Lyrics for never walk alone

As I wake, I am consumed by fear. It is as if my whole self is made of guilt. For leaving. For leaving you.
I try to understand my new form. Fresh and fragile. A fitting vessel.
But you’re still here.
I hear you, whispering soothing words from the depths of a broken soul. Offering me comfort you cannot feel yourself.
I cling to your voice and let it guide me through the abyss. Your soft touch caresses me, reassuringly. Please, never leave me.
I am grateful.
—
Every day I feel you nurturing me with bitter tears. Tending to me, watching me incessantly, devotedly. Obsessively.
Under your care, I grow. I dig deep into the earth, find my old body, and consume it. I stretch my arms towards the sky, snaring the breeze between my fingers.
And, like me, so grows your despair, slowly taking you, devouring your strength and mocking your undying love.
Because you’re still here.
My flowers bloom pale, my fruit grows bitter. My soul aches, trapped by remorse, tormented by shame.
The feeling of your fingers gently gliding over my skin worsens my anguish. I imagine myself begging you to leave this place, to let go of the burden that I’ve become. This is not what I wanted.
As the sun casts its last rays against my body, I see you go, and weep. I know you will be back.
I am regretful.
—
I feel you gazing at me, as the unrelenting wind blows away my last leaves.
You. Again. Still here.
I see myself screaming at you, bidding you to get away from me. I dream that I hold you, but only to keep you away, cutting your skin with my fingers so you never return.
Your touch burns me. Your presence is unbearable. Your love is too painful.
Please, forget me.
I am desperate.
—
I was awakened by your embrace in the freezing night. But it was a different touch that I felt on me. Your skin had wilted, your hand grown rugged and tired.
Your voice sounded strained, defeated by time. But your love remained as strong and agonizing as ever. Despite the frailty of your tone, each tender expression pierced my soul, deepening my sorrow.
You did not stay long. I heard you walking away in the snow, slowly and with faltering steps, never looking back even once. The years had taken their toll on your body.
I know this was the last time I saw you.
I am relieved.
And I’m sorry.

Me(23M) and my couple (22F) have never sent nudes to each other in over 4 years of relationship because we are very paranoid about being hit with a ransomware attack or whatever. We have been thinking about buying an instant camera and having just physical photos but they are expensive. Are there better ways to do this? How does anyone else go about this?
I didn't find any other posts about this, sorry if it's something that gets regularly asked, also this is my first post but i come here to read advice all the time! Thanks! and sorry for bad english

Soooo here’s the story… Bare with me..
I moved to a new state almost four years ago after a six year failed relationship/split/custody agreements. I didn’t know anyone in the state other than one aunt that I hadn’t seen in years. I live in a major city and I basically had to start from ground zero career and all to get myself established.
During this time there was a business I would go to frequently because of how close it was to my house and I ended up getting to know the manager. Long story short we started seeing each other and basically spent the next two years together. He was my best friend and partner I really cared about him deeply, and he was better to me than anyone else ever had been. I must say I wasn’t the best person ever to him truthfully because of my previous separation which was a very toxic relationship adjusting to joint custody and trying to build a foundation in a new city, I wasn’t ready to settle down the way he wanted me to so I ended the relationship. It really hurt him and he didn’t want to end things but I knew that I wasn’t capable to give him what he really wanted and honestly deserved.
I stopped going to the business that he managed and went about my life. I apologized for the hurt I put him through and paid my respects he moved on and got a girlfriend. Throughout the first few months of their relationship he begged me to be with him but I denied and soon after had minimal contact for two years.
Plot twist…
My boss comes in to the office one day a couple months ago, talking about a new café that just opened up around the corner. my boss actually has me grab lunch there frequently now because the office ended up really liking it.
However unbeknownst to me, the manager of the new café is my ex. Once I realize this, I would go in grab the items that were pre-ordered. Be polite say hi and get what I needed not trying to really engage in any real contact. He would always make it a point to make sure that I had to have some type of interaction with him. For example, always being near me when I’m there and trying to spark up small talk. I can tell by the way that he goes out of his way to interact with me that he still has some type of feelings for me.
Today I went into his store and for the first time he made it very obvious that he was flirting with me to the point where he admitted that he will always like seeing me and asked me if I still think about him and asking me when will he see me again…. There has always been a chemistry between us and honestly I’ve thought about him a lot in the past couple of years.
I know this sounds terrible and I’ll probably catch shade but I can’t seem to get away from this kid. We ALWAYS somehow end up crossing paths and it’s starting to stir up some old feelings in me. 🤦🏻‍♀️
I’m not the type to intrude into someone’s relationship and I would never want to hurt someone or have anything similar happen to me vice-versa but I can’t help how I feel and I’m not sure what to do with it especially since I have to go into his business frequently due to my office and now he’s made it clear that he is still interested in me.
We went through a lot in our time together and shared so much of our lives and what we have been through as people and honestly I do really care for him but I know it’s just not right for me to care for someone who’s engaged.
I know I should tell my boss I no longer want to go into his business but another part of me has this wanting to be around him and see if there is something real behind us that I will always question myself that I missed out on..
Signed a very confused individual. 😞

