
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236834375\_Attenuation\_of\_heroin\_withdr
awal_syndrome_by_the_administration_of_high-dose_vitamin_C
I recommend to continue this regimen for a while after seizing the last mg’s of opiates as
this prevents relapse by a great deal as well as helps to bring the body back into homeostasis
as bacopa increases synaptogenesis as well. You can skip the high dose vitamin C when
you’re out of the woods and just get a good multivitamin and some omega 3’s to maintain
the effects. The rhodiola also acts as a powerful anti-fatigue and anti-depressant for post
addiction lethargy. Most get great relief from doing this regiment for longer periods as they
report it helps keep them clearminded and manages their cravings for opiates, is what I’ve
experienced from feedback. The doses can easily be lowered to more sustainable levels that will still offer relief from
cravings. On the last page I have some recommendations for other natural compounds with
neuro-regenerative proporties that also reduces cravings for alcohol and drugs that can be
worth looking into to add to, as well as substitute for some of these when you get clean and
free from WD’s again.
II. Stimulants
Warning, do not use mucuna alongside an active taper still using stimulants. You should be
able to stop or do a rapid taper with the others and continue with the mucuna but do so
only, when you’re off the stimulant. In most cases it is easier just to stop and substitute with
this regimen as it will reduce cravings, mental instability as well as physical WD’s very
effectively. Also be aware that polygala potentiates stimulants so dose lower than usual
around 2/3 normal dose and monitor your reactions if you are going to taper off without
mucuna. If any sign of discomfort arises, wait to use polygala also until you’ve tapered down
using the others.

1. L-tyrosine____________________________________________500mg-2500mg 1-3 doses
   
2. Bilberry/Blueberry Extract_______________________________300mg-1500mg 1-3 doses
   
3. Polygala Extract_______________________________________ 50mg-200mg 1-3- doses
   
4. Mucuna Extract________________________________________50mg-250mg 1-3 doses
   

Mucuna extract contains l-dopa which is a direct precursor to dopamine and l-tyrosine is a
precursor to l-dopa, which helps prevent neurotoxicity to some degree. Bilberry/blueberry
extract also has neuroprotective proporties on the dopaminergic system as shown from the
studies below. It’s best to get bilberry as it contains 4-10x higher the amount of
anthocyanins but a higher dose of blueberry extract will also work. It is though not
recommended to use mucuna for lengthy periods due to risk of neurotoxicity so later, you’ll
be able to, instead drop the mucuna, and add NAC + d-phenylalanine which is a precursor to
the l-tyrosine, alongside the others. This is once you’ve been clean for at least a Week and
managed the most severe craving and WD’s.
In case you’re showing troubling signs of brainaging due to stimulant-use, you can add
bacopa to this stack as well, as evidence is showing it is acting as a powerful neuroprotectant
in meth+mpp induced neurotoxicity and it’s effect of synaptogenesis will aid here, as well.
(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9414486/)
Pair it with rhodiola 200-500mg if you experience fatigue or depression from the PAWS that
won’t dissapate with the supplements.
 Antioxidant-Enriched Diet Affects Early Microglia Accumulation and Promotes
Regeneration of the Striatal Dopamine System after a 6-Hydroxidopamine-Induced
Lesion in a Rat https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.4137/JEN.S10424
 Blueberry- and spirulina-enriched diets enhance striatal dopamine recovery and induce
a rapid, transient microglia activation after injury of the rat nigrostriatal dopamine
system https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0014488605002797  Dopamine mediated antidepressant effect of Mucuna pruriens seeds in various
experimental models of depression
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4213977/
 Neuro-Cognitive Effects of Acute Tyrosine Administration on Reactive and Proactive
Response Inhibition in Healthy Older Adults
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6084775/
 Tyrosine influence on amphetamine self-administration and brain catecholamines in the
rat https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3786355/
 Effects of dietary tyrosine on L-dopa- and amphetamine-induced changes in locomotor
activity and neurochemistry in mice https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2080188/
 Polygalasaponins effective against antipsychotic treatment
https://patents.google.com/patent/KR100378323B1/en
 Antidepressant Principles of the Roots of Polygala tenuifolia
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6804019\_Antidepressant\_Principles\_of\_the
_Roots_of_Polygala_tenuifolia
 Hypothesizing Balancing Endorphinergic and Glutaminergic Systems to Treat and
Prevent Relapse to Reward Deficiency Behaviors: Coupling D-Phenylalanine and N
Acetyl-L-Cysteine (NAC) as a Novel Therapeutic Modality
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4760695/
I also recommend you continue this regiment for as long as you experience cravings or fear
you might relapse. Just switch the mucuna after the critical phase and instead use NAC + d
phenylalanine and perhaps bacopa if there’s some damages from a long period of addiction.
