Breakfast in denham springs

I live rurally in Nova Scotia, Canada, and need AWD. I don't need a truck but a small/mid size SUV is essential for snow clearance and traction. I currently drive a 2008 Honda Pilot which not long for this world. I'd love to be in a CRV, Rav, or ideally a CX5. I'm not seeing any great deals for used (all 20k+ for 150km), and I'm wondering if that meets the threshold to just go for it and buy something new? I can put a large downpayment down to mitigate interest.
TLDR: if im looking at used SUVs in the 20-25k range, shoudl i just spring for a new one?

I grew up in a very toxic, unstable environment. My dream is to find that feeling of home and have a space that’s stable, safe and secure.
I somehow had this conversation of home the first night I ever met my now fiancé, when we were randomly talking about our childhood. I told him the concept of “home” is so important to me, and I’m very particular about the environment I live in. I can only hope that one day I can achieve that. My fiancé owns a construction company, and we’ve been browsing houses to purchase over the last year, but none ever felt quite right. We viewed a piece of land out in the deep country last spring that is absolutely divine, and we talked about how we wished we could purchase it and build a dream home on it. I had never thought we could actually do it.
Little did I know, not long after my fiancé made the decision to purchase the land and start building. Our anniversary was this past weekend, and he told me he had a surprise for me. He blindfolded me, put me in the passenger seat and giggled like a 5 year old the whole way there. When I removed that blindfold and took in what I was looking at, I couldn’t even believe it. After asking “are you serious.....?” About 10 times, I started bawling. It has everything I’ve always talked about. A quaint, classic farmhouse design, a wrap around porch, a mud room at the front with a double entry like I’ve always said I wanted (it makes me feel safe, I don’t know why) and while it’s not quite finished like it was supposed to be yet, because of everything going on in the world, it’s absolutely perfect. I truly can’t believe I have this much good luck with this perfect man after spending a lifetime not knowing where home was, or how that felt. Now I know.

Hello,
I have an interesting opportunity I was wondering if anyone with an objective opinion might.
Currently employed at job A, in tech. A well regarded and fast growing company hoping to IPO in the next 2 years.
Salary near the top of the market for my position, with 15% bonus. Unlimited PTO and fair benefits. Remote job located 3 timezones away. Poor manager who is nice but inexperienced. This causes me uncertainty and doubt.
I was just offered a job in medical field (considered very stable) with nearly the exact same base salary (within $300 per year) but with 10% bonus and identical benefits. 20 days of PTO per year and unlimited sick leave. The manager is someone I’d consider a mentor with whom I had a good professional relationship with a previous company. We were both IC’s then. There’s an apparent, yet not spelled out, growth pathway. It’s also close to home but is remote.
I’m also burned out from a hard professional spring that was sprinkled with constant illnesses from my kids.
What do you think?

For my birthday I decided I really needed a break. Specifically, I hate to say it, but from my toddler. She's 4, waiting on an ASD diagnosis, and an absolute joy but so so hard.
I was going to just go away by myself but then I was thinking about how much my 8 year old was clearly needing some one-on-one time with me and decided to take her too.
So we're going to a little hot springs tourist trap a couple hours away in the mountains. We're going to listen to music in the car without being yelled at and go on water slides without having to worry about a toddler and go out to eat without the stress of an impending autism meltdown. My kid is so freaking excited. We're staying overnight in a hotel and going to watch movies and eat junk food. I am actually pretty darn excited too. Feeling a bit guilty at leaving my husband and 4 year old behind, because I know they would both love to come, but I am assuaging that guilt with the knowledge that my eldest could also really use this break. (She absolutely adores her little sister, but the 4 year old can get very hyper-focused on her and it can be a lot.)
Anyway, we leave tomorrow. We've already started packing. I've got snacks. I've got restaurants planned for all meals. I threw up yesterday after some dodgy sushi but I'm feeling better. Wish us luck!
P.S. Also, the 4 year old doesn't really get what's happening but she's has been OBSESSED with baking lately and it's kind of turned into the thing she and my husband do together, so he's promised they can bake something on the weekend and she is super excited about that.

Hello all,
I’m currently 38. When I was in my early 20s I really ballooned. I genuinely had no concept that what I ate would lead to weight gain - no real appreciation of nutrition. At my heaviest I was just over 14 stone and am 5 foot 7.5 in height.
When I was 25, my father in law died very suddenly which scared me into losing weight. I did this by walking 25 mins every day, a little bit of running and by being incredibly strict about what I ate. I would aim for no more thab 1200 calories a day.
I also started weighing myself many times a day. It developed to the point where I would be desperate for a bowel movement in order to see the scales go down, I would be afraid of drinking anything before 12pm in case it affected my daily weigh in at 12.30pm. I was constantly tired and hungry. I would be afraid of work gathering where lunch was provided as I couldn’t control what I ate.
A typical daily eating regime would be porridge (oatmeal) and fruit for breakfast, eggs on toast for lunch and tuna salad with a baked potato for tea. My wife was insistent that I wasn’t eating enough, however I convinced myself that I looked good and thin (she says I was gaunt.)
I would also treat myself to a big feast on my Friday day off (normally domino’s pizza in the evening) which I would then need to be strict over to get rid of all that I had eaten.
This continued til about 2021. I remember going out with my wife for lunch and having a huge stress moment about what I was going to eat. At that moment I realised I needed help and sort out a nutritionist.
Since July 2021 then, I haven’t used my scales once and have tried to eat more normally.
HOWSVER: the cost of this is that I have put weight on. My wife insists I look good but all I can see is fat. As I type this I am sitttinf here looking at my stomach going over my waist band - at my thinnest it was flat. For what it’s worth, all my clothes still fit and I haven’t had to buy any bigger.
The problem is I feel I have lost the discipline I once enjoyed: I was so strict with what I ate, when I ate and with exercise, but I feel that the cost of eating more normally means I have lost that discipline.
I am terrified of putting any more weight on. I am about to go out with some friends for a curry as a leaving do and all I can think about is how I look, what I will eat etc. I think about my weight each and every day.
Nothing really that can be said but just needed to share how crippling it is.

Hello all,
I’m currently 38. When I was in my early 20s I really ballooned. I genuinely had no concept that what I ate would lead to weight gain - no real appreciation of nutrition. At my heaviest I was just over 14 stone and am 5 foot 7.5 in height.
When I was 25, my father in law died very suddenly which scared me into losing weight. I did this by walking 25 mins every day, a little bit of running and by being incredibly strict about what I ate. I would aim for no more thab 1200 calories a day.
I also started weighing myself many times a day. It developed to the point where I would be desperate for a bowel movement in order to see the scales go down, I would be afraid of drinking anything before 12pm in case it affected my daily weigh in at 12.30pm. I was constantly tired and hungry. I would be afraid of work gathering where lunch was provided as I couldn’t control what I ate.
A typical daily eating regime would be porridge (oatmeal) and fruit for breakfast, eggs on toast for lunch and tuna salad with a baked potato for tea. My wife was insistent that I wasn’t eating enough, however I convinced myself that I looked good and thin (she says I was gaunt.)
I would also treat myself to a big feast on my Friday day off (normally domino’s pizza in the evening) which I would then need to be strict over to get rid of all that I had eaten.
This continued til about 2021. I remember going out with my wife for lunch and having a huge stress moment about what I was going to eat. At that moment I realised I needed help and sort out a nutritionist.
Since July 2021 then, I haven’t used my scales once and have tried to eat more normally.
HOWSVER: the cost of this is that I have put weight on. My wife insists I look good but all I can see is fat. As I type this I am sitttinf here looking at my stomach going over my waist band - at my thinnest it was flat. For what it’s worth, all my clothes still fit and I haven’t had to buy any bigger.
The problem is I feel I have lost the discipline I once enjoyed: I was so strict with what I ate, when I ate and with exercise, but I feel that the cost of eating more normally means I have lost that discipline.
I am terrified of putting any more weight on. I am about to go out with some friends for a curry as a leaving do and all I can think about is how I look, what I will eat etc. I think about my weight each and every day.
Nothing really that can be said but just needed to share how crippling it is.