So, I'm an Algerian who grew up in the country, and spent most of my life close to family. I'm currently in the United States, and it's absolutely dreadful spending Ramadan alone, away from my parents, away from the Algerian vibes of Ramadan, the tarawih with friends, the tea and the talks after that, watching things together with the family, and eating all the traditional sweets. The first day of Ramadan was so tough for me, that despite being a man, and I know I will get ridiculed for this, I cried so hard when I faced the table alone with the food, seeing nothing, and nobody around me, longing for the warmth of my family and close ones. I am managing with the cooking and all, but god damn does it feel so much like...nothing without them.
I'm sorry to whine about my situation, but I'd love to hear your stories of the first Ramadan away from home, joyful ones or sad ones.

Hey guys! I am starting a mural printing business in Peru.
In about a month, we want to make something special for the kids in Casa Hogar Juan Pablo II.
The idea is as follow:
There is a total of 64 kids in the foster house. ideally, i would like to get help from 64 of you guys so that each kid can spend time with you and express what he wants to put in the mural (a character, a scene or whatever his imagination takes him) after that, i would love to find a cool way to choose someone to put it all together.
We want to make the mural as big as physically possible.
It goes without a saying that we will not charge a dime for any of the involved costs.
I hope you guys are down, this is a very poor orphanage and this kids have probably never had someone take their time to listen to their ideas and bring them to life.
Hit me up if you want to be a part of it, and i will keep u guys updated and be sure to share the results here!

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As I wake, I am consumed by fear. It is as if my whole self is made of guilt. For leaving. For leaving you.
I try to understand my new form. Fresh and fragile. A fitting vessel.
But you’re still here.
I hear you, whispering soothing words from the depths of a broken soul. Offering me comfort you cannot feel yourself.
I cling to your voice and let it guide me through the abyss. Your soft touch caresses me, reassuringly. Please, never leave me.
I am grateful.
—
Every day I feel you nurturing me with bitter tears. Tending to me, watching me incessantly, devotedly. Obsessively.
Under your care, I grow. I dig deep into the earth, find my old body, and consume it. I stretch my arms towards the sky, snaring the breeze between my fingers.
And, like me, so grows your despair, slowly taking you, devouring your strength and mocking your undying love.
Because you’re still here.
My flowers bloom pale, my fruit grows bitter. My soul aches, trapped by remorse, tormented by shame.
The feeling of your fingers gently gliding over my skin worsens my anguish. I imagine myself begging you to leave this place, to let go of the burden that I’ve become. This is not what I wanted.
As the sun casts its last rays against my body, I see you go, and weep. I know you will be back.
I am regretful.
—
I feel you gazing at me, as the unrelenting wind blows away my last leaves.
You. Again. Still here.
I see myself screaming at you, bidding you to get away from me. I dream that I hold you, but only to keep you away, cutting your skin with my fingers so you never return.
Your touch burns me. Your presence is unbearable. Your love is too painful.
Please, forget me.
I am desperate.
—
I was awakened by your embrace in the freezing night. But it was a different touch that I felt on me. Your skin had wilted, your hand grown rugged and tired.
Your voice sounded strained, defeated by time. But your love remained as strong and agonizing as ever. Despite the frailty of your tone, each tender expression pierced my soul, deepening my sorrow.
You did not stay long. I heard you walking away in the snow, slowly and with faltering steps, never looking back even once. The years had taken their toll on your body.
I know this was the last time I saw you.
I am relieved.
And I’m sorry.

