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My parents’ drinking is ruining our relationship, how do I set boundaries with them
2023.04.01 08:52 Ok_Reason_951 My parents’ drinking is ruining our relationship, how do I set boundaries with them
I(25) love my parents. Until they drink. As a kid my sisters and I were left at home while my parents went to the bar at least twice weekly. Made me feel second best to a glass of beer. I was extremely angry as a teenager and now that I live in another town on my own I’ve made alot of progress to fix that. I’ve worked hard not to jump to anger like I used to and moving has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. But every time I visit I fall back into who I was. Now my older sister is becoming my father.
My dad (57) got his 4th dui when I was in high school and I learned to drive by taking him to the prerelease center to do breathalyzer tests daily. He didn’t go to jail thanks to his lawyer and stopped drinking for over a year. It was the proudest I’d ever been of my dad, he fucked up and almost ruined us but quit and fixed himself. But he’s back to drinking now and it’s heartbreaking.
My mom (56) drinks a lot too, although she is better than my dad at not getting plastered every time they go out she still drinks a lot and I’m sure she drives drunk despite everything. If I ask them to slow down or plan a way home they never do. It always falls onto me to figure it out.
The spark that’s making me write this my grandpas funeral. My dad is dealing with it by taking it out on us and drinking. He’s making rude comments to me when I try to stand up for myself or my mom. I got to the point where I left my grandpas memorial party, got my bags and checked into a hotel. Texted them I was staying at a hotel and he said “good” back. I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know what to do.
I love my parents until they drink. I need to set boundaries I know that but I don’t know how. What do I say? Should I wait considering my dad is grieving? Do I cut them off until they get it together?
submitted by Ok_Reason_951 to Advice [link] [comments]
My dad (57) got his 4th dui when I was in high school and I learned to drive by taking him to the prerelease center to do breathalyzer tests daily. He didn’t go to jail thanks to his lawyer and stopped drinking for over a year. It was the proudest I’d ever been of my dad, he fucked up and almost ruined us but quit and fixed himself. But he’s back to drinking now and it’s heartbreaking.
My mom (56) drinks a lot too, although she is better than my dad at not getting plastered every time they go out she still drinks a lot and I’m sure she drives drunk despite everything. If I ask them to slow down or plan a way home they never do. It always falls onto me to figure it out.
The spark that’s making me write this my grandpas funeral. My dad is dealing with it by taking it out on us and drinking. He’s making rude comments to me when I try to stand up for myself or my mom. I got to the point where I left my grandpas memorial party, got my bags and checked into a hotel. Texted them I was staying at a hotel and he said “good” back. I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know what to do.
I love my parents until they drink. I need to set boundaries I know that but I don’t know how. What do I say? Should I wait considering my dad is grieving? Do I cut them off until they get it together?
2023.04.01 08:34 M3tal_Shadowhunter I'm so, so grateful for my boyfriend - but I feel so guilty at the same time.
He's perfect. He's sweet, loving, smart, funny, attractive... And he knows how to cheer me up whenever something goes wrong.
Last night while on a date with my boyfriend i got a phone call from my expwbpd's mother - ny former best friend had jumped in front of a train and was home, safe, almost unhurt, but was screaming at everyone and apparently, i was the only one who could calm her down. I stayed on the call, eventually she did calm down...
But i was miserable the rest of the day. I was emotionally withdrawn and almost absent. My boyfriend, god bless him, picked up on it and we cut the date short, going back to my place and just cuddling for a while.
I wish I didn't have this baggage. He deserves a girlfriend that doesn't get pulled away like this. Someone who isn't burnt out.
I love him. But I'm so scared that my past toxic friendship is going to end up hurting him somehow.
I haven't been able to get that out of my mind since it happened last night
submitted by M3tal_Shadowhunter to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
Last night while on a date with my boyfriend i got a phone call from my expwbpd's mother - ny former best friend had jumped in front of a train and was home, safe, almost unhurt, but was screaming at everyone and apparently, i was the only one who could calm her down. I stayed on the call, eventually she did calm down...
But i was miserable the rest of the day. I was emotionally withdrawn and almost absent. My boyfriend, god bless him, picked up on it and we cut the date short, going back to my place and just cuddling for a while.
I wish I didn't have this baggage. He deserves a girlfriend that doesn't get pulled away like this. Someone who isn't burnt out.
I love him. But I'm so scared that my past toxic friendship is going to end up hurting him somehow.
I haven't been able to get that out of my mind since it happened last night
2023.04.01 07:47 oldboothby My coworker's elderly mother cosigned for my coworker's house - what happens if/when the mother goes to an assisted living facility?
My coworker's elder mother cosigned for my coworker so she could get her house a few years back and recently her mother's health took a turn for the worst (suffered a stroke). It's looking more and more like she'll have to be moved to a nursing home. My coworker is worried about the state filing a claim since her mother cosigned and I'm hoping someone here has some experience in this area and can offer some guidance. State is NY.
submitted by oldboothby to legaladvice [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 07:32 crxftscar TYLER THE CREATOR TRILOGY LORE BASTARD, WOLF, GOBLIN
before this starts, credit to @theelderscrolls for the information. This is the summarization of their concept of it but i thought it would helpful to shorten some things.
BASTARD, WOLF, GOBLIN OVERVIEW
BASTARD tyler sees himself as a “bastard” tron cat, his conscious interviews him as a therapist with 3 sessions 3 days in a row (tyler can’t take the sadness of his dad and tyler ends up killing the bastard side of him)
there’s this, but there’s also a different theory at the end of this song.
or wanting to kill himself bc he’s a bastard and in the end he says bang to khs but he can’t.
GOBLIN now tyler has turned into goblin, In the first song of goblin, tron cat says “You wouldn’t do that tyler, kill yourself or anyone, u don’t have the balls to begin with what you need is me, someone to talk to”
at the end of this song, dr TC says “how was ur trip to ny” next track is yonkers, city in new york.
YONKERS tyler’s evil white alter ego is wolf haley
he fights this alter ego (Tyler wanted his nickname to be Wolf, and wanted to change his last name to Haley cause his father left him and he didn't want his last name)
wolf is cool and a good rapper, tyler wants to get rid of him
tyler kills himself and wolf is forced to kill himself too bc he’s an alter ego
ace is tyler’s braver alpha male ego “fuck a noose, ace is brave enough to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger to get rid of Wolf Haley".
NIGHTMARE
tyler has a messed up voice telling him to all this stuff
he admits this to dr tron cat his therapist, and gets asked by tron who is it telling him to do this stuff, and he says his name is tron cat.
BITCH SUCK DICK
tyler kills taco and jasper in the end
WINDOW
dr tc says “brought friends to talk to u but couldn’t find taco and jasper”
in the end of window ty kills mike g, domo genisis, and frank ocean bc of tron cat
hodgy beats is the only one left and he kills him
dr TC comes in and makes him give him the gun and then comforts tyler
AU79
instrumental to ease the sorrow of all of the crazy stuff that happened gold is the atomic number
GOLDEN
(a ref to au79) dr TC tells tyler he has problems bc of his rape fantasy, killing friends and dark tones of goblin
he says tron isn’t helping him and goes psycho
then he raps ab him and the gun getting married meaning he’s gonna shot himself
tyler said nobody cared but tron cat said he did and said tyler’s been helping himself the whole time and that his friends are fake
therapist says tyler IS all his alter egos then album ends showing all were parts of his conscience and his friends weren’t real
Today (Bastard), tomorrow (Goblin) and The next day (Wolf).
WOLF ALBUM
WOLF
sam plays piano in the start
the camp counselor Tron cat says sams music is good
sam and wolf/tyler meet
Tron Cat then leaves and sam starts being mean to wolf even though wolf is being nice
at the end sam says “look, wolf, prairie dog, whatever the fuck your name is. You stay the fuck out of our way and we'll stay out of yours, capisce?"
