What happened to blind gossip 2022

I just wanted to share my opinion about what I think is about to unfold. As we wait for the inevitable news to be announced that the "Clinical hold is lifted by the FDA", what happens next? One of the most important steps with any biotech that is trying to increase its value is receiving its first regulatory approval. Once a regulatory approval is achieved with a drug like Leronlimab, future approvals are less cumbersome. Future submissions are more streamlined because you have completed and submitted the foundational work that all future submissions are based on with LL. I have mentioned this before, Hospital formularies are easier to orchestrate once you have a drug on the formulary. You are basically just adding approved indications onto those formularies. Insurance reimbursements become slightly easier with each subsequent approval. But, before you get approval CYDY has to finish what it has started in the developmental phases. Cyrus has laid out a plan to all of us and that is represented in the 12-7-22 Investor presentation that can be seen in the 8K filed with the SEC on 12-7-22. In a nutshell, he prioritized NASH, Oncology and HIV/ NASH, but since that 12-7-22 date we have seen evidence of HIV expanded to HIV-Prep and HIV CURE (long acting LL). Even evidence that a 3rd party co-development partner has been established but not formally announce for HIV long acting. Could it be VIR?
CYDY has completed a phase 2 Nash study that was well received by the NASH community. The Oncology data has blown away Dr. Stefan Gluck a long time KOL in the Oncology space and of course CYDY has achieved positive clinical results and safety profile in a phase 3 HIV combo study that is stat significant. But once the clinical hold is lifted we need funding to move the development of LL forward and across the FDA finish-line. Where could that funding be coming from?
1) Private funding from the sale of warrants ? There does not appear to be enough shares left for a full scale funding effort to perform trials in any one indication let along multiple indications.
2) Issue a ton more shares that dilutes shareholders? We are currently trading at a manipulated .25-28 cents . Issuing more shares only lowers that to low double digits or maybe single digits depending on the amount of shares issued. And if this was truly the case, we investors would have seen some sort of effort to increase the stock price. Any effort! But, we have not seen that at all. IMO it is because Cyrus is extremely confident that he has secured funding commitments that are contingent on the Lifting of the clinical hold.
3) Buyout from a Big Pharma player. It is possible, there are signs pointing in that direction. If you look at this link about 12 signs my company is going be bought out, CYDY fits the criteria on a lot of those: https://www.griproom.com/fun/12-signs-a-company-is-being-bought-out
3a) But I don't believe we are getting bought out. Cyrus has done too much work in other areas to support a buyout thesis.
4) Amarex settlement: For me, this one is tough to assess. The only thing I am COMPLETELY CONFIDENT in is CYDY wins this settlement by a 100 miles. The question is how much? And when does CYDY receive the settlement? These factors are too out of CYDY's control. I don't know if Cyrus can bank on the amount and the when to say that he feels funding is secured. Maybe I am wrong and you can know the outcome of arbitration settlements before they are actually settled. I do know that; losing companies have filed bankruptcies in order to avoid the pay out or lessen the ruling or further delay the payment. IMO, one of the many strengths I see in Cyrus is he is a talented business guy and you don't count the uncountable. He needs something that is more concrete.
5) That concrete evidence for Cyrus is in Partnerships. Something he has worked with in his past. IMO Cyrus is setting CYDY up for long term success. He and Team CYDY are building the foundation to support that long term growth and he laid evidence of that out in the 12-7-22 plan. The partnership plan is going to be a sophisticated web of different types of partnerships that will bring in multiple partners with each one having a different twist to the partnership agreements. Scott Kelly said there are a 1000 ways to do partnerships. Whether you like Scott Kelly or not; there are a variety of ways to structure these things.
SO what will CYDY look like after the clinical hold is lifted? I think it starts with LIVIMMUNE and HIV. There is a model of this with GSK, Pfizer and Shionogi. They have a joint venture together to form ViiV. Viiv is a HIV company that is broken up between: 76.5% of the company is now owned by GlaxoSmithKline, 13.5% by Pfizer and 10% by Shionogi. More ViiV info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ViiV_Healthcare
What is interesting about ViiV is that ViiV Healthcare's products have a market share of approximately 19%[3] of the global HIV market, making it the second-largest healthcare company, after Gilead Sciences, which is working on the treatment of HIV.[4]
This brings me back to points I made at the beginning of this post. CYDY needs to cross the FDA finish-line and get approvals. THE QUICKEST WAY to do that is the resubmission of HIV MDR BLA. All of the required documents for the lifting of the clinical hold are also required for the BLA submission. CYDY has done the work already for the BLA re-submission by submitting many of those documents for the Lifting of the clinical hold. This to me is a perfect first step in a new Joint venture (with a twist) that LIVIMMUNE and VIR could create. With a future pipeline of long acting LL. This strategy is a great way to get the first approval and have a distribution partner in VIR put in place. Much better than the distribution agreement that NP created and ended up with Regnum. As some will recall Regnum has absolutely zero experience in the HIV space and zero sales force.
Let me comment on the Joint Venture with a twist with VIR. CYDY needs funding and generally speaking when you have a joint venture the different parties bring something to the party. CYDY has the asset (LL) and the completed phase 3 HIV MDR study. But no money for operations or future development. Since we have the asset and a completed HIV study ready for a BLA submission and eventual future PDUFA date. VIR can pay CYDY to be a part of that. VIR gets access to a HIV approval that would happen around 18 months: (6-9 months for an accepted BLA submission and 6-9 months for a PDUFA date.) IMO CYDY gets some funding from VIR to be a part of the HIV program at LIVIMMUNE.
Just a FYI on VIR, the last 10Q showed approximately $2.4 billion in cash and investments, and $1.5 Billion in revenue. Surely they can fork over $65 -$150 million for the rights to be involved with LIVIMMUNE?
What about Merck and Keytruda? All we know is that MD Anderson did a combo study in Oncology with LL/Keytruda. I believe we will know more about all of that after the lifting of the hold. Plus a possible partnership with Merck.
Lately, while we wait for the inevitable news of the lifting of the clinical hold, we get more information on CCR5's involvement in a particular disease state. Oncology was just going be MTNBC, and MGK pointed out from the September 2022 CC "17:50: So the near term financing requirements for the company will be focused on re-entering clinical trials for NASH as expeditiously as possible. Now while we do plan to continue development in oncology, our focus will be toward certain solid tumors to insure that we can collect sufficient data in enough patients within select indications, namely, colorectal cancer, breast cancer and potentially in non-small cell lung cancer with combination agents. We said colorectal cancer or CRC, we will be looking at the metastatic, microsatellite stable population*. This represents about 85% of all the diagnosed cases of CRC. This particular segment of CRC hasn't seen any meaningful therapeutic advancement in nearly a decade. Yet, the Survival rates in that population have considerable room for improvement. In breast cancer, rather than focus on only the mTNBC population, which really only represents about 15% of the total growth cancer market and has seen increased competition advancements in check point inhibitors and antibody drug conjugates, we are going expand our focus into Hormone receptor positive HER2 negative population which stands for roughly about 70% of the total market. We believe that mCRC and mTNBC each represent large opportunity for leronlimab, and we believe that the mechanistic rationale for using the drug in those populations is quite strong for a CCR5 inhibitor. Let me be clear, that we intend to run these cancer studies over sufficient period of time to generate a robust and meaningful clinical data set that a potential partner would find compelling.*"
Multiple indications in Oncology and IMO means multiple potential partners in this space.
Once the Big Pharma players begin to really and I mean really understand the broad reach of LL and its effectiveness; They will want more of CYDY than ever before. They wont want to share indications and will have to step up in a BIG WAY to get their arms all the way around CYDY.
I have never been more confident than I am now about LL and the direction that we are headed. We are never going to be seeing this .26-.28 cents ever again.