Hello there, first time here! Bf (27M) and I (23F) have been together for 1.5 years. 3-4 months of us getting to know one another our sex love had declined. I would only see him on the weekend, so it went from 1-2 times a week to once a week, once every 2 weeks now ONCE A MONTH (if I am lucky) since Jan we had sex ~4 times and we live together.
When I started noticing the decline I thought that he wasn’t attracted to me (refer to old post if you like) but he made it clear he finds me attractive. And it was his LB which he “can’t change“ and it’s “normal for us to face this type of issues in a relationship.”
But for the longest time he didn’t do anything to change. He brought me a vibrator to use when I am in the mood … His diet is horrible, never goes to the gym (Which I know can be hard and I am helping him with it) he is constantly playing vgs, smokes daily and zero lack of motivation and discipline - all of this might be the reason for LB, but he won’t listen to me when I bring this up, he gets defensive. Saying I am bringing pressure and negativity around the idea of having sex(which he isn’t wrong, I struggle with communication)
3 weeks ago after having a serious conversation of my worries of what our future sex life will look like. He finally took all of this seriously. The next day, he indicated a sincere conversation about change of doing it at least once a week on the weekend.
He said that the sex had became like a routine and boring to him. And he things we should try adding things to the bedroom. WHICH I AM ALWAYS DOWN FOR.
I am constantly sexually frustrated, deeply disappointed when he fails on his promise. Each week I hope that maybe this weekend, I might get lucky. Now I know, I am not. HAHA . So I don’t even think about it. (Just get sad and mop. )Will begin to tear up if I start talking about the emotional damage of the constant rejection I face from my own partner - its pretty much alot of the post here.
fyi: I have tried a lot things to entice him. god knows how many time I slept with my uncomfortable lingerie on at night thinking I would get some. Now I don’t even bother wearing any or putting any effort in just to get rejected.
I understand, everyone is different, relationship have ups and downs and we are suppose to be there for one another.
Also,I know it’s not me.I am ~100lbs, 5’ I get approached by men all the time whenI am out. Though I have always been insecure. Theses days I get flat out get shocked (sometimes cry after) when I get compliments due to rejections I face in the bedroom.
QUESTION: - Is there anyone out there, that stuck by their partner earlier on and seen a change. - How can I let this resentment not impact our relationship - How to not let this impact my self esteem.
Thank you for your insights.

Background

I want to write a response and correction to a previous thread of mine on this sub. I think that, in trying to emphasize a particular aspect of this phenomenon, I completely misrepresented the facts.
To understand some concepts I'm going to use, I would invite everyone to listen to this video. It's a reading of "Feeling Is The Secret" by Neville Goddard. You can obviously just get the book as well. It's only 44 pages. I think it happens to be something that works well as listening material for a 30 minute walk or drive. This is introductory material for self-initiation into the mysteries of the ancients. It outlines how one develops intent, after which the subconscious turns this intent into reality (internal reality), after which the self more or less acts automatically (still with conscious choice but an inherent limited capacity) to turn the internal reality into external reality. You may recognize its argument as being similar to popular book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, but Goddard's treatment is far more profound and detailed, and it's only getting started!
I also suggest studying archetypes. A few avenues: Carl Jung, Jordan Peterson, Tarot cards, ancient pantheons from Scandinavia to Rome to Sumer, "tree of life" myths from Scandinavia to the Jewish Kabbalah, and other similar systems. Also useful are the dualistic concepts of the Chinese Yijing (philosophy of change).
I'm going to try to put all of these together and arrive back at the original question of masculinity and the damage currently done.

The Mind

At a very early stage in one's life, the mind is whole. There are no separate archetypes — just one thing. Over time, the mind divides. At a physical level, the more obvious and significant division is the left/right hemisphere divide. At an archetypal level (symbolic psychology), it is the father / mother (or simply masculine/feminine) figures and the hero / adversary figures. I believe you can keep going with no real end. Every "figure" or archetype in the mind can be divided into two more, allowing for an infinite variety of models that the self is developed from. Within the father, you can develop the good father, the bad father, the strict but fair father, the hippie but wise father, etc. Same with the variations on the mother. I won't list out all of these variations but instead focus on the first level to really illustrate how this works.
What's actually happening here? I believe the fathemother divide isn't truly based on gender, but the genders do have a typical expertise in one or the other. Based on Goddard's description of the process from visualization to physical reality, there are two major steps: the creation of want (deciding what you want and visualizing it before bed) and the realization of want (the dream-state where the subconscious is trained on the feelings produced before bed). The creation step is the "masculine" part, which "impregnates" the subconscious with feelings to be realized. The realization step is the "feminine" part, which "births" a "new mind" (or "new life", if we are using reincarnation terminology) when you wake up. Roughly speaking, this implies the conscious part of the mind is "masculine" and the subconscious part of the mind is "feminine". I'll just say this one last time: the genderization of these parts of the mind are firstly symbolic of their role in the creation of the self, and secondly may or may not contain some truth as to how the two genders' minds work slightly differently.
The other dualistic concept is the hero / adversary. As in the Egyptian Osirian tradition, Horus (the hero) is merely a reincarnation of his father (Osiris, the father figure). Thus, the hero is merely the "newborn" conscious mind upon waking up. Given that the conscious self (the ego) can adhere to its predetermined code (from prior training in the subconscious), or it can go against that code, you naturally have a hero vs adversary contrast within the conscious mind. The adversary is simply the self which denies all assumptions, all ideals, all past truths. This is not strictly "bad", although it could be bad in some situations. More commonly, this is merely depicted as mischievousness in myth, and it is very useful, important for things like creativity.
Now, it's time to discuss where we are at as a society and what the real meaning of the memetic trends are.

