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Argh . . . even with blackout blinds and an eye mask all it takes at this time of year is to have something disturb my sleep anywhere near sunrise, and I'm lucky to get another half hour or so of fitful "sleep".
Not the case this morning - I couldn't even manage a light doze over the next 45 minutes, before I just gave up and got out of bed - and I didn't even get six hours' sleep in total. This is not good for me.
I love Summer. I love the long days and the light in the evenings. I do not love the lost sleep in June and early July. In the past it has caused me serious mood issues on occasion - and I've got enough stressors on my plate right now to not need heightened depression and/or anxiety added to the mix.
Anyone else here have this problem? What do you do to mitigate it?

I recently graduated. I am selling a broken-down car that I have been driving during my broke college years, which has transmission issue and other costly problems. The car is about 13 - 14 years old. However, the exterior still looks nice and the interior is well kept and clean. I am transparent about the issues on my ad and still receives a lot of requests for a showing.
Whenever I am showing my car to someone, I can’t stop feeling bad about selling this piece of junk to them, and I am honestly concerning about their safety if they ever decides to buy it, because I don’t feel safe driving my car. I have had a fair share of used bad cars where the sale people wouldn’t disclose the issues to me, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I know I could never work in sales.
Please don’t advice if you feel bad, don’t sell it. I just wanted to know if you ever had the same feeling or how to overcome this.

Since the start of my gender journey a couple months ago I've been having memories resurface of stuff I've done or though that may have been early indicators of stuff going on with my gender. I'll admit I perhaps wasn't the egg-iest of teens, but I still found myself idly wishing that I could have been a girl from time to time.
And while I am (a bit) ashamed to admit that a good fraction of those thoughts came from porn, I do just generally remember thinking along the lines of "it's too bad that I'll never get to experience life as a girl", like I had been committed to one particular storyline in a video game or something, wishing that I could finish the main quest and start again on the other side to get the complete experience. I even got quite upset about it on one or two occasions, getting emotional about it at a time when depression had basically wiped out any emotional potential I had.
Mostly I blew it off as mere curiosity, but stuff like that happened a lot in various forms and with various triggers...and I'm kinda re-evalutating my entire past now. Even when my dysphoria is near non-existent (aka self doubt is high) I still find myself being curious about what life as a woman might be, and find myself being disappointed at the idea of not getting to experience that. It's a facet of existence I find myself wanting to explore, a way for me to better understand the totality of human existence I guess. I've spent over 20 years as a guy with moderate success, why not try existence as a girl now?
​
And yeah that's probably not very cis of me to think. In any case I'm curious.