I would love to hear what your journey with climbing and motherhood has been. Honestly, I’d just love to read the variety of experiences.
I’m not looking for help, nor do I want to take up a ton of space, but here’s mine.
My daughter is about to be a year old. I mainly do moderate, long multipitch on gear. I get into the alpine as well. I’ve been climbing for nearly a decade - had lots of highs and lows. Been in a serious accident. Rebuilt my shoulder a year later. Got pregnant a year after that.
I climbed, outdoors, on lead throughout my pregnancy cuz I felt cozy and it kept my mental health from completely collapsing.
My journey back to climbing PP was long, hard, and riddled with setbacks. Once I hit about 9 months PP I felt stronger than ever physically - mentally I was a hot mess. I went out to red rock to climb a very easy route and just cried the whole time. Bailed on the last pitch. I had been getting no sleep, I was sick for 8 straight weeks along with my daughter. I was just exhausted. Despite this I still had fun, which was a new feeling for m usually I’d have some sense of disappointment, but I still questioned if I should be climbing. I love it. I want it. But I just kept wondering if all the effort I was barely scrapping up to pour into it was worth it.
Then, I climbed the hardest route I’ve ever climbed this spring. I didn’t lead, but I didn’t care. It was an old-school sandbag. It felt great, jamming my way up a tower. Tower summits are so damn amazing. It was a style of climbing I don’t excel at (enough offwidth bd chimney to grovel and swear lol). I was SO beat up it took me about a month to not have insane back pain. I ended up in PT. But damn did that feel amazing!
A month later I led a desert tower that was at grade for me. It took sooo much longer than I thought. I loved working through the moves, but I realized that my head space has changed…a lot. I was comfortably uncomfortable. Again, I was so in love with the beauty and the challenge, but my mind was asking if the mental load was worth it.
I’ve been out a few times since. And I realized that for me, it’s worth it. I just love how nothing else matters on the wall. I don’t care what I’m climbing or how I’m climbing it - objectives have fallen by the wayside cuz who cares? I climb for me.
I don’t move as efficiently as I used to. I take a lot. I get nervous a lot. My head game isn’t the same and it’ll likely be a while before i have that spark. I don’t have the kind of time I used to have. So if I want to go do something bigger, I kinda just have to go for it and meet myself where I’m at.
And I’m starting to really fall in love with that space. Where before it would be something to overcome or work through. Now it’s just enjoyment.
It’s really cool to appreciate something in a whole new way.
It’s just different for now, but it’s still a lot of fun. I’m not upset or yearning - although it would be nice to get outdoors a bit more often. I’m actually proud. And stoked.

I'm getting married in Spring 2024 with around 140 guests, weather might be chilly with outdoor venue. The food is Chinese cuisine with 10 people per table sharing different kind of food. I already have my catering vendor including servers, but I feel like I still need more type of food (like salad or soup for example) so my guests will have more to choose from. I'm thinking to set a food station where I'll order more trays of food/soup and leave it out above the disposable food warmers. So basically I'll have servers bringing the main dishes and guests will get other additional food from the tray by themselves.
Does this sound tacky? If it is I'm more than happy to hear ideas from you guys. Thanks!

