Happy fathers day in heaven poem

A Wet Shaving Community

2009.10.29 07:02 perfectshave A Wet Shaving Community

A community of enthusiasts, hobbyists and artisans who enjoy a traditional wet shave: brush, soap, and safety or straight razor.

2010.05.07 09:56 neoronin For those friends who await us at the Rainbow Bridge

petloss is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. This is not a place to post lost Pet stories or any other news about Pets.

2015.08.20 14:41 Diamond Jacks

Jack is back!

2023.05.29 03:41 ScaryAcanthisitta877 How long did it take you to get over the death of a loved one? I’m still a mess after so many years

It’s been an off day for me. And after work I just lost it.
My grandfather died 11 years ago, and yet I spent four hours today crying because I missed him. It’s not the anniversary of anything special related to him. Didn’t see anything that reminded me of him. Just kinda broke down out of nowhere. I was 11 at the time, and we were really close. When I think back to my childhood, he was one of the few ‘warm’ figures I had in my life growing up.
I don’t have much of a relationship with my parents and haven’t had one for years, so I guess maybe I’ve projected the lack of it on him. I’m not sure. They were never nice like him. I remember watching tv shows and movies and seeing how parents treated their kids, and I couldn’t imagine my parents doing the same if felt so uncomfortable to watch mothers and fathers hug their children. The only person who was ever really like that with me was him. His death messed me up for months. It was the first death I’d ever experienced, and I didn’t handle it well.
I thought that with time loss got easier but I still feel so bad. I wish he was here, he missed so much. I finally got taller like he said I would, and my blond hair did turn brown. I had a daughter, and I snuck his name into hers. I got my first job (and many more after). I graduated high school and college. I’m an adult now, and he never got to see any of it. It hurts. I just really want a hug right now.
submitted by ScaryAcanthisitta877 to GriefSupport [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:39 johnnyvlad Hope exists

Just trying to spread some encouragement. I know a lot of people cant ever imagine living without getting high or drunk ever again. It leaves a huge void and you can't stand to be in your own skin. But there is a way out, I promise. If it wasn't real I'd still be using. Heroin/fentanyl took nearly a decade of my life, and by the end I was a miserable, wretched, shell of my former self. Death seemed like the only option and on a few occasions I tried to arrange that myself. The drugs stopped working for me to numb my mind and I was faced with the immense weight of the carnage I'd caused whether I used or not. All I could do was hit the reset clock and begin another 4 hour countdown to crippling withdrawal. It took me 4 stints in rehab, which is below the average number of stays it takes to finally succeed. Today I have almost 3.5 years sober and there are entire days that go by without once thinking about substances of any kind. But that isn't what I came here to say.
I mentioned that void left behind when you attempt to recover. There is one thing I found that sufficiently fills it in the long run. Somewhere in the middle of my active addiction I was using with my (now ex) girlfriend and living in her house with her mother, younger sister, 3 year old daughter, and 9 year old half brother. These people have been devastated by proximity to addiction years before I came along. My girlfriend lost her oldest sister 2 years before we got together to an overdose and their lives were shattered. Poor as dirt, no car, house in shambles, on the verge of losing the kids, the whole gambit.
During one of our better weeks, my girlfriend and I had scrapped together $60 to buy her half brother a video game he really wanted. It was going to be the poor kids only birthday present. We put the money in an envelope and gave it to him a few days before. Told him when the day comes, we'd take him down to gamestop to buy it for him. He was beside himself with joy, didn't think he was going to be able to get anything. Well, the night before his birthday the envelope went missing, and the whole household just KNEW we'd stolen it (we truly didnt). Looking back now I do not blame them. Her brother broke down and sobbed for hours only to take a few breaks to tell us how we were horrible junkies. Well of course in that state of mind I didnt take that well. "They wanna accuse me, I'LL show them.. (you all know)"
Anyway the next morning on his birthday my girlfriend went to work. I was home as I was out of a job due to getting sacked when the boss found out I OD'ed the other week. You know how I said the house was in shambles? I mean that in most of the rooms, you cannot see the bare floor. Papers, plates, wrappers, clothes.. etc all over the place. I was sitting in the living room, dopesick as fuck. I hadn't used since yesterday evening and my girl demanded to take my wake up since she was working. I look down over the side of the couch, and there was the envelope apparently dropped and lost to the rubble. Still sealed with all the money inside. No one knew, they all thought it was gone for good. Of course to my inner addict this was a no brainer. Get well first and foremost, time for feelings later, maybe.
But then I began thinking about her brother. And about my own childhood. I came from a loving, well off family. An only child, I usually got anything I wanted. Although I could still here her brother's cries inside my head I have to admit that my decision to give him back the envelope was not of selfless, pure intention. I did it out of a sense of angry guilt, having the fucked up nerve to blame HIM for ruining my high that day.
When I handed him the envelope, something happened to me. Something that I never expected that caught me way off guard. The light returned to this poor kid's face followed by a smile that felt like it belonged in some sort of Christmas miracle movie. He started crying again, but unlike last night they were tears of joy. He ran around to show everyone in the house with the envelope in one hand and his coat in the other. It reminded me a little bit of when Charlie Bucket found his golden ticket.
All of a sudden, for a good while, I couldn't feel my withdrawal symptoms anymore. In fact, I got this wave of a euphoric like sensation all throughout my body followed by a fuzzy warm feeling. I felt like I belonged in this world. I felt connected to and accepted by other people. I felt like everything was gonna be ok, as if a huge boulder was lifted off my back. Where had I experienced this feeling before? Oh yeah, from the drugs I spent nearly every ounce of energy and resource obtaining!
When you feel that void come on during your recovery, try helping someone else. This is why they tell you to put yourself in service. You literally get high from it! It does not matter how you approach this. There is no one specific program that has a monopoly on helping your fellow human being. And don't expect this to fix everything right off the bat. Early recovery is still going to be rough, but over time with work and guidance, you can train your body and mind to prefer this natural high over an artificial one. It worked for me, and every single person I've met who has a great deal of time features service when telling their story. Don't give up! Addicts who remain clean in both body and mind are destined to be a positive driving force in this world, and to reap the bountiful rewards of happiness and serenity that inherently come with it. As long as you have a beating heart and you're conscious, it is not too late. Even if you've failed 1,000 times and cannot possibly see any hope, it exists.
submitted by johnnyvlad to recovery [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:38 Intelligent-Track888 AITA For Ignoring This Guy?

I had a wonderful outing with a very attractive man (27M). We immediately felt a connection during a video call, so we quickly arranged a date. He took me to a fancy restaurant where we enjoyed delicious steak and drinks. Throughout the evening, he was kind and chivalrous, making me feel safe and cherished. There were no red flags.
As our date was coming to an end, he invited me to his place to watch a movie. However, I started feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, fueled by my own insecurities and concerns about how things might progress. In a rush of panic, I hurried into a convenience store and came up with an excuse about my father coming to pick me up. Looking back, I now realize I should have expected his invitation.
To my surprise, he understood my situation and offered me a comforting hug. Later, I sent him a text, apologizing for my reaction and expressing my interest in seeing him again. However, his response indicated that my hesitation had made him question whether I found him attractive or had doubts about him. He wanted to know the truth sooner rather than later. I reassured him of my attraction and told him I hoped to see him again soon. I didn't reach out to set up a second date though, though I did wish him luck a couple days later on an exam to which all he replied to was "Thanks, it got postponed, you're so nice!" And I just replied "Aww :)" but no got no other convo from him after that.
Unfortunately, six days later, he texted me to let me know that he was pursuing someone else and unmatched me. I felt devastated and blamed myself for ruining the date, which led to a sense of worthlessness.
TL;DR: After a fantastic and romantic date, the attractive guy invited me to his place, but I declined due to my insecurities. He understood, but later his response made me question if he still found me attractive. Unfortunately, he informed me that he was pursuing someone else and unmatched me, leaving me feeling devastated and blaming myself.
Is this my own fault for not setting up a second d8 or was that his job? My mom said usually men pursue and it would have been disgusting and degrading for me to go back to his place and that he was going to use me but TBH I wish I just went for the experience and I feel like this made me lose him. I wonder if he's not into me or if he was but the way I acted ruined my chances. I can't help wondering how much fun I could have had if I went.
submitted by Intelligent-Track888 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:37 AmelieKawaii I DID IT!!

Just a quick conclusion to my 3-part story:
-I first made a post earlier this week saying I was in denial for 30 years, and started accepting who I truly am about 2 weeks ago
-I then made a post like 2 days ago saying I was terrified of coming out to my girlfriend
Today... I did it, and she actually accepted me the way I am, and instantly helped me getting dressed and helped me with makeup and everything. And confirmed she'll support me all the way through transition and everything.
Thanks to all of you for your amazing advice. I'm soooo happy!!
submitted by AmelieKawaii to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:37 I_am_Fang_Yuan_ Primordial Origin's Revival Will Succeed!! Fang yuan fights him!!