Part VI
It was until three nights later when Kay was going stir crazy that I realized Jason had not told her about the dildo.
“God Damn. How am I going to go two weeks without it?” Kay said to no one in particular.
“He didn’t tell you? I was waiting for you to ask about it?” I said.
“Tell me what?”
“He gave me a life size model of his penis to use on you when you need it.”
“What! And you didn’t say anything!” She screamed.
“Sorry I thought I wasn’t supposed to talk about that.”
“You thought! You thought! Your a fucking idiot!” She screamed as she left the room.
She came back in on the phone. “Uh huh. Yeah I told him as much”
“Oh you did?…..yeah ok. How many?……yes I can do it……bye” she hung up. And left the room again. After a minute she called me into the living room.
“Strip.” She said. I quickly took off all my clothes. She threw a pair of panties at me. “From now on these are all you were inside this house.”
“Yes” I said as I put them on.
“God your pathetic. Come over here and bend over the chair”
“What? I’m sorry ok. Can’t we act like it’s somewhat normal around here while she’s gone?”
“Normal? Your standing wearing women’s underwear and you didn’t even fight me on it. Now get over here!”
I walked over and bent over the chair. That’s when I noticed she had gone upstairs to grab one of Jason’s belts he must of left here and I started to worry.
“Please Kay take it eas…..” Whack! “Aaaaah!” I screamed. Whack! Whack! Here come the tears. Whack! “That’s right cry you sissy.” Whack! When did she get so mean? Whack! I was just openly sobbing now begging for it to stop. “I put up with your tiny dick for too long. I am not going back. You understand?” Whack! “You will learn to listen!” Whack! “Oh please stop crying.”
“I’m…..sor…sorry” I tried to get out between tears. “I will listen I promise. Let me show you I can listen”
“I hope so. Met me upstairs with the dildo in ten minutes.”
———-
I entered the bedroom with the blindfold in one hand and the dildo in the other. I sat down on the bed and put the blindfold on. Then I heard the sounds of my wife taking off her clothes. I was instantly hard. It had been so long since I have seen her body. What I wouldn’t give to take a peek. My sore ass stopped me I didn’t want another punishment.
“I see your little hard on.” She said. “You’ll have no need for that”
“I know” I responded sadly. I then took the didlo out and started to guide my way to her pussy.
“Not so fast dear” Kay said. “We need to lube it up a bit.” She grabbed from my hand. “Open up”
“Whaaaa” was I could get out before she shoved it in my mouth.
“There you go” she said as she pumped it in and out. “You’re a natural!”
I don’t know what came over me but I was getting really into it. Trying my best to take as much as I could. Never thought I would be blowing a didlo in front of my wife but here I am getting off on it.
“That should do” she pulled it out. “My god I can’t believe how much you enjoyed that. Sucking cock, wearing panties…. I think we are going to have to give you a l new name. You are no longer the Jay I knew. But first it’s time for you to do your job.” She handed me the lubed up dildo and I guided it into hee soaking wet pussy. I doubt it needed anything to help it go in she was so ready.
I sat on the bed and pumped it in and out of her as she moaned with pleasure. I tired to keep up as she rocked her hips back and forth begging for more. For it faster. For it harder. I could feel her muscles tightening as she was getting close. Until she exploded in an amazing orgasm and collapsed on the bed. “Wow. Thank you” she said. “You can leave now.”
I slowly got up and left the room walked right into the guest room to jerk off but just as I was about to get started she called me back. As I got back to the room I put the blindfold back on.
“I’m dressed you can take that off.” She said. “I forgot to tell you no jerking off.” How did she know? “You have to earn it and honestly right now you are no where near any rewards. Clean up this mess” then she got up and walked out.
————
Oh shit! I forgot part of my instructions! I was supposed to remind Kay of my size while I used the dildo on her. There was still most of the two weeks left hopefully if I do it the rest of the time it will be ok.
The next night we got set up again me in the blindfold and dildo in hand. “You ready for a real cock.” I said. “Not like what I have”
“What do you have?” She asked as I slid it into her. “Ooooh. Yeeeeaaah”
“I have a small penis” I slid it in and out.
“Feels so good…..what do you have?”
“A tiny cock.”
“That’s it keep going” her hips started to move in line with my pumping.
“I could never make you feel like this. I don’t know how you stayed for so long.” She started moaning louder. “You deserve this.”
“Yes! Yes!” She started screaming
“I am forever indebted to you for allowing me to fuck you at all. My tiny cock is yours to ridicule” I was pumping faster and faster.
“YESSSS!” She said as she cam.
“I’m taking a shower. Clean this up” and she walked out.
——— The rest of the two weeks were intense. I tried my best to resist touching myself but there were a few times when I was alone that I was able to quickly jerk it. For the whole last week though I promised myself I would be good.
It was tough each night I would be blindfolded and then use the dildo on Kay. Sometimes she had me suck it first sometimes she needed it badly so I just went in her. Each orgasm was super intense as I could feel her tightening up just before she cam and collapsed back into bed.
On the last night Kay got on me hands and knees and had get right behind her. I was so close I could feel the sweat on her skin. Each moan rippled through me as I used the dildo on her. She got so into it and just hearing her was too much for me. I felt like I might cum myself. But just then she orgasmed and laid down.
“Wow. You are good with that.” She said. “Too bad you can’t do anything with yours.” As she said that she tapped my rock hard dick through my panties. That was all in needed and I cam with that little touch. Cum started leaking through.
“What the hell!” Kay said. “I told you no. And you cum on my bed that I share with Jason!”
“Sorry so sorry it’s just that I was…it had been so long.”
“Get out”
I quickly get off the bed and try and leave the room. But with the blindfold still on i tripped over something and land on the floor.
“Now you getting it all over the room! Jason is back here tomorrow. You have a lot of cleaning to do”
“Yes. I will take care of it. I’m sorry.” I say as I get up and leave the room
———-
The next day I spent most of it getting their bedroom ready for the night. (Woah even in my thoughts it’s their room now. What am I?) When it’s all done I meet up with Kay downstairs. I start to pick up all around her has she hasn’t been doing any chores for a while now and I notice there is a lot to pick up.
“So I have been talking to Jason.” Kay says “and he agrees you need a new name”
“Really. I mean think I have shown I can behave. Isn’t that enough”
“You haven’t shown us anything yet. You messed up Jason’s instructions while he was gone. You did listen to me about not jerking off. Don’t think I don’t know about how many times you touched that thing of yours.”
“Wha…”
“Think before you answer”
“Yes”‘I hung my head. “I did a couple times. But I was good all this week!”
“What was last night then!”
“That shouldn’t count. I didn’t even touch it”
“So it’s my fault!”
“No… “ she was staring at me. Waiting for me to continue. “It was mine. Sorry.”
“You should be. It’s disgusting that you cam on that bed. You should know better”
“Yes. I will do better”
“I hope so. Anyway back to your new name. I talked with Jason and we had a long discussion about the state of relationship we are all in. Do you know it has a name?”
“Aaaa”
“You do don’t you. I didn’t know I until Jason told me about it. But you know right?”
“Yes. I know. Cuckold."
“And you have know about this for a while right. Even before Jason?”
“Yes”
“How long?”
“I don’t know. But basically for as long as I can remember”
She started nodding. “That’s what he said. That you have always known because you have a such a small penis.”
“I guess that’s true” in that moment I got pretty upset. Even with everything that had been going on we hadn’t talked about the truth of the situation together.
“No need to get upset. This is a good thing. Now we both know what you are and we can grow from it.”
“I didn’t mean to hide it form you.” I started crying. “It’s just that I was so ashamed. And I thought you wouldn’t understand”
“It’s ok. I mean you should be ashamed because I expect you to be honest and your should be embarrassed having that small of equipment.” She motioned for me to come and sit by her. I did and I laid my head on her.
“So do you have a new name for me?”
“Yea we do. And I think it is a perfect fit.”
Just then there was a knock at the door.
“Cuck. Go answer the door.”
I got right up and did as I was told.
……