Three days ago, my housemates were alive.
And I wasn't losing my fucking mind.
Three days ago, I awoke to my housemate, Misty, shaking me.
“Get up!!”
Misty was usually the last to roll out of bed out of all of us, so I figured it was something important. My housemate wouldn’t get out of bed for nothing. She valued her sleep—often comparing her bed to a safe haven. Her place of solitude. I was right there with her, until she startled me out of slumber. I opened my eyes to find her face roughly three inches from mine, her expression lit up with excitement I couldn’t justify this early in the morning.
She smelled of toothpaste breath and her raspberry scented body wash. Her thick black curls framing her face were still damp from what I presumed was a shower, hanging in tangled knots in front of wide, almost unseeing eyes. When I first met her, Misty Kang had been my crush for a while. With a Korean father and a Texan mother, she definitely caught eyes when we hung out. We had a thing in freshman year, which quickly fizzled out once we started living together. Never date your housemates.
I will just say that.
Over the last few years, Misty has become one of my closest friends.
When she knew I was at least conscious, my housemate was grabbing my arm and yanking me out of bed. “Get up!”
I was barely awake, and those were the only words I could fully distinguish.
I shooed her away for a moment and swung my legs out of bed, taking a minute to blink sunlight out of my eyes coming through the blinds. “Sam.” Misty was in front of me again.
I don’t think she understood the concept of being half asleep.
She wouldn’t leave me alone, waving her arms wildly. Her shadow under the soft morning light almost reminded me of one of those inflatable tube guys.
“Huh?” My voice was a low croak, and her smile widened.
“Guess who’s just scored tickets for an actual screening of the first five minutes of gameplay for the most anticipated game of the decade?”
“What?” Her string of words wasn’t making sense in my caffeine deprived mind. It just sounded like gibberish to me, initially.
Like we were in some cheesy commercial, she was the lead, and I was the confused NPC with the WTF expression. But when I went over it in my head, words started to slide together like a jigsaw puzzle. Misty didn’t get excited about video games. Well, she did. Though, my housemate was one to get excited on behalf of someone else. After living with her for a while now, I had concluded she was a follower.
By that, I mean whatever others thought or did or said, she copied it. If her Twitter followers were mad at bad takes, she would drop all of her own opinions on said follower and focus on what other people said. We had Korean barbecue for takeout the other day, and Misty clearly did not like it from the creased look on her face, and her very obviously spitting it politely into a napkin.
Jay, my other housemate, liked it.
And so did I. So, naturally, Misty announced she wanted more.
I had to watch her suffer through two more portions before she excused herself—presumably to throw up. Blinking at my housemate who was clearly excited for Jay, I resisted the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes.
“Slow down. What game? What are you talking about?”
I got out of bed and threw on my robe, half aware of the mess from last night on my desk. Another attempt to finish an essay which just wasn’t happening. The monster energy cans and takeout Chinese wrappers were embarrassing. I got a basic run-through as I headed downstairs with Misty right behind me, practically breathing down my neck. From what I understood, there was a Reddit post.
That was all I got from Misty’s squealing. She leapt down the stairs after me with a spring in her step. The clock above the front door told me it wasn’t even 9am. The smell of bacon, however, was quick to arise me from the dead.
Jay was in the kitchen making breakfast. I noticed his laptop was open on the table, and every so often he’d peer at it with wide, almost disbelieving eyes. Jay and Misty were complete opposites, which made them great people to live with. Jay was a quiet book who was slightly on the pretentious side, routinely quoting something philosophical to piss me off.
He had rich parents on the other side of the world, but the guy himself was fairly humble and had mostly detached himself from said family.
My housemate was usually well put together. In fact, I barely saw him in his pajamas, excluding game nights. That morning, however, he was a disheveled mess, still in yesterday’s clothes.
He offered me a grin. I glimpsed sauce from last night’s dinner still staining his chin. Jay hadn’t brushed his hair or even put on deodorant.
I caught a whiff of BO when he ducked in front of me, his gaze glued to his MacBook. It was rare when Jay ignored basic hygiene, so yeah, I was going to guess this was a pretty huge thing. “I did tell her not to wake you up, y’know.”
His slight aussie accent was always refreshing on a morning. Born in Australia and moving to the states when he was ten years old, Jay still had a slight tinge in his accent. I had seen pictures of his family, and the guy had definitely gotten most of his dad’s genes, thick brown hair, and freckles. While his dad was built like a pro wrestler however, Jay was leaner like his mom.
I shrugged. “I was already awake.”
“Liar.” He didn’t look away from his laptop.
Looking closer, I glimpsed the Reddit homepage.
“So, you have won something.”
Jay didn’t answer. I could tell he was excited by the way he could barely keep still, bustling around the kitchen, barefoot. “Coffee?”
His voice was more of a Misty-like squeak, and I half wondered for a moment if they had switched bodies, or he had at least become one with my other housemate through a chemical explosion. In our kitchen, which was yet to be cleaned after a cooking disaster several nights ago, I wouldn’t be surprised if something was living on the countertop. I nodded, slumping into a chair. “What’s going on? Why is Misty freaking out?” I nodded at his laptop. “She said you’ve won something?”
As if my housemate couldn’t hold it in anymore, he nodded, turning his screen towards me. “You know____, right?”
“Yes.” I sipped my coffee, eyeing a toaster strudel sitting on the countertop. "You mean the game which has been coming out for a decade."
He ignored that. “Well, what if I told you one of the developer’s posted on the official sub this morning?”
“For _____?"
He nodded with a grin, and I wondered it this was one of those rare times when Jay was blindly looking through a red flag to see what he wanted. I had heard of these types of scams, and Reddit was a breeding ground for them.
Gamers were pretty intense. I didn’t realize I was pulling a face until I caught his lips curving into a smile. Jay was usually the skeptical one.
“You don’t believe me.”
I downed my coffee to avoid replying. When I had drained the cup, he was still staring at me with amused eyes.
“What?”
“You think it’s bullshit.”
I shrugged. “You said it,” I said. “I’m pretty sure that game isn’t even partway through development. Didn’t Twitter leak a still last year? Also, they’ll be bringing out a new console before that game comes out.”
I leaned back in my chair. “It’s more of a pipe dream, at this point.”
“The leaks were fake,” Even he didn’t look sure. “Anyway, that’s not the point. One of the dev’s posted on the official sub this morning. He asked if we were all excited for the new game, asked if we could post some of our favorite NPC dialogue, and he’ll DM winners.”
“Uh-huh.” I nodded at the screen. I had already checked my phone for an internet meltdown concerning this post, but there was nothing. “And where is that post now?”
Jay didn’t look at me. “It was deleted. So it only reached a certain number of people.”
“Oh, it was deleted?” I couldn’t resist a smile. “What a coincidence.”
When I laughed, Jay scowled, showing me his screen—navigating his trackpad to his Reddit DM’s.
To my surprise, there was actually a message from what I guessed was a throw-away account.
While I was skim reading the DM, Misty hurried in, all dressed and ready for the day. I peeked at her outfit from Jay's laptop. Cute.
Extravagant, but cute. My housemate cranked the radio up before bouncing between us, a toaster strudel hanging out of her mouth.
Misty was a living animated character. Ignoring her wide smile, I turned back to the screen. “Congratulation!!” The DM started with capitals.
It took me reading it twice to realize there was a clear spelling mistake. I sent Jay a pointed look, but he was too busy practically vibrating with excitement. If the guy had any more caffeine, he was going to explode. “Since when did winning DM’s start with a typo?”
“I knew you were going to say that.” Jay curled his lip. “They were clearly excited when typing the message.”
“But this is supposedly an official,” I said. “Surely they would make sure it’s professional?”
My housemate didn’t reply, shooting a look at Misty, who rolled her eyes.
“Wow.” I squinted at the screen. “I am so sorry for caring about your safety. You do realize these types of scam’s usually end up with you being sold on the black market, right?”
I shuddered. “I’ve heard horror stories about underground markets specializing in illegal organ harvesting.”
“Or…” Jay’s eyes were glued to the screen. “You could be happy for me?”
I frowned at the rest of the message, which was just a capitalized freak-out about the upcoming release of the game, before inviting Jay (and a friend!) to a five-minute preview of gameplay, as well as a Q&A. There was a location and a time, which was brow-raising. “10 at night.” I said. “Who hosts a gaming convention at 10pm?” I leaned my chin on my fist. “Unless they wanted to lure as many gullible people as possible, and ship them to some organ harvesting factory on the other side of the world.”
Jay scoffed. “That’s dark.”
“You’re actually considering going to a 10pm gaming convention in the middle of nowhere. I’m trying to wake you up.”
Jay nudged me that time. “It’s real. Relax.”
“And.” I pointed to the screen. “No phones? Why would they ask you not to bring your phones?”
“To stop us filming content,” Misty sang. “Duh.”
I groaned, leaning back in my chair. “You’re on his side? This is clearly shady!” I didn’t get mad unless something was seriously pissing me off, and this was one of those times. Jay was a smart guy. There was no way he was falling for this bullshit. I thought he was joking around when he spent the day tracking the location on Google Maps. I went to class like normal and got updates through text. At lunch, Jay agreed with me and said it was in fact shady, and he wasn’t going. By afternoon classes, he was texting me in paragraphs explaining his own skepticism but had found several “friends” on an online forum who were also going and had changed his mind once again. The guy couldn’t make up his mind. He was driving me crazy.
Misty sent me several videos of Jay pacing the kitchen with his MacBook in his hands. She was broadcasting his mental breakdown via Instagram stories. But then she started to send me pictures of herself in different outfits, asking me for my opinion on each one. At that point, I turned my phone off. My housemates had lost their fucking minds. I did my own research though, just to make sure I wasn’t actually going to lose them to a shady cult.
I searched for the game itself, but just as I thought, it was shown as still in development. Every “update” was just fan speculation.
There were YouTube videos and TikTok’s of fake leaks, but nothing was real. It was either AI generated, or badly edited. By the time my classes had ended and I had turned my phone on, I had a barrage of missed calls and texts.
Most of them were from Misty with her outfit changes, and Jay changing his mind again.
This time he was convinced it was all a scam, his texts full of typos and crying emoji's which he never used. Before it hit me that Misty was most likely using his phone to text me.
I was right. When I walked through the door, I was greeted by both of them sitting on the stairs. Misty was scrolling through Jay’s phone, while the boy had his head in his hands. According to Misty’s last text, he was back to being excited to go.
From the look on his face, eyes shadowed with sleep circles, light brown curls slipping from under his hood, I wasn’t sure what Misty meant by “excited”. The guy looked the complete opposite. His mind had been consumed by the game, and the idea of seeing new content.
When I dropped my bag and folded my arms, fixing the two of them with my best disapproving parent look, Misty jumped to her feet. “Sam!” she waved Jay’s phone at me. “Did you get my texts? We’re actually going now!”
The 100+ texts on both messenger and iMessage said otherwise.
I nodded, my gaze on Jay. “Both of you do realize it’s a scam, right?” I softened my tone despite growing progressively more irritated. We were grown adults, not kids. I could understand a group of teenagers falling for it, but two twenty-three-year-olds?
This time, I ducked in front of Jay. “Hey.” I pulled down his hood, and he groaned, burying his head in his knees. “I don’t want to freak you out, so listen to me, okay?”
I exhaled out a breath. “I’m not saying something bad is going to happen to you, because it most likely won’t—and yes, I admit I’m being paranoid.” When he lifted his head, blinking through bedraggled curls, there was a faint smile on his lips. “But.” I said. “You are most likely going to end up disappointed. Which I don’t want, because you won't shut up about it for weeks."
I was only partly joking.
For a moment, I thought my housemate was going to wake up, and nod, laughing at how crazy it was.
Before shook his head and jumped up.
“I’m going to take a shower, alright? I should start getting ready."
I admit, I exploded at him.
We argued while he was in the shower, and I paced up and down the hallway, coming up with multiple reasons why he was definitely going to die, and only two positives if it was in fact real. In the end, I gave up worrying all together. I didn’t say anything when the two of them were hurrying around looking for shoes and missing car keys. I didn’t realize they were gone until the door was clanging shut, and a text was coming through. I didn’t look at it until an hour later, and I had calmed down.
Jay: 1h ago: Stop worrying, lmao. We’re good! I’ll keep my phone just in case. I’ll make sure to avoid the organ harvesting 😉
Another from Misty a few minutes later: “Love you! Chillll, kay? 😭😭 It’s going to be fun! I’ll take pics!”
…
Followed by: “Oh shit, we can’t. I’ll try to sneak some!"
Attached to the text was a photo of the two of them. Misty with a wide smile and a peace sign, and Jay who looked like he was mid-shout, his eyes on the road.
Those texts were… at least comforting, I guessed. Maybe they were right. I figured I was paranoid, and they in fact would really be okay.
But that didn’t stop the anxious coil in my gut when I tried to force down takeout pizza. I attempted to focus on my essay to distract myself, but I couldn’t stop glancing at my phone, and checking Twitter. There was a hashtag on the DM, which was just “PlayStationGO.” When I searched for it, however, nothing came up.
Sure, it was a private convention and only a select few knew about it, but nothing could escape Twitter.
Somewhere, someone must be talking about it. After scrolling through endless tweets though, I realized I was wrong. There was nothing.
That put a bad taste in my mouth.
10pm came, and I held my breath all the way through a Netflix TV show I was forcing myself to watch, half asleep, slumped at my desk.
I could barely distinguish the plot.
I just had a vague idea of the character names, and some of their motivations.
Midnight passed, and I was struggling to stay awake.
I glanced at my phone.
No messages, just a notification from Spotify reminding me my favorite band was playing nearby.
1am.
Still nothing. I fell back to sleep.
2:48am.
This time, I stayed awake for a few minutes glaring at my phone before my eyes grew heavy.
3:16: am.
My phone buzzed with a text from Jay, but I could barely desipher it: "can't feel help my head hurts Canshdhsn727272_6798mi/!! _&go home please. (Sent from: PlayStationGo™️ BETA)."
3:27: am.
3:54: am. I was wide awake, blinking at a notification which had popped up from an unknown number. I was trying to figure out what number it was, when my phone vibrated again and I almost jumped out of my skin.