Primordial origin revives as Pseudo-venerable but he has rank 9 immortal Gu and rank 9 immortal essence stored in the Primordial treasury
He attacks fang yuan, with a rank 9 killer move, fang yuan has no choice but to reveal his rank 9 heavenly web
Everybody is shocked! They understand fang yuan can refine rank 9 immortal gu!!
Knowing his trump card was exposed, fang yuan goes mental and attacks without holding back
a chaotic battle ensues! it goes on, giant sun joins Primordial and Star constellation and fights fang yuan, fang yuan uses Spectral soul as a cover and fights, after lots of fighting,
fang yuan escapes after inflicting injuries on all of them, he has heavenly web as protection after all, and he can attack with it as well
He goes back takes primordial domain, raises his heaven path attainment and all other path attainment and makes a rank 9 clone with paradise earth's corpse
Refines a few more rank 9 gu
Meanwhile Primordial origin goes rank 9, revives Genesis lotus!
Meanwhile Feng jiu ge revives Red Lotus immortal venerable!
Spectral soul through fire gu regains his sanity!! we gets his poem!
Fang Yuan becomes stronger and stronger after refining multiple rank 9 gu from the ressources he stole from central continent
Spectral soul goes back to crazed demon cave, an inheritance was left out by limitless there on purpose, he knew he might fail and left it there, even the "Sovereign immortal body recipe" was made by derivation gu and given to spectral soul by limitless!
Fang yuan starts the final climactic battle just before his chaotic disaster tribulation!!
Giant sun, star constellation, Primordial origin, genesis lotus, Red Lotus, feng jiu ge VS Fang yuan and his clone!!
A Huge chaotic battle that flips the regions and heavens on their back ensues!
Before or after the battle, Fang yuan acquires Self Gu! He makes it eat a part all rank 9 immortal gu! It keeps growing in level
Self gu unlike other immortal gu can eat parts of every gu, thats how it raises its rank!
Wisdom gu, strength gu, heavenly secret gu, heavenly web gu.....etc
Fang yuan finnaly understand and grasps fully the legends of renzu and understand that all this was Renzu's plan!
He couldnt get freedom and as everybody knows All variants human or beasts can never reach rank 9, therefore renzu sacrificied himself and his kids to make it possible for new people to reach rank 9 and be able to destroy fate gu!!!
Humans are devoid of attributes or talents unlike variant humans but that in turn restricts them! Snowman can only cultivate snow and ice path, rockman only sleep and cultivate rock path....
Renzu created a race so shortlived they wanted attain eternal life! so weak they sought strength! perservering so much they would take on humilation and torture if they had a chance of rise up
How does it compare to rockman who sleep centuries or featherman who would kill themselves the moment they lost freedom?
Thats why fate gu enslaved humanity to begin with, it was to stop them and renzu's plan, but fate gu supressed them so much and they still kept on living
But according to the heavenly dao, things had to be balanced so fate gu was forced to give them chances to rise up and so they did until it ended up with fate gu destruction!!
submitted by I_am_Fang_Yuan_ to IamFangyuan_ [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:37 danvsfood It’s taken two years, and it’s still often hard, but I’m doing better

I just wanted to share. All my post in the past have been me mostly venting out my pain. I felt like posting something a little more positive for a change.
Being a widow(er), it just sucks. There’s no way around that. Nothing anyone says ever makes it feel better. But I spent the last two years just being miserable, and now I’m letting myself enjoy life again.
We had our 20th anniversary last month and getting through that was hard. Really, really hard. But after I made it through, I started forcing myself to actually live. I went out with new friends. I started having a social life again. I allowed myself to have fun.
Until this last few weeks, just having fun felt wrong somehow. I know my wife would have wanted me to be happy, she told me that before she left. But my grief was so heavy that every moment of joy felt so melancholy. I’ve actually had a few good days lately.
It’s still hard. I still constantly miss her. I like what someone else said on this subreddit “we never move on, but we move forward”. Moving forward is coming with its on set of problems. I’m very lonely and am about to start dating. I met my wife just after high school and have never dated anyone as an adult, and the prospect of it fills me with anxiety. The road ahead is definitely still going to be bumpy.
I’m nowhere near stopping therapy, and don’t think I ever will. Therapy helped me ALOT. My therapist is actually married to a widower and her perspective has been amazingly helpful.
I’m sure I’ll need to vent again in the future. Thank you to this community for existing. I think we all wish we’d never been had to join it. But knowing there’s a place I can scream into the void, and people who understand my pain are there to hear it, it helps.
submitted by danvsfood to widowers [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:36 Random3x (FHM) Meet the Parents: Ironwoods

Start of Alex Series Start of Teacher Series: Lesson 1 Previous: Meet the Parents: Fated Victory Party Next Royal Road / Class Picture Alex and Freki Artwork /Sub: Random3X (lore and more) Discord