You will easily be able to find a lower or even a higher, functioning dose of the supplements
that suits your need for repair and relief. The most important part is you move further and
further away from relapse and get the natural energy and drive to get back into a healthy
lifestyle again. In general people I learn who’ve forgotten or stopped their supplements,
after they get clean, tends to relapse, way more often, than those who keep their regimens.
So use this for as long as needed and read the part about alcohol and managing cravings
down at the bottom. If you feel some resistance to using supplements or want to learn more
about other kinds of medicine like these, I advice you to download the free guide, linked to
at the last page.
III. GABA
’ergics
Warning, don’t completely seize your use of benzodiazepines abrubtly. Plan a careful taper
as risk of seizures can be highly dangerous, especially in the higher dose-range. This regimen
will potentiate benzodiazepines also, as well so be aware to dose lower in the beginning
until you get a sense of how much potentiation, for the benzo, you’re currently on.
Approximately to 1/2 and then if WD’s kick in dose a bit higher until you feel okay and if you
get high vice versa. If you’re using a benzo that is metabolized fast like alprazolam it can be
worth to slowly adjust and start using a benzo with a longer half life like clonazapam and
diazapam to better be able to cut doses and not worry about getting into WD’s at every hour. Emoxypine________________________________________100mg-500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Agmatine_________________________________________500mg-1500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Magnolia Bark Extract_______________________________200mg-800mg 1-3 doses pr. Day
Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa)______________________1 tbsp.-3 tbsp. 1-3 doses pr. Day
*This also works for gabapentenoids like (Gabapentin, Pregabalin and Phenibut) but if
you’re tapering down from a high dose phenibut, you might also benefit by substituting 1g
of phenibut with 10mg baclofen in that ratio. This regimen will make you able to taper fast
and effective down from the baclofen too.
Glutamate surges from excitotoxicity when tapering, often creates severe adrenal fatigue,
mental instablity and wearyness, after a while and here it is also important to make sure to
get a enough vitamin b6 and you’ll also be able try kava, NAC and l-theanine, alongside this,
to prevent these symptoms. Magnolia modulates GABA-a but there’s not many studies on
emoxypine even though safety has been well-established. Regarding emoxypine, you can
find a wide arrange of user reports that backs it’s efficiency in tapering which were
confirmed from my own observations.
All of these together, can bring a bit symptoms of fatigue due to the combined effects of the
supplements. If this becomes an issue take 200-500mg of rhodiola extract early in the Day to
counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder sleep. Lemon balm and
magnesium glycinate can be a help in getting some sleep, in certain phases in the WD’s if
you taper aggressively.
Use this like the other regimens for as long as you need the support and when you’re
completely off all benzodiazepines and stabilized, then you can switch the magnolia extract
to sabroxy extract, and this will help your brain heal faster due to increased BDNF,
neurogenesis as well as synaptogenesis. Bacopa too has effects of synaptogenesis and will
help mitigating symptoms of alcohol WD and craving and can be useful to add, once you’re
off as well.
Benzo induced neurological dysfynction (BIND) can require more of the neuro-regenerative
effects in general and higher doses. I suggest you download the free guide, linked to at the
last page, and look into, sabroxy, polygala, bacopa, sulforaphane, emoxypine and the
neuropeptides as a start.