After a moment of hesitation, I answered it.
I was trying so hard not to think of the possibility of it being the emergency room, or even worse, the cops.
All of my worst nightmares had come true in a single second.
“Hello?” I whispered in a croak.
“Are they in the house with you?” The stranger’s voice came through in a hiss of interference.
His words sent my mediocre dinner lurching back up my throat. “What?” I managed to get out. “Who?”
“Your friends.” He said, and I leapt to unsteady feet, my gut twisting and turning.
“No.” I found myself taking slow strides toward the window, brushing back the curtain and peering out into the night. “Why? Did something happen to them?” I paused.
“How did you get my number?”
“That does not matter.” His voice rattled in my ear as I rushed downstairs, almost stumbling down the bottom two. “I need you to get out of that house. Now. Get as far away as possible.”
I could hear his rapid breaths.
He was driving. I could hear the rumble of the engine. With my phone pressed to my ear, I obeyed his instructions, pulling open the door and stepping out into the cool night, a brisk breeze grazing my bare arms was just enough to stop my thoughts spiraling.
I was barefoot, in nothing but a robe, staggering down the driveway. The night was calm and silent; our neighborhood was asleep, each window drowned in darkness. I couldn’t breathe, my clammy fingers wrapped around my phone, as this stranger broke down over the phone. “Whatever you do,” he gasped out.
“Do not, I repeat DO NOT remove the PlayStationGo—shit!! He hissed out, static rattling the call. The guy seemingly got ahold of himself, and the wheel, and continued. I started to walk—where I was going, I had no idea.
The stranger lit a cigarette. I heard the click of a lighter and his exhalation of breath. “It was a BETA version, but we had to rush it. This was not my idea. My boss is a greedy man. He wanted to release the game last year, which would have meant widespread infection. Luckily, that did not happen. We did manage to delay it, but only by a year.” His words barely made sense to me as I struggled to get a word in, peering in the dark. “It was supposed to be a virtual experience of the game—a whole new angle of gameplay. But testing was difficult. First, on monkey’s, we lost multiple subjects. Tonight was supposed to be a…well, I guess you could call it out first attempt on human subjects,” his laugh was bitter. “I knew the tech wasn’t finished. And I tried. Believe me, I fucking tried. I tried to blow the whistle, but these bastards know where my parents live."
Something squirmed its way down my spine.
“So my friends were lab rats?” I said stiffly. “You used them?”
I fucking knew it.
I knew it was too good to be true.
“Yes and no. Listen to me, the people I work for are hunting them down. Trust me, I don’t want my bosses to find them because a life of experimentation will await them. Torture. Do you hear me? It does not matter if subjects fail. They don’t care. As long as there is at least a light at the end of the tunnel for them, they will see it as a win, and bring the publication date closer. They will not be treated as humans. Your friends signed a contract before trying out the tech, where the small print stated that, under section 3, player engagement, all subjects must agree to offer themselves as participants in later updates. I silently cursed Jay for always skipping the terms and conditions when buying games." The man stopped to breathe.
“I have told you multiple times, and I won’t say it again. Get as far away from that house as possible. I will take care of them. I will make sure of it." The sound of squealing engines, and I stopped power walking, coming to an abrupt stop. The silence of the night around me, compared to the sound of the highway he was on, traffic horns and the wind rushing through the window was an eerie contrast, a disturbance to the heavenly bubble we were trapped in.
“What do you mean ‘take care of them?” I had to swallow a yell. “Hey! What are you talking about?
“I’m sorry.” Was all he replied with. “I’m afraid it is too late. There was once an opportunity to save the mind during the initial level of the demonstration. However, once the PlaystationGo has been fully attached to the base of the subject, we no longer have control of it. Once integrating itself into the cerebral cortex, the PlayStationGo can only be removed by signing out of the player’s account,” his breath was heavy. “On this unfortunate occasion, however, your friends are unable to navigate the system due to a malfunction which scrambled their brains,” He trailed off. “Which has left them stranded in the game."
I let out a breath. “Right.” I said. “That’s.. bad. I mean, it’s a fucked-up piece of technology, but they’re just playing a game, right?”
There was a pause, before the man laughed.
“Young man, I don’t think you understand,” he said. “The PlayStationGo was created to give the player a full virtual experience of our game. The PlayStationGo is not a physical object. Created with nanotechnology, it attaches itself to the subject’s brain and is supposed to create a personal gaming experience for each player. As I said, however, it is not finished. It is yet to be released to the public, and of course, we are expecting certain ethical arguments due to the controversial—”
I pulled the phone away from my ear, shaking my head. I didn’t need to hear his attempts at trying to save his own skin.
“You need to help them,” I whispered. “Do you hear me? Can you do that? Can you help them?!”
“That is what I am trying to tell you,” He said.
“I know you are upset and confused, and believe me, I offer my apologies. But you need to listen to facts. During initial testing, our subjects were conscious enough to know where their home was. We are unsure why this happens, though we have linked it to territory, as well as the main character of the game heavily influencing their actions. I have been tracking them from the testing facility, and they are incredibly close. Please get as far away from there as possible. If you are no longer in the vicinity of the house, I can end this quickly and quietly before we gain attention.”
I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. Maybe start fucking screaming at him, because he was talking about getting “rid” of my friends, after their mistake.
“Do you understand me?” He said, when I couldn’t reply. “Your friends are lost causes!”
Before I could answer, though, headlights were suddenly coming around the corner, and I found myself paralysed to the spot. The car which swerved twice, crashed into several trash cans, before reversing and coming straight towards me, was not Jay’s car. Jay’s car was an old hunk of junk he’d gotten from a scrapyard. Jay’s car had doors which were practically hanging off, and a stereo which exclusively played either static gibberish, or old tapes I had no idea how to use. This car was bright yellow, and definitely had an option to drive itself. When the car came to a stop, inches from careening into me, I lost all control of myself.
I was vaguely aware of my phone slipping from my fingers and hitting the sidewalk. But I was too busy staring at the two shadows in the front of the car. The driver, and the passenger.
And the muffled screaming coming from the trunk.
When the door swung open, a figure stepping out, I did not recognise my housemate.
The stranger told me I wouldn't, but I didn't believe him.
Jay had left the house in casual jeans and a sweater, bearing the game's logo.
Now, I found myself face to face with a man with my housemate's face and features, his smile and eyes-- but something had been severed in his eyes and twisted in his expression. For one, Jay was wearing a suit I knew he couldn't afford, the sleeves torn, collar pulled open, smears of red staining the front.
His pants had cufflinks, and the Rolex on his wrist had definitely been pulled off someone's corpse.
The silver was stained a revealing scarlet. Drinking in his face, he looked like Jay. His curls hung in front of his eyes, freckles speckling his cheeks, but everything else wasn't. It wasn't until I was glimpsing what was moulded into the flesh of his hand, did I remember how to move. But then I was taking all of him in, everything my mind had intentionally skipped, because I didn't want to believe the stranger on the phone. Nanotechnology, the man had said in a hiss.
Fiction, I had thought.
Before I saw the reality of it, a writhing metallic like substance glued to the guy's temple, and slowly, very slowly, inching down his cheek, already forming around the bridge of his ear, a very faint blue light flickering.
Something must have alerted him. His cavernous eyes left mine, and he twisted his head—and I heard the sound of his neck snapping, his head lolling to the left slightly, his eyes flickering. I watched his whole body seem to sway back and forth, ready to fall forwards.
Before the newly formed device on his ear turned red, then green.
It was almost like he was… rebooting. As if coming back to life, Jay lifted his head at an awkward angle, before looking straight through me. The blood vessels in his eyes had popped, rivulets of red beading down his face. He should have been dead, I thought. No. No, he was dead. That… that thing was keeping him alive. “Well, shiiiittt,” he said. I could sense the game dialogue which had taken over him, forming on his mangled tongue.
“I’m a man on a mission.”
In jerking movements, he turned and marched back towards the car, opening the door, and sliding into the front seat.
I remembered how to move, ducking to grab my phone, before something slammed into the back of my head—and I saw stars.
I didn’t remember hitting the floor, only the soft sound of her voice, a seductive murmur repeating NPC dialogue, and her kitten heel sticking into my spine, forcing me onto my face.
Misty. I was expecting her to get it over with. But when she dragged me to my feet, sticking the barrel of a gun into the flesh of my neck—I figured she was still playing the game.
Twisting around to meet her eyes, lifeless and empty, only filled with light from the device which had taken over half of her face, I felt sick to my stomach. This thing wasn’t a games console or a virtual reality headset.
It was an attempt at coercing and programming something you already don’t understand, to do something impossible.
I could see that in the way the things had visibly chewed and eaten through her flesh, devouring her from the inside and out. I could see what was left of the dress she had worn earlier, but something must have gone wrong with her too. Because Misty had thrown on another outfit over the top, a diamond necklace hanging from her neck.
I caught a thin river of red pooling down her right temple, trying to ignore the twitchy way she moved, just like a character. From the way Misty walked, stumbling, I already knew she was gone. My housemate had newly acquired strength, throwing me in the trunk of the car where three other hostages were, and slamming it shut on my attempts to reason with her. She didn’t tie me up or restrain me.
In the dim light I could just make out though passing streetlights, I could see the trunk opened from the inside. Which was too easy.
Still though, Jay was driving recklessly, and every time I tried to throw the damn thing open, I was knocked backwards, rolling into a screaming girl, who was bound by her hands and feet. It took me multiple attempts before I had the trunk open, freezing cold air blasting me in the face. I untied the other hostages, but when I told them to come with me, they just stared blankly at me, and continued begging for their lives—and it only took me glimpsing what was attached to their temples, a familiar writhing metal plate, for me to understand. They too were playing the game. This time, as NPC hostages.
I found myself gingerly touching the trembling metallic flesh of the girl's fingers bound in rope. It had a slimy consistency, and I swore, I felt something bite into me.
No way, I thought.
This thing was sentient, yes. But it wasn't living.
Listen, I wish I could tell you what it was like to jump out of a moving car, but I can’t.
I remember it as lunging out of the trunk, hitting the freezing cold air, before hitting the ground head first, neutron star collisions exploding in the backs of my eyes.
What I do remember is waking up on the side of the road. Hours later. The sky was bright blue, a scorching sun blinding me when I managed to force my eyes open.
The early morning rush hour flew by as normal, and I wondered how ignorant American people had to be to ignore someone knocked out on the side of the road.
It’s not like I was nowhere near civilization. There was a fucking Subway right next to me.
When I had gathered myself, I remembered I had no phone. I couldn’t go home in fear of running into my rogue housemates playing their own fucked up version of _____ in their head. My plan was to try and find my phone, get in contact with the stranger who blew the whistle on my friends being dangerous, and find them. They couldn’t be far., right? And even if they weren’t themselves… someone would be able to save them.
If someone could do this to them, surely they could reverse it.
I felt sick, tired, and I was starving.
So, with some loose cash I’d found in my pocket, I bought a Subway and a Coke.
The woman at the counter smiled widely at me. She leaned forward, with a wink. “Nice cosplay!”
Cosplay?
I didn’t understand what she meant until I swore I felt something… move its way up my pant leg. I ignored it, and it happened again, this time it felt like something was… biting.
A bug, maybe? I had been laying on the side of the road for around six hours.
When I went to the bathroom, though, I found myself staring at an all too familiar glint of silver creeping its way across my temple. Like it was sentient, parts of it sider webbed towards my ear while the rest writhed into my hairline.
I pulled up my pant leg again, and there it was, a fungus-like metal substance which had already formed in two solid metal masses on my knees. I remember grazing two fingers across the thing beginning its slow feast of my flesh. I remember trying to pull it off, hissing in pain when I risked ripping off my own skin with it. I remember shaking my head and being in denial, even when the lights dimmed above me, and the bathroom door in front of me became more of a shadow. When I strode back through the Subway store, I began to see slight flickers of light above each person, highlighting something not quite there yet.
I could see it already starting, beginning to take over my thoughts. Cars which sped past were suddenly highlighted, and at the corner of my eye, if I concentrated, the outline of a map was starting to appear. Even now, when the room is almost completely taken over by shadow, and my thoughts are half my own, and half not—when a metallic device is beginning to form over my eyes—I know if I hold on, this thing won’t take me. I have considered killing myself, but that wouldn’t… be right.
How could I kill myself when there is so much left to do?
This developer was right. I don’t even know where I can sign out. There’s what looks like the beginning of some kind of index when I look up, but it’s not… finished. I can still see entangled pieces of code struggling to load what I’m guessing was log out. Whatever this thing is, it’s taking over me. Fast. Like a fungus, like a virus, it will not stop until it’s dragged me into the game, until it's leeched itself onto me.
I can feel it happening right now. It's been slow.
Almost painfully slow.
But maybe that is the point. Maybe part of the game is to feel my own thoughts beginning to unravel in favor of something else entirely.
Fuck.
Time is going by…. Fast.
Five minutes ago… I was trying to get home. But I can’t remember where I live.
I can’t concentrate.
I can’t think straight.
I have a phone—but I don’t know how I got it. Did I steal it?
Every time I move, the slowly emerging map comes to life at the corner of my eye jerks with my movement. There is a car parked nearby.
I know it belongs to the man with a child.
But a confusing blur of light is highlighting it to be something of importance. Reality is crashing in front of me, replaced with contorting shapes and bursts of color I have to blink through.
I keep hearing... sirens.
Jay is messaging me.
On what, I'm not sure.
But I need to find him.
I’m sure one mission won’t hurt, right?