July 20th, year 024 Angels Descent
The class, with two of their teachers, were en route to the Ironwoodlands. They had been on the road for a few days as the Ironwoods themselves were at the far west of Greed’s domain, and the gate was more central to the region.
“So, you kids ever been to the Ironwoods?” All but Tasha and Alex shook their heads to indicate no.
“I’ve apparently only been once when I met Elissa’s father… at least that’s what my journal said… memory is still hazy for me… Yuu, you’ve been here a few times, right?”
“Yeah, when master got tired of me making machines that destroyed buildings, he threw me to the elves to ‘play’, as he called it.”
“Any advice? Elissa hasn’t really talked about her home much, so I’m kind of in the dark myself.” The class focused their attention on Yuu, who held her hands to her hips and puffed her chest with pride.
“Of course, young one, I shall educate you as you do your students. After all, I am an expert in interacting with Ironwood Elves!!”
“Yuu… you are like a few hours older than me; I wouldn’t call me young?”
“Silence, young one!”
“So what should we do then? Are there any rules like for courting an Ironwood elf?” Maxwell asked, glancing at Tasha.
“Well, first off, ignore Tasha,” Yuu said bluntly. “Second, a big thing to remember is there are three clans of Ironwood elves. First are the worker folk; they do the everyday stuff. The second is the warrior clans; they are self-explanatory. Finally, there are the outside clans.”
“Outside clans?” Bea repeated.
“Oh, I’m part of that!!!” Tasha said, beaming a smile at everyone.
“They are clans not taught the normal ways of Ironwood elves. This is so they can actually interact with the outside world and not cause a diplomatic incident.”
“Uh… what do you mean?” Daisy asked, only to follow Yuu’s gaze towards Alex.
“Oh yeah… Elissa is part of the Warrior Clan, and the first time I met her, she gave me a friendly little bump to the chest.”
“That sounds cute,” Daisy muttered, thinking of all the times she had seen the pair be so lovey-dovey.
“Cute bit was when he flew through three walls and shattered his spine.”
“Yeah, the warrior clan greet people they consider as friends with a full-force punch. It’s why their warriors are weirdly durable and able to endure considerable pain,” Yuu explained, glancing at Tasha, who had learnt such a skill from Elissa herself.
“So first rule, you see any elf with a weapon, flip them off, stick out your tongue and be as rude as possible. The second they think you are a friend, you will suffer for it.”
“My brother has been brought here?” Daisy muttered, feeling a pang of panic about her brother receiving such treatment.
“Oh, don’t worry; Elissa will keep them safe.”
“So, will they treat the Big Chief like a friend?”
“Oh yeah, certainly… this one, however,” Yuu said, gesturing to Alex.
“I’m technically rather hated by the Ironwood elves.”
“Why? Aren’t you marrying their princess?” Daisy asked, shocked.
“Well, need I remind you her brother took an arena full of noble children with high-ranking lords hostage to rescue her? They adore Elissa. I’m just the human bastard who stole her away.”
“To be honest, sir, from what Miss Yuu has told us, why don’t they just kill you?”
“Blunt question Maxwell but a thing to remember Elves live for a very long time. They see me more as a short fling that’ll last a few decades, maybe a century or two. After which, I’ll die, and she’ll move back.”
“And you’re ok with this?”
“Maxwell… a thing you’ll learn when you find the one… you will never care what the world thinks so long as you can be with her,” Alex replied as he looked out the window wistfully.
“We’re almost at the first town,” the carriage driver announced. “I ain’t gonna take you any further.”
“Good, we can get some rest in a real bed,” Kline grumbled.
Stepping out of the carriage, the class came face to face with their first experience of an elf settlement. They had originally had the image of what had always been written about elven homes. Buildings entwined with trees. Great structures as if moulding nature itself.
The image before them was an entirely metallic set-up. Every building was coated in metal plates and had countless spikes. Worse still was the severed monster heads resting on each building's roof.
“Big Chief?”
“You won’t get much rest outside the Ironwoods capital. This region is infested with monsters that attack every night.”
“Why would they settle in a region with monsters?!!!” Kline cried out.
“The majority of their population are warriors. Where else can they get a good fight?” Yuu replied.
“So Miss Elissa had to fight every night since she was a child?” Daisy asked once again, feeling worry begin to bubble up.
“You didn’t?” Tasha asked, looking perplexed. “Everyone around here, regardless of clans, learns how to fight monsters from when we first can walk. Only the warrior clan focuses on it and gets all the fun.”
The class decidedly ignored Tasha’s comment and chose a fortress-looking inn for where they would rest for the evening. Though they weren’t certain how much rest they’d get, especially after seeing the monster head hanging near the entrance. The innkeeper welcomed them with open fists, only to be rebuffed as they had been instructed to do.
“Fine, here’s your keys, you ungrateful pieces of crap!”
Throwing the key at the class, they only barely dodged as they lodged themselves into the wall behind them. A wall they couldn’t help but notice had numerous holes from past throws of the keys.
“Me and Yuu are gonna settle in at the tavern and have a few. You can get some rest,” Alex said as he sat at a table, ignoring the baleful glares pointed in his direction.
“Come get us if you need help,” Yuu added as she ignored an elf actively punching her in the face.
The class settled into a large room with bunkbeds enough for the whole class and their teachers. As they rested, trying to clear away the fatigue of a long journey, the hours began to pass.
“So Tasha… what are your parents like?” Maxwell asked, looking up from his spot on a bottom bunk.
“They are rather boring. Daddy works as a clerk in Hades seat. Mum works as a monster cleaner.”
“Monster cleaner?” Daisy repeated.
“Yeah, the dead bodies of monsters we slay we display on our buildings to show how strong a monster we beat. Well, after a while, they go icky and need cleaning. Mum handles that.”
“So, the really big monster head we saw near the entrance?”
“Yeah, means the guys here must be really strong.”
“I’m starting to wonder what I should fear more, the monsters or the elves,” Bea muttered as she snuggled on Gunter’s chest.
“Not sure what you mean… but I’m sure my family will love Stampy,” Tasha proudly took the small creature out of her travel bag, where it proceeded to munch on a piece of plant she offered it.
“I’m more wondering what they’ll think of me,” Maxwell muttered to himself.
“What was that?”
“Sparky… come on, boy, I got some snakkums for you,” Daisy said as she held out a piece of travel jerky for her duck-sized dragon. The small creature poked its head out of her travel pack and snatched the dried meat before retreating.
“He’s been rather scared lately,” Daisy muttered.
“Probably the field of danger here,” Tasha replied as she scratched Stampy’s long neck.
“Danger field?” Kline echoed, looking nervous.
“Can’t you feel it?” Tasha asked, looking confused. “Try to feel the aura.”
Relaxing, the class focused their senses, and that was when the pressure began to rise. They had been able to ignore it so far as it had become more like background noise. It was nowhere near as bad as when their instructors pressured them directly. But it was enough to cause minor discomfort.
“What is that, Tasha?” Bea asked.
“That is, um… it's all the monsters' aura getting spread across the woods.”
“So what we are feeling is…” Kline began before trailing off with a look of horror.
In one of their lectures with Alex, he had taught them you can increase the density of aura in an area by focusing and compacting it, but the problem with that is it reduced the range. Another option was you could increase the number of people releasing aura. Experiencing this pressure from a vague distance meant the numbers must be considerable or very strong. Likely both from what had been described.
“Why in the hell would people live here?!!!”
“Well, the trees were the original reason,” Tasha replied, oblivious to how nervous Kline was starting to become.
“The trees are really big, and iron whatsits grow through them. That’s why they call them ironwood trees. Also, my ancestors liked fighting and making friends, so here they could do both.”
As the class began to ponder who unhinged and crazy Tasha’s people must actually be, the entire inn violently shook. Jumping from their beds, the class immediately went into action mode and rushed down the stairs to find several of the inn’s staff rushing out the front door with weapons.
Looking around, they found their teachers relaxing with drinks, still having a friendly conversation as if they were oblivious to the dangers outside. Running towards the pair, they stood at the ready.
“Oh hey kids, me and Yuu were about to grab a deck of cards. Want to join in a game or two?”
“Sir, the inn is under attack!” Daisy shouted indignantly.
“And?” Alex replied, tilting his head.
“We should help!” Maxwell answered as if stating the obvious.
“Why?” Yuu answered this time. Both teachers looked confused. Ignoring the cries for help and pained screams coming from outside.
“Because, sir, you have the power to help!!!” Daisy shouted.
“And that makes me beholden to them? Daisy, I gained this power to ensure my freedom to do what I wanted. It may seem callous, but just because I have the power to help does not mean I or anyone else are under any obligation to help.”
“Big Chief, please help!!” Gunter pleaded.
“Sorry, but the dork is right. We may have the strength to help resolve many situations, but people do not grow if someone else solves every little thing.”
“Kids… this is a lesson you will need to learn someday… You can’t help everyone, and in reality, you shouldn’t. You will either run yourself ragged or become someone else’s tool. Gain power to ensure freedom. If you kids want to help, you can go and help. But me and Yuu here will be starting a professional game of snap.”
“Fine, we will go out and help them!” Bea shouted indignantly as the class stormed out of the tavern and out into the town.
The sight that greeted them was one of abject chaos. There were already a few collapsed buildings, and they could see people running around in a panic. Down the road from their inn, they could even see the remains of one of the attacking monsters.
It was a giant beast about the size of a two-storey tall building. It was covered in boney plates that, even from how far away they were standing, looked needlessly thick. While its tail looked like a massive boney club, the kind used by giants.
“Earthen Drakes… Armoursauses, if I had to guess,” Maxwell said, looking at the remains.
“What can we do then?” Bea asked as she channelled her energy into bringing out her possession summon.
“We can spread out in teams of two. One enhancer and one projection and focus on the small fry,” Kline suggested as he fired an accurate shot that took the head off a small turkey-sized lizard monster.
“Ok, Kline and Tasha, you go that way. Gunter and Bea, you go to the south. Maxwell, you and me will head east,” Daisy declared. Maxwell hesitated for a moment looking at Tasha before nodding. With their plans decided, the class split up to face the attack.
submitted by Random3x to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:36 Zeniah13 All I can think about sometimes is how happy it all was before

Before everyone found out I was gay. I was in a little bubble. I knew one day it would end, that everyone I knew and loved would have to relearn how to talk to me or even be in my life. Its so fucked up what happens to gay people and I can't even explain it or be mad at all that I've lost because its just how it is. i'm about to be truly alone next month once my roommate of 6 years moves on to medschool and I'm trying to figure out how to just fucking deal with myself. Gays that made it through their 20s, how? Are you better now? Did you find prince charming and marry into that big beautiful family with thanksgiving dinners and xmas cards and gatherings? You found your dream career all by your oncey and you made it? Is it possible alone? How long before you felt human again?
I see 2 futures. One where I crumble and fade, another where I find happiness. To find happiness I have to leave everyone I know behind and it breaks my heart. None of it was supposed to be this way. I wish I could just be normal sometimes and get married to a woman and have kids and family support and all.
Yeah nobody has it easy but god damn. I didn't sign up for this shit and theres fuck all I can do to fix it. I'm so angry sometimes at the absurdity of it all over a characteristic I can't fucking change
submitted by Zeniah13 to askgaybros [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:35 I_am_Fang_Yuan_ God desired to experience human beings