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Our corgi puppy is 13 weeks old and my husband and I have had her for nearly 3 weeks.
(this will be a rather long as I want to be as descriptive as possible, scroll down for TLDR)
Crate training (and really all other aspects of our new life with a puppy) has been a roller coaster of emotional struggles punctuated with regular bouts of self-doubt. Right now it feels like mostly bad times, but the good times get us through the worst moments.
I just had one of those worst moments. What we've been doing for bedtime is moving her crate from her playpen into our room. This has been going pretty well so far - she can now hold her bladder all night (yay!). I was super happy when I went to get her and saw her sitting in her crate in her playpen (milestone!) and gave her a treat calmly inside the crate. "She must be ready for bedtime," I thought. She came out and I moved the crate into the bedroom to the usual spot and brought her into the room. I lured her into the crate as we'd done all the nights before. She seemed a bit anxious so I did a mini crate training session. Then I did the "no more" and went to bed. She started to paw at the crate a lot (she has done this before but eventually settles) and I thought "Hey, maybe I can try opening the door, then she can decide when she wants to go in like she just did in the playpen". I puppy-proofed the room and opened the door. This is where things started to unravel. Without going into detail, everything that followed was awful. She got super over-excited and began biting me like a maniac. I was exhausted, on my last 3-4 treats, and holding back tears of frustration. I knew she wouldn't go back into her crate now and decided to bring her for a pee break and back into the playpen. Once she was in the playpen, I brought the crate back and went to bed feeling defeated. After a while I checked on her, and she was fast asleep! (outside the crate)
Here's the light bulb moment: I realised my mistake; I thought that I needed to keep doing what I had done before to keep the crate training progressing. But today she just wasn't ready to go into the crate for bed. Today, she went into the crate on her own and that's her own progress. I wasn't going at her pace, I was going at my pace. I was making it too hard for her. I should have left her in the playpen from the start! I was being stubborn thinking "THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, if I break the crate training streak it won't work," and not being sensitive or flexible to work with her instead. This really changes my perspective; she's got her own pace and I should respect that, be patient, and be open to seeing progress manifesting in other forms, even if less significant in my eyes.
I've got loads more to say but this is already a short novel. Happy to discuss more in the comments! (like how many other mistakes I made)
TL;DR: Puppy didn't settle for bedtime crating despite previous success. When moved out into playpen, where she was asleep before, she settled nearly immediately. I realised some days you can't make them stay in the crate (or do what you want). You need to go at their pace. They have their own mind. That's how force-free training works.