 Agmatine Inhibit The Tolerance To The Anxiolytic Effect Of Diazepam In Rats
https://www.semanticscholar.org/papeAgmatine-Inhibit-The-Tolerance-To-The
Anxiolytic-Of-Patel-Bhartiya/077ecdcea512f2298acc528f3d70944c04e8c01f
 Magnolol, a major bioactive constituent of the bark of Magnolia officinalis, induces
sleep via the benzodiazepine site of GABAA receptor in mice
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0028390812002894
 Effect of Magnolia officinalis and Phellodendron amurense (Relora (R)) on cortisol and
psychological mood state in moderately stressed subjects
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/255705487\_Effect\_of\_Magnolia\_officinalis\_
and_Phellodendron_amurense_Relora_R_on_cortisol_and_psychological_mood_state_
in_moderately_stressed_subjects  Promising effects of emoxypine and its succinate derivative in the management of
various diseases-with insights on recent patent applications
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9389226/
 [The results of the study of the efficacy and safety of mexidol in patients with chronic
cerebral ischemia] (Mexidol = Emoxypine) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26081329/
 Kava as an anticraving agent: preliminary data
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11205899\_Kava\_as\_an\_anticraving\_agent\_
preliminary_data
 Bacopa monnieri abrogates alcohol abstinence-induced anxiety-like behavior by
regulating biochemical and Gabra1, Gabra4, Gabra5 gene expression of GABAA receptor
signaling pathway in rats
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0753332218383914
III. I.Alcohol
Dealing with alcoholism often get’s tricky as this is tied deeply into culture as well as
patterns of engaging in much needed socializing.
This regimen of supplements might be able to reduce most of the cravings and help with
many of the issues from a physiological point of view. While on the other hand, the isolation
and mental toll it takes to step outside of the festivities, often tend to push people back into
drinking or worse even, into drugs.
Kava shows some very promising results being a positive allosteric modulator of the GABA-a
receptor which means it doesn’t have much addiction potential at all, yet mimicks a lot of
the effects from alcohol. In a lot places now, people are beginning to bring kava for
themselves for going to parties, to manage social anxiety and peer-preassure as well as
experiencing the enjoyment of being a part of the letting loose.
Kava has shown to act as a powerful anti-cravings agent as shown in the study below, not
only for alcohol but most drug of choices tested on the group.
My anecdotal observations:
Most people who’ve gotten clean, functional and even stopped drinking due to it leading
them to do drugs, often told me about them getting a nagging evening restlessness. In
general how it would get their head spinning about relapsing just once etc.
Those who tried kava all reported that it took away that sense of craving and it helped them
relax and unwind when they got stressed enough to begin fantasizing about drugs and
alcohol. Some of those who didn’t want the kava, managed to stay clean, while others
unfortunately found themselves, slip a few times.
But they often reported, that having the supplements and knowing the way back, kept them
getting back to living clean very quickly after.
A theory of this is, could be due to the role alcohol and cannabis has played for thousands of
Years perhaps, being incoded in our biology, to come to a point where the need, for just
some kind of recreational effects for some, becomes highly unbearable to cope with.
This is why I often advice people in risk, to get to learn about kava and have at least a little
bag of instant/micronized kava lying around, so they know they’ll be able to push the panic
button on the accute cravings.
The point of kava being highly adviced as the lessor of two evils is displayed in these
infographics here: (https://sci-hub.st/10.1177/0269881119841569) Kava and safety:
Kava got a bad stain from back in the 90’s when some medicinal companies bought up a
kava-company and shortly after started making acetone extracts of leaves and stems which
wasn’t allowed. A few cases with people with pre-existing liver issues and even alcoholism
and medication on the side, in a rare instants experienced hepatoxicity and the pharmaceutical industry, in a collective effort, blew it out proportions. The most likely cause
of this, is hypothesized to be, the rapid increase, in loss of sales of benzodiazepines and
addictive sleeping medication, which they began seeing as kava increased in popularity back
in the late 90’s. Multiple peer-reviewed studies have since put these claims to rest, and
these are linked to beneath. As a comparison acetylsalicylic acid, also known as aspirin, was
actually found, to be more dangerous than kava.