The Change

The primary symbolic change in western culture is the "bad father" (or toxic masculinity). This has created a dialectic:

• Some people reject the father entirely. The participation trophies, the overprotective parenting, etc — that is acceptance of only the mother.
• Some people embrace the bad father. The "greed is good" ideology, the promoters of the Dark Triad, the growth of criminal and corrupt mindsets — that is acceptance of the bad father. If you only embrace the father, you're creating want, but you don't know how to realize it. So, the only thing that you can do if you can't dream, is that you can only see it in reality. Thus, you have a sort of physical materialism. This is where materialism comes from: acceptance of only the father (and only the senses which are consciously registered).

This leads to a diminishing amount of people who:

• Still love the father (see masculinity in a good light). This is the idea of positive masculinity, is an expression of the ideal evolutionary game theory solution, which is protective altruism colloquially called "Tit for Tat". This is an expression of a system of thought which has the capacity for forgiveness and punishment, in order to limit the tragedy of the commons in repeated games scenarios (an accurate description of human interaction).
• Embrace the mother as the father (not love the mother as the mother, but who use fatherly love to love the mother). This is the masculine idea of guidance, is a preference for outcome-based morality rather than intent-based morality. This is founded on a belief of reason — actually living according to rational thought rather than the emotional creations of the subconscious. It is the idea that you "walk the dog" rather than letting the dog walk you. You're not really adding anything to the situation if you just love the mother as the mother; randomness + randomness = more randomness.

What all of this really means is our thought processes are fundamentally limited. The "masculine" is the conscious self, the "feminine" is the subconscious. In preferring the subconscious and in turning the conscious into an anti-social beast, we are a ship lost at sea. The conscious self isn't directing the ship towards its rightful destination (truth, virtue, human goodness), and the subconscious isn't able to steer the ship alone. A full human needs both of these parts. Without both, were are in some way inhumane. Barbaric, partial humans.

Historical Origins

It's beyond the scope of this to fully describe the origins of such a cultural shift. However, I will outline a few places to look and draw a loose connection through time. This isn't meant to be a proof, but a roadmap to guide the reader for further research (with personal verification).
There were two distinct types of attacks on authority in the past 500 years.

• One was republican (I will only say this once: "republican" does not mean the Republican political party) in nature, spawning humanist and republican ideals from the Italian renaissance to the American revolution and constitution.
• The other was collectivist in nature, spawning the Reformation, Marxism, and later "cultural Marxism" (or nearly everything you identify with modernist and post-modernist thought, including its latest spawn, wokeism).

These two groups claim to have a common enemy, an authoritarian elite, but their actual philosophies differ greatly.

• Individualism is a core (but not the core) philosophy within republicanism, which is in stark contrast to collectivism. The republicans (from Plato to George Washington) believed in a natural order that must be encouraged through freedoms but tempered by the state, which must be stronger than the strongest cartels in private that would otherwise "rule" the people in a de facto sense (like we have now with state corporatism).
• Collectivism denies any inherent goodness of a natural order, striving for a sort of created equality. It argues the true natural order is equality, and this is only tainted by essentially the inherent "evilness" of humanity, or at bare minimum the negligence of humanity.

As you can see, these two views are diametrically opposed. One views the creative power of humanity as essentially good, albeit flawed. The other views the creative power of humanity as essentially bad. You can see this thoroughly in modern and post-modern art, which acts as a parody to the human condition. It is consumed as the contrived, vain laugh by the very bourgeois that it claims to oppose. This self-hating (or completely out of touch, if they don't realize their own hypocrisy) class of people rules our current society as "the establishment", "the cathedral", "the regime". They are more directly left wing, but they are thoroughly within the right wing and thus represent both choices in our false dialectic of not only our political process, but the morals of our society as a whole.
To return to our cultural shift, the "bad father" arises from an attack by the collectivist schools of thought on all of society for the sins of a small minority. One way of elucidating this is: a few men at the top did some bad things, so all men are bad. It wasn't immediately like this, however. It started with the idea of: "if some Catholic leaders are bad, then all Catholic leaders are" (Reformation). Then, "if some men are unfairly attaining higher status after birth than other men, then all men are essentially cheating themselves from this theoretical 'blank slate' of existence" (Lockean philosophy). Then, "if some corporations (or owners of capital) are out of control, then all of them are" (Marxism). On and on, into the 20th century where we saw arguments by people such as Marcuse to return to a state of primitive sexuality and by feminists to return to a state without even a concept of gender to the latest thoughts, which outright make the claim that men are the enemy of all people, particularly any men which cling to any of the older modalities.

You ever think about how the best times of your life are behind you? You'll never be able to relive the times that made you feel alive. Like really alive. So alive that you disconnect from reality, everything is nothing and nothing begins to makes sense. Being so fucked up that you have to contemplate reality and wheather or not you're actually real or not.
Nothing matters. Just getting so fucked up that you can't feel anything. Living in the moment. Escaping from your troubles at home and just forgetting what problems even are. Life is good. Home life erased, don't have to worry about hiding or keeping quiet. The only thing that matters is staying in that moment. Staying in a constant state of limbo. Euphoria. Pure bliss. Nothing else matters. Freedom. Freedom to think, to feel, freedom to BE.
I long for the days where I didn't have to feel or think or exist. Just let myself go, let my consciousness do all of the work. Disappear.
God damn I'd love to disappear. Truly. Into nothingness. Gone.