JAMBA
just wolf rapping with hodgy
at the end hodgy says here comes weak sam
COWBOY
cowboy is by sam salem is sams gf at camp slater is his bike
sam tells wolf to stay away from salem
AWKWARD
this is about when sam and Salem first meet
SLATER
a few tracks later, this is ab sams bike
48
ab sams crack buisness in 48 lower states he feels bad ab selling and ruining ppl life but he needed money
PARTY ISNT OVER, CAMPFIRE, BIMMER
party isn’t over, is wolf telling salem to date him bc he knows she doesnt like sam
campfire is everyone happy at camp with a campfire
bimmer is wolf and salem by the lake and sam gets mad
IFHY
sam confronting his gf salem bc he finds out her and wolf have been seeing each other
end of song wolf and salem talk
he asks salem why sams a dick and she says bc stuff happened at home then he ran away, wolf is still confused and he asks what happened
PIGS
sam talks ab killing a kid who bullied him and that’s why he’s at camp
PARKING LOT
sam and his crew the loiter squad were gonna kill wolf
wolf says not if i get to him first
RUSTY
sam and his crew kill earl hoping to scare wolf away from salem
TAMALE
wolf was doing some unholy things by himself.. and he got caught and taken to office
LONE
what happens after tamale
counselor Tron Cat asks what happened he talks to counselor tron cat ab his grandma dying
TC at end says sammy was looking for him
and wolf says he would kill him if he saw him
this is the end of the wolf album
———————————————————————
Remember the very first song on the first album, goblin? Titled “Goblin”? “Therapist” Tron Cat says “You wouldn’t do that tyler, kill yourself or anyone, u don’t have the balls to begin with what you need is me, someone to talk to”
The last song on the second album, Wolf the conversation between “Counselor” Tron Cat says “have you seen sammy he was looking for you”
Wolf/tyler says “Eff that samuel”
Tron says “uhh have u seen him”
Wolf/Tyler says “nah but if i seen him i would’ve killed him”
This is why some believe the Wolf album comes before Goblin; even though the release dates were opposite.
Bastard>wolf>goblin>sam is dead
In Bastard, Tyler talks to TC about hating dad, and contemplates suicide but gets over it. Wolf sent to Camp as a vacation from what happened
in wolf he describes trouble with sam bc he’s flirting with salem and says in end he would kill him if he saw him
in goblin TC says u wouldn’t have the balls and it fits
earl dies in rusty that’s why he wasn’t in goblin
end of Goblin, Tyler kills all of his friends and goes pretty much insane, leading to him finally killing Sam. In the music video, After Sam is killed, you see his dead body laying in a pile with other dead OF crew members who were killed in Goblin.
submitted by crxftscar to tylerthecreator [link] [comments]
BASTARD, WOLF, GOBLIN OVERVIEW
BASTARD tyler sees himself as a “bastard” tron cat, his conscious interviews him as a therapist with 3 sessions 3 days in a row (tyler can’t take the sadness of his dad and tyler ends up killing the bastard side of him)
there’s this, but there’s also a different theory at the end of this song.
or wanting to kill himself bc he’s a bastard and in the end he says bang to khs but he can’t.
GOBLIN now tyler has turned into goblin, In the first song of goblin, tron cat says “You wouldn’t do that tyler, kill yourself or anyone, u don’t have the balls to begin with what you need is me, someone to talk to”
at the end of this song, dr TC says “how was ur trip to ny” next track is yonkers, city in new york.
YONKERS tyler’s evil white alter ego is wolf haley
he fights this alter ego (Tyler wanted his nickname to be Wolf, and wanted to change his last name to Haley cause his father left him and he didn't want his last name)
wolf is cool and a good rapper, tyler wants to get rid of him
tyler kills himself and wolf is forced to kill himself too bc he’s an alter ego
ace is tyler’s braver alpha male ego “fuck a noose, ace is brave enough to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger to get rid of Wolf Haley".
NIGHTMARE
tyler has a messed up voice telling him to all this stuff
he admits this to dr tron cat his therapist, and gets asked by tron who is it telling him to do this stuff, and he says his name is tron cat.
BITCH SUCK DICK
tyler kills taco and jasper in the end
WINDOW
dr tc says “brought friends to talk to u but couldn’t find taco and jasper”
in the end of window ty kills mike g, domo genisis, and frank ocean bc of tron cat
hodgy beats is the only one left and he kills him
dr TC comes in and makes him give him the gun and then comforts tyler
AU79
instrumental to ease the sorrow of all of the crazy stuff that happened gold is the atomic number
GOLDEN
(a ref to au79) dr TC tells tyler he has problems bc of his rape fantasy, killing friends and dark tones of goblin
he says tron isn’t helping him and goes psycho
then he raps ab him and the gun getting married meaning he’s gonna shot himself
tyler said nobody cared but tron cat said he did and said tyler’s been helping himself the whole time and that his friends are fake
therapist says tyler IS all his alter egos then album ends showing all were parts of his conscience and his friends weren’t real
Today (Bastard), tomorrow (Goblin) and The next day (Wolf).
WOLF ALBUM
WOLF
sam plays piano in the start
the camp counselor Tron cat says sams music is good
sam and wolf/tyler meet
Tron Cat then leaves and sam starts being mean to wolf even though wolf is being nice
at the end sam says “look, wolf, prairie dog, whatever the fuck your name is. You stay the fuck out of our way and we'll stay out of yours, capisce?"
JAMBA
just wolf rapping with hodgy
at the end hodgy says here comes weak sam
COWBOY
cowboy is by sam salem is sams gf at camp slater is his bike
sam tells wolf to stay away from salem
AWKWARD
this is about when sam and Salem first meet
SLATER
a few tracks later, this is ab sams bike
48
ab sams crack buisness in 48 lower states he feels bad ab selling and ruining ppl life but he needed money
PARTY ISNT OVER, CAMPFIRE, BIMMER
party isn’t over, is wolf telling salem to date him bc he knows she doesnt like sam
campfire is everyone happy at camp with a campfire
bimmer is wolf and salem by the lake and sam gets mad
IFHY
sam confronting his gf salem bc he finds out her and wolf have been seeing each other
end of song wolf and salem talk
he asks salem why sams a dick and she says bc stuff happened at home then he ran away, wolf is still confused and he asks what happened
PIGS
sam talks ab killing a kid who bullied him and that’s why he’s at camp
PARKING LOT
sam and his crew the loiter squad were gonna kill wolf
wolf says not if i get to him first
RUSTY
sam and his crew kill earl hoping to scare wolf away from salem
TAMALE
wolf was doing some unholy things by himself.. and he got caught and taken to office
LONE
what happens after tamale
counselor Tron Cat asks what happened he talks to counselor tron cat ab his grandma dying
TC at end says sammy was looking for him
and wolf says he would kill him if he saw him
this is the end of the wolf album
———————————————————————
Remember the very first song on the first album, goblin? Titled “Goblin”? “Therapist” Tron Cat says “You wouldn’t do that tyler, kill yourself or anyone, u don’t have the balls to begin with what you need is me, someone to talk to”
The last song on the second album, Wolf the conversation between “Counselor” Tron Cat says “have you seen sammy he was looking for you”
Wolf/tyler says “Eff that samuel”
Tron says “uhh have u seen him”
Wolf/Tyler says “nah but if i seen him i would’ve killed him”
This is why some believe the Wolf album comes before Goblin; even though the release dates were opposite.
Bastard>wolf>goblin>sam is dead
In Bastard, Tyler talks to TC about hating dad, and contemplates suicide but gets over it. Wolf sent to Camp as a vacation from what happened
in wolf he describes trouble with sam bc he’s flirting with salem and says in end he would kill him if he saw him
in goblin TC says u wouldn’t have the balls and it fits
earl dies in rusty that’s why he wasn’t in goblin
end of Goblin, Tyler kills all of his friends and goes pretty much insane, leading to him finally killing Sam. In the music video, After Sam is killed, you see his dead body laying in a pile with other dead OF crew members who were killed in Goblin.