 “Kava Lebertoxisch?” DAZ.online. https://www.deutsche-apotheker-zeitung.de/.../uid-

 “Kava Toxicity.” https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1442-2026.2000.00107.x.
 “A Plant Kavalactone Desmethoxyyangonin Prevents Inflammation and Fulminant
Hepatitis in Mice.” https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0077626.
 “Kava Feeding in Rats Does Not Cause Liver Injury nor Enhance Galactosamine-Induced
Hepatitis.” . https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fct.2007.01.015.
 “Lack of Evidence of Kava-Related Hepatotoxicity in Native Populations in Savaii,
Samoa.” https://www.herbalgram.org/media/12000/issue59.pdf.
 “Yangonin Protects against Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease through Farnesoid X
Receptor.” Phytomedicine: International Journal of Phytotherapy and
Phytopharmacology https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2018.09.006.
 “Effects of Kava Root Extract on the Liver Morphology of c57bl-6 Mus Musculus Mice.”

1. http://www.amgs.or.kNew/common/journal/vol4\_no.13.PDF.

 “Anxiolytic Action and Safety of Kava: Effect on Rat Brain Acetylcholinesterase Activity
and Some Serum Biochemical Parameters. http://dx.doi.org/.
 “Chemical and in Vitro Toxicity Analysis of a Supercritical Fluid Extract of Kava Kava
(Piper Methysticum).” https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jep.2019.01.032.
 “Flavokawains A and B from Kava (Piper Methysticum) Activate Heat Shock and
Antioxidant Responses and Protect against Hydrogen Peroxide-Induced Cell Death in
HepG2 Hepatocytes.” https://doi.org/10.3109/13880209.2015.1107104.
 “Aqueous Kava Extracts Do Not Affect Liver Function Tests in
Rats.” https://doi.org/10.1055/s-2003-40658.
 “Safety of Ethanolic Kava Extract: Results of a Study of Chronic Toxicity in Rats.”
Phytomedicine: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2006.01.006.
 “Kava Hepatotoxicity: Comparative Study of Two Structured Quantitative Methods for
Causality Assessment.” . https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2710.2009.01131.x.
Finishing words:
Reintegrating your lifepath back into your original flowstate again, can be difficult, as all
addiction tends to originate from trauma of some sort, but also create a lot of trauma in of
itself. Most of us, are also carriers of multiple generations of traumatic experiences and all of this, if not treated, will hinder our journey into the higher levels of emotional and spiritual
growth. These regimens can provide us with a long window of opportunity to begin to find
your way back into progressing with a healthy lifestyle. But if the addiction-issue, is taken
lightly, and given enough time, the signs of trauma’s will come clawing their way back and
have you risk relapse.
I see a lot, find great comfort in religious community with a strong faith as well as evolving
values of reciprocity to newcomers. Some start to exercise a lot and eat healthy again, as
well as reach out to new friendgroups. Some show great benefits from getting therapy or
counseling for that extra assistance in unraveling, certain kinds of severe trauma. Others go
into Eastern and spiritual practices like Qigong and Yoga and start to meditate. A
combination of all of these would be ideal, but focus on one step at a time. There are many
paths back to healing and a good marker for progression here, is if your eyes are getting
kinder, your voice is becoming softer and you begin to feel and see the traumas, of others,
and wants to be in service of some sort.
A short story we can use to remind ourselves.
A long time ago, a therapist explained to me.
"Once a woman told me that she would always love being intimate with her husband
because then after that his eyes would be mild and kind.
A man then told me how he loved making his wife laugh, because after that, her voice
would become soft and playful.
Lastly a young child told me, how the child loved being around and being in service to the
parents, because after that, they would listen and stay present, just as ready to cry with
them as to laugh with the them.