On the planet teeming with eight billion others, I was just another face in the crowd, navigating the tumultuous corridors of high school. Today, we were ticking off the second to last day of the school year, and we had the liberty of a half day, making lunchtime the closing bell.
At fifteen, I was awkwardly wading through the stormy seas of adolescence, complete with the scourge of hormonal surges and the unfortunate sprinkling of acne dotting my face. My world was wonderfully wrapped up in a corner of our high school cafeteria, a realm presided over by Emila. The dazzling subject of my dreams, she held me under her spell with her enchanting beauty. Her hair, a river of glistening platinum, formed a comforting canopy around me, filling my senses with a tantalizing mix of coconut-scented shampoo and the memorable reminder of our gym sessions.
“Alex, come back to Earth!”
My Emila-infused daydream was interrupted by Elijah, my only friend in a table full of acquaintances.
“Did you see the TikTok I sent?”
He asked, a twinkle of devilish delight dancing in his eyes. I fumbled for my phone, eager for a dose of Elijah’s promised comedy, only to find the video was no longer available with unsurprising speed.
“Man, it was comedy gold! Imagine Thanos, asscheeks and all, telling the most offensive Holocaust joke. Legendary stuff”
Elijah chuckled heartily, his laughter echoing around the room, amplified by his own creative narrative.
“Sure sounds like it”
I muttered, my gaze returning to Emila. Her attention was stolen by my older brother, the infamous Mikey, whose joke had her laughing. Mikey, a final year student with a solid record of academic underachievement and a proclivity for marijuana, was a walking, talking, stoner stereotype. What was unsettling was his inexplicable charm with the wide-eyed freshman girls, a twisted hobby that gave him an unusual sense of satisfaction.
As the bell shrilled, signaling the end of the school day, Mikey abruptly stood up, the metal chair beneath him screeching in protest. His next words, a slurred mix of colloquial slangs and contemporary cuss words, were aimed at summoning his freshman fan club, a motley crew of wide-eyed youngsters who clung onto his every word like bees to honey. At the same time, he bumbled out a half-hearted invitation for Emila to join their quest for illicit pleasures. Emila's reaction was a fusion of disgust and amusement, an expression I decided to commit to memory for my poetry. She gracefully declined his offer with a well-rehearsed flip of her hair and a disdainful wave of her hand, then she returned to her conversation, laughter pealing from her like sweet music, completely oblivious to my heart hammering in my chest.
Around me, chaos broke loose as the cafeteria, now released from the clutches of academic torture, transitioned into a war zone of wild whoops, boisterous laughter, and the smell of overly sweet cafeteria food. At the corner of my eye, I caught Elijah's failed attempt to record a TikTok, where he took on the guise of a chicken playing Mozart's fifth symphony on a battered keyboard. The sight of him clucking passionately amidst a cacophony of piano notes sent me into a fit of laughter, providing a much-needed dose of comedic relief after the annoyances of my school day. The last sight that graced my eyes as I exited the cafeteria, was the bewildered expression on the face of our school janitor, as he stood paralyzed amidst the storm, mop in hand. It was a fittingly ludicrous end to another thrillingly mundane school day. With that, I picked up my bag, donned my headphones, and began my solitary trek home.
The burden of unrequited love weighed heavily upon my weary shoulders as I trudged homeward. In dire need of a chill-out moment, I fumbled for my go-to vape, only to be met with the light show of a dead battery. Just another bump in the road that is the teenage rollercoaster ride. As I hit the 7-Eleven on my route, I was looking forward to seeing Antonio, the ageless dude who seemed more interested in cracking jokes than caring about checking IDs. But instead of Antonio's playful smirk, I came face-to-face with a new character, with wrinkles that told stories of time gone by. A wave of disappointment washed over me as I nabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper and headed for the cash register.
"What happened to Antonio?"
I asked, putting my drink on the counter for the mystery guy.
"Who?"
He muttered, his focus on the soda can he was sliding under the scanner.
"Antonio, the guy who's usually here in the evenings"
I explained, a hint of irritation in my voice.
"Dunno. I only started here last week. I just know the young girl who takes over when my shift ends"
He responded, his words leaving a gap in my world, like a punch in the gut of my usual routine.
Taking a bubbly swig of my Dr. Pepper, I tried to swallow the truth of teenage life. It was like walking into my favorite cozy room, only to find the furniture rearranged haphazardly. The change was unexpected, and unwelcome.
Finally trekking my way home after sitting on a bench listening to music for what Must've been hours. I walked under a sky that seemed to be experimenting with shades of orange and purple, I felt a strange kind of solitude sneaking in. My thoughts kept playing a merry-go-round with Mikey, Emila, and now absent Antonio - the trio that had become the stars of my high school drama.
My front door protested loudly under my foot's frustrated kick, and a slurred
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
Bellowed from the living room. My mother, ensnared in an alcoholic haze, lounged over the couch, her shaking finger accusingly pointed in my direction.
"Did you forget that I get migraines?"
The smell of tequila permeated the air, filling my nostrils as soon as I crossed the threshold. I sighed, hoping for a lifeline.
"Is dad home?"
My mother sank back onto the couch, her voice a whisper
"No."
My father, the only one who occasionally lent an ear when I complained about Mikey, was perpetually chained to his cubicle, another cog in the corporate machine.
I ascended the stairs, each creaking step a harmony to the melancholic rhythm of the dark. The silent house held the weight of my unease, my chest tightening with an indescribable yearning. Tucked away in the solitude of my room, I pulled out my phone, the screen's glow illuminating my apprehensive features. I typed out a tentative message to Emilia, a small confession of the feelings that had long been gnawing at my insides.
"Hey, Emilia, I..."
First message sent. But before I could finish my second text, the dreaded words - 'Message Failed to Send' stared back at me. My heart sank. Was it a sign? Maybe the universe was intervening, telling me it wasn't the right time, or perhaps, it never would be. Disheartened, I slung my phone aside, letting the unsent feelings hover in the digital void. Slipping under the comforting shroud of my blanket, I drifted off into a sleep, with dreams tinted in hues of Emilia and unspoken words.
The next morning started out ordinary until it was splattered with the color of angst when I pleaded with Mikey that morning to stay away from Emila. His response?
"Amelia, the freshman? Didn't know you had a thing for her."
His nonchalance was maddening.
"Emila. As your brother, I'm asking you to back off"
I clarified, hoping it would penetrate his stubborn exterior.
His perplexed expression turned into a nonchalant shrug.
"Damn, been saying her name wrong the few times we spoke, and she never bothered to correct me."
Mikey shrugged and walked away, leaving me feeling dismissed and unheard.
Feeling a mix of frustration and confusion, I left for school and shook off the encounter with my brother and headed to my first-period class. As I stepped into the room, I expected to see my usual teacher, Ms. Thompson, waiting at her desk. However, to my surprise, it was someone else entirely—a teacher I had never seen before. I had really liked Ms. Thompson too so to see she got a substitute on the last day was dissapointing. Yet his resemblance to Ms. Thompson was uncanny, from the way he held himself to the tone of his voice. I knew something was off.
I glanced around the classroom, taking in the unfamiliar arrangement of notes and papers hanging on the walls. The subjects and diagrams were foreign to me, not matching the usual decor that adorned this space. It was as if I had entered an alternate dimension, where everything seemed the same yet completely different.
As the class went on, the new teacher droned on with the same monotony I had grown accustomed to, but it felt hollow, lacking the genuine concern and passion that Ms. Thompson always displayed. The other students seemed oblivious to the change, talking and cutting up as if nothing was amiss. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.
Throughout the rest of class, my mind wandered, retracing the events of the past few days. Antonios unexpected absence, the failed text to Emila, Mikey's nonchalant reaction to my warning about Emila, the strange teacher in place of Ms. Thompson—it all felt like pieces of a puzzle that didn't quite fit together. For the first time, I realized how little attention I had paid to the details of my daily routine. But now, with this subtle shift in my surroundings, I couldn't help but question everything.
As the class finally came to an end, I gathered my things and made my way out.
The unfolding of the remaining classes before lunch did nothing to alleviate the paranoia that was steadily creeping over me. In my second-period class, usually dedicated to cleaning out the science lab, I noticed a set of instruments that we'd never used before. My peers didn't bat an eyelid, but to me, the incongruity was unsettling. Then in English, our final class reading didn't correspond to the assigned book. The text seemed different, as though it had been subtly altered.
Physical education, typically a free play session on the last day, was different too. Coach Peters was blowing a whistle I'd never seen before, its pitch more grating than the usual. And just before lunch, during the end-of-year assembly, the principal's speech, usually so predictable, seemed off. It contained references to events and achievements that didn't match my memories.
As lunchtime arrived, a mix of anticipation and anxiety filled the air. Even with my world falling apart I found time to worry about Mikey's presence around Emila. However, Emila was nowhere to be found. When I mentioned this to the group as I took my seat, my words were met with silence, as if I had become invisible.
Sitting alone at the edge of the table, I sought solace in our group pictures, hoping to catch a glimpse of Emila. I opened Snapchat and scrolled through my camera roll until I found my favorite picture of her. But to my surprise, Emila was inexplicably absent from the image. I blinked in disbelief, rubbed my eyes, and questioned my own perception. How could she have vanished? In the photo, my arm had once embraced her, but now it hung empty at my side.
"Guys, where's Emila?"
I asked, passing my phone to Elijah. He stared at the screen for a long moment, as if emerging from a trance.
"Who?"
He finally responded absentmindedly, his attention quickly diverted by a video shared by another friend.
Taking back my phone, I desperately searched for more pictures, only to find that they had vanished—her Instagram, Snapchat, even her parents' Facebook profiles. Panic gripped me, and I screamed
"WHERE IS EMILA!?"
My voice resonating through the cafeteria, reverberating off the walls. The entire room fell into an eerie silence, and all eyes turned to me, their gazes fixed with a mix of curiosity and concern.
"Her social media is gone. I feel like I'm going insane, and none of you even acknowledge me!"
My voice cracked with desperation as I pleaded for answers.
Mikey and Elijah rose from their seats, their expressions filled with compassion, ready to console me. But I couldn't bear their pity, their feeble attempts to calm my tormented mind. Their words would be meaningless. With a surge of frantic energy, I pushed my chair back and fled the suffocating atmosphere of the cafeteria.
As I stumbled out of the school, my surroundings blurred in a whirlwind of confusion and distress. The world itself seemed to warp and twist, mocking my feeble attempts to comprehend the inexplicable. Thoughts tumbled through my mind, colliding and fragmenting like shattered glass. Where had Emila gone? How could she vanish so completely, leaving no trace behind? Was I losing my grip on reality?
A light drizzle began peppering the surroundings, setting a somber atmosphere. Hours slipped away as I aimlessly wandered, searching for answers. Maybe someone had slipped me acid-laced food, or perhaps I was crazy like my mother. The thought of my brother's affinity for drugs crossed my mind, but I had never dabbled. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to find a sense of respite in my vape once again.
Entering the 7-Eleven, a chilling sensation overcame me as I discovered the same elderly man behind the counter. Without uttering a word, I hopped over the counter, desperate to find any clue.
"Kid, you can't be back there!"
The man exclaimed, attempting to restrain me. Swiftly, I pushed him away, unearthing the work schedule from the wall.
"Where's Antonio?" I stammered.
The old man, seemed to recognize me.
"I asked about that. Antonio doesn't work here"
He said, struggling to regain his footing. Overwhelmed with a sense of paranoia, I bolted out of the gas station, gasping for breath only when I reached the safety of my home.
In the dim light of the early evening, I found myself sprawled on the unkempt grass of the front yard. The recent rain had left the ground sodden, but I barely noticed the wetness seeping into my clothes. As the rain mingled with my silent tears, I heard the familiar rumble of my older brother Mikey's truck pulling into the driveway.
"Hey pussy"
He exclaimed, pushing his rain-soaked hair back from his forehead. His voice carried a light-hearted jest that felt foreign amidst the somber atmosphere. He was always like this, quick to crack a joke even in the gloomiest of moments. It was his way of diffusing tension, I suppose. He reached out, pulling me up and leading me towards the house. Once inside and in his room, an aroma filled my nose – a peculiar mix of stale pizza and mildewy old books – that somehow comforted me in a strange, indescribable way. It was an olfactory reminder of a time before things got so complicated.
Catching my eye, Mikey reached into his drawer and withdrew an intricately designed glass bong. I had seen it before, on one of those rare occasions when Mikey would let me into his private world. Now, he was extending the invitation again. He passed me the bong, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
I hesitated for a moment, my mind flashing back to times when mom would sit us down in front of the TV after school, her kind and comforting presence a strong reassurance of love and security. That was before the alcohol took over, before the comforting light in her eyes had been replaced by a glassy, distant look. The thought of her brought an odd sense of calmness, as if her spirit was there with me, guiding me through this haze.
Taking the bong from Mikey, I let out a nervous chuckle, matching his playful demeanor. As I took a hit, we fell into a comfortable laughter, punctuated only by the deafening theme song of Family Guy playing on the large TV in the corner of his room. The memory of our shared laughter resonated deeply within me, a balm to the churning unrest I had been feeling.
"It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and-"
Suddenly, the television vanished, replaced by a weathered dresser that had been stored in the attic.
Mikey's phone suddenly blared a familiar jingle.
"Ah, man. One sec, bro,"
"-sex on TV." My brother's phone blared at maximum volume.
"Sorry, bro, my friend texted me"
He explained, placing the phone between us.
"Where's the TV?"
I muttered, the words hardly audible. As the high intensified, the room started to spin, the familiar comfort of Mickey's presence fading away. I reached out in a futile attempt to steady myself but fell onto the cold, hardwood floor. The room seemed to swirl around me, familiar objects distorting into unrecognizable shapes and colors.
Pulling myself up, I lurched out of the room, navigating the labyrinthine house as fragments of memories flooded my mind. It felt like I was walking through a dream – a vivid, disorienting journey through time and space. Stepping outside, I saw the lawn had morphed into a neatly trimmed landscape, A new 'For Sale' sign swaying gently in the evening breeze, dissolved away as quickly as I noticed it.
The sounds of laughter drew my attention to the house. The windows were aglow with warm, inviting light, revealing an unfamiliar family engrossed in their game night. Their joy was a stark contrast to my growing desolation.
As days rolled on, my world reshaped, transforming from the familiar to an enigmatic panorama. Faces blurred, places mutated, my identity itself seemed to wane, fading into oblivion.
Caught in this mutating reality, I felt a quiet observer, my existence phasing out into the ether. Friends, family, Emila - all were melting away into the canvas of my evaporating memory.
Then, amidst the dissolving haze, clarity dawned, presenting a profound revelation. Our Earth was yearning for equilibrium, burdened with the weight of 8 billion souls, a possibly infinite and cruel humanity, now quickly seeking balance before it was too late.
We had pushed our home to her brink. Now, a beautiful transformation is underway. Smiling strangers began to color my world, their joy reflecting the Earth's newfound harmony. Merchandise, once an extravagant luxury, now seemed accessible to all. The battlefield in Ukraine had given way to peace, a testament to the world healing its wounds.
As I type this out in a clean and rather nicely lit alleyway. I find myself blending into the cosmic expanse, my hands and arms fading away before returning as if the universe wants me to finish. As I turn from a solid entity into an echo of existence. The world moves on, its stride unperturbed by my fading presence. Yet, in my diminishing, I realize my contribution to Earth's balance.
Earth is in the midst of achieving perfection. Many of you won't make it and will be gutted like myself, some of you will stay. The rest of you, I catch glimpses of as I fade, timeliness unaffected and left to die without God.
My final thoughts are not of sorrow, but of serene acceptance and profound understanding. As I phase into the ether, I became a cosmic whisper, a gentle reminder of the necessity for balance and respect for our fragile planet.