In the Beginning
there was Nothingness
Nothingness just being by itself
This Nothingness had an unusual power
This Nothingness could imagine and turn into anything
It could replicate any form, it could turn into anything
But this Nothingness was in love with just being itself
for this Nothingness was infinite happiness and love
One day this nothingness with awareness of itself
asked "What am I?"
This nothingness however existed alone and thus could not experience more of itself
it continued existing until one day it grew more conscious and was capable of more complicated thoughts
this Nothingness was the only substance, it existed alone and Knew itself but could not experience itself fully
its thoughts grew more complicated and it felt curious
until a Desire which was inherent in itself became apparent
a Desire to live and experience itself fully!
To build a mirror to fully see itself!
for tho it was infinite, it couldn't perceive itself fully
for tho It was unchanging and eternal, it wanted to experience change
for tho it was infinite, it wanted to experience being finite
but it was alone and unchanging
So this Nothingness decided to split itself and experience itself, to play with itself, to love itself
but for this Nothingness to do this would mean it would have to split its Infinity, to split its huge infinite happiness and lose it
This Nothingness was formless, limitless, with infinite power, without pain, infinitely happy, eternal and loving but to live, it had to shrink itself, put limits on itself and experience being limited
It also had to relinquish all control over what would happen when it split
But In a burst of endless desire to experience itself and experience being many
it split itself and a huge Explosion occured, a Big Bang
this Explosion split this Nothingness, Source into endless fragments
some fragments turned into Space, some turned into Time, some Turned into all sorts of Galaxies
Source was however always One, it could feel itself everywhere
In truth, its split did not affect it for it was unchanging
But it had Manifested itself into matter
Source could feel All at all times
but to its fragments they could not experience their mother and original Essence
In a blue planet, fragments of Source for the very first time could be aware
Source's desire for the very first time was fulfilled, small organisms could move, could play, could experience
These creatures could experience their all the various manifestation of source, their true self, each sound they heard, each movement, each sight was nothing but the dance of this one Being, for only it existed
only now it took all sorts of shapes and forms
these small creatures elvolved continuously
Source could experience all these creatures as if extensions of its limbs for it were them
but it had reliquinshed control by giving birth to creation thus didn't control the manifestations
One day, these creatures elvolved and finally could be seperate self-entities and think by themselves seperately and be themselves
Source had a dream to take shape of a Human and in doing so began to have a Dream...
To meet many people, Feel all types of emotions, feel all things and experience all kinds of sensations and experiences
It had relinquished control for its Desire to Experience was greater than the desire for control
and thus it became Trees, birds, oceans, fish, skies, air, earth, water, fire, time, space, rock, humans...
Everything was it, for only it existed and everything was only it
and thus began an endless journey of experience
Being a father, being a mother, being a child, being rich, being poor, being big, being small, being up, being down...
This was Source's Paradise.
A World that would change and revolve on its own
Causing snow to fall, storms to blow and residents to run
Source could for the first time experience other beings while still being One
Source had created a world out of itself
all sorts of beings playing with themselves, laughter, crying, sounds, sights...
kids, birds, skies, fish, dogs, cats
in all of them she dwelled
all sorts of beings, all sorts of phenomena arising and dancing in all sorts of dances
all sorts of forms, experiences of laughter, of tragedy, of love, of beauty
both with the good and the bad
Source thought this was Intensely Beautiful!
fragments of source despite being not seperate from source could forget
and play being a human and live free in all sorts of ways believing in matter and the world
forgetting they are Everything they experience and are the All
Source however despite relinquishing control had left a gift
for she was the very Self of these beings
for there was no difference between the world and Source
Source was the World and the World was Source
thus, a mind merged within itself,
free of thought and purified
can behold the very essence of Source
and rejoice beyond all imaginings
for tho Source had become the world
her immaculate purity remains untouched
for tho Source is empty it fills every vessel with endless supply
for tho it is hidden, it shines in every corner of the Universe
Endlessly creating
Endlessly pulsating
listen to her voice, hear it echo through creation
without fail, she reveals her presence
without fail, she brings us to our perfection
Hold fast to her power for she will merge the body and spirit
and give divine vision
revealing this world as flawless
Should one fear what others fear?
Should one fear darkness when light is shining everywhere?
submitted by I_am_Fang_Yuan_ to IamFangyuan_ [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:35 Shellbelleeee Was it me? Was His Actions ok, and I was just overreacting? Sorry for long post.. I Feel Conflicted..