MENTAL LOG: 107
I find my time is near… it's getting harder to breathe, the realization that it's spreading through my body doesn't scare me any more… I can feel it fighting me for control, a pity, I thought I would last a lot longer than this… thinking you're invincible always means you're one step closer to knocking on hell's gate… and from that there is no escape, let me tell you that… To be honest the only thing that has kept me alive this long is clinging to the thoughts i'm slowly losing… the brain function it craves is what's keeping me alive, i would laugh out loud if i could remember how my body worked, strangely my own body feels foreign to me… but its almost taken over now… my time is falling out of my grasp, and there is no stopping this unyielding force… by the time this log is found i will have become nothing but dust on the ground as well as this intruder in my body… it would almost put a smile on my face, but i was never the type for that… I remember fondly how it started, me and my dreams… I chased them… and followed advice, the good and bad, the morally correct and the less savory advice… savory like chicken… I liked chicken… I remeber chicken… the smiles it brought to the faces of my family… chicken… my family… what were their names again?... chicken?... what's that?... I love chicken…

For those who don’t know, adderal is dextroamphetemine. One of the most addictive substances on Earth because it makes you feel better than your normal self, like anything’s possible, like you’re Superman.
I 2015 I used to have a gnarly adderal addiction to the point Id need to pop it just to feel normal. I didn’t quit until my Ex at the time left me over it.
That was the kick in the pants I needed to realize how bad I’d gotten.
I used these two simple strategies to escape the clutches of my addiction.
I hope this helps.

1. Progressive overload. Lifting the weight of addiction is like lifting normal weights. Go for a long as you can until your willpower gives out.

Then try to reach a new record.
I started out able to do 1 day for a few days. Then got to 3 days. Then 5 until I plateaued and asked if I should give up trying to quit thinking I just had an addictive personality and it’s pointless.
That’s when step 2 came in.

1. Cognitive reframing.

I was looking at my inability to quit as a failure over and over.
What I didn’t see though was I actually succeeded at making my addiction 3x weaker.
I started out taking adderal 7 times a week. But I’d managed to get it down to 1-2x a week. A 300% improvement.
I hadn’t successfully quit, but I’ve made significant gains.
The confidence I got from seeing how much I’d improved pushed me to keep going until I achieved escape velocity.
Taking adderal felt like a superpower to me, I started in 2013, I quit January of 2016 and haven’t touched it in nearly 7 years.
If I can do it with one of the most addictive substances on earth, so can you. Try it out.

I chatted with this guy for a month because he was away, talked on the phone a few times, and we finally met yesterday. The date was amazing, as amazing as our phone calls. And today, the day after, it was the same scenario as it nearly always is… Hours on end and no text from him. Then I texted first, still nothing. I went into a total freaked out overdrive, archived the chat, then an hour or so later deleted or not to text something stupid. And sure enough, as I was already spinning out of control, thinking that he had ghosted me, he texted me and we are now meeting on Saturday.
This happens nearly every. single. time. 99.9% of men I happen to date clearly don’t have anxious attachment… For them, it’s fine not to text or not to reply for several hours.
Now, yes, this is very early days, but I do have a good feeling about it. I like him and I think he really likes me too. But I want to stop deleting our chats and want to stop being triggered… I want to talk to him on Saturday. Yes, it’ll be our second date, yes, I know it’s too early, but I really want to talk to him about me needing consistency in communication.
How do I do that? What do I say, not to seem like a psycho?..

Recently I found out that I was written down as "not autistic", the particular tester had a lot of outdated views on autism such as "autistics don't graduate college, don't have relationships, etc" I know we argued about that.
I just got my testing done again and the tester told me the results should come as no surprise but I can't stop obsessing overing it. Autism has been a major part of my identity for nearly 6 years now in how I've identified, the friends I've made, the community. All my autistic friends know I'm autistic, I know I'm autistic but this nagging imposter syndrome voice in my head is constantly going "but what if you're not autistic"
I wish I could get my brain to stop obsessing.

