Happy monday blessings

Memes_for_mondays

2021.04.21 23:46 ucytf Memes_for_mondays

Good memes for bad mondays
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2014.04.17 06:17 AnonyAccounty we are birb

Welcome to /birb, the place to post photos, gifs and vids of birds in funny/silly situations (based on the tumblr birb meme) without the one-word title rule for posting and ban-happy mods.
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2008.05.19 22:34 gamedev - game development, programming, design, writing, math, art, jams, postmortems, marketing

All things related to game development, programming, math, art, music, business, and marketing.
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2023.06.08 20:29 CarnivalTower Trade shows might be the single most nightmarish thing created by humankind

Weddings can be rough for introverts but at least they last less than 24 hours. Now imagine if they kept going for 5 days and also you barely know anybody attending.
I have a job that I love in a tech company that involves gathering feedback from our clients. I actually enjoy that part, which typically takes place through virtual Teams meetings and involve interesting technical discussions.
But every now and then my boss wants me to attend week-long trade shows where I can meet hundreds of clients at once. Here’s how it goes:
You stand all day at a booth where people come talk to you. 10% of the conversation is work-related, the rest is small talk. Everyone is super extroverted and loves talking. That’s how business works apparently, if you make yourself interesting enough through small talk, clients are most likely to keep buying your products.
The day is filled with coffee breaks and lunch breaks and happy hours, which shifts the conversation ratio to 100% small talk.
You usually have to give a 20-minute talk in a filled-up amphitheater at least once. That part I actually like because everyone gets to shut up, but I know it’s difficult for a lot of introverts.
At night you’re not going back to your hotel room to recharge, hell no! You go out with carefully selected clients and you ensure they have a good time, again through small talk that you try to keep entertaining. They’ll usually want to go drink at a bar after dinner so not only do you get to be socially drained, but you’re also in an extreme state of physical fatigue by day 2.
Rinse and repeat for 5 days or until your soul leaves your body.
At some point there’s also a gala night which is more of the same crap but with fancy clothes and lots of wine. You get to choose where you sit when you arrive, so if you don’t know anyone you’re just awkwardly standing up looking around while people are getting to their seats with their friends.
This is truly hell on Earth. Today was the last straw. On Monday I’ll talk to my boss and be firm that I’m longer attending trade shows.
If you ever see something similar in a job description, do yourself a favor and run away.
submitted by CarnivalTower to introvert [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 20:20 Anxious_potato_123 Falling in depression from my colposcopy results

I tested positive for hpv 16/18 2.5 years ago and it was marked as an abnormal pap. I was 26 and didn’t care much about it, my doctor kept pushing for a colposcopy at the time but I kept pushing it away because of fear and prior sexual trauma. I could not fathom the idea of a stranger touching me again and inserting tools to test for something. I wished my body would clear it on its own since I am still in my 20s like my doctor had mentioned. 2 years went by, I got out of a toxic relationship(prob where I caught hpv) and am in a stable, happy and healthy relationship now. My partner has been very supportive of me going back in for the pap, getting a colposcopy and further procedures. I had my colposcopy this monday and doctor mentioned it looks low grade mostly CIN1. I got the biopsy result yesterday and it says CIN2/3, I am shocked to my core and have a call today to discuss the result with my doc.
I have been lurking on here for days to weigh in my risk factors and feeling completely alone in this. Never smoked, ate healthy, worked out but always lacked in vitamin D.
Lot of posts on here mentioned LEEP and I am so so scared, going through constant crying spells. Worried about my future and filled with shame and guilt. Idk how to get through this and I have lost sleep hunger and quality of life over this. No one I know has ever talked about it so I assume no ones had it, 0 family members with any similar stories. Constantly blaming myself over this and not feeling worthy of any love and happiness. I haven’t seen that many success stories on here post LEEP and read a lot about hysterectomies. I am undecided on kids but want to start a family in a few years and I feel like that opportunity will be robbed from me. How do I cope with this? I was raised very religious in a conservative family and cannot talk to them about this or I risk keeping any contact with them in my life. I have only been able to talk to my partner and one other friend about this but don’t feel like they can relate to my experience even tho they are trying to be very supportive.
submitted by Anxious_potato_123 to HPV [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 20:19 twocatsinthehouse_ Pregnant with Third - Struggling to know what to do/cope.

TW: Mention of Termination. Pregnant with third child. Note that I am and always will be pro-choice. I am pro-family and I believe that included the whole family, not just the one in utero. I apologize deeply to anyone that is emotionally effected by the above. Please don’t feel the need to read if you are.
I am currently 4 weeks pregnant. I struggled with infertility and was never able to get pregnant on my own. My first child (6) was conceived with the help of clomid and timed intercourse. My second (1) was with a trigger shot and IUI. My pregnancies were easy breezy. I loved being pregnant. My first birth went unexpected but I was able to go through a c-section and heal quite alright.
My second pregnancy, was also okay but the birth process was so extremely traumatic. During the pregnancy I had to deal with vision impairments, painful sciatica, carpal tunnel. I felt immense guilt preparing my oldest to share my love and attention. He loves being big brother though.
That birth was awful. My spinal tap didn’t work. I was aware and awake for 45 minutes as they crunched various spaces in my spine. It was excruciating. Finally they said I had to go under to get baby out safely. The team was wonderful, and it’s not a common thing that happens so they were so supportive. Within 1 minute, a catheter was pushed in me, I went under and went though a second c-section. My second is healthy and so so cute.
Post birth, I had a screaming headache but my blood pressure was fine. The nurses kept checking on me giving me ice packs etc. I thought the headache was because I was nursing for the first time. She randomly does a CBC and finds out my blood count was deathly low, about 5 away from heart failure. I immediately get 2 transfusions and I felt like a new person. I am so very grateful to her. She noticed I had no color in my face, she noticed my pain, and she noticed my demeanor. Without her running the test I would’ve died.
After that I had a hematoma bust through my incision. 3 days after birth I was bleeding out. I went to the ER, praying I wouldn’t get stitched back up. Since it was a hematoma and not a blood clot they said we just have to wait till it all comes out. 9 weeks of changing dressings, treating an infection, and my scar finally healing (but with a horrible crater), I made it through. My whole maternity leave was spoiled. I had to take care of my newborn, go to farmers markets, continue making memories with my kids, breastfeed all while bleeding out of my incision for 9 weeks. Without my husband I wouldn’t have made it post partum.
I developed severe PPA, and moderate depression. Eventually I was treated with medication and therapy. It helped keep me normal. What hasn’t left me is the fear of what I went though, the damage my body went through and the fact that I feel a heaviness in my chest when I think about it. The fact I almost died and left behind two children.
We decided since I have fertility issues we won’t try to prevent, but if within the next two years we get pregnant we can make it work. If not we have such a beautiful wonderful life with our two children. For 12 months we did not get pregnant and we finally accepted we will be living a great life with our kids.
Month 13 I find out I’m pregnant. It’s a literal miracle. I was never able to do this. We were happy but the fear crept in quickly. I would like to let it be known that we kept the option open for a third, and that means if we felt a third wouldn’t work at the time we are okay with terminating. But truly in my heart of hearts I didn’t think I was going to get pregnant because no matter how hard we tried I wouldn’t. A vasectomy was going to be scheduled within the year.
Now we are at a standpoint. We have weight the pros and cons of a third, and honestly 2 seems to have more pros than 3. We are financially set, but emotionally I’m not sure how we would adjust as a family of three. From logistics, from being spread out thin, from not being able to do many things together as a family like we could easily with 2. These are all lifestyle fears, not even medical fears which I am panicking just thinking about. We have a few weeks to make a decision and my OB is supportive either way. I have a scan setup for Monday. And in 2 weeks we make our decision.
I’m afraid and I’m sad. I feel like terminating is a slap in the face to my body and soul because I fought for so much for my body to conceive. From shots, to pills, follicle studies, previous losses etc. This miracle happens. Why not accept it? I love the idea of 3 children. I want them to pile up on me and laugh, tell stories. I want to help them with their problems, make them feel validated and strong. I want to watch children grow and become healthy adults. I am so so proud of my kids now, and I know I will be proud of any that come forward. But I also know that wanting that feeling, and all the ideal family “look” isn’t enough. Love isn’t enough. It’s time, finances, being able to live a healthy lifestyle all around.
Then I also feel the following: I have a family. I have to do not only what’s best for me, but for my family. How will our dynamics change, how will our finances change? Will our children be able to live AS comfortably as before? Are we ready to adjust our lifestyle? Will be be able to push through the hardest years and make it to the 3 kids coming over for dinner in college, and having a movie night? We could live a much better life with two in terms of time, career, money, emotions, being dedicated parents to 2 instead of making it work for 3. There are so many benefits to having 2.
I guess what I’m saying is, I’m afraid and I’m sad. I know I will have grief either way - one short term one long term. The benefit now is that I’m in therapy, I’m medicated, my doctors have a game plan for me in terms of treatment because they know what to expect. I just don’t know how people make these big decisions when money is not a factor.
submitted by twocatsinthehouse_ to Parenting [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 20:00 Cautious_Baker_8329 Donor conception vs natural conception