We both have mental health issues that get in the way which destroys a lot. Our communication isn’t as good as it should be. I feel like I never get my point across without being “mean”. When we communicate about things, we’re good for a few days but then it just falls back and I’m not sure how to go about things. We don’t really “spend time” together anymore so it puts a toll on things. I love her and I wanna make things better I just don’t know how. Any tips?

A day ago I helped my grandparents move furniture in and out of their home. I carried a bedframe, then a foundation. I walked a good distance with these things, but I didn't think the pain would be more than initial soreness I felt in my arms and legs. Yesterday, though, I woke up with an intense pain in my lower pack and sides, as if I had thrown my back out willingly. I don't know if carrying those things caused it or not. Noentheless, I'm looking for advice. Thanks.

This week I have been assigned to a clinical instructor who is difficult to cooperate with. I’m in a new semester now, and when we enter the ward, she needs bed baths done for every patient and the linens to be changed even though the registered staff nurses in that ward does linen changes and pampers round every 4 hours for all cubicles for all patients if they require.
But she still wants it done, and by the time we’re done, almost two hours have passed. And she doesn’t teach us anything regarding my semester’s curriculum. She chastises us and says that we’re lazy but we want to get our experience crossed and actually learn something.
Currently we are in a group of 10, 5 of us and another 5 are my juniors, meaning that they are in earlier semesters. I’m in another cubicle all the way at the back and while i was walking in the hallway, she calls my surname and in that annoying tone, says, “Your junior found a stool specimen collection while you were being lazy roaming around the ward. Until now, I have not seen you done complete nursing care. I’ve asked your junior to guide you on this procedure cause clearly as a senior, you’re not competent and lazy.”
Maam i have been all the way at the back, asking other nurses who are also busy to teach me things. In my semester, we mainly focus on iv drips, dressings and oxygen therapy, and surgical nursing. But for some reason, we’re only placed in cluster medical wards, so most of the time we don’t get to do procedures like removing sto or preparing post op bed. Only thing i can do for now is dressing, medication and care of iv drips. I shadow the nurses and follow doctor rounds and I write down reports i my log books, i have been doing the same thing since day one clinicals and have good relationships with all other instructors working with me.
But this is the first time, a CI has said that i also lack common sense and nursing knowledge.
A lot of my other seniors have complained about her not bothering to teach new lessons related to their semester’s curriculum, cause she will say things like “i won’t teach you new things, if you don’t care about the hygiene of the patient.” Even though that patient can walk, and their family members are there, she wants a literal bed bath or to wheel the patient into the showers… Even the staff nurses are upset because she keeps sticking her nose everywhere and she loudly chastises us which we get scowls from doctors and specialists doing rounds.
We complained to the head of department but no action had been taken, i don’t know how i can reach her “soft spot”…
And i don’t want to submit to her and do bed baths for 10 patients. Only clinical instructors can sign your experience book so that you can take the osce exam.
Other instructors have always been doing discussions and doing observations together so that we understand how a procedure is carried out in a clinical setting like inserting airway which we can’t do cause they keep placing us in medical wards instead of surgical.
Thank you for reading, I just don’t know what to do cause I will be working with her again next week, and that means, she’ll be doing an evaluation report on me. Cause yesterday, after she scolded me, i couldn’t take it anymore and just walked away from her after she said that a junior is more skilled than me in specimen collection. The form wasn’t even filled out properly, and was a scanned copy while i write out my specimen forms completely and do it from step 1-10 but she’s busy looking at someone else doing bed baths and assumes that i’m lazy. My junior is in that cubicle where she found that specimen, of course she has to collect it.
Thank you all again. I’m sorry for the long rant.