Hello everyone,
To start out with as some background, I am 25M, with a bachelors degree in Business Admin (Concentration Finance). I graduated in 2022.
So as it currently stands I am working for a large financial firm as a contact center specialist. I speak to clients about their 401K’s with their previous employers. My current salary is $60k per year with a full company match and a 5% end of year bonus.
A few months ago I was going through licensing to pass the SIE, Series 6, and Series 63. I studied hard and passed each, and received a pay bump from $52K to my current $60K salary because of it.
As it stands I’ve just been going through the motions, technically my title is now a senior specialist, but my job is basically the same as before I had my licenses. I’ve been getting approached with opportunities by my manager about going for the Series 7 and 66, in order to receive a promotion to a more sales oriented role.
This would be a higher pay and higher bonus, and would open a lot of doors for me in the future, but the main issue is I am terrified of going for this and failing the exams because I would be putting my current employment at risk. My manager is being open and honest in stating if I go for this, they can’t guarantee my old position back if it doesn’t work out with licensing.
At this point I’m kind of just at a crossroads with what I wanna do, was wondering if you guys would be able to give me some insight or opinions.
Thanks in advance!

Hey there,
I am creating a sales department for a small business and I've come here seeking the wisdom of more seasoned individuals, should any of y'all be willing to help out somebody that's trying to learn this industry.
Some info about the business: A couple of friends have a small company that sells confections. Everything is D2C through their website. The website currently utilizes shopify for online sales, though in some cases they'll process large orders through Quick Books. This company has one person making the treats and one person on web/product design. They've got fantastic products and have received some wonderful accolades. I'm aiming to create a sales department (me) to help the company grow.
Info about me: I have very little experience in sales, though I've worked in various hospitality and customer service industries. I was a contractor for years and worked in people's homes. I am confident in my ability to talk to and relate to people. I am confident in my ability to market this product, as it's one I truly believe in. Lastly, I am confident in my ability to learn new things. However, I'm very aware that there's a lot I don't know and it's hard to know where to start - that's why I'm here.
Some questions that I have thus far: -What sort of CRM software should I look into? Ideally, something that could take over the D2C online sales and also allow me to make sales on my own. I'd like to find recurring customers and need a way to track this. Ideally something that won't break the bank. -Should I look into classes? I live rather close to a local community college and I'm sure they have some basic courses that might be useful, but I'm curious if academia is more or less useful than learning on the job/researching independently, I guess. -Are there online resources anyone recommends for people starting out? -This one may sound silly, but: is there anything else I need to be asking? I'm not shooting for too much hand-holding, just looking to be put on the right path.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

We just got a toy poodle puppy about 5 days ago and have been engaged in training him and getting him comfortable basically 24/7. However, he doesn’t understand a single basic command and is almost entirely not potty-trained — he has a vague idea of what a pee pad is and uses it to pee maybe 1/3 of the time, but he poops anywhere.
We can’t take him outside because he only has one round of vaccines and he is only scheduled for the next round in about three weeks, which means that’s gonna be a lot more time without real potty training happening.
Everything I read has me a bit stressed because everyone seems to assume that a 4-month old should already know sit, come, heel, leave it, etc, as well as be somewhat potty trained and crate trained. He only understands his name I think.
I’m trying to do all the baby steps that I see recommended for crate training, but even with me in front of it and with all his favourite toys, he cries like a baby the entire time the door is closed, even if it’s for two minutes. He also cries desperately if he is left in a room alone, even if I’m just in the bathroom and my partner is in his home office.
I signed him up for puppy classes starting next month, but they put him in the teen category since he will be 5 months by then, and I worry that it will be a waste of money since he is lacking so much basic training and they’re going to be teaching him more advanced things. It was the only option I found near me that could take him.
I’ve never had a dog before so any advice or insights are appreciated!