So I'm 19, 5 foot 6 and 237lbs. It's worth mentioning that I'm trans (I'm technically a trans woman, but I refuse to call myself a woman, because I look extremely masculine, so it feels delusional and larpy to call myself a woman, if anything I consider myself to be a sort of eunuch that wants to be a woman, but can't be because of its giant man skull, but putting all that aside). Over time I developed a myriad of deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms to cope with my gender dysphoria. One of these coping mechanisms was binge eating.
As a result of this I've spent my whole life oscillating between chubby and fat, eventually eating my way up to 251lbs. I've tried losing weight in the past, but every time has been an uncomfortable, humiliating experience with little to nothing to show for it. I tried purging a few times, but I was never able to make anything come up, I tried the classic CICO method and lasted all of 5 minutes before having a huge binge and ultimately abandoning my efforts and I tried to just make a few healthier choices and it did precisely nothing.
I did manage to lose 14lbs by virtue of getting on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), being less depressed and thus binging less, but I didn't really try to lose weight beyond that. After all my half assed failures in the past I'd kind of thrown my hands in the air and given up saying to myself "I don't care if I'm fat, so long as I eventually pass as female I'm happy".
The trouble with that is that all my fat is distributed in a very male pattern (lots on the waist, none on the hips or legs). Being on estrogen does mean that fat redistributes into a more female pattern, but that does require that I either lose the weight, so all the stuff in the male areas burns off, or I weight cycle where I repeatedly lose then re-gain about 20lbs so that I burn weight in the male areas then gain weight in the female areas. Given that I'm morbidly obese the former option strikes me as the better one. On top of this I have really wide shoulders that make passing impossible and I'm somewhat hoping that if I lose weight I might have smaller shoulders.
Having established that I want to lose weight I'm confronted by the problem that every time I've tried to lose weight in the past I've badly failed. I'm aware that you need to consume fewer calories than you use up, use myfitnesspal or a similar app to track how many calories you're consuming and ideally incorporate some exercise, but how does that help you when you've spent the whole day obsessing over how wide your shoulders are and want nothing more than to bury your feeling under 4 triple cheeseburgers, how does that help you when you've spent the whole day listening to your baritone man voice, seeing your massive browbone and huge man skull in the mirror and wanting to dissociate from reality whilst eating a family size chocolate cake by yourself, how does CICO help when you've been feeling really dysphoric that day and made the interesting choice to block out you problems by eating 4 bagels, a whole of tub of cream cheese, a whole pack of smoked salmon, a family size bag of doritoes and a slab of chocolate for breakfast then feeling horrible about what you just did and posting a ranty vent / question post about how to curb your binging habit.