I guess my partner and I are going through a break up. This was completely my choice but I can’t get over the way this is happening.
My partner (dating 2 1/2 years) and I attend the same university and we’re on spring break this week. Spring break started last Friday and my partner was apparently so exhausted from working that week that he didn’t fulfill his promise of taking me out to celebrate my recent accomplishments. This is just ONE of his broken promises. So I tried to let it go and and I spent Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night at my bfs place. All of those nights we just watched Netflix and fell asleep around 9pm. My partner had known that I wanted to be doing something those nights. I like to have fun and celebrate and I haven’t gotten the chance to with how busy I am right now. I graduate college in a month and this is my last Spring break.
On Sunday we planned a picnic but it got rained out so we had to post-pone it for Monday which upset me (he knew). But instead of doing something else, we just went back to his place and watched Netflix.
On Monday, I prepare my picnic basket, a blanket, water bottles, champagne, utensils, a kite. All the cute shit for this picnic date. I hadn’t been feeling the best about my image lately (which my bf knows) so I wore the prettiest dress w boots and did my hair. The boobs were out and I truly expected my partner to drool over everything about my outfit
1pm rolls by and my partner picks me up. Once I get in the car, not a word. No kiss, no ‘high beautiful’, doesn’t even look at me. I remember wondering why he was so distant but sometimes he gets in moods like this so I just ask “what’s up?”. He explained that he wasn’t feeling good but trying to push through it. I told him earlier that morning to stay home if he wasn’t feeling good and we could save the picnic for another day. Nope, the whole car ride I’m dealing with his sighs and moans. Never looked at me once. We’re on our way to what I’m assuming is a park, but then we pull up to a big ol’ lake. OH HE WANTS TO GO FISHING. thought he felt like shit? Nope, as soon as we get to the dock, he is pulling his fishing gear out, forgetting completely about our picnic. So I said “are you going straight to fishing?” Which only annoyed him. Eventually he starts laying on his back and just grunting profusely (dramatics). Then I admitted, “this is the most pathetic date I’ve been on. You haven’t looked at me, you haven’t kissed me, and we’re now sitting here in silence for you to fish.” And I just felt so ridiculous. He gets defensive atp and I ignore it all. I fly my kite and have fun with myself until he started to lighten up and help me.
45 minutes past and we’re leaving, he’s cold, he bored, he wants to go back home. On the way home, he wanted Taco Bell. I bought him Taco Bell. We get to his place and there was a moment he gave me quick attitude, and I blew up. I told him everything that had upset me that day and the last thing I said was how upset I am over him not noticing my effort or calling me pretty. His immediate response was “boohoo!! Followed my his finger mimicking a tear down his face. So I just got up, threw my food at him and walked out of his house. After this, he took me home. I said I was done with him, he told me things about myself on the car ride home. He tried to plead his case and talk about how he took a video of me flying my kite bc it looked cute. But my issue is why the fuck couldn’t he come touch me or compliment me the whole time? This is the same person that calls me baby girl in text and NEVER in person. Same person who promised me he would take me out and celebrate,but never did. Same person who said he was going on a picnic w me but brings his fishing gear.
After he dropped me off at home, I haven’t heard from him. No text, no call. I haven’t texted or called either. Typically, it’s me sending the longs texts by now but I refuse to. He complains about my long texts when we’re in fights like this so I’m holding back. It’s basically Saturday now and nothing. 4/5ish days, No contact. This truly seems like the end of it. I’m taking grad pictures on Sunday and we were supposed to do that together. We were just looking for apartments but now that’s gonna be a solo thing for me. I’m not sure if I should text him or call him. I’m feeling like shit and I hate how my last spring break has gone. Idk if he cares or what the fuck he’s doing. I just can’t stop missing him but my feelings are always discarded by him which reminds me that I shouldn’t be missing him. What would you do?
TL/DR: I told my boyfriend on Monday that we were done. This happened because of the way he constantly discards my feelings. The broken promises, the lack of affection, the disrespect. I blew up on Monday and once he took me home that was it, no contact since.

TL:Dr Early availability spells that damage Glintstone sorcerers.
Im playing as a sorcerer for this playthrough and have the standard Glintstone pebble, quick one etc... But I'm doing basically so damage to all of the mages there.
What spells should I be looking at for this part? Never played a magic character before.
Should I have a melee option??
Pls help.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, Advice and relationships wouldn't allow my post because it contains links. Also, I'm aware that this is a gay men's sub but I think my issues would be visible to anyone who understands people. Anway, here I go:
Hi, I'm a 29 year old straight cis-gender male who has never had a wife, fiancée, or girlfriend despite having had many crushes/obsessions where I believed I was in love at the time. Every single time I put my foot out there but it ultimately doesn't work out. I have multiple theories about what might be wrong with me, most revolving around my personality (I'm 5'11" and have always been upper middle class so I don't think height or money are my problem). My looks with glasses on are below average but I've seen uglier men with girlfriends so I think the thing that is really killing me is my personality. Anyway, potential reasons I've thought of include the following:

1. I am narcissistic (but I don't have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because there are multiple symptoms of that disorder and I only have like 1 or 2 out of 6 or 7 and no psychiatrist or therapist has ever diagnosed me with it).
   
2. I am completely self-interested.
   
3. I am completely selfish (I mean I sometimes give homeless people spare cash but I just do it because it makes me feel happy).
   
4. I only care about myself and what I go through. Like sometimes on a dating app a woman will ask me how am I and I will respond saying something like "I'm in pain and depressed" and she'll be like "yikes" and unmatch me.
   
5. I briefly feel love (like when I pet my pet) and I may think I'm in love at the time (like when I have a crush), but I don't truly love others and only love myself. I've had crushes where I believed I loved them at the time but then they ghosted me and after I realized it wasn't real love.
   