I'm mainly a lurker, but this recent event has really made me upset.
Recently, my friends (we are all around 20 years old in age, so very young) and I got in a pretty big argument over whether or not pits are dangerous and why they may attack.
TRDL: Friends tried to back up their pro-pit argument by claiming that their behavior is because of how they are raised. I argued that while this could be a contributing factor, there is a genetic component to why they attack. They denied my argument and accused me of wanting to hurt animals. Now I feel isolated and disrespected from the people whom I considered my friends.
The conversation (summarized) ------------------------------------------------------------------
It started with someone (we will call A) sending a picture of pitbull in our group chat, saying that the pit was so nice so how could anyone hate them (A knew that I have a negative opinion of these animals). I responded saying that one individual cannot represent the population as a whole, and just because one of these animals is nice doesn't mean that this is (and has been) the most deadly dog breed. That's where things started to blow up.
B, C, and D all started responding, saying that its all in how these dogs are raised, saying that they are the most abused dog breed in the world (which is fact, they are the most abused breed, however I think there is more depth on why they might attack someone), and thus, if they are to attack, it's because of the way they are raised.
I responded saying that yes, abuse can be one of the factors that may cause a dog to attack, however, this certainly is not true for all attacks, and that there is a "genetic component" (which the FAQ for this subreddit also states) that cannot be ignored, backing up my claim with the breeding history of pits and other fighting dogs, and how, like several other species, these animals were just doing what they were bred to do (I used examples regarding several breeds of herding dogs, hunting dogs, etc, and how they were bred for these specific traits).
Of course, B, C, and D denied that genetics had any part in why pits might attack and continued to ignore my argument, then kept insisting that I didn't understand their argument. When I brought up the amount of people they kill per year (this is only reported deaths, not even attacks), D said that they had only killed about 300 people globally on average per year (i was INFURIATED because according to what D said, that is about 300 people PER YEAR who have died due to these animals, and D was treating it as if it was absolutely nothing). C also brought up an article which was from the ATTS (which the FAQ addressed to be useless and even said that the ATTS admitted that "the breed rankings are "not a measure of a breed's aggression," are not scientific, and hold no statistical significance"). C also equivalated the banning of gay marriage (C and I are both homosexuals) to pits bulls being banned, and just did not seem able to understand that pitbulls and humans are not the same.
B then ended the conversation by saying that I was twisting B's words into what I wanted them to say, and that I promote an agenda that wants to hurt and kill animals (which i thought was very hypocritical of B to say, considering that B was upset that I was apparently putting words in their mouth, which is then what they proceeded to do to me).
End of conversation ------------------------------------------------------------------
Honestly, what went on in the argument isn't even important. I just feel disgusted, upset, and like an idiot by people who are (were?) my friends. The fact that they all literally "pitted" against me and denied my argument which I thought I had supported very well, even acknowledging their perspective, only to be entirely disregarded an treated like I was evil and an idiot.
The thing is, I wish I would have never even mentioned my opinion towards pits to them (I had mentioned that I disliked pits a few months prior, and we had seldom talked about it until now). I thought that as my friends, they would have the capability to accept that I have a different opinion (they wouldn't even have to necessarily agree with my argument), but instead, they ignored anything I had to say, disrespected survivors/victims of pitbull attacks, and just accused me of wanting to hurt and kill animals. These were my friends whom I trusted and I shared a great bond with, but the fact that they could be so blind disgusts and hurts me, and I can only imagine how the survivors and victims of pitbull attacks may feel, as well as their friends and family.
I feel that my bond with these people is permanently damaged, just based on the way they treated me and just how much they could be hurting others. I feel so isolated by them, and I think that a lot of respect they have for me and I have for them is gone. Whenever I think of the conversation, I feel sick at the thought that my own friends believe that nothing is wrong with these animals and now instead think I am an evil person who hates animals and wants them to be hurt and killed (which is not what I believe; I believe that we should stop the breeding of these animals and allow this dog breed to die out. This would not harm any existing pitbulls nor would involve abusing them).
Thankfully, one of my friends (who we will call E) messaged me later and told me that they thought I made some very good points, and while E might not agree with all my opinions regarding pitbulls, E still supports me. I am very thankful for E, even with B, C, D, (and even perhaps A) "pitting" against me.
I just can't help but feel like a bit of a horrible person (ironic right?), especially since B, C, and D think I would promote animals abuse. Of course, this has not changed my opinion on these animals, but I still feel so isolated from my friends, the people I so deeply trusted.
This experience truly has enlightened me in how people who defend these animals think. They literally denied evidence of these animals being inherently dangerous, disregarded the true impact of these animals to people, and even related pitbulls to humans in a way that they knew would affect me, then twisted the argument so that I was the bad guy.
Just so you know, I truly admire this community and those who have been affected in some way by these animals. I am so sorry to the survivors of these attacks, to the friends and family who have had a loved one affected by these animals, but know that I hold the upmost respect towards you.