My greatest blessing is my beautiful son, I would say 80% of me is so happy with being one and done. I never in a million years would have thought I would feel this way but circumstances always change and mentally I struggle with having a similar experience that caused a depressive episode I had when my son was 18 to about 29 months. My son is autistic but I didn’t really realize this until he was about 18 months and completely stopped talking, eating, responding to his name, etc. he had a very drastic regression that was a difficult experience for all of us. I felt like he was scared, confused, unhappy for an entire year almost. Everything seemed to change overnight! He was never unhappy and always engaging but he seemed to slip away. Today he is growing and happy and different but we really are in a wonderful place of acceptance, care, and joy. At the time of regression I was experiencing my second and very dramatic miscarriages in a matter of months that left me being monitored for nearly a half a year for tumor growth. I felt like I was dealing with so much heartbreak and fear and found therapy and anti-depressants to be very helpful in making me present in the moment. Things have been going so well recently but the fear of regression looms over me. I legitimately do not know if I would survive a regression so great again. This is why the idea of a second child is something I have put off the table. My son absolutely loves other children. I feel like I am robbing him of an experience. I enjoy my siblings so much but because of my trauma I’m scared to provide this for my son. We assume my son’s autism is genetic and comes from my husband’s side of the family. Would be likely we have another child with autism that present similar to my son’s, this would not be an issue but the looming thought of going through another regression with another child I feel would control my mental health and well being, effecting my ability to be a good mother. I cannot stress enough that my son’s autism has no weight in this decision. I would say all days are easy, some days are hard but I wouldn’t change a single thing about my son. I have to acknowledge my crippling depression during a regressive episode that several autistic individuals do go through at a similar age. I read that about 40% of autistic individuals go through a aggression around the time my son did. I’m rambling. I hope I am making my point clear. My guilt for not providing a sibling is so great that my husband and I have considered some thing we never thought we would. Having a donor Conceived child. Now morally I don’t know if I have issues with this. I don’t want my amazing son to think I don’t love and accept him fully, this has nothing to do with him but more my ability to experience some thing so traumatic twice that would quite possibly break me. I would be completely happy just the three of us for the rest of our lives but then I feel like previously stated I would be robbing him of something that would make him so happy, he is the most amazing little boy. Is that a good enough reason to have another child? in addition of this, I’ve been trying to listen to the donor Conceived Community. A lot of these experiences can be negative. I don’t go into decisions like these quickly or without doing immense research. The more I research the more conflicted I become I feel like I will always be letting someone down or hurting someone. Please if you have experience to share, I would love to learn from you.
submitted by Cautious_Baker_8329 to moraldilemmas [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:58 Ok_Space_3838 How to deal with American Roaches outside?? Southern AZ

For reference - southern AZ townhouse.
A little over a week ago i was seeing a couple American cockroaches running around in my bathrooms at night (they were nymphs and a couple adults). Got exterminated and just started seeing dead ones in the morning. So I caulked EVERYTHING, especially bathroooms, where they were coming from behind the toilet from the drains. I think this eliminated the problem inside (god bless you, caulk) and we’ve been free of them inside for several days (whoohoo!).
However, we now know they are 100% coming from outside in our enclosed backyard. Our apartments pest control sprayed last week outside, but after realizing they are living in our backyard area, they sprayed again yesterday and especially in the corners where we have exposed pipes and holes (-_-) as well as gaps under our apartment. Woke up to 6 dead this morning outside, a few nymphs and a couple small adults. I also found a MASSIVE dead one in one of the holes where the pipes are. I literally screamed, it was the size of my hand.
I’m just happy they aren’t making their way indoors for now, but what can I do outside? Theres nothing back there but those pipes and holes (and I’m in AZ, so it’s all rocks, no grass.) pest control says nothing can be done but spraying monthly.
submitted by Ok_Space_3838 to pestcontrol [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:52 Simple_Truth3336 I (F18) might be in love with my boyfriend's (19M) friend (18M), but I'm scared that I'm just confused

Hi everyone! English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if I make any mistakes.
So, I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (19M, we'll call him E) for more than a year now. Our relationship has been healthy and full of love, I was happy. However, about two months and a half ago, I started to be friends with one of my bf's friend (18M, he'll be O), and damn, I think I've never felt such a connection with someone before. Our talks lasted hours and we wouldn't even notice, we would care about each other constantly, share our interests passionately, it was beautiful. As time passed, we started to act in a way friends wouldn't normally act, like hugging a lot, holding each other's faces, biting, etc, but this didn't make me uncomfortable, in fact, I must admit that I started to need that kind of physical contact everytime we met to spend time.
Moving forward to monday, O and I met at the university that morning because we had a little problem and we wanted to talk it over. Everything went fine so we spent the rest of the day together, which included going to my home to get lunch. We stayed in my bedroom afterwards, talking shit as always, until we decided to start annoying each other. While playing, he decided to bite my neck (it makes me nervous when someone does that), and that started the worst tension I've ever felt with someone. To not make it that long, the tension continued until he ended up kissing me, to which I responded by getting away and covering my face, absolutely confused because, well, it didn't feel that bad, but I also was trying to avoid that happening before, and I was basically a mess.
O and I decided to stop talking for a while so he could think better about all the situation, and E knows most of the situation and wants me to stop talking to O. The thing is that I miss O very very much, and after all that happened I don't feel the same way when I'm with my boyfriend. His kisses, his hugs and everything else doesn't feel the same, but there's a big chance both O and I are just confused because of how close we became, however if that's not the case I would just be hurting E. What can I do in order to not hurt any of them?
submitted by Simple_Truth3336 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:18 iamthatis 📣 Apollo will close down on June 30th. Reddit’s recent decisions and actions have unfortunately made it impossible for Apollo to continue. Thank you so, so much for all the support over the years. ❤️

Hey all,
It's been an amazing run thanks to all of you.
Eight years ago, I posted in the Apple subreddit about a Reddit app I was looking for beta testers for, and my life completely changed that day. I just finished university and an internship at Apple, and wanted to build a Reddit client of my own: a premier, customizable, well-designed Reddit app for iPhone. This fortunately resonated with people immediately, and it's been my full time job ever since.
Today's a much sadder post than that initial one eight years ago. June 30th will be Apollo's last day.
I've talked to a lot of people, and come to terms with this over the last weeks as talks with Reddit have deteriorated to an ugly point, and in the interest of transparency with the community, I wanted to talk about how I arrived at this decision, and if you have any questions at the end, I'm more than happy to answer. This post will be long as I have a lot of topics to cover.
Please note that I recorded all my calls with Reddit, so my statements are not based on memory, but the recorded statements by Reddit over the course of the year. One-party consent recording is legal in my country of Canada. Also I won't be naming names, that's not important and I don't want to doxx people.

What happened initially?

On April 18th, Reddit announced changes that would be coming to the API, namely that the API is moving to a paid model for third-party apps. Shortly thereafter we received phone calls, however the price (the key element in an announcement to move to a paid API) was notably missing, with the intent to follow up with it in 2-4 weeks.
The information they did provide however was: we will be moving to a paid API as it's not tenable for Reddit to pay for third-party apps indefinitely (understandable, agreed), so they're looking to do equitable pricing based in reality. They mentioned that they were not looking to be like Twitter, which has API pricing so high it was publicly ridiculed.
I was excited to hear these statements, as I agree that long-term Reddit footing the bill for third-party apps is not tenable, and with a paid arrangement there's a great possibility for developing a more concrete relationship with Reddit, with better API support for users. I think this optimism came across in my first post about the calls with Reddit.

When did they announce pricing?

Six weeks later, they called to discuss pricing. I quickly put together a small app where I could input the prices and it would output monthly/yearly cost, cost for free users, paid users, etc. so I'd be able to process the information immediately.
The price they gave was $0.24 for 1,000 API calls. I quickly inputted this in my app, and saw that it was not far off Twitter's outstandingly high API prices, at $12,000, and with my current usage would cost almost $2 million dollars per month, or over $20 million per year.

Why do you say Reddit's pricing is "too high"? By what metric?

Reddit's promise was that the pricing would be equitable and based in reality. The reality that they themselves have posted data about over the years is as follows (copy-pasted from my previous post):
Less than 2 years ago they said they crossed $100M in quarterly revenue for the first time ever, if we assume despite the economic downturn that they've managed to do that every single quarter now, and for your best quarter, you've doubled it to $200M. Let's also be generous and go far, far above industry estimates and say you made another $50M in Reddit Premium subscriptions. That's $550M in revenue per year, let's say an even $600M. In 2019, they said they hit 430 million monthly active users, and to also be generous, let's say they haven't added a single active user since then (if we do revenue-per-user calculations, the more users, the less revenue each user would contribute). So at generous estimates of $600M and 430M monthly active users, that's $1.40 per user per year, or $0.12 monthly. These own numbers they've given are also seemingly inline with industry estimates as well.
Apollo's price would be approximately $2.50 per month per user, with Reddit's indicated cost being approximately $0.12 per their own numbers.
A 20x increase does not seem "based in reality" to me.

Why doesn't Reddit just buy Apollo and other third-party apps?

This was a very common comment across the topics: "If Apollo has an apparent opportunity cost of $20 million per year, why not just buy them and other third-party apps, as they did with Alien Blue?"
I believe it's a fair question. If these apps apparently cost so much, an easy solution that would likely make everyone happy would be to simply buy these apps out. So I brought that up to them during a call on May 31st where I was suggesting a variety of potential solutions.

Bizarre allegations by Reddit of Apollo "blackmailing" and "threatening" Reddit

About 24 hours after that call with Reddit, I received this odd message on Mastodon:
"Can you please comment publicly about the internal Reddit claim that you tried to “blackmail” them for a $10,000,000 payout to “stay quiet”?"
Then yesterday, moderators told me they were on a call with CEO Steve Huffman (spez), and he said the following per their transcript:
Steve: "Apollo threatened us, said they’ll “make it easy” if Reddit gave them $10 million."
Steve: "This guy behind the scenes is coercing us. He's threatening us."
Wow. Because my memory is that you didn't take it as a threat, and you even apologized profusely when you admitted you misheard it. It's very easy to take a single line and make it look bad by removing all the rest of the context, so let's look at the full context.
I can only assume you didn't realize I was recording the call, because there's no way you'd be so blatantly lying if you did.
As said, a common suggestion across the many threads on this topic was "If third-party apps are costing Reddit so much money, why don't they just buy them out like they did Alien Blue?" That was the point I brought up. If running Apollo as it stands now would cost you $20 million yearly as you quote, I suggested you cut a check to me to end Apollo. I said I'd even do it for half that or six months worth: $10 million, what a deal!
The bizarre thing is - initially - on the call you interpreted that as a threat. Even giving you the benefit of the doubt that maybe my phrasing was confusing, I asked for you to elaborate on how you found what I said to be a threat, because I was incredibly confused how you interpreted it that way. You responded that I said "Hey, if you want this to go away…" Which is not at all what I said, so I reiterated that I said "If you want to Apollo to go quiet, as in it's quite loud in terms of API usage".
What did you then say?
Me: "I said 'If you want Apollo to go quiet'. Like in terms of- I would say it's quite loud in terms of its API usage."
Reddit: "Oh. Go quiet as in that. Okay, got it. Got it. Sorry."
Reddit: "That's a complete misinterpretation on my end. I apologize. I apologize immediately."
The admission that you mistook me, and the four subsequent apologies led me to believe that you acknowledged you mistook me and you were apologetic. The fact that you're pretending none of this happened (or was recorded), and instead espousing a different reality where instead of apologizing for taking it as a threat, you're instead going the complete opposite direction and saying "He threatened us!" is so low I almost don't believe it.
But again, I've recorded all my calls with you just in case you tried something like this.
Transcript of this part of the call: https://gist.github.com/christianselig/a9d00a47c99a4d1d3d16bc19e05419c0 Audio of this part of the call: http://christianselig.com/apollo-end/reddit-third-call-may-31-end.m4a
(If you take issue with the call being recorded please remember that I'm in Canada and so long as one participant in the call (me) consents to being recorded, it's legal. If anyone would like the recording of the full call, I'm happy to provide.)
I bring this up for two reasons:

What is an API or an API request anyway?