They say the hole in the Ozone layer is caused by humans...

The ozone hole is basically a human-caused hole in the ozone layer above the South Pole during the Southern Hemisphere’s spring.

https://climate.nasa.gov/faq/15/is-the-ozone-hole-causing-climate-change/
Funny how the hole is where sunlight is not hitting instead of where people are. Wonder why that could be? Certainly it couldn't be because UV light is needed to create it, could it?

Ozone is formed from dioxygen by the action of ultraviolet (UV) light and electrical discharges within the Earth's atmosphere.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozone
And on top of this man-made ozone hole, We are destroying the planet with the methane in cow farts. Clearly we need to cut down on how much meat we produce.

A new study of the climate impacts of raising animals for food concludes that phasing out all animal agriculture has the potential to substantially alter the trajectory of global warming.

https://news.berkeley.edu/2022/02/01/global-elimination-of-meat-production-could-save-the-planet/
It is of course all the Methane... You know, the most potent GHG that actually only last 12 years before it is oxidized... Ohh and did you know, Methane increases Ozone production?

Methane increases the amount of ozone O3 in the troposphere—4 miles (6.4 km) to 12 miles (19 km) from the Earth's surface— and stratosphere—from the troposphere to 31 miles (50 km) above the Earth's surface.[8] Both water vapour and ozone are GHGs, which in turn adds to climate warming.[5]: 2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atmospheric_methane
Well, god damn, More Ozone causes more global warming, But We are reducing that Ozone by putting a hole in it, but that fucks us up too, but our cows are releasing Methane, which increases Ozone, which increases global warming...
Seems like no matter WTF happens, it increases global warming and fucks humans over... Apparently the only thing we can do correctly is to cease to exist.

Payment Terms: Only Cash/EMT.
First Come First Serve. Guns: Note: All guns are either in BNIB condition or only plinked for testing. Silverback Airsoft MDR-X AEG w/ 4 Mags NEW Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/08IOAaR Never fielded, only shot less than 100 BBs to test function. This gun is a combination of the conventional AEG system and the SYSTEMA PTW System. Perfect DMR base. The only con was the bevel gear, but it’s already taken care of by me. The gearbox is shimmed and functions smoothly. Comes with: New MDR-X Mid-caps x3 (excluding the stock magazine) New Airsoft Logic 11.1V battery (deans) x1 New Silverback Spring 100N x1 New Silverback Spring 90N x1 New Silverback DMR Trigger Board x1 Need to fund other projects, so this one has to go. Original packaging available. $1000 CAD OBO for pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. VFC M110K1 GBBR w/ 1 Mag SOLD Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/mz0JUj4 The rifle is never fielded, only plinked to test performance. Minimal marks from mounting scope. Part list: TNT 410mm tight bore x1 TNT bucking x1 Upgraded disconnector x1 (critical for DMR) Upgraded nozzle o-ring x1 Upgraded NPAS x1 RS MAGPUL MIAD AR10 Grip Set x1 Repro B5 Systems Stock x1 Repro KAC URX Panel Set x1 Repro Atlas Bipod x1 Hop-up system is reinstalled and reinforced. Nozzle is moded to improve hop-up stability Performance: the gun can reach 300ft and has good accuracy at 200-250ft. FPS adjustable range: 380-500fps with 0.2g BB Scope, scope mount, and laser are not included. Original packaging available. $1200 CAD for pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. Tokyo Marui HK45 w/ 3 Mags Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/EK4CK4o Never fielded. Open plinked to test performance, and lubed for maintenance. Not much to say about this one, just a classic Marui pistol with cool HK45 aesthetic features. Original packaging available. $350 CAD for local pickup in Vancouver, or buyer pays shipping. Tokyo Marui LCP w/ 1 Mag Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/rJJ9yi2 Never fielded or used, only plinked once in the backyard. The reason for the low price is there’s a minor crack on top. The crack doesn’t affect anything since this is a Non-blowback pistol. The gun is quiet af and really fun to plink at home. Original packaging available. $80 CAD for local pick up, or the buyer pays shipping. Ares GL-06 Grenade Launcher w/ No shells Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/AtgyYbd Never used. Tried to take the orange tip off, but I don't have the proper tools. It properly will come off if put into boiling water. This is only the launcher. $120 CAD for local pick up, or the buyer pays shipping. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gears and Accessories OEM 3-12x50 FFP Sniper Scope Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/yBJgaJV Manufacturer is unknown, however, the quality of this scope is quite impressive IMO. It has minimal to zero distortion on low power, and the glass is crispy. According to the retailer I got it from, this product (not my unit) was tested on .308 rifles and it held the zero well. This unit was lightly used on my Silverback SRS. Taken to the field less than 3 times. Spent $400 on the scope alone, now I’m letting it go for $200. It will come with a kill-flash cover, pic-rail mounts, a Vortex lever, and a pair of flip-up caps. $200 CAD for local pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. 3D Printed Wilcox Raptar Dummy SOLD Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/Usphzl0 This is a custom-made unit. Never mounted on my gun as I don't have a giant scope. Perfect dummy for display. $100 CAD for local pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. NB-Tactical Venom V3 Face Mask SOLD Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/kSNeXXx Up for sale is a brand new NB-Tactical Venom V3 mask. This is the backup unit I kept for myself. It is never used or tried on. Brand new. $40 CAD for local pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. TMC Multicam Tropic (MCTP) G3 Uniform Set Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/wzPkBBh Nothing much to say about them. Used but in good condition. Perfect camo for the woods Shirt Size: MR Pants Size: 34R $100 CAD for local pickup in Vancouver, otherwise buyer pays shipping. Feel free to let me know if you have questions. Cheers.