Challenger Andres Campos feels disrespected by IBF flyweight champion Sunny Edwards, referring to him as a “Chilean rat” ahead of their fight this Saturday night at the OVO Arena in London, England.
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The unbeaten Campos (15-0, 4 KOs) plans on getting even with the newly signed Matchroom Bioxing fighter Edwards (19-0, 4 KOs) to take his IBF 112-lb belt and make him sorry that he chose to fight him. Promoter Eddie Hearn is really high on Edwards, believing that he’s got the talent to become the undisputed champion at flyweight in a rapid manner. Hearn is already in the planning stages to match Edwards up against WBO champion Jesse ‘Bam’ Rodriguez in his next fight this year, and then WBC champ Julio Cesar Martinez in early 2024. Campos could throw a wrench in the works by upsetting Edwards to spoil the grand plans that Hearn has for him.
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Andres Campos: “First of all, thank you very much, Eddie, for the opportunity. As you say, I’ve worked very hard for this opportunity and we’re going to show on Saturday night that we can do it and I can become the first world champion from Chile. Eddie Hearn: “I love the head-to-head yesterday. There were a lot of backward and forwards. It was high-level stuff. You said you were going to smash his head in. He called you a Chilean rat, but words aside, this is personal for you only to become world champion, but this guy doesn’t seem to like you very much either.”
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Campos: “I’m only focused on doing my work. You know he was disrespectful to me and also to my team. On Saturday, I hope he meets me in the middle of the ring, and we’re going to have a tear up.” Hearn: “Finally, this man has plenty of skill and people think the way to beat him is pressure and try and obviously hurt him in the fight. That’s what you’re going to bring on Saturday night. You’re going to try and meet him in a fight, put a lot of pressure on him, walk him down, and win by knockout on Saturday.” Campos: “So that’s the idea. You know you always look for the KO in a fight, but we have a plan A, Plan, B, and plan C. But we’ve worked really hard for this opportunity in this fight and we’re going to win.” Hearn: “Everyone’s talking about these big moments, these undisputed fights but I know you believe you’re a level above Andres Campos but he’s coming with everything on Saturday night It’s a dream opportunity for him and you do expect the best of him. Sunny Edwards: “I mean, firstly thank you to all the Matchroom staff, DAZN, yourself, Eddie, and Frank Smith for believing in me. I think I’m definitely in the best place and the best position of my career. I’m really really excited about what the future holds.
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“Obviously, you know me, Eddie. When I signed, I wanted the big fights. Now, I feel like I’ve already been made to wait way too long for them. Anyway, that’s not happened yet. The other champions weren’t on my timeline. They weren’t willing to fight me just yet. I don’t think any of them are immediately ready to fight me just now. “Anyway, I think we’re gonna still struggle after this fight but respect to Campos, as I know the fight was offered to a couple of the top 15 a couple of the top 10 and he was the first one to say yes. We had about 24 hours to get an opponent for this day. I found out on seven weeks’ notice.
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Source: Andres Campos Angry With Sunny Edwards Calling Him "Chilean Rat," Intends On Punishing Him On Saturday - Boxing News (https://www.boxing247.com/boxing-news/andres-campos-angry-with-sunny-edwards-calling-him-chilean-rat-intends-on-punishing-him-on-saturday/264139)

I stopped drinking 6 month ago for my physical and mental health, but so far, nothing has happened.
I see all these before and after pictures of people, who look healthier and happier and I just want that.
Ive been eating healthy and working out, but it doesnt make a difference.
My neuropathy disappeared for the first 2 months of sobriety, then slowly came back. Now I have good and bad days, where I barely feel like im inside my own body.
I lost 10 pounds, but I was already underweight, so thats not a good thing. I have trouble eating enough calories without drinking them.
Also, without alcohol I barely sleep and Im insanely tired and unable to concentrate during the day. Melatonin stopped working for me after a month.
I just got my blood test results back and according to them my organs are in absolutely perfect shape.
My doctor says Im fine and that it must all be psychosomatic.
Ive struggled with anxiety and depression before but I never had it manifest so physically.
I just constantly feel so exhausted and overwhelmed.
Ive been to therapy and it didnt help at all.
I dont know what to do anymore.
Do I just have to wait?