Some people are confused about this situation and don't understand what an API is. An API (Application Programming Interface) is just a way for an app to talk to a website. As an analogy, pretend Reddit is a bouncer. Historically, you can ask Reddit "Could I have the comments for this post?" or "Can you list the posts in AskReddit?". Those would be one API request each, and Reddit would respond with the corresponding data.
Everything you do on Reddit is an API request. Upvoting, downvoting, commenting, loading posts, loading subreddits, checking for new messages, blocking users, filtering subreddits, etc.
The situation is changing so that for each API request you make, there's a portion of a penny charged to the developer of that app. I think that is very reasonable, provided, well, that the price they charge is reasonable.

Claims that Apollo is "inefficient"

Another common claim by Reddit is that Apollo is inherently inefficient, using on average 345 requests per day per user, while some other apps use 100. I'd like to use some numbers to illustrate why I think this is very unfairly framing it.
Up until a week ago, the stated Reddit API rate limits that apps were asked to operate within was 60 requests per minute per user. That works out to a total of 86,400 per day. Reddit stated that Apollo uses 345 requests per user per day on average, which is also in line with my findings. Thats 0.4% of the limit Reddit was previously imposing, which I would say is quite efficient.
As an analogy (can you tell I love analogies?), to scale the numbers, if I was to borrow my friend’s car and he said “Please don’t drive it more than 864 miles” and I returned the car with 3.4 miles driven, I think he’d be pretty happy with my low use. The fact that a different friend one week only used 1 mile is really cool, but I don't think either person is "inefficient".
That being said, if Reddit would like to see Apollo make further optimizations to get its existing number lower, I’m genuinely more than happy to do so! However the 30 day limit they’ve given me after announcing the pricing to when I will start getting charged significant amounts of money is not enough time to deal with rewriting large parts of my app to lower total requests, while also changing the payment model, transitioning users, and ensuring this is all properly tested and gets through app review.
Further, Reddit themselves said to me that the majority of the cost isn't the server, it's the opportunity cost per user, so the focus on 100 versus 345 calls, rather than the cost per user, doesn't sound genuine. At the very least providing even a bit more time to lower usage to their new targets would be feasible if they've historically provided it, and it's not the majority of the costs anyway.
Me: "Because I assume the majority of it isn't server costs. I assume the majority is the opportunity cost per user."
Reddit: "Exactly."

Why not just increase the price of Apollo?

One option many have suggested is to simply increase the price of Apollo to offset costs. The issue here is that Apollo has approximately 50,000 yearly subscribers at the moment. On average they paid $10/year many months ago, a price I chose based on operating costs I had at the time (server fees, icon design, having a part-time server engineer). Those users are owed service as they already prepaid for a year, but starting July 1st will (in the best case scenario) cost an additional $1/month each in Reddit fees. That's $50,000 in sudden monthly fee that will start incurring in 30 days.
So you see, even if I increase the price for new subscribers, I still have those many users to contend with. If I wait until their subscription expires, slowly month after month there will be less of them. First month $50,000, second month maybe $45,000, then $40,000, etc. until everything has expired, amounting to hundreds of thousands of dollars. It would be cheaper to simply refund users.
I hope you can recognize how that's an enormous amount of money to suddenly start incurring with 30 days notice. Even if I added 12,000 new subscribers at $5/month (an enormous feat given the short notice), after Apple's fees that would just be enough to break even.
Going from a free API for 8 years to suddenly incurring massive costs is not something I can feasibly make work with only 30 days. That's a lot of users to migrate, plans to create, things to test, and to get through app review, and it's just not economically feasible. It's much cheaper for me to simply shut down.

So what is the REAL issue you're having?

Hopefully that illustrates why, even more than the large price associated with the API, the 30 day timeline between when the pricing was announced and developers will be charged is a far, far, far bigger issue and not one I can overcome. Much more time would be needed to overhaul the payment model in my app, transition existing users from existing plans, test the changes, and have users update to the new version.
As a comparison, when Apple bought Dark Sky and announced a shut down of their API, knowing that this API was at the core of many businesses, they provided 18 months before the API would be turned off. When the 18 months came, they ultimately extended it another 12 months, resulting in a total transition period of 30 months. While I'm not asking for that much, Reddit's in comparison is 30 days.

Reddit says you won't get your first bill until August 1st, though!

The issue is the size of the bill, not when it will arrive. Significant, significant charges for the API will start building up with 30 days notice on July 1st, the fact that the bill for those charges being 30 days from then is not important. If you hear that your electricity bill is going up 1,000x and the company tells you, "Don't worry, the bill only comes at the end of the month", I hope you understand how that isn't comforting.

What would be a good price/timeline?

I hope I explained above why the 30 day time limit is the true issue. However in a perfect world I think lowering the price by half and providing a three month transition period to the paid API would make the transition feasible for more developers, myself included. These concessions seem minor and reasonable in the face of the changes.

I thought you said Reddit would be flexible on the timeline?

That was my understanding as well based on what they said on a call on May 4th:
Reddit: "If there's an entity who's like 'Hey I'm showing really good progress', you know trying to like we're trying to get a contract in place, we're trying to do all that type of stuff, I don't think you're going to see us be like, you know, like overly aggressive on that timeline. And I feel pretty confident about that point by the way based on conversations I've heard internally."
However when asking about more time, such as a 90 day transition period to make the changes, they said:
Reddit: "On the 90-day transition, remember that billing doesn't kick in until July 1. So you won't see your first bill from July until the beginning of August, and it won’t be due until the end of August (It’s net 30 day billing). You do, however, have to sign an agreement to get paid level access on July 1."

Did you explicitly ask Reddit for more time?

Yes, my last email to them (including Steve) said:
In terms of timeline, what concerns me most is the short nature of it before I start incurring costs. I have a large amount of users at price points that I won’t be able to afford to support with 30 days notice. For instance, users who subscribed for a year for $10 six months ago when I had no idea any of this was coming, amounts to $0.83 per month or $0.58 after Apple’s cut. Even if I’m able to decrease my API usage down to the number in your charts, that still puts me in the red for everyone of those users for awhile with no recourse. A situation like this is one that is legitimately making me legitimately leaning toward shutting down the app, but one that I could salvage if given more time to transition from the free API to the paid API.
In prior calls you mentioned that provided I kept communicating and progress was being made, the timeline wasn’t an absolute.
Is that still the case, or is it now the case that the date is set in stone?
That was a week ago and I've yet to receive any further contact from Reddit.

Isn't this your fault for building a service reliant on someone else?

To a certain extent, yes. However, I was assured this year by Reddit not even that long ago that no changes were planned to be made to the API Apollo uses, and I've made decisions about how to monetize my business based on what Reddit has said.
January 26, 2023
Reddit: "So I would expect no change, certainly not in the short to medium term. And we're talking like order of years."
Another portion of the call:
January 26, 2023
Reddit: "There's not gonna be any change on it. There's no plans to, there's no plans to touch it right now in 2023.
Me: "Fair enough."
Reddit: "And if we do touch it, we're going to be improving it in some way."

Will you build a competitor? Move to one of the existing alternatives?

I've received so many messages of kind people offering to work with me to build a competitor to Reddit, and while I'm very flattered, that's not something I'm interested in doing. I'm a product guy, I like building fun apps for people to use, and I'm just not personally interested in something more managerial.
These last several months have also been incredibly exhausting and mentally draining, I don't have it in me to engage in something so enormous.

Will you sell Apollo?

Probably not. Maybe if the perfect buyer came along who thought they could turn Apollo into something cool and sustainable, but I'd rather the app just die if it would go to a company that would turn something I worked really hard on into something that would ruin its legacy.
To be clear: I am not threatening anyone in the previous paragraph.

Reddit states that the Twitter comparison is unfair

Reddit stated on the first call that they don't want to be like Twitter:
Reddit: "I think one thing that we have tried to be very, very, very intentional about is we are not Elon, we're not trying to be that, we're not trying to go down that same path. [...] We are trying to do is just use usage-based pricing, that will hopefully be very transparent to you, and very clear to you. Or we're not trying to go down the same path that you may have seen some of our other peers go down."
They now state that the comparison of how close their pricing comes to Twitter is an unfair one, and that when they said that above, they were apparently referring not to the pricing, but to the decision Twitter made to ban third-party apps at a rule level, not a pricing level.
I think regardless of whatever their intent/meaning behind the comparison to Twitter was, the result is the same: the pricing will kill third-party apps, just as Twitter did.
I said this to Reddit, and they responded that they don't think Twitter's pricing is unreasonable, and that if anything, if Twitter reversed the rule about third-party apps, they would probably increase the prices as well.
Just to be clear about how wrong and out of touch that is, without naming names, a formerly very, very high up person at Twitter messaged me on Twitter and said:
"The Reddit api moves are crazy. I’m not sure what choices you have but to move to another network. [...] That pricing is designed to prevent apps like yours forevermore."
So to be clear, even this person thinks this pricing is unreasonable. I do too.

Have you talked to CEO Steve Huffman about any of this?

I requested a call to talk to Steve about some suggestions I had, his response was "Sorry, no. You can give name-redacted a ping if you want."
I've then emailed that person (same person I've been talking to for months) suggestions approximately one week ago about how Apollo could survive this, and I've yet to receive a response.

Do I support the protest/Reddit blackout?

Abundantly. Unlike other social media companies like Facebook and Twitter who pay their moderators as employees, Reddit relies on volunteers to do the hard work for free. I completely understand that when tools they take to do their volunteer, important job are taken away, there is anger and frustration there. While I haven't personally mobilized anyone to participate in the blackout out of fear of retaliation from Reddit, the last thing I want is for that to feel like I don't support the folks speaking up. I wholeheartedly do.
It's been a horrible week, and the kindness Redditors and moderators and communities have shown Apollo and other third-party apps has genuinely made it much more bearable and I am genuinely so appreciative.
I am, admittedly, doubtful Reddit wants to listen to folks anymore so I don't see it having an effect.