6. I am exclusively obsessed with myself.
   

I don't know which of these is true, but I'm hoping someone else can look at me and my messaging with women who I've had a crush on in the past and figure it out. For example, here is an Instagram chat with a woman I was smitten with in the past. There is more info in the title and in the descriptions below the screenshots. Eventually she stops responding (she actually reads my messages and doesn't reapond like 4 or 5 times in those screenshots). In case extra back context is necessary, my first few messages ever with her are here.
I don't know if this helps you understand me better, but like my social media posts tend to focus on me rather than other people. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but for example on Instagram I saw my cousin make a story that said "Post your gf/bf, they deserve it" with a picture of his girlfriend smiling and I replied to that story with my own story with that same comment at the top and a picture of my right hand, post visible here. The song in the background of that post, "Orgy for One" by NSP is a comedy song about a guy who invites a large number of girls over for an orgy but nobody shows up so he has an "Orgy for One" with his hand. I like that song and the post is supposed to be funny and also speak my truth. I think it might also give a clue about my personality.
Another example of how my social media is kind of completely self-interested is on yesterday, Trans Day of Visibility (March 31), I posted this on Facebook:
"March 31 is #TransDayOfVisibility. To celebrate, I'm sharing my favorite trans woman and trans man social influencers.
This is Kelly. She's hot, even by completely straight man standards:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqbwk0SAlzJ/
This is Kelsy. He was actually born intersex, or with a vagina but also XY chromosomes, and transitioned from outwardly appearing female to outwardly appearing male:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cof4DczsuVs/
But yeah, trans people are valid."
I feel like if I were a "normie" Democrat who wanted to make a post for trans day of visibility I would have instead posted something like this, but this isn't how I really am:
"Happy #TransDayOfVisibility!!! Today we acknowledge all the wonderful trans people in the world and in our lives and how much they matter to us. They are beautiful and they are special and we love them ❤️❤️❤️!!!"
I dunno, that's just not how I really am but I believe people who are like that have more and better relationships than I do. Like if I posted that or acted like that it would be totally fake and out of character.
But yeah, can anyone pinpoint exactly what is wrong with me? Maybe let me know which of my theories/reasons for things not working out is most true and is my real problem?
TL;DR! No woman will fuck me or get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with me no matter how much I try, why?

It's okay if noone is interested in this but I just wanted to write about my experience with Mirtzapine.
In February 2022 I had my first really bad "I'm dying" panic attack which quickly turned into a circle of fear or not leaving the house in fear of having another panic attack.
I was super reluctant to take any antidepressants but I eventually agreed to Mirtzapine as the GP said "we give this to little old ladies to make them eat".
I was in a very bad state so was willing to try anything that eased the pain I was going through.
I found that the mirtzapine after 5/6 weeks really took the edge off so to speak and I was able to make it to therapy which was the really really helpful thing. Original my GP was convinced I had health anxiety but going through therapy we identified it wasn't this I was just having panic attacks. The therapy was by far the best thing to help me. It was really hard work but CBT did way more than any medicine.
Fast forward 9 months, I hadn't had a panic attack for a few months and decided in the new year that I'd begin to taper off.
My GP said I should do a 50% taper for 2 week then stop after another 2. However I decided to do a rough 10% at a time, wait for the side effects of the change in dose to subside and then lower dose again.
The vertigo is by far my least favourite side effect and triggers my panic. But I've found having my walking stick as balance helps a lot.
I'm hoping at this 10% taper I'll be completely off by the autumn and as much as I want off right now, I'm committed to doing it right so the panic attacks don't come back with a vengeance.
Currently I'm on 15mg on 3 days and 7.5mg on 4 days of the week. Next drop will be 15mg on 2 days and 7.5mg on 5 days etc. Not always "10%" as I can't get soluble mirztapine here to do easily measured loeer doses, I'm just chopping 15mg pills up.
TLDR: 15mg Mirtzapine helped in the short term for me but in the long term the hungover feeling and weight gain felt more of a hindrance than a help and I've decided to taper off at 10% a month. It has been rough but there are good and bad days as with any mental health issue. The worse withdrawal side effect is the vertigo but my appetite has already decreased. But looking forward to a mirztapine free life.

Hi, I’m extremely new to this hobby so sorry if these are dumb questions! I’ve been looking into purchasing bjds online, but I feel like most sites have very vague product descriptions. Idk if it’s a language barrier thing, but it’s probably just me not understanding the terminology😭
When you purchase a “full set” do you get everything that is shown in the pictures? So it would come with all the clothes, body, hands, head w faceup, wig and eyes?
For the other option “nude doll” is it just the body and head w faceup, or does it also include the wig and eyes?
Also, do clothing listings typically come with shoes? A lot of photos include shoes but it won’t specify if they are part of the outfit
Again sorry if these are stupid questions, I’ve never ordered anything bjd related before so I just wanted to make sure beforehand!!