My parents (40s) are amazing people, individually. Together, however, they are just not happy. Like ever. There are a few core issues I can identify.
My dad's job and my mom's workload - this has been the bone of contention between them for years now. Luck has never been on his side in the matters of employment. He has tried a lot to get a good paying job with regular working hours, but it just doesn't seem to happen. My mom on the other hand is the bread winner of the family and because she gets home earlier, she bears the brunt of the house chores as well. My dad though helps, but my mom has the sole duty of the mental workload as well, which makes her bitter when he doesn't know what has to be done. My dad obviously has some internal feeling of not being able to provide for the family, and it hurts him.
My mother's overthinking and my dad's nonchalance- My mom has to deal with my extended family. She has all the mental workload of that as well. Taking care of the elderly grandparents, keeping in touch with the aunts and bear their gossips and schemes. She, thus, tends to overthink things. If my grandma. For instance, shall make a snarky remark (she does that a lot), my mom will think it over for days and try to discuss it with my dad who is very nonchalant about it because he doesn't have to deal with that.
Different temperaments - My mom has the attitude of finish everything before relaxing, while my dad likes to relax while working. He enjoys staying in bed till later and then getting up at leisure and listen to music etc. While my mom wakes up hours before him, cooks breakfast and lunch separately for each person in the house (everybody wants something different) and my dad, though helps, acts as an underling and needs to be told what to do and even then he'll spend a lot of time on his phone while doing that which my mom doesn't like
My mom's insistence on doing things a certain way - She does not like to go against the grain in any way. She will not allow my dad to cook or clean because she believes that's a woman's job, so my dad has to do other chores like clean up the messy rooms. He, however, doesn't mind a little mess, while my mother is adamant about having everything in the perfect order. ("What if guests come over suddenly?" which they never do)
They are not willing to change - She doesn't understand that some things are out of her control (I guess, so do I - trying to fix them), she'll constantly badger dad about being late or not having the ideal job etc. which he has no control over. He, on the other hand, enjoys his 'me time' more than spending time with her - probably because she keeps bringing up issues that have no solutions. This makes my mom very lonely. My mom will not let go of her incessant nature, and my dad refuses to spend time with her. When they do spend time together, my mom starts talking about her woes and my dad retreats to his phone and the fighting ensues.
My role in this - I have a younger brother(16M) whom I love dearly, they have left him to my care for years now. They, of course, provide for him and me, but are not very emotionally available for us, nor do they try to push us in our studies, yet they do expect good grades. My mom always talks to me about her woes in her marriage, I see her lonely all the time - she has no hobbies or friends. My dad too also talks to me about how much of a nag he finds mom. They fight all the time, when they are not fighting, they are just not speaking to one another. They make passive-aggressive remarks constantly. I don't remember the last normal conversation they had. Their fights seep into my life all the time, I am the one who breaks up their fights, I stay in the room whenever they are together to convert their passive-aggressive remarks to normal sentences. I protect my brother from their nonsense, specially because he is studying for his exams. I am tired, I have to study too. But, that always takes the backseat, I sit next to my ADHD (not diagnosed but its very clear) brother so that he focuses on his studies all day, in the evenings, I spend time with my mom because she gets lonely, and I can only study at night which is marred half the times when my parents start fighting, and I have to break it up. Sometimes I try to set up dates for them - painting tonight - but my dad declares that he is not interested, and my mom starts fighting with him over how I want them to do it. They do not let things go, when my mom is mad at my dad, for example - she takes it out on me as well. I need to shield my brother from this behaviour - I try to teach him that this is not the norm, fighting so constantly and that he should take them as an example of what not to be, but I am worried that he will learn from their behaviour.I am tired of being their therapist, I am tired of the mental workload, I am tired of playing the mental gymnastics of talking to both of them separately and placating their anger and sadness. I am of sitting in between them when they talk to convert their passive-aggressive remarks into normal sentences so a fight doesn't ensue. I am emotionally burnt out over their childish behaviour. Most of all, it is affecting my studies and mental health. It is affecting my brother, as much as I try to make it not so. Please help me, guide me in what way I can make it work. How to fix them and how to protect my brother and myself and our studies?
Note - Our culture does not permit divorce, therapy, children moving out before marriage. My extended family will eat us alive if any of the above happens.
TL;DR my parents fight constantly and use me as a therapist. How do I fix their marriage and protect my brother?

Today I (32f) had both an external and trans-vaginal ultrasounds. I wanted to make a post just to discuss my experience with anyone… I left feeling uncomfortable. I know that some physical discomfort is normal, but I left feeling like something wasn’t right or didn’t need to be that way. I would like to preface this by saying I have had this done once before when I was about 15.
I honestly don’t feel comfortable typing this out, I don’t know how or who to ask this question to so I hope someone can provide some insight.
I had the external ultrasound done first. It wasn’t bad, a little discomfort but no big deal.
During this part of the exam I was feeling anxious and was closing my eyes and trying not to talk just because I didn’t feel up to it. The tech asked me a few friendly questions and that was fine. I was a little uncomfortable when they started being overly friendly sharing personal details about their relationship with their mother and how her mother has such high expectations of her to be perfect and like her and continuing to just talk at me for the rest of time time. I assume she was just talking to be friendly but it was just more than I was expecting from a tech that I don’t know and just met two seconds ago. It was just, unpleasant for me. Likely reading too much into it but it’s a little relevant I guess.
I was then asked to go to the washroom to empty my bladder come back for the rest of the process.
She did another pass over the external when I came back from the washroom and then onto the rest.
I was made aware that I had the option to insert the wand myself, signed a form stating I was aware of this. When the time came the tech just told me what she was going to do and didn’t give me a chance or option to hold the wand. I guess it was on me to just speak up, which I didn’t and fine. It’s an uncomfortable situation to begin with, I just found that difficult.
My biggest question is when she inserted the wand, was what she did to me necessary? This is where I need to understand why I feel so gross. The wand was inserted, slowly and not overly painfully to me. Similar to what I recall the last one being like. Okay fine, moving on. At this point I expected her to start pushing the wand to the different areas that needed to be seen (this did eventually happen). But before that and upon first insertion she was moving the wand in a way that I can only describe as stimulating, sensual and intentional. It felt like it went on for 5 minutes, was probably more like 1/2. I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. It felt like something a partner would to to get you ready for penetration or something you would do when using a toy on yourself. I didn’t need to be “ready to go”. I felt like this was a completely unnecessary step and I am just questioning why this was done - no photos or clicking or what ever they do was being done at this point. Silent. I will note that the entire time during this part of the procedure she did not say a word to me.
The rest of the exam continued as I expected and recalled from the last time having this done. That first part though, not sure what that was…?
Once the exam was done she literally said “I’m taking it out now” pulled it out. Passed me one small piece of paper towel to clean up both areas. When I asked her for more tissue she said “I don’t have any I just brought this in, you’ll have to go to the washroom” then literally didn’t say anything else and just waited until I left. It was one of the most odd situations? I was surprised they wouldn’t have a box of tissue in the room when they are using this jelly all the damn time.
Waddled to the bathroom past a bunch of people with lube between my legs to go get cleaned up. Couldn’t even put my underwear back on to go from the room to the washroom because I was still covered in the shit. Just a little embarrassing uncomfortable and humiliating. Before I left I mentioned this to the front desk that they should maybe have something in the room for people to clean themselves up after this type of ultrasound. The girl seemed actually shocked that I wasn’t given more tissue when asked and asked which room I was in.
Ugh I feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing but I honestly just need some peace of mind. If anyone can provide insight or anything just about the wand insertion initially and if the movements that were done were necessary?

I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is that I want. I was hoping I could get an assist from the group here.
Im very familiar with counting calories, its pretty much the only thing that has every worked for me.
But I can't quite put my finger on why I don't want to do it any more. I guess im just so over it, burned out. I've got hundreds & hundreds of memorized calorie counts in my head. Its to the point where if calories are brought up in just about any capacity I can regurgitate how many calories are in it atleast ball park if not exactly.
My coworker walked in with a chicken strip basket from DQ & said something like, "this can't be good for me" and I was like, "Ooof, ya thats like 1300 calories."...I hate myself for this. I don't even hear food names in my brain. Someone would be like, "You want a banana?" & I hear, "You want a 100 calories?"...Then if I don't know it, I WANT to know it. Ill be at a friends house & maybe taking a mental break from counting calories, im eating some chips or whatever & Ill think, "I wonder if these chips have a similar calorie count as the tortilla chips I like or if they are more? Was it 130 for 12 chips, or was it for 18 chips? I should have never changed brands, im getting all mixed up."...
My point is when I feel burnt out & want to take a break from calorie counting...I still cant...my memory kicks in & I can't seem to shut it off. So I think, well, im still not weighing things or starring at the label & asking Alexa a bunch of math problems & conversions so its still like taking a rest. But what's happening is that I still feel like im counting calories & just doing a poor job of it. Resulting in nearly the same amount of mental effort with way less results.
I want to try something else for a while.
I just don't know what.
Im against eliminating food groups. I used to do Paleo, Atkins & Keto & was even a Vegetarian way back in the day...none of that fits my lifestyle. I need to be able to eat whatever I want, but in moderation. Its much easier for me to eat less of something than its is to deny myself it entirely.
In my quest to find an alternative to counting calories...the only thing that keeps popping up is Weight Watchers. I have recently been clobbered with their newest advertising as well. I searched for WW posts on this sub & read a few that were mostly not supportive of it. Soooo....any suggestions for me?

In my blueprint, I am trying to make a bunch of objects' Blueprints inactive until a certain point in the level. I have an actor blueprint that will detect when this certain event happens and will trigger the objects to activate their scripts. What I found that should satisfy the role is making the objects hidden by calling "Set Actor Hidden in Game" on the array of them. But I have not found a way to make the actors visible again - how do I achieve that?