Counter-intuitive strategies
For those who at some point will seek out, some kind of therapy this here beneath, might be
worth knowing.
PTSD therapy offers relief for around 20% of people with PTSD, while MDMA-facilitated
therapy shows results of around 80% instead. If you suffer from PTSD or severe trauma, and
you can’t get this therapy where you’re at, using kanna extract (preferably MT55) and
getting a good therapist to work with, will help you up the percentages. This is because
kanna works very similarly to MDMA. Just let the therapist know politely, that you’re
supplementing with a herbal extract while you’re there, to treat your anxiety, and most will
have no issues with this.
The promising aspect of this, is that now, you can have Weekly sessions instead of having to
wait 2-3 Months in between each, as with MDMA due to sideeffects and toxicity. Although
be careful that the euforic effects of kanna doesn’t act as a trigger so be mindful about this
before proceeding.
 The safety and efficacy of ±3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine-assisted
psychotherapy in subjects with chronic, treatment-resistant posttraumatic stress
disorder: the first randomized controlled pilot study
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122379/
 Acute Effects of Sceletium tortuosum (Zembrin), a Dual 5-HT Reuptake and PDE4
Inhibitor, in the Human Amygdala and its Connection to the Hypothalamus
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3828542/  A Chewable Cure “Kanna”: Biological and Pharmaceutical Properties of Sceletium
tortuosum https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8124331/
This picture below, can be a great opener in the first stages of acknowledging and
understanding our trauma.
Credit for picture: u/imabritnotayank (Reddit)
Further reading:
You can find a more comprehensive guide on these and other supplements as well as good
places to buy from and save money etc. called: A Short Guide To Using Powerful Healing
Medicines In A Modern Age, on this link. https://fastupload.io/GPMqH19NazVNJNk/file
If the link stops working or if you have any inquiries, reach me on this email, I’ll try answer
within a few days : [email protected]
If you want to donate to our work
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?business=UHL52DQEL5D2C&no\_recurring=0¤cy\_code=USD
bc1qhd28veysgr84xc3r729tdq4d2hgz9rhx9xllcq (BTC)

I went for a walk this morning after taken strong pain killers and thought I’d get some fresh air as mentally I wasn’t feeling good. I seen a police car go past and this might sound silly but I completely broke down.
I wanted to be a police officer.
My whole life that’s all I wanted to do. It was my purpose it’s all I could think about doing with my life.
The last 7 years I have been experiencing chronic pain and really got not further forward apart from finding out I have an ovarian cyst on my left ovary November last year. 2021 I had a camera which cleared my from IC and they couldn’t see anything else. I have lost my relationship over all this and have more recently in the last two years been struggling mentally with it all and I’m a very independent person and can usually deal with everything alone but this is to much even for me.
My cyst will need to be removed as it is large and causing me severe pain. I have been giving loads of different pain killers but it’s not solving the problem. It could be a long time before I can have surgery and talks of endometriosis have been mentioned. When I heard all this last year I had my first attempt but was found and although I was found dead paramedics got me back unfortunately and the police were involved.
I have never felt right since , my neck and bottom of my back have always been in pain since and my head always hurts. Yeah, that’s how it happened… anyways
I’m currently unemployed at the moment. I needed to get my driving license and get a bit more active again before applying for the police force however I can’t because of the pain I’m in and it’s stopping me from doing the most simple of things. I know I’m only 22 but I want to be progressing and doing what I want to do. I don’t drink or smoke or socialise at all. I don’t have family I’m in contact with. I have a very quiet solo life and I enjoy that. I just want to be where my heart is at but it’s never going to happen. Even if they remove my cyst and find endometriosis (which they said was most likely) or something else like that I don’t want to have this pain anymore or be in and out of hospital for surgery’s. I also know you have stages of endometriosis… I wouldn’t be able to be an officer.
It’s frustrating and devastating.
I know some people might think that job isn’t worth it all as I’m aware of peoples opinions however it was my dream and that’s what really hurts as it will only ever be a dream.