I'm not really sure how to start this post. I guess I can start by saying that I really enjoy this forum and listen to your podcast almost daily. Also, I must apologize, as this is kinda long, but I didn't want to leave anything out. So, here goes....
I'm a 40 year old male and I pride myself on being fairly successful in my life. That's not to say I'm filthy rich or don't have my problems, which we'll get to in a minute, but I have a life that many would be happy to live. I have a beautiful and loving wife, two wonderful kids from a previous marriage, and a job that is not only fulfilling, but allows me to live comfortably. Most people wouldn't suspect some of the things I've dealt with in my time, but I wanted to share this aspect of my past in hopes it will help me work through it.
All my life I've lived in the South, Mississippi specifically, and as one might suspect I've grown up going to church. This has never bothered me, although some of the experiences I could've done without (I'll looking at you youth choir). When I was a young child, probably 7-8 (the exact age escapes me, possibly blocked out for my sanity's sake) my family attended a Baptist church in the boonies which we lived on a family farm. It was your typical southern style church, we had service every Sunday morning, night services that would include business meetings, and RA's every Wednesday night. For those unfamiliar, RA's (short for Royal Ambassadors) was an organization very similar to the Boy Scouts of America. Granted, we didn't have all the same types of awards or taskings they did, but the group would study the Bible and how we could apply the teachings to serve the community at large. Every year we had a couple camping trips and nature hikes we would attend, but no merit badges or anything. I suppose now would be good to introduce our characters in this story. Myself, whom I'll call Addie, my brothers John and Steven, and a young man named Robert. Obviously, these aren't the real names, but you get the idea. Robert was the leader of my RA class and always seemed to be a fairly cool guy. He was probably in his mid-twenties and seemed to be really in tune with all the youth group. Robert was very well known to all the RA classes, as we all would meet in the fellowship hall after the individual classes were done, typically to have an activity as a large group before going home. My brothers and I seemed to be of a particular interest to Robert (And yes, as a grown man I look back and see the absolutely wrong and inappropriate nature of this) and he would always seek us out Wednesday nights to joke around or tussle. This type of behavior went on for a long time, not really sure how long as I've already said, but it was long enough for our parents to feel comfortable with him around us. Before any one starts trying to throw stones my folks way, you have to remember this was in the late 80's and society was far more trusting that it is today. As such, people in the church were thought to be mostly good people and it never entered into anyone's mind what could have been going on behind the door those nights.
I remember some nights where Robert would forgo the weekly lesson, instead opting to "play games" with all the boys in his class. These games were always posed as innocent enough, but always involved....well....things that boys shouldn't be doing with other boys, let alone in the presence of a grown man. This is bad enough, but one of Robert's favorite young men was my oldest brother, Steven. As I would come to find out, Robert had cornered my brother on multiple occasions and assaulted him. One of these times, my brother and I were walking through the church on a Wednesday night, no one else in sight. I honestly can't remember what we were doing (Possibly running an errand or something) but without warning, Robert rounds the corner. Apparently, he had seen us leave the fellowship hall and decided to follow. When he saw us, something about his facial expression gave me and Steven a chill. He looked excited, almost giddy, and had a big smile on his face. He started walking towards us, saying something about he was going to get us or some garbage like that, and that prompted us to run. We bolted back down the hallway and through the sanctuary, with aim to get out the front door and make our way down to the safety of the rest of the group (As our father was one of the teachers and we knew he was there). To give an idea of the layout we were traveling, the sanctuary sat on a hill and the fellowship hall was at the base of the hill. Also, the church was in the process of building a new sanctuary next to the old one, so we had to run around this giant construction zone to get down the hill. So, we exit the front of the church, sprinting to the right as fast as we could, past the construction, and down the hill. When we rounded the corner, we were looking straight at the door to the fellowship hall. We pick up our pace, the sound of Robert gaining from behind, but we keep a good lead until we get to the door. Now, you would think this should be the end of the story right? We fling open the door, the throng of people see our predicament, and rush to our aid. But no, we grab the door handles and find them locked. We ran to the side window, trying to get our father's attention, but to no avail. By this time, Robert had caught up to us and was blocking our way to go back. Things get hazy at this point, mostly coming in flashes, but the jest of it is clear enough. My brother attempted to run past or through Robert, but he ends up being lifted in the air and carried away from the building. He stopped at the far end of the parking lot and began to assault my brother right in front of me. I remember trying everything to get him to stop. I kicked Robert in the ribs, jumped on his back, screaming at my brother to do things to make him stop. But nothing worked. This man was violating my brother right in front of me. This particular memory is as clear in my head as what I had for breakfast today. I don't remember much of my grandfather, the majority of my Christmas holidays, or a thousand other things from my childhood, but this freaking memory sticks out like a billboard. Fast forward, it turns out (not surprisingly) Robert had been doing the same things to lots of other kids, John and I included. When everything came out, my father threatened to beat him to death, Robert was thrown in our state penitentiary, and put on the offender's registry for life.
For years I would check the registry, making sure that Robert was still behind bars. One day, fifteen years later or so, I checked it and found he had been paroled, now living close to my old hometown. It was a gut punch, as I hoped he would never breathe free air again. But by this point, I was grown, big into weightlifting, and trained by the military so I felt confident in my ability to handle myself. If I'm being honest, I actually had concocted an entire scenario in my mind that if I ever saw him in Walmart or something, I would confront him and throw him a beating for everything he had done to my family. Well, the years came and went, I got married, and welcomed the birth of my sons into the world. I also started a career in nursing, eventually earning my master's degree and becoming a nurse practitioner. Having kids of my own gave me a new perspective on life and truthfully gave me a different outlook on life and I never let my guard down when it came to my boys. Eventually, after almost 15 years, my wife and I divorced. I moved back to my hometown to be closer to my support system. This opened up an opportunity to manage and practice medicine in a clinic nearby. I did this for almost two years until I was given the chance to work back in the ER of a hospital system and decided this was a better fit for me. So, I'm working my last few shifts at the clinic, when I went into a room to see a patient. The patient was an older woman, a little older than my parents, and as old folks often do, she wanted to talk about anything but why she was there. I've always been somewhat of a people pleaser, so I typically would just let these type of people talk. I think about how my grandmother and how she lived alone for almost 30 years after my granddad died and how lonely she would get at times. I figured, if someone wanted to ramble and it would make them feel better, I was more than happy to lend an ear. Well, she asked me where I was from, if I was married, if I had kids, etc. Just typical stuff really and I answered everything she asked as it wasn't terribly strange stuff. She remarked at the beginning that my name was familiar, but she couldn't place where from. I told her who my parents were, where they worked, and where I had grown up. Eventually, it came around to where I had gone to church as a child and after I told her, her face grew stoic. Seriously, it looked like someone had pulled the drain plug on her face and emptied it of blood. I looked into her eyes, curious as to what caused this shift, and she started to cry. I was obviously stunned at this drastic turn of her demeanor and asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I know where I know your parents from, where I know you from. I don't know if you would remember my son, you were so young, but I don't want to tell you." When she said this, my brain jumped back to the start of her inquiry about me, at which time she had told me her children's names. I looked at her chart, searching frantically for her last name. When I found it, everything clicked and the name of her youngest child left my lips quietly, Robert.
The realization that I was looking at the mother of my childhood monster was, sobering to say the least. She began to apologize over and over, telling me she had prayed my brothers and I had led normal lives and hadn't been "ruined" by what her son had done. Now, it's important to clarify that while we all have been successful in our chosen fields, all three of us have carried scars from what he did to us. I, personally, have had difficulty with relationships and trusting other people. I can't say for certain what John and Steven endured in all these years, but I know that none of us were ever "normal" after what happened. However, as this woman had nothing to do with her son's atrocities, I didn't want her to feel attacked or responsible. I leaned in and tried to comfort her, reassuring that we all turned out well and had moved beyond the past (Despite this not being entirely the truth). This seemed to give her peace of mind. As she dried her eyes, she spoke again, "I'm glad to hear that. I know what he did was wrong, horribly wrong. He never could tell me why he did it, he told me he knew it wasn't right but he couldn't seem to stop himself. I know he went to prison, and he suffered there, but he's done so good since he's come home. He's not a bad man, he's so good to me." She kept talking, but by this point, I was tuned out. I felt sorry for her, truly I did, but I was ready to get out of that room. Then she said something that made my heart sink and my guts implode. "He's so good to me, he even brought me today. He's out front right now."
I stood up, my legs were numb, and I felt short of breath. I quickly told her what her treatment plan entailed and left the room. I walked to the front of the clinic, looking through the check-in window out into the lobby, and there he was...Robert was sitting not even 10 feet away. My mind raced, all of my rage and anger that had been pent up for over two decades boiling inside me. That memory, the one I spoke about, played in my mind like a bad snuff film (As if any snuff film is a good one, but I digress). I walked back to my office and sat down, trying to rationalize what was going on. All these years, I have had a clear and focused plan for how things would go if I ever saw him again. I rose from my chair, walking towards my car and the gun I always kept inside. I told my nurse to keep all the patient's in their rooms and not to let anyone out to the lobby. She asked me why and, for some reason, I told her everything. She looked into my face and said, "What are you gonna do Addie? What are you going to tell your boys when you go to jail for life?" Her questions stopped me in my tracks, like my feet were bolted to the floor. She continued, "He took something he never should have, no doubt. But don't let him take you from your boys, you're a better man than that." As soon as it had come on, my crazy idea to deal with this guy like I had always wanted evaporated from me. I asked her to discharge the old woman and I went back to my office. I stayed in there until they had both left and then continued with my day. I called my fiance and told her what happened, making sure she knew that I hadn't done anything stupid. She told me that she was proud of me and the rest of the day went by without incident.
I never thought the day would come where I was face to face with this guy. Despite my blustering, I'm no killer and he wasn't threatening anyone in that moment. Since that day, I've started my new job and haven't seen Robert again. I told John about the whole situation, and he echoed my fiancé's opinion, glad I had let him leave without incident. I've since told my mother about it, yet again, was told I did the right thing and that she was proud of me. I wish that I could say I was proud of myself, but I can't. I feel like, I dunno, that I somehow betrayed my brothers by not doing something...anything. Granted, no matter what I did to him, it wouldn't have been enough. Even if I un-alived him, it wouldn't do anything to remove what had happened or the impact we all have endured. But still, I can't help but feel guilty I didn't dish out the punishment I feel Robert deserved, the justice I feel the kids he messed up deserved.
I guess if anything, I'm writing this to hopefully let other people who have been through similar circumstances they're not alone. And to warn everyone else, no matter what you think, there really are monsters in this world and they look like everyone else.
s