Your initial post in April sounded quite optimistic. Are you dumb?

In hindsight, kinda yeah. Many of the other developers and folks I talked to were much less optimistic than I was, but I legitimately had great interactions with Reddit for many years prior to last week (they were kind, communicative, gave me heads up of changes), so when they said they were aiming to have pricing that would be fair and based in reality, I honestly believed them. That was foolish of me in hindsight, and maybe could have had a different outcome if I was more aggressive in the beginning. Sorry. /canadian
(And to be clear, they did indeed say this. They used the word "substantive" and I wanted to make sure we had the same definition of something "having a firm basis in reality and therefore important, meaningful, or considerable")
Reddit: "That's exactly right. And I think, thankfully, the word is exactly the right one. It's going to have a firm basis in reality. I also just looked it up. We're going to try to be as transparent as we can."

Reddit claims they've reached out to developers who were bad users of the API, was Apollo contacted?

On May 31st Reddit posted a chart of large excess usage by some unlabeled API clients, and stated: "We reached out to the most impactful large scale applications in order to work out terms for access above our default rate limits via an enterprise tier."
To be clear, Apollo was never contacted, and I've been told from someone internally that Apollo is indeed not one of the unlabeled API clients.
The only time that Apollo was reached out to by Reddit in any capacity about usage was late last year when we received an email about a 6 minute period where Apollo's server API usage increased by 35% before lowering again. Despite 35% for 6 minutes being a comparatively small blip (the above post references clients that are over by 500000%), we responded within 2 minutes. We offered to jump on a call with Reddit engineers if they needed an answer ASAP, identified the issue within several hours and Reddit thanked us for the fast investigation.
Full email transcript: https://gist.github.com/christianselig/6c71608cf617d2f881cd2849325494c1

Claims that Apollo has made no attempt to be a good user of the API

On the call with moderators, Steve Huffman said:
Steve: "I don't use the app, so I'll give you the best answer I can -- he does scraping so that he can deliver notifications faster, but has done NO EFFORT to be a good citizen of the internet."
First off, Apollo does no scraping, it's purely through authenticated calls to the API and has checks in place to ensure it stays within Reddit's API rate limits. I've open sourced the server code to show this.
Secondly, to say we have made no effort is categorically false. I have so many emails reached out to Reddit on multiple occasions expressing concern about and bugs inefficiencies in the API, or ideas on how to improve things, or significant Reddit bugs that made things hard on us. When Reddit has had questions for us, as discussed above, we immediately jumped into action to get an answer as quickly as possible.
Here's an email of me giving a heads up to Reddit of IP address changes on our server:
Me: "With the new change it'll be maybe like, one IP address. This is all obviously still within the API rate limits as the requests are from individual user accounts that have signed in. Again, long story short the result will be more optimized if anything, I just wanted to give a heads up and ensure that it'd be okay if Reddit suddenly saw the server go from a bunch of different IP addresses to a single one which might cause some confusion if I didn't give a heads up."
Me wanting to make sure we were doing everything as best as we could:
Me: "Everything is going well, we just had a few questions about best practices making sure we’re following any suggestions your team has. Is there any way we could poke someone on your team with a few questions we’ve been having and have a tiny back and forth? We were just seeing some elevated response times, and just thought it would be great if we could maybe describe what we’re doing and see if anything seems off/suboptimal."
Me reporting to Reddit that the API has a serious bug in recording rate limits:
Me: "We obviously respect the rate limit headers and if a user comes close to approaching it (within 50 requests of the 600 every 10 minutes limit) we stop their requests until the refresh period occurs. However we're seeing some users have very, very weird rate limit headers. Things like "requests remaining: 0, requests made: 17,483, reset: 598 seconds left" which indicates they've somehow made over 17 thousand requests in two seconds which seems hard to believe."
Me suggesting to Reddit improvements that could help improve efficiency of notification API calls:
Me: "So like little stuff like that, where even if there's a streaming client or some way to minimize the calls there, I think it would help us both out enormously."
Further, when making suggestions to your own employees, they themselves have expressed concern about how terrible the public API is:
Call on January 26, 2023
Reddit: "I cannot tell you how painful it is to use our API. [...] The API needs to change. Like it's just unusable. I am surprised that you're able to build a functional app on it to be honest."

Claims that third-party apps are not interested in talking

Steve: "Why not work with the third party apps? Their existence is not a priority for us. We don't use them. I don't use them. It's a part of our traffic but not a lot, and it's a lot of work on our side to keep them alive. If I have to choose where to put our effort, we're going to focus internally. I'm kind of open to it, but I haven't – and I can't convince you, but I don't get the sense that they want to work with us either."
I'm genuinely not sure where Steve has got the impression that I don't want to work with him. Despite reaching out multiple times and him declining to talk, I've stated multiple times on calls, literally saying the words "I definitely still want to talk".
Reddit: "What I'm hearing is like, Yeah, great. We have this disagreement on pricing methodology, etc. But any feasible number that we get to, any number that's even in, the zip code of what we're sharing with you is unfeasible from your perspective financially. So it's like arguing around the edges of that price thing is like, it just won't make any sense to you. And I presume also just given the NSFW stuff and the removal of ads that makes it even more trickier." Me: Yeah. I mean, to be very clear, I'm not saying I'm walking away from the negotiation table and taking my basketball and going home and just gonna kick up a storm. That's not my intention at all. I definitely still want to talk. I'm not asking you to lower the price by a hundred times or something. I don't think – depending on what you mean by zip code – I don't think I'm so unreasonable that I'm requiring you to bend over backwards here."
I've also emailed Steve and the other contact directly stating that I'm interested in talking, and including ideas for how we could come to a solution:
Me: "I understand where Reddit's coming from in this. A free API, while appreciated, is not tenable for you especially heading into an IPO, and my only goal here is to come to a solution where we both feel understood. I also hear you that killing third-party clients isn't actually the goal, and in that spirit have been working on how to address your concerns from my end: [...]"
I don't know how you can say I'm not interested in talking when you haven't my most recent email in a week. To say it once more, I was very interested in talking.
On the other side of things, per the transcript, Steve and the other admin on the call don't even know when the discussions with third-party apps began.
Steve: "When did we start talking with them?"
AnAbsurdlyAngryGoose: "What month did you first start?"
Steve: "FlyingLaserTurtles? Do you remember? April or May of this year."
FlyingLaserTurtles: "Maybe late March? But yes."

Claims that Reddit has been talking to developers for months talking about these changes

Steve: "We've been in contact with third party apps for MONTHS, talking about these coming changes."
When you announce that the API will be charging developers, the most important portion of that conversation is what will be charged, which was not available for almost two months after the initial call. From the time developers were told the price, to the time developers will be subject to the price, is 30 days, not "months". Months would have been very helpful, in fact.

What about existing subscriptions?

I've been talking to my rep at Apple, and over the next few weeks my plan is to release something similar to what Tweetbot did (Paul has been incredibly helpful in all of this) where folks can decide if they want a pro-rated refund on any existing time left in their subscription as Apollo will not be able to afford to continue it, or they can decline the refund if they're feeling kind and have enjoyed their time with Apollo.
For the curious, refunding all existing subscriptions by my estimates will cost me about $250,000.

A nice send off at WWDC

Apollo got mentioned a few times during Apple's 2023 WWDC keynote, even by Craig Federighi himself, and even during the Vision Pro announcement showing Apollo as one of the existing apps compatible with the headset (I'm sorry I won't be able to see that happen).
I was lucky enough to be there in person and it felt incredible. Some folks asked if there was any deeper meaning behind that, and while that would be cool, in all reality these things are so well produced that they've been done for a while now, so I'm sure it's just a coincidence, even if it's a really cool one.

Extra icons

A funny amount of people have reached out wondering about all the extra monthly icons I had queued up for Apollo. I love them, was so excited for them, and I'll make them available immediately for the short time left, but if you're curious here's a screenshot of all of them: https://christianselig.com/apollo-end/remaining-icons.png
We ended up with well over 100 custom icons created by incredibly talented designers, and I'm really sorry to those designers who didn't get to see their work launched in the app (to be clear, don't worry, I paid them all – there isn't some bs "exposure" agreement – but it's fun to have your icon launch and I feel bad!)

When is Apollo's last day? What will happen?

In order to avoid incurring charges I will delete Apollo's API token on the evening of June 30th PST. Until that point, Apollo should continue to operate as it has, but after that date attempts to connect to the Reddit API will fail.
I will put up an explainer in the app prior to that which will go live at that date. I will also provide a tool to export any local data you have in Apollo, such as filters or favorites.

Thank you

I want to thank a lot of people who have made this last week bearable. First and foremost, the communities, Redditors, and moderators who have reached out in support of third-party apps, making Reddit's gaslighting a lot more bearable in making me feel like at least someone was understanding me and in my corner.
My girlfriend's been absolutely incredible and supportive. This year was our 10th anniversary, and Monday was her 30th birthday. We're down in California for Apple's WWDC and had a bunch of things planned to do for her birthday afterward, and I feel terrible that we're flying home early to deal with all of this instead of making her 30th special. I'll make it up to her.
André Meidoros worked on the Apollo server component with me for the last two years, and it's been an absolute joy to work with a professional who knows so much on that side of things.
The iOS developer community has been unbelievably kind to me over the past several weeks, I've spent the last week with many of them, even staying at an Airbnb with a bunch of them (they ordered me pizza as I wrote this post!), and I've got so many hugs and condolences haha. Specifically want to thank Paul Haddad of Tweetbot/Tapbots/Ivory, Ryan Jones, Brian Mueller, Curtis Herbert, André Meidoros, Quinn Nelson, Paul Hudson, Majd Taby, Ryan McLeod, Phill Ryu, Larry Hryb, Charlie Chapman, Mustafa Yusuf, Adrian Eves, Devin Davies, Jordan Morgan, Yariv Nassim, Will Sigmon, Barry Hershman, Joe Rossignol, Michael Simmons, Joe Fabisevich, my family, and so, so many more.
Also want to thank everyone at Apple who have gone out of their way to be incredibly kind here (I don't know if I'm allowed to name names but you know who you are).