2023.04.01 07:22 WHEREDALORDIS please help me to get the point , only 2 more people please ❤️ 🙏
please help
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u will get this > Take home 20% OFF voucher 📷 Knock, knock 📷 20% OFF voucher is waiting for you! Accept the invitation to secure your discount 📷 https://api-shein.shein.com/h5/game/invite/game-44slashtowin/friend-help?site_uid=iosshth&language=en&inviteCode=fc8634cdfa6e62094bd830cd1ac0efd9&channel=Copy Link
2023.04.01 07:12 RevolutionaryElk8006 need transferring advice after failing out
Hey guys, I did two years at an out of state huge party school, where I at the end of those 2 years, Had a 1.9, and only 37 credits. I decided to Transfer to a local CC at home and get my shit together. I am doing well. Just finished a 18 credit fall semester with a 3.00 all classes in my major (finance). I am going to do another 18 credit semester and then transfer. If I do well I will have a 3.5 with 60 credits. What type of schools can I apply to. I want a school in the state I would live in post college (Florida, NY) My father wants me to try to get in UF, or University of Miami, USF, NYU, Fordham. But even with a good year at community college, I do not know how much my first two years failing out at a big party school is gonna impact my admissions at a great school like those listed above. What do you guys think? Can I get into those types of schools, will my 1 good year at CC make up for a bad past? What can I do to get into schools like Miami and NYU? Covid also had a big affect me during that time. I have good high schools grades, not only did I do well at community but I took a job in sales, and got real professional work experience, I am also a first generation college minority student. What do you think do I have a shot?
submitted by RevolutionaryElk8006 to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
2023.04.01 07:07 krlab1444 Adding a metal building to lot
 | Hi, submitted by krlab1444 to Home [link] [comments] I have a home in NY USA with an acre lot, my backyard has land space. I am need of extra space for a workshop. I'm thinking of adding a metal building at my back yard for this workshop. Would adding this non-livable metal building to my lot significantly increase property tax? This metal building looks like this: https://preview.redd.it/i1qtaw9kf7ra1.png?width=902&format=png&auto=webp&s=d953291bed96b823d9496e9d10781f94573ef58a |
2023.04.01 07:05 asaharyev Matchday Thread 4/1
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| Chattanooga FC | Gold Star FC Detroit | 3:00 PM | Eleven Sports |
| Maryland Bobcats FC | Flower City Union | 7:00 PM | Eleven Sports |
| Savannah Clovers FC | Michigan Stars FC | 7:00 PM | Eleven Sports |
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2023.04.01 06:48 BatIcy3765 Insurance nonsense
My wife's job usually insures us. Her current job doesn't have any benefits. I run some small businesses from home and two are eligible to provide insurance, but the cost is more than I earn.
Here in NJ we have our new marketplace the Governor just put into effect this year. I tried to get insurance through it, but found out I was on Medicaid but not really active. Medicaid ends for us 4/30/23 then I have to go back to the Marketplace.
I don't know how it is by you but specialists book months out here in NJ (and nearby NY). I can't book anything now because my insurance will end before I get the appointment. I have no idea what my insurance will be once I am back to the Marketplace. BTW, I still don't even have my Medicaid information and I'm sure it will end before I even get it.
I have a pain management appointment in July based on insurance I had previously. I have some other appointments in August and September too based on it. It is just I don't have a Neurologist or anything like that lined up. I don't even know if my next insurance will be good at the appointments coming. The pain management guy (who former Governor Christie's wife sees as a patient) charges $2400 for the first visit with no insurance.
I've been going to free clinic, but the place is like an all in one with everyone doing everything and no specialists.
Once I get a new insurance next month, I know it will be at least 6 months to get an appointment with some places. Well, through the Marketplace my insurance might change again in January. It just depends what the state keeps and let's go. Then I can be starting over yet again.
We need to do better with health insurance in this country. There has to be something better than the way it is now.
submitted by BatIcy3765 to MultipleSclerosis [link] [comments]
Here in NJ we have our new marketplace the Governor just put into effect this year. I tried to get insurance through it, but found out I was on Medicaid but not really active. Medicaid ends for us 4/30/23 then I have to go back to the Marketplace.
I don't know how it is by you but specialists book months out here in NJ (and nearby NY). I can't book anything now because my insurance will end before I get the appointment. I have no idea what my insurance will be once I am back to the Marketplace. BTW, I still don't even have my Medicaid information and I'm sure it will end before I even get it.
I have a pain management appointment in July based on insurance I had previously. I have some other appointments in August and September too based on it. It is just I don't have a Neurologist or anything like that lined up. I don't even know if my next insurance will be good at the appointments coming. The pain management guy (who former Governor Christie's wife sees as a patient) charges $2400 for the first visit with no insurance.
I've been going to free clinic, but the place is like an all in one with everyone doing everything and no specialists.
Once I get a new insurance next month, I know it will be at least 6 months to get an appointment with some places. Well, through the Marketplace my insurance might change again in January. It just depends what the state keeps and let's go. Then I can be starting over yet again.
We need to do better with health insurance in this country. There has to be something better than the way it is now.
2023.04.01 06:47 WHEREDALORDIS could some help me by clicking Help please 🙏
just only two more people please help 🙏
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submitted by WHEREDALORDIS to SHEIN_ [link] [comments]
u will get this > Take home 20% OFF voucher 📷 Knock, knock 📷 20% OFF voucher is waiting for you! Accept the invitation to secure your discount 📷 https://api-shein.shein.com/h5/game/invite/game-44slashtowin/friend-help?site_uid=iosshth&language=en&inviteCode=fc8634cdfa6e62094bd830cd1ac0efd9&channel=Copy Link
2023.04.01 06:46 FinlandBall1939 Ummmm what is happening in my area tomorrow…. Why 5% tornado? :(
 | submitted by FinlandBall1939 to tornado [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 06:44 FinlandBall1939 I live in Ocean County New Jersey. Wtf is going to happen here tomorrow?!?! Why tornado? D:
 | submitted by FinlandBall1939 to weather [link] [comments] |
2023.04.01 06:41 PrickyOneil March has been “Concussion Awareness Month“. In closing, I thought I’d share my story of living with probable Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE)
Yeah I put this off until the last minute, I’ve had enormous difficulty communicating all my life so please bear with me. I don’t think one person knows this whole story but I realize it’s time I find a way to let my voice be heard. Hopefully it’s come together well enough after a week of working on it...
I was the kid that won all the first place trophies and held all the records on track and field day in kindergarten. Always outside doing whatever adrenaline pumping activity I could get myself into. From early on my parents recognized that I needed an environment that team competitive sports provides. Justifiably so, I would never trade the life lessons earned while playing American football for those read in a class room.
I suited up for the gridiron at 7 years old. I was padded from the toes up and it felt incredible, like I was a tank! The coaches loved me, I was short and stout, quick, sharp and fearless. It didn’t take long before I was playing on both sides of the ball, as running back on offense, safety on defense and returner on kickoffs. I was on the field the whole game. The attention as a team leader was intoxicating, it hooked me for life. I suffered my first on field concussion the following year.
It was the first game of the season, the bleachers seemed packed. Near the beginning of the game, playing as free safety, I see my opportunity to not let the team down. The ball gets handed off to their running back, a smaller guy like me, bursts around the mass of blockers to the outside and lights a fire down the sideline. Nothing between him and the touchdown, I project myself into his path and charge ahead like a game of chicken. Littler dude gets even lower than me, his helmet hitting me square in the diaphragm, lifts me clean off the ground and runs through me as though I wasn’t there. I land on my back, head hits the grass. Next thing I know I’m being lifted into an ambulance after being carried off the field on a stretcher. This was my first year of full contact play after a season of flag football and I clearly had not yet grasped the differences. I was in 2nd grade.
As I was enrolled in speech and hearing therapy at school, coaches began teaching me to get over that big hit by hitting the next kid even harder. I began to yearn the brutality of the game even as I took more punishment. The cycle was vicious. Looking back it really seems as though the coaches had some other agenda or issue that fed the aggression. We were coached to lead with our heads because shoulder pads were far too small proportionately and they’d make fun of us after a game if we couldn’t count multiple paint streaks embedded into the plastic on our helmets. Those paint marks were made by helmet to helmet contact, the more impactful the hit, the greater your “trophy”. Some kids earned more trophies than I and it pissed me off so I’d hit harder. They’d line us up one-on-one and tell us to knock the other guy off his feet if we wanted to play in the next game. I couldn’t begin to count the times I was laid out left counting the birds flying over my head in practice alone. Guys would go down every night, coaches laughing, “Aww get him some gatorade, he’s fine. Sit out 10 minutes and get back in here little guy.” I went on to play another 5 years in mostly the same positions until one day, after a difficult practice and a conversation with a close teammate, we dropped our pads and never looked back. But the damage had been done, my path had already been irrevocably set.