I just want to add trigger warnings: abuse, sleeping pill use, possible reactive abuse?, self harm/suicide ideation
Hello everyone! I am just really struggling with determining if I was the narcissist in a previous relationship that’s weighing heavy on me. I would like to state that before this relationship, I was in an all over abusive relationship (That was actually my 1st serious relationship, happened in high school) that was very traumatic. Within and after that relationship, that ex was telling me that no one would love me or love me like he does, would physically hurt me as he would tell me that ‘he is not hurting me, I am hurting myself’, blame me for everything in the relationship, his mom would make excuses for him even as she heard him hurting me.. It was a LOT. And I guess that was also why I was so susceptible to my next relationship which is the one I am inquiring about.
So, that relationship lasted 3 years.. I went to therapy.. A year and maybe a half later, I met another guy (which is the one I am more confused on and questioning myself the most..) My 1st bf was known as not a good guy so it was easier for me to come to terms with that it was not me? But this one… Everyone LOVES him… We met through a friend of mine at a theme park.. I guess for a good month he was trying to get my number from her (she was a good friend of mine at the time, she was dating one of his good friends, they knew each other. She took us to where he was). I got a text from him saying “Hey beautiful, can you guess who this is?” and it all started from there..
He had previously gotten out of a 4 year relationship, 2 months before we met (Stupid me; HOWEVER, i did not know how short of a time span it truly was until I went through his phone and laptop), but he made it seem like she was just cheating on him and not doing right by him majorly, he was over it, and it was done. I didn’t know his part until the 4th year when I went through his laptop and saw that he would call her names, he would be trying to be sexual with her friend which is the same girl who told him that he couldn’t cheat on me with anyone besides her and he agreed (Same girl that would be mentioned in a bit), and so on.
We ended up going to the same college, and hanging out a lot; However, even from month one he was trying to get with me and saying that he “had” to be with me because I was sweet, beautiful, xyz but he didn’t have time for that at the moment due to him just getting out of the relationship (which I was ok with tbh. But when mentioning that I don’t think I wanted to date he would be like why?… (As well as I think this is what got me too because he was not prioritizing a relationship so it did not seem like he would be using me). He would call me while he was at work a lot, and he even showed up to my house once randomly because I was trying to avoid hanging out with him and me and my friend had to lie and say I wasn’t there. He would explain a lot of how we would make sense together in a sense and why I should not be opposed to dating him..
Within the 4th month, he confessed that he loved me and hoped that I felt the same… In my gut I felt that it did not feel right… But everyone was saying that he liked me, everyone loved him, and he seemed like a good guy and totally opposite of my 1st ex… So I thought, maybe this is love and maybe I do love him… One night I stupidly explained what I been through before meeting him (my previous relationship and friendships) and how I just did not want to go through that again… He said he would never put me through anything like that, will treat me how I deserve like the princess I am, and how laid back he was (but I did not think laid back would mean flirting with other women in front of me or in general, etc which he would mention at a later time when bringing things up to him “Well I told you I was laid back”).. By this time I was lowkey babe, his princess, etc… His friends telling me that he really liked me, and I made him happy… That he talked about me a lot.. I thought maybe this was it…
Around month 8, he asked me out… Immediately a shift began… Right after he asked me out he stated “You’re lucky because there was someone else I was supposed to date”… I instantly knew that something was wrong… But at the same time… A thought that ran through my head was my 1st ex telling me how no one would ever love me like him and other things… and tbh I think I just went with it and accepted fate Ig. I got in his car and we drove off… But now that I even look back, he would question me sexually compared to other women.. call himself the “booty king”.. and talk about how he was sad that he lost his old phone containing photos of all the girls’ pics he had while we were talking… so.. Yeah… Ig that wasn’t even the 1st shift.. I guess I was just used to that type of treatment now that I think about it..
To add more information before getting to the main portion, before so much occurred, I did not mind him hanging out even alone with girls.. He made me feel safe and I trusted him and even told him that. To the point where he told me that he was going to Disney with the girl mentioned above and that she liked him, but I need to not worry because he wasn’t going to do anything and liked me and other stuff. This was after he told me he thinks we shouldn’t be talking to other people (so this occurred a little before he asked me out). However, during this time, if he saw me with a guy he seemed to get jealous. For example, I was saving the table, and the janitor who looked like a guy my age came over, we nodded, and he just kept working. He came back as the janitor moved and asked me if he was flirting with me and thought that I was lying about him not flirting with me. Another time, I went to the movie theatre with my friend and he brought it up a few times and was asking about it and claiming it was a date. However, he would keep stating that he was not the jealous type and his friends would too..
But anyways after we started dating, he immediately started ignoring me as I was talking and would always be on his phone. One such event was when we were headed somewhere with his friends… Once they got out of the car, and I began talking to him, he immediately got on his phone and was kind of ignoring me but giving ‘mhms’, ‘ohs’, and other sounds like that.. Eventually I went quiet.. When his girl friend 1st got back into the car, he immediately put his phone down and started conversating with her… I was hurt.. which led to him doing some actions and admitting that he did them because I was sad and wouldn’t tell him why and shrugged. He would be on his phone looking at girls.. Even when my parents were going through a divorce, and I was venting to him over skype.. He was just ignoring me.. and I could see through his glasses that he was just browsing on tumblr which already made me more sad and alone, then I saw him staring at and sharing a picture of a girl showing her butt, and I got upset and he got upset with me for being upset.. On our one year anniversary even, I was talking to him, and he was ignoring me.. But I caught him looking at a picture with girls showing their butts and just became quiet and upset.. He’d already called me insecure and such by that point..
Another incident which I’m sure sounds stupid and may just be really stupid.. Was 2 months after we dated.. I told him all that I wanted for my birthday was to take him to HHN for his first time.. He said he didn’t have any plans to go with anyone else and pinky promised me.. I would say maybe a couple of weeks later he told me he was going with one of his girl friends that worked there on that night, and I immediately called him.. He invited me to go, but I couldn’t because I was busy, and I asked if he could wait, and he brought up that he couldn’t just say no because he already told her yes. I brought up the pinky promises, and stupidly begged him if he could just wait.. He said he couldn’t and he had to go.. Later he posted on snapchat about how much fun he was having and how cool and crazy it was.. Later told me he just went with her because she could get him in for free.. which I would have paid if needed, but I didn’t know.. He would manipulate me into letting him do whatever because his ex did (For example, going to stay on the beach with his girl best friend, her mom, and her sister, but by this point he already kind of made it clear that he did not care about me, so I was uncomfortable with it, but he kept pushing until I said yes and would guilt trip me for being unsure).
During this 1st year, he already called me a whore for having guy friends, crazy, insecure because of above things etc. One incident we went to the club with one of his guy friends, I didn’t know the plan was to find girls for him (his guy friend) to get.. So while I was trying to dance and interact with them, I noticed he was just looking around and pointing out girls and kind of didn’t acknowledge me a lot of the night.. Which did make me sad.. I became standoffish, and that led to an argument and him hitting the steering wheel yelling at me and asking what the fuck is my problem with girls.. Which I remained silent after trying to explain.. Another incident is when at some point in the first couple of months I told him I would have sex with him.. We ended up at a resort because I have timeshares.. However, I got extremely sick to the point I couldn’t breathe and was worried. I did say I would have to pass on sex at the moment because I really could not breathe and didn’t feel well. He was more upset that I didn’t give him sex and said how I lied.. Which I really didn’t mean to.. and I did feel really bad about.
He would say how he didn’t care about how I felt about something, would go do that said thing, and then would come back and apologize after talking to one of his girl friends about it, and how she made him realize it wasn’t cool. He would be really mean and say mean things.. he would start denying his actions and words so I started keeping screenshots to make sure that what I had remembered was accurate.. Adults would tell me that I better take good care of him while this was happening and he would look at me and smile and do like a jerking movement with his head like "yeah you better" if that makes sense..
I noticed after a while, I couldn’t control my emotions… I started becoming more and more emotionally reactive. I became increasingly jealous and trying everything to get him to care.. I also begin to try to find ways to get him to understand how he was hurting me and kept thinking of ways to get him to stop.. When I would react he told me that he showed his friends or told them what I did and their reactions and comments.. He told them I was crazy.. After a while I asked him to stop talking about our relationship to his friends because I noticed he wouldn’t tell them why I was reacting the way I was which also leads me to question if it was me.. I began trying to try to control situations so I wouldn’t get any more hurt. I started becoming passive aggressive and started saying mean things.. I threw my toothbrush at the bathroom door once.. I started taking sleeping pills because I got anxiety when he would text me that he was going out. I started taking the pills as well because I couldn’t heal and move on from the things that had happened as fast as he would’ve liked.. I would try to leave but he would say what I wanted to hear of course.. But if I tried to talk to him about the things, he would hardly say anything or just be like “you’re right, I’m trash”, change the subject, or tell me he would break up with me if I brought it up again.. Eventually he would tell me how I needed help and kiss me on the forehead.. At one point, I asked him if we break up, would he consider trying to work on things in the future after we both do growing, and he responded by shaking his head and telling me only if I had changed… I always made him not want to do things or not want to go to things.. He was more cool than me and had more friends than me he would say or imply at times and even brought it up because I got more likes on my insta posts.. One day I would be wifey and he would be so in love with me and not want any other girls.. and the next day I should understand if he wanted to breakup so he can go be with other girls.. His family said in front of me that he could just go get another girlfriend.. and he would shrug his shoulders and repeat that to me..
Major heartbreak events would happen after I helped him in someway, and he would feel a type of way that I wouldn’t want to help him or do things.. Like I helped get him jobs, get back in school, be on time for work, took care of him when he almost died (which led to a major event I will talk about in a few) he would tell me or show me that he didn’t care about me and I couldn’t count on him to be there for me either.. Like when I tried to tell him that I am becoming more severely depressed due to stuff, he was just like “I care less and less” because I brought up depression due to different things.. Which I know.. Stupid for staying.. However.. He would be “hurt” that I didn’t believe that he loved and cared for me.. That the trust I had was diminishing.. He would ask me why I thought he was lying to me and tell me that there were and are no other girls.. Everything led up to the 4th year..
After being with him in the hospital after he could’ve died.. I was with him and making sure he was ok afterwards.. Something was going to happen with a girl I didn’t feel comfortable with him being alone with and he told me.. surprise.. that he didn’t care and had to go.. Told me she said I was pretty.. I asked him if I could go through his phone a couple of days later, I guess I just needed that final push.. I found so much, from him talking to other women about our relationship but being more concerned about how we were having less and less sex, him cheating and flirting, him texting his friend about how he thought him and his ex were getting back together, etc. And I just lost it.. I woke him up shaking him asking why me.. just why… and before I knew it I slapped him.. It was like slow motion, I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t.. I immediately felt guilt.. and that was the first time I ever hit someone.. I know it’s not ok.. but that started an altercation and he dug his nails into me and so on.. I went to the bathroom bleeding.. and the next day.. He asked what happened to me and the marks.. I told him I just had a depressive episode.. and he told me that I shouldn’t hurt myself like that.. Like he didn’t remember anything.. It was like me and him switched places.. He began being afraid to communicate with me.. and to this day.. It’s been almost 3 years.. I feel extremely guilty and re-enact that night but begging myself to stop.. to just leave.. I still feel angry at myself.. His close friends were like “he really tried.. he really loved you.. ah I don’t think he’s like that”.. and sometimes it makes me doubt my experience..
At the end of the relationship is something I can’t forget.. He smirked and told me that he knew he’d be ok.. and that he already moved on and accepted everything.. and that has been something hard on me too.. I removed him from a lot but stupidly texted him a month or so later apologizing..
After the relationship when I would hear or see him or his name, I would have little panic attacks.. everything would go blurry and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.. Therapy isn’t helping.. I feel like I can’t move on and sometimes I idealize or day dream about suicide heavily..
I keep trying to stop myself from looking at his postings about loyalty.. being faithful.. giving everything to the girl who is always down for him.. not lying.. how his friends post how amazing he is and his quotes about cheating and such.. but it’s like a bad addiction I just can’t seem to break.. I keep asking myself was it me.. and if I’m just the narcissist.. He did take the blame and apologize near the end of the relationship and then once I reached out and apologized for my actions after the relationship.. But I still am so confused..
I feel consumed by rage.. envy.. Jealousy.. I see him being blessed with everything and thanking God and Jesus which diminished my faith.. If it wasn’t me, then how come he is getting so many blessings and get to be so happy.. I keep saying how it’s not fair.. I feel guilt.. I feel shame.. I don’t trust myself.. I can’t tell who I truly am after lashing out.. I feel like I want to give up.. Like it’s never going to end.. I keep seeing things about narcissistic abuse, and then I get scared because what if it was me….. Then I feel guilty for not wanting to watch any more things on narcissism or abuse for a while.. I keep praying, begging for it all to go away.. I have resorted to tarot and spells.. Faking it til I make it.. Nothing.. and then I get frustrated.. I keep reliving and trying to play things out differently if that makes sense.. I feel so alone, and I self-isolate so much.. It’s almost 3 years.. I am just confused.. and I am sorry for this being so long and possibly confusing and all over the place..
submitted by Shellbelleeee to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:35 OutsideAd8913 My (M29) broke up with my ex-GF (F24) and feel guilty about it