I'll be fine

No bullshit, I'll be fine. Through pure chance last year I spun off my silly Pixel Pals idea into a separate app, and that actually makes good revenue on the side. I also have savings. Recently (like last week) my city had its worst wildfires in history with over 100 homes destroyed. That's brutal, losing an app is sad, but it's been helpful to me to recognize how much worse it could be just literally down the street from me.
Honestly. Apollo had an incredible run, I met the coolest people, by my last count talked with folks over 15,000 times in our subreddit about Apollo, and raised over $80,000 for my local animal shelter through Apollo. I feel incredibly fortunate.
I think I'll rewatch Ted Lasso though.

Supporting my work

I build a second app called Pixel Pals that I spun off from Apollo that's thankfully done pretty well and I'll be spending more time on going forward. If you like the idea of digital pets it's a really fun app to check out. https://pixelpa.ls

Media

If any media/press folks have any questions, please shoot me an email rather than messaging me on Reddit, I missed a few last week because my inbox was blowing up. My email is [email protected]

AMA

I think I covered everything, but if there's any questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer!
In the event that this post is taken down or you want to link somewhere else, it's also available at https://apolloapp.io
Thanks for everything over these last 8 years,
- Christian
submitted by iamthatis to apolloapp [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:17 MichaelMaugerEsq This week...

Entire family is sick with a severe cold. Both kids (6m & 21m) are congested as hell and have had on and off fevers and haven't had a full nights sleep since mid week last week.
We're supposed to go on a week long vacation to the beach on Saturday, so my wife and I are trying to take care of sick kids, work full time, and prep for this trip.
Dishwasher broke Monday. Repair guy came this morning to tell me it would cost almost as much to fix it as it would to just buy a new one.
Last night neighbors knocked on our door to tell us that our chimney was spewing black smoke, so we have someone coming out this afternoon to take a look at our burner - and I've been told to prepare for the probability that we'll need a new burnewater heater.
Oh and our skies look apocalyptic due to Canada's forest fire, even though we're outside of Philadelphia and I don't understand science or weather.
Yes, we're all going to be fine, and it's just money and all that. I'm counting my blessings. But this week needs to fucking end.
submitted by MichaelMaugerEsq to 2under2 [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:11 Exotic-Insurance5684 Post groomer issues

My 4 yr old doodle was groomed on Monday. He was VERY shaggy because the waiting list around here for grooming is so long so it took them a while. Normally, he acts a bit off for a day after grooming. He’s an anxious dog so I know it’s not a fun experience. But he’s been so depressed! He’s eating but not wanting to play or interact. No signs of pain or injury. It’s been 3 days - is this normal? Picture is how he spends his day now when he’s normally upbeat and happy. I don’t know what to do.
submitted by Exotic-Insurance5684 to Goldendoodles [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:04 Chirazia My MDZS collection is finally complete and I SWEAR i almost cried when i realized i bought the last volume… it’s like everything is over since the drama, audio drama, donghua and manhua are finished (thank god Mao Tuan exists and blesses us every Monday)

My MDZS collection is finally complete and I SWEAR i almost cried when i realized i bought the last volume… it’s like everything is over since the drama, audio drama, donghua and manhua are finished (thank god Mao Tuan exists and blesses us every Monday) submitted by Chirazia to MoDaoZuShi [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 19:00 ThrowRAeternal7 I (33m) have been with my partner (28f) for 8 years. We have been drifting apart emotionally and physically. Now I’ve met someone through work but she also has a partner.

Our relationship: Like I said we have been together for 8 years and we have had plenty of ups and downs. In the past 6 months or so her negativity has really increased as far as general comments and attitude. I recently recovered from kidney failure and transplant. She really helped me through this process. Now, I’m in the best shape of my life and my perspective on life has drastically changed. I used to be cynical and judgmental but have really shifted in the past year. In addition, my career has taken off. I’m making more money, feel comfortable in my profession, and I expect that trend to continue. So, in general, I’m feeling great about life. She on the other hand feels stuck in life and in her career. I give a ton of support and we talk constantly about how things will get better and in the meantime I can help her financially. Despite putting in what I feel is a decent effort to help her get through this period it doesn’t seem to help. Emotionally, I’m torn. I think there is a way out of this in which we stick together but each day is becoming more torturous. I literally feel that sinking feeling in my stomach when she says certain things that come from a state of depression and anger. She obviously senses the distance and takes it close to heart. Our sex life has declined for sure. I’m losing attraction and she knows. Basically, in every aspect the relationship is declining but I still have some slim hope of reconnecting. On the other hand, I feel like I have been blessed with a new life and have gained some lost years of my life back.
New girl: So in the past 3 months I have been becoming more attracted to my coworker. We work in separate departments so there is no direct crossover (shit where you eat type thing). We go on lunch every Wednesday and generally spend an hour to an hour and a half in conversation. The vibes are good and we both find each other intriguing. I have picked up on her mimicking my phrases and responses to thing and I can sense a genuine connection growing between us. The thing with her is that she is also in a relationship (I believe 2 years). We are both interested in the same things, conversations are rewarding, she is definitely more intelligent than I am, is already on a decent career track, etc. To be honest, I do find her more attractive but I’m not sure if that’s just bc it’s more fresh. Also, she has opened my eyes to a potential new life but I don’t necessarily want to pursue someone who is taken. I do think she is interested and could be a potential partner.
My request: If anyone has been in this situation before please help! I just want to feel happy in my romantic life and build upon something that feels more stable. I could careless about kids but I could see some down the road. I want to grow, become more active, and live this beautiful life that has been restored within me. Should I recommit to my existing relationship or should I break up and move toward something new? If new is it ok to pursue someone who is taken? (To be clear, I would never cheat. Clean break or nothing)
submitted by ThrowRAeternal7 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:59 CobaltBoy- RISE FROM THE DEAD!!!!!! NYAHAHAHAH

RIIIIISE FITNESSFEMBOY RISSEEEEEEE!!!!!!
If you want any tips for workouts just ask :3
I currently do Rowing ^w^ I also do a lot of walking :> I'm blessed with INSANE metabolism but CURSED with an indented chest. So I aint got an average body x3
I can recommend drinking 3.5L/Day (if you do exercise said day). More or less depending on you weight .
Love yall, stay hydrated and happy ^w^
(Funni post about wanting this sub alive. Yes, you must laugh >;3)
submitted by CobaltBoy- to FitnessFemboy [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:53 youshantdoit As the only brother to 3 sisters, I feel some (muslim) men can be more kind and polite when dealing with women.

This post is about my elder sister.
My elder sister who is married is the sweetest person (ma sha Allah) I know. Whenever I am reminded of her I always get slightly emotional thinking how patient she is to everything that goes on in her life. As a child, she was one of those who got scared easy and never threw any tantrums. Not even once as far as I remember (ma sha Allah). She had her struggles too. She was claustrophobic. She couldn’t go to theatres because they would close the doors, she wouldn’t use elevators (lifts), etc. because she always got panic attacks. So, we made sure that she is never in those situations, as much as we could.
She has two kids, a boy and a girl, Alhumdulillah.
Recently our doctor suggested her to take preventive medicine for a condition that has been with our family (hereditary).
This condition requires her to go for an MRI which is a huge problem for her since she is claustrophobic. Almost 10 years ago, she went for an MRI which was a struggle in itself to convince her and when it happened, it took 40+ minutes to complete and she was numb after she came out as she was in huge stress.
Now, when our doctor is asking her to go for an MRI again after 10 years, she is reminded of that past experience and is refusing to go for it, even crying. I feel so bad for her coz she is my sweet sister. May Allah bless her with happiness. But she knew it was important to do, so she went online and found out that there are open MRI machines designed especially for people are claustrophobic.
Now about her husband, he is a different type of a person but overall he is a good man who provides for his family and kids but he can be more polite and understanding in his approach towards his wife especially.
Since his marriage to my sister, he has encouraged her to overcome her fears. She now uses elevators when he is with her. Alone she still uses stairs no matter how many floors.
Some of that sounds good and it is fine but now he is forcing her to go for the closed MRI just because he wants her to fight her fears. She keeps telling him that she will go for open MRI but he won’t budge.
I have found him to be very stubborn in several situations in the past and he is just being stubborn again.
Nobody goes for MRI daily like they use elevators that he has to make this whole thing blow out of proportion and torture my sister forcing her to go for this closed MRI only. If it was something that was bothering their routine life then it is a separate matter but it’s just a procedure where easier alternative is also present. But he won’t budge.
He complains that because my sister is not very bold, out and about, their son is also growing up timid, etc.
I respect this man because he is my brother in law but some of the behaviour of their 10 year old son, my nephew, makes me feel that my brother in law must look down upon women, in general, since my nephew says things which shock me. Nothing vulgar but as if that women are second class people.
What is your opinion on this situation? How do brothers deal with situations where the BIL is not being an ideal husband to their sisters?
submitted by youshantdoit to MuslimLounge [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:50 fsgfoeva Stream #8 Full Summary

This one was quite long. TLDR: first look at gacha, 6th class (blitz lancer) in august, breakdown of monetization and prices, breakdown of upcoming content for july and august.

Stream 8 overview

Official Launch Time (14:14)

The Japanese service will be available on June 14th 12:00 JST. The Regnas Store will be open after a 3 hour maintenance, or earlier, if no problems are found.

Preregistration Campaigns (15:47)

Preregistration is still ongoing on the official site. Additional rewards (alongside the dyes) were added; 10x happy firecrackers and increased rewards for the Start Dash Login Bonus.
The 10,000 retweet milestone for the Feste battle imagine, given to all players, was reached in 23 minutes. The giveaway for the gaming PC and Webmoney, and the lottery for Amazon gift cards, are ongoing until the day before launch.
Predownload has been made available through the Bandai Namco Launcher on June 6th. You can make a character ahead of time on the Benchmark Software, but not through the predownloaded official client.

Start Dash Campaign (21:03)

Six promotional campaigns starting on launch day. Details will be on the website on launch day.

1. Rookie Adventurer Curriculum (22:22)

June 14 to August 16

Start Dash Login Bonus

Daily rewards for logging in, up to 10 days. The regular Login Bonus is per-account, but this event Start Dash Login Bonus is per-character.
  1. Luno 10,000 30,000
  2. Battle Imagine Feste (a) set x1 (from retweet campaign)
  3. Gacha ticket x1 x3
  4. Dungeon-use: Kita-ale G1 / 3d x1
  5. Dungeon-use: Fue-luno G1 / 3d x1
  6. Resource selection box x5
  7. Dungeon-use: Kita-ale G1 / 3d x1
  8. Dungeon-use: Fue-luno G1 / 3d x1
  9. GC x1000 x2000
  10. Land Fox Tail selection box x1

Start Dash Bonus Quests (24:45)

Clear quests to get rewards.