After that first on field concussion in 2nd grade, I went on to endure countless concussions over the next 7 years, first from football, then bike riding, fighting and skateboarding. It seemed after a few days of balance issues, blurry vision or headaches, I had no lingering problems and follow-up medical care was nonexistent at the time. It would be easier to recount the couple dozen times I was knocked unconscious, including one that kept me in the hospital for a week. I was so harebrained by high school, I attempted my fourth day of ninth grade black out drunk. The next day I was allowed back on campus I got busted with a joint. At 14, I ran away from home and made it 800 miles before being picked up by cops while breaking into cars for spare change. I was headed for Colorado to build a cabin. Wtf did I know about any of that? And I nearly made it. I quit school, 8th grade was my last year of formal education. Would wonder around the city drinking or smoking anything I could get a hold of. I’d go skateboarding atop some of the tallest buildings in Atlanta or scoot around the woods on an ATV while blindly firing my buddy’s .44 into the air. I shouldn’t have lived through it all, I have dear friends that didn’t. But at 15 I had an epiphany (thanks to LSD), packed a box and moved 400 miles away from everything and everyone. I was somehow able to hit the reset button and leave that volatile part of my life behind and spend the next several years recovering from the constant brain trauma.
Fast forward a few decades and what I’m left with is an inability to manage my life beyond today, I’ve been stuck in flight or fight mode ever since and I’m exhausted with looking over my shoulder. I’m feeling the effects of early onset dementia as I type this and I’m actually scared for the first time in my life. My days have moved beyond forgetting where I put my keys to nearly burning the house down when I run to the store forgetting that I was in the middle of cooking. I haven’t driven a vehicle in years because I’m scared I’ll hurt someone in a fit of road rage or forget why I left home in the first place. The few hours of sleep I may get is the only way to escape the screaming in between my ears and it makes rolling out of bed all the more difficult. I’ve lived in 27 different homes yet never owned my own. It’s been a rarity to hold a job or relationship more than a couple of years and have no savings for retirement. I’ve all but given up friendships and not had a meaningful conversation with my kids in years and I can’t blame them at all. I think about them all day and it hurts beyond words knowing that I’m the asshole and they’re better off without me around much. Have a talk with the person sitting next to you when your only available emotion is anger and see how many more conversations they willingly have with you. Imagine that being your dad. It’s as if there’s a switch that’s never been flipped and I’m incapable of appropriately expressing emotions in the moment. I really don’t mean to be the prick, I simply can’t help it. But I’ll never let you see the side of me cowering in the bathroom bawling my eyes out once I have time to reflect.
I’m 48 years young now and launching a new mission in life, to help educate those on how it takes a community to provide a safe environment for our children. Not one person has all the right answers and alone we fail. Whether it be coaches, school administrators, parents or the medical field, the system failed me. I would never advocate to end youth football, but why does it need to be combative? Too many have tragically lost their voices without even knowing football damaged their brains. The year I fell in love with the game was the year I played low-contact flag football, it becomes something else entirely when you start hitting each other.
It’s time to ban youth tackle football. Is it radical, yes. So were seatbelts and smoking bans.
Converting youth football to a flag system is the only remaining viable solution to making football safer for our kids. CA and NY have recently submitted proposals, it’s time lawmakers in other states step forward. The NFL’s most recent Pro Bowl gave flag rules a shot, the fans and players enjoyed it so much it’s here to stay. If the NFL gets its proposal to the 2028 Olympic Games approved, it will be no-contact flag football rules as well. If future iterations of the game are evolving to keep adult players safe, when will youth sports follow? Why aren’t kids more protected and supported when less than 1% of them will go on to play in the NFL?
Stay strong and Stop Hitting Kids in the Head; https://concussionfoundation.org/stop-hitting-kids-in-the-head
FYI; I have a difficult time living in the moment so give me a few days and I’ll do my best to circle back around to this post. Know that I appreciate all of you at cte for coming along on this journey of discovery with me. I am not the best at providing emotional support either but know that I look forward to getting us to a place where we can all be there more for each other. I’m thinking of you when I post and I will continue sharing my research along the way, please share yours and know that you are safe here.
Additional links;
Age of first exposure to tackle football and years played associated with less white matter in brain; https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-03-age-exposure-tackle-football-years.html
Three or more concussions add up to long-term cognitive problems; https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/jan/31/three-or-more-concussions-add-up-to-long-term-cognitive-problems-study-suggests
CTE Center Director Ann McKee says the NFL ignores the risks of repetitive blows to the head and that it’s “foolish” to think the league will police itself; https://www.bu.edu/articles/2023/bu-finds-cte-in-nearly-92-percent-of-former-nfl-players-studied/
How Psychedelic Therapy Can Help Treat Brain Injury; https://www.psychedelicpassage.com/how-psychedelic-therapy-can-help-treat-brain-injury/
Before You Let Your Kids Play Football, Read This; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/play-in-mind/202301/before-you-let-your-kids-play-football-read-this
submitted by PrickyOneil to CTE [link] [comments]
I was the kid that won all the first place trophies and held all the records on track and field day in kindergarten. Always outside doing whatever adrenaline pumping activity I could get myself into. From early on my parents recognized that I needed an environment that team competitive sports provides. Justifiably so, I would never trade the life lessons earned while playing American football for those read in a class room.
I suited up for the gridiron at 7 years old. I was padded from the toes up and it felt incredible, like I was a tank! The coaches loved me, I was short and stout, quick, sharp and fearless. It didn’t take long before I was playing on both sides of the ball, as running back on offense, safety on defense and returner on kickoffs. I was on the field the whole game. The attention as a team leader was intoxicating, it hooked me for life. I suffered my first on field concussion the following year.
It was the first game of the season, the bleachers seemed packed. Near the beginning of the game, playing as free safety, I see my opportunity to not let the team down. The ball gets handed off to their running back, a smaller guy like me, bursts around the mass of blockers to the outside and lights a fire down the sideline. Nothing between him and the touchdown, I project myself into his path and charge ahead like a game of chicken. Littler dude gets even lower than me, his helmet hitting me square in the diaphragm, lifts me clean off the ground and runs through me as though I wasn’t there. I land on my back, head hits the grass. Next thing I know I’m being lifted into an ambulance after being carried off the field on a stretcher. This was my first year of full contact play after a season of flag football and I clearly had not yet grasped the differences. I was in 2nd grade.
As I was enrolled in speech and hearing therapy at school, coaches began teaching me to get over that big hit by hitting the next kid even harder. I began to yearn the brutality of the game even as I took more punishment. The cycle was vicious. Looking back it really seems as though the coaches had some other agenda or issue that fed the aggression. We were coached to lead with our heads because shoulder pads were far too small proportionately and they’d make fun of us after a game if we couldn’t count multiple paint streaks embedded into the plastic on our helmets. Those paint marks were made by helmet to helmet contact, the more impactful the hit, the greater your “trophy”. Some kids earned more trophies than I and it pissed me off so I’d hit harder. They’d line us up one-on-one and tell us to knock the other guy off his feet if we wanted to play in the next game. I couldn’t begin to count the times I was laid out left counting the birds flying over my head in practice alone. Guys would go down every night, coaches laughing, “Aww get him some gatorade, he’s fine. Sit out 10 minutes and get back in here little guy.” I went on to play another 5 years in mostly the same positions until one day, after a difficult practice and a conversation with a close teammate, we dropped our pads and never looked back. But the damage had been done, my path had already been irrevocably set.
After that first on field concussion in 2nd grade, I went on to endure countless concussions over the next 7 years, first from football, then bike riding, fighting and skateboarding. It seemed after a few days of balance issues, blurry vision or headaches, I had no lingering problems and follow-up medical care was nonexistent at the time. It would be easier to recount the couple dozen times I was knocked unconscious, including one that kept me in the hospital for a week. I was so harebrained by high school, I attempted my fourth day of ninth grade black out drunk. The next day I was allowed back on campus I got busted with a joint. At 14, I ran away from home and made it 800 miles before being picked up by cops while breaking into cars for spare change. I was headed for Colorado to build a cabin. Wtf did I know about any of that? And I nearly made it. I quit school, 8th grade was my last year of formal education. Would wonder around the city drinking or smoking anything I could get a hold of. I’d go skateboarding atop some of the tallest buildings in Atlanta or scoot around the woods on an ATV while blindly firing my buddy’s .44 into the air. I shouldn’t have lived through it all, I have dear friends that didn’t. But at 15 I had an epiphany (thanks to LSD), packed a box and moved 400 miles away from everything and everyone. I was somehow able to hit the reset button and leave that volatile part of my life behind and spend the next several years recovering from the constant brain trauma.