Feel like just doing it again because all I feel is pain and sadness. When it happened it was done and over and that was it. I’m stubborn in my ways I don’t want help because it’s not going to stop all this but ending it all will.
They say S***** is a permanent fix to temporary problems but in my circumstances it’s the solution to my problem.

Hey everyone. I don't know if anyone remembers me but I made a post a few weeks back. I'll add the link to the previous post at the bottom. So a few things happened that I thought y'all needed to know. First off,I'd like to thank everyone for your care and support,I never thought I'd cry after reading words but you have no idea how much courage your kind words have given me. I told V to go through with the transfering of the house into my name and he did,I guess he knew he would be getting more money. So now I own the house. Nobody was telling me anything about the 180 change do I decided to go to F(I know it was stupid). She was the only one who was willing to give me any information since she's spiteful and I think I got what I needed. It's not much but it's enough to cement my decision. Turns out, F had her womb removed when she was younger so she can't give V children,the whole family found out and turned against her. And Uncle has been speaking of retiring and V has been at war with Uncles sons to either take over the business or become one of th decision makers and a child would guarantee that he would give a large sum of the company shares that would be in his name and the child's and since F couldn't give him a child,I was the solution. F told me as much as she knew, and so I went to one of Vs cousins I confronted him about what F said and after a heated back and forth he finally confirmed everything. I don't know why but that hurt,even though I knew it was too good to be true I still held onto hope that maybe I was wrong. After conversation I decided to play along until I could get out. He completely cut of F and it's scary just how much he's acting like she never existed. I put in a transfer to a city 12 hours away from here,my headteacher knows my situation and swore not to tell the. I brought up moving to my family and majority of them said I'd be selfish if I did that and their whole lives are here and all that but honestly i feel I should put myself first,I told them it was just a thought and that I would never do that. My mom and brother have been my biggest support system and am taking them with me,my cousins is moving with my little nieces to his wife city. So that's that. I found a house where my mom,brother,two cousins and I will stay. I listed this house for sale on a private auction page. (this will cause a big blow out but I won't be here so lol). I live this place in about a 40 days and the most tiring thing is to get my affairs in order without rising suspicion. I refused to be intimate with V and told him I wasn't ready he told me we'll work on my time but I see him getting more and more frustrated each day. Even though am scared for myself and my family on what they will do when they find out I've decide to leave and am not changing my mind. Am still young and I honestly don't want to end up like my mother,in a loveless marriage with a cheating alcoholic. I took words of internet strangers for me to realize that and am so grateful. Am sorry if this is all over the place. I'll update if anything changes.
https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/11oqj75/aita_for_refusing_to_go_to_my_own_birthday_dinne?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Tl;dr - in financial hell after partners suicide, financially naive and immature single mom needs help adulting and brainstorming.
Hi. This will be long, but I need advice on how to proceed from here on out. This is not a beg for anything other than info so please no scammers. The ask subs have been scam city full of fake checks and Temu all night long and I’m exhausted by it lol I’m just looking for advice to fix my situation, not make it worse lol. My story in its entirety can be found in my post history but I don’t want to dwell on it too much here since it’s a trigger for some and not a grief subreddit. This group as well as the subreddit assistance were both recommended to me as a good advice source so here I am.
A few months ago my partner completed suicide. He was our main breadwinner for the duration of our relationship. I’ve always worked retail but he handled the finances. I cashed my check and he paid bills with it and gave me money for an incidentals or emergencies. It wasn’t that smart in hindsight, but we got along great and he seemed to be the perfect provider.
Well, it came out in time that he had been fired and we were actually getting evicted right before he made his decision. I was blind sided, he had been working MORE hours by his actions and words in the recent past.
Rent, 3 mos. Utilities, 3-6 mos behind. Car insurance on the verge of lapsing. Phones, stuff like that all set to be shut off or on payment extensions. Just a whole mess I was blissfully unaware of. I have pared down any additional expenses on the truly necessary bills to the very bare minimum.