Limited-time season point increase! (27:00)

Gain increased amount of season points (for use with the season pass).

2. Team Formation Campaign (28:32)

June 14 to July 12 Create a Team (guild) and level it up to Rank 2. All members are rewarded a Gem Ring (crimson) and Ability Plugs.

3. Connect-Coupon Support Campaign (29:57)

June 14 to July 12 Get rewards based on how many Connect Coupons you distribute. Players whose coupons are used 10+ are entered into a raffle where 100 winners will get 500 Free Rose Orbs.
A Connect Coupon is a discount code you can give to other players. They can be generated in the Regnas Store (top right) after reaching Adv. Rank 1 and clearing at least 1 daily quest. One code can be generated per account. They last for 14 days and cannot be used on yourself. Items where the coupon can be used will be indicated with a blue hexagon icon.
Player A can distribute a Connect Coupon to Players B, C, etc., which can use it for discounts in the Rose Orb Store. Player B can only use Player A's coupon code once. Player A will get BP Points based on how many people use their coupon code--they can only see they how many times it's been used, not who used it or what they bought.
BP Points can be used at the BP Point Store for various items.

4. Screenshot Contest Round 1 (34:07)

June 14 to July 12 A bulletin board for posting screenshots will be up on the site. Rules regarding image size, editing, and allowed content will be announced later.

5. Grand Opening Payment Campaign (36:32)

June 14 to July 12

Total Spending Presents (36:39)

Bonus Rose Orbs w/ Webmoney (37:17)

When buying Rose Orbs with Webmoney, there's a 1 in 10 chance to get 10% extra orbs for free.

Follow on Twitter (37:34)

Follow BLUE PROTOCOL on twitter and retweet the specific tweet for a chance to win a 5000 yen Webmoney card (100 winners).

6. Network Cafe Campaign (37:51)

June 14 to July 12 Play at partnered Net Cafes for extra rewards! N Coins can be exchanged for gacha tickets, beauty salon tickets, special outfits and more.
  1. For every 20 minutes played at a net cafe, get 20 N coins 26 N coins during the event period (1.3x normal)
  2. Get 1.3x increased EXP from clearing dungeons and defeating overworld enemies
  3. Enemy drop rates increased by 1.3x (excluding treasure chests)

Monetization (40:37)

Rose Orbs have Paid and Free versions, and can be used for Season Passes; and Gacha and the Rose Orb Store inside of the Regnas Store. The Regnas Store also includes Rose Orb Purchase, BP Points store, and Season Store.
Rose Orbs have a limited duration; they will expire on the 5th month (starting from the month of purchase) on the last day at 23:59. Expired Rose Orbs will be automatically deleted.

Rose Orb Prices (41:04)

Limited deals (once per account; purchase restriction will be reset once the sale period ends)
Payment methods:

Rose Orb Store contents (42:05)

Some items shown to have the "Can use Connect Coupon" icon. Others were not shown so there may be more items you can use the coupon on.

Packs

Grand Opening Pack M/F (500 orbs) *can use Connect Coupon
Beginners Pack (110 orbs) *can use Connect Coupon Once per character

Outfits

Watcher series outfit box (450 orbs) Cunning Watcher series outfit box (450 orbs)

Mounts

Land Fox mount - Midnight (450 orbs)

Accessories

Twin tail extensions (100 orbs) *matches your current hair color Lily Earrings (55 orbs) Oval Glasses (100 orbs) Solitaire Ring (55 orbs)

Stamps

Einrain stamp set (55 orbs)

Emotes

Too Easy (90 orbs) Mocking (90 orbs)

Other

Dungeon-use: Kita-ale G1 / 7d (50 orbs) Dungeon-use: Kita-ale G1 / 12h (20 orbs) Dungeon-use: Fue-luno G1 / 7d (50 orbs) Dungeon-use: Fue-luno G1 / 12h (20 orbs) Rewards Plus ticket x1 (20 orbs) - 3 per day Dye-remover (20 orbs) Character name change ticket x1 (240 orbs) - 1 per month Happy Firecracker - Blue x10 (20 orbs) Normal Salon Course ticket x2 (145 orbs) *can use Connect Coupon Normal Salon Course ticket x1 (90 orbs) *can use Connect Coupon Type-change Salon Course ticket (220 orbs) *can use Connect Coupon

Gacha (45:40)

One gacha ticket is consumed per spin. Tickets can be acquired through clearing content, season pass, etc. 1 ticket: 50 Rose Orbs 11 tickets: 500 Rose Orbs

Banners

Outfit gacha is separated by M/F.
Rates are on the website and in-game. The types above are rewarded from S rank capsule. It's possible to get duplicates. Opening an S rank capsule will reward the entire outfit, not just a piece of the outfit.

10-spin gift (49:46)

Spinning a gacha banner 10 times will reward the following:

Duplicates (51:37)

If you obtain a duplicate item from gacha, you can do 3 things with it:
  1. Mail it to another character on your account
  2. Mail it to a friend
  3. Exchange it for BP Points

Mail

Items that cannot be mailed can not be sent. Items can be mailed within 7 days of obtaining the item (timer shown in-game). Sending letters cannot be undone. Items claimed from mail cannot be sent again. You can only send to people you have been friends with for 14 days.

BP Points Exhange (53:04)

The BP Points Exchange can be accessed through the Regnas Store. Items that cannot be exchanged are marked, and items become un-exchangable if equipped.

BP Points Store contents (55:11)

Contains selection boxes for the outfits and mounts in the above Gacha banners. Contains Feste (b) Battle Imagine recipes and Idea (material). Contains Gas Mask, Fairy Wing - Aqua, Extension Type 1, Land Fox Tail accessory.
Explanation of Feste (b) Battle Imagine (55:46)

Season Pass (57:53)

Season 1: June 14 ~ Aug 13 23:59. A season is 50~60 days long. Clear the indicated quests to get Season Points, which are used to rank up your pass level and claim rank rewards (will automatically rank up to a certain point). After reaching a certain rank, you can also spend Season Points at the Season Point Store.
Ranks can also be purchased with Rose Orbs: 30 orbs per rank. Specific rank rewards can be checked in-game or on the site.

Free: Basic Plan

Maxes at rank 60. At max level, gain all materials required to craft Lv. 40 battle imagine Einrain (a). Rewards include an outfit.

Paid: Advanced & Royal Plan

Maxes at rank 100. At max level, gain all materials required to craft Lv. 50 battle imagine Einrain (b). Advanced costs 180 Rose Orbs. Royal costs 550 Rose Orbs and grants an extra 25 ranks to start. Both of these add additional quests to get points. Rewards include an emote.
After maxing one of these passes, you geet the Next Season Paid Plan Discount, which discounts the next season pass by 180 Rose Orbs. So if you buy the Advanced Pass once and max it out each time, you won't have to pay for another pass.

Other rewards

Not mentioned which pass they are in:

Season Store (1:05:19)

A store where you can spend Season Points. Contains outfits, accessories, crafting guaranteed great success tickets, healing aroma G1, luno, etc. (some have purchase limits).

Update Roadmap #2 (1:06:28)

They remade the roadmap image, slightly offseting the Season timelines since they can start/end in the middle of the month. Players were confused before as to why Season 1 started 2 weeks after launch, so this was fixed for clarification.

Raids (1:07:48)

Raid entry is on a schedule. The default raid Void's Island is always available, while a second, harder raid will be swapped out with a different one each update. Monday ~ Friday between 14:00~15:00, 18:00~19:00, and 22:00~23:00. Saturday & Sunday between 8:00~9:00, 12:00~13:00, 16:00~17:00, 20:00~21:00, next day 1:00~2:00.

Time Attack/Score Attack (1:08:54)

Solo dungeons with leaderboards, separated by class. These dungeons will rotate game mode and map every 2 weeks, starting with Time Attack (map X) at launch, then Score Attack (map Y) on week 3, and then Time Attack (map Z) on week 5, etc. There's a schedule of the maps and their dates at 1:12:44.

Time Attack (Dragon Claw Valley)

Based on your clear time, there are one-time rewards:
Additionally, there are ranking rewards. Rankings are displayed on the Leaderboards in towns.
Titles and Crowns are time-limited. They will be rewarded when the TA period ends, and will last until the next TA period ends--for 4 weeks.
Something else mentioned about Champion--the person with the most crowns? at 1:12:20 but not sure what they mean.

Next 2 months of updates (1:14:53)

A specific breakdown of what's coming up. Not many images since they aren't final, and these may change before they are released.
July
August (1:21:39)

Announcements (1:23:44)

Partnership with 4gamer, a Japanese game news site, where there will be interviews, articles, game guides, and perhaps other community content.
You will need to set a PIN in-game starting on the second login, to secure your account. It's entered by mouse so be careful not to stream it.
Play by the rules and respect other players.
Next stream is planned to be #9 in early July.

Post-stream gameplay showcase (1:51:03)

They showed some never-before-seen stuff, like Score Attack (2:04:15) and Evergreen Desert (including Salamzart Oasis) after a short intermission. The rest of the stream is unscripted, and they show off things like new enemies, weapon skins, outfits, emotes, accessories, and Einrain battle imagines. Photo mode can now pause skills as well, which was earlier stated to not be supported, although the effects won't pause (1:54:03).
submitted by fsgfoeva to blueprotocol [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:50 youshantdoit As the only brother to 3 sisters, I feel some (muslim) men can be more kind and polite when dealing with women.