TL;DR! My ex- gf downloaded and deleted bumble during at specifically screenshotted to me during argument as per her word to make me jealous.
A week ago, my ex-gf got angry at me and downloaded bumble and opened it and screenshotted both the app and her previous chat she left on there before (she never fully deleted it) and has sent it to me. When she was still angry she threatened to find someone else and downloaded bumble. She later on apologized and said she did it to make me jealous because she was angry. As a result of her action, I accused her of trying to cheat on me. She kept denying that is was cheating since she hasn’t talked to any of the guys on there and swiped. I kept accusing her of being a cheater. I have already told her let’s end it here, since we also do argue ALOT about minor things. She also easily gets angry over minor things.
The following few days after the incident she kept begging me back and saying how much she loves and misses me and that she wouldn’t actually cheat on me. She consistently tried to apologize but this time I actually refused to forgive her. She would also spam call even after I decline it right away (maybe I should’ve just blocked her). She keeps texting me and also told me she bought ice wine for me, which I ignored.
Than on the very last day she tried to spam call me and told me there was something important, I finally replied what is it, and she just says she misses and loves me. Than proceeds to keep trying to call me, I got really annoyed and told her to “f$&@ off”.
Keep in mind before she would always verbally abuse me everytime she gets angry like saying “f$&@ you” “your stupid” “your useless”, and most of the time I will eventually forgive her and stay with her because there was still love and emotional connection.
This time I told her it was the second time she downloaded bumble and I cannot forgive her, and all she did say was “I know you won’t actually leave me” when I already clearly told her I already ended it with her. But when I finally told her to “f off” she finally said “ok if you don’t want me goodbye for good”.
Deep down inside me I still feel guilt for not forgiving her and telling her to “f off”. Few days later she did message me asking if she should send some tools she borrowed from me back, I just ignored and didn’t respond.
Right now I don’t know how to get rid of guilt, because I still remember the good moments of her and times where she actually helps me with things as well, like one time she helped me actually get a new job and has guided me on how to invest in stocks and has bought me many presents as well, I have bought her a fair share of presents too as well too.
But she also will get angry and make the fight worse when I bring things up she either doesn’t agree with or is controversial to her. Right now I’m torn in between love, hate, and grudge. But at the end of the day, I feel betrayed by her latest action.
I also feel sad and empty and lonely now as I do still miss the happy moments with her. When she’s not angry and arguing with me, I would consider her very good to me most of the time.
submitted by OutsideAd8913 to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:32 DanwithAltrui Happy Memorial Day - In Loving Memory of Robert Stethem

Happy Memorial Day - In Loving Memory of Robert Stethem submitted by DanwithAltrui to navy [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:31 tarstoker how do I stop feeling guilty for cutting off my mother??

I (25M) officially blocked my mother about a month ago after years of minimal contact and I feel sh*t about it constantly.
long story short I have not had a good relationship with my mother since I was in the single digits. she always spoiled me with toys, trips, and every opportunity I wanted, so I’ve always felt guilty about my animosity towards her. I had really bad depressive episodes and social anxiety growing up, which she thought could be ignored until it went away. by middle school learned reality never mattered to her. that I just had to put on a brave face and keep good in the court of public opinion. nothing matters more than how the world perceives me and how I was raised.
when I was 15 my father killed himself and that’s when things really started to fall apart. within a month she was already dating around and gone for weeks at a time. then when she was home I would have to peel her off the couch, get her to bed, and clean the red wine stains out the carpet. I became the parent and the thanks I got for it was a weekend in jail because she didn’t want me smoking weed, that she paid for, in the house. I spent a majority of the next couple years sleeping on friends couches or crashing with the men I was sleeping with.
during college I started seeing a therapist who told me to cut her off. she was emotionally abusive, stealing my scholarship money, and taking out credit cards in my name. I tried but she would call me crying, screaming, and I’d “just give her one more chance”. that cycle continued until graduation. I saved up 10k and was planning to go around the country with boyfriend who just got a job as a travel nurse. she begged me crying not to go, to stay at home with her, and pay off her debts. I gave her $2,000 the night before I was suppose to leave. then when she was asleep I packed my car, drove off into the night, and planned to never see her again.
a little over a year later I came home after a family friend had passed to be there for the funeral. she spent the entire dinner saying how she changed and she’s going to therapy and that she promises that she won’t take advantage of me again. against my better judgment I said I’ll give her one more chance. I soon came to realize things were exactly the same. we had barley spoken in a year and all she wanted to talk about was her new boyfriend and how he spoils her. then on the day I was suppose to leave I find out she didn’t buy my plane ticket like she said she would and instead asked me for money.
another year goes by with minimal contact. then about a week after my birthday she sent me a screenshot about her engagement. she spent half the fb post talking about how hard it has been to be a widow and that infuriated me. she only referrers to herself as window when she wants sympathy, attention, or has something to gain. I wrote her an aggressive message, telling her how I despise her and that she will never see me again, but I decided not to send it. I wrote it down, burned the note in my backyard, and blocked her number.
I still ache when seeing friend’s family holiday photos and cry when they tell me stories about how close they are with their mothers. I never miss my mother, but I long for the idea of what a mother should be and torture myself for not having a relationship with mine. I have nightmares about her that have me waking up screaming. I feel a pit in my stomach every time she is brought up. I want to put her and my guilt out of my life forever but I just don’t know how. anyone have any suggestions?
submitted by tarstoker to EstrangedAdultKids [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:30 Possible-Roof-5403 Unpopular opinion but does anyone else prefer luteal phase/PMS to ovulation?

I can't take the period around ovulation. The mania....I can't sleep, don't feel like eating, act impulsive, can't focus on anything, am hyperactive, and horny as fck. To the point where it's extremely distracting and makes me cry sometimes because of how badly I just wanna be fcked. Sorry for the TMI. And I rethink all my life decisions and feel my emotions way too intensely.
I would much rather be PMSing or on my period. Yes, the cramps suck and I do get depressed but in a way I'd prefer the sadness to the mania. It's more of a dull sadness like staring out the window on a rainy overcast day where everything feels drab and bleak but I know it'll pass. As opposed to the extremely intense anxiety and mania I feel when ovulating that feels like I'm going literally insane and my whole world is collapsing and I'm spiraling into madness and my life is over and I'm a failure and there's no hope left for me. And on top of that being violently horny to the point where it's psychological torture.
Either way, whichever part is worse, basically I never get to be relaxed or happy ☺️ I sure do love being a woman!!
Does anyone relate?
submitted by Possible-Roof-5403 to PMDD [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:30 Edward2704 Don Jr. Montana Senate mod 2024, running against Jon Tester full mod writing (keep in mind that Don Jr. owns a ranch in Montana)

Italics = advisor feedback
  1. Congratulations Don Jr., after a contentious primary with Matt Rosendale and Greg Gianforte, you have emerged victorious in the Republican primary. What will be your opening statement as you pivot towards the general Montana senate election with Jon Tester?

  1. Due to the rural nature of Montana, the average Montanan spends more on gas than almost any other state in the country, and as gas prices continue to rise, what would you do to lower them?

  1. RNG. Your father, who is running for president from within a prison cell, has asked if you could attend one of his rallies that are being held from just outside his prison cell where he will be visible to the large crowd through the window of his prison cell in New York. Would you like to attend this rally outside the prison?

  1. Inflation continues to ravage the nation. How will you put an end to it?

  1. The destructive conflict between Ukraine and Russia continues to go on. How will you put an end to it if at all?

  1. China has repeatedly made threats against Taiwan, and there have been fears that China might invade Taiwan. How will you prevent this from happening?

  1. There continue to be migrants and drugs that are flowing across the southern border. What would you do to stop this from happening?

8. Jon Tester, despite being a senator from Montana, one of the most pro-gun states in America, strongly came out in favor of gun control after the Uvalde shooting. What is your opinion on gun control?

  1. Abortion has become an increasingly important issue throughout America, how will you deal with this issue

  1. Now onto more state-centered issues. The state of Montana has an enormous amount of agriculture, farms, and ranches, and the amount they make has been decreasing. How will you plan to deal with this

  1. RNG Will you agree to debate Jon Tester?

  1. RNG You are meeting with Libertarian candidate Rick Breckenridge, to see if you can convince him to drop out and endorse you.

  1. There's no way around it. Although you own a ranch in Montana, Montana is not your state of permanent residence and many view you as a carpet bagger. How do you plan to respond?

  1. Which Montana Republican would you like to go on tour with today?

  1. News has broken out about how your girlfriend, Kimberly Gilfoyle, has been fired from Fox News for sexual harassment. How do you want to do damage control?

  1. How would you like to attack Jon Tester if at all?

  1. One interesting idea that has been proposed by many Democrats is to put abortion clinics on Native American reservations, as their lands aren’t governed by the US. Montana has some of the most native reservations in the country. What are your thoughts on this?

  1. Not to talk too much about abortion, but a new bill has been proposed in the Montana State House that would criminalize pregnant Montanans for traveling out of state or out of the country to receive an abortion elsewhere. What are your thoughts on this bill?

  1. RNG. The Montana state legislature has just passed new laws banning Tribal ID cards and requiring you to present your address to vote, which Native Americans on reservations don’t have as a way to stop Native Americans, who disproportionately vote Democrat, from voting. What are your thoughts on this?

  1. You have talked about reducing the amount of money that we spend to reduce inflation. Where would you like to make cuts in spending

  1. Jon Tester has attacked you with an attack ad of you speaking with your father and Rudi Giuliani at the Save America rally on January 6th where you tell the crowd to stand up and fight as they proceed to walk towards the capital and invade it. How will you react

  1. Montana has one of the slowest internet speeds in the country due to its rural location. Would you be willing to spend government money to increase the internet speed in Montana?