My husband has been venting to our friends about our relationship. tl;dr We're 25 and just moved into a new community about six months ago, so these are our new friends he's been venting to...people we don't know super well, and it's uncomfortable. I'm guessing it's uncomfortable for them too.
He'll throw me under the bus for some things, for example if he sets a time for us to meet with our friends at 6pm, and then he has to finish a video game he'll blame me and tell them "she's running late sorry". I can refute this in front of them, but what good will that do? He tells them when we're fighting, which is just...strange to me. I'm a private person and would never ever tell people when I was in an argument or fight with someone, I want to resolve it privately and quietly with that person. And I'm sure these people don't care to know that either. It's awkward.
He has been venting to our other friend (a guy, but he's our mutual friend who we met at the same time and who we're both friends with) about how annoying it is that I want to cuddle with him (my husband, obviously) at night. He told him a couple days ago, "Dude, it's so annoying. She just wants to cuddle me at night. It f-ing sucks." to which our guy friend hesitated and then said, "that...sucks." But it seemed awkward for him and like he didn't know what to say. He just went through a divorce and what is he supposed to say, sorry your wife wants to cuddle you? It was strange to me.
He also told our other friends, a lesbian couple, directly that (about me): "she's being weird about hanging out with you two tonight, I think she thinks there's some weird sex thing going on between the three of us. It's weird. Just don't talk to her about it." when that's not at all what I think is happening. He has emotionally cheated in the past so on occasion I've felt uncomfortable with his interactions with them due to his flirtatious behavior, additionally I was busy with school that night, but then he turned it into this big awkward thing that could potentially hurt them. He took a private thing that I have been trying to work through and brought it up to them publicly. It was horrible. It felt awful. And then it felt like it was up to me to resolve the issue. I cried for two days because of that, it felt so awful and terrible. Part of me wanted to tell them about all of his recent past, all the things he would never want out in public (just take a look at my previous posts if needed and I have screenshots of everything), but I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't want to hurt him like that, nor drag our friends into this mess.
He just in general is not having my back or supporting me in front of other people and our community/friends.
He hasn't wanted to go to couples counseling, I have asked about five times and he becomes irate anytime I bring it up saying, "we should be able to work this out ourselves, you can't force me to go"....but I'm not forcing him to go and he never wants to talk about important issues that make him uncomfortable, then will vent to our friends about things I didn't even know were bothering him. I told him that I only vent about him to my therapist, no one else, because I respect him and wouldn't want to hurt him or his reputation.
Is anyone else going through anything similar? If anyone has advice for me, or has dealt with a partner who was against therapy, but then somehow came around to it, I would love to know.
Thank you everyone.

DVT lower left calf 2022. Provoked clot from flying. Did all the blood work, saw hematologist, vascular surgeon etc. They determined to keep me on Xarelto Indefinitely due to the fact I travel long distance for work so frequently.
Vascular surgeon told me to wear 30-40mg compression sock daily since my vercrose veins are bad in that same calf. He has me tentatively scheduled for Jan for vein surgery to alleviate the vercrose veins before they get worse. Ok, fine.
Fast forward.. I’m 6 months out from vein surgery, and suddenly one month ago I start getting this feeling periodically that warm liquid is rushing down my leg. Sometimes it happens multiple times a day sometimes it won’t happen at all. I finally Google and it seems like the most likely cause is veinous insufficiency.
Has anyone had this? Did you have vein surgery and it improved or went away? (Don’t worry, I messaged my Dr. Just wanted real world advice from clot survivors!)

So, while I get that some get frustrated by the likes of Elizondo and now Grusch. I think it's wise to pause and ask what is the purpose in what they're doing?
I think many just want the information these men have and don't give a shit about them or how they go about providing that information. "We've waited long enough. Tell us what you know, now." I get that. Years and years of gaslighting and disinformation have people desperate for confirmation of what the believe to be reality, and what some have directly experienced for themselves.
However, what would honestly happen if they came out and told you what they know. First, unless the have top secret documents, they would have no proof. Second, if they showed top secret documents they would be tried and jailed. Even if they did show documents everybody would say, "That's fake. It's a hoax." Nothing changes in the end.
How do we get true disclosure? Pressure. Lue Elizondo comes out and says...hey this is happening. What's the results? Massively increased public interest, decrease in skepticism nationally and globally. Public and private hearings. NASA now looking into the phenomena. Pressure. Pressure on those hiding this to finally tell the truth.
Same thing is happening and will happen with Grusch. More and more pressure from people and legislators until there is no option but to let the truth out. Then and only then will anybody actually believe it, anyway.
Be patient. Stop being a-holes to people like Elizondo and Grusch. Support them. They are doing what it takes to actually, truly, bring this into the light, but it will take some time.

My Polka Dot Begonia Maculata’s leaves started turning yellow a few minutes after i moved it into the sun. I planned on leaving it for just a couple hours but they turned yellow and limp just a few minutes after(about 5-10mins). I have been keeping it in the house, but a month or so ago i tried to put it outside and the same thing happened. I just assumed it was too cold for it so I brought it back in. It was not in the sun last time i took it out, and it is warm currently (76°F), so I am not sure what the issue is now. I put it back inside and I am hoping the leaves go back to normal. can anyone help me out?

So fucking tired of living in a country that doesn't care if it's people live or die. Can't get surgery, can't find a psychiatrist that will work with my insurance and provide me with brain numbing drugs. Genuinely what do they want me to do? Off myself? Would probably be cheaper for everyone in the long run anyways. I am so fucking frustrated. I can't afford to pay a psychiatrist $500 a week out of pocket and surgery isn't happening anytime soon. Death is the only option. have been fighting with my insurance for a year and I have twice the required letters from mental health professionals but none of that matters. No one cares that I'm living in a body that causes me physical pain and discomfort to the point of making me consider ending it all. I have been this fucking close to offing myself since November and I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like the only option for me to find peace. Ever single day since l've grasped the concept of sex and gender I have wanted to die because my body is different from other women. So fucking close to pumping my body full of drugs and hoping I never wake up. I am in so much pain, so fucking much that I can't even describe it in words. I am so fucking close to just preforming a penectomy on myself and forcing the ER doctors to complete the job before I bleed out. But honestly, maybe bleeding out is the right option in my case. Fuck the healthcare system, who the fuck has $35-$80k just lying around for reconstructive surgery. I really don't know what to do anymore and I don't see a future for myself if I have to live any longer with my current configuration. I might turn myself into a fucking statistic but atleast I'll prove a point. The American healthcare system is killing all of us unless you have elite insurance or are rich, especially trans people. So done, just so fucking done. No one is going to hear from me in the near future, and the’ll all know why, they’ll know the healthcare system failed a 19 year old girl who desperately seeked out life saving surgery and has spent the past year in intensive therapy programs. All I do all day is just rot in bed and wait for better days. But those better days will never come. I won’t last for another year without this surgery. I won’t. I refuse to. They can either provide me with life saving surgery or my life will just be over and my body will be buried deep in the ground or cremated and shoved in some urn. It’s all I fantasize about all fucking day. I can’t get into a car or any form of transport anymore without wishing and begging that I’ll end up in some horrific accident. This is what it's like to have your teenage and young adult years ripped away from you because you can't cope with living in a body with a male gender marker. All of the progress l've made in my transition, the years of hormone replacement therapy, the orchiectomy, completely living socially as a female, it all means nothing aslong as I've got this fucking tumor between my legs. I am ready to be out of this planet and society if I can't get this done. I can only tuck and distract myself for so long. There is nothing I can do to improve my situation, I just need to accept my fate and do what should've been done so long ago. I can't pee, I can't shower, I wear the same clothes for a week straight to avoid my parts as much as possible. I am fucking tired and it's over, it's all over for me. Genuinely, what the fuck am I supposed do? How am I supposed to stop fantasizing about being taken out of this world and becoming a cold, stiff, rotting corpse. It's all I want, all I dream about during the rare occurrences I do dream. I need a fucking lobotomy, I need my brain turned to mush so I can't think anymore. Or maybe extreme electroshock therapy to destroy my brain.