Fast forward a few decades and what I’m left with is an inability to manage my life beyond today, I’ve been stuck in flight or fight mode ever since and I’m exhausted with looking over my shoulder. I’m feeling the effects of early onset dementia as I type this and I’m actually scared for the first time in my life. My days have moved beyond forgetting where I put my keys to nearly burning the house down when I run to the store forgetting that I was in the middle of cooking. I haven’t driven a vehicle in years because I’m scared I’ll hurt someone in a fit of road rage or forget why I left home in the first place. The few hours of sleep I may get is the only way to escape the screaming in between my ears and it makes rolling out of bed all the more difficult. I’ve lived in 27 different homes yet never owned my own. It’s been a rarity to hold a job or relationship more than a couple of years and have no savings for retirement. I’ve all but given up friendships and not had a meaningful conversation with my kids in years and I can’t blame them at all. I think about them all day and it hurts beyond words knowing that I’m the asshole and they’re better off without me around much. Have a talk with the person sitting next to you when your only available emotion is anger and see how many more conversations they willingly have with you. Imagine that being your dad. It’s as if there’s a switch that’s never been flipped and I’m incapable of appropriately expressing emotions in the moment. I really don’t mean to be the prick, I simply can’t help it. But I’ll never let you see the side of me cowering in the bathroom bawling my eyes out once I have time to reflect.
I’m 48 years young now and launching a new mission in life, to help educate those on how it takes a community to provide a safe environment for our children. Not one person has all the right answers and alone we fail. Whether it be coaches, school administrators, parents or the medical field, the system failed me. I would never advocate to end youth football, but why does it need to be combative? Too many have tragically lost their voices without even knowing football damaged their brains. The year I fell in love with the game was the year I played low-contact flag football, it becomes something else entirely when you start hitting each other.
It’s time to ban youth tackle football. Is it radical, yes. So were seatbelts and smoking bans.
Converting youth football to a flag system is the only remaining viable solution to making football safer for our kids. CA and NY have recently submitted proposals, it’s time lawmakers in other states step forward. The NFL’s most recent Pro Bowl gave flag rules a shot, the fans and players enjoyed it so much it’s here to stay. If the NFL gets its proposal to the 2028 Olympic Games approved, it will be no-contact flag football rules as well. If future iterations of the game are evolving to keep adult players safe, when will youth sports follow? Why aren’t kids more protected and supported when less than 1% of them will go on to play in the NFL?
Stay strong and Stop Hitting Kids in the Head; https://concussionfoundation.org/stop-hitting-kids-in-the-head
FYI; I have a difficult time living in the moment so give me a few days and I’ll do my best to circle back around to this post. Know that I appreciate all of you at cte for coming along on this journey of discovery with me. I am not the best at providing emotional support either but know that I look forward to getting us to a place where we can all be there more for each other. I’m thinking of you when I post and I will continue sharing my research along the way, please share yours and know that you are safe here.
Additional links;
Age of first exposure to tackle football and years played associated with less white matter in brain; https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-03-age-exposure-tackle-football-years.html
Three or more concussions add up to long-term cognitive problems; https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/jan/31/three-or-more-concussions-add-up-to-long-term-cognitive-problems-study-suggests
CTE Center Director Ann McKee says the NFL ignores the risks of repetitive blows to the head and that it’s “foolish” to think the league will police itself; https://www.bu.edu/articles/2023/bu-finds-cte-in-nearly-92-percent-of-former-nfl-players-studied/
How Psychedelic Therapy Can Help Treat Brain Injury; https://www.psychedelicpassage.com/how-psychedelic-therapy-can-help-treat-brain-injury/
Before You Let Your Kids Play Football, Read This; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/play-in-mind/202301/before-you-let-your-kids-play-football-read-this
2023.04.01 06:33 ChaosReignUnderUs Matchday Thread: All Games 4/1 (April 1)
NISA
| Time (Eastern Time) | Home | Away | Link |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3:00 PM | Chattanooga FC | Gold Star FC Detroit | Link |
| 7:00 PM | Maryland Bobcats FC | Flower City Union | Link |
| 7:00 PM | Savannah Clovers FC | Michigan Stars FC | Link |
NISA Nation
| Time (Eastern Time) | Home | Away | Link |
|---|---|---|---|
| 5:40 PM | Toros Neza USA | FC Golden State | - |
| 9:00 PM | Temecula FC | Olympiacos CA NN | - |
| 10:00 PM | AS Los Angeles | Desert FC | Link |
| 10:00 PM | Real Ensenada FC | SC Union Maricopa | - |
Eastern Premier Soccer League
| Time (Eastern Time) | Home | Away | Link |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7:30 PM | Seft F.C. | NY Greek Americans | - |
Southwest Premier League
| Time (Eastern Time) | Home | Away | Link |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7:00 PM | MULENGE F.C. | SPORTING ARIZONA | - |
| 8:00 PM | ARIZONA SAHUAROS | ARIZONA MONARCHS FC | - |
| 10:00 PM | FC UNITED KINGDOM | CAPISTRANO FC | - |
| 11:00 PM | ROSE CITY FC | SPARTANS WOLVES FC U19 | - |
| 11:00 PM | VALLEY 602 | SC UNION MARICOPA RESERVES | - |
2023.04.01 06:22 GorillaX [FND] 21330 Home Alone - 80 spots @ $5/ea
Item Name Set Number: 21330 Home Alone
Lego Price: $329 w/ sales tax
Shipping: 24x20x9, 14 lbs from WA 98597 to NY 11710, fully insured UPS Ground $71
Raffle Total/Spots: $400, 80 spots @$5 each
Price justification: lego.com
Call spots: Y
Spot limit per person: N
Duration of spot limit: N/A
Location(Country): USA
Will ship international: Not this one, sorry.
Timestamp pics: https://imgur.com/a/mnEXJiT
Description: Creases on box, a mushed corner, and loose seals. See photos, I took a bunch.
Payment required w/in 5 minutes of raffle filling, 5 for drama.
PayPal payments are to be Friends and Family only with NO Comments. If you need PayPal, shoot me a pm. CashApp payments should have NO COMMENTS. Comments will result in a permanent ban.
PayPal Info: Pm for my pp
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Tip BlobAndHisBoy
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submitted by GorillaX to lego_raffles [link] [comments]
Lego Price: $329 w/ sales tax
Shipping: 24x20x9, 14 lbs from WA 98597 to NY 11710, fully insured UPS Ground $71
Raffle Total/Spots: $400, 80 spots @$5 each
Price justification: lego.com
Call spots: Y
Spot limit per person: N
Duration of spot limit: N/A
Location(Country): USA
Will ship international: Not this one, sorry.
Timestamp pics: https://imgur.com/a/mnEXJiT
Description: Creases on box, a mushed corner, and loose seals. See photos, I took a bunch.
Payment required w/in 5 minutes of raffle filling, 5 for drama.
PayPal payments are to be Friends and Family only with NO Comments. If you need PayPal, shoot me a pm. CashApp payments should have NO COMMENTS. Comments will result in a permanent ban.
PayPal Info: Pm for my pp
Cash App Info: [REDACTED]
Tip BlobAndHisBoy
Number of vacant slots: 0
Number of unpaid users: 0
Number of unpaid slots: 0
This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BlobAndHisBoy.
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2023.04.01 06:02 AutoModerator Monthly Discussion Thread - Month of April, 2023
It’s a new month and welcome to the next Monthly Discussion Thread!
Use this thread to talk about what’s going on in & around New York City, or any topic both small & large, if you’d want to chat, bring up touristy questions/requests, air your grievances, so on. If something doesn’t merit its own post, you’re free to share here. Some example topics may include:
Useful info:
News of the Day:
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Alternate Subreddits, if you need further help and/or find the right community for you.
Self promoting
And finally…
For your viewing preference, comments here will by default be sorted by “new”. Keep in mind of the rules when commenting here, keep things SFW & self-moderate yourselves, and finally be courteous to your fellow neighbor. Hope you all find this thread useful!
submitted by AutoModerator to newyorkcity [link] [comments]
Use this thread to talk about what’s going on in & around New York City, or any topic both small & large, if you’d want to chat, bring up touristy questions/requests, air your grievances, so on. If something doesn’t merit its own post, you’re free to share here. Some example topics may include:
- Regularly asked questions (hint, you can also ask on AskNYC)
- Recommended spots for a meal (consider asking on FoodNYC), walk, bike ride (also consider asking on NYCBike or MicromobilityNYC) drink in/near NYC.