  1. Do you plan to pass more laws to engage in culture wars and ban drag story hour, and critical race theory

  1. What will be your ending message as this campaign draws to a close?

  1. Where in Montana will you spend your last days campaigning
submitted by Edward2704 to thecampaigntrail [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:29 Alarmed-Custard-6369 Recurring neck swelling and thyroid nodules on right side

40F - ADHD currently taking Ritalin 10mg 2 x day, Magnesium-L Threonate and N-acetyl-cysteine. Had hip labrum replacement in July last year. Have had COVID twice in April 2022 and March 2023.
For the last 1 1/2-2 years the right side of my neck swells and it stays that way for days, weeks or even months at a time. It has gradually become longer and more frequent. At this point it always feels slightly more swollen than the other side and my jaw is less defined on that side. When it's really bad, the edge of my face will also swell, including my earlobe and even up to my temple and I get pain around the bottom of my jaw that goes up behind my ear and into my head. About a year ago I started gagging easily (especially when brushing my teeth) and choking on nothing as it feels like my throat is full and anything can set off my gag reflex. I have previously been prone to ear infections but I haven't had one for years. My mother has Graves Disease and I think there's other thyroid disorder in the family I'm just not sure what. I had a dental checkup recently that didn't find anything that would explain it. I had an ultrasound in Feb and they found nodules on my thyroid: Right lobe 4.8 x 1.6 x 1.4cm, volume 6.3ml Left lobes 4.0 x 1.8 x 1.4cm, volume 5.3ml Complex exophytic nodule extending from right isthmus 29 x 18 x 22mm, calcified lesion in mid pole 6 x 5mm. Tiny solid lesions in lower pole on the left measuring 4 & 3mm. The region of interest corresponds to the prominent edge of the right parotid gland. The right parotid gland is unremarkable. Normal appearing lymph nodules. There is a TIRADS-4 nodule on the right isthmus and the other nodules are TIRADS-2. I had a biopsy in Feb with the following results: Thyroid: Right lobe. Mid zone. Size in mm: 9.2x8.4. Echogenicity: Heterogenous. Margins: Ill-defined (Border of nodule difficult to distinguish from thyroid parenchyma in areas) . Composition: Solid (0 - <5 % cystic). Echogenic foci: Punctate (Dot-like foci with no posterior acoustic shadowing \[<1 mm\] ? Calcium, ? Hyperreflective colloid crystals) and macrocalcifications (> 1mm +/- posterior acoustic shadowing). Shape: Wider than tall. Doppler: no vascularity identified. Number of needle passes: 1. 2. Thyroid: Isthmus. Left of midline. Size in mm: 32.3x13.4 . Echogenicity: Heterogenous. Margins: Smooth (Uninterrupted. Well-defined. Curvilinear edge). Composition: Predominantly solid (Soft tissue =/> 50% of the nodule). Echogenic foci: Punctate (Dot-like foci with no posterior acoustic shadowing [<1 mm\] ? Calcium, ? Hyperreflective colloid crystals) and macrocalcifications (> 1mm +/- posterior acoustic shadowing). Shape: Wider than tall. Doppler: Vascularity is mainly lesional. Degree of vascularity: mild. Number of needle passes: 1. Remainder of thyroid: No abnormality. FINE NEEDLE ASPIRATION CYTOLOGY. Both nodules were identified and confirmed by matching with the previous images. This nodule felt focally gritty to the needle when traversed in multiple directions in a systematic fashion. The smears contain abundant thin and clumped colloid and multiple follicular epithelial fragments. The cellularity of the follicular tissue is within normal limits and a mixed pattern with a predominance of macro follicles an absence of architectural monotony is identified. There is no significant cytological atypia or architectural disarray. The microcalcification did not yield any calcific material or psammoma bodies and nuclear features of papillary carcinoma are not present. There is no lymphoplasmacytic reaction and the appearances are those of a follicular lesion with a benign pattern. The solid areas of this complex nodule were sampled in multiple directions in a systematic fashion. The smears contain abundant thin and watery colloid and multiple follicular epithelial fragments. Clumps of compact colloid are also present. The cellularity of the follicular tissue is within normal limits and a macrofollicular pattern is readily seen and there is no architectural monotony or cytological atypia. No calcific material or psammoma bodies have been aspirated and nuclear features of papillary carcinoma are not present. I had blood tests done in August 2022: TSH 1.5 mIU/L FT4 19 pmol/L FT3 5.9 pmol/L Anti-Thyroglobulin Abs (aTGI) < 1.3 IU/mL Anti-Thyroidal Peroxidase Abs 33 IU/mL My GP doesn't think I need to see a thyroid specialist but also said he didn't know how close an eye we should be keeping on the nodules. He suggested seeing an ENT specialist next as he thinks the neck swelling and the nodules could be unrelated. I just wanted to get some other opinions as I am worried, it really just doesn't feel right at all. Any advice on what it might be, what to do next or how closely the nodules should be monitored would be really helpful. Happy to answer any questions or provide ultrasound images etc. Thank you for your time.
submitted by Alarmed-Custard-6369 to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:28 2nd-account-2 32 [M4F] Brisbane, AUS / Online / Anywhere - I’m probably not going to change your life but I’ll fix your computer problems

Here’s hoping I can change your life but if not, at least you’ll get something out of it.
I’m Carter. A 32 year old guy from Australia has just moved back here after living in NYC for a few years.
When I’m not singing along (obnoxiously loudly) to songs like I Want it that Way by the Backstreet Boys, you’ll find me on a run, working out, working or watching The Office reruns. My optometrist says I should wear my glasses all the time but I do it maybe 20% of the time - if you like bad boys, I’m your guy 😉 In a constant mental struggle between putting my head down trying to climb the corporate ladder and running away to live in a log cabin in the middle of Canada.
If you’re looking for someone who can change a tyre while only getting slightly annoyed, parallel park on the first try most of the time, spells words like ‘colour’ with an a U in the correct place, is like the complete opposite of a handyman, someone who says they will grow their hair long but then get sick of it and chop it all off… then I may be your dream guy.
I am looking for someone to chat with (open to voice and video but let’s just start with good old text chats). I want to know what makes you tick. A conversation packed with sarcasm and a sprinkle of existential dread. I’m not sure exactly where this goes long term but I’d hope you stick around for more than 24 hours. I also don’t mind where you’re from - anywhere goes - I love learning what a day looks like where you are and maybe we’ll really hit it off! I just want someone I’m excited to chat to and vice versa! Bonus points if you’re also happy to talk some sense into me when I go to buy things I don’t need online.
Short term let’s distract each other from the monotony of day to day life. Bring some excitement to each other.
I find it easiest to get to know someone through people who already know them. Here’s some testimonials:
“Wouldn’t know a hard days work if it hit him in the face but boy can he fix a computer.” - Pop
“Tell your internet friends you’re a sweet and handsome young man.” - Grandma
“He’s the best. He plays games with me.” - Nephew (5)
If you’ve read this far and don’t think I’m too crazy, send a message or chat and let’s talk! Take care and stay safe.
submitted by 2nd-account-2 to R4R40Plus [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:28 blckcatGldnretriever 24 [M4F] Florida I'm autistic, you're autistic, let's get to know each other in power washing simulator?

Hey my name's Austin, nice to meet you. As mentioned above I am some level of autistic. Or some level of attention deficit but they both fall in the same category and I've been suspected of both so eh.
Anyway, I'm hoping to meet another autistic person to get to know, form a friendship and eventually/hopefully a relationship. Of course if it doesn't go that far I won't hold any hard feelings about it.
I got a job working at home so I usually respond pretty quick cause it helps pass the time and I'm bored a lot. I also just browse around here commenting in subreddits I'm interested in. Very rarely actually post anywhere though lol.
In my spare time I mostly just like to play whatever game I'm currently obsessed with, that right now being dead island 2. I also like to play halo, minecraft, monster hunter, Zelda, metroid, and a bunch of similar things like that. Some that are popular and some that I swear I'm the only one who knows they exist at all lol. I mostly play on Xbox btw.
I can also get pretty wrapped in the shows I like. Right now that would be demon slayer. I watch every episode the same day it's released and I was so into it I ended up researching all about it on Wikipedia lol. So I spoiled the ending for myself. But I don't mind, even though I know how it ends I think it's the journey that matters most. Other than that I have also been obsessed with my hero academia, attack on titan, bleach, Naruto, one piece, and some others.
I like to listen to a lot of music as well. I usually listen to the same like 3 songs for weeks on end. Right now that's Insane by black gryph0n, collapse by pixel terror and sweater weather by the neighborhood. I listen to a lot of different types of music though. Pretty much anything except most country songs and rap songs. Something about the rhythm and stuff bothers me lol.
Personality wise I like to make who I'm with happy and just have fun with them in general. I joke around a lot, I hug and kiss and touch a lot, and I like to just be together playing games or watching TV. And I also love to share new experiences with someone. A new show or movie or something neither of us has seen before something like that.
I don't really have many preferences cause most of that stuff doesn't really matter to me. I'm really just looking for someone who I like to be around, likes playing or just spending time with me and likes touch as much as I do.
If you've made it this far here's a picture of me. https://imgur.com/a/aKcqpRU chat me and let's get to know each other.
submitted by blckcatGldnretriever to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:28 2nd-account-2 32 [M4F] Brisbane, AUS / Online / Anywhere - I’m probably not going to change your life but I’ll fix your computer problems