Company Name	Title	City
myPTsolutions	Physiotherapist	Cheyenne
BANNER HEALTH	MD Family Physician	Casper
BANNER HEALTH	Family Physician	Casper
BANNER HEALTH	NEUROLOGIST (Generalist): Seeking Neurologist with Entrepreneurial Drive to helpbuild Center of Excellence in Casper, Wyoming	Casper
Alternate Perspectives Inc	Career Technical Training Instructor-Petro	Fort Washakie
BANNER HEALTH	FAMILY MEDICINE PHYSICIAN: Join the Growing Primary Care Team with a Top-5 LargeHealth System in Casper, Wyoming!	Natrona
Alternate Perspectives Inc	Technical Training Manager	Riverton
Alternate Perspectives Inc	Career Technical Training Instructor-Petro	Riverton
Medical Resource Group, Inc.	Nurse Practitioner or Physician Assistant - Rock Springs	Rock Springs
Medical Resource Group, Inc.	Nurse Practitioner or Physician Assistant	Sheridan
Spine & Injury Clinic of Laramie, PC	Immediate Openings Doctor Of Physical Therapy Laramie	Buford
Dragline Service Specialties	Yard Coordinator	Casper
Advantage Solutions	Retail Stocking/Shelving Associate	Casper
Wyoming Machinery Company	Forklift Technician	Casper
Hercules Industries, Inc.	Delivery DriveWarehouse Worker	Casper
Boot Barn	Receiving and Inventory Specialist	Casper
Liberty	Warehouse I	Cheyenne
Harbor Freight Tools	Retail Stocking Associate	Cheyenne
City Of Cheyenne	Fleet Maintenance Parts Runner (Part Time)	Cheyenne
Usagov	Supply Management Specialist	Cheyenne
Menard, Inc	Part - Time Outside Yard & Receiving	Cheyenne
L&W Supply Corporation	Warehouse Material Handler (7197)	Cheyenne
Harbor Freight Tools	Senior Retail Stocking Associate	Cheyenne
GoExpedi	Warehouse Associate - Starting at $16/hr - 4 weeks PTO	Cheyenne
Laramie County School	Warehouse Delivery Driver	Cheyenne

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Camera raw settings work on almost all clips in the timeline. Only a handful of clips have the ISO greyed out, unable to change the value. See attached screen shots.
Same camera, same settings, same day, shot by me. Still have the source footage. Maybe there is something obvious I’m missing? Is it a bug? Looking for any insights, I’m at a loss.
Thank you in advance!
DaVinci Resolve Studio 18.1.4 build 9 macOS Ventura 13.4

hi, i'm thinking of studying abroad at queen mary university of london either next spring or next fall!
the thing i'm mainly concerned about is finances. i'm grateful enough to be on a full scholarship that will cover tuition and housing if i choose to study abroad. the main expenses will likely come from my everyday time there. while in london i want to travel europe as much as i can and in general just have enough money to be comfortable there.
how much should i save? also does anyone have any general advice for studying abroad in london? for context, i'm from california, usa!