Ok so I doubt it’s the first in years, but is definitely the first time I’ve done anything significant whilst sleep walking since I was in my teens.
I’ve started CPAP just 5 days ago. There’s been lots of waking. Just getting used to it atm. First 3 mornings I woke up so unbelievably tired.. like someone had drugged me. Was holding myself up in bed and falling asleep like that. I’ve read that its relatively normal and a sign your deep sleep deprivation is being addressed. Last 2 nights I’ve had trouble with the mask blowing raspberries out my cheeks. That has caused me to wake a lot and frequently. But who knows what stage of sleep that’s in. Never seems to take me long to get back to sleep. ANYWAY! This morning I found evidence of sleep walking activity.. I haven’t really done since I was a kid (unless I’d drank alcohol, which I quit last May). I’m wondering if this is abnormal? If anyone else has experiences?
I have not had any setup with anyone.. and have gone it alone (I’m in the Uk and the wait to get treated had gone on too long). I know this is probably naughty.
I’ve got a resmed 10 autosense Pressure is set to auto : 6-12 (just a total guess really) Ramp is set to auto I’m managing 5-6 hours a night with it on and I usually end up giving up due to the mask farting that keeps waking me. Ahi reported as 1-2 with myAir I’ve got a f20 air face mask (though there is nasal one in the post) No humidify (though there is a tank coming)

Demographics

• Gender: m
• Race/Ethnicity: latino (mexican)
• Residence: tx
• Income Bracket: >45000
• Type of School: non-competitive public
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): URM, FGLI

Intended Major(s): Philosophy
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 3.75/4.95
• Rank (or percentile): top 3%
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 15 ap classes
• Senior Year Course Load:

AP Macro, AP Gov, AP Lit, AP Physics 2, AP Calc AB/BC (school does both together)
Standardized Testing

• SAT I: 1400 (660RW, 740M) Yeah, I went test optional 😭
• AP: 5s on APUSH, Spanish Lang, Human Geo; 4s on Stats, World, English Lang.

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. Orchestra- played violin throughout all four years in the top level, was concertmaster and soloist for a couple concerts
2. Philosophy Club- started a philo club at school where we discussed important texts and topics in philosophy on a weekly basis
3. Rousseau Association- joined an org with students and professors where we meet up and discuss Rousseaus ideals (my fav philosopher) and wrote a collaborative research paper
4. Yale Young Global Scholars- Did the PLC track and took seminars and lectures that taught me a lot on approaching the humanities
5. Sunrise Movement- joined my local chapter and participated in municipal campaigns for candidates that supported environmentalist policies such as green new deal and etc.
6. Interact Rotary Club- i was in charge of gathering community service opportunities and running the social media account. We had a drive which provided local homeless shelters with over $4000 worth of hygiene products.
7. Junior World Affairs Council- lowkey brought it back from the dead and started the first Model UN program at my school through this club, also took a trip to local universities to listen to talks by professors, and competed in quiz style competitions about global affairs.
8. Cross Country- nothing special, just a jv runner
9. Independent Research- submitted three different essays/papers to journals and conferences only to be rejected :( this is where I wish I had resources for research but I never knew where to start.

Awards/Honors

1. AP scholar with distinction (ik 😭)
2. Natl Hispanic Scholar
3. Freemason Honesty and Integrity Award (idek how this happened)

Letters of Recommendation
AP Lang teacher (10/10)- allowed me to read it and I was left speechless from how good it was 😭 we are very close tho, he sponsors both the interact club and philosophy club and I used to talk about philosophy with him while waiting for my mom to pick me up.
10th grade English teacher (8/10)- basically the teacher who helped me get into philosophy, we developed a great bond and he gave me a copy of Sophies World as a parting gift :)
Orchestra Director (10/10)- ive bonded with him well while also waiting for my mom to pick me up from school 😭 we would watch tiny desk concerts together and talk about everything.
​
Interviews
Georgetown (8/10)- got off to a slow start because of my nerves but once I got into a groove the conversation went very well. Her face lit up when I asked my questions and she even said she’d do everything she could to make sure I get in because I was a “perfect fit” (yikes).
​
Essays
Personal Statement (9/10)- based off others opinions it showed my wit, character, and other personality traits while connecting my love of philosophy to running.
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• Swarthmore (RD) full ride!!!
• UT Austin (auto)

Waitlists:

• Middlebury (RD)

Rejections:

• Williams (RD)
• Georgetown (RD)
• Cornell (RD)
• Brown (RD)
• Yale (RD)
• Harvard (RD)

Additional Information:
Put my blood, sweat, and tears into my harvard, yale, and gtown essays so it stung to see those rejections :( My weakest part was for sure my grades since I had a C in AP chem and a B in Calc AB. Either way im happy to say im committed to swarthmore :))