Hi, my cousin found his old Game Boy Color and gave it to me since he doesn't play anymore and I sold mine many years ago. I've started repairing it because the poor thing was in a terrible state.
I have 5 multi-game carts that are nearly 30 years old by now, and they mostly work on my Game Boy Pocket without issue. But only one of them works on the Color. The others either don't work, or only show the game menu arrow. If I pick a game in one of those, I only see some sprites but no background and no color at all. Normal Games I own (Pokemon Gold and Silver, Soccer, Hal Wrestling and Super Mario Land) work without issue.
I was wondering if this is normal for these cartridges (I can't remember whether they worked with my old Game Boy Color, to be honest, I only had it for a very short period of time). And I'm also a bit worried because I ordered a flash cart from Aliexpress and now I'm fearing maybe there's something wrong with the console itself and it might not load the flash cart at all.
Any help would be appreciated.

I finished high school, got a sales degree (A degree I needed to get into college), then dropped out after 2 weeks due to medical reasons.
I'm 19 now and want to go back to college in September, but the problem is that I don't see myself working in any of the degrees I can pick.
I don't want to work 40 hours a week at an office, I did that for an internship for 8 months and it mentally killed me.
I'm thinking about getting a programming degree because most of those jobs are going to be remote in the future and you usually don't have 40 hours of work every week. The problem with this however is that I never programmed before in my life and I don't know if I'll even like it.

I recently decided to add night rides to my biking routine. I'll always have somebody with me and we'll only ride easier trails that we know very well. The terrain will mostly be double track with some single track once in a while. Road/pavement will be almost non existent.
My son and I rode a nice trail last Friday and we had enough lumens to light up the trail (SC31 Pro, HS 10 headlamp, and T4 which is floody as hell). I wasn't thinking about what would work the best, just having fun.
I want to enjoy the beauty of the night and have somewhat minimal light (heresy I know). Having said that, I want to be able to have the capability of lighting ir up when needed.
Soooooo, what are the qualities of the light that I should look at? respectively floody? Somewhat tighter beam? Any particular tint (warm, really bright)?
I would like to avoid the whole "headlamp vs handlebar" discussion/arguments if possible. In the end i may run both. One thing I don't like about headlamps is that they are hard to fix them on my helmet (I know that can be fixed with a 3d printed attachment that griz and someone else discussed in an earlier post) and I frequently feel like I need to move my head to get the light on the party of the trail I need to see.
I'm not necessarily looking for a light recommendation, if I have to buy another light I don't want to buy a purpose built bike light and it needs to be affordable ($30-35 if possible).
Thanks all

I will probably delete this post but I am really scared. I need to write this and get perspective from other parents of ND kids / toddlers. I've read historical reddit posts on divorce that say, "leave them!", "Get out now!!", and I'm probably that person they're talking about.
I am beyond humiliated at this point to admit, but I am very likely to be divorced in the near future. I am at fault for this (alcoholism and attitude)...I am trying to make those changes, but results are everything and my partner isn't getting any. As with parenting an ND toddler, time and support is stretched so thin we've basically had 0 time to focus on our marriage, so without much foundation + my problems...I think she's going to, even if I changed.
So. I am still continuing my journey to be sober...but can anyone provide me some advice? Surely, SO will want (and get) 100% custody of my ND child because of my issues -- even if I fixed 'em, right??? I am the sole household income and SO is SAHM. I'm trying to improve but in the midst of it all my behavior has probably cost me my partner.
Sorry, I'm really panicky and don't know what to do. What can I do??????????? (yes, I am working on my alcoholism...). I see a therapist monthly. My job is stressful, but pays well.
We have a great family but, yeah. It's all my fault. I just want to prepare for the worst as rock bottom seems to be fast approaching. Losing the other stuff is temporary, I guess...but yeah...I've fucked up my family. TIA for your help.

Genuine question - why are Butternut banned? The reason I've been heard is association but not all Butternutters are banned. What gives? I think this deserves a serious amount of scrutiny by the broader player base and the admins should have to justify their decision to ban an entire group of people at the time they did.

1. When you ban an entire group of players off of the server for "association" right as some conflict kicks off that is obviously going to set my bullshit meter off immediately.
   
2. Given I've heard that various people have been compiling shit for a while and the head admin who seems to make all the decisions is Icenian that further sets off my bullshit meter.
   