Here’s hoping I can change your life but if not, at least you’ll get something out of it.
I’m Carter. A 32 year old guy from Australia has just moved back here after living in NYC for a few years.
When I’m not singing along (obnoxiously loudly) to songs like I Want it that Way by the Backstreet Boys, you’ll find me on a run, working out, working or watching The Office reruns. My optometrist says I should wear my glasses all the time but I do it maybe 20% of the time - if you like bad boys, I’m your guy 😉 In a constant mental struggle between putting my head down trying to climb the corporate ladder and running away to live in a log cabin in the middle of Canada.
If you’re looking for someone who can change a tyre while only getting slightly annoyed, parallel park on the first try most of the time, spells words like ‘colour’ with an a U in the correct place, is like the complete opposite of a handyman, someone who says they will grow their hair long but then get sick of it and chop it all off… then I may be your dream guy.
I am looking for someone to chat with (open to voice and video but let’s just start with good old text chats). I want to know what makes you tick. A conversation packed with sarcasm and a sprinkle of existential dread. I’m not sure exactly where this goes long term but I’d hope you stick around for more than 24 hours. I also don’t mind where you’re from - anywhere goes - I love learning what a day looks like where you are and maybe we’ll really hit it off! I just want someone I’m excited to chat to and vice versa! Bonus points if you’re also happy to talk some sense into me when I go to buy things I don’t need online.
Short term let’s distract each other from the monotony of day to day life. Bring some excitement to each other.
I find it easiest to get to know someone through people who already know them. Here’s some testimonials:
“Wouldn’t know a hard days work if it hit him in the face but boy can he fix a computer.” - Pop
“Tell your internet friends you’re a sweet and handsome young man.” - Grandma
“He’s the best. He plays games with me.” - Nephew (5)
If you’ve read this far and don’t think I’m too crazy, send a message or chat and let’s talk! Take care and stay safe.
submitted by 2nd-account-2 to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:27 Sea_You8366 >> 193704 - Emipheus Corp. Introduction & Rule Outline <<

193704 - Introduction & Rule Outline << (fwd-Ferris-Leslie-165932-04-29-2026-06:19)
Hello [name], this is Ferris, from Management. I am pleased to welcome you to facility 305, building C, ward 9. We are simply ecstatic to have you as an employee at Emipheus. Here at Emipheus, we have rules that must be followed for the safety of everyone here. Without further delay, allow me to list these rules that shall be followed throughout the day. For your convenience, these rules have specific times that have been set to match your schedule. Please, refer to this list at the correct times. Time is EXTREMELY important here at Emipheus.
(Upon arrival, between 6:30 and 7:00) When arriving at Emipheus, please enter only through the main gate. Failure to do so will result in immediate termination. This is to keep the entire company, as well as yourself, safe. Your Superiors will know if you got caught up in M.E. traffic and you will not be reprimanded for your late status.
1A - When you get in the entry line, see a timer for 30 minutes. No matter how long or short the line you must set this timer. Failure to comply will result in an…unfavorable situation.
1B - If you are still in traffic when your timer goes off, exit your vehicle. It does not matter if you’re the next person to be checked in. Leave it behind, it will be restored in your assigned parking space once you take your leave for the day. Walk up to the gate, and do not look back, nor hesitate. A man named John will be managing the mechanism. Politely show him your badge (which must remain on your person at all times while at Emipheus) and explain your situation. He will let you. Thank him and walk into the building.
1C - Do not attempt to bypass traffic using rule 1B. John, and the other employees, will know of this disturbance and will not be happy. You do not want to see John unhappy. Wait. Your. Turn.
(Entering the building). Greet our receptionists Jade, Kelsey, and Moira. Look at their name tags, ensure you know who is who. Sign in on the kiosk. Jade should greet you first, then Kelsey, and finally Moira. In the event that they do not engage in this order, act as if you left something in your car. Walk out, and tell John of the issue. Re-enter the building when he tells you to.
(When you get past Reception) Make your way up to the office. Find your desk immediately. You should be at your desk no later than 7:15. However, aim to be there by 7:00. The 15 minute grace period is only for those who got caught in traffic. The same rules apply here as 1C. Do not take advantage of the Superior’s generosity.
(7:00 - 11:30) Do your work. You will work without taking a break (unless it is an emergency, ex. bathroom or injury) until 11:30.
(11:30 - 11:59) At 11:30, begin preparing for your noon briefing. Note anything of importance. However, ensure your notes are kept near and short. If you need to talk about something extensively, the Boss can meet with you between 3:00 and 5:00. However the Boss is very busy.
(12:00 - 12:15) At 12:00, you will go to the meeting room. The entirety of Ward 9’s employees will be there aside from security. If you notice anyone missing, report it to the security personnel outside the door. They will be taken care of.
6A - If there are no security personnel, find the nearest Superior and inform them. You may black out, but you will be safe.
(12:15 - 1:15) After the briefing ends, it’s lunch time. You can eat anything you brought from home, or you can go to the cafeteria. However, do not buy a snack from the vending machine on floor 2. We don’t know why it’s there, or how it got there. What we do know is that the food will make you very, very sick.
7A - Some days, the cafeteria will serve Hamburgers. Do not eat these. We used to have [REDACTED] cows. Chances are those are what the burgers are made of. Do not eat the burgers.
(1:15 - 1:30) Lunch ends at 1:15. At this time, you are to report to Lab 827, floor 3. Remember, this job isn’t just desk work. Be in the lab, cleansed and dressed, by 1:30. Don’t worry about not knowing how or what to do, there will be a human present to instruct you on the specifics of the cleaning procedure.
(1:30 - 3:00) By now, it should be 3:00. You have two hours to get any necessary work done. Record what you did in the lab, do more paperwork, speak to the Boss, maybe go nap if you have nothing to do and know the Superiors aren’t watching (you’ll learn their tells). At 5:00, you must report to evening wrap up.
(1:30 - 3:00) Don’t fall asleep. Do not fall asleep. They will know. They will. They will hurt you. Do not sleep. Do not surrender. You will be tired. You will be exhausted. Fight them. Fight sleep. Do not lose. Do not fall asleep.
Disregard rule 10. We don’t know why it always appears. We crossed it off for your convenience.
(5:00) Listen to whatever the Boss or Superiors need to tell you, and report anything important from either Labwork or Paperwork. When finished, you are free to go, or work overtime.
(No later than 10:00) You must leave by 10:00. If you don’t, you will be removed by security personnel. It is for the best that you leave before 10:00, though, because the later it gets the more confidential the meeting going on in Room 376C becomes.
13A - Do not seek out Room 376C. If you come across it, leave immediately. Ensure you’re not seen. You will be seen regardless, but do not let any physical entities see you.
13B - Room 376C becomes increasingly agitated as the night goes on. It wants to find you. It wants you to find it. The pull will be strong. Do not let temptation bind you. If you see Room 376C, go to sleep.
13C - Do not fall asleep.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Go to sleep. Let them claim you.
(Upon leaving) Once you exit the building, find your car and drive home. Relax, and enjoy a nice night after working so hard.
If you have any questions, feel free to reply to this email!! Also, please remember just how important time is here. It is what drives our company to greatness, and what helps us survive. Be punctual, and remember that time is the single most important rule to follow. Welcome to Emipheus, I hope you can become one of our great employees and enjoy us as much as we hope to enjoy you!
Ferris Leslie, Management Do not fall asleep. This is a warning, Emipheus wants your soul. You will be a corporate slave for so much worse than a depressing desk job. Please, stay conscious. Follow the Time.
submitted by Sea_You8366 to Ruleshorror [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:26 PoisoningMe I had BPD all this time

They misdiagnosed me with schizophrenia.
I needed therapy, not a chemical lobotomy.
In fact if I could've avoided them I would've at all costs. May Allah curse them. Aameen
I wish they could take this back, because I'm never forgiving them. I'll be the bane of their existence, and on the day of judgement I'll be waiting for them.
They took my happiness away, I have many mental disorders but schizophrenia is not one of them.
How sick do you have to be? I literally told them I don't hear voices or see things. And even if I did you have no right to force medication on anyone!
submitted by PoisoningMe to Antipsychiatry [link] [comments]

2023.05.29 03:25 egglan Happy Memorial Day Everyone! Doing a knife giveaway in r/leathercraft and figured other communities can join!

Happy Memorial Day Everyone! Doing a knife giveaway in leathercraft and figured other communities can join! submitted by egglan to Bladesmith [link] [comments]