This post is about my elder sister.
My elder sister who is married is the sweetest person (ma sha Allah) I know. Whenever I am reminded of her I always get slightly emotional thinking how patient she is to everything that goes on in her life. As a child, she was one of those who got scared easy and never threw any tantrums. Not even once as far as I remember (ma sha Allah). She had her struggles too. She was claustrophobic. She couldn’t go to theatres because they would close the doors, she wouldn’t use elevators (lifts), etc. because she always got panic attacks. So, we made sure that she is never in those situations, as much as we could.
She has two kids, a boy and a girl, Alhumdulillah.
Recently our doctor suggested her to take preventive medicine for a condition that has been with our family (hereditary).
This condition requires her to go for an MRI which is a huge problem for her since she is claustrophobic. Almost 10 years ago, she went for an MRI which was a struggle in itself to convince her and when it happened, it took 40+ minutes to complete and she was numb after she came out as she was in huge stress.
Now, when our doctor is asking her to go for an MRI again after 10 years, she is reminded of that past experience and is refusing to go for it, even crying. I feel so bad for her coz she is my sweet sister. May Allah bless her with happiness. But she knew it was important to do, so she went online and found out that there are open MRI machines designed especially for people are claustrophobic.
Now about her husband, he is a different type of a person but overall he is a good man who provides for his family and kids but he can be more polite and understanding in his approach towards his wife especially.
Since his marriage to my sister, he has encouraged her to overcome her fears. She now uses elevators when he is with her. Alone she still uses stairs no matter how many floors.
Some of that sounds good and it is fine but now he is forcing her to go for the closed MRI just because he wants her to fight her fears. She keeps telling him that she will go for open MRI but he won’t budge.
I have found him to be very stubborn in several situations in the past and he is just being stubborn again.
Nobody goes for MRI daily like they use elevators that he has to make this whole thing blow out of proportion and torture my sister forcing her to go for this closed MRI only. If it was something that was bothering their routine life then it is a separate matter but it’s just a procedure where easier alternative is also present. But he won’t budge.
He complains that because my sister is not very bold, out and about, their son is also growing up timid, etc.
I respect this man because he is my brother in law but some of the behaviour of their 10 year old son, my nephew, makes me feel that my brother in law must look down upon women, in general, since my nephew says things which shock me. Nothing vulgar but as if that women are second class people.
What is your opinion on this situation? How do brothers deal with situations where the BIL is not being an ideal husband to their sisters?
submitted by youshantdoit to islam [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:46 Glittering-Gap-6339 How do I get Frontier’s attention for a random charge and website error?

How do I get Frontier’s attention for a random charge and website error?
I just filed a complaint with frontier today and I thought I could get my money back no problem but their response made it seem like they didn’t even read my request.
Basically, the day of my flight I went to check in and get online tickets but I wasn’t able to because there was supposedly $47 in my cart that could not be explained anywhere. I panicked and put my card info in just so I could get my tickets. That still didn’t work and I got a an error message every time I tried to check in. To make things worse my account then had a -$47 credit so I basically paid myself? When I got to the airport the desk employees weren’t able to give me the money back or my tickets for free which was not their fault, they were very sympathetic. They ended up paying for the printed tickets with the 47 credit and they explained they couldn’t give me the $3 difference but I was just happy to be able to get on my flight. God bless the employee who attempted to give me cash out of her own pocket. It was so weird, it was like the employees had no power to resolve like anything.
I filed a complaint with this same story and the email I got back is included here. I feel like frontier is run by robots or something.
I know it’s only $47 but honestly it’s not at the same time, money is really tight for me right now and this is basically food for me for a week.
I sent an email back that I wasn’t happy with the response and that I was confused as to why they couldn’t help me but is there anything I can do from here?
I’m going to include screenshot of the website failing as well.
submitted by Glittering-Gap-6339 to frontierairlines [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:44 vvioletade AITA for saying WOOO after winning a “for fun” tennis match

alright just to start off, I think this entire situation is stupid but would like some more opinions about it. to start off I (f16) was with some of my other friends for a field day back on monday for school. the main people (fake names) kelly (f15), kelly’s bf nick (m16?), sarah (f16), sammy (f16) were all playing tennis just for fun on a 3v2 team. Sarah, sammy and i were all on the same team while kelly and her bf were on the same team. kelly is the only who plays tennis and knows any of the rules, the rest of us know minimal. while i’m with them i do mention that “kelly so the only here who actually knows how to play” sometime during our set. and we got through one set which my team ended up winning and sarah and i jumped up and went like “wooooo” because we were happy we won and that was basically it when kelly told us we were being showboaters, sarah asked what this meant and kelly said “when someone brags about how they won especially at someone who does said thing” and then she back tracks and was like “not you guys though” and then i say “that kinda contradicts your previous statement” and i think kelly and i chuckled after that. sammy’s boyfriend shows up and sarah’s asks me to 1v1. when we walk away, me and sarah agree that what kelly said was kinda off and unneeded. we played our 1v1s for a bit a leave. we also told another friend who was there eve (nb16) about it, when we left, and they just laughed a bit. the next day as sarah and i are in the lunch line and she tells me she thinks kelly is still mad at her, and i wasn’t sure about it. when we go sit down, kelly talks to nick, sammy’s bf, sammy but won’t talk or look at me and sarah. which is a common thing she will do when she’s upset. she won’t talk to you about it but won’t talk to you, will give dry answers and won’t look at you. the next day, me sammy kelly and nick are walking to lunch and nick ends up making kelly mad because he wouldn’t stop messing with her when she said to stop. and when he left to class he told sammy she was mad he wouldn’t stop. and then sammy walks into the cafeteria while we walk to the line, and i ask her what he did and she says “nothing” then speeds up and walks away from me. and then at lunch she only talks to sammy and not me (sarah’s wasn’t present) so i get up and just leave the table. and since kelly has still been ignoring us. i think it’s very immature and she could atleast talk to us about it. sammy did tell sarah however that kelly said she isn’t mad anymore but she just doesn’t want to talk to us. and sammy agrees that’s it’s all stupid.
me and sarah think she’s being immature about not talking to us about it and just milking it now. but what do you guys think? sorry it’s lengthy
submitted by vvioletade to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:31 Treenutqween New job burnout blues

Tl;dr: I’m burned out and a three week break from working was not enough. The family is great and all but I’m praying after my first week things settle down and they don’t feel the need to be around to “help”. I want to quit (in favor of idk what, a more consistent gig I guess?) bc burnout but feel guilty even thinking that bc they wanted an extra month for me to start. I’m going to stick it out but the idea is daunting and I’m already exhausted after only 2 days. I also think I’d feel this way at any job but maybe just a little less with parents who exclusively work outside the home. I just needed to vent and let it out somewhere.
I started a new job which is part time which is amazing for my brain. I’ve been in burnout for nearly 2 years and recovery is hard and feels impossible.
The parents are great and the baby is lovely and cute as a button - well she naps terribly which makes days feel long but generally she’s a happy baby so while I’m exhausted getting only 20-30 minute breaks it’s not so bad. But the dynamic is just weird. It probably just be because it’s my first day. I’m all for allowing parents to do whatever they need to feel comfortable leaving me with their baby so I’m not going to tell them no- but I despise WFH parents. Which I knew when I started the job so it’s on me for sure. And again it’s only my first week so I assume things will wind down and fall into a normal routine- but Monday I worked along side MB as like an orientation. Okay cool. Tuesday DB was around a lot, which again okay. Today I work around bedtime and MB was like “You guys [me and db] can do bedtime together” like 🤨 just tell me what to do and where things are and I got it. But again I want them to feel comfortable and confident so I feel like I just have to grin and bear it for the time being at least. Also their car, MB was like maybe DB can go with you to the library the first time, he did with the temp nanny incase she had issues with it. But I’ve driven many a car- two different kinds of hybrid Volvos, a mini van, an older volvo, my own Toyota and even a Tesla- so I’m not worried about having trouble driving a new vehicle. But I’m just praying this doesn’t go on longer than this week because I will lose it. The only reason I took the job was because DB assured me that we would work something out so he’s not around or in the way (his words not mine) so much, so I’m hopeful but idk I guess the first few days are always tough and I’m already burned out, just moved to a new state with my partner which is also new and I’m autistic and do not do well with change and as dramatic as it sounds my whole life has essential changed. It’s good things but change is change.
Yes I know if it gets to that point we will have a conversation. But I just needed to vent about it because I think about quitting a lot and feel guilty because I just started. They also waited for me an extra month past when they actually needed a nanny so I feel like I have to stick it out no matter what. And i know it’s mostly my burnout talking. I can’t afford to not work and a vacation won’t help- I was just off for three weeks and I’ve worked two days this week and I already feel tapped out. Dreaming of calling out but I just started so it’s not an option really. My schedule also changes. I have GH so I get paid the same regardless but some days it’s 8-5, some is 8-12 and some it’s 3-6. I’ve written it down in two calendars because I’m anxious about forgetting after a similar incident. And the inconsistency is hard for my brain because I can’t establish a routine for our days and the calendar is already something I struggle with. I get my schedule well in advance (I already know through august) so I won’t complain too much but it is tricky.
Anyways I just needed to let that out. I know it’ll be fine and I’m going to stick it out for a few months I guess and see how I feel and reevaluate if I do actually need something more consistent or if the wfh thing is not working for me. They’re very kind and told me if it’s not enough hours we can talk about reducing them so I can work on other things or another job. They’re really nice people and I do like them so I don’t want it to come off like I’m complaining about them. I’m just so burned out, everything feels like a crisis and working any amount at all feels like a prison sentence. Still wouldn’t trade this job for the world but it’s hard to feel passionate when I don’t feel much of anything at all besides exhaustion.
submitted by Treenutqween to Nanny [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:24 Duffmanvg7575 Suspended for being 5 mins late- Do I Quit? Stay? Both?