- Volunteer opportunities.
- Tourism questions/inquiries.
- Talk about city specific politics & other hot topics of the day.
- General topics that may not need its own thread due to brevity/simplicity/low-effort.
NY Daily News NY1 NBC New York
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For your viewing preference, comments here will by default be sorted by “new”. Keep in mind of the rules when commenting here, keep things SFW & self-moderate yourselves, and finally be courteous to your fellow neighbor. Hope you all find this thread useful!
2023.04.01 05:56 throwaway808000888 Can I sue my real estate attorney for negligence/malpractice?
I'd hoped I would never have to post in this sub but here we are. I purchased a plot of land in New York state last summer with the intention of building a custom home on it. My real estate agent said there were no Covenants, Conditions & Restrictions (CC&Rs) mandating things like architectural style or square footage, so:
I have invested 9 months of my life, and well over $200k on this project and I feel totally fucked over by my attorney. Did I fuck up? Can I sue my attorney for negligence? Should I tell him that I have found these CC&Rs or just go find a malpractice attorney? Any other advice would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by throwaway808000888 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
- I moved forward and hired a real estate attorney.
- The attorney asked me about my plans for the property.
- I asked him very specifically about ensuring that there were no CC&Rs or any other restrictions.
- He assured me a that he would bring any potential CC&Rs or restrictions to light.
- 9 months later, after I purchased the property and paid architecture/engineering fees to design my house, I started the permitting process.
- Surprise 1: The town has an Architectural review board with guidelines.
- I call my attorney to ensure their rules won't mess up my plans. He said no.
- Because I now have trust issues with him, I reconfirm with him that there is no chance for potential other surprises like CC&Rs and verified with him they would have appeared in my original title search. He confirmed it should have shown up there.
- I personally start digging around in the town records using my subdivision as search terms and find my worst nightmare. CC&Rs that make my plans completely impossible.
I have invested 9 months of my life, and well over $200k on this project and I feel totally fucked over by my attorney. Did I fuck up? Can I sue my attorney for negligence? Should I tell him that I have found these CC&Rs or just go find a malpractice attorney? Any other advice would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
2023.04.01 05:32 riverseine Opinion of deceased father is altering
Dad was … everything. Solid, reliable, so smart, fun to be around, a real-life hero. I have always been so proud of him. He could hold his breath underwater longer than anyone I knew, lifted scaffolding above his head, saved people from fires, built homes with gorgeous masonry work. I’ve idolized him since I can ever remember.
Dad was married before he married my mom. He had three boys with his first wife, and through a series of court hearings about child support, visitation, and possible safety concerns surrounding my mother’s mental health, Dad did not have contact with his sons from the time I was 3 years old and onward. His sons would have been 13, ~11 and ~8. I cried my eyes out for “the boys” growing up. I wanted my brothers, and often asked why we didn’t see them, had dreams about them, and wrote stories as if we were still growing up together. I was told Dad’s first wife fought dad for higher child support because “the boys were there first and needed to come first” and then there was an incident with my mother that caused their mom to be concerned for safety, and their mom sued for full custody.
I always accepted the stories, that dad was essentially helpless to keep paying the court and lawyer fees to fight the custody battle. I saw him as the innocent party and his first wife as the bad guy. As an adult, I asked Dad what happened once. He opened his mouth as if to say something, closed his mouth, opened again and started to speak, closed his mouth, put out his cigarette, and went to bed. We never spoke of it again.
He never reconciled with his sons. He saw his eldest son maybe a handful of times - two that I know of for sure - when his eldest became an adult. He ran into the middle son once, and I don’t think he ever saw the youngest again. Dad died a few years ago. His sons attended a memorial at the funeral home, but not the funeral or burial. It was strained, but I was thrilled to see them again.
I still held out that Dad did his best. It was a messy divorce, Dad was stretched between his sons with his first wife, and his daughters with his second. Money was tight - my parents sold their little farm and bought a smaller place in town following the court battles. From the one adult attempt at a conversation, I gathered it was difficult for Dad to think about, let alone discuss.
Then I became a parent.
There is nothing and no one that would keep me from her. I see Dad as the flawed and imperfect human he was, rather than the perfect, heroic man I made him out to be. He is simultaneously more real and less understandable.
I want to tell my brothers this, but it doesn’t feel right working through these revelations by venting to them. For what purpose? To drag up past trauma they may have already worked through, and have no wish to relive? So here I am - venting to the void. Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far.
submitted by riverseine to offmychest [link] [comments]
Dad was married before he married my mom. He had three boys with his first wife, and through a series of court hearings about child support, visitation, and possible safety concerns surrounding my mother’s mental health, Dad did not have contact with his sons from the time I was 3 years old and onward. His sons would have been 13, ~11 and ~8. I cried my eyes out for “the boys” growing up. I wanted my brothers, and often asked why we didn’t see them, had dreams about them, and wrote stories as if we were still growing up together. I was told Dad’s first wife fought dad for higher child support because “the boys were there first and needed to come first” and then there was an incident with my mother that caused their mom to be concerned for safety, and their mom sued for full custody.
I always accepted the stories, that dad was essentially helpless to keep paying the court and lawyer fees to fight the custody battle. I saw him as the innocent party and his first wife as the bad guy. As an adult, I asked Dad what happened once. He opened his mouth as if to say something, closed his mouth, opened again and started to speak, closed his mouth, put out his cigarette, and went to bed. We never spoke of it again.
He never reconciled with his sons. He saw his eldest son maybe a handful of times - two that I know of for sure - when his eldest became an adult. He ran into the middle son once, and I don’t think he ever saw the youngest again. Dad died a few years ago. His sons attended a memorial at the funeral home, but not the funeral or burial. It was strained, but I was thrilled to see them again.
I still held out that Dad did his best. It was a messy divorce, Dad was stretched between his sons with his first wife, and his daughters with his second. Money was tight - my parents sold their little farm and bought a smaller place in town following the court battles. From the one adult attempt at a conversation, I gathered it was difficult for Dad to think about, let alone discuss.
Then I became a parent.
There is nothing and no one that would keep me from her. I see Dad as the flawed and imperfect human he was, rather than the perfect, heroic man I made him out to be. He is simultaneously more real and less understandable.
I want to tell my brothers this, but it doesn’t feel right working through these revelations by venting to them. For what purpose? To drag up past trauma they may have already worked through, and have no wish to relive? So here I am - venting to the void. Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far.
2023.04.01 05:27 Leoinlive My interpretation of Beach Life-In-Death and what it means for Twin Fantasy
Disclaimer: I'm not claiming this to necessarily be correct or what Will intended for the album, it's just my own interpretation of what this absolute masterpiece of a song and album mean. Furthermore, I'll avoid using their real names as much as possible, as again, this is just my own interpretation of the song and probably doesn't reflect actual events which happened in Will's life.
I was thinking about what a wonderful song Beach Life-In-Death is and what it's lyrics meant in the context of the larger story of the album, and eventually I came to the conclusion that the song represnts Will being haunted by the past, present and future of his relationship with Cate, and kickstarts what happens during the rest of the album.
Let's start with the very beginning of the song, where our narrator reminisces about a happy memory of his partner after driving to Harper's Ferry, which sends him spiraling into a reflection of his relationship on the drive back.
I wanna quickly point out the dog motif line, as it could cause a crack in the theory that this all takes place before the relationship. I take the line to not actually be talking about the album itself, here "Dog" represents Cate (known as Partydog at the time), and a motif being something that reappears repeatedly, so the dog motif actually represents Will talking to his friends about Cate often. This could even be seen as the narrator's friends playing a joke on him, as he had just drunkenly come out to them moments prior.
The relationship isn't official:
As one last footnote (and something i just found interesting), in the vinyl edition’s lyric sheet this song is subtitled "a cursed song". I think this might be in reference not only to Will being haunted by his past, present and future (much alike to the story "A Christmas Carol"), but also the fact that this song is what begins his further reflection into the relationship.
submitted by Leoinlive to CSHFans [link] [comments]
I was thinking about what a wonderful song Beach Life-In-Death is and what it's lyrics meant in the context of the larger story of the album, and eventually I came to the conclusion that the song represnts Will being haunted by the past, present and future of his relationship with Cate, and kickstarts what happens during the rest of the album.
Let's start with the very beginning of the song, where our narrator reminisces about a happy memory of his partner after driving to Harper's Ferry, which sends him spiraling into a reflection of his relationship on the drive back.