3. The Icenians have had how many VPN accounts playing with them so far? Bullshit.
   
4. How is it that the very obvious and well known bannable offenses of some Icenians goes unbanned on this server and Icenia is not all banned for associating with that sort of person? This is my bullshit meter
   

So yes, I'll say it, there is obvious admin bias and as long as the kinds of behavior that I've seen from Icenia continue I have no sympathy for them. There are people in Icenia who played another server which shall not be named which I can only presume is the reason for the ban of the Butternutters. Even more importantly and concerningly there are those in Icenia who have taken things far out of the scope of the game and should be banned permanently on the scale of any of the RI bans, and if they are not banned permanently pearled for their conduct which I am almost certain the rest of them knew about. If harassment of people is unacceptable to the admins and against server policy and associating with people who are harassing people is against server rules, why are Icenia not all banned as a result using the same metric as the Butternut ban wave?
The state of CivMC/Bancraft warfare is to compile evidence into a dossier and hold onto it until something important happens and get as many of your enemies banned as possible it seems which is unfortunate. In previous iterations of Civ servers the admins would use bans as a scalpel, banning players for serious harm and actual citable offenses and now it seems we just blanket ban entire groups (despite other groups playing that same server) based on "association" for playing the wrong server or talking to the wrong people outside of this server or anything related to this server specifically.
In addition to all of those observations, let me just make another one:
Why are the admins telling me who I can and cannot "associate" with at all? Who are they to tell me who to talk to? How enforceable is that while not even utilizing their services? I don't play with certain people or talk to certain people if I can help it because I just don't like them or their attitude and find them off-putting or downright deplorable but I am a grown ass adult and I don't give a shit if some Minecraft admin tells me I can't play their server with a dwindling population hanging on by a thread on a nearly moribund genre which in the grand scheme of things doesn't even amount to a genre on the scale of towny or factions or even some lame bullshit like Stoneworks.
If Minecraft is a whale, we are the barnacle on the ass of that whale, not even barely noticeable on its own and banning entire groups of players for associating with certain people doesn't change that fact and actually diminishes any minimal influence or potential for growth this community may have. Banning entire groups for "association" while not banning the same group that very clearly is supportive of that ban for the same offense is obviously bullshit and not banning that same group for associating with even worse offenses really makes you wonder what is actually going on behind the scenes.

FreeButternut

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I decided to realize society put this fake family stuff on a pedestal to much for me. They haven’t done any documentaries or discussion about people who operate in this world without relatives in their lives. I am (27F) a person who come from poverty. My father was not a good dude invested into my life as a young woman and my mother is a covert jealous narcissists. Both emotionally neglected me all my life, my father ended up with a deadly illness that took his life.
I didn’t even feel depressed or sad when he passed away. I actually was able to have closure because of the hurt I did have pinned inside of me. I was raised around really dumb people and I had to raise myself majority of my life. They never truly protected me, guided me, helped me, and been a true support system. I didn’t have the normal life of a normal child and teenager. My family entirely are selfish, narcissistic, abusers, assholes and suffer from mental health issues.
Being 19 I had my first apartment alone managing all my bills. I was thrown out into the streets by my mother who never cared if I died or starved. I decided to go permanently no contact with this woman because she showed betrayals to many and jealousy. I realized will not ever help these people at all, and learned I don’t owe relatives anything. These people are going to be in senior homes alone which I don’t care about.
Once I started to do better my family tried to come around me for financial reasons and use me like a fucking cash cow after not being a good family.
I realized I don’t love them and have no feelings for them like none of my relatives I ever felt safe with or trustworthy of. They were people I once knew but I have no bond with them and have them near my life today. It’s a good feeling to know that. I let go of trying to seek their validation or playing fake family for gatherings or fake conversations. I put myself first to not deal with them when everytime I see their face or hear them I just brings back memories of my past.
I am happy to let this go and move on.

When I started including my LO in my hobbies I was worried it would be disastrous, but while it does get messy and a little chaotic, it’s so much fun to share my passions with him and see him start to enjoy it too! We’re currently into gardening, where he helps me water plants and he loves to smell flowers and herbs with me. I’ve been including him in cooking as much as possible and today we even baked a loaf of bread together. I was huge into cycling before I got pregnant and he’s even taken to his little balance bike and I can’t wait for family bike rides.
This is by far one of my favorite parts of parenting a toddler.
What hobbies do y’all like to do with your kids?