Hey, all so I just need get something off my chest.
Today I was suspended without pay, for 2 days because I was 5 mins late. Theres quite a bit of backstory so lets get into the weeds.
I work as a shipping clerk for a unionized company in NY (A hire at will state). I'm not union and assume can't be, because my job is office/clerical and theirs is heavy lifting and productivity.I'm given, yearly 40 hours of personal time, and 2 weeks' vacation time which I've exhausted as of 2 weeks ago. Use was put toward a single trip, my 2-year-old and daycare closing, along with depression that I'm handling day by day.
This all starts when I exhausted my time. I was told I could freely make up time as long as I hit 40 hours each week. This was the running deal with my supervisor (Call him H) but not my manager (Call him J) for the past year and a half. After I exhausted my time, I took 3 days and got written up by my J (but not by H). No big deal, this was a slap on the wrist, and I knew that I did wrong. I knew there were consequences. They wanted a promise that this wouldn't be an issue and during write up meeting 1, I explained that I have depression and that I'm starting medicine to help me get better but I wont miss time. I'm committed and happy with my job. It was a bit personal, but I thought I had that relationship with my manager.
Monday of last week, my doctor called and explained that I might be interested in FMLA. FMLA covers depression as a major condition and I could use the time to help manage flair ups, or "get better" I was interested and talked to my HR. HR provided me the paperwork on Thursday, and I immediately sought to drop off the paperwork to my doctor that evening. Office was closed and I thought "this is important, I need to do it the next morning". I text my boss that I was going to be 15 mins late, just dropping off paperwork to my doctor. I dropped off the paperwork Friday and toward the end of the day, was served a write up from my CEO, for being 15 mins late. (Backstory here, HR Manager is out on medical leave, so my CEO is acting HR right now).
Monday, I was still upset but put water under the bridge. I worked diligently and aimed to come in, at 8, every morning. Tuesday rolls around and I had to wrestle with a sleepless night with my son. I was tired, and annoyed but Google Maps says I got to the gate at 8:02. My workstation is how I log my time, so I needed to wait for the PC to boot and website to load, and my punch read 8:05. I didn't think anything of it, because the prior conversation had me worried about 15 mins to an hour over. This was still in a typical grace period for most. I was confronted with a 3rd and final warning, met with a suspension until Monday. The CEO said, "Take the time and we will sit down Monday to see if you really want to continue working here."
The last bit of backstory is that we have a performance evaluation. I was graded as all 4's (out of 5). My work is stellar, my ambitions for the role were high, and I loved the people I worked with. My only issue to them is my attendance. Which has been a mixed bag of messages, because my supervisor is way more relaxed than my manager. My manager doesn't even really manage me at the end of day. He (I think) doesn't want to see me dismissed.
I have half a mind to throw it in their face on Monday and say "I want to work here but do you want me to work here? I'm committed, and enthusiastic about my job. I have a medical issue I'm working to resolve but your pressure isn't helping any of it. Why compound the write ups and not give me a chance to atone?" Sorry for the long ramble. Being in NY state doesn't fill me with much confidence for Unemployment, or wrongful termination but I know they don't want me anymore. I know it.
Any and all advice on the situation would be appreciated.
submitted by Duffmanvg7575 to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:16 Efficient_Rip2802 Do my gf have it or do I?

My gf broke up with me 1 month after she got me back in her apartment. Our relationship was of 5 years. We lived in her appartment for 2.
Last saturday We had the best time. Very close and she invited me to stay and sleep/cuddle and what's included. She told me that I'm the love of her life, she feels whole with me. That every thing else feels fake. And she said sorry for breaking up. This is one month after Judgement day.
The next mornign we ended up talking about how it didn't work out. On empty stomach. While talking I wanted us to go and eat she wanted to talk so we stayed. She had clothes on I was naked. When we talked I wanted to take clothes on she said it didn't matter I took clothes on anyway. Talking about how we didn't work out. I wanted to say that we can learn if we talk about it and she dosnt think so. She thinks we tried everything and started saying things like I've never liked living with her. I start defending and explaining why I was sad at times ect. Some of the the things was very close to heart.
She had been living with friends family when she was young. We had a thi g eating at their place every Thursday.
One day I said. I like that we so comedy on Mondays. We eat with your parents on Wednesday and with your friends parents on Thursday. They are warm and welcome people as it ever gets everyone can join.
Then she said it was only because she invited me that I could join. So I could not be anticipating or expecting to join like that. She didn't think I understood how close they where and why I shouldn't be there like that. But I was welcome anytime she wanted me to.
This was an example of one thing as this happend other times. Everything we had been there I was happy and she too. Last time we went she got late I got on time. She wanted me to go on time so I respected theirs.
Zooming out... After that morning she got very sad she felt I talked badly to her. And then I was kicked out of the apartment again like one month prior.
The last messages........
(Me m27) 3 hours after Hey you
It went so fast this morning.
I am grateful for you and all you have given. You are a good person, BRAVE, a great cook. Mille you truly deserve of all people to feel good and be happy and connected. A beautiful girl with countless qualities.
this was not the time or place to bring up the past it was my fault. It really only has to be in small amounts or not at all. I have to realize past is past and don't repeat it now. Didn't want to hurt you. For now, the time is for rest and healing.
Happy with the time we had yesterday, should have gone while it worked. Thanks for trying.
Worried about digging, mouse.
Take care of yourself out there, allow yourself to grieve and use those closest to you. You are never alone
(Gf, f25)
Thanks for the message - we probably won't have much contact in the future. It is not healthy for me to be spoken to so badly - it hurts my heart very much.
(Me) 1 day after I'm sorry I spoke so badly and hurt your heart❤️‍🩹
(GF) it makes me sad that you only see it after.
(Me) sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.
To say it out. She used 1 month to say I'm sorry for breaking up. I used 1 day ti say I'm sorry for hurting you. And acually did so when I was kicked out and on a text hours later.
When I was kicked out I hugged her appoylized and left.
Is this narcissism is it me or is it her???
I feel I try everything and try to explain to her why it will work and that we love each other but we need to be better at communicating.
This story is just the end of the relationship for now. But we had many micro stories witch are like this one. It ends with me taking bad to her. I don't raise my voice. I don't use swear words. But I use the word( you did this. You said things had to be like this and then you behaved like this )
submitted by Efficient_Rip2802 to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 18:08 Duffmanvg7575 Suspended for being 5 mins late

Hey, all so I just need get something off my chest.
Today I was suspended without pay, for 2 days because I was 5 mins late. Theres quite a bit of backstory so lets get into the weeds.
I work as a shipping clerk for a unionized company in NY (A hire at will state). I'm not union and assume can't be, because my job is office/clerical and theirs is heavy lifting and productivity.
I'm given, yearly 40 hours of personal time, and 2 weeks' vacation time which I've exhausted as of 2 weeks ago. Use was put toward a single trip, my 2-year-old and daycare closing, along with depression that I'm handling day by day.
This all starts when I exhausted my time. I was told I could freely make up time as long as I hit 40 hours each week. This was the running deal with my supervisor (Call him H) but not my manager (Call him J) for the past year and a half. After I exhausted my time, I took 3 days and got written up by my J (but not by H). No big deal, this was a slap on the wrist, and I knew that I did wrong. I knew there were consequences. They wanted a promise that this wouldn't be an issue and during write up meeting 1, I explained that I have depression and that I'm starting medicine to help me get better but I wont miss time. I'm committed and happy with my job. It was a bit personal, but I thought I had that relationship with my manager.
Monday of last week, my doctor called and explained that I might be interested in FMLA. FMLA covers depression as a major condition and I could use the time to help manage flair ups, or "get better" I was interested and talked to my HR. HR provided me the paperwork on Thursday, and I immediately sought to drop off the paperwork to my doctor that evening. Office was closed and I thought "this is important, I need to do it the next morning". I text my boss that I was going to be 15 mins late, just dropping off paperwork to my doctor. I dropped off the paperwork Friday and toward the end of the day, was served a write up from my CEO, for being 15 mins late. (Backstory here, HR Manager is out on medical leave, so my CEO is acting HR right now).
Monday, I was still upset but put water under the bridge. I worked diligently and aimed to come in, at 8, every morning. Tuesday rolls around and I had to wrestle with a sleepless night with my son. I was tired, and annoyed but Google Maps says I got to the gate at 8:02. My workstation is how I log my time, so I needed to wait for the PC to boot and website to load, and my punch read 8:05. I didn't think anything of it, because the prior conversation had me worried about 15 mins to an hour over. This was still in a typical grace period for most. I was confronted with a 3rd and final warning, met with a suspension until Monday. The CEO said, "Take the time and we will sit down Monday to see if you really want to continue working here."
The last bit of backstory is that we have a performance evaluation. I was graded as all 4's (out of 5). My work is stellar, my ambitions for the role were high, and I loved the people I worked with. My only issue to them is my attendance. Which has been a mixed bag of messages, because my supervisor is way more relaxed than my manager. My manager doesn't even really manage me at the end of day. He (I think) doesn't want to see me dismissed.
I have half a mind to throw it in their face on Monday and say "I want to work here but do you want me to work here? I'm committed, and enthusiastic about my job. I have a medical issue I'm working to resolve but your pressure isn't helping any of it. Why compound the write ups and not give me a chance to atone?" Sorry for the long ramble. Being in NY state doesn't fill me with much confidence for Unemployment, or wrongful termination but I know they don't want me anymore. I know it.
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2023.06.08 18:08 SnowMonkey1971 Retiring from r/poker on my birthday (today)

52 cards in a deck, 52 years of life, seems a fitting milestone to hang up my troll cleats and spare my haters any more anguish and anxiety on this platform.
When The Snow Monkey was born and born again and again in the LATB chat streets countless times years ago, I had no idea the incredible journey from internet to IRL would unfold as it had.
My accomplishments are too numerous to list, but a few stand out: HCL's Max Pain Monday was named by yours truly, and I solicited and received the blessing of DQ post-suggestion.
DQ helped me with another person's situation and I owe him much gratitude. He is one of a few magnanimous people in Poker who generously use and understand the power of clout beyond mere wealth.
Rallying public support for Poker Bunny when it became sport to demean and bully her the way a new kid at junior high might suffer is also something I'm proud of. That support also extended into private discussions and I'm glad that the shameful vitriol and mischaracterizations of her and her actions were put into check whenever the persistent misogynists abused their privileges in further attempts to sabotage her public image.
Matt Berkey's legacy as a failed podcaster will be traced directly back to his two-faced depiction and insincere concern for her well-being during her most difficult ordeal post-surgery.
In the same vein, my defense of Robbi Jade Lew from Garrett Adelstein's ridiculous and unproven claims of cheating leave a similar legacy.
The greatest reward I've had was meeting my poker crush Colleen Long in person and playing poker together at The Bicycle Casino outdoors during the re-opening under COVID protocols. Sad that we rescheduled an actual appearance on the live stream when masks and plexiglass suddenly became required again, only to ultimately go our separate ways. Who knows what the future brings.
They say you are nobody online until somebody hates you, but I want to really thank my dozens and scores of hardcore fans, some who were on Team Snow Monkey back when I had a doomed YouTube channel. My goal with every troll was to make at least one of you get the joke and laugh, no matter how weird or obscure it might be. There are too many of you to list, but you know who you are.
I will continue to play live poker and hope to make my debut on a stream someday, but in lieu of trolling on Reddit and elsewhere, I will be creating some artwork. Those of who interested in that can follow me on Instagram.
My final message here is simply one of encouragement: truth matters, and every downvote you can get in pursuit of defending the truth, for the sake of truth, is truly something. Good luck, Everyone!
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