I’ve worked through every workable option from various calls to 211 and received help with the rent/pledges to take care of most of it so that was great! But it’s still an overwhelming avalanche because in using all these programs I’ll be ineligible for help for a time period from that church or not for profit. I’ve called them all, the traditional churches for small town America and also the Mormon, lutheran, Unitarian churches. That’s how I got as far as I did. My state was long depleted their Covid rental assistance. Beyond 211 for community action centers and church, are there other avenues or types of groups you’re aware of that might help one time or short term that 211 isn’t aware of, an untapped resource or hidden gem?
I have started a second job, working for McDonald’s and dollar general now since neither are great about 40 hours and they both are low paying but close to home (I’m not in a large town). I donate plasma but CSL isn’t being great $$ wise and it’s the only center close enough to use. I’m considering trying out door dashing or Uber eats or anything where my kids might be able to come along as I don’t have a sitter for night times and can’t leave them alone.
I understand I can’t fix all this overnight, but I’m hoping others who have struggled or are struggling might be able to think out of the box and tell their ideas for earning income in a way that I can still have my kids around/ kid friendly or something that might work when you don’t have a lot of options as a parent or in jobs. I have attempted to find side jobs on Nextdoor but the babysitting and housekeeping market at least seems to be pretty saturated. I’m not afraid to work hard on my off hours, just don’t know what to offer or ways to do it. I’m hoping you can think outside the box for me and tell me what worked for you to raise the funds.
It has been an absolute struggle to provide but I was able to do a meeting for food stamps and Medicaid for my kids. My social worker is going to try to get me benefits within a week she says. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel there and not a moment too soon bc it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t personally eat for days at a time. To know we are all close to regular nourishment is a blessing. Never in my life did I imagine at 40 I’d be struggling so hard that basic necessities like toiletries and sanitary/hygiene items, food, etc would become impossible to attain. This has been hell, and humiliating.
I’m also going to look into social security for my daughter with this partner (one was his) bc if I understand right she should qualify for benefits. We weren’t married but he is on her birth certificate. I don’t live in a common law state. The situation with his mom who is his next of kin is complicated so hopefully this will go smoothly.
If you’ve had this experience yourself as a young child or your children have I will gladly take ANY advice you have on helping my children hell. Our daughter together is just absolutely lost and desperate to go to heaven too. I can’t answer their questions bc I have many myself. I’m trying to support them the best I can, but I’ll take any advice. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you’re broken is the most difficult thing I’ve ever lived.
Also, does Medicaid cover counseling/therapy for children, or is it something you just have to find on your own? I feel the kids might benefit from this. They have seen and felt things a kid never should from that day forward.
Please give me alllll the advice. I will accept it with an open mind and heart. My goal is just to dig out of this mess, but I can’t see the big picture when all the little ones are flashing by like this. Hopefully this made sense. If you read this far, thank you.