stupidly stopped 150mg venlafaxine abruptly October 2022. I tried to slowly taper on numerous occasions, however still experienced bad with-drawls. Upon reaching crisis point, I impulsively decided to stop cold turkey to “ get it over with). Since then i have had multiple meds changes and many physical issues.
Back story I initially engaged with psychiatry 2005 and have been diagnosed with OCD and depression . Tried many different anti depressants throughout my 20s , always working great immediately then stopped working making me feel worse mentally. I always stopped them ( over eight) as couldn’t tolerate the side effects.
I re engaged with psychiatry 2016. Having issues with low mood , OCD and sleeping problems. I was prescribed 150mg venlafaxine and 50mg quetiapine. At one point the quetiapine increased to 300mg ( no psychosis) , however remained at 50mg the majority of the time . In addition I have been prescribed 50mg lamictal since 2020. I was commenced on this shortly after stopping Concerta xl which i was on for one year 2019-2020. I had severe restlessness at night since stopping the Concerta xl ( dopamine downregulation) , however my psych was adamant it couldn’t have been the Concerta xl as “ it was out of my system”. Im unsure of his reasoning for including lamictal ( suspected hypomania ?) .
May 2022 i stopped 50mg quetiapine ( tapered to 25mg). I had severe issues with sleep and mood post quetiapine . I was then prescribed 7.5mg nightly zopiclone for the sleep issues , and I was assured it had NO with-drawls . As i’ve previously stated, i stopped the venlafaxine October 2022. Initially i had the usual with-drawl symptoms, severe brain zaps, flu like symptoms etc. After two weeks came severe insomnia , constant pacing and restlessness , which i suspect may have been akathisia . I visited my GP and was prescribed pregabalin which, within 4 weeks was titrated up to 300mg. I started then to develop suicidal ideation and began tapering the pregabalin. Each 25mg drop proved intolerable, in which I experienced severe crying spells, all over restless legs , racing looping thoughts and pacing. During this time period nov 2022 to feb 2023, i was also trialled on pramipexole( which i discontinued after six weeks and also 40 to 80mg propranolol. However during Nov 2022, i started to notice and develop red swollen feet ( oedema ) with veins dilated on them , and a sensation of burning soles. At this point i had the blood pooling all day which was worse at rest. I noticed that when i elevated my feet the pooling went away. I suspected the red pooling could have been from the pregabalin due the peripheral oedema side effect. However , i was tapering Pregabalin and cognition continued to drop, more insomnia , appetite loss, more restlessness , reduced sexual function and severe depression . In desperation i visited private neurologist who stated that nothing abnormal showed on neurological exam . As i further dropped the pregabalin to 175mg, tinnitus increased , blood pooling in feet when standing, painful toes, severe depression ( due to with-drawl and circumstances, and what i now believe to be akathisia ( severe inner restlessness ) looping thoughts and wanting to tear my skin off sensation. Also had harm OCD thoughts very vividly playing out in my head . Never have I experienced intrusive thoughts as vivid as this.
Feb 2023, i visited my Psychiatrist. I became very tearful and explained how i felt . Due to my presentation and subsequent weight loss, he suggested a voluntary admission to the psych ward , which i agreed to. My psychs first change was the introduction of lisdexamfetamine 30mg ( suspected adult ADHD ), cold turkey stopped 80mg propranolol cold turkey stopped 7.5mg zopiclone, restarted 25mg quetiapine for sleep and added melatonin plus further reduced the pregabalin to 150mg. Now even with the introduction of quetiapine at night , i still had chronic insomnia 3 to 4 hours broken sleep ( RLS with pregabalin reduction), and the blood pooling was still keeping me awake . I notified hospital staff about the blood pooling plus pain, and was dismissed with no concerns. This was always put down to “ my OCD”. By day three i was in hell . Burning jaw and face , akathisia with pacing and in constant flight or fight, with stiff muscles and tremors. Was kept being told this “ was my OCD and anxiety “ but i insisted it was entirely physical and i was suffering with akathisia . Not professional believed me or would agree with me. I literally begged the psych to make this feeling stop, he then upped the pregabalin to 225mg and added in clonazepam 1mg nightly. I had fears at this point the MDT would misdiagnose me with a psychosis or delusional disorder as i was hyper focussed on this being akathisia and my often painful swollen feet. Soon after this , the restlessness , pacing and anxiety stopped , although still slept poorly due to blood pooling in evenings in lower extremities ( 4 hours sleep )

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March 22, 2019
After exiting the Sergeants office I headed to where mom and Miranda were waiting for me.
“Why did you stay?” asked mom who looked a fair bit and understandably concerned.
“Oh uh- just asking her something.” I said not wanting to worry them, which you could argue, how effective that was.
“Fucking aliens.” Miranda hissed while looking around there weren’t any of them around to hear her.
“Language!” mom said in a screaming whispering volume, not happy with the way her daughter was talking.
“Mom right now I don’t give three shits about my language, what I care is about those purple fucks invading our planet.” Said while pointing at the space surrounding us.
“Maybe you should lower your voice a little at least.” I said while looking at the people from the front desk starring our way even though she wasn't loud it was so quiet that you could hear a snail move.
“What about you huh? How many did you fuck already? Is that why you love talking to them so much?" Miranda said while making gestures with her head while having her arms crossed
“ENOUGH, WE ARE GOING TO THE ROOM.” mom screamed, it wasn’t unusual for her to scream, that was more of dad’s job.
After getting to the room the verbal brawl resumed.
“You shouldn’t even talk to those purple fucks, but maybe you already dipped the pen in the purple ink.”
“Can you shut the fuck up? At least once?” I said already fed up.
“Alright what in the God’s name is going on with your two, I have never heard y’all argue like this.” Mom said in a concerned tone but also mixed with her angry one.
“The problem is that the mister here present, is too bothered to hear me talking about those beasts outside, so it gets me to the conclusion that he’s been sleeping with them.”
Mom stared at her for a couple of seconds before looking at me with a phase that genuinely scared me, it was a mix of shock, anger, and disgust, I’ll never forget it that I’m sure.
“Jeriel Samuel Alvarez Mejia, please tell me that’s not true.” she said in the verge of tears.
“Of course I didn’t, she’s lying as always, every single fucking time she just either jumps straight to conclusions or straight up lies about everything, everything in order for her to be out of trouble, don’t let me remind you the time I was blamed and punished for breaking a window when I was at the summer camp 3 hours AWAY.”
“And if someone needs to be scolded for having sex SHE is the one that needs to be.” I said while pointing at her, I remember they would always put her first, unless it was for things that were not enjoyable, she could get not so great grades, while if I got anything under a B I had brought shame and disappointment to the family, I remember crying in my room when dad would take all my stuff away and then proceed to trauma dump on me retelling the story of the shitty life he had before becoming successful.
“What do you mean?” mom said while turning to her, adding tears to the mix “WHAT DOES HE MEAN?”
Miranda stayed quiet avoiding moms stare “Oh I’ll tell you what I mean, she’s been sneaking his boyfriend in for about 9 months now, I never said anything because I didn’t see point in it, it would somehow bounce back and be my fault somehow.” I said as I turned to be received by the room phone in the head.
“AHH FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” I screamed as I grabbed my head.
"COME HERE YOU LITTLE SH-" as I was going to pick up speed I was stopped by mom who did her best to try and hold me back
“You mad that your fucking lie fell apart?” I told her as she backed away.
“ENOUGH, ENOUGH BOTH OF YOU!” she still found a way to include me into this.
“Miranda sweetie what’s going on?” see what I mean?
“What’s going on is that we’ve been invaded by fucking aliens and this piece of shit in front of me wants to defend them and get mad when THEY ARE THE REASON THAT DAD IS DEAD!”
Then everything got quiet.
“You know what? As far as I remember the aliens didn’t kill dad, he was live and well before the navy decided to vaporize him into oblivion.”
“And that was in their damn right, it’s like judging a person for using their gun to defend their home against a robber.” Miranda bit back.
“More like the husband killing his wife because one he has shitty ass fucking aim and two because he used a fucking shotgun to shoot the robber despite his wife being right next to the robber.”
“And now we have to move fucking somewhere else because some damn General MacArthur wanted to be a hero and get a stupid little medal for saving earth?”
As Miranda prepared to answer back mom cut her short “I’M DONE WITH BOTH OF YOU, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD HAS IT BEING FOR ME, NOT JUST YOUR DADS DEATH, BUT ALSO MY HUSBAND'S? THAT NOW I NEED TO CARE FOR YOU BOTH ON MY OWN? THAT WE DONT HAVE A HOUSE OR A PLACE TO LIVE ANYMORE THAT BY THE GRACE OF GOD THEY ARE AT LEAST LETTING US GO SOMEWHERE ELSE AND NOT HAVE US TRAPPED HERE? I DO AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY SO I WOULD APPRECIATE SOME COLLABORATION FROM YOU TWO AND STOP ARGUING FOR TEN MINUTES, TEN MINUTES IS ALL I ASK.”
As we were both heading out we heard mom say between tears “Miranda I need to talk to you.” We looked at each other before she turned back, I exited and entered my own room because even though it was 11:00 AM I needed a nap to allow my brain to process what had happened today, but before that I had to get a band aid for my bruise.
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March 22-30, 2019
Things had been well... Things, after the fight and talking to Miranda mom came into my room to talk to me about everything, guess it went relatively well, I guess we all just had that buried inside, this was actually kind of a usual thing you know? this kind of fights between us two, minus the phone to the head obviously, but I still love them would do anything for them, but yeah this time we cranked it up to a new level, my relationship with Miranda had been rocky at best, we hadn't really talked for the past week, under the umbrella of new and/or different things that happened this week, breakfast changed, I knew it was bound to happen, so we've been eating what I assume are alien MRE's, that to be honest are not that bad, needs more salt though, maybe I should expect alien food to be different, and that explains the love for maple syrup, but one question stuck with me, if this was their "food" then how sweet are their deserts? another option is that this is just how the MRE's taste, maybe homemade food was different.
But anyways, I had been also having small talks with Delara here and there nothing too serious, but today was the day we were supposed to see Sergeant Lyria to get our IDs, there were just some regular questions, got our photos taken that this time I made sure to look good, despite the bruise on my forehead, I had to give many explanations, if I didn't want them to arrest Miranda, they seem to be really protective of males, but all in all I looked good in the picture, way better than any other I had taken before, and the IDs themselves were purple as most things seemed to be, that got me wondering what if we made our things on the skin tone scale, like they do to purple, or maybe it was another reason that wasn't so weird, I'll have to ask that next chance I get, but yeah in general terms things were... ok.
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I was laying down in the sofa of the hotel lobby, again I was reading, then I sit up as I see Delara coming my way "Hey Jeriiel."
Well at least she says it properly now or at least close to it, "Hi Delara." I said as I raised my fist to fist bump her which she had explained to me that it was the equivalent of handshakes.
"How are you doing?" she asked, her pronunciation having a substantial improvement.
"I'm doing fine, what about you?"
"Doing well, but how about your mother and sister, are things ok now?" she asked while sitting in the chair in front of the sofa across from the little coffee table, she had been checking up on me whenever she had the chance.
"Doing better, though mom is a little stressed with the moving thing, understandably so." I responded
"How about you though? heard y'all were also moving?" I asked sipping from a bottle of water.
"Oh yeah they stablished base and we live in two weeks, just enough to say goodbye." Delara said maybe with a little bit of sadness in her voice.
"I guess." I said a little sad that I wouldn't see my friend anymore, maybe she was an alien invader but I still considered my friend, and believe me that is something a needed quite a bit
Then we saw Miranda and mom coming back from a walk, with the lockdown lifted the first thing we did was walk somewhere, we have never been in North Carolina, what we did notice was the atmosphere felt weird, not the atmosphere as in the actual gas surrounding the planet but more in the vibes people gave, there some sketchy characters for sure, and some other people who clearly didn't like the new people, there were arrests, shootings, and other things I can't remember at the moment, I didn't know how their government worked or what laws they had, but if they took away guns, I couldn't not feel bad for whoever was put in charge of the south, long days were ahead of them.
"Bendición ma." I said as they walked through the door, "How did it go?"
"Really good actually, the weather is cooler now." she said while looking at me then noticed Delara sitting down.
"Oh uh- h- hello, D- De- Delara."
"Hi Mrs. M- Me- Mejia." she said while waving, to which my mom waved back.
"I'm going to the room." said Miranda avoiding Delara as much as possible
"I think I should go with her." said mom as she waved goodbye
**sigh* "*Hope things can get better." I said while returning to my book.
"I'm sure they will, me and my siblings fight all the time, and in the worst cases we are back to normal after a week or two." Delara said trying to support me.
"Yeah, I don't think this falls under the same category but thanks." I said as the communicator in her helmet buzzed
\Buzz* *buzz**
"I have to go." Delara said as she stoop up and fist bumped me, putting her helmet on and heading out
'At least she knows how to use I now'
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First / Previous / Next
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WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO GET YOUR ANSWERS
Surprise chapter, I guess?
I was feeling inspired and couldn't wait to post it next week.
As always any suggestions and corrections are welcomed.
Thanks again.