Part I
This section of the song is before the relationship has started (the past), here the person our narrator is interested in already has a partner, which causes him immense pain, writing songs about not being able to be with them, and seemingly falling apart at the seams because of said inability. Already our narrator is in love with the impossible fantasy of a perfect relationship with this person, and suffering because it would never come true.
I wrote beach death when I thought you were taken I wrote beach funeral when I knew you were taken
It should be anti-depression As a friend of mine suggested Because it's not the sadness that hurts you It's the brain's reaction against it
It's not enough to love the unreal I am inseparable from the impossible I I want gravity to stop for me My soul yearns for a fugitive from the laws of nature
I wanna quickly point out the dog motif line, as it could cause a crack in the theory that this all takes place before the relationship. I take the line to not actually be talking about the album itself, here "Dog" represents Cate (known as Partydog at the time), and a motif being something that reappears repeatedly, so the dog motif actually represents Will talking to his friends about Cate often. This could even be seen as the narrator's friends playing a joke on him, as he had just drunkenly come out to them moments prior.
I pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends I never came out to my friends We were all on Skype And I laughed and changed the subject She said "what's with this dog motif" I said Do you have something against dogs?
Part II
This section jumps in time, where the narrator and his (now) partner are already in some kind of relationship (the present). The narrator still shows an obsession with his partner, though he sees the cracks starting to form in this toxic union.The relationship isn't official:
It's been a year since we first met I don't know if we're boyfriends yetThey're getting hypocritical, and they don't know what they want:
We said we hated humans We wanted to be humansThey feel the need to hide their relationship around loved ones:
And you can take him home to your mother And say, Ma, this is my brotherOverall, things slowly start to get repetitive, boring and tiring, as they were before they even dated:
Get more groceries, get eaten get more Groceries, get eaten, get more groceries get eatenDespite all this (and more as we see in later tracks), our narrator desperately wants to continue what he has, as he has idealized this person and this relationship so more, that he'd hold on to it, regardless of how much it might hurt him:
Get eaten by the one you love When they put their lips around you You can feel their smile from the inside
Part III
This section takes place once their romance is over (the future). The two of them remained friends, but the other person no longer showed any interest in the narrator, and he desperately wished for it to come back:Your ears perked up I perked up when your ears perked up You were all looking around And I hoped it was for me I hoped you were using your sonar systems for meFrom here, the rest of the song essentially mourns what happened, and the narrator wishes he would've heard the warnings and never started a relationship in the first place.
The ancients saw it coming You can see that they tried to warn them In the tales that they told their children But they fell out of their heads in the morningFinally, the ocean washes open the grave of the narrator's partner, meaning that the sadness that was felt during this reflection of what happened caused the narrator to keep going down the rabbit hole of his relationship, what could've been, and how bad things really were.
They said sex can be frightening But the children were not listening And the children cut out everything Except for the kissing and the singing
What does this mean for the rest of the album?
Following this thread, you could interpret the rest of the songs on the album up until Cute Thing, as a close-up look at how the narrator's relationship developed over time, with "Stop Smoking" representing self-destructive habits, "Sober To Death" dealing with anger issues and the perils of a long distance relationship, "Nervous Young Inhumans" being a further inspection of the narrator idealizing the relationship, "Bodys" about their complicated sexual relationship, and "Cute Thing" being a breaking point in the relationship, with our narrator desperately trying to hold the connection together, and distracting himself with whatever he can. "High To Death" is the break up song, with them no longer together, and the narrator sunk in an extreme state of depression. "Famous Prophets" sees the narrator dealing with the fact that the relationship is forever over, and finally breaking free from the fantsasy. Lastly, "Those Boys" is the nail in the coffin, with a fairly meta twist. Will has moved on from what happened, but it'll forever be immortalized in the themes and lyrics of Twin Fantasy.As one last footnote (and something i just found interesting), in the vinyl edition’s lyric sheet this song is subtitled "a cursed song". I think this might be in reference not only to Will being haunted by his past, present and future (much alike to the story "A Christmas Carol"), but also the fact that this song is what begins his further reflection into the relationship.
TL;DR
BLID's three sections represent every step of the narrator's relationship with his partner (the before, during and after), with the very end of the song releasing every single thought he has about the relationship, and manifesting it in the form of the rest of the songs on the album, eventually ending with closure.2023.04.01 04:52 Physics-Ornery Question about blood test refusal
BTW this takes place in Upstate NY.
My scenario is kind of complicated so I’ll try to keep it short. I am a very tired nurse working very long hours. I have a sick father to care for when I’m home. I get burnt out. This is extremely embarrassing but I fell asleep AT THE HOSPITAL and no one could wake me up. I was out. My director of nursing came in (this was about 2am so she wasn’t happy about it) and said I needed to leave and it was unsafe for me and my patients to continue the rest of my shift. Understood and agreed, although embarrassed. I had many offers to take me home but “no, no, I’m fine it’s only 10 min I can make it!”
(Narrator:) She didn’t make it.
I was somehow so zoned out on side roads NEAR the lake I live on but wasn’t sure exactly where I was. Also… you know when you’re really tired and your eyes start burning? Well I’m blind as a bat and should not have put my glasses on my forehead to receive some relieve. So I’m glasses-less, dark roads, saw a sign for a main road and got a little overzealous (ok a lot overzealous) and made a hard right turn… right into a Rocky ditch. I had AAA on the way and was waiting in my dads truck (bless him. He’s waiting for a heart transplant and got to me in 5 min.
Suddenly two police cars showed up and I barely said two words to her but she wanted me to step out the the vehicle. I’m not giving a sob story, it really felt like they wanted to arrest me from the jump. First they we’re CERTAIN I was drunk. Terrible balance and overall body coordination over here! Did not pass the heel to toe or balance and count. I’d like to see them so that after 3 16 hours shifts in a row! So anyway, they brought out the breathalyzer wish I couldn’t wait for because I knew I wasn’t drinking. And of course, I blew .0000. I was SO happy! Thought the ordeal was over.
(Narrator: It was not.)
So they kind of murmured together a little bit and came back and said “well, you are at least high (may eyes were insanely bloodshot from the burning tiredness. (Should’ve heeded Ben Stein’s advice a little better back in those old commercials) so we need to take you back to the hospital to get blood work. Excuse me, MY HOSPITAL!!!!?!! My place of employment that I just got sent home in back with shackles, cuffs, and escorted by deputies? That’s a nightmare I could never go through! I asked if a lab person could come to the precinct because I WAS SOBER. Or any other hospital. Nope. Then I asked her “ Listen, I do have THC in my system. It is legal now and I partake in edibles on my days off and weekends frequently. I will have THC in my system but it’s not from today will that give me a DUI? And the woman responded “If you are found to have THC in your system you’re getting a DUI because I know you’re high.” I wasn’t.
I’ve never went through anything like this and weighed out my options as much as I could with all the commotion. I felt like it was damned if I do and damned if I don’t. My court hearing is the 10th and the women officers that arrested me claimed that I was kinda all over the place. Without getting too deep into my medical history, my lawyer said that if I can get a letter from my my doctor clarifying some of my actions it could really help my case. I have zero prior convictions literally a squeaky clean record with the law so I hope this helped get, and the note from doctor might help turn this into a DUAI which would be excellent from what one reading about it. Any experts out the that might have helpful tips/feedback/advice. I’m terrified of this ruining m nursing career and life
Okok sorry , I know I’d try to keep it short so here’s a TLDR: Crashed into ditch tired as hell. Stone sober but there was THC in my system definitely because I have been partaking on weekends and days off pretty frequently. Im a nurse working long night shifts and Director of nursing sent me home due to the condition I was in. I fell asleep at nurses station! We’re all so damned overworked! Two cops pulled up to the scene and basically accuse me of being drunk, I blew 0.00. Then they wanted to bring me back to my place of employment where I was just sent home from in shackles and handcuffs to get a blood draw. I asked if we could go anywhere else and they said no. I told the officer I will have THC in my system but it’s not from today will that be an automatic DUI? She said absolutely because I believe you are high right now
Should I have taken the test and gotten an automatic DUI? Although weed IS legal in New York it’s still considered driving impaired. Did I do the right thing by refusing after she flat out told me I will get a DUI in it’s in my system.