Hey everyone. I don't know if anyone remembers me but I made a post a few weeks back. I'll add the link to the previous post at the bottom. So a few things happened that I thought y'all needed to know. First off,I'd like to thank everyone for your care and support,I never thought I'd cry after reading words but you have no idea how much courage your kind words have given me. I told V to go through with the transfering of the house into my name and he did,I guess he knew he would be getting more money. So now I own the house. Nobody was telling me anything about the 180 change do I decided to go to F(I know it was stupid). She was the only one who was willing to give me any information since she's spiteful and I think I got what I needed. It's not much but it's enough to cement my decision. Turns out, F had her womb removed when she was younger so she can't give V children,the whole family found out and turned against her. And Uncle has been speaking of retiring and V has been at war with Uncles sons to either take over the business or become one of th decision makers and a child would guarantee that he would give a large sum of the company shares that would be in his name and the child's and since F couldn't give him a child,I was the solution. F told me as much as she knew, and so I went to one of Vs cousins I confronted him about what F said and after a heated back and forth he finally confirmed everything. I don't know why but that hurt,even though I knew it was too good to be true I still held onto hope that maybe I was wrong. After conversation I decided to play along until I could get out. He completely cut of F and it's scary just how much he's acting like she never existed. I put in a transfer to a city 12 hours away from here,my headteacher knows my situation and swore not to tell the. I brought up moving to my family and majority of them said I'd be selfish if I did that and their whole lives are here and all that but honestly i feel I should put myself first,I told them it was just a thought and that I would never do that. My mom and brother have been my biggest support system and am taking them with me,my cousins is moving with my little nieces to his wife city. So that's that. I found a house where my mom,brother,two cousins and I will stay. I listed this house for sale on a private auction page. (this will cause a big blow out but I won't be here so lol). I live this place in about a 40 days and the most tiring thing is to get my affairs in order without rising suspicion. I refused to be intimate with V and told him I wasn't ready he told me we'll work on my time but I see him getting more and more frustrated each day. Even though am scared for myself and my family on what they will do when they find out I've decide to leave and am not changing my mind. Am still young and I honestly don't want to end up like my mother,in a loveless marriage with a cheating alcoholic. I took words of internet strangers for me to realize that and am so grateful. Am sorry if this is all over the place. I'll update if anything changes.
https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/comments/11oqj75/aita_for_refusing_to_go_to_my_own_birthday_dinne?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Behind Door #1 is your entire life with your mate. Every precious memory. Every minute that you loved. All your dreams, all your mutual accomplishments. All the challenges met, the defeats shared. The work, side by side. Everything you ever did with them. Raising children. Growing old with them. Every ounce of love you had together, and shared with others, and gave and basked in for your entire life, behind that door, right there in your mind.
Everything you are is behind that door.
Oh, it's so easy to open that door and look in there. So easy. It's you. It's yours after all. You made that. You earned that. You did that.
And then comes the cascade of tears. The wretchedness of memories never to be had with them again. Never to share with them again. Never to love with them again. Of loss. Of pain. Of loneliness. Of pure core wrenching grief. Helplessness. Despair. Heartache. Sadness. Hollowness.
Basically hell on earth, right there. No matter how lovely it was, it simply is no more.
All of it, lost. Gone. Forsaken altogether. Your heart, plucked out, destroyed. Stamped in the mire.
Recovery? Seriously? Recovery?
There is no recovery. There is only that Door #1 that is so easy to open. It is only you, that door, is yours, after all, and that door is yours and yours alone to open and to peer in.
And oh so easy it is to open. And when you do, the same things happen again and again and again
I wish I could say I would not open that door. But it swings open all on its own, without announcements. It just does. It creaks. Yes, I can kick it shut. Slam it back. Stop it from destroying me again and again.
But it's always there, that Door #1. Always there. I don't want the door to go away. I'm proud of what is behind that Door #1. But all the pain is there with it.
And always will be there. No matter how I try to put my happy face on what is in there, the destroyer comes regardless. And those who were there with us, when we open that door together, we all cry too, because it was so beautiful and it's real and painful loss for them as well. And we are all destroyed altogether. It's a most pitiful sight. These group tears. Everyone handles it differently. My girls like a good cry. My sons are like me, trying to hold it shut, and away. And we try not to break down in front of the children. We know there is no gain in showing too much weakness. Of this pathetic reward at the end of our lives. The world we live in doesn't spare the weak. We protected and protect our mates from that world. As best we can anyway. And they do similar, but never quite the same eh? It was a mutual battle fought. But for what in the end? To toss it all in the dark, behind Door #1?
There is no making peace with it. It just does what it does, and has its way with you. And no, the tears do not sway it or persuade it. It just does what it does. And I'm helpless to stop it, other than to kick it solidly shut. And to tell the destroyer to fuck off today, because I'm done playing.
Making a new Door regardless, knowing how it too will end. I'll still be putting as many good things behind this door as I can, just like I did before.
The painful door will have to wait its turn. And time to time, I will have to step in, knowing full well what's in there.
My Love.