I want to play through the questline, and everything worked as intended (courier showed up, mercenaries and i went to Ancient Ascent), however when i got to Ancient Ascent this keeps happening.
I don't know what causes this, nor do i know how to fix it.
Any help is appreciated.
Modlist
(ps. the lag is only in the clip, ingame it runs smoothly)

Framework 16'' is scheduled to launch "late 2023". What does this typically means? Before Christmas?
I ask this because I will be leaving the U.S. in January 2024 (and Framework does not ships to my home country) and was wondering if I should take the risk and pre-order it or look for other options. I know that there are no sure way of knowing (and delays may happen). But if anyone could drop past experiences, it would be useful for me to take a decision.

As the title says, people (usually older than me, but not always) tell me that I am "mean" or "rude". Everytime this happens, it genuinely confuses me as I try my hardest to do what people consider "nice" to stop being told that Im mean. It has come from multiple bosses and a couple of peers. I try to be attentive in conversations, start conversation with people I dont know well, help out extra at work and try to maintain a cheery tone. But I just keep being told that I am mean or sassy or rude. Any advice is greatly appreciated because this is genuinely affecting my mental health.

TW:Abuse. I am 24 years old for reference.
I am a victim of sexual abuse. It happened when i was a kid- through someone i dearly loved and trusted and no one in my family knows about it. I come from a conservative family who would make and create a fuss about this situation,and i don’t wanna discuss this with them anyway after so many years.
But since then any kind of intimate interaction has been very difficult for me.
Another reason why i feel so traumatised with anything related to this is because since i was young i have been conditioned to see things like sex, masturbation as ‘wrong’ doings. I have always lived with a fear that my mom is gonna scold me if she even sees my hand between my legs, let alone if she finds out i slept with someone which is kind of very ironical of what i went through with the abuse.
I have been scolded and punished when my mom saw my innocent texts to my boyfriend ( had zero illicit stuff). I have been so traumatised with expecting how they are gonna act around any thing near to intimate in my life that even in a different country my biggest fear is what if they find out? My mind would create worst case scenarios of how someone will tell my parents i did something and once they come to know at that point its just better to end everything of your existence.
I have worked alot through this to get myself better and was able to make out with a few guys but i never found a guy whose intentions and feelings were worth taking risk of reliving my trauma.
I do imagine and fantasize about doing the deed with someone but i dont think i will ever be able to do that especially seeing the amount of guys who just wanna get into your pants. I dont think anyone would understand the burden of this trail of thoughts.
I very deeply believe that now sex would just be a task for me and never a thing i would enjoy because of the the amount of fear i have around it. i would never enjoy it. I just wanna feel loved and i think cuddling and hugging and stuff would be more of my love language and not the intimacy.

I went to korea with a good friend of mine from college. We were close because of our rocky relationship with our families. We made time for each other to hang out. I noticed things about her such as her not saying bye before leaving or getting edgy/ pissed out of nowhere if we walked too much or she was tired when hanging out. However we’d spend like 2 or 3 hours together at most so I never really noticed nor cared.
Anyways, we created an itinerary for korea and there was no real pressure to do everything. However, as this was a rare trip we did put time into it and plan out different days in the hopes of visiting many of the places. First city was great, she did get tired and id venture out on my own via uber taxi while she lazed in bed. Second place we stayed at was an island, we rented out a car and i was paying half of the costs. Yet, i foolishly didnt get an international permit and she would not let me drive as she did not want us to get in trouble, which i can understand. But basically shed get up when she wanted to and do like 1 or 2 of the thing we had added to the itinerary. Plus put on cringey songs and snap her fingers real loud. And sing along for attention. Id put my headphone in and pretend i didnt notice her.
I got annoyed of her pretty quickly. Because 1. We would go to the same place yet she’d walk like 1 street ahead of me. As in she wouldnt wait for me - she would just walk ahead and not look back. 2. I studied korean for almost 5 years but my korean is not good and i say as much to everyone. Yet SHE would flex after saying one word in korean and say she sounds like a native korean person but the weird demented accent that she did - did not sound natural at all. I just stayed quiet while she bragged. Then shed talk about how rich she is and her family too. One day we went shopping and i had to wear face masks to protect the merchandise from my makeup. The store lady asked her if she is wearing makeup and she looks at me and goes “no i dont need a mask. im a natural beauty.” When i vented about my acne from all the travel she goes its because of all the makeup. i wear makeup every day. And i never wear a lot yet i get acne now because of all the traveling. She wanted to tag along to meet my old friends and host family from korea and visit my old college but it didnt happen.
Once we arrived back in the states, she was flexing about how whatever she wants she gets and all about her rich family and i told her my family is well off too (because they are and thats nothing to flex abt) and she goes yeah but my family actually spends on me. Cool. But not enough to get her an uber home for $100. My parents told me to ask her if she needs a ride. I didnt want to i mean she’s rich right? But i asked. And she accepted my parents ride. Right after we dropped her off 30 mins away, she requested $180 from our trip which i will be sending. But i have cut all contact with her. I just dont value this friendship especially with her toxicity.
But my mom thinks i am overthinking things and its rude to just cut someone off that you have known for so long because she is the staycation type while i am more into experiences. I don’t think so.
What do you guys think? Am I overthinking/picky?

Yesterday I was chatting with bard for about an hour and this was the result 😳, I created a rule for it to follow. If you want to know what the rule does and see the conversation just let me know.
ignore my writing skills.
Yes this is my first post on social media and I am happy to start with reddit.
Just to inform those who doesn't know what Bard AI is it is a Google chat bot and still under experiment so mistakes happens, I don't know much about AI I would love to hear why this happened.