Advice, experience, constructive criticism, even some “girrrrlllll the nave made a huge mistake” all are welcome. Thanks in advance advance guys and Val.
submitted by Physics-Ornery to legaladvice [link] [comments]
My scenario is kind of complicated so I’ll try to keep it short. I am a very tired nurse working very long hours. I have a sick father to care for when I’m home. I get burnt out. This is extremely embarrassing but I fell asleep AT THE HOSPITAL and no one could wake me up. I was out. My director of nursing came in (this was about 2am so she wasn’t happy about it) and said I needed to leave and it was unsafe for me and my patients to continue the rest of my shift. Understood and agreed, although embarrassed. I had many offers to take me home but “no, no, I’m fine it’s only 10 min I can make it!”
(Narrator:) She didn’t make it.
I was somehow so zoned out on side roads NEAR the lake I live on but wasn’t sure exactly where I was. Also… you know when you’re really tired and your eyes start burning? Well I’m blind as a bat and should not have put my glasses on my forehead to receive some relieve. So I’m glasses-less, dark roads, saw a sign for a main road and got a little overzealous (ok a lot overzealous) and made a hard right turn… right into a Rocky ditch. I had AAA on the way and was waiting in my dads truck (bless him. He’s waiting for a heart transplant and got to me in 5 min.
Suddenly two police cars showed up and I barely said two words to her but she wanted me to step out the the vehicle. I’m not giving a sob story, it really felt like they wanted to arrest me from the jump. First they we’re CERTAIN I was drunk. Terrible balance and overall body coordination over here! Did not pass the heel to toe or balance and count. I’d like to see them so that after 3 16 hours shifts in a row! So anyway, they brought out the breathalyzer wish I couldn’t wait for because I knew I wasn’t drinking. And of course, I blew .0000. I was SO happy! Thought the ordeal was over.
(Narrator: It was not.)
So they kind of murmured together a little bit and came back and said “well, you are at least high (may eyes were insanely bloodshot from the burning tiredness. (Should’ve heeded Ben Stein’s advice a little better back in those old commercials) so we need to take you back to the hospital to get blood work. Excuse me, MY HOSPITAL!!!!?!! My place of employment that I just got sent home in back with shackles, cuffs, and escorted by deputies? That’s a nightmare I could never go through! I asked if a lab person could come to the precinct because I WAS SOBER. Or any other hospital. Nope. Then I asked her “ Listen, I do have THC in my system. It is legal now and I partake in edibles on my days off and weekends frequently. I will have THC in my system but it’s not from today will that give me a DUI? And the woman responded “If you are found to have THC in your system you’re getting a DUI because I know you’re high.” I wasn’t.
I’ve never went through anything like this and weighed out my options as much as I could with all the commotion. I felt like it was damned if I do and damned if I don’t. My court hearing is the 10th and the women officers that arrested me claimed that I was kinda all over the place. Without getting too deep into my medical history, my lawyer said that if I can get a letter from my my doctor clarifying some of my actions it could really help my case. I have zero prior convictions literally a squeaky clean record with the law so I hope this helped get, and the note from doctor might help turn this into a DUAI which would be excellent from what one reading about it. Any experts out the that might have helpful tips/feedback/advice. I’m terrified of this ruining m nursing career and life
Okok sorry , I know I’d try to keep it short so here’s a TLDR: Crashed into ditch tired as hell. Stone sober but there was THC in my system definitely because I have been partaking on weekends and days off pretty frequently. Im a nurse working long night shifts and Director of nursing sent me home due to the condition I was in. I fell asleep at nurses station! We’re all so damned overworked! Two cops pulled up to the scene and basically accuse me of being drunk, I blew 0.00. Then they wanted to bring me back to my place of employment where I was just sent home from in shackles and handcuffs to get a blood draw. I asked if we could go anywhere else and they said no. I told the officer I will have THC in my system but it’s not from today will that be an automatic DUI? She said absolutely because I believe you are high right now
Should I have taken the test and gotten an automatic DUI? Although weed IS legal in New York it’s still considered driving impaired. Did I do the right thing by refusing after she flat out told me I will get a DUI in it’s in my system.
Advice, experience, constructive criticism, even some “girrrrlllll the nave made a huge mistake” all are welcome. Thanks in advance advance guys and Val.
2023.04.01 04:48 BlackBerryBrad 34M Looking For New Friends to Get to Know
Hello there, my name is Brad and I am 34M from NY. I am hoping to find some new friends to get to know. Sadly there are a lot of folks on here who like to chat and ghost so I am hoping to find a change in that process. I work from home and doing so makes having a social life a little tough. I would love to find someone to chat with and get to know. Someone to learn about and have deep conversations with and someone I can have silly and meaningless conversations with. Perhaps watch movies with them or something! I am also always interested in VC!
For fun I like to play video games, I play all sorts of games and play on PC, Xbox, and the Nintendo Switch. I also love being active and outdoors. I love to go to the gym, go on hikes, go fishing, and just be outside. Music is another passion of mine and I love discovering new music/ artists to listen to. If you have suggestions I'd love to hear them. I have been playing guitar since I was 8 years old and try to play a little each day. Another passion of mine is tech! I love anything tech, vintage tech Mobile tech, Computers, etc! I am always watching Youtube videos, Netflix shows, or catching up on Podcasts. I also enjoy watching sports and follow pretty much every league. I love pro wrestling and UFC as well.
If you are interested in chatting and getting to know me, feel free to send me a chat. I prefer chatting on Discord but am open to other platforms as well! I hope to hear from you soon!
submitted by BlackBerryBrad to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
For fun I like to play video games, I play all sorts of games and play on PC, Xbox, and the Nintendo Switch. I also love being active and outdoors. I love to go to the gym, go on hikes, go fishing, and just be outside. Music is another passion of mine and I love discovering new music/ artists to listen to. If you have suggestions I'd love to hear them. I have been playing guitar since I was 8 years old and try to play a little each day. Another passion of mine is tech! I love anything tech, vintage tech Mobile tech, Computers, etc! I am always watching Youtube videos, Netflix shows, or catching up on Podcasts. I also enjoy watching sports and follow pretty much every league. I love pro wrestling and UFC as well.
If you are interested in chatting and getting to know me, feel free to send me a chat. I prefer chatting on Discord but am open to other platforms as well! I hope to hear from you soon!
2023.04.01 04:40 BlackBerryBrad 34M [Chat][friendship] Looking For New Friends to Get to Know
Hello there, my name is Brad and I am 34M from NY. I am hoping to find some new friends to get to know. Sadly there are a lot of folks on here who like to chat and ghost so I am hoping to find a change in that process. I work from home and doing so makes having a social life a little tough. I would love to find someone to chat with and get to know. Someone to learn about and have deep conversations with and someone I can have silly and meaningless conversations with. Perhaps watch movies with them or something! I am also always interested in VC!
For fun I like to play video games, I play all sorts of games and play on PC, Xbox, and the Nintendo Switch. I also love being active and outdoors. I love to go to the gym, go on hikes, go fishing, and just be outside. Music is another passion of mine and I love discovering new music/ artists to listen to. If you have suggestions I'd love to hear them. I have been playing guitar since I was 8 years old and try to play a little each day. Another passion of mine is tech! I love anything tech, vintage tech Mobile tech, Computers, etc! I am always watching Youtube videos, Netflix shows, or catching up on Podcasts. I also enjoy watching sports and follow pretty much every league. I love pro wrestling and UFC as well.
If you are interested in chatting and getting to know me, feel free to send me a chat. I prefer chatting on Discord but am open to other platforms as well! I hope to hear from you soon!
submitted by BlackBerryBrad to MeetPeople [link] [comments]
For fun I like to play video games, I play all sorts of games and play on PC, Xbox, and the Nintendo Switch. I also love being active and outdoors. I love to go to the gym, go on hikes, go fishing, and just be outside. Music is another passion of mine and I love discovering new music/ artists to listen to. If you have suggestions I'd love to hear them. I have been playing guitar since I was 8 years old and try to play a little each day. Another passion of mine is tech! I love anything tech, vintage tech Mobile tech, Computers, etc! I am always watching Youtube videos, Netflix shows, or catching up on Podcasts. I also enjoy watching sports and follow pretty much every league. I love pro wrestling and UFC as well.
If you are interested in chatting and getting to know me, feel free to send me a chat. I prefer chatting on Discord but am open to other platforms as well! I hope to